She Comes And Goes As She Pleases
by BrDPirateMan
Summary: Neku's life turns upside-down when he falls for Eri, Shibuya's most eccentric girl. She's many things: fashion-lover, energetic joker, shameless exhibitionist (she likes stripping). But best of all, she's the girl he loves. ECCHI.
1. Every Weird Friendship Has a Beginning

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 1)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

She took a deep breath to take in the aroma of the kitchen.

"Mmmm… Nothing like the scent of a good breakfast in the morning."

At that time I was busy cooking at the stove. "Oh, 'morning," I mumbled over my shoulder. "Slept well, Eri?"

With shocking gracelessness she ruffled her unruly pink locks. "Eh, kinda. But the hangover is terrible." She slumped in a seat at the kitchen table, groaning and clutching her head. I took five seconds off the stove to pour her a glass of water, which she graciously took and gulped down in one go.

"Is it very bad?" I asked, returning to the miso soup that was simmering.

"Well, you know how hangovers are like, Neku. Ain't the prettiest thing ever."

"If you're not a fan of splitting headaches," I muttered flatly, "then just stop drinking."

Eri grumbled and made a face. "Don't wanna… Beer tastes great. You should try it too."

"Nah, I'll pass." Now, how was the soup? I took a clean spoon and scooped some up to taste. It was perfect. "Hey, breakfast is gonna be ready in a few. Why don't you go freshen yourself – "

I was startled to see that she had sidled up right beside me, gazing at the soup and sniffing at the wonderful briny smell. Her eyes were closed as she took it into her system to appreciate the scent, and judging from the smile on her lips, she liked the way the soup had turned out.

"Miso soup today?" she breathed. "My favourite. You sure know how to cook 'em, Neku."

It was nice getting positive feedback on my cooking, but…

"Um, l-like I said," I coughed, "breakfast will be ready in a bit, so why don't you go and freshen yourself up… And while you're at it, put on some clothes, will you?"

The whole time we were talking, Eri was clad in only her underwear. It's a habit of hers to take her clothes off before she goes to sleep; goodness knows why. But like so many mornings after, having gotten up straight from bed, she would absent-mindedly walk around in practically nothing. The kitchen was hardly the place to appear in just a bra and panties, but… that's exactly what she did. And no matter how many times I had seen this, it was still distracting at best.

She glanced down at herself but hardly showed any signs of surprise, if at all. In her life, such a thing was common. Her only reply was a cheeky one, "Well I'll be darned, I forgot to get dressed."

As she shuffled in the direction of the bathroom, cursing and clutching her painful head, I called out, "Towel's in the usual place. And your clothes are in there too, washed and ironed."

"Washed and ironed? Thanks! You're awesome, Neku!" Hmmm, in a good mood today as usual, was she? "I'll join you for breakfast after my shower, so wait for me, 'kay? And Neku…"

I turned back and leaned to look into the small hallway where her head was poking out of the bathroom door. "Yes?"

Her voice was mock stern. "No peeking, got it?"

"I'm not that evil…"

She just giggled and shut the door. Over the quiet burbling of the soup I could just about hear the hiss of the shower. She had better not use up all of the hot water again like she was prone to… I always took my own bath after cooking in the kitchen and getting sweaty – it could be hard work – and the last thing I wanted was a cold shower. I hated those.

XOXOXOXOXO

To understand why Eri was spending the morning having breakfast at my place instead of her own – and in her underwear no less – I need to wind back time and talk about our origins.

I'm Neku Sakuraba and I just entered college. This was my second semester and while things have been steadily growing more hectic, it was still fun. Graphic design's where it's at.

Eri is a friend of mine, but to explain how my friendship with her started, I'd have to first explain about another friend I know. Her name is Shiki Misaki and I knew her from school, back during our teenage years.

Shiki and I… we were like peanut butter and jam. The two of us had a strong friendship, and as luck would have it, I started to fall for her.

I could never confess my feelings for her, though, for a number of reasons, chief among them cold feet and unforeseen circumstances. It's like a cruel joke. It's been three years since I met her and not a single attempt that I made to get closer to her worked. Sadly, she was still oblivious to my growing feelings.

As if things couldn't get any worse, I was now faced with a mountain of unavoidable hurdles. We went to different colleges, stayed far away from each other, and our tight conflicting schedules made it hard to get in touch. Somewhere along the line, the magic just disappeared: we're not that close anymore. We're growing apart, and I didn't want that.

Eri was Shiki's bosom buddy, and where there was Shiki, there would always be an Eri. One of her mottos was "Any friend of Shiki's is a friend of mine", and since she knew how the two of us went way back, she recognized me as a rightful pal of hers too.

She lives close by, along the same street as my apartment – just a few houses away – so we would wait at the same bus stop together. Eri and I naturally got to talking, and before long we went from acquaintances to surprisingly close friends.

The rather ironic upshot was that while I was drifting away from Shiki, I was growing closer to Eri. Funny how life works and screws you over.

But don't get me wrong… I wasn't saying that befriending Eri was a regretful thing or what – the opposite is true, as she's a really nice person in all truth. It's just… at the end of the day, my goal of spending a life with Shiki was growing farther and farther from my grasp.

Enough about Shiki and my own dreams for now, though. By now everyone's probably itching to know exactly why the heck I had a girl over for breakfast, and she was in her underwear. Well… that in itself is quite the story.

Eri was famous for her beauty, her carefree fun-loving attitude, as well as being a little bit eccentric – she's a fashion genius and I imagine that all geniuses have quirks of their own, so it makes sense that she's a little… strange.

I'm not even going to go into details but what I can say is that she has a weird, almost perverse sense of humour; a tendency to get overexcited over the tiniest of things; as well as an acute level of shamelessness. She squeals out loud when she lays eyes on the latest clothes in her favourite line. She devours fashion with such a passion it's genuinely scary. Did I mention she doesn't mind undressing or walking around half-naked in front of me? If she truly doesn't care being seen by me with so much of her body exposed, then maybe that's a strong testament to how close we really were: I may be a boy and she a girl, but she's perfectly comfortable around me. At least that's what I figure. Or maybe she doesn't see me as much of a man?

Even though she's fine with it – and _I_ for one certainly don't mind – my hormones always have a hard time. It's hard for a normal guy like me to _not_ look at her attractive face and be wowed by her gorgeous toned body. Having to suppress my urges is such a challenge, especially when Shiki was my main goal in the first place!

But all that still doesn't explain why Eri was over at my place, so I've got another anecdote to share…

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri's quite the drinker, and every so often, she would go out and have a good time with her gal pals getting plastered on draft beer at some sushi bar. She usually manages to get back home somehow, but one night, much to my surprise, she showed up at my doorstep.

"Eri?" I had to squint at that disheveled face to make sure it was her.

The alcohol reeked in her breath as she spoke. "Hi, Neku. You free for a bit?"

For a few seconds I didn't know what to say. But before I could even mutter anything else, she continued in slurred speech, "I'm so tired… And walking back home like this is a real drag. Hate to bother you, but… could I crash at your place?"

I wasn't interested in having a drunkard over for the night – tipsy people could be a whole heap of trouble – so I tried to talk her out of it. "But your house is only a few blocks away. It's not too much of a stretch to walk there."

"Please?" she pleaded. "I'm really in no condition to do anything right now. I just need to… lay down and rest a bit."

She did look terrible. In her state she was probably unable to do much. If anything, she looked ready to drop to the floor and sleep right then and there. Reluctantly, I let her in. She graciously entered my home. The moment she did, I regretted it.

She took scarcely a few steps into the living room before she started peeling clothes off of herself!

It's useless to reason with a drunk person, but by instinct I almost yelled, "Eri, what the heck are you doing? !"

"I gotta sleep," she mumbled, flinging her crop top onto the couch, "an' when I sleep it gets hot at night, so I jus' sleep in my undies. Y'know what I'm sayin', right, Neku?"

Seeing her terrific body in that skimpy strapless bra must have completely dazed me, because, rather stupidly, I said, "Um… I dunno about that…"

She hadn't even gotten her mini-skirt down her thighs before she suddenly looped her arms around me in a sloppy hug. I recoiled in shock, but couldn't escape her embrace.

"Whassat you say?" she purred, her hot breath tickling my ear. "You don' sleep in your underwear, Neku? So you, like, sleep naked?"

It was all I could do to save myself from choking. "What? ! No! L-Look, Eri, you've had a bit too much to drink…" – she was so close… – "…I'll get you some water…" – her firm breasts were pressing against my chest – "…then you can get to bed and rest, and – "

Without warning she threw her body weight onto me and the two of us stumbled onto the couch, where I ended up trapped beneath her. And she was giggling.

"Hee hee hee… Yer so cute, Neku, when yer blushin' like that." Her grip on me never faltered, and as her overexposed body lay full-length along mine, I began to wonder what terrible fate might await me if she suddenly became sober right then and there, only to misunderstand the situation and think that I had stripped her with my own hands.

But she remained as drunk and hopelessly oblivious as ever. Depending on how I perceived my current situation, it was either the best thing ever, or the worst. Eri was a babe, a total knockout; that much I could attest to. I would be lying if I didn't enjoy the feeling of her fantastic body on mine. However, at the same time, I felt really uneasy. The girl I loved was Shiki, not her, and with each sinfully enjoyable second that passed I felt all the more like I was cheating on her, even when we weren't even going out. It was one heck of a quandary.

My feelings about this matter notwithstanding, one thing was for certain: I couldn't budge. Eri had me pinned down. Where a lithe, delicate and supposedly weak person like her got her strength, I didn't know, and seriously, did it matter at a time like this? I needed to get out fast. She continued to snuggle up against me and rub her head in my chest much like how a cat might rub against its owner's leg.

"Eri," I stammered, "c-could you get off of me? I need to find you a place where you can sleep."

She mumbled incoherently, "But I wanna sleep here. Yer gonna be my bolster." Dammit… she could be so kinky when she's drunk!

"Come on, Eri. I'm serious." …Or so I said, but the fleshy softness of her chest squashing against mine took a lot of the firmness out of my words.

Her droopy eyes flashed with mischief as she lifted her head to look at me.

"Heh… Neku…"

"What?"

She brought her mouth to my ear, so closely I almost thought her lips would touch it, and her warm breath billowed onto my skin. My hair stood on end. And then, obviously in jest, she whispered:

"You're making a tent in your underwear."

Oh dammit.

"I-I'm sorry!" I blurted. "I didn't… I mean it wasn't…! It was just…" What was I supposed to say to explain myself for something like _that?_

Fortunately I didn't have to say anything more, because when she didn't reply or retort anything back, I knew she was sleeping. Like a log, even. It made me feel silly to get worked up over her lewd comment.

After a great effort to pry myself free from her python grip, I found myself wondering what to do with her. I had never had a girl over at my place – not even Shiki – so I was at a loss. Not only was this the first time this has happened, it was also the first time where said girl was drunk and naked… That chest of hers… it was so nice to the touch… and that body was like heaven personified… And the perfume she was wearing was intoxicating… Mmm… vanilla…

No! I had to focus! I'm so sorry, Shiki! The quick slap to my own cheek stung, but it did well to bring me back to my senses.

Now let's see… At the very least, she should have a good place to rest, and it definitely shouldn't be a couch. Luckily, as my home was a two-bedroom apartment and I was the only occupant, there was a spare bedroom that she could use. Soon she was snoozing like a lamb and seeing her look so comfortable as she slept gave me a sense of chivalrous satisfaction, a feeling that, despite all the odds placed against me, I had done well as a gentleman.

That was that, and it was high time I went to bed myself, but for some reason I couldn't stop staring at Eri's sleeping form. She was pretty enough to demand second glances. Whereas before she may have seemed like a drunken idiot, now she actually looked like an angel. I loved Shiki, but Eri's beauty was so mesmerising that I allowed myself, albeit guiltily, to examine her facial features in greater detail. After a thousand apologies to Shiki, I knelt at the side of the bed to take a closer look.

Words couldn't describe her loveliness enough, so I wouldn't. All I knew was that I couldn't tear my eyes off of her face.

I found myself whispering unconsciously, "She's so pretty…"

She stirred in her sleep, making me think that she had heard me. My panic disappeared when she simply rolled over to her side. Still asleep… That was close.

Then I realized that her blanket had somehow crumpled in such a way that her back, which was facing me, was now exposed. And I really mean it: the whole of her back. For some reason, the hook of her bra had come loose and detached itself, so her back was now in full view, that meadow of skin looking so pristine.

It was here that the world was privy to an amazing feat of the human body: the infamous Crimson Fountain of Death…

…also known as an explosive nosebleed.

Oh god! I'd never seen a naked woman before… I'd never even dared to look at a men's magazine… and now there was an insanely sexy girl dressed in panties and plenty of air sleeping in my own home? ! I couldn't take it. My nose bled so much that I had to retreat to the bathroom sink.

Now I felt even guiltier! This wasn't happening (in both a good and bad way)!

_Shiki, I'm so sorry! ! !_

XOXOXOXOXO

The next morning, as I was cooking breakfast, there was an almighty scream. Oh boy. That was Eri's voice coming from the spare bedroom. I could more or less guess what was up. I threw all caution to the wind, said a prayer for good luck and charged right in.

"Eri," I called, "what's wrong? !"

Upon my intrusion, she gave a start and screamed again. "Neku? !"

The girl was in a sitting position, her hair all in a mess, and the blanket pulled up coyly to her chest. My sharp eye caught a glimpse of the rear strap of her bra dangling precariously behind her back. She hadn't even bothered to hook it closed yet? ! I had to fight back another nosebleed.

Her eyes were wide with fear and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and her entire frame was shaking like an earthquake. She tried to speak, but her voice was hard to find. At last, in one breath, she blurted, "N-Neku! What's going on? ! I'm… I'm in your house? ! What am I doing here? And most importantly, why am I naked? !"

I had to clear my name, and quickly. "You're mistaken, Eri!" I spluttered. "You came here drunk last night and had to stay over. But I didn't do a single thing to you!"

She twitched in pain, seemingly from a hangover, and clutched her head. Nevertheless, she was still flustered. "Th-Then why am I not wearing anything? !"

"You took off your clothes by yourself!" Last night's memory of her brief stint as an amateur stripper threatened to spill my nose over anew.

"I… I did?" Her panic petered out and she regressed into a calmer state. "Oh… um…"

Wait a minute. Why was she calm about this anyway?

"I really didn't do anything, Eri," I repeated, not knowing what else to say. "I swear, I did not a single thing." In rapid-fire detail I went on to reiterate the fact that it was she who came into my home and stripped herself stupid, but I cleverly chose not to disclose about how she tried to seduce me in while she was drunk. She listened and clung onto every word with widening eyes that threatened to outgrow her own eye sockets.

"And that's pretty much it, Eri," I said at last. "Um, I know this isn't exactly the right thing to say at a time like this, but breakfast is almost ready. I thought you might be hungry, so I made an extra portion for you."

I was about to high tail it back to the kitchen before the awkwardness settled in too much, but she stopped me in my tracks. "Wait."

"Huh?"

"Neku… I get that I took off my clothes on my own accord, but…"

"B-But what?"

"But I don't remember a thing from last night…"

"That's because you were drunk." Perhaps it was better she didn't remember _everything_ that happened…

"I see… So, um, about last night…" She started to blush and refused to meet my eyes. Then she asked the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard in my life. "Was it… enjoyable?"

WHOA? !

The thought of me and Eri doing… Well, there were a number of things she could have meant, but the only one that seemed to make sense in this context was… But there was no way she could… I could… we could… and then there was… Well, again I say, WHOA? !

"Wh-What are you saying, Eri? !" I stammered.

"Neku," she muttered softly, "if what you've told me is the truth, then I'm so sorry for barging in last night. My… deepest apologies. But at least tell me if… if we… you know… and if… if you, um… enjoyed it…"

My head was spinning just from imagining that highly unlikely scenario. "Eri, you need to chill out! We didn't, um, hop into bed and have… you know!"

"Huh?"

"The current circumstances make it look like we did _that_, but the truth is we didn't! What makes you think we did? !"

Her eyes grew wider, followed by a slight frown and some surprisingly calm words, although she was looking away in embarrassment as she talked. "Neku… I wasn't talking about _that_."

"Eh?"

"I was just wondering if we were somehow playing strip poker last night, and whether you found it… enjoyable. I mean, I _was_ drunk…"

Eri's logic was so skewed I didn't know what to think. And she was sober too.

"You're so mean, Neku," she huffed quietly, "saying that I would do such dirty things…" Well, you've done plenty of crazy things already, Eri; I just thought that it would only be natural of you to take the next step…

Defeated, I decided to just let her win this round. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Sorry for having such a dirty mind. I'll clear it out with bleach afterwards." I spoke those words with a deadpan, but hoped that my veiled humour would cheer her up.

To my surprise, she actually smiled. It was a small insignificant one, but one that showed how relieved she was. There was also a hint of amusement. "Add in some detergent while you're at it."

I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. "Ah… yeah."

It looked like everything was returning to normal at last… although a girl talking so nonchalantly to a boy with only a flimsy blanket for protection hardly qualified as normal. But at the same time, there was this strange feeling starting to grow within me… Even when this conversation was incredibly weird, even perverse, why did I find myself enjoying the interaction I was having with this girl who wasn't even my love interest? It was only a tiny fraction of a feeling, but one I couldn't ignore.

Did I actually like talking to Eri this much before?

Her meek voice came through to me. "N-Neku?"

"Oh! Um, yes?"

"Wh-Where are my clothes?"

Her clothes, that she flung all over the place last night? "I, uh… Well, the smell of the alcohol on your clothes was very strong, so I washed them last night and hung them in the bathroom to dry. Last I checked, they're still damp, so… uh…"

"You washed them?" she gushed, impressed. "For me? Gee… thanks. But…"

"Y-Yeah…" I gulped. "That means you'll be stuck here till it dries. Well, no matter, I'll bring your breakfast to you – "

My sentence faded midway as I watched her kick her blanket away and get back on her feet, fiddling with her undergarments. There she stood, looking disheveled yet remarkable as she fixed up her bra. When she was done, she had this to say to me.

"No need to go out of your way for that, Neku. I'll just eat at the table as is. Breakfast in bed is just too much trouble, you know? The crumbs and stuff just get everywhere." One final once-over at herself and a quick hand through her messy hair to smoothen it out, and she was ready to paint the town red. With the blood from my nosebleed. I could only gape and tremble as she strolled out of the room past me like walking around in underwear was as common as eating or breathing.

"Can I borrow your bathroom for a bit, Neku? I'm gonna need a shower."

I nodded stupidly and showed her the way.

As she showered I found myself collapsed against the nearest wall, wondering how someone as strange as Eri could even exist in the first place. She was a peculiar one, to be sure. Nudity was hardly a cause of concern for her. How was this possible? !

Shortly afterwards, as I was still in a daze, the bathroom door opened and out poked her head, hair dripping with water. "Oh yeah, Neku, you got any towels? I just finished showering and I'm naked but can't find anything to wrap myself in."

_N-Naked_… how could she say such a word so easily? ! "L-Look at the rack above the sink," I mumbled, turning away to hide the blood gushing out of my nose, "it's hard to see, but it's there."

A moment later she announced that she had found what she needed. "They were here all this time. Silly me!"

One final giggle and the door closed blissfully behind her.

God… This was all so much to take in. Especially for my poor nose. After this episode was over, I might need to make a trip to the hospital for a blood transfusion…

XOXOXOXOXO

That was an extremely long-winded way of saying just how carefree and downright strange Eri was. After that incident, she started coming over to my house more often, and every time it was because she was drunk and needed a convenient place to crash. Think of all the money I could rake in if I charged her for all those times she treated my house like an inn! I could earn my first hundred thousand yen like this…

I always had breakfast alone, but that night heralded the start of many days where she would share the dinner table with me. We had reached a point where she was almost like she was a housemate or something.

At first, she seemed like a pest. But over time I got used to her presence, and now, well, I didn't really mind.

It's just… why…

Why couldn't it be Shiki instead of Eri? ! We could have become so much closer! Argh, just the thought of it could kill me in more ways than one! If it was Shiki frolicking around in a bra and panties instead of Eri… what a fantastic thing it would be…

"Neku?" came Eri's voice over breakfast. "You're getting your nosebleed in your miso soup. Are you okay?"

My trials were pretty daunting as they were, but nothing could prepare me for what was to come in the near future…


	2. I'll Confess For Sure This Time!

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 2)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Thank you for the meal."

"You're… welcome."

Eri gathered up the dishes, offering to collect mine as well. I told her she didn't need to wash them up as I could do it, but she insisted. She was hovering around the kitchen sink cleaning up and spoke to me over her shoulder as she did. "I absolutely love your miso soup, Neku. You should become my own personal chef."

"Um… well, uh-huh…"

She huffed, "Geez, Neku. Were you always this uptight? What's with you? Lack of calcium?"

"I'm not angry or anything! But… when I told you to get dressed…"

She looked down at herself. "But I'm wearing a shirt. What's the problem?"

"That _is_ the problem!" I spluttered. "You're wearing only a shirt! Why aren't you wearing any pants? !"

When she took a harder look at herself, only then did she seem – or pretend – to realize that what I said was true: she had no pants on, only a tight pair of lacy panties. I hated to admit it, but I wasn't strong-willed enough to tear my eyes away from her perky behind… So that's how all those low-slung mini-skirts she likes to wear stay on…

Eri didn't seem the least perturbed by her glaring lack of anything below the waist. In fact, she almost seemed to be laughing at me, as though it was nothing strange and that I was kicking up an unnecessarily big fuss.

"So?" she giggled.

I had to dig my knuckles into my thigh to try and reassert control over myself and my male urges. Any other day, the pain would have been unwelcome, here it was almost therapeutic. Anything to punish myself for being so unfaithful to Shiki! …Even though we weren't going out.

"Eri," I mumbled though gritted teeth, "every time you come here to stay overnight, you never dress properly… It's almost like you're doing it on purpose or something."

"Well, it can't be helped." She was doing the last of the plates. "It's really hot these days, and the last thing I want is to get my pants all soggy from sweat."

"Th-That doesn't explain why you've chosen to wear a shirt, though…"

"Oh, what's this now…" she chuckled, enjoying herself. "Is this a veiled request for me to take off my shirt too?"

I choked on my coffee. "N-No, that's not it! ! !"

Her laughter rang in the air as she finished up with the sink. She found the sight of me coughing and struggling with my scalded throat especially funny. "You're so cute when you get flustered like that, Neku. And that blush makes you even cuter."

"I'm not blushing," I protested, pounding my aching chest. "I'm not (cough) blushing."

She happened to glance at the kitchen clock hanging on the wall. "Oh, look at the time! I'll be late for class if I don't hurry!" The pitter-patter of her feet on the wooden floor was rapid as she scampered back and disappeared into the spare bedroom where she always slept when she spent the night at my place.

"Don't go out half-dressed," I called out, in my typical deadpan manner.

"I wouldn't!" she huffed. "What am I, some kind of pervert?"

_Yes, you are…_

Her strange behaviour was exasperating, yet somewhat amusing at the same time. Yes, she could be a real handful if she so chose it, but other times she could be quite tolerable, maybe even a little cute. Of course, I hasten to add that Shiki was the girl whom I was crazy about, not her. Still, despite being the mixed bag that she was – two parts weirdo, one part deviant – overall, she was quite a nice girl.

And so, such was yet another morning spent with Eri: fashion buff, prankster, near-nudist extraordinaire… and, believe it or not, friend.

XOXOXOXOXO

Every morning, Eri and I would take the bus to college, and like every other morning, we would get to talking during the five-minute journey. Our conversations were surprisingly engaging, so it rarely degraded into a one-way affair. She loved her fashion and I my art, but our differing interests were no obstacle to achieving great communication.

And her goofiness, silly as it may be, actually served to make things interesting. Her lack of delicacy – a trait I'd been witness to long enough – also kept things interesting, albeit in a different kind of way…

"My boyfriend and I are all SDLD right now!" she squealed.

"SDLD…?" I scratched the back of my neck in puzzlement. "Is that some kind of drug?"

"No, come on, get a grip. You know it means _s_uper-_d_uper _l_ovey-_d_ovey! We do everything together!"

I took a playful jab at her, "Including crashing into people's homes to stay for the night?"

"How rude!" A hefty 'hmph' from her, and she carried on, "I may be like that but he isn't!"

"You sure have a thick cheek to be able to admit that so readily…"

"J-Just shut up and listen to me, Neku!" Then she continued to gush about her love life like the idiot she was. "Anyway, we do everything together! We're doing the same course, we go on dates… We spend hours making out…"

I gagged on my own saliva. "Um, yeah… Making out. Very interesting…"

"Are you listening, Neku? Oh, I bet you're busy thinking about Shiki again?"

"H-Huh? Wait, I really was listening…"

"No, you weren't!" she said accusingly. "I bet you were probably fantasizing about sharing a shower together with Shiki – " WHAP!

That was the sound of my hand slapping over her mouth. Everyone heard it and was looking our way. The blush on my face deepened to a frightening colour. How could she mention something like that in public? !

"Shut it, Eri!" I hissed. "That's crazy talk!"

She pushed my hand away. "But it's normal to imagine doing all sorts of things with the person you love, right?"

I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It was true that I loved Shiki to death, and Eri was painfully spot-on about me thinking of doing, well, this and that with her! But it was no good. My friendship with Shiki was weakening because we weren't getting in touch much. With our packed schedules, getting together for even a cup of coffee was impossible. She had her life and I had mine, and I feared that after so long we no longer matched. Dating her was a far-fetched dream, though I refused to stop chasing it.

Eri knew about my predicament, but I never turned to her for help in this matter because I thought it would be too awkward. At times she would, however, offer words of encouragement which I gratefully accepted. "You mustn't give up, Neku!" went one of her standout pieces of advice. "I'm sure she loves guys with hedgehog hairdos and bad fashion sense too!"

She nudged me in the arm and grinned widely. "Hey, keep on at it, Neku. Shiki's not dumb. She'll pick up on your pheromones sooner or later."

I managed a small smile for her. "Th-Thanks." Pheromones?

I was thinking about how, despite her obvious faults, Eri could be rather cool. She could almost be like another Shiki…

Wait… another Shiki? ! No, I didn't like Eri in that way…

But… why couldn't I stop thinking about her?

My train of thoughts came to a grinding halt when her college came into view and she had to alight. We bid each other goodbye for the day but before she stepped off the bus, much to my mortification, she called out to me for one final – though not as welcome – bunch of encouraging words:

"Don't be a quitter, Neku! I'm sure the day will come when you can take showers with Shiki!"

I froze in my seat as everyone glanced from her to me. All of this unwanted attention was unbearable. How I wished I could bury my face in the floor!

"Eri!" I spluttered. Man, was I mad at her!

But she just laughed and hopped off the bus, leaving everyone in a catatonic state of shock. Needless to say I had it worse. She really had a knack for putting people on edge whenever she's around…

XOXOXOXOXO

When was the last time I spent time with Shiki?

About a week before college life started for both of us, we had gone out for a movie and burgers. The whole time, everything seemed so happy and normal that I thought we could continue to do this as often as we wished in college. I had looked forward to seeing more of Shiki's smiles and hearing more of her gentle laughter in time to come.

But I was so naïve. When our worlds separated with the first semester, my despair grew with each time I offered to bring her out for tea or ramen, only to be told very regrettably that she had heaps of coursework to do. Having fun together became a thing of the past.

Shiki may be practically non-existent now, but Eri's always there to keep me company.

However, as one may already know, this wasn't necessarily a good thing!

When she's drunk she turns into a lecher and teases me to the point where I fear that she might rape me. When she's back to normal the next morning, she teases me about my shyness, and more often than not does something worse than the nonsense from the night before. Frankly, sometimes it's hard to tell when she drunk or sober.

A few days had passed since her last sleepover and this morning was to be another day in hell… or heaven?

"Hey Neku!" she cried, stepping out of the bathroom.

I was cooking breakfast as usual and glanced over my shoulder only to catch the shocking yet familiar sight of her in her underwear. But as she sashayed into the kitchen, tousling her damp hair with a towel, it was obvious that she didn't care.

"Wh-What do you need, Eri?" I said as normally as I could manage.

Any guy would kill to have a beautiful girl walk around his home wearing nada apart from a bra and panties, but in this cosy little apartment that was home, this was nothing new. Eri's a bit of an exhibitionist. It's ironic, though, because she's taking a course in fashion where she designs clothes that are meant to be worn, and she just flings hers all over the darn place.

"Neku, if it's not too much trouble, can you accompany me to Shibu-Q Heads tomorrow?"

"Why are you going there?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Shiki and I have succeeded in cranking out a whole bunch of designs," she replied. "We're just going to buy some cloth and stuff to make them. I'm not a pro at sewing so it's up to Shiki to help out with that."

Even merely hearing the name of the love of my life could cause my heart to shudder just like it did now. I was awfully curious but nevertheless I pulled myself together. "Why do you need me to come along?"

"We need someone to help carry all the material back to Shiki's house. Two girls can't possibly carry everything."

The breath hitched in my throat, not because of the prospect of having to lug around oodles of cotton, but because if Eri's words were to be counted on, then Shiki would be there and I could meet her!

"That sounds like a lot of cloth," I said, masking my growing excitement.

"It is." She perched her hip against the kitchen table, with the towel draped over her head like a scarf. "So we need your help."

Shiki was going on this shopping trip. At last! I could finally talk to her. Later when everything was done, I would take the initiative to arrange a dinner with her at some restaurant. During dinner, we could work a way around our schedules and if all went well, I would be looking at more dates with her down the road. This was going to be the best opportunity ever, and I'd be darned if I were to let this go!

I said yes. "I'll help."

"Great!" She took her seat at the table, ready to chow down. "I'll meet you outside of Shibu-Q Heads at 10 am tomorrow, then once we've gotten everything, we'll take all those things back to Shiki's place."

This was great! I had one day to prepare what I wanted to say to Shiki. I would get everything right and there would be no turning back. _Shiki, here I come!_

But, in the meantime…

"Got it, Eri, but… on another note…"

"Hmmm?"

"Could you at least wear _something?_ It's kinda distracting."

"What? But I am wearing something."

"Underwear doesn't count," I grumbled. "Get dressed already!"

The twinkle in her narrowed eyes suggested that mischief would be afoot very soon. With a slow tigress-like drawl, she growled, "Hmmm… So underwear doesn't count, does it now?"

I gulped. I just knew something dreadful, something embarrassing would be around the corner. With her, this was almost a given. "What are you trying to pull now? ! Whatever it is, stop it."

She cocked her head to one side and lazily stroked her chin. "I'm just applying common logic to what you just said. I mean, if underwear isn't regarded as clothes like you so vehemently put it, then what you're saying is that I'm basically naked, even when I'm wearing underwear…"

"Um… and?"

"By that rationale, if I'm already naked, then whether or not I wear underwear or not doesn't really matter, does it? So I might as well take it off." To my horror, as she spoke, she turned her back to me, and now she was fiddling with the clasp of her bra. Such an indecent act, though an obviously playful one, scandalized me almost enough to blast the hair right out of my scalp… and I loved my hair.

"Hey! Wh-What're you doing? ! Are you nuts? !"

How thick her skin was to do stuff like this! She always teased me in this way… always! So it was only natural for me to fear that she might actually whip _that_ off. But I couldn't just grab her hands and stop her; it'd be like sexual harassment. Wait a minute… wasn't that what _she_ was doing? !

But she sure had a nice body… I couldn't deny that… And a girl like her stripping willingly in front of you wasn't something that happened every day. Striking the lottery was more common than this.

No! Focus! Think of Shiki!

I cried one more time, "Seriously, stop it, you idiot!"

She pretended to sound cross as she spoke over her shoulder, "Is that the proper way to talk to a girl?"

Eri wasn't a girl. With the way she behaved, she seemed more like a dirty old man. Girl, my foot! But I didn't want to incur her wrath today. And most importantly, I just wanted her to put on some damn clothes already. Looking at her in such a state of undress was like ogling, and it was killing both my pride and my conscience!

No choice but to suck it up. As I attempted to negotiate with her, I tried to minimize eye contact with that skimpy navy blue bra on her luscious toned back. But with an unfortunate overdose of hormones it was very very hard. I could turn my head away, but my eyes just followed and stayed locked on.

"Look, Eri," I coughed uneasily, "I'm sorry for that outburst. I'm sorry I called you an idiot. But I'm this close to having a nosebleed right now and you're not helping matters."

She cut in before I could finish. "A nosebleed? Then be thankful you're a normal guy. It'd be more worrying if you couldn't get one…"

"Argh… At least wear a shirt or something!"

Her fingers stayed stubbornly on the clasp, tweezing it but keeping it firmly locked. "Begging and kowtowing and offering to be my dog is nice and all, but – "

"Y-Your dog? !"

"– I'm not so cruel. If you say a nice little 'please', I may consider. On the other hand, watching you collapse in a pool of blood is pretty funny, so I don't know… What should I do…"

"PLEASE!"

"Don't shout like that. It's very… ungentlemanly. Try again."

"Please?"

"Hmmm… Not bad, I guess, but it still sounds insincere."

RRRGH! My blood was boiling and I was seething. This girl was playing me for a fool and she loved it! I wanted to toss her out the window and leave her out in the open in just her underwear. Then we'll see just how much she loves walking around half-naked!

Alas, that was merely a figment of my imagination and reality was still reality. I felt like and was a total idiot. And like the idiot that I was, I capitulated to her mischievous demands.

"Please."

She gave a satisfied huff of someone who's had enough fun for one day. "Hee hee… that'll do for now. Very well, I'll go get changed."

"Oh, thank god," I sighed, slumping onto the floor. "Please do so. Now. Ugh."

I felt like a pile of goo as I sat there on the floor tending to my dizzy spinning head. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that she was still at where she stood and had yet to go back to her bedroom to change. No chicken brains were needed to tell me she was standing there, all haughty and laughing and pleased with herself for turning me into a fool. "That's right, no one messes with Eri!" must have been the message she was trying to deliver to me. I was sure she wanted to tease me some more or something.

Nothing bad happened, however, which came as a pleasant surprise to me. All she did was say, in a very nice and normal manner, "Sorry, Neku, I can't help it. You're too cute when you're nervous. But regarding Shiki, just hang in there, okay? You just need to keep the pressure on, and she'll notice. And tomorrow's your best chance."

I noted the kindness in her words and nodded silently. She was right. All the nosebleed nonsense aside, I was surprised that she knew what I was thinking. Yes, I should be keeping the pressure on. Hounding Shiki day and night! Well, not really, of course…

"And when the day comes when you two are a couple," added Eri, "treat me to lunch as a reward, 'kay? I love free lunches."

This helped me to cheer up, though I still couldn't look at her out of embarrassment. "I guess that's fine with me…"

"Awesome! Now, how about a hug between friends to seal the deal? Yeah? And…"

"Hug? Eri, no, wai– !"

"…BEAR HUG!"

Too late. In a flash, she swooped down like a vulture, wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in for an extra-tight embrace. I might have been glad to return it on any day, but my face ended up squashed deeply into her bosom.

Soft and tender… My entire head was literally wrapped up in a little slice of heaven… I was more than ready to let loose with the nosebleed at this point but there was something more worrying I had to deal with first: I couldn't breathe! Any attempts to squirm my way out ended in failure. She must have thought I was being shy and averse to hugs so she decided to teach me a lesson: that hugs were good. So she hugged me even tighter, sealing my doom.

As I suffocated slowly and the blackness of certain death overwhelmed me, I could just about make out her squealing but muffled voice.

"You're too huggable for words, Neku! That's so cuuuute! …Huh? Neku? Are you alri– Huh… Y-You're dead? !"

Marshmallows are nice and all, but… I was allergic to them.

I had to remain strong! Tomorrow's shopping trip was going to be a blast, I was so sure of it! Shiki and I would be back to the awesome way we were before college!

But tomorrow would not go the way I had planned… No, not because Eri had killed me – I had merely fainted – but because of something else. And it wouldn't be pretty.


	3. Unexpected Revelation

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 3)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan**  
><strong>

Hair? Check.

Clothes? Check.

Vibrant personality? Hmmm, well… My charisma may not be exactly magnetic, but at least Shiki would like me, I hoped.

A third time going through my mental checklist of things to make sure I had, and I was finally ready to hit the road. Hello, new life with Shiki! Aloha, sweet romance in the air!

Yes, today was the day that I promised to help Shiki and Eri out with their shopping. Apparently they were on a lucky streak and ideas for their fashion design stuff were rolling off their heads non-stop and silky smooth like butter. But to turn their ideas into reality they'd need materials, and by materials they meant cloth. Lots of it. And that's what they were going to get today.

Shiki was a pro at sewing. She was the fiercest seamstress around, fierce as in amazingly-skilled, of course. I should know. She mended my pants in three minutes flat, but that's another story for another day. I blush whenever I think about it. So perhaps, in this case, fierce might mean aggressive as well…

I headed for Shibu-Q Heads early to wait for the girls, but Eri had already beaten me to it. She was standing around, fiddling with her cell phone lazily.

_There she is!_ I could recognize that unique outfit of hers anywhere. In a crowd of faceless pedestrians she would stand out like a pillar of light. That pretty face framed by strawberry hair and that oversized cap… and that crop top which flattered her waist… that ridiculously low-slung mini-skirt with the magical ability to cling onto her wonderful hips…

Wait! What was I doing fantasizing about her? The one I should be drooling over was – hang on, this wetness on my chin… was it saliva?

Impossible. It simply didn't make sense that I was salivating over this crazy chick! _Shiki, I'm so sorry. Again I've failed you…_

Eri's shrill voice snapped me out of my profuse mental apologies to Shiki. "Neku! Over here!"

I had to focus. Eri was a good friend, despite her many behavioral quirks, but my target was no one else but Shiki. Today, she would be mine!

"Hey, Eri."

"Man, you could use a little more oomph in that greeting." She snapped her cell phone lid closed and stuffed it in her skirt pocket. "Today's a lovely day! Full of opportunity! You should be happier about it!"

"Well, I _am_ happy."

"You're not smiling or anything," she said with a shrug. "Your mouth is looking so dull today. Widen it!" To drive her point home, she playfully took the corners of my mouth in her fingers and stretched them apart into a smile, but it only served to make me look like an alien from outer space.

I grabbed hold of her hands to stop her. "C-Cut it out, Eri. I'm fine! I'm – "

Then it suddenly occurred to me that I was holding her hands in both of mine. Wasn't this something that lovers often did? Hands were a delicate area, and you never touched another girl's hands or vice versa unless there was some form of romantic attraction between the two of you. And though it was accidental, the fact was, I just did that wth Eri.

"Whoa!" In a flash, I let go, leaving her momentarily confused.

"Is something wrong, Neku?" she asked, growing concerned. "You're growing red in the face."

"I-It's nothing! It's a hot day today, so I guess the heat was getting to me."

"Really? Are you sure you'll be okay? Let me feel your head."

And then the next thing she did – I couldn't believe it myself – was to touch her forehead against mine. Our faces were so close together and her warm breath was billowing against my face, soothing yet agonising. This was a common way to tell if someone had a fever, but if I didn't have one earlier, I definitely had one now!

Oh, and everyone turned to look our way.

"I'm totally fine!" I yelped. In my panic I swiftly backed my head away from her, only to have the back of my skull bash into the lamppost behind me. There was the dull resounding thunk of bone clashing with metal.

I wound up clutching my head in pain. Not a good way to start what should be a great day…

"Well, Neku, if you were fine before," said a wincing Eri, "you aren't now. Concussions aren't the best thing ever by a long shot."

"I'll be A-OK, Eri. I think."

"If you say so. Anyway, Shiki's gonna be a little late coming here, so we're gonna have to wait for her a bit. In the meantime, why don't you have some crepes?"

She held out her hand to me, in which there was a crepe, neatly wrapped and smelling good. And she had a smile on her face, not the kind of smile where she would tease me or whatever, but a real one peppered with warmth. I might have traded jibes with her on any other day but her kindness kept my sarcasm in check.

"Um, th-thanks…" I took it from her, secretly astounded by how thoughtful she was.

Seeing the nicer side of Eri – as opposed to the insane Mr Hyde I was often subject to – was refreshing. I couldn't understand anything of it, so I just thought, well, sometimes even crazy people have their nice days.

I didn't care much for crepes and she probably got this from the local fast-food restaurant, but for some reason it tasted… sweeter than normal. Not to mention better.

We sat side by side on the nearest bench, and Eri piped up, "Hey, hey, Neku. Are you still gonna chase Shiki?"

The redness rushed to my cheeks. "Um… chasing is a bit of a strong word, but yeah…"

She giggled. "Well then, lucky you. I'm feeling generous, so I'm going to give you some tips that I think you'll find useful. With these, you'll have a better chance of getting Shiki."

Her words sounded promising, but my guard was up. Was she going to end up wisecracking and making fun of me again? But when she began it was obvious she was being serious.

"For starters… girls like guys who have a sense of humour. Being funny is important, Neku, because it's one of the little things that determine if a girl thinks you're interesting enough for her."

I grunted. "That's going to be a bit of a problem then. I've never been great at humour."

"But you _are_ funny."

I looked at Eri in surprise. "You think I'm… funny? Seriously?"

"Absolutely!" she beamed, apparently supportively. Then the next words caused my heart to sink. "You're definitely funny, Neku… although that's because I'm laughing at you."

"Gee… thanks."

She chuckled and patted me on the shoulder to try and make me feel better. "I'm just kidding. But seriously, Neku, I gotta tell you something." Her face dropped just the tiniest bit to emphasize the seriousness of what she wanted to say. "People laughing _together with_ you and people laughing _at_ you are two different things. Girls don't find it cool if you always get laughed at."

I decided to switch gears and ask for another tip because humour wasn't my strongest point and never will. "Um, what else?"

"Being chivalrous is an age-old practice," she replied, "but it still works till this very day. Hold the door open for her, walk on the outside of the pavement… you get what I mean. Girls love those things." Then with a grin and a small chuckle she added, "I should know."

I didn't know why but my heart lurched for the briefest second there. Maybe it was because I was talking to a girl who was giving me advice on how to treat another girl the right way, and how said advice would work on herself too. Weird at best.

"You can be surprisingly nice at times," I said, poking fun at her.

"Hey, I'm always nice," she huffed. "Is it that strange for me to be nice? !"

The presence of a familiar figure caught our attention and brought our conversation to an end. There she was, in the thick of the crowd of milling pedestrians, head darting this way and that, looking for us. Shiki!

"Here she comes, Neku," whispered Eri. "Do your best, and good luck!"

"Thanks." I felt pretty good, and although the butterflies were growing by the dozens in my stomach, I tried to keep cool and confident. After all, this might be my only good chance.

Eri yelled her over, and she took notice. That smile on Shiki's face was so cute! I could take a photo of her and frame it on my living room wall and never tire of it.

"Eri! Neku!" called out Shiki. "There you are!"

I greeted, "Hey, Shiki."

I was about to say something cheery to her when she was suddenly joined by someone else. He materialized from the midst of the crowd and walked up to her side, and his appearance surprised and confused me.

The first thing about him that struck an impression in me was that he was taller than any of us. I was about the same height as Eri and Shiki, though slightly taller, and this guy beat me by at least another foot. He also had a firm build which I sorely lacked, and his handsome face was bespectacled, giving him an air that suggested that not only was he learned he was also accomplished in life.

Who was he? I would find out.

And when I did, the whole world came crashing down on me.

"Oh, hey," asked a curious Eri, gaze pointed at him, "who's this? Your friend?"

Shiki replied, "Ah, yeah! Well, actually, he's my boyfriend. His name is – "

Boyfriend? What? Shiki had a… boyfriend? ! What kind of sick joke was this? She was joking, right? She had to be. The girl of my dreams, hooked up with another guy? Impossible. I was so shattered that I wasn't listening and I didn't catch his name.

Eri's shock caused her speech to falter slightly. It was barely noticeable, but I could tell she understood how I was feeling. Nevertheless, she tried to act normal by shaking the hand of the guy, whom I shall dub The Boyfriend, and saying good-naturedly, "Oh! You're Shiki's boyfriend? Cool! Nice to meet you! How long have you guys been dating?"

"We just celebrated our three-month anniversary last week," answered Shiki, hooking her arm around his in a sickly affectionate manner. Three months… Three months and I didn't know about it… Wait, why didn't I know about it? !

Her next words provided the answer. "I figured we were going to buy lots of stuff today, so I thought I'd bring an extra helping hand. And at the same time, I thought I'd surprise you guys!"

"Th-This is a surprise alright," I mumbled a little too flatly.

The Boyfriend seemed to be a friendly, chatty sort. Right off the bat he joked, "You two look awfully close! How far have you gone?"

I spluttered like an old rotten motor. "You mean me and Eri? ! W-We haven't gone anywhere!"

Everyone laughed at my nervous reaction and blushing face, including the mirth-loving Eri. She probably joined in to keep the friendly atmosphere intact, but I sure was glad she didn't make things worse by playing along with him and pretending that she was going out with me and sharing the same showers.

…And then she had to say that.

"Oh, we just take the occasional shower together. Just kidding, of course, ha ha ha!"

Gah!

The ensuing laughter quickly got unbearable, but because I didn't want things to end up awkward, I laughed too, although I didn't laugh so much as forced myself to wring out noises from my mouth that I hoped sounded like a laugh. To the less observant person it would have seemed like one, but what came out of my throat was a rattle as lively as a dead snake.

"Well! All that aside," said Shiki, "I think it's time we got to buying stuff, eh?"

The four of us – myself, Eri, Shiki and The Boyfriend – entered Shibu-Q Heads in a single horizontal line. Shiki had engaged Eri in lively girl-talk which The Boyfriend, astonishingly, was able to follow and even add to, leaving me in the dust and not knowing what to say.

I felt six different kinds of terrible. And the worst part was, the shopping trip had only begun.

XOXOXOXOXO

The cloth that the girls bought came in an assortment of lively colours. This was cloth that Shiki was going to use to make all manner of clothes both dainty and daring… though I imagined that with Eri as the main designer, there might be more daring ones than dainty.

The hard labour was reserved for the guys – me and The Boyfriend. We were tasked with carrying all the stuff they bought, and there was a lot of it. Being a tough guy, he didn't feel too bothered at all by the weight, but I was barely capable of it no thanks to my weak and thin arms. People must have been amused by the sight of us standing side by side. One brawny guy standing tall and strong and confident, and a scrawny guy next to him, looking about ready to collapse. It was humiliating.

The Boyfriend was friendly and made small talk with me while the girls were busy being on their fashion "high". "Say, Neku, right?" he said. "What course are you doing?"

"Huh? Um…" Was he really meaning to ask, "How well-accomplished are you in life? I need to know if I'm better than you."

If he was better than me, and he probably was, then the least I could do was bend the truth as much as I could within acceptable limits, so I could at least appear to be on par with him. It wasn't the brightest idea in the world, but it was the only one I could think of to save face.

"Oh, I'm taking graphic design," I boasted. "I've always liked CAT's work, so I thought being in this course would help me achieve my dreams. I'm not exactly a pro in what I'm doing but the truth is my work has seen some of the highest scores in my college. Perhaps I'll have a chance at working with CAT someday." Well, that was as close as close got! Now we'd see what he had to say.

The smile that was always on his face grew wider, suggesting that he was impressed and he bought it. But when he next spoke, it was obvious that what I said about myself didn't matter to him one bit. In fact, it all seemed like his spoken curriculum vitae, and unfortunately for my battered soul, it was very impressive.

"That's awesome, Neku. As for me, I'm in my third year of fashion design. It's pretty funny how things worked out for me lately. On a whim about a year back, I submitted some of the designs I made to a bunch of companies like Pegaso and Dragon Couture, and next thing I knew, I'd been swamped with work offers left and right. I was even invited to last year's D+B Summer Collection fashion show, and boy was it a blast! But because I'm still taking my degree, I can't actually work with them just yet. However, Dragon Couture and D+B have promised me a permanent spot in their workforce so once I've graduated I can start work right away. Seriously, it's been crazy how good it's been for me!"

His superior achievements were far better than mine, and mine were mostly fake at that! I never felt so insignificant in my life. Even a speck of dust was leagues better than I was now.

And then he had to add, "Plus, you know, I'm so lucky to have met Shiki. There was a function that we happened to take part in some time back and we got to talking. Then the rest was history."

"Uh, yeah…" I mumbled. "Good stuff."

I felt like a fool! That wall next to me looked so nice to bang my head against but then everyone nearby would stare and point.

Just then Shiki scampered over to us, and those lovely brown eyes of hers crossed paths with mine for a second. She was looking at me?

"Hey, honey," she said. "Got a sec?"

Did she just call me… honey? As flustered as I was, I pulled myself together. "Wh – y-you talking to me?"

Shiki laughed, "Of course not, Neku! I'm referring to him. Good joke there though."

But I wasn't joking… I thought she… ah, heck.

She grabbed her boyfriend's hand and spoke something to him about wanting his opinion on what colour would be best for a skirt. What exactly she said I didn't hear; I was busy trying to patch together my bleeding heart, and bandages were in short supply. It was him whom she was calling honey. Of course it wouldn't be me…

I watched dolefully as she led him deeper into the shop. They looked like the perfect match for each other as they talked in excruciating detail about patterns and all that stuff I didn't get. From inside I caught sight of Eri smirking at me and stifling her laughter at my mistake.

"Oh, can it," I muttered inaudibly, looking away in deep embarrassment.

Throughout the entire shopping trip, I was the proverbial fish out of water. Everyone here was fashion-minded except me and no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't find a way to chip into their conversations. Well, what'd you expect from a guy who isn't even interested in fashion in the first place? I knew nothing. Zero.

Even if I had stuff I could say, I didn't think I would be able to say much because of how much Shiki was clinging onto her boyfriend. In my dreams I would imagine her clutching onto my arm and saying all kinds of romantic things to me with a wide smile on her face. Well, to an extent my dreams came true. But the person she was being lovey-dovey with wasn't me.

In fact, I began to feel disgusted by the way she would sneak in a feel on his arm or a grip on his hand whenever she thought Eri and I weren't looking. Man, I was so jealous I could eat nails!

The last straw came when we chanced upon the Nishimura Pharmacy, run by the famously beautiful pharmacist Dr Fumiko. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shiki whispering something into her boyfriend's ear. The way she was on tiptoes trying to match his height would have been cute any other day, but right now she looked downright silly. Jealousy had a way of painting everything in a blazing hue of green.

"Guys?" she said. "Could you wait for us a bit? We wouldn't be a minute."

"Um, sure," said Eri, nodding. "Go ahead."

The couple went inside the pharmacy and was out in double quick time. The first thing I noticed was their red faces. What did they buy in there that would get them all embarrassed?

Then I noticed something else. Hidden among The Boyfriend's bouquet of shopping bags was a small bag with the Nishimura Pharmacy logo emblazoned on it. No one would have seen it if they didn't look hard enough, but my eyes were sharp and keen like a hawk's. Even with the shape of the box jutting through the plastic, it was hard to tell what the contents were, but judging from the context of the situation I could more or less guess.

"What'd you guys buy in there?" asked Eri. She was probably as curious as I was, so extra kudos were in order for acting as innocently as she could.

The Boyfriend was fidgeting a little, and Shiki clutched her arm nervously. Her reply was a lame-sounding "Just some… vitamins and stuff."

Yeah right! What's so embarrassing about vitamin pills? ! Don't tell me they purchased condoms or something… It was the only thing that would make sense! Would Shiki actually… Would they actually…

This was too much for me. If I had known today would turn out this way, I wouldn't have come. And now that I knew, I had to get out.

"Guys, um, see," I muttered, "I'm awfully sorry for this, but I just remembered there was this important errand I had to do for my aunt. Like, ultra-important."

Eri turned to me with a quizzical look. "Huh?"

"An errand?" said Shiki. "But – "

I almost felt apologetic as I handed over my shopping bags to The Boyfriend, feeling a bit of childish happiness that now he had to handle double the load. But given his thick muscles, it probably wouldn't have affected him in any way.

Through my nose I lied. "I'm sorry, everyone. But my aunt, um… She asked me to deliver some important goods to her niece's son's cousin's brother's daughter's adopted elder sister. And I just remembered I have to go do it now; it's really urgent!"

There was a second or two's worth of silence, and the blank stares of all three of them hinted that they didn't believe a word I said. I knew very well that no one would believe me, but whatever. Anything to get myself out of there! I expected them to feel a bit miffed that I was shirking on my promised responsibilities to help them out.

However, Shiki's reaction was the total opposite of what I thought it would be. "Oh, really?" she said. "You mustn't keep your aunt waiting, then! We'll take care of things here, don't worry." The Boyfriend also politely gestured for me to get going on my "task".

No way… They actually believed my downright pitiful excuse for an, well, excuse? !

After a hasty goodbye, I scampered off. I thought I heard Eri calling out after me, but I paid her no heed. The atmosphere was getting more stifling that time when she suffocated me in her ample chest, so out I had to go. Mmm… ample chest.

Gah! Why did _that_ have to enter my mind just then? !

XOXOXOXOXO

Anyone would be a fool to believe I had an errand to run for my aunt's niece's son's… whatever. Shiki and her boyfriend were such fools!

I felt very bad. I could exaggerate on and on about how my heart was like it was being trampled underfoot by a herd of elephants, or how I would rather riddle and skewer my whole body with chopsticks than watch that idiot couple fawn over each other again. But thinking up of those descriptions would waste too much time that I'd rather spend on brooding over a cup of cheap instant noodles.

Now what do people do to temporarily forget about their troubles? They could play a sport and go all-out to vent their frustrations. They might adopt a quieter approach like meditation or weeping at the sunset. Failing that, they could try something really crazy like stick needles into voodoo dolls or smash plates against the wall. Or they could simply get plastered on beer like Eri often did.

Eri…

Man, why did I have to keep thinking about her… She wasn't even girlfriend material to begin with. Besides, it was Shiki who was…

Why did I have to think about her too? ! Previously my dreams of her would be all about happiness and cuddliness and moonlit walks in the park. Now all I could see in her were an endless torrent of nightmares. Rrrgh! It wasn't fair!

Over my anguish and despair, I spent too much time tearing my hair out that I forgot to eat. When I remembered about my noodles and checked them, I found that they had grown so fat and absorbed too much gravy that they were no longer appealing anymore. But I was hungry, so into my trap they went. Inwardly I was sobbing. Again, it was all so unfair…

Just then there was a knock on the door which startled me somewhat. Who could it be at this time of the evening?

My visitor turned out to be a certain pink-haired lunatic whose presence I had come to grow accustomed to by now.

"Geez, Neku," sighed Eri. "Running off like that… You had me worried, you know."

"Sorry," I muttered. Then I went back to the dining table and resumed slurping up fattened noodles half-heartedly. I just didn't have the heart to talk to anyone.

She helped herself inside and closed the front door behind her, then silently took the seat opposite mine. "You know, about earlier…"

I grumbled through my noodles, but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out, Neku."

A pause ensued, during which I was busy chewing my way through a mouthful of instant noodles… or perhaps instant _worms_ would be like it. I gulped the whole mess down my throat, then demanded, "Why didn't you tell me about it, Eri? Why didn't you tell me that Shiki's already got a boyfriend?"

"I honestly didn't know. She never talked about him, or even hinted that she was in a relationship. If I had known I'd have told you already. I guess she really wanted to surprise us both."

I groaned. If it was meant to be a surprise, it was a rude one.

"I know it seems like a small thing," she continued, "but what she and her boyfriend bought at the pharmacy really bothered me. What do you think it might be? You think it could be…?"

"How should I know."

The tense silence returned. God I hated these periods of tense silence. It was almost like if you dropped a pin it would create a sound as loud as a neutron bomb. And I didn't like the way this conversation was headed. I might have been okay with Eri any day, but right now I wanted to be alone.

"So what happens now?" she asked after a while. "With Shiki and her boyfriend the way they are, I don't think you've got a snowball's chance in hell. I mean, I didn't think she'd put out."

Her words were the brutal honest truth that I didn't want to face, so I hated that she had to say it. I lashed out in anger at her, "Gee, thanks! If you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything, will you? !"

Eri winced at my outburst and was stunned for a few seconds. Then, treading cautiously, she spoke, "S-Sorry… I was just trying to tell you the facts… You didn't have to, well, shout at me for it…"

There was a slight tremor as she talked, and I could tell she was afraid of offending me for fear of being yelled at again. In the snap of a finger I regretted what I had done. Eri had said or done nothing wrong. It was like she had said; she was just being practical and telling me the cold hard facts that I had to come to terms with sooner or later.

"No, Eri," I mumbled, ashamed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. It wasn't nice of me. But, you know, I'm just so frustrated right now…"

She chose not to talk for the next several minutes during which I just cut loose and complained about how nothing worked out for me.

"It's not fair," began my long tirade. "Shiki and I were the best of friends. We were so close. I know our college lives has made it difficult for us to stay in touch but I never thought it would get so bad she'd find someone else as a boyfriend.

"And now she's got someone to experience true love with. She's probably held hands with that brute, and hugged, and kissed… And now she's probably going to sleep with him and everything will be okay with them while I'm here stewing in loneliness and regret! You can dream and lust after someone all you want, but as long as they're taken, they'll never be yours. Argh, dammit!"

Eri bit her lip as she watched me take a deep ragged breath. She took the opportunity to jab in a word or two, but it was nothing smart. "You… lust after Shiki?"

"Why wouldn't I? !" I huffed, more exasperated than embarrassed. "She's the girl of my dreams! Or rather, she _was_…"

"You actually have wet dreams about her?" She covered her mouth with her hands and her cheeks turned beet-red with anticipation about my answer.

"Huh? W-Wet… No! What kind of monster do you think I am? !"

"So you're a pervert in disguise," she said, chuckling lightly. "Behind that spiky mane of yours lies a great big pervert!" In her mischief she even poked playfully at my forehead, leaving me to scowl at her.

"Look who's talking, Miss Amateur Stripper."

"Amateur… Stripper? !" Her fists were balled on the table and she had this fierce glare at me. My words had apparently taken her aback, but not in a way I'd have ever imagined. "How rude! I can do a pretty decent striptease, you know! And I'll prove it to you right now!"

"What? ! H-Hey, get down from the table!" I had to muster all of my strength to drag her down from the table and keep her from whipping her clothes off. A small part of me really wanted to see her do it, but… this wasn't the right time for something like this. Or rather, it wasn't appropriate at any time!

When things had settled nicely and she had calmed down enough to return to her seat, she said, "So, back to where we left off… you think about Shiki all the time, huh?"

"Of course I do. But it's no use. I'll never get close to her now…"

"Hmmm…"

"Man…! Everyone's tasted love at least once in their lives, so why can't I? I want to be able to hold hands with the one I love, and go on dates, and have my first kiss… It just sucks I haven't been able to do any of those things."

My downcast eyes hovered around a blank spot on the table. I had practically emptied my entire stock of troubles onto Eri, and I was sure it would be tiring to her to have to listen to more of my pitiful droning, so I stopped and let the quietness of the apartment take over.

"Neku," she said, "you have never held hands before, or went on a single date? Basically you're saying you've never done anything romantic before?"

"Never. Why?"

She slapped her knee and couldn't suppress a short little laugh. "No way! Not even a quick playful peck on the cheek under the mistletoe during Christmas?"

I had one last good nerve left and her sniggering was getting on it dangerously. "It's not funny! It's not my fault that I happen to be so unlucky in love!"

"Ahaha… Sorry, sorry. I'm just messin'." The gall of this girl, laughing at my plight!

For a few moments she sat there with that half-smirk on her lips. Then she abruptly rose from her chair and slapped her hands on the table, startling me. If I had been eating then, I'd have choked to death for sure.

"Alright!" she cried. "It's settled!"

"Wh-What's settled? Um, E-Eri? !"

She leaned in close, an inch between our faces, and simply looked at me with intense eyes. Gosh, I didn't notice it before, but her eyes were very pretty… I felt the blood blotching into my cheeks as she gazed at me from point-blank range.

"Neku, you want to know what it's like to go on a date and stuff, right?"

"Uh… yeah. Wh-Why?"

Much to my relief she pulled her face away. "Well, we can't have you feeling all sad forever. So get up on your feet!"

"Wait, whoa, wait!" What was she grabbing onto my arm and pulling for? Had she grown a sudden desire to yank my shoulder out of its socket? Her efforts were so persistent that I had little choice but to pry my butt off of my chair and stand up. But still she didn't stop pulling.

"Come on, off we go. Chop chop!"

"Eri, what are you doing? Where are you trying to kidnap me to this time?"

"It's perfectly normal to be sad," she said, ignoring my questions, "but it's not any fun now, is it? That's why, to help you feel a little better about yourself, you and li'l ol me are going on a little something called a date."

"Wh-What? ! A date? !"

"Just what it sounds like. If you want to know what it's like to go on one, I'll gladly help you find out. So, ready for some fun?"

Eri sure had a weird sense of logic. You were supposed to have dates with someone you loved, and she wasn't it. But… why wouldn't my heart stop thumping?


	4. Pretend Date Hijinks, Part 1

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 4)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

The best word to sum up today's events would be crazy.

I'd been subject to physical and emotional strain that would have crushed lesser men. Carrying bundles of heavy cloth made up my physical burden. The emotional torture came from knowing that Shiki had a boyfriend and that they had been going out for at least three months without me knowing about it. And to sweeten the deal, I even had to put up with them being lovey-dovey and all over each other. Sickening to say the least.

Now, to add even more weirdness to an already peculiar day, my gal pal Eri had apparently felt sorry for me so she took the liberty of taking me out for what she called a date.

Of course when she said the word "date", the first thing that came to mind was both of us doing things like relaxing at a park bench at night and holding hands, only to doze off peacefully leaning our heads against each other. I knew Eri wasn't my romantic interest by a long shot but it was still a tantalizing image that I couldn't get out of my head.

But that was it: Eri wasn't my dream girl, so no matter how romantic it was, it would seem as right as pairing a duck with a beaver. We hardly matched each other, and if we were ever together we would make the oddest couple since, so to speak, my friend Beat and a bowl of curry.

Still, I was curious to know what she was up to, so I went along…

"So, Eri," I said, "remind me again where we're going?" I had rushed out of the house with her, not knowing what was in store for me, and now we were on the bus heading to goodness-knows-where. She could spirit me away to some far-off rural place and leave me to starve on a deserted mountain and no one would be the wiser.

"Sorry, can't tell you," she chuckled. "Dates that have the element of surprise are the riskiest to attempt, but when they work, they can work really well."

"If by date you mean shopping trip where I'm going to have to carry your things, then I must politely decline."

"I wouldn't do such a thing, I promise," she laughed. "I mean, you just don't do that during a date! And if ever I break that promise and turn our friendship into a twisted slave-and-master thing, then on those times when I come over to crash at your place for the night, you can bar me from setting foot in your house."

I deadpanned, "I think I'll enjoy that."

"Geez!" she huffed, puffing up one cheek in mock annoyance. "Play along, will ya?"

"Why are we going out anyway? Don't you already have a boyfriend?"

Her fingers were tweezing and playing around with a lock of her pink hair. "Okay, first things first, Neku: we're not going out. And yes, I have a boyfriend. But I can't stand seeing you all depressed like the world's ending, so I thought by having some fun together I could cheer you up."

I almost didn't believe it. Eri would go out of her way just to lift my battered spirits? Perhaps she valued me as a friend much more than I thought. Somewhere inside me I was touched by her actions. There was certainly more to her than just being a lunatic, I guess.

Then I just remembered something. It got the hair at the back of my neck standing on end and I made sure she knew. "Your boyfriend will murder me if he sees me with you, Eri."

But she just grinned and said nonchalantly, "Oh, Neku! You're so paranoid. My sweetie is as gentle as a lamb! Sure, he might get a little ruffled, but he wouldn't do something like break your bones or knock out your teeth. I mean, that'd be just _barbaric_, right? !" And she gave a hearty little laugh and a slap to my back that did little to ease my worries. If anything, her words just made me feel a lot worse. Maybe I should go into hiding…

A scant few minutes had passed and we alighted in front of a… cinema? Hmmm, so we were going to watch a movie, eh? Typical date stuff…

…except I didn't like horror flicks.

"Is this your idea of a date?" I sighed. "Watching 'The Haunted Village'? Why can't we watch something more… normal?"

"There's nothing like a good scare, Neku!" squealed an excited Eri. "And good scares are meant to be shared, so what better time to share those chills up the spine with another person than on a date? Besides, the film is said to have this really hot shower scene, so I took your perverted nature into account and chose this. See? That's how nice and thoughtful I am."

I seethed, "I'm not a total sleazebag like you put it!"

She just giggled mischievously. Then, in a totally unexpected move, she looped her arm around mine, causing me to flinch a little in surprise. No girl had ever done this to me before, and the very action was making me blush.

"Come on!" she said, grinning and pulling me along. "What're we waiting for? It'll be a blast."

As we waited in line for our tickets, I became aware of the people staring at us. I thought at first that they were disgusted by what they thought was an overt display of affection between the two of us. But when I heard bits and pieces of their conversations, it occurred to me that they were simply awestruck by Eri's beauty… and that they were mighty jealous that an "unworthy twerp" like me could be so "damn lucky" to be with her. Gee, thanks, people.

I took a furtive sideways glance at Eri, and the way she was looking so chipper made her look even prettier than she already was. Being in such close proximity to her allowed me to take a quick whiff at the perfume she was wearing. Hmmm… vanilla had a nice flavour… exquisite and addictive… must… smell… more…

"Um, Neku?" squeaked Eri.

"Huh? What is it?"

She was red-faced and fidgeting uncomfortably. "C-Could you stop sniffing me? I know we're on a date, but… you're not a dog."

Uh-oh. I had gotten too physically close to her in trying to take in more of that beautiful aroma of hers. Everyone was staring and possibly thinking I was some weirdo. Whoops!

"S-Sorry," I gulped. "My… My bad. D-Don't mind me. My common sense just took a temporary nosedive. It happens."

"Um, yeah… I figured as much."

We spent the next few minutes in awkward silence, with her occasionally looking at me in a suspicious way, until we finally vanished in the darkness of the theater.

XOXOXOXOXO

"_Is it gone?" asked the girl anxiously. "We need to get to the bell tower to activate the sirens!"_

_The boy, young for his age at fifteen, was as frightened as she was. Huddled together with her in the abandoned hut he tried to act brave, but the unearthly presence of the vengeful ghost could be felt everywhere. Alone in each other's company with limited supplies, they never felt more hopeless in their lives._

_He mustered all his courage to take a peek through the rotten slats of the window. All he saw was the village, enshrouded in fog, with only the moonlight shining from above. Otherwise, the entire place was deserted._

"_I… I think it should be safe," whispered the boy, turning to look at the girl._

_When he turned his attention back to the window just to be sure, he couldn't have been more wrong about his earlier words._

_Suddenly, a shadow appeared outside the window, right before their eyes. The badly deteriorated face of the ghost hung upside-down, its empty eye sockets squirming with maggots. And it was staring straight at them!_

_They screamed._

"GAH!"

"Shhh!" hissed an annoyed Eri, slapping me lightly on the arm. "Quiet!"

"B-But I couldn't help it," I whispered back, shielding my eyes with trembling fingers. "It's too much! This movie is too scary!"

The other movie patrons were probably fed up to the teeth with my involuntary screams by now, but 'The Haunted Village' was simply too frightening for words. If it was a campy zombie film I might enjoy it. But Eri had a penchant for the strange and, apparently, for the macabre as well, and that was why we were watching this. I could tell the chills were giving her thrills as well, but it wasn't the case for poor old me.

"Geez, it's fine to be scared," huffed Eri, "but that doesn't mean you can yell the whole place down! Can we not have one more scream out of you for the rest of the movie, Neku? Please?"

My hands were gripping the armrests so hard they could disintegrate into dust. "I'll… I'll try."

Following the obligatory chase sequence by the angry ghost, the film cut to a relatively calmer scene where it was daylight and our two hapless protagonists managed to survive (that's the boy and girl in the movie, not me and Eri). The moment that had allegedly gotten the media in a buzz had finally arrived and it was the much-ballyhooed steamy shower scene. And of course to sensationalize things further, it had to be the girl who was taking the bath.

As a normal guy, I naturally grew a little excited with the anticipation of some nice flashes of skin. There was a little pang of guilt and a part of me was saying that I shouldn't be looking at things like this, but whatever reservations I had melted away when the… um… uh… Wow… no actual nudity here… The steam obscured her body in a very tasteful way… Very… interesting…

Then the camera got a good clear shot of her face. It never crossed my mind before, but upon closer inspection, the girl looked a great deal like Eri.

The resemblance was uncanny. The high cheekbones, that fair skin, and that smoky bedroom gaze. The girl turned to the camera, and for the briefest second, her eyes met with the audience. In my fuzzy head I imagined it was Eri who was beckoning me with that come-hither look. I shuddered.

Come to think of it, Eri was a regular presence at my home, and as such, she often showered at my place too. Maybe… this was how she took her baths… first the neck, then the shoulders, then moving down to…

Argh, stop! I didn't know how many times I had to shake my head to clear it, but it was enough to jiggle my brain stupid. Why… Why did I have to think about Eri like this… Why did –

"Neku," whispered Eri, "what's wrong?"

"Whoa!" It just burst from my mouth. Eri had to shush me up urgently.

"Wh-What's with that outburst? !"

"I-It's because you're naked and in the shower!"

"Huh? !" Her eyebrows were knitted in confusion.

"Um… oh, shoot. N-Never mind! Ahaha!"

Eri shot me a weird look before shrugging and returning to the movie. I dug into my seat as far as I could go, so mortified was I. Remind me not to mix up reality with fantasy again!

My trials weren't over yet. Something was creeping into my personal space… I thought at first that it was the ghost from the movie coming to haunt me, but it turned out to be Eri's hand, reaching out slowly for mine. I could have gasped then, but fear of being reprimanded kept me silent. I knew couples often held hands during movies, but was she seriously going to do this to me? !

I watched her hand creep further. The closer her hand approached mine the harder my heart thumped. Was she really going to hold hands with me, even when she was fully aware that she had a boyfriend? I didn't know what to think. Or rather, there was so much to think about that I didn't know which thought was right. The cacophony inside my head was a giant jumbled chunk of nonsense that went something like this:

Even though Eri and I were on a pretend date, it might be nice to know what it feels like to touch a girl's hand. However, my feelings for Shiki, while slowly dwindling, were still swimming about in my heart, so it was confusing. What exactly should I feel? And of course there was the matter of whether Eri's boyfriend might be watching us, and if he did, I would be a goner. She had reassured me that he wouldn't break any of my bones or teeth, but she never said he wouldn't wring out my intestines and wrap them round my neck like a garland, right? Such a gruesome death might turn me into a vengeful ghost like the one in 'The Haunted Village'. And the last thing I wanted was to spend my life – er, death? – hunting down scantily-clad teenagers and scaring the heck out of them by hanging upside-down in front of a window with a fistful of worms in my eyes! The horror! And then –

Oh god! She was getting dangerously close! I braced myself for the feeling of her hand on mine… and whatever terrible fate would await me afterwards.

But she didn't touch it. Instead she was reaching for the tub of popcorn on my lap. She rummaged for a fistful of kernels and popped them into her mouth.

I could only stare at her blankly. Whether it was in confusion or disappointment because I expected something good to happen out of it… I didn't know. I just stared. And she quickly noticed.

Another weird look from her. "Wh-What?"

"Um, n-nothing!"

"You're creepy, Neku. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought you were a ghost yourself."

"S-Sorry…"

Darn it… This was getting out of control.

At least keeping myself busy with all those thoughts in my head lessened the brunt of the fright caused by the ghost appearing behind the girl right in the shower.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Save for the odd scream or two from you," quipped Eri, "I'd say that was one heck of a fantastic movie!"

"Uh… well… good for you…"

The movie had reached its bone-chilling conclusion (in the end, the ghost always wins), and all the moviegoers were trooping out of the cinema, going their separate ways. Eri was as lively as any other day, but the film had scared me so much that I almost looked like a phantom myself. And yet the film was one thing. Having Eri hovering around in my thoughts was another, and frankly, that might be the greater issue of the two.

Why in the world was I constantly thinking about someone I knew I wasn't interested in?

She nudged me in the ribs to get my attention, but it caused me to recoil comically. "Ow!"

"Ow indeed," she chuckled, liking my reaction. "Ow indeed."

"Don't do that!"

"Hey, I could use a drink, maybe an ice cream. And since the movie must have dehydrated you to the max, how about we go for sundaes at the family restaurant down the street?"

At the nearest ice cream parlor, over a banana split for her and a regular chocolate sundae for me, we took our time to discuss 'The Haunted Village'.

"I loved the part where the girl was exploring the hidden cellar," giggled Eri in morbid glee. "You could feel the tension oozing out of the screen as she was walking over all those dead bodies! Neku, which part was your favourite?"

"When I left the cinema."

"Psh! You just can't appreciate a good horror flick." She swiped a wad of ice cream into her mouth. "You're missing out on a lot!"

"If it'll give me nightmares later, I don't mind missing out."

"You're no fun…"

The whole time she was talking, she seemed to be making quite a few glances at my ice cream bowl. I didn't think much of it until, without warning, she jabbed her spoon into my sundae, robbed me of one precious spoonful, and shoved it into her mouth. She closed her eyes and moaned in delight at the flavour, "Mmm…! God! Chocolate is _sooo_ yummy!"

"Wh-What are you doing? !" I snapped.

"Huh?"

"Don't 'huh' me! Why'd you take from my ice cream with your own spoon? !"

This caused Eri to pause and stare at me blankly for a second before replying, "Your ice cream looked delicious, so I just wanted to take a small bite…"

"But it's unhygienic! You don't touch another person's food with your own spoon and stuff!"

"Oh, my bad…" It seemed like she understood, but I was wrong. "It's mean of me to steal from you, so… here." She hastily scooped a generous spoonful of ice cream from her banana split and extended it towards me. "This is to pay you back for what I took. Now, say 'Ahhh'."

I recoiled in my seat, growing steadily redder. "Just what sort of devilry are you up to this time? !"

She sighed in slight annoyance. "What do you mean, 'this time'? Look, there's gotta be a healthy mix of give and take in this world. That's how life works. So to make up for what I did, I'm happy to part with a little of my own ice cream."

"Are you expecting me to eat from _your_ spoon? !"

"What's so weird about it?"

"Everything!" Lack of hygiene was one thing, but the bigger picture, which she failed to see, was that feeding someone like this was strictly reserved for couples in a very loving relationship. Plus, it simply was too embarrassing!

Our little 'dispute' gradually became known to the rest of the patrons in the parlor, and though they must have done their best to ignore us, I could feel their sideways glances. The blush on my face was hot enough to melt the ice cream in my bowl. Eri, however, neither minded nor cared. She had an amazing immunity to embarrassment.

"Come on!" grumbled Eri impatiently. "Trust me, the banana split is heavenly! Besides, one bite wouldn't hurt. There's no way you'll catch a lifetime of colds from something as harmless as this."

This was getting seriously unbearable. Yet there was no way to break myself out of this situation, because Eri was a stubborn girl. She wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted. I couldn't run away, because she wasn't the type to look to the skies if I were to point upwards shouting "Look! It's a flying elephant!" No matter which way I sliced it, escape was impossible. I had to grin and bear this ordeal.

Defeated, I sighed, "Got it…"

That wide sunny smile of hers returned. "Good! Now, Neku, say 'Ahhh'."

I pried my jaws ajar. "Urk…"

She only 'tched' and frowned at me. "You have to say 'Ahhh', not that weird squawk!"

Fine. I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped for the best. "Ahhh."

The world was pitch black all around me but through my closed eyelids I could almost see her spoon approaching at a snail's pace. My only thought was for her to get the whole thing over with already. As soon as cold metal touched my tongue, I hastily closed my lips around the spoon, and the sweet aroma of her banana split filled me up. The moment the spoon slipped out of my mouth, I felt a little more relieved. Finally it was over.

"Well?" cooed Eri. "How was it? Bananas sure are the bomb, huh?"

I didn't know where to look, though I had to admit it was my first time tasting a banana split, and it was great in more ways than one.

"…It's good."

She just chuckled. Dammit, I knew she was enjoying this! Making a complete fool out of me and – wait, she just scooped up another dollop of ice cream from her bowl and shoved the thing in my direction.

"Wh-What is it now? !" I gulped. "You just fed me, you know! That's more than enough!"

"Well, I did say there's got to be give and take," she shrugged, "but in some instances, it's not so simple. You know how you have to pay interest when you borrow from the bank? Life works like that too. So right now, I'm paying interest."

"Y-Your logic makes little sense."

"Whatever." She poked her spoon in my direction. "Now say 'Ahhh'."

I had little choice but to give in again. Oh god. Was this heaven… or was it hell?


	5. Pretend Date Hijinks, Part 2

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 5)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

The steam was still billowing from the top of my head as we left the ice cream parlor. Eri had spoon-fed me a cringe-worthy total of four times, and the whole experience had left me in a daze. It was all I could do to walk straight.

She didn't seem bothered in the very least though.

"That was refreshing!" she sighed contentedly. "Nothing beats a good bowl of ice cream. The light yet rich taste rolling around on your tongue, and the freezing feeling down the throat… It's something I wouldn't tire of anytime soon!"

"C-Can I go home now?"

She frowned at my attitude. "Not until this date is over. Geez, Neku, here I am trying to help you feel better and this is how you thank me?"

"I appreciate the effort, but the delivery needs work."

Her retort stopped dead in her throat when she spied something out of the corner of her eye. When she turned to look, her face lit up like she just had a fantastic idea, or at least what she thought was a fantastic idea, but for me it felt like another one of those moments where I go "Now what? !"

"Ooh, look, Neku!" she squealed. "That shop over there!"

Completely disinterested, I let out a low groan. "What about it?"

"It's a ladies' boutique that opened up not too long ago. I'm itching to see what clothes they've got on sale. Oh my goodness! 40% off everything? ! That's what I want! Neku, we simply _have_ to get in there."

Hearing this set alarm bells ringing in my head. After all, a combination of Eri and a hip clothing store was a recipe for an afternoon of non-stop no-holds-barred shopping, and I was tired of being a valet to carry her bags!

"Hey, wait just a darn second!" I snapped. "I thought you'd promised not to go shopping during this date!"

"B-B-But my excitement level is rising! And if I don't check it out now, I could just explode!" Judging by the way she was shaking, she might very well do just that. She was going to become the end of the world, but not if I could help it.

"Come on, Eri." I grabbed her by the arm and started dragging her in the opposite direction. "Not today."

"Wait!" she protested. "You can't do this to me! You're cutting off my very lifeblood!"

"Look, I just don't want to be buried in shopping bags all over again. We're not doing this!"

"Huh, so that's it?"

I frowned at her half in confusion and half in annoyance. "What do you mean?"

She freed herself from my hand and paused for a moment to think. Was she pondering over how to blackmail me into doing her bidding? Whatever it was, it wouldn't work this time! But when she next spoke she had a surprisingly agreeable proposal for me.

"Well, how about this?" she offered. "If I promise not to buy anything today, will you let me visit that shop? At the very least, I want to have a look-see. I'm sure that's fine with you, right?"

That caused me to stop and think too. It sounded like a good deal, but only when Eri didn't have her dirty tricks up her sleeve, and she had them by the basketful. With her there was no such thing as being overly cautious. In fact it was probably a requirement. Still, if I didn't need to lug around a whole bunch of bags…

"If you really mean your word, Eri, then fine. I'll let you go and take a look. I'll even accompany you."

"Super!" Her wide grin was one of joy and relief. "I knew you were nice!"

"Let's just get the whole thing over with already."

"You really are a party pooper, Neku," she sighed. But it didn't dampen her spirits in the very least. She was still in a dangerously sunny mood, and I didn't have any sunglasses with me.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Is this the place?" I asked her.

"Yup," she replied. "Sure is." Her eyes were darting everywhere in a maniacal manner.

The boutique was like any other that I had seen so far. Same range of clothing, same window displays, same mannequins and the same courteous salespersons. There was nothing that set it apart from the rest, and if I wasn't told by Eri that it had just recently opened up, I would have thought it had been here for years. I guess that's the most important difference between someone who cares about fashion and someone who doesn't.

The second most important difference is that a fashion-minded person would most likely respond to the presence of a boutique in a rabid, barely-controlled manner that a fashion-indifferent person wouldn't.

Eri certainly was acting rabid now.

"Stop it, will you?" I chided her quietly. "You're panting like a dog!"

"I… I can't help it… So many… to choose from… So many…"

"Gimme a break…"

With a shaking hand and glassy eyes she called the nearest salesgirl over. Then she almost gave me a heart attack by saying, "E-Excuse me, miss… I… I'd like all of these, please!"

I had to flick Eri in the forehead to wake her up. "Snap out of it!"

Now that she was forced back to normal, I politely shooed the confused salesgirl away and we went back to our original plan of window shopping. Eri looked disappointed but she had a promise to keep, and I was going to make sure she did.

The wide range of clothing on sale made Eri as jumpy and excited as a flea on crack. I watched her dart from shelf to shelf examining everything. Nothing escaped her sharp eyes – jeans, skirts, blouses… Something about clothes gave her a natural high, and all the while there was a constant smile on her face. It almost looked cute how she was squealing. I reasoned that if I couldn't make Shiki happy like this, then, well, I could bridge that empty hole in my heart by letting Eri be happy.

She swiped three pieces seemingly at random and said, "Neku, could you wait a bit? I'm going to try some of them out."

My stomach sank to the bottom of my shoes. "What? But why? I thought we're here to just look around. And I know you're just going to take forever."

"You made me promise not to buy anything, but that doesn't mean I can't test out these clothes."

"Are you some kind of addict or something? !"

"A deal may be a deal," she chuckled, "but when there are loopholes to exploit, then I'll be sure to use them well."

I groaned but let her do as she pleased. She had won this argument fair and square. As she popped into the nearest fitting room I could foresee a long time spent waiting for her to be finally satisfied. Was there no way to escape from her clutches?

A minute or two passed, and I was still bored. There was nothing interesting in the men's section, but then what would a fashion-illiterate guy like me know anyway. Then as if out of mercy, the fitting room door popped open and out stepped Eri. In a pair of hot pants and a tube top. An ensemble more shocking and revealing than even her usual outfit.

I didn't know where to look. What she was wearing left so little to the imagination, and she was in public!

"Neku," she said, striking an overly ostentatious pose, "what do you think?"

"Uh… It looks fine on you." Why did she have to wear that? ! People were staring, and while I was getting embarrassed for her, I was mostly embarrassed for myself. And why didn't she mind? ! Because… oh, wait. Because she's crazy, that's why.

She didn't take my canned response very well. "You're not even looking!"

"If you cover yourself up a little more, I might actually take a gander. But half a shirt and 10% of a pair of trousers doesn't count as decent."

"It's summer wear!" she protested. "_Summer!_ How can I afford to wear T-shirts and baggy pants like you do? ! The heat will get to me real quick in stuff like that and I'll get all sweaty and icky. There's nothing worse than damp clothes sticking to the skin! It's gross!"

"Calm yourself," I deadpanned, "and coolness will follow."

"_You_ calm yourself, blockhead!"

She zipped back into the fitting room, seemingly annoyed. In five seconds flat she was back out in slightly more agreeable attire. So slightly, it was almost indiscernible. The look on her face suggested that I should give her a better opinion this time, but whether that could happen or not I would have to see. Knowing her, it probably wouldn't happen.

I gave her the head-to-toe, but was dismayed that she was just as liberal with the skin-baring as before. But at the same time, a small part of me was enjoying the sight. Even before this when I was still dreaming about Shiki, it was something of a guilty pleasure of mine to be able to see Eri wearing so little so often, be it at home or otherwise. And you couldn't really blame me; I was a healthy young guy. If a girl was standing around in tight leather jeans and a bustier top that left her back naked save for flimsy criss-cross support strings… then of course I'd be tempted to look. Like now. Because that was what she was wearing.

"Try calming yourself after this," she snickered. She turned around to show off the detail of the strings at the back. My stomach flipped and my brain flipped and everything inside me flipped.

"I'm calm. Really, I am."

"You've got a nosebleed." Her laughter had an edge of victory.

One of the salesgirls, taking pity on me, offered some tissues which I gratefully took and jammed up my nostrils. I sounded like an elephant. "I said I'm A-OK!"

"Denying the truth when it's so obvious? That's cute, Neku."

"Ngh… quit it, man…"

"Well, bloody noses aside," she coughed, now a little calmer, "there are about five more pieces here that I want you to see me in. I just need your opinion, you know? Helps me to brainstorm more ideas for my fashion design thing."

"I don't think I've got a choice," I groaned.

"And if you need to let loose with your nosebleeds, by all means, please do! That's a good indication I've found a winner!"

"A-Are you making fun of me? !" But once again she just laughed my irritation off.

"You'll like this next one. It's a real killer and it's the latest from – " Her sentence came to an abrupt end. Her eyes were staring beyond me and she looked like she had spotted something either very good or very bad. In this case, it was very, very ugly.

"Eri?"

"Shoot!" she gasped. "It's him!"

Whenever a girl in Shibuya goes "It's him!" she is usually referring to The Prince. But the flamboyant J-Pop singer with an attitude and a liking for cowboy boots was nowhere to be seen. All there was to see was a mass of shoppers who looked alike.

"Who?" I shrugged. "Who is it?"

"I've got to hide," she gulped, diving back into the fitting room for god-knows-what-reason. …Hang on. Why did she grab my wrist? I barely had time to think before she yanked me into the room with her. It knocked the breath out of me as my entire body sailed inside.

"Eri! What're you – mmph? !"

"Quiet!" she hissed, clapping my mouth shut in one hand. With her free hand she reached around me, closed the door and locked it, trapping the two of us in like a casket lid.

The horror! A guy and a girl stuck together in a confined place such as this… This wasn't supposed to be like some outlandish setting in a badly directed R-rated film! What was wrong with Eri? ! Did she suddenly have this mad desire to do "things" in public? ! She was never one for modesty, but this was ridiculous! I still had a long life ahead of me and I'd be darned if I would be caught by the police and thrown in jail!

My efforts to struggle away and escape to freedom were great but useless. I couldn't budge. I couldn't even talk with her hand clamped over my mouth. And when I mumbled to get her to take that offending hand away, she only grew irritated and pressed me against the door.

"Quiet," she repeated. There was a sense of urgency in her voice that, despite the craziness of this situation, I simply couldn't ignore. And so I eventually stopped squirming and went silent.

A few tense moments went by. Her eyes were looking to the side, as though listening out for anything strange. Then she finally spoke and removed her hand.

"Sorry about this, Neku," she whispered, looking genuinely apologetic for a change. "But I didn't have a choice. I saw him…"

"Who's 'him'?" I asked.

Her face twitched a bit in guilt. "My… My boyfriend."

I groaned. "I knew it was a bad idea going out on a pretend date. Why did you want to do this when you've already got a boyfriend?"

"What's so weird about a pretend date between friends?"

"That's just it. It's weird no matter how you slice it. It just isn't the kind of thing that would even cross your mind when you're hooked up with someone. For example, if I've got a girlfriend, I wouldn't hang out with another girl, like just the two of us. It'll just create lots of misunderstandings and senseless arguments and our relationship would go down the drain."

"But I can't just sit idly by watching you brood and get all depressed over Shiki. You're my treasured friend… I just want to help you get over it and feel better, that's all."

My heart skipped a beat upon hearing that. We were close pals by now, but I never knew she cared about me like this. Her next words, however, deadened the impact of what I otherwise felt was a more thoughtful and agreeable side of her.

"Besides, Neku, I was scared you might kill yourself pining over Shiki. Maybe stuff your head in the oven or something."

"H-Hey, I'm not so weak, you know."

"Can't hurt to be careful," she giggled softly.

"Another thing. Eri, how long do we have to stay like this?"

"Until I'm sure it's safe. My boyfriend is still lurking out there, you know. I can sense that formidable aura of his… Or maybe it's his cologne I'm picking up. Either way he's there."

"So we'll be here for a little while… but in the meantime, could you at least give me some, um, breathing space? It's tight in here!"

"Even if you say that," countered Eri, "I don't exactly have a lot of elbow room myself. Just grin and bear it."

So easy for her to say! The fitting room was small and meant for only one person, so with the two of us it felt like the inside of a can of anchovies. Eri was clinging onto me and her body was snugly pressed against my frame. Her ivory fingertips were resting on my arms and the just the mere touch was giving me goosebumps. Yet this couldn't hold a candle to the feeling of her breasts on my chest. She wasn't hugely disproportionate, but she wasn't… well, small either. And they were nice and firm; let's just leave it at that. The sensation was enough to launch me into outer space.

And because the mirror was behind her, I could see her back in all its fantastic almost-naked glory. Who'd have thought strings could be so kinky?

I could just explode. One more spark on my fuse and I'd be a living fireworks display.

But the worst (best?) was yet to come.

"Oh no!" she gasped. "I just remembered! I have to set my phone to silent mode in case he calls me! If he hears my ringtone from inside this fitting room and comes over to investigate, we're done for."

"Y-You're right. Even I can pick out your _Cheese My Boring Plover_ from amidst a crowd."

"It's _She's My Four-Leaf Clover_, you dolt!" she snarled. "And it's The Prince's number one hit song right now, so don't you forget it! You dare to desecrate it one more time and you'll pay dearly."

"…You fangirls are crazy."

Eri would have pinched the heck out of me any other day, but I would cry out in pain and give us away, so she didn't this time.

Onto more important matters, though: she still had to fix that phone. She was trying to reach for the pocket of her leather jeans, but the confines of the fitting room made it hard to maneuver about. And so she had to wiggle this way and that to try and get a hold of her phone before potential disaster struck. But…

"Eri!" I squeaked. "Wh-What're you doing? !" Her breasts dug deeper into my chest and you could imagine the effect it had on me.

"I-I'm sorry," she panted. "I placed my phone into these jeans to see if the pockets were deep enough, but now I can't seem to get at it…!" She doubled her efforts, but her squirming made her look like one of those exotic dancers slinking around a pole. And I was that pole. Every little touch felt like electricity through my nerves.

At last she gave up, and all was still. My systems were fried so much I swore I could hear the sound of my own hormones blazing throughout my body.

"It's no use," she said with a huff. Then the stupidest idea popped by her brain for a visit. "Wait, Neku… You've got a free hand! Dig inside my pocket and get my phone for me, will you?"

"What? !" I gulped. "You want me to WHAT? ! No way! Absolutely not!"

"Look, desperate times call for desperate measures. My boyfriend calls me on a regular basis, like five-times-a-day regular, so it could start ringing any moment! Get it for me, quick!"

"Five times a day isn't regular… that's just plain obsessive."

"Will you hurry up already? ! If something happens and my relationship is doomed because of you, I'm making you wear a maid's outfit in public!"

I gulped harder. "You're not making me –"

In a more sinister tone, she added, "And believe me, I will. You can bet on that. I've got… ways to make people cave in." Her narrowed eyes only served to reiterate how frightening she really was.

Even if Eri's sanity was at an all-time low, this was all too much to bear, especially the thought of feeling her thigh through the thin fabric of the jeans! However… being made to parade around Shibuya in a maid costume was the worse option hands down. Right now I had the power to stop that from happening, but to do that I'd have to practically feel her up!

On the bright side, I could take advantage of this, and –

But I'm a gentleman, not a pervert! What the heck was I even thinking? !

"Fine," I said nervously. "I'll do it."

A quick prayer to whoever could protect my soul and I was somewhat ready to take the plunge. Literally.

My free hand was trembling as I reached for her pocket. The jeans she was wearing had the pockets down the front, not at the sides. It would be easy to slip my hand in, but the real challenge was prying the phone out. And that pocket looked awfully tight.

When my fingertips came into contact with the texture of the leather, I shuddered. _I'm not a pervert_, I kept telling myself. _I'm just doing this to help a friend in need._ The blood was dripping from my nose as my fingers crept in deeper, and Eri wasn't making things any better for me. The way she was, um, moaning… and… writhing… was, uh…

"E-Eri," I almost pleaded, "please stop moving. I can't do anything like this."

"But I can't help it," she whined, growing as red as me. "It's… ticklish." She was clutching onto my shirt for dear life and I feared it would tear.

"If you could just keep still for a sec – "

"Unnh…!"

"Wh-What's with that moan? !" I spluttered, panicking. "Don't do that!"

"I can't help it! It's completely involuntary! Do you expect a normal person to hold it in when you're groping their thigh? !"

"I'm not groping!"

"Neku… your nose is bleeding harder."

"Don't change the topic so weirdly!"

This was madness. I diverted my face away and squeezed my eyes shut. And, hopefully, when I opened them again, I'd be back in bed at home where I could breathe a sigh of relief and say that _it was all just a dream_.

Eri jumped and gave an "eep". "N-Neku, your hand is slipping in the wrong place! That's my underwear!"

All at once a cold sweat broke out all over my body. I froze, too paralysed to pull out my hand; too bad my nose wouldn't paralyse together with the rest of my body, because it bled even more now. From a waterfall to a tsunami! Oh god!

"Ack! I'm sorry, Eri! I'll just –"

"Huh? …Oh, wait. False alarm. I thought it was my underwear but it's not. Carry on."

Nothing could describe how relieved I felt. "D-Don't scare me like that…"

Just how deep in her pocket was that stupid phone anyway? ! I had half of my hand wedged inside now, and all the while the luscious flesh of her thigh was teasing me through the fabric. How it tempted me so!

Then, after what felt like ages, my fingers collided with something solid. It must be her cell phone; I had struck gold at last, and about time too! I was so worried I would faint from the whole ordeal, but now there was a little more hope.

It was easier said than done to grab a hold of it. I had to use the tips of my fingers like a pair of forceps to grip the phone, and pulling it out was difficult, though I could manage somewhat. It was almost out. Just a little more… But just when my battle was about to come to an end…

…the phone rang!

Both of us jumped in unison when The Prince's voice suddenly blared out, belting out lyrics like there was no tomorrow. In a way, for us, there _was_ no tomorrow.

"Oh, crud!" gulped Eri. "That's my boyfriend! This is the third time he's called me up today! …Or is it the fourth?"

I hissed at her, "Now's not the time to wonder about that!"

"This is bad! He'll hear us! And if he does…"

The phone was still in my hand, half-embedded in her pocket, vibrating and singing that cheesy nonsense. The air was tense.

"Must you answer that, Eri? You can ignore him, right? ! I mean, one missed call isn't gonna kill you."

"But he'll get mad if I ignore him," she whimpered with an uneasy frown. "And he doesn't breach many excuses."

I didn't know why at the time, but hearing that ticked me off a little. I had heard of relationships where one partner was overly domineering and possessive. Was her boyfriend such a person? It sure would seem that way with him, but it was too early to jump to conclusions. Unfortunately, that was what I did, and I regretted it quickly.

I snapped, "What is he, some kind of control freak? He sounds like a total kook to me."

Eri was taken aback by my words. Her eyes widened just the tiniest bit, and a lesser person wouldn't have been able to see the hurt on her face, but I was observant enough to notice. It simply wasn't done badmouthing someone's lover. As terrible as he may have sounded, she still loved him. What was more, I didn't know the guy, so what right had I to make assumptions about him? Suddenly I felt very, very bad.

"S-Sorry, Eri," I murmured. "I didn't… I didn't mean to…"

What I imagined must be her hurt feelings still lingered. "Neku, please give me my phone," she said flatly. "I need to answer it."

I pried it loose from her pocket and slipped it in her hand. What had I done? I was sure she'd dislike me now, and just when I was starting to think she was cute and – No. No, I didn't think of her that way. I really didn't… right?

As I was busy thinking about how best to apologise to her, she started to smirk. Not at me, though. She was staring at her cell phone display with a look of incredulity and amusement. Then, to my surprise, she actually started to giggle. What was so funny?

"Neku," she chuckled, "it looks like we were both mistaken. Look."

She held up her phone for me to see. On the display, the phone's caller ID had identified the caller, and it was Shiki.

It wasn't Eri's boyfriend after all! The relief washed over me like a big wave. She answered the call and began talking to Shiki about who-knows-what-but-who-cares. I was too preoccupied with the feeling of being alive. After all, I avoided certain death from being beaten up.

The conversation ended quickly and Eri's chipper self returned. "That was a close one, Neku! We could have had our butts handed to us!"

"Yeah." My throat felt so parched from the tension of earlier, but it didn't stop me from chuckling myself. "Now, if you're sure we're safe, we ought to get out of here. I'm not sticking here another minute."

She agreed with me for once. "My boyfriend has what he calls the five-minute policy. He doesn't like shopping, so the longest he sticks around in a department store is five minutes; even lesser if it's close to 6 pm like now. He always get hungry around this time, and when he does, he usually hits up a ramen shack or simply heads back home. Long story short, I think the coast is clear."

"…You know an awful lot about him. Are you sure you're not some rabid stalker?"

"Well, excuse me!" She sounded slightly miffed. "I _am_ his girlfriend, you know!"

"Uh-huh. Let's just get the heck outta here."

"Oh wait. I'm going to have to change first." She was still decked out in that bustier top and jeans.

"I'll get out so you can change."

"Um, wait…" She gave a nervous giggle. "I… I think I need help taking off the bustier. It's, like, stuck or something."

My eyes grew wide. "Huh?"

"Neku, I hate to ask favours of you but could you help me again? You just need to undo the strings and – "

"U-Undo the strings? !" Was she talking about the strings hugging her back that were now holding the top together? ! "What's wrong with your evil little head? !"

"Kidding, kidding!" she laughed. "Do you need a blood transfusion?"

"Of course not!" I huffed, clutching my bleeding nose. "You, on the other hand, need a brain transplant!"

She just giggled herself to bits as I disentangled myself from her and stepped out of the fitting room. I was met with stares from customers and salesgirls alike. They had seen me being dragged inside together with Eri, and I was sure they were thinking about what sort of hanky-panky we might be up to. Too bad there was no hole in the floor I could bury myself in.

XOXOXOXOXO

"That wasn't all too bad!" said a smiling and satisfied Eri. "We evaded my boyfriend safely. How about that!"

"Eri… That's not something to be proud of."

"Oh, come now. You've got to look at the lighter side of life! And hey, I just got myself a sexy new top and jeans, so that sweetens the deal a whole lot! So now I'll just buy these hot numbers, and – "

I stopped her as she was just about to trot over to the cashier. "Hold it, hold it! You're not making me carry your shopping bags!"

"Is this about that promise? But… but it's just two itty-bitty pieces of clothing. I'm actually limiting myself today. Surely you're okay with just two? They're really light. It wouldn't break your back."

"That's not it!" I seethed. "This is a matter of principle! We had a deal! A promise! You swore you wouldn't make any purchases… or have you forgotten? !"

She tried again to get through to me using various reasons, and she was getting desperate. Her words came out in a flurry of nonsense that I couldn't care less about. "But it's on sale! Huge discounts! It's a steal! Who can resist that? I can't! Plus… it's so cute and I've already made plans to wear it on my next girls' night out. When you enjoy the nightlife, you have to do it in style, and this is style!"

"Come on, Eri. At least keep to your word…"

Listening was a quality that Eri was famously lacking. "And besides, you like this bustier top so much. If you let me buy this, I'll wear it for you next time I pop by your house –"

My face lit up red. "Th-That's not going to convince me!"

When I stepped back to think about it, I sounded mean for not letting her have her way. And if it was really only two pieces…

"Fine," I shrugged, defeated. "Only these, okay? Nothing more!"

Her victory grin was as bright as ever. "Hee hee. I knew you'd fold."

Eri and I had dozens if not hundreds of harmless but senseless arguments like this one by now, and in every one we had, she always won. What irked me every time was how she could twist my arm into losing. I was sure she had a whole book of dirty tricks at hand and she was using them to the fullest!

And so we left the store. She was humming happily while I was left with a single shopping bag dangling by my hand. I didn't want to carry anything, but at least it was only one bag, so thank goodness for small miracles.

"Cha-ching!" she whooped. "Great purchase!"

"Cha-ching? That's what the cashiers would say, Eri, not you."

"Why not? With a 40% discount I saved a little more money for myself." She rubbed her hands eagerly. "Ooh, now I'm fired up! Let's go someplace next! This date is far from over!"

"Please let it not be a boutique," I groaned.

"Oh, it's not, don't worry." Her hand waved in the direction of our next pit-stop, and my jaw dropped in horror. "It's not strictly a boutique… more like a lingerie store."

I could feel the blood bubbling in my nose as I stammered the shop's name: "_Lacy Temptations_? !"

"Yeah! Great timing too! I need a new bra anyway. Mine has been getting a little tight these days."

"T-T-Tight? !" Oh no… nosebleed incoming!

XOXOXOXOXO

It was nearly 7 pm by the time we were done shopping. Eri had kept her promise… to a degree. I was grateful that I wasn't buried in shopping bags – I had just two now – but I wished that just once, she'd be a bit more trustworthy.

We retired to Miyashita Park to take a final breather from today's roller coaster of a date before we would wrap it up and call it a night. There were some wide benches which made ideal resting places, and we were sitting side by side on one. Being the talkative sort, Eri had a lot to discuss.

"…And when we ended up in that fitting room, I was so scared we'd be found out. But it was kinda exciting at the same time! Like we're train robbers running from the law or something. Wouldn't you agree, Neku?"

"I lost half of my lifespan back there," I groaned. "That was scary." It was exciting alright, not because of the thrill of the danger, but because of… well, you know by now. Eri sure had a body to die for, and I almost died.

"Neku, are you, um, okay? You look really pale."

"How could I not when I'd lost so much blood? !"

She giggled. "Sorry. It's just fun to tease you and watch your poor nose go ballistic. You're a total riot when it comes to nosebleeds."

"Th-That's not funny, man… I lost about a gallon back at _Lacy Temptations_, and now I feel anemic. This is all your fault."

"Why, thank you, Neku," she said, ruffling my hair playfully. "It's good to know I've still got it."

I reconstructed my hair back into its original shape. "That wasn't a compliment!"

The evening was rolling in and it was already beginning to get dark, but we stayed for a little longer to appreciate the quietness of the empty park. It was almost serene how Eri and I were the only ones left in this deserted place.

"Hey, Neku," she piped up. "Do you know now?"

I didn't understand. "Know… what?"

She hopped to her feet and paced back and forth leisurely in front of me. "Remember how you were all depressed today about not knowing what it's like to date someone? Now you know what that feels like, right?"

Today's date with Eri – well, pretend date, anyway – was more embarrassing and torturous than anything, but at the same time, hanging out with her gave me a sort of… pleasant feeling. I couldn't explain it. But even when she was spoon-feeding me ice-cream against my will or even going dominatrix on me in a tiny fitting room, I felt happy. That happiness was mostly shoved to the back of my mind because I was too preoccupied to actually feel it, but now that I thought back, I was awfully glad I got to share those experiences with her.

It helped to fill up the void in my heart that Shiki had left. Thanks to Eri's efforts, my soul pain was slowly subsiding. Already I felt like I could carry on like normal and live a happy life, even if it was a life without Shiki.

Now, however, there was some confusion in my heart. I didn't know what it was, but I would find out in a moment.

"I doubt that dates are supposed to wind up this weird," I said, "but don't get me wrong. I… I _was_ glad. Really… I was. So… um, thanks, Eri."

"Good to know you've cheered up," she said, grinning. "See? You're feeling a whole lot sunnier now, aren't you?"

"I _do_ feel better… But it's weird for the girl to do the asking out. I'd rather I do it than you."

Her warm smile took on a mischievous flavour. "Hmmm? What's this now? Are you trying to hit on me, Neku? Getting a little bold now, are we?"

My face was starting to turn a beautiful crimson. "Th-That's not it, Eri! I didn't mean anything weird by it… I'm just saying I have to be a gentleman. And a gentleman always takes the initiative, right? It just feels odd that I'm a guy and I'm being treated by a girl to a movie and stuff. Our roles just got reversed."

"Hmmm, yeah, that's true. I love a guy who takes charge."

_Ba-dump._ Was that the sound of my heart? Why did it…?

"Oh! I know!" she quipped. "Since you understand the importance of chivalry, how about I give you a chance to try it out?"

"What'd you mean? Try what?"

"You can take me out for a movie or dinner to repay me for today's date! It'll be like dating practice for you too. How about it?"

Eri's forwardness was startling… "Movie? Dinner? !"

"Give and take, Neku," she smirked. "That's how the world works, right? I did tell you."

"So basically it's your greed at work, huh," I sighed. "But it'll be like a real date, so, um…"

She folded her arms and looked to the side, as if in deep thought. "I wouldn't call it a real date because we're not going out. More like a 'one good turn deserves another' sort of thing. But hey, if you want to use me as dating practice, I'm cool. But no kissing or holding hands, 'kay? I'm still taken."

I was already rather red to begin with, but now my blush deepened. Was this pure open-mindedness on her part or was she messing with my head again?

"Although…" she drawled, gnawing on her finger playfully, "if you impress me enough, I might just fall for you…"

"Bwuh? !"

"Ha ha, relax!" She patted me on the shoulder. "Don't take life so seriously! You've got to loosen up a little! …Oh, it's getting late. Well, it's been fun! Shall we be off?"

"Y-Yeah… Right with you."

Now I was confused. Eri was just a really good friend, but after witnessing her selflessness and how nice she could actually be… to be honest, my heart was starting to pound a little harder. So this was how things had turned out, huh? Funny how I was pulling my hair out over Shiki today and now I was actually feeling _something_ towards Eri. Something like… love?

Me, in love with Eri? Ha, you wish!

At least, I wanted to laugh at the very thought, but I wasn't so sure I could do that now…


	6. I Fell In Love Again

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 6)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

It's been a week ever since Eri and I went on what might arguably be the craziest date in history. The events of that fateful day kept repeating themselves inside of my head and wouldn't let up.

All in the space of one wild afternoon, we had watched a movie, had an ice cream, and then finished up with some shopping. It may sound like a typical date routine straight from the dating handbook, but in truth, it was anything but normal. The movie in question was a really frightening horror flick. She had the cheek to spoon-feed me ice cream in public. She stuffed the two of us inside a cramped fitting room to hide from her boyfriend. And on top of that, she took me to a lingerie store, where I bled from the nose to near-death.

Typical date, my foot! But…

…at the same time, I found the experience fun in its own demented way. Eri's oddities gave me my fair share of troubles, but I had to admit that something about the way she went about life was refreshing… maybe even cute.

Cute? Did I just think Eri was… cute?

I didn't know why, but lately I had been thinking a lot about her. Sure, she's attractive and awfully sexy, and if you can look past her quirks, she also has an easygoing personality that's hard not to like. And maybe she was on my mind more often these days because, well, I just wasn't thinking about Shiki anymore ever since I found out she got herself a boyfriend.

Wrestling for Shiki's affections at this stage was hardly worth it, so my crush on her vanished. And now, in her place… was Eri.

I wondered what Eri really thought of me… I knew I wasn't the coolest guy around and few girls would even look my way, but if she felt I was cute, even if it's just a teensy bit, I guess I'd be happy.

I probably sounded like I was in love with her or something. No matter how I tried to deny it, the truth was that little by little she was sweeping me off my feet. Perhaps it was a good thing?

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Who could it be at this time of night? I hardly had anyone come over to visit me, so there was only one person who fit the bill. And I was right. When I swung the door open, Eri stood before me.

What I didn't expect was that she was crying. Whenever she arrived at my doorstep, she was either drunk or too lazy to go back home. But for her to be in tears? This was a first. I had every right to be alarmed.

"Eri!" I gasped. "Wh-What happened? Why are you crying?"

Tears streamed from the eyes. She stumbled forward and latched onto the sleeves of my shirt for support, then dug her head into my chest and cried harder. Seeing her like this made me feel sorry for her. All I wanted right now was to be able to comfort her. My arms were about to circle around her to give her a hug…

…but then she blew her nose on my shirt.

"Wha – Hey!" That was my favourite shirt!

"Oh, Neku…" she sniffled. "It's so horrible…"

Despite what she did, I couldn't stay mad for too long. My shirt was ruined, but it could wait. There was a reason she was sobbing so hard and I was going to get the bottom of this.

"What is it, Eri? You can tell me. I'm here to listen."

She hesitated a little. "My… My…"

I waited with bated breath for her to answer. What was it that she wanted to say? Maybe she had a fight with her parents? Or perhaps she was mugged on the streets? Could it be that she was being bullied at college? Whatever it was, I wouldn't allow it! Eri was a friend I cared very much about and I didn't want her to cry anymore if I could help it.

"Let it out," I whispered. "Don't be afraid to tell me."

"Neku, my… it… I…"

"Eri?"

She blurted it out in one quick breath.

"My fingernail broke!"

Five seconds passed. Maybe ten. But I was so stunned I didn't know what to say until I recovered from the shock.

"Say what? You're saying your fingernail… broke?"

She nodded into my chest. What? Was this ridiculous or what?

"You're crying because you broke your fingernail? Is… Is that all?"

"Well… I also broke up with my boyfriend."

"And why do you sound so unaffected by _that?_"

"I thought at first he was nice, but he's been really possessive these days. He's more lame than suave now, and I've been wanting to dump that stupid jerk, so when I did, it was a great relief." She blew her nose into my shirt again with a vengeance. "But I was so angry. And then…"

"And then what?"

She sniffled, "And then I slapped him, and that was when my fingernail broke off! And I went for a manicure not too long ago too! It's totally wasted!"

The sound of her sobs and wails sounded muffled as she continued to bury her face in my chest. She had been my friend long enough for me to know that she had two simple emotions: laughter and lechery. She never cried. So if she was ever in tears, like now, then something must have hurt her plenty. But to think that the culprit was a broken fingernail of all things…

Eri really was insane. Yup.

But insane or not, a crying girl was sure to induce a lot of pity. I felt sorry for her and did the right thing to let her in so she could rest and cry it out.

"Come on," I said, "let's go inside. I'll fix you some hot cocoa."

After coaxing her into my home and changing my ruined shirt, I set to work in the kitchen. She sat slumped in a chair at the dining table, looking as dejected as can be. Her tears dried up fairly quickly, though there was the occasional sniffle.

As the cocoa was simmering, I sneaked a peek over my shoulder at her. She didn't notice me, or if she did, she certainly didn't care. The sight of her looking so vulnerable tugged at my heartstrings awfully hard, and I couldn't help thinking how, despite being in a sad wretched state, she looked so cute. It made me want to care for her… to help cheer her up and make her feel better so I could see that cheeky smile of hers that was a staple of her personality.

"Here." I set our cups on the table. She took hers and sipped slowly as I joined her at the table. She wasn't bawling anymore. Things were a lot calmer.

"Eri," I said, "let me take a look at that fingernail."

She fidgeted uncomfortably. "…No."

"Why not? I just want to see how bad – "

"No way, Neku. It's ugly right now. It's like a… fashion faux pas."

I spoke firmly but remained gentle. "I don't care if it's ugly or not. If your finger's injured, we're going to have to do something about that."

It took a little longer than I hoped, but eventually, after much consideration, she reluctantly drew her right hand from under the table and lifted it up for me to see. The nail on her index finger was sheared in half and it now had a jagged saw edge where it broke. But it wasn't that badly damaged, and with some careful filing, it'd be back to normal. That must have been one heck of a slap, though! If her boyfriend really was a jerk as she had put it, then I was glad he got what had been coming to him. Served him right!

I found a nail file from somewhere and started smoothing out the rough edge of her nail. Eri reacted to this in surprise.

"Neku, what are you doing?" she spluttered, though she didn't take her hand away.

"Huh?" I mumbled, confused. "I'm just fixing your nail."

"B-But… well, eh…"

Was she afraid I'd butcher her nail further? "Don't worry. I'll be careful."

Her mouth was ajar like she wanted to protest or at least say something, but in the end she chose to remain silent and let me go about my business. We spent about a minute in total quietness, accompanied only by the sound of the file scraping her nail. In the silence, my mind was clear enough to think about a lot of things, including what her relationship must have been like and such, but the most prominent thought I had…

…was that right now as I was busy filing her nail, I was also _holding her hand_.

I'd never held a girl's hand before. And Eri's was warm to the touch. My heart was beating so fast from touching her skin. Now I knew how nice it was to hold hands with a girl.

"It looks pretty normal now," I said, after I had finished. "Sorry if it's shorter and doesn't look too great. I'm not a manicurist, after all."

She scrutinised her nail carefully, and although she had yet to say anything, she looked impressed. In fact, she had actually become a little more cheerful, deadpanning, "You may not be a manicurist, but at least you're not a sadist."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her wit.

"But Neku," she added, "seriously… thank you. And… the cocoa is good. I feel… a whole lot better now."

Her words of gratitude for me were genuine, and being thanked like this took me by surprise. But it was a pleasant surprise, and I felt so good my heart was growing wings. And, if I wasn't mistaken… was she blushing too? Cute…

Onto other matters, though. "It's good that you're feeling better now, Eri," I said, "but if you still feel like you need to brood and go emo for a bit, you can stay over for the night. No, in fact, you should stay over. It's really late and dark out, and I'd be worried if you were out walking around at this time of night."

Dewy eyes met mine. Her lips trembled as she spoke.

"Neku, I'm happy that you're so kind to me, but… but…"

"But…?"

"Well…" Eri was fiddling with her pink locks nervously. "It's just… this is the first time you've ever asked me to stay over on your own accord. C-Could you be, um, propositioning me?"

I choked on my cocoa. If I wasn't careful I might have swallowed the whole thing down my windpipe and fatally burned my lungs.

"Wh-What gave you that idea?"

"Neku, my heart isn't ready for this kind of thing, you know… You mustn't be so hasty. I know we're not underage anymore, but…"

"I never said I was going to…! I mean, that's the kind of stuff you do only when both parties are ready… W-Wait, what are you making me say?"

"Well… at least you understand."

The five seconds of silence that followed never felt longer. I was cursing myself for being so awkward about things. But she quickly put me at ease.

"Okay, Neku," she said softly. "I'll stay for the night. All this crying and getting mad has tired me out, so I might as well. Thank you." She smiled…

…and so did I. "I'll make you some supper."

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri took the spare bedroom as usual. It was already a little past midnight, but I still couldn't sleep. I tried counting sheep, but it wasn't any use; it was like they were stuck under the fence.

Whenever Eri came to stay over, I never really felt like it was much to fuss over. However, in light of my growing feelings for her, which I had now slowly come to recognize, tonight was an especially exciting night indeed. My heart was bouncing about in my ribcage and threatening to blow it wide open like a piñata.

I did a lot of thinking in bed. No matter how terrible her ex-boyfriend might have been, breaking up must've been hard on her. Filing her nail and making her cocoa was thoughtful, but I wanted to do more for her…

What should I do? Maybe… Wait, that's it! She had taken me out on a date to cheer me up, so if I took her out on a similar date, then she might just feel better! It was perfect! Except…

This would be the first time I actually asked a girl out on a date – even if this was going to be a pretend one – and right now, the experience I had in such matters was…

…zero.

Sure, I could do all the things she did on our first pretend date, namely take her to a movie, get an ice-cream and help her with her shopping. But I didn't want it to be just some carbon copy outing that was boring and had that "been there, done that" vibe. I wanted this date to be different. But… how?

Just then, I was startled by the sudden click of my bedroom door being opened. The intruder lingered at the doorway, hesitant to enter. It was pitch black and even though my eyes had adjusted to the dark, I didn't need to see to know who it was.

"Eri?"

She let out a small "eep" and spoke in a hushed voice. "Oh! N-Neku, did I wake you up? I'm sorry!"

"No, relax, I'm still awake." I could just about make her out in the darkness, but she was just a blotted figure. I reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on. "What can I do for y– Bwuh?"

"Neku? What is it?"

I sat upright in an instant. "Eri, not again! _Must_ you take off your clothes when you sleep?"

What I said wasn't entirely accurate, though it was close. There she was, standing at the doorway in only her underwear, with a pillow in the crook of one arm. The sight of a stripped-down Eri was almost getting old by now, but it was always a jarring sight nonetheless.

To my question she had a stupid answer, if it counted as one: "Doesn't everyone?"

"I don't for one," I sighed. "But whatever, do you need something?"

She fiddled with her fingers nervously and her eyes darted away. "Um, Neku, I know this sounds like a lot, but… can I sleep with you tonight?"

My jaw dropped to the floor.

"WHAT!" I cried. "Y-You want to sleep… with me?"

"Uh-huh… I'm just… well, I'm feeling a little lonely tonight. So…"

Uh-oh. I knew where this was going. I just knew it! In an attempt to drown her sorrows, she was going to seduce me. Then when I succumbed to her charms, we would have a crazy night doing all sorts of things with each other! As sinfully tempting as that sounded, I felt it was way too early for that, all the more so when we weren't even going out. It almost seemed like a plot right out of a blue movie! Girl becomes sad, girl meets boy, boy comforts girl, boy beds girl. Oh god!

I edged away from her, gathering up the blanket around me in self-defense. I had to stop her before I lost control of even myself! "And you're the one who told me your heart isn't ready! I thought you're still opposed to this kind of thing!"

She frowned, but even then, she was steadily growing redder from the implications. "Look, um, Neku, this isn't about – so to speak – having a family and stuff."

"It's not?" I felt a little better. "Then what is it?"

"You remember how I said my boyfriend's mean, and I dumped him? That argument I had with him still stings plenty, and I've been feeling terrible all this time."

"You feel terrible? Are you saying you want to go back to him?"

"To that lousy skunk? Heck no." She made a face in disgust. "I don't feel any guilt. I did say I've always wanted to break it off with him. But my heart hurts and I just need some company. I hate being alone…"

Oh, so that was it… She just wanted a friend to relate her troubles to… a friend who could make her feel better with the right words and take away the pain. In that case, I was more than willing to help her out, but I wasn't sure if sleeping in the same bed with a half-naked girl was such a good idea…

"Even if you say that," I hesitated, "sleeping together is still a bit strange…"

This got her thinking, although she should have thought of the awkwardness of it sooner! "Hmmm… If the thought of a guy and a girl sharing a bed together freaks you out, then would it be fine if I say I'd like to sleep in your bed because I want you as my bolster?"

"Um… th-that's not exactly helping matters either…" If anything, it made things even harder than they already were! Me, as a bolster? She'd be clinging onto me with that amazing body of hers… for the whole night? I wasn't so sure I could take it.

Sensing my discomfort, she tried her hand at a softer approach to her request: "Uh, if not a bolster then maybe… a foot warmer… or, er…" Why would anyone use a foot warmer in summer?

I didn't want to drag this out any longer, but I couldn't bear to shoo her back to her room to sleep alone and face her troubles by herself, so I eventually gave in. "Well… I guess if you really really want to, you can share my bed."

The smile she gave me was soft and warm. "Thanks, Neku."

She peeled my blanket aside and slipped herself in. It was tough to restrain my urges as I watched her luscious legs go in first, and then her perky behind, and then… what beautiful underwear she was wearing! Black was pretty darn hot… oh, heck, I was sounding like a dirty old man. Maybe I really was one!

The lights went off and we were bathed in darkness once more. It made my discomfort – and excitement – a little more tolerable. I did nothing but lie ramrod straight, eyes glaring at the ceiling so hard I could burn a hole through. It was dark and I could see nothing, but I didn't dare to look at Eri, who was more relaxed and rolled onto her side to face me. All I could do was to wait for the morning and hope she wouldn't rape me in the middle of the night.

"Neku," she mumbled, "do you have any idea of what it's like to know true love?"

"Huh? I'd have thought you'd know about this yourself. Why are you asking someone who's never even had a girlfriend?"

This caused her to pause for a second or two before replying, "Well, do you remember our date last week? You know, when you accompanied me to the boutique and we were stuck in the fitting room?"

"Erm… Uh-huh?"

"When my phone rang and I was itching to answer it, you were visibly disgusted by how my boyfriend had this habit of checking on me so often every day. And on hindsight, you were right that he was a kook."

"What do you mean – Wait… you didn't break up with him because of what I said, did you?"

"What you said made me open my eyes. I thought I was being lovey-dovey with him, but looking back, it was more like him keeping tabs on me than anything. I realized this was tiring and it wasn't what I wanted so I broke things off with him. Glad I did. Now I feel so much freer!"

"Oh, um… if it worked out fine in the end, good for you."

She sighed sadly. "But it's always like this, Neku. I'm always flitting about from boyfriend to boyfriend, and there's always something wrong like this with the relationship, so it never lasts long."

I was surprised but curious at the same time. "Really? How long have you been with this boy – I mean, ex-boyfriend of yours?"

"Just over two months."

"Gosh, that's short."

"I'll say." That was a sad tone she was using… I could picture her biting her lip. "I did some thinking. After looking back at my love life, I saw a pattern. In the end, I'd always find out that those ex-boyfriends are not the dream guys I'd envision them to be. Turns out they're either egotists without a care for my feelings, control freaks who keep tabs on me 24/7, or perverts in disguise."

Perverts, huh? Don't birds of a feather flock together? I chose to keep it to myself this time though…

She continued, "I've had boyfriends who appear nice, but they treat me like I'm hot merchandise… And like all merchandise, they think I've got an expiry date. In other words, they get tired of their girlfriends easily, and when they do, they dump me and find someone else. Those are the egotists. They don't care how I feel. They just want to pump up their own image.

"Control freaks like the one I just broke up with care too much about me, so they're just as bad. They're overly possessive and when I don't answer their calls they get mad and accuse me of cheating behind their backs. I get no peace at all.

"And the less we talk about the perverts the better. They go after me only because they think I'll put out easily. I don't! Sure, they're friendly at first but two weeks into the relationship they make demands like… well, you know. They're really pushy."

I was surprised to hear this. Eri liked her own brand of kinky humour very much, but just because she loved her naturist ways didn't mean she was a fan of the bedroom arts. One would have thought that with the casual manner she went about life she'd hop into bed with the nearest guy the moment she had the chance. Looked like I was mistaken myself, but I was sure glad I was. Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief knowing she wasn't too eager for this kind of thing.

Kind of ironic though. Eri, known to be wild, was uncomfortable with the birds and bees, while Shiki, whom I thought to be demure, was probably getting it on as we speak… Oh well, whatever…

In any case, I also felt angry towards all those boyfriends she had who were bad to her. How dare they hurt her so! I made a silent vow to protect her from now on.

"I don't know why I'm so unfortunate in love," she said. "Maybe it's because I've got a carefree attitude towards life? Maybe. Ahaha… I can't be sure."

"At least you did the right thing quickly," I said. "It's a good thing you broke up with them soon enough. I'm happy for you that you did. You're too good for those jerk mullets."

"Jerk… mullets?"

I could tell she was confused by my choice of words. "Ah, sorry, Eri. I couldn't think of a more appropriate word to call them, but believe me, I would if I could, and it'll be much stronger than 'jerk mullets'!"

She giggled. "You're funny, Neku."

"B-But I really mean it, Eri… I mean, it's wrong that they did all that to you. If I had a girlfriend I'd never treat her with disrespect. Just thinking about what you had to go through… it… it really… it really…"

Suddenly the table lamp came on, and I immediately narrowed my eyes to reduce the glare of the light. That's when I felt something on my mouth. Something soft and… wh-what was this? When my eyesight readjusted itself, I found Eri sitting up partially, her index finger on my lips as a gentle way to demand silence. It made my heart skip a beat.

"Neku," she chuckled, "I'm so glad you understand how I feel. I'm angry and hurt over what happened to me, and it's nice that someone else can empathise with me. But let's keep the bad language at a minimum, shall we?"

A meek nod from me indicated that I understood. But 'jerk mullets' was relatively safe…

"Will you be alright though, Eri?" I asked her.

She looked amused, but in a nice way. "I'll be fine, Neku. Tomorrow's a new day, and I already feel like I can walk again thanks to you."

"I… I didn't do much," I muttered softly.

Her laughter was music to the ears. "Now, now, no need to be so modest! You're an amazing person, that's for sure! But enough for now… I'm getting sleepy. We'll talk more tomorrow. So… I'll see you in the morning?"

"Uh, okay… G'night, Eri."

"Thanks for everything."

"Y-Yeah…"

And then she did the most amazing thing. She clutched onto my arm, treating it as though it were a bolster. My skin prickled at her touch. Wait… Was I going to spend the whole night like this, her breasts in my arm?

In the darkness I heard her smoky voice. "Good night, Neku."

With that, she finally settled comfortably in bed and in two shakes of a lamb's tail she was fast asleep.

Meanwhile, I couldn't get much sleep myself. I had to blame Eri for this. And of course, you know why. She was touching me… So… distracting…

I had said it earlier but I'd say it again: Eri was a lot of things. She was a fashion buff and a joker. She was a weirdo with a disturbing penchant for indecency. Yet in spite of all of her obvious faults, she was also a friend. And now…

…she was also the girl I was madly in love with. What would tomorrow hold for us? I was getting excited at the prospect of spending more time with this fantastic girl.


	7. Yet Another Pretend Date

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 7)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

I got only about four hours of sleep in. I'd be a little sluggish for the rest of the day, but I guess I could manage. How was one to blame me for this? The whole of last night, Eri never let go of my arm. She had explained that I would be her bolster, but it didn't stop the whole experience from being one heck of a thrill ride…

Whenever Eri came over to stay for the night, she always slept in a separate bedroom. However, breaking up with her latest boyfriend made her feel lonely, so she had asked to sleep with me. But not in the way you might imagine it to be! She merely wanted to share the same bed. She may have slept in only her underwear like she always did, but nothing happened between us!

I kind of wished something did, though… Maybe like…

"_Oh, Neku," purred Eri. "I'm so lonely, and I have a broken heart…"_

_She climbed on top of me, and I was trapped and pinned down. I was powerless to do anything for myself, and her bedroom eyes made sure I stayed that way._

_I whispered her name. "Eri…"_

_And then… in no time at all, her deft fingers had taken off whatever little left of her decency she had and flung it aside. Now without a single thread on her body she clung onto me and moaned, "Neku…! I'm counting on you to make me feel good tonight!"_

"_Wait, hang on… Not my…!"_

Ugh! Seriously, it could have happened though, and if it did… how would I have reacted? Hmmm… Decisions, decisions…

I heard Eri yawning as she emerged into the kitchen. "Oh, Neku… g'morning. Is that miso soup?"

Her sudden appearance jolted me a little, and because I was fantasizing about her seconds earlier, I almost expected her to appear wearing nothing but the morning air.

"Hey, Eri," I called. "Yeah, we're having miso soup this morning." Even with just a simple dress shirt and a head of untidy hair, she looked pretty… No pants, though. Still pretty nonetheless.

Breakfast with Eri took on a different tone today, because for the first time, I was actually eating together with a girl I loved. Perhaps I failed to feel the rush of love with Shiki, but I might just be able to do that with Eri. The question was when the right time was to confess to her. Certainly not now, seeing as she was still feeling moody over her recent breakup.

She gave a melancholy sigh which made me feel bad. More than anything, I wanted her to cheer up and just be her usual self again. I wouldn't even mind if she made fun of me or anything… I just wanted her to be happy again! I took a stab at humour, knowing fully well I wasn't the best comedian out there. But if I could get her to smile, even a little bit… this breakfast wouldn't feel so grey.

"Eri, still feeling down today? Want me to punch your ex-boyfriend?"

Her lips twitched into a small wry smile, but otherwise she remained unaffected. Er… I got her to smile, but it didn't feel so good somehow… like I had told a bad joke and she was just giving me face…

"Neku, I appreciate your concern," she mumbled listlessly, "but… well, I'm just not in the mood for anything right now. I don't even feel like going to class today. Besides, I don't think you can win in a fight against my ex-boyfriend."

Ouch! That hurt plenty. Now this definitely wasn't the Eri I knew! I thought she had recovered somewhat last night when I expressed how angry I was over her terrible boyfriend. I had even called him a jerk mullet or something! But if her happiness wasn't improving then I had to step it up. The time had come for me to act like a real man! However, as gentlemanly as I hoped to be, I wasn't very experienced with handling the female psyche. I only hoped I wouldn't get her mad…

"Eri," I began, "if you feel like you need to skip class, uh… um…"

She didn't even bother to glance my way, and just continued to stir spirals in her soup for no reason. Uh-oh… not good… Losing her attention…

I just blurted out the thing I thought best to say. "…well, Eri, uh, if you wanna skip class, then… then I'll skip together with you!"

Finally I got a reaction from her. It wasn't immediately reassuring, however, seeing as she was staring at me wide-eyed with this uneasy look of horror, and that gasp of hers was loud and… and… uh, now what? ! What had I done? ! Was there anything possibly vile in what I had said? ! If staying by her side today meant I could heal her wounds, then I'd have to skip class myself… right? What was wrong with that?

"Y-You'll skip class with me?" she gulped. "Neku, you really _are_ trying to proposition me, aren't you? My heart still isn't ready, and…"

My spiky hair felt like it had radiated outwards like a sunflower. "What? ! No! Are you crazy? I'm just… I just don't want to see you sad like this anymore!"

"Then… you're trying to make me happy… by doing _it?_ If we end up having kids from this…"

"L-Listen to me! It's not like that! ! !"

My outburst clammed both of us up for an instant. Then, in a calmer and more refined manner, she broke the silence and prodded carefully, "Th-Then… what do you mean?"

"Uh… well…" I wanted to take her out on a date; that's what I wanted to do. It would be like a real date for me anyway, but for her I could pass it off as a pretend date, much like the one we went out on not too long ago. That would reduce our awkwardness a little. But I didn't know _how_ to ask her out in the first place! I was stumped alright, but she made things easier for me. Unfortunately, it made me look a little silly.

She said, "You… You want to take me out on a date, right?"

"Huh? Um, it's not really a date… more like a… going out between friends… or something like that… I dunno…" I paused and was struck by a thought. "Wait a minute, how did you know I was going to – ?"

"Well," she sighed, "you've always been easy to read."

"The way you put it, I don't know if that's good or bad…"

At least she had a real smile for me this time. "Alright, Neku… I'll take you up on your offer. If you're going to take me out on a date… then I leave myself in your care."

I lit up like I had struck the lottery. No, this was way better than the lottery! "Y-You really mean it, Eri?"

"Sure! I think it's fun to be naughty for a day and play truant to have fun. And college isn't like school where they'll pick on you for missing a day of classes. Heck, the lecturers don't even care. So all things considered, why not? We've nothing to lose."

Alright! Her cheeriness suddenly made the dreary atmosphere a whole lot brighter. I myself felt like I was floating on air. This was a dream come true! After working up the courage to ask a girl on a date, I actually succeeded! …Well, more like she correctly guessed what I was up to and agreed to it, but it was all good. That was one hurdle cleared.

To be honest, when I was up last night, I had been thinking about what I should do for today. Run-of-the-mill dates with movies and dinner were safe, but she'd probably been on a lot of those by now and she'd be bored with those, so I wanted to be different. I wanted her to know that I was actually putting in effort. And most of all, I wanted her to know that I was the right guy for her!

Eri was sounding eager, even impatient. That was a good sign.

"So, Neku?" she chirped. "When do we start?"

"Is right away cool with you, Eri?"

"Of course!" She rose from her seat and marched towards the front door with gusto. "Come on, Neku, let's go!"

I stopped her frantically. "Whoa, Eri, wait! ! ! I don't mean 'right away' as in 'right this moment'! We haven't finished breakfast yet! I haven't had my shower! And you aren't even wearing any pants!"

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri and I were out on the streets where I was walking her to our first destination. Her good mood gave me confidence and made me feel I could pull this off without a hitch.

"So where are we going, Neku?" she asked, looking fresh and lively.

"Erm, it's a surprise."

"But I wanna know…" She sure wasn't one to wait, was she…

I couldn't resist a chuckle. "How about if I told you that I'm taking you to a special place… a sanctuary of sorts? You'll know what I mean when you see it."

She stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Special place… Sanctuary…" Then, as though she had guessed it right, she breathed, "Let me guess…"

"Huh?"

Strangely, she seemed a little pale… "Neku… don't tell me… Y-You're taking me to a… love hotel? !"

I recoiled. "Wh-Why would I take you there? !"

The pallor on her cheeks gave way to an intense blush. "So the sanctuary you were talking about… it's such a place? I never knew you were so… wild. And I did tell you already many times by now, my heart isn't ready… P-Plus my last menstrual cycle was – "

"No, no, no! That's not it! Far from it!" Oh no! This was getting out of control! I had to clarify matters quickly or this date – and my love life – would see a swift end. "Look. That 104 Building you're so fond of going to? I figured it's like your sanctuary, and I know how much you like shopping, so I thought we could buy some stuff, you know? It's nothing like what you said!"

With this, she nodded in understanding. "Oh, right! I see… Man, don't give me a heart attack! You're my most trusted guy friend, you know!"

"Sorry… I guess mystery isn't what I'm good at."

She smiled and gave my arm a friendly squeeze. "Sure, but you're good at a lot of other things, like cooking. And nosebleeds."

"Th-That last one was nothing to be praised about…"

XOXOXOXOXO

For a date to go well, the guy usually has to be in charge, and as such he has to be able to handle any expenses that come along. What I was going to do now was very risky as I would invariably run into some high costs, but if I could get this to work…

I cleared my throat and prepared to burn a hole in my wallet. "Well, here we are at 104. Let's get started, eh?"

"Sounds good," she said with a wide smile. "Oh, it's not window shopping now, is it?"

"No, we're doing some _real_ shopping. Or rather, you are. I was pretty restrictive during that date we went on last week. I didn't want you to buy a whole bunch of stuff because I wasn't in the mood to carry lots of shopping bags at that time. So now I just want to give you the chance to buy what you like… and I'm paying this time."

I knew how clothes were like catnip to Eri, so I figured that by taking her here and letting her indulge in her hobby without abandon, I could score some serious points with her.

Pure astonishment stunned her so much that she didn't know how to react. She stared right at me, her eyes unchanging and kind of creepy, like a fish. In fact, she couldn't find herself to believe a word I had just said.

"Neku, do you have a fever? No… this kind of behaviour can't be brought about from just some fever. You must be stricken by a life-threatening disease…" To be honest, she even looked worried…

I reassured her, "I know this is unlike me but I'm not sick or crazy, really I'm not. But this is a date, right? And as the guy, I've got to make the girl happy. So don't be shy now, Eri. Just buy whatever you like." Then, in a shaky, uneasy voice, I added, "Um, I… I do have a limited budget, though… But anything below 30000 yen should be fine." Way to make an impression… But my wallet couldn't help it…

Still, she was ecstatic. "Whoa. For real, Neku? I can buy whatever I like?"

"Yeah, I mean it. Sorry it can't be over 30000 yen, though. …My allowance is a little short this week. But otherwise, knock yourself out. Seriously."

A smile grew on her lips, signaling the start of what I knew so well by now to be mania. Like a feeding frenzy, only with clothes instead of food and many times worse. I braced myself to get eaten up…

"Okay, Neku," she chirped. "If you say that's fine, then I'll do just that. I'll have you know that clothes nowadays don't cost below 30000 yen, though."

"Bwuh? !"

"Hee hee… Just kidding. 30000 yen is good enough for me."

Good Lord, please don't give me another heart attack…

She paused to think. "What I'm looking for can't be found here in 104. It's in Shibukyu Main Store, actually. Can we go there? It's just round the corner behind this building."

Not in 104? I didn't pay it any mind, though. Whatever works, right?

As we left the building, I couldn't help wondering what she could possibly want that wasn't in 104. Wasn't she a fan of D+B? She was always squealing to me about how the skirts from that brand were so cute and the tops were just out of this world. Of course there were a lot of other brands that she loved too, but D+B was her favourite. But the one brand I never expected her to take a liking to was…

"Dragon Couture?"

"Yeah. Fashion for the distinguished, yet still managing to be semi-formal enough to be worn as casual wear. Neat, huh?"

"I don't know… No offence, Eri, but you seem more at home with casual wear, not formal dresses and such…"

She giggled. "Just watch."

Eri was busy teleporting from shelf to shelf, looking for what I imagined must be the perfect jeans or that one skirt to die for. As for me? I was scanning around for nothing in particular, but in truth, I was just taking more than my fair share of surreptitious glances at her.

I knew she really was pretty, but only now did I appreciate her cuteness. One might expect me to wax about how she would be just right if she weren't so crazy. But no, now I knew better. This almost manic side of her was part of what she was, and without it she just wasn't Eri anymore. And I wanted her to stay the way she was. The Eri I came to know… and love.

What was she searching for in a Dragon Couture shop anyway? Hmmm… I wondered if she might be interested in a tight-fitting blouse for a change. Or maybe even an elegant cheongsam with a long slit down the side to show off her nice long legs. Ah… How nice…

"Excuse me, sir."

I turned to face the source of the voice that had shattered my dreamy stupor. It was a salesperson. "Huh… yes?"

"…Here are some tissues, sir."

He handed me a small pack of facial tissues before scurrying away. At first I was confused by his actions, but soon I realized why. My nose was bleeding. Probably the result of thinking about Eri. Whoops!

A little while later she scampered over to my side, cradling some clothes in her arms.

"I see you found something you like, Eri."

"Yup! It's on sale too, so it comes to a little more than 10000 yen! How's that for a deal?"

"Eri, it's not even close to my 30000 yen budget," I said kindly, returning her smile. "You can buy more, you know. I'm sure there's something here that I can still afford."

"Yeah, I was thinking of getting something else for myself. But in the meantime, this is what I'd like to get… but only if it fits you."

"H-Huh? Wait…" What was she up to? Was she trying to get me to… wear ladies' clothing? ! Aw heck no!

I backed away from her so much that I almost knocked over the mannequin behind me. "No way, Eri. I'm not doing any of that perverted cross-dressing stuff! Maybe it fascinates you but it gives me the creeps!"

She groaned and let out a sigh, tired of my violent reactions. "I'm not that cruel, you know! Look, this is a semi-formal dress shirt, and slacks to match! It's men's wear, you silly ape! Besides, if I were to get you to cross-dress, it'd be with a maid's costume."

Eh? Men's wear? Now wasn't that a relief indeed! A strange choice to be sure, but girls could don men's clothing if they so wished. …That last sentence was very unnerving, though.

Wait a minute… why did she want _me_ to try them on?

"Hang on, Eri. If these clothes are for yourself, why are you asking me to – "

"Oh, they're not for me, Neku. I got them for you."

"Whuh?" What was going on? Why would she get those clothes for me? I had a tornado inside of my head and didn't know what to make of this. "For me? Um… but I thought you were going to shop for yourself?"

Eri looked to the side for the quickest moment and I thought I saw her flinch a little too, though not out of discomfort as far as I could tell. She answered with a small grin, "Ah, but when you offered to pay, you never said specifically that I was to buy stuff for only myself. So that means it's perfectly alright for me to buy things for you."

Uh… good point. True, I was paying, but she could buy whatever she wanted. And it certainly didn't matter for who she buying those clothes. But this raised a good question.

"Why did you buy them for me?"

She gave a little laugh. "Ah, I wanted to see how you look like in a dress shirt and slacks, Neku. That's all."

I thought I could feel another heart attack coming on, but it wasn't out of shock. The culprit was still Eri, but this felt so different. I wanted to look cool by paying for clothes that I thought she would buy for herself, but she totally outdid me! She took advantage of the situation in such an unexpected way and now I was this close to keeling from swooning over this girl.

She extended the clothes towards me with her smile as big as ever. "Um, so… could you try them on? We need to see if they'll fit and if you look good in them."

"Um…"

"If you want," she said with an evil grin, "I can accompany you into the fitting room and… help you dress up."

"N-No way. We are _not_ repeating that incident. You stay out of this!"

"Are you sure you even know your collar from your cuffs? Or maybe you need me to help tighten your belt. A helping hand here and there can't hurt. I'm good at what I do. Hee hee…"

"I-I'll do it myself!" I spluttered, blushing hard at her perverted jokes. "So that's that – "

"Sir!" It was the salesperson. He shoved something into my free hand. "Here are some more tissues." Then he vanished out of sight again.

Ngh… so here we had another nosebleed, eh? Eri was amused at what was another of my famous battles with my poor nose.

"Might want to plug it in," sniggered Eri.

"Mmph…!" This was a losing battle I was fighting, so I wasted no more time and snatched the clothes from her, then slunk into the nearest fitting room in half a second flat. The sounds of her laughter could be heard from outside the closed door.

Well, all that aside, I did have a serious thought: was Eri buying these for me? Really? I wanted to buy stuff for her, not the other way around. How could my plans go so far astray? But I wasn't saying this was a bad thing, by any means…

And when I was done dressing myself up in her hand-picked clothes, I felt like a different person altogether. The dress shirt was grey and had short sleeves that reached to the elbow. The slacks were black and just right; not too baggy, and none of that ridiculous bell-bottom stuff. I couldn't believe it myself: Eri had picked out some clothes that were decent and tasteful for a change. But what truly amazed me was that I actually looked good in them.

"Not bad," I muttered to myself. "Not bad at all."

I stepped out of the fitting room to show off the new me to Eri. Ha ha… Eri, I dare you to lay your eyes upon this devilishly handsome man without getting a single dizzy spell!

She was nowhere to be seen. Huh? Where was she?

The door of the fitting room next to mine suddenly banged open and out clambered a customer. She almost tripped as she came out and when she saw me she immediately went into a rushed apology. "Sorry! Sorry, Neku. Were you waiting long for me?"

I stared and stared at this stranger. She was clad in a cheongsam, the vivid crimson cloth demanding attention. It was close-fitting and hugged her slender body tightly like a second skin. But the part about her dress that yanked my line of sight towards it – almost violently so – was the slit down the side. It reached up to the upper reaches of her thigh, and when it shifted, her entire leg poked into view, teasing me. My breath hitched in my throat.

"Eri? !" I said at last. "Is… Is that you? !"

"I should be asking that about you!" she countered, her hand to her mouth in astonishment. "Those clothes are awfully cool on you. I'm not joking! Like, totally asdfghjkl;…!"

"I-I'm surprised you could actually pronounce that."

There we stood, captivated with each other like a couple of silly high school kids in love. It was amusing how her face had quickly come to have the same colour as her dress. Then again, so did mine.

I shook out of my daze and asked, "By the way, Eri… wh-what's with the dress?"

"I found this nice cheongsam while you were changing," she explained, "and I thought you'd take a while, so I decided to try it on myself, but I totally didn't think you'd finish up so quickly."

"Oh… I see… um…"

She quickly returned to her old self and quietly asked for my opinion. "Erm… anyway, does it look good on me?"

"Th-That's a no-brainer. Uh… I'll give you an A for looking good." I couldn't tear my eyes off of the whole of her. Everything about her screamed sexy with a capital R for Rrrrrooow!

"Heh heh, thanks!" She was a sucker for attention, this girl. But she deserved it. "You're a far cry from the purple hoodies you're so fond of wearing. Ah, but I mean no offence, Neku. I'm just saying it's refreshing to see you wear something different for a change."

"Y-Yeah, I know…"

She was still blushing. Damn, she looked so cute.

"Eri?"

"Hmmm? What?"

"Uh… are you going to buy that cheongsam?"

"Of course! It's a good buy! And it pairs well with these high heels! Take a look and tell me you agree." She stuck her foot out to show me, but I never actually noticed the shoes much. All I was looking at was that long, lovely leg of hers peeking out of that slit. "Well? What about it? Doesn't it just spell chic?"

"Um… y-yeah. I… I agree. Completely. One hundred percent. Times two."

"Hey, careful, Neku! Don't dirty your new threads with that nosebleed of yours! What's with you anyway? D-Do you have some fetish for high heels? I mean, I kind of understand the appeal, but – "

"Fetish? ! No! What're you talking about? !" I graciously accepted more tissues from the salesman and jammed my nostrils shut. "A-Anyway, if you're getting these for me, I… I'll gladly accept them. I mean, it's something I want too."

"Really? That's great! I'm glad you like them, Neku. But now… I guess we'll have to do something about your shoes."

"My… shoes?" I looked down at my sneakers, and instantly knew what she was talking about.

"I hate to tell you this, but purple trainers are just so wrong in this getup. Let's get you some nice proper shoes, and then you can go out onto the streets in style. I'd love to see that!"

"Y-Yeah… me too, I guess…"

Once she was done changing back into her old clothes, she dragged me towards the section of the shop where shoes were sold. I stole another glance at her to find that she was smiling broadly to herself and that her blush had blossomed into a deeper shade of red.

Why was she blushing?

That was what I wanted to know. It would be simple to say she was bowled over by how good-looking I suddenly was, but prod this situation a little further and it might not be too far off a theory that she might actually think I was… hot?

Oh come on… Me, hot? How could she possibly see me in that light? Because if she did, then maybe she might think of me as more than just a friend…

But to think that way so soon, especially after her breakup… Was this even possible?

Or maybe she had always been… I dunno…

XOXOXOXOXO

Our clothes – her Chinese dress and my Saturday Night Fever ensemble – came to a total of about 25000 yen, which was just right for my agreed budget. Well, it could have cost a whole lot more but fortunately there was a sale going on, so hooray I guess?

I was still getting used to my new look. Yes, Eri had persuaded me to wear my new clothes in public. "You'll be the bomb!" she had squealed. I had tried to tell her I didn't want to, but she forced me to, so how could I refuse? And so I was walking down the streets wearing my brand new dress shirt, slacks and a pair of shiny leather shoes as black as night.

I thought I could feel everyone's stares on me, as though it didn't suit me at all, but everyone else was dressed considerably wackier, like Eri herself, so they probably didn't even bother to look my way. I could only hope I didn't look like a fool. But these were clothes picked by a fashion genius, so I'd be fine.

"And now," she said, "we need to dye your hair black to complete the look."

I reached up to my hair protectively with both hands. "Uh… no. Let's leave my hair out of this. I love it too much for that."

"I was just pulling your leg," she giggled. "I'm not going to do anything about your hair. It's part of what makes you… you."

Lunch was spent over light refreshments at a café called WildKat. I had been wondering where to take her for mealtime and carefully took her nature into consideration. If she loved fashion, then she must a high-maintenance person, even if just a bit. It simply wouldn't do to take her someplace cheap, like a ramen shop or beef bowl joint. But I was a struggling student with limited cash reserves, so an expensive restaurant was out of the question. WildKat was thus the best option as it had the best of both worlds: it had a classy ambience which might suit Eri's tastes, but all of the food on sale was affordable… good for my wallet.

And as an added benefit, there was someone who worked there whom I could consult for advice… You could say he was a friend of mine.

We were sitting on high stools at a long bar, chowing down on fried tofu salad and soup-of-the-day. It's been awhile since I came here, but the food has always stayed nice and tasty, just the way it should be.

Eri kept gushing, "God, this soup is heavenly."

The proprietor chuckled and expressed his gratitude, "Ah, thanks. You're too kind." He had shades on that were as dark as his hair, and his six-o'-clock shadow was worn in style. He may be aging and I believe he was pushing forty, but he was as fashionable as his café and his name was Mr Hanekoma.

How I got to know him is a long story that I'll leave for another day to tell, but he's one of my friends and also the person from whom I wanted to cull dating tips from. I hoped a chance would present itself where I could get him to slide me some quick information.

While he busied himself with serving the customers, Eri and I made small talk throughout lunch.

"Eri," I said, "you sure I don't stand out like a sore thumb? What with my new clothes and all."

"No way, you're doing fine!" She gave my shoulder an affectionate squeeze to make me feel more at ease with myself. "In fact, it's almost like you and WildKat are kindred spirits. The power of trendiness, you know?"

"I… I guess. It's just that ever since I started wearing these clothes, I've had this weird feeling. It's been eating away at me, and the back of my neck feels itchy too because of that."

"The back of your neck? Itchy?" She shot me a curious glance. "I wonder…"

"Eri? Wh-What are you doing?"

She reached out for my shirt collar and flipped it inside out. I was wondering what she was up to when she gave me a possible reason for my edginess. "Oh, it's just the tag on the inside of your collar."

"Tag?" She was right. So this whole time it was a cardboard tag that had been playing vampire on my neck, that annoying little thing! I guess I forgot to remove it… That's another 'Whoops' moment to chalk up for today!

"Remember to cut it off when you get home," she giggled.

"I don't think it can wait," I mumbled sheepishly, making for the washroom. "I'll be right back."

I must have been so nervous about getting things right for this date that I must have thought the itchiness was part of my psyche. But this was the very first date where I was the one to ask the girl out, and I wanted it to be just right. All the more I needed to ask Mr Hanekoma about what I could do to better the flow of things between myself and Eri.

The tag came off and the relief was both immediate and noticeable. It did make me feel better, although I also felt like a fool for having a tag, well, tag along for the whole morning. And then, as though the timing couldn't be better, when I came out of the cubicle, who should I bump into but Mr Hanekoma himself, washing his hands at the sink. Perfect!

"Mr H!" I gasped. "Hey, could you spare me a minute?"

"Well, well," he said, "looks like good ol' Phones got himself a girlfriend. It's nice to be young!"

"C-Could you not call me Phones, Mr H? I don't even wear my headphones much these days. And anyway, Eri's not my girlfriend yet."

"Oh, I see." He was beaming in an understanding way. "First date, eh, boss?"

"Yeah. I need to ask you… Do you know any dating tips? I mean, if you've been around for some, maybe you might know something I could use…"

His cheery expression soured a little. As for why, his next words would explain it all. "Around for some? Y-You make me sound old, Phones… That's like salt in the wound, you know."

"Ah, um, s-sorry, that's not what I meant at all, pops!"

"…P-Pops?"

"Uh…? ! No, I mean…!"

"I don't usually concern myself with these things, but… if I were anyone else, you'd be walking on thin ice. _Very_ thin ice."

"I-I'm sorry!"

Me and my big mouth! Never had I ever seen such a dark look on Mr H's face… I struggled to right my wrongs, but he waved the matter aside quickly.

"Oh well," he sighed, "it can't be helped that I'm not exactly young anymore, but if I can help you a little, that's fine with me. And it's not nice to keep your little lady waiting, so I'll be brief and quick about it. Listen up."

"You got it, Mr H!"

At last! It's so nice to be able to ask someone for advice and get it. I should have done this a long time ago instead of getting nowhere by thinking in senseless circles. I braced myself for some good tips that I could put to good use. This was going to be awesome. Of course it would; Mr H was a dependable person. I was more than sure that his advice was –

"Neku, in a nutshell, you just need to be yourself."

I stared at him. I waited. And when the wait proved a little too long…

"Mr H? Um, wh-where's the advice you wanted to give me?"

"That _is_ the advice!"

If it was advice, it certainly didn't sound like it! Where was the part where he would talk about what turns a girl on? Where were the little-known secrets to making any girl swoon? Heck, what's a guy got to do to get some cheat codes in life?

"Just be myself? !" I blurted. "That's supposed to help me… how?"

He braced the back of his neck like he was always seen to do. "I know you're eager for some fast tips, and that certainly fit the bill, didn't it?"

"But if I'm just myself, nothing's gonna change. In the end I'll stay the same way and Eri will get tired of me eventually… at least that's what I'm afraid of."

"Phones," he said kindly, "let's do a little thinking. That girl… Eri, was it? Why do you like her?"

"H-Huh?" I was momentarily stunned. Here he was asking me why I was in love with Eri? There were several reasons, and I could go on and on about them, but I felt there was a deeper meaning to Mr Hanekoma's question, so I probed further. "Wh-What do you mean?"

His face fell. "What's with that? Don't tell me you like her only for her looks…"

"O-Of course not! I find that hanging out with Eri is really fun, and there are so many things under the sky we can talk about. It's true she's got her quirks and little spots of craziness but don't we all? And besides, she's proven to be a great friend. There are times when I'm feeling down or frustrated and she's there to give me some moral support. She… She really cares about me. And I feel the same way about her."

Upon hearing this, Mr H smiled and nodded, apparently pleased with my answer.

"So in other words, you like Eri for who she is, right?"

"Uh… Yeah! That sounds about right."

"Well, then you're set! If you like Eri for who she is, then I'm sure she feels the same way about you! I know we're living in a world where change is inevitable, but sometimes staying the way you are works wonders too. This is one of those times."

I was stunned. To be honest, I thought his advice was useless, but when he explained it that way it suddenly clicked in my head. I had been struggling this whole date to make myself more likeable in Eri's eyes, but his words made me realize that perhaps I had been trying too hard. If she liked me, she wasn't trying to sell herself or anything; she wasn't sweating it, to be sure. So why should I? Of course certain basic matters of chivalry could be improvised upon depending on the situation, but otherwise it was fine to just be myself.

"Whoa…" I breathed in amazement. "Whoa, Mr H. I… I understand now. And I think I know what to do."

"Don't try to go out of your way to be different. It's tiring and she'll see through it. That'd be bad."

"True. Thanks, Mr H! This really helps."

"Best of luck, Phones. …Just don't call me pops again." His face was straight and serious.

"Y-Yeah…" Good thing I didn't call him grandpa…


	8. A Boy, a Girl, and a Hot Bath

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 8)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Mr Hanekoma's words enlightened me. That was exactly what I needed to hear. I already felt like I was one step closer to getting a taste of that elusive feeling called mutual love. I wouldn't bore you with the details but there were a few other places I went to with Eri. All I can say was that this date turned out great. Now we were lingering around Miyashita Park, which was one of the quieter places in Shibuya.

I almost wished it wouldn't end, but time waits for no man. The evening would soon arrive. Oh well, if things went well enough, I could go on another date with her some time soon!

As we were strolling around, I could tell she was very happy and very contented with the date. "Nothing quite like a good song or two at the local karaoke bar to yell out your sorrows, heh heh!"

"'Yell' being the operative word," I added. "You could have exploded the mike just now."

"Hey, give a girl a break." She stretched her arms. "I've been through a lot. I'm awfully glad you took me to Crazy K. Plus… you're not too bad a singer yourself."

"Huh… really?"

"Amongst the crows, you're music to peoples' ears," she giggled.

"I get that I sing badly… You didn't have to rub it in…" I hung my head and she laughed at my plight, patting me on the back to comfort me.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a hawker with his push-cart. He was stationed in the middle of the park, under the shade of a large tree. It was obvious that he was selling food of some kind, but when the smell hit me I knew what it was. An idea came to me.

I told Eri to wait for me a little while I went to buy some of the hawker's food. Upon my return, she immediately noticed the large oval object I had in each hand and lost no time asking in obvious repulsion, "Neku, wh-what are those? Those… eggs? They're brown, and three times larger… and kinda creepy-looking…"

Cute reaction… "Relax, Eri. I assure you these aren't xenomorph eggs. They're sweet potatoes."

Her disgust melted away, but she still remained apprehensive. However, the next question she had for me was a stupid one. "Sweet potatoes… They're edible, right?"

"They're not poison capsules, Eri," I laughed, handing one to her. "Here, try it. It's delicious."

She cradled it in her hands as carefully as one might handle a crystal goblet. She fumbled a bit from the heat, I imagine, as it was freshly hot, but she managed. Then after the confusion had died down she commented, "Wow… It's warm."

"The best time to eat it is during winter. I know it's summer right now, but… well, I thought you might like it."

Her small smile widened a little more for me, a welcome sign that her soul was healing. "Thanks, Neku. I'm so glad I went out with you today. I've never felt so good before, and thanks to you, I've gotten over my broken fingernail!"

"B-But not your ex-boyfriend?"

"Psh," she huffed, "what is he? He's got a handsome face but his heart is trash. I've long gotten over him."

"Okaaaay…"

"But anyway, Neku… Thanks again."

I felt a jolt in the heart. I never had a way with words so my humble reply to that was, "Well, we're friends."

"By the way… I know this is going to sound really stupid, but…"

"What is it?"

"…I've never eaten a sweet potato before. How do you eat it?"

I was astonished that she had never tried this simple yet delicious little wonder of a root vegetable. Sweet potatoes had been around for a long time now, and it was new to her? Perhaps, as learned or experienced as we may be, there were still a lot of things in the world that we could know about. After all, you never stop learning.

"There's no real trick to it," I said kindly. "You just need to…"

Everything around us became muffled and indistinct as we found ourselves sucked into our own little world. It was just me and her. Me… I was giving her a quick lesson on the fine art of munching on sweet potatoes. Eri… well, she was mangling and wrestling with her sweet potato in both hands, making her lack of delicacy stand out even more. But it mattered little because the important thing was that she was having fun, something I could tell from the way she was giggling. And when she finally took her first bite, gushed at the taste and proclaimed it as the best darn thing in the world, it made me happy. Really happy.

"It's yummy," she said, grinning. "I love it."

"Glad you like it."

"Hee hee. You're such a cool guy, Neku. If I had known earlier that you were this awesome, I might have had a better impression of you."

"Th-That hurts, you know."

"Ha ha ha!"

We leaned against the railing with the cityscape before us, chatting and eating. It was a peaceful time and certainly good for the soul, but we weren't even halfway through our snacks before a loud noise like thunder ripped through the air, making us jump. And when we glanced upwards, there was a blanket of grey clouds where the sky should be. I thought it was kind of dark while we were talking, but it never crossed my mind that it might be starting to rain. Another peal of thunder and then it started raining cats and dogs. No, not like this. I didn't want the date to end like this!

"Crud!" I cried. "We need to move!"

"Right you are," squawked Eri, "but where do we go now? !"

"My house is just two or three minutes from here. I know we'll get really soaked along the way but it's better than hiding in a shop or someplace and staying wet. I had a cold just last month and like heck I'm getting another one!"

"Oh, good thinking! Your house _is_ pretty near from here after all! Let's hustle!"

The skies were opening up and letting loose with watery hell. If it was a drizzle it wouldn't be so bad. But a downpour was hardly the kind of thing anyone out in the open would like. Who would? It was really icky how my clothes were sticking onto my skin like cling film. And they were my new threads too.

"Agh, it's really pouring!" I yelled. "Eri, do you happen to have an umbrella with you?"

"No!"

"You don't keep one under that oversized cap of yours?"

"It's not _that_ big, you idiot!" she snapped. "Just shut up and keep running!"

And run we did. Boy, how we hurried. But we're lucky my house was nearby. Out of the rain… good! Now all that was left to do was to take a quick bath before the coldness set in and made us sick. Man… it sure was disgusting being so wet! Wait… wet? If I was wet, then so was Eri. And if she was wet, then how did she look – Holy ASDFGHJKL;…? !

"Eew," she groaned, "this sucks."

I watched her, spellbound, as she parted the damp fronds of her hair. From head to toe she was positively drenched. I knew how tight-fitting her clothes were but now that they were hopelessly damp, they clung to her body even closer in sexy ways even I couldn't imagine in the dirtiest crevices of my psyche.

She noticed me gazing stupidly at her and brought me back to my senses. "Hey, Neku? We should hurry and – whoa, another nosebleed? ! What happened to you on the way here? !"

"I-It's nothing to worry about," I mumbled. "Nothing at all. You… You were saying something about hurrying?"

"Uh, I'm saying we should hurry and take a bath."

"Ah, um, right!" I did my very best to pull myself together. "In that case, Eri, you go and take a bath first. I'll go in once you're done."

"But you'll catch a cold waiting for me," she said. "And I don't want that. Let's just go in together."

Previously I might have shuddered quite badly from the crazy things she might have said, but this time I practically broke my neck by rearing backwards so violently in shock. And like always, my words in reply were, "What the heck are you smoking? !"

My outburst didn't faze her. If anything, she actually seemed a little cross at my hesitation. "What do you mean, 'what the heck'?" she sighed. "Didn't you say you didn't want to catch another cold?"

"I-I'm just saying I can wait for a little bit while you bathe. A few minutes wouldn't bother me. I'm not gonna – "

"Yeah right! A few minutes are more than enough for you to get sick! And another thing if you haven't noticed yet: we're wasting precious seconds talking here."

I paused, trying to think of a suitable counter to her argument. But she was pushy and impatient. Before I knew it, she had grabbed me by the wrist, dragged me to the bathroom and launched me in like a cannonball. Then she stepped inside and locked us both in, before barricading the door by standing in front of it, to prevent me from leaving. In a sense I was glad that she cared about my well-being but the way with which she went about it was scary.

"Clothes off," she grumbled, tossing aside her soaked sleeveless jacket. "Now! Get on with it already before you start sneezing! And sneezing is disgusting."

"N-No way!"

"Don't be so stubborn. It wouldn't help your health."

Eri had an attitude that spelt "well, like, whatever" and it came to light again as she nonchalantly slid her skirt off right in front of me. She was going to strip off everything and had absolutely no qualms about doing it in the presence of a boy. Yikes! Her quick hands were fingering the hem of her crop top and I barely had time to turn my back to her before I heard the sound of it being peeled off.

A couple more similar muffled noises later, they stopped altogether. Oh god, I knew what this meant. I had seen her in various states of undress before, be it her in underwear or a bath towel, and while all of those times may have been uniformly startling, at least she was wearing _something_ and the shock wasn't so bad. But now…

I heard her from behind me. "I'm gonna help myself to the shower. What're you waiting for?"

The shower cubicle was to my right and I swiveled my head to the left to avoid catching sight of her. "Are you telling me to join you? !"

"Yeah, well, it does save water this way, right? I'm just being practical. It's gonna be a real problem if you fall ill – "

"No! L-Look, Eri. _You_ take the shower, _I'll_ use a pail and water. Deal?" I grabbed a nearby stool and bucket and set them down on the floor in front of the wall tap. "I know you don't want me to catch the sniffles but I'm not about to share a shower with you when you're totally naked."

"Are you saying I look ugly when I'm naked? !"

"Huh? N-No, that's not it. You actually look nice when you're – NO, dammit! That's not I'm talking about right now! Listen, okay? ! We're gonna bathe separately because that's what I feel is the best way to go about things."

"Your choice, I guess," she mumbled. "I'm okay if you want to join me in the shower though. Really, I am."

"You're a weirdo."

"Ugh, shut up and get bathing already."

Behind me there was the sound of the shower curtain being slid closed, followed by the steady hiss of water jetting out of a showerhead. I had no idea if Eri was a great big pervert or if she really was being down-to-earth.

At the very least, I should take a quick splash and then get the heck out of there before she was done. She usually took her time with her showers so escaping with my sanity intact shouldn't be too difficult as long as I was fast. As I took my wet clothes off I found some solace in the knowledge that there was a curtain separating the two of us. We couldn't see each other. That was a bit of a relief, though I was also a teensy bit disappointed… I mean, one flimsy piece of plastic was all that stood between me and any man's wildest dream. So tempting… It would be peanuts to whisk it open, but I just couldn't. But supposing _she_ did, and I happened to look her way, I could see her… I could see… everything. And then…

No! No more of that! NO! ! !

I sat on the stool, pouring water over myself and mulling over today's events. Let's see… Over the course of this date, we had chilled out near the Statue of Hachiko, gone shopping for clothes, went for karaoke, had sweet potatoes… and then came along the thunderstorm. Quite good, if it weren't for the rain.

Ah, but I mustn't think about it in such a bad way… At least now I got to share the same bathroom with Eri!

Er…

What was with me? ! It's normal to think about doing this and that with the one you love – Eri herself said that. But wasn't I being a bit too perverted? !

Her voice was humming a tune through the shower curtain. It quickly progressed into a nameless song where she was stringing notes together in no order. Somehow, hearing her go "La la la" was making me grow uneasy. Maybe it was because the images of her that I was conjuring up were getting worse. Hmmm… singing while getting herself nice and soapy and luscious was a bit…

I couldn't stand it. "Eri!"

Her singing ground to a halt. "What?"

"C-Could you tone down on the soprano stuff? It's… I dunno."

"Can't a girl sing while she's in the bath?" She sounded a little annoyed.

"S-Sorry! It's just… it's just that you're… I mean… Ah, forget it. Sorry I said anything at all. P-Please carry on."

"You're weird," she said after a pause. Well, maybe I was, but in these circumstances it couldn't be helped… "Anyway, Neku, are you done bathing yet?"

"Uh, no… Not yet."

"Goodie!" she chirped. The sound of the shower curtain being pulled back startled me. She… She was already done and was coming out of the cubicle? ! And why'd she say "Goodie!" anyway? !

I was about to scream bloody murder about how she should have waited for me to finish and get out before getting dressed, but she stopped me short. "Neku, I found this really nice brush and sponge in the shower. Let me wash your back for you!"

For a moment nothing happened. And then…

…that was when I screamed. "WHAT? !"

"I'll scrub your back and make it all nice and clean! C'mon, it's fun!"

In my panic, I was about to turn back to face her but I quickly remembered she wasn't wearing anything, so my eyes stayed locked on the wall before me. Yeah, that was close (though still disappointing)! "Eri! Do you realize we're both naked right now? ! Oh, heck, that's right. I'm naked too, so don't look at me!"

I could tell from how close her voice was that she was right behind me. And fresh from the shower too. But her words, spoken with a shrug in her tone, made her sound more clueless than perverted.

"Whuh? What's there to be ashamed of? Don't people see each other naked all the time at the local _onsen_ (public bath)? I'm sure you've seen your fair share of – "

"But there are separate baths for men and women!"

"Well… there's the mixed section…"

"That's not the point!"

Here we were, a guy and girl in our birthday suits arguing over what was considered normal, but nothing about what was happening had even a shred of normality to it! Talk about hypocrisy at its very worst!

"Wh-Why do you want to scrub my back so badly anyway? !" I demanded. "It's kind of odd, you know? !"

She didn't even take a moment to think. "But you've been so nice to me today, Neku… I just wanted to show my appreciation. I know a back scrub isn't enough to repay you for what you've done for me, but nothing comes to mind so far as to what I can do for you, so… I'd like you to accept it for now. Please? It's my way of saying thanks." There was a hint of a smile in her voice, not a sardonic one of course, but a kind and genuine one.

I didn't think today's date would affect her so greatly. My heart was thumping even harder on top of the palpitations I was already having from knowing we were both in the buff at the moment. She actually enjoyed it… so that couldn't be bad… No, of course it couldn't! This was great news!

But on another note, Eri's the type to get what she wants no matter what. So I could protest all I wanted but she'd still want to wash my back. Could I escape from her when she wanted to feed me ice-cream in public? So this would be the same story. There was no getting around it so I gave in.

I muttered sheepishly, "Just… Just don't break my skin and stuff…"

"Hee hee! You'll see. You'll enjoy it!" In more ways than one…

I just sat there feeling a mixture of awkwardness and pleasure as she went about her business. I'd never had someone wash my back before, and by a girl no less, so this was something I had never experienced before. She seemed to know her stuff, as it felt soothing having my back scrubbed. And for some reason I couldn't begin to comprehend, she was enjoying herself too. How cute her giggling was. Hmmm… I guess I could enjoy this a little longer myself…

"So Neku," she said, "how's it feel?"

"Um… it… it feels great."

Her laughter was gentle and serene. "I knew you'd like it! This is a good sponge you've got here. Why, I was using it on myself just now and boy did it feel out of this world!"

"What? !" I spluttered. "You mean the sponge you're using now is the exact same one you used when you were taking your shower? !"

"Uh-huh. Why?"

"Oh…! Um, n-nothing. Nothing at all. Ahaha…" The sponge that she was using to soap herself up all over was now being used to scrub my back? ! Wasn't that like, I dunno, indirect sex or something? ! I had to stick two fingers up my nostrils to stop the blood from flowing out. An active imagination was a dangerous thing…

I changed the subject to try and calm my nose.

"You seem good at this. Have you done this before, Eri?"

"Yup. Sometimes when Shiki and I hit the onsen, we'd wash each other's backs. Guess I got most of my practice from there. Exfoliation is important for a girl's skin, you know? I mean, you may be a guy, but taking care of your skin is just as important too."

Shiki, huh… Hearing her name would have set my heart a-flutter before, but now… it was just a name. She was still a friend I treasured, yes. But whatever special feelings I used to have towards her were now no more.

Speaking of which, where did Eri's feelings lie? I wanted to find out but didn't know how to start asking. Thankfully she made things simpler for me.

"Hey, Neku?" she said cautiously. "I don't like bringing this up as much as you do, but… we've both had our own failures in love, huh?"

I could tell she was treading carefully so I did the same. "Wh-What do you mean?"

"Well, Shiki's taken. And as for me, I just broke up with my boyfriend. So in a sense, we're in the same boat."

"Yeah…" My single-word response was solemn.

"I don't know when it'll be, but at some point in time, I intend to pursue another relationship."

"…Me too." If, I figured, we could empathise with each other, and share our common grievances… then perhaps I could subtly nudge myself into her heart and she'd do the same for me. Maybe that's how soul mates are born?

Curious, I pressed her, "So what kind of guy are you looking for? Tall, handsome, debonair with class…?" Her answer surprised me.

"I'm tired of those kinds of guys now. They sweep you off your feet and make you think they're something special. Then you get to know them better and you realize they're not the dream guys you want, and you get disappointed. I should know. Why else do you think my past relationships lasted only three months at most?"

"Wow… three months? That's short, Eri."

"And it's good it was that way!" she huffed. "With every new boyfriend, it's three months I'm never getting back, you know!"

"True, yeah. So anyway, what'd you like to see in a guy?" Man, my palms were getting sweaty from anticipation! What kind of man turns Eri on? Would I be that man?

"To be frank," she said, sponging around my shoulder, "all I'm looking for is a guy who'll love me for who I am. I don't even need him to be cute or rich or anything; he just needs to be nice and sensitive and be someone I can be comfortable around. I may look the demanding type, but I'm actually a simple girl at heart."

"That's hard to believe coming from you," I teased.

"And that's rude, you know. But enough about me! What about you? What kind of girl are you aiming for?"

I hesitated to answer. Suddenly faced with such a question, I didn't know how to respond. I could talk about anything and everything with Eri, but if I said the wrong thing, things would get incredibly awkward between us. The trick was to be subtle…

"Do you like your girl to be shy and dainty?" chuckled Eri, enjoying herself. "Or perhaps you've got your eye on a plucky tomboy. Maybe you're a fan of the rebellious type. Or, heaven forbid, maybe you like… older women?"

"Huh? ! Older women? Of course not! That's sick!"

"Then don't keep me waiting! If there's a particular pedigree of dream girl that you fancy, I wanna hear it. So go on, don't hold back. Tell me!"

I cleared my throat. "Erm… well… She should be nice… and have a warm heart, and – "

That was when I felt a light slap on my head. "Don't just give me some standard answer! That's boring. Give me specifics! Details, details!"

"Wh-What kind of details are you talking about?"

She got to work lathering up my other shoulder. "I just think you'll need a girl who's tailored to your needs, so you're gonna need someone really special. That dream girl you're searching for must be specialized in certain things! For example, she'll need ninja reflexes… so she can plug your nose in as soon as your nosebleeds start!"

"Again my lack of control over my nasal functions becomes the highlight… You're cruel, Eri…"

How she laughed her pretty little head off! "It's practically a requirement, but she'll be really busy with the way you are!"

"Well… at least I know I'd love a girl as funny as you are. Life wouldn't be boring that way."

"As funny as me, huh? Aha, now we're getting somewhere! So funny girls are your type. Yup, nothing wrong with that." This caused her to pause for a second. "Then… how about me as a girlfriend?"

Upon hearing that, I was so surprised that I choked on… wait, there was nothing to choke on, but I choked anyway! How could I not with the things she says!

"Eri? !"

Her trademark playful attitude was reaching new heights. There was that painfully distinct seductive air about her as she spoke, an air that would weaken the knees of men (I should know). "Mmm? Did I hear you scream why? But I say, why not? I do fit your criteria, you know."

"I didn't mean – ungh? !"

Eri laid both of her hands on my shoulders and leaned in close so she could speak in my ear. She blew all over it, very slowly she did it and on purpose. Her breath gave me shivers down the spine as it tickled my lobe. Yikes!

"Is having me as your partner for life such a bad thing?" she breathed. "Think about it… We'll see each other's faces in the morning when we wake up, I'll make you breakfast, and I'll tease you every single day but you wouldn't get fed up with it because we're madly in love with each other. And then at night…"

"Wh-What do you mean 'at night'? !" Urk… How did she see through me? That was exactly what I wanted! Right down to the teasing part! Even the night part!

Eri was obviously getting a sort of high from playing massacre with my hormones. But she wasn't done yet – no, if she was anything to go by then it was just the beginning. "Wouldn't it be really something," she added with a sigh, "if we could scrub each other's backs in the bath and flirt like we are now? Must be fun, even if it's a bit mental, huh?"

"W-We're not flirting! And you're right about it being mental!" My teeth were chattering not from the cold, but from… you know.

I was waiting for her to retaliate with a good comeback, but didn't get a single reply. By now she'd have said something witty; after all, it wasn't like her to be tongue-tied. What was going on? First she's all flirty and now she's… quiet?

"Ahaha… I'm just kidding, Neku." The tone of her voice was strangely subdued and a little sad. "You know me, always pulling your leg. I mean, me cooking breakfast is way out there. I can't even boil an egg. Oh well…"

"Eri? …What's wrong, Eri?"

"'What's wrong'? Heh… you're really perceptive." She scooped some water from my pail with a pan and spread it over my back to wash away the soap, and she was obviously taking the moment to think of how to put her thoughts into words. "Okay, hear me out, Neku. I know it sounds silly and maybe even a waste of time to you, but please listen to me for a while."

"Sure, go ahead." What was it that she wanted to tell me? Was this another one of her secrets?

"To be really honest with you – and it embarrasses me so – I can't cook, Neku. And… I can't sew, or do a whole bunch of things that other people probably have no problem doing. And this has been bothering me plenty."

"What's wrong with not being able to do some things? Everyone has their own handicaps, you and me included."

"But if I'm in a relationship, and I can't fix a decent breakfast for my boyfriend or even mend his clothes when they're torn, then I wouldn't make a good girlfriend at all."

"Are you worried that you wouldn't be good enough for your next boyfriend?"

"Yeah. All I can do is fashion design, but it's not gonna help me make lunch or dinner, or patch up a hole in someone's trousers. And there are lots of people out there who can do these things and more. Look at Shiki! She can sew, and make my designs come to life. Without her, I can't do squat. And a lot of girls in my class can at least make something great in the kitchen. Any one of them is better than me!

"It hurts, you know, Neku? Whenever I see one of my gal pals give homemade cookies to some guy, or huddle in a corner busy knitting a scarf, I feel terrible because it reminds me of all the things I can't do. I… At the very least, I want to be able to cook _something_, but I always end up busy from college stuff anyway, and besides, I don't know where to start so I'm pretty much stuck at square one…"

It's true that Eri was lacking in a few basic skills, but I never thought it was that big an issue for her. It certainly wasn't an issue for me. But this revealed yet another serious side of her – the dark side of the moon no one ever saw – and while I must guiltily admit that it made me even more fascinated with her, I must also add that my desire to care for her grew even stronger. As a gentleman, it was my job to comfort a lady in a state of distress. And right now, inexperienced as I may be, I did my best to do just that.

She had finally finished talking, and let out a sigh that billowed over my damp back. I didn't want her to wallow in self-loathing any longer, so I bravely spoke up:

"Hang on, Eri. I get that you're worried you can't do certain things, but just because you can't cook or sew doesn't mean you wouldn't be able to keep a guy. If he really loves you, he'll love you despite all of your faults."

"Are you trying to cheer me up? Heh… Thanks, but the thing is, I… I dunno if that works, Neku."

"Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. It's only natural. Fashion design may not help make good food or repair clothes, but it's still a skill that's mighty useful. After all, it gives rise to clothes that help people feel more confident when they wear them! When you think up of all those designs that eventually make it from the drawing board to the shelves in a boutique… have you stopped to consider just how many people you've helped look and feel better about themselves when they buy your clothes? Fashion design is something you should be proud of!"

"Huh… I never thought about it that way. When you put it like that…"

Good… She was starting to understand. "And if… if you're still worried that you can't cook and stuff, I… I can teach you."

She gasped. "You'll teach… me? How to cook, you mean?"

"Yeah, why not? I've got some easy recipes that are just perfect for a beginner like you. If you want to, we could spend one day per week helping you learn the ropes of basic cooking. We'll take our time; nothing too tough… Ah! Saturday or Sunday would be great. Oh wait, that depends on you, of course. I wouldn't force you into anything; it's your choice."

There was a few long seconds where nothing was spoken. Or rather, I knew she was struggling to say something, but didn't know what to say. She must be contemplating what to do. If she wanted to cook, she'd have to sacrifice some of her free time, which I imagined was spent on shopping and outings with the girls. I wondered if she was really willing to carry it through.

Her voice was barely a mumble when she replied. "I… I wanna learn to cook. I'm tired of not being able to even cook anything. N-Neku, could… could you teach me? Pretty please?"

"Of course!" I was genuinely glad for her that she wanted to improve herself. And as an added bonus, we would be spending even more time with each other, which would bring us closer… That's a good thing!

She was apparently so overcome with happiness that she wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a big hug from behind.

"Thank you!" she squealed. "I'll be counting on you, Sensei!"

"Calling me Sensei is a bit much," I gulped. Oh god! I could hardly believe that a naked girl was hugging me. Her breasts were supple and firm and felt so good as they squashed against my back… What a fantastic turn of events this was to be sure, something the pervert in me simply had to savour to the fullest assuming I didn't die from a heart attack or loss of blood (whichever came first)!

"You're my teacher now," she cooed into my ear. "It's only natural that I address you with the proper amount of respect. Right, Sensei?"

"…J-Just call me by my name."

"Hee hee. Alright, alright, I was just kidding about that."

A sideways glance at her showed that she was smiling from ear to ear. It looked like her spirits had at last returned to their former glory. That was good. I was glad that I was able to be a great friend to her, to be able to be there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on.

…Her breasts planted firmly on my back were still distracting the heck out of me, though. And the thing was, now that she was happy, she was hugging me tighter. And of course, you should know what that meant…

She whispered, "Thanks, Neku. You're a nice guy."

"We're buddies," I muttered simply. "Buddies help each other."

"Yeah!" she giggled happily. "We're the best of friends! We make the most awesome team! I scrub your back and you scrub mine! Right?"

"Th-That's not how the idiom goes."

"Tee hee! Well, whatever works, Sensei! We'll sort out a schedule with my cooking lessons later, okay? But in the meantime, bath time is far from over, and I've already given your back the squeaky clean treatment, so… wanna scrub mine?"

"Huh? !"

"What?" Whether she was teasing me or being truthfully oblivious, it was hard to tell. "Is something wrong?"

"S-Scrub _your_ back, you say? !" I stammered. "Do you realize just how indecent you just sounded, Eri? ! You scrubbing my back, I can handle somewhat. But the other way around is simply too much for me! I don't think it's right for me to do it!"

"What's the big deal with a naked back?" That tone of hers was more quizzical than playful, so she wasn't joking. She was so accustomed to nudity that she didn't think anything of it.

Her warped reasoning continued thus, "It's really fun, Neku. Plus I love it when someone sponges me up – it's sensational, you know; the tepid foam slinking down my spine! But most importantly, I can't really reach my back, so if you could help me out, that'd be just wonde– "

Not even my vice-like fingers could prevent the blood from gushing right out of my nose in a spectacular torrent of crimson death. It travelled in an arc which splattered onto the floor a good foot or two away. And because the floor was already wet to begin with, the blood quickly spread out into a frightening reddish cloud.

It was difficult to know from the gasp Eri made whether she was shocked or what. She did love her horror movies, so she might be impressed. But in any case, in a rare moment of clarity, she recognized the severity of my condition.

"Neku? M-Maybe you should get out of the bath real quick for now…"

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri got out first, and when I emerged from the bathroom, she was already sitting on the couch. The television was on and she had helped herself to an ice-cream from the fridge. I knew she was an honorary housemate, in a way, but… just how comfortable was she in my home that she could take and do whatever she wanted?

When she saw me, she called me over. "Hey, come on and sit here!" She patted the seat next to her on the couch in a very friendly and carefree way, motioning me to join her.

Normally, if a gal pal invited me to sit next to her, I'd be fine. But…

"Neku, what's with the hesitation? Come on! This program they're showing on TV right now is pretty interesting. The mystery of the _tsuchinoko_. It's this mystical snake creature found in forests and is said to fetch lots of money if you can catch one and sell it. But… it can jump super high to evade predators, and in a pinch, it can spit venom that's really really poisonous, like rrrgh…!" To emphasize the creature's deadliness, she made her hand into a claw-like shape. "Intriguing stuff, huh?"

I just stood there, hesitant to join her.

"Um, am I boring you?" she said meekly. "I'm sorry if I am…"

"No, I do think the _tsuchinoko_ has its charm and all, but… do you expect me to sit next to someone who's wearing only a towel?"

She blinked and looked down at her body, which was clad in… what else? A towel. Yeah. Ahem. But instead of recognizing her lack of etiquette – not that I expected her to – she said goofily, "Oh, that's true. Want me to take it off?"

"N-No, that's not it! Keep it on!"

Cheeky as usual, her hands reached for the hem of her towel. I snapped both palms at her and waved them in a desperate "no" gesture. "I said KEEP IT ON!"

One look at my panicking self was all it took to turn her into a giggling machine. I must have seemed like quite the fool letting her laugh at me. Oh well, this was an occurrence I had long gotten used to by now, but a part of me wished she could be less strenuous on my sanity. Her towel stayed on, though, so thank heavens for small favours. Seeing that there wouldn't be any more (deliberate) wardrobe malfunctions, I decided it was safe enough and joined her on the couch amid the girlish laughter and her slapping her knee.

"Gosh darn it, Neku," she gasped, "how are you so funny? I just can't resist teasing you; it's almost like if I stopped I'd get cold turkey, ha ha ha!"

I slouched deeper into my seat. "I-I'll take that as a compliment… I think."

"That's the spirit! That's one of the things I like about you!"

She was now laughing so hard she had to clutch onto my arm for support. Was I such a riot to her? I didn't really mind her doing all this to me because it wasn't like she was bullying me or anything. There was nothing malevolent about her playful nature. She just loved to have fun. At least she wasn't a sulky, moody one. I'd hate to spend the rest of my life with someone like that.

The laughter petered away as she peered into my face until she apparently her supply of "ha ha ha's" ran out. Her eyes… they had this beautiful smoky colour and I was hopelessly mesmerized. We gazed at each other for a good chunk of time, saying nothing. The silence grew so overpowering that I could stand it no longer and I spoke up, but even then it was but a mere whisper.

"Eri?"

"To be serious for a sec," she said, "I had a lot of fun today. I just wanted to tell you that. I could tell you were putting in a lot of effort just to make me feel better, so… thank you, Neku. Thank you so much for the date."

"Um… uh…" After the hell she must have had to endure with her ex-boyfriend, it was nice that she was back to being her usual cheery self. However, as I was not used to being thanked by a girl in such a heartfelt manner, I felt a little strange and didn't know how best to respond, though I was also happy. Finally stumped, I just scratched my head and gave her a sheepish grin. "Ahaha… Well… I wonder what I should say…"

"You can say 'you're welcome' for starters."

"No, I mean, uh, don't worry about it!" Her gaze on me lingered and I quickly became self-conscious, opting to stare at the floor instead. "It's not like I did anything particularly outstanding."

She shook her head and refuted my humble claim. "That's not true. There were so many cool things you've done for me today. You helped me with my shopping, you took me out for a blast of a time at that karaoke bar, your advice made me feel a lot more confident about myself, and you're really going to teach me how to cook. And… And you even introduced me to the previously unexplored world of sweet potatoes! Neku, you blew me away today. Seriously. You're a real man!"

Whoa, I couldn't believe it. Was she actually impressed with me? I just acted from the heart, did what I felt was right, and… well, I guess being sincere and gentlemanly was the way to go. Frankly, I was surprised how well it turned out.

Her many praises for me got me all embarrassed, though. "Th-Thanks, Eri. I'm glad you had fun. If you're happy, then… so am I."

"Hee hee! It's good that you finally acknowledge how awesome you really are."

She gave my shoulder one more friendly squeeze, and we went back to the _tsuchinoko_ program. Or rather she was, as I couldn't focus. So many things were going on in my head, and I needed to sort it all out.

"Um, before I forget, Neku," she muttered, "don't be discouraged!"

"Don't be discouraged? What do you mean?"

The caring way in which she spoke was genuine, but… "You weren't feeling too great in the bath earlier, but you can always scrub my back at a later time, okay, Neku? There's always a next –"

_Splurt._

"– time? Neku? ! Oh gosh, you've got another nosebleed! It's totally gushing onto the floor! ! !"

Yeah, next time… because until then, I needed a blood transfusion.


	9. A Rival (?) Appears!

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 9)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Neku, there you are! C'mon, hurry up!"

Eri waved at me from the bus-stop, and I scampered over in a hurry. The bus had already long arrived by the time I spotted it and the most of the passengers had already boarded. She and I would be the last to get on.

As we took our seats, she chided, "Man, it's not like you to be so tardy."

Out of breath from all the running, I did my best to talk through painful gasps. "Let's just say I had a… slight electronic malfunction."

"You mean your alarm clock didn't go off today?"

"You're a sharp one, Eri."

"I can't believe you could be so careless!" she sighed in slight exasperation. "And today's an important day too! Seriously, I was wondering what happened to you."

"Sorry…"

I felt guilty that I made her worry, but at the same time, my excitement was growing. Like she said, today was an important day, but not because there were exams or even classes to be had.

Eri's gripes about being hopeless in the kitchen led me to offer to teach her how to cook, and after she gladly accepted, we came to a mutual agreement: every Saturday I would pop by her place and teach her one simple recipe. There would be active participation on her part so that she could gain precious hands-on experience. Finally there would be a use for the kitchen at her home that she had been neglecting all this time. And if, prior to her lessons, some ingredients were lacking, we would go shopping for some. Just like now.

That's right… Today was Saturday, the day of her very first cooking lesson with me. We were planning to make shrimp tempura and I knew we would have a good time – especially Eri – because of how visibly excited she was. But we didn't have any shrimp, or anything for that matter, since all she had in her fridge was cans of beer and… more cans of beer (yeah, she was quite the drinker). So here we were taking the bus to a supermarket I frequented which was in another part of the city.

"This is gonna be fun," said a hyped-up Eri. "After today I'll be able to make tempura. I can't wait!"

I chuckled and found it cute that she was willing to dive right in. "Glad to hear that. This isn't particularly hard, but you've got to pay close attention."

"Yes, Sensei!"

"Y-You can drop the 'Sensei' part already, you know…"

XOXOXOXOXO

The supermarket was one of the branches of a famous chain store so it was a vast place where one could purchase all kinds of things, mostly food. We got ourselves a trolley to dump our goods in and off we went.

"Alright, Eri, let's get started." I fished a shopping list out of my pocket and we browsed through it together. "What we need is shrimp, flour, eggs, seasonings and a few other bits. Let's get our shrimp last because we don't want it to thaw out too much while we're shopping."

"Mmm, yeah, that makes sense."

She was gazing at everything in what seemed like wonder, making it look like she had never stepped foot inside a supermarket in her life. Not that I was surprised considering how she never cooked at all before this…

"What is it, Eri?" I asked. "You look like you've just landed in another planet. You… have been to a supermarket at least once before, right?"

"Of course I have!" she huffed. "But I just had a thought. If all the shelves here were filled with clothes instead of food…"

"Eri… You're drooling."

"How can I not? ! The thought of this whole place being one giant boutique is just…" – she paused to wipe her mouth dry – "…It just boggles the mind, doesn't it? ! Just think, Neku! Aisles upon aisles of blouses and jeans! All the brands you can think of, from D+B to Pavo Real! And because the shop's so darn big, there'll be more fitting rooms so no more waiting for slow customers to get out so you can use them! It'd be the ultimate fashion-lover's utopia!" – now she was getting wrapped up in her fantasies and hugging herself like an idiot – "Ah… thinking about it gives me the shivers. I could just die."

"Well, don't. We have shopping to do." I flicked her lightly on the forehead to wake her up. "And focus."

"Way to spoil a girl's dream," she mumbled, rubbing her head. "But you're right. We're here for food, not clothes."

"Glad you've come back to your senses at last," I deadpanned. "Now, shall we start?"

"Yeah! First thing on the list is flour, right? Then let's go get some. C'mon!"

She didn't think twice about holding onto my arm like a bride would. It wasn't the most appropriate way to appear in a public place, but it did make me feel very happy inside. Arm service, as it was. Now it was hard for _me_ to focus. And the way she was bombarding me with culinary questions was so cute and innocent that I was struggling to keep myself from melting. Well, half of those questions were more dietary-based than anything, but…

"Tempura has a nice flavour," said Eri as we passed by a few aisles, "and the crispy texture makes it fun to eat, but… I'm a little worried about the calories. Isn't there a way to make it healthier or something?"

I explained patiently, "There have been attempts to shallow-fry it, with varying degrees of success. But normally it's deep-fried to give it a beautiful and even coating, and you'll have to use a wok and plenty of oil for it to come out right."

"Oil? !" She gave a horrified gasp at the mere mention of the word. "H-How much? !"

"Enough to fully cover the tempura. We're looking at about three inches deep."

"Oh my god! Three inches? ! The calories! Just think how many of the nasty little things are lurking around in each serving! It'd be murder on my figure!"

I expected her to react like this, but I had prepared myself for such an occasion. I tried my very best to subdue her worries, though I wasn't sure if it would help.

"Eri," I said kindly, "deep-frying is unavoidable when making tempura, but you need only dip it in oil very briefly. Shrimp cooks extremely fast too, so it's all for the better that shrimp tempura doesn't stay in the oil for too long. Sure, it's still deep-frying, but it's not that bad when you fry it that quickly. Besides, it's not like you eat tempura everyday."

This helped her to calm down somewhat. "Hmmm, you do make some valid points there. Tempura once in a blue moon shouldn't hurt too much. Still… there's got to be a way to make it healthier…" Then her eyes lit up; she had a brainwave, or what she felt was one, but really wasn't. "I know! We could add beer in the batter! I've got plenty at home!"

"H-How does that make it any healthier?" I sighed. "Although it's true that beer can be used to make batter. Our recipe doesn't call for that though…"

"Batter, huh… Wait, that's it! It's the batter that's the worst culprit! How could I not see that!" She gave herself a light slap on the forehead, as though she finally understood. "In that case, we can just make the tempura without the batter! Problem solved."

"Then it's not tempura in the first place!"

"Huh. Then there's no getting around it. I'll have to grin and bear it… and burn those calories later. Yup! An extra hour or two at the gym should do the trick! But don't worry, I can take it!"

"Ahaha… No need to go to extremes…" This girl could be hard to comprehend at times…

Out of curiosity, I spoke up, "Eri, is having a slim figure that important for you?"

She flashed a smirk at me. "Need you even ask, Neku? A girl's got to take care of her looks." Her gaze floated away to our empty trolley as we talked and she didn't look at me, like she was being serious and regarded physical appearance as an issue not to be taken lightly. In a way, that was true.

"Shibuya's a jungle," she continued. "It's full of girls who have what it takes to look good. I know appearances aren't everything that matters, but acting conservative all the time isn't going to get me a lot of attention. I'm not saying I love to be a celebrity like The Prince where people are always admiring me, but first impressions count, you know? It can give you an edge when it comes to finding work, or a boyfriend… I mean, it's only a slight edge and credentials are the most important thing at the end of the day, but I say you should make good use of every advantage you've got, right?"

In agreement I nodded. "Yeah. People wouldn't notice you immediately if you aren't much to look at. A cruel truth, to be sure…"

"I know, right? I'm single now too, and I really want to get into another relationship soon, so it's essential to stay in shape and look good if I want to get another guy's attention."

"Another guy…" I wondered if it could ever be me…

XOXOXOXOXO

Half of the items on our shopping list were ticked off, sitting comfortably in the trolley. Progress looked solid. I was feeling really good about today. Why was this? There were plenty of reasons, but one of them would be that we were walking side by side so it's almost like we were a couple. Ahaha… Such were the fancies of an active imagination, I guess…

I sneaked a sideways peek at my beautiful friend, expecting to see her smiling and looking very sunny.

Instead, she looked restless. Her fingers were fiddling with her hair one too many times. More than once she adjusted her cap for no reason. And she was stealing glances back at the aisles we just passed. Was something bothering her? Or, worse still… was there a guy who caught her attention? ! Perish the thought!

"What's wrong, Eri?"

"Um… Neku…" She bit her lip and clutched at my sleeve. "There's something I simply have to get. Or rather, a _few_ somethings… If you don't mind, could you come with? I wouldn't be long."

"Sure, I don't see why not. But you don't have to be so nervous about it…"

"Th-Thanks… Um, it's right this way…" I followed her and the place she wanted to go so desperately was a mere few steps away. What was it that was bugging her so, though?

I found my answer soon enough.

As soon as I poked round the corner into the aisle, out of nowhere a giant creature made out of packets of chocolates came hurtling towards me. Panic seized me for a good second or two. What in the world was this monster supposed to be? ! The snack golem took this opportunity to step right up to my trolley before dismantling itself and pouring the pieces of its body inside. I watched, in bewilderment and a very slight amount of horror, as a mountain of its own body parts began to pile up.

So distracted was I by the very sight that I didn't look up. If I did, I might have understood a lot quicker the circumstances and the truth behind this creature's existence.

Eri was in the process of loading junk food into the trolley, and in the snap of a finger I deduced that the mysterious Snack Thing was actually her carrying a whole stack of chocolates. My confusion gave way to exasperation.

"Eri!"

Startled, like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar, she squeaked, "Y-Yes?"

"May I ask just what is with all this stuff? !"

She gulped visibly and her answer was weak, like she was hoping it would suffice and work for me. "Um… supplies?"

Seeing how my frown wasn't going to go away anytime soon, she switched strategies. She clasped her hands together in a praying gesture, as a very respectful form of apology. "I'm so sorry, Neku! But I simply have to get these!"

"Eri," I huffed, "we're not here to buy candies and stuff. Or have you forgotten why we're here?"

"Of course not. But… whenever I go into a supermarket, I'd always feel inclined to visit the snacks aisle, even when I know I wouldn't be buying anything! The thing is, the moment I get near those chocolates, and they stare at me with those imploring eyes…" – she covered her face in mortal fear – "…I can't stand it! They're just begging me to feast on them! To sink my teeth into their sweet creamy goodness!"

"…Chocolates aren't alive, Eri. They don't seduce people."

"B-But they're so delicious… There's nothing quite like a good solid bar or a bag of tasty, chunky nuggets. Even a simple packet of _M&M's_ is enough to make my day."

"I thought you're the one who was going on about calories and everything."

"Ugh! I… I wouldn't deny that." She had the pained face of someone who had lost a debate. "But I couldn't just leave them alone… They're like my babies."

"…You eat your babies? That's just… no."

Now she was beginning to get fed up with being pushed as far as the feeling of guilt could go. Her hands were balled into fists and they were shaking, not in rage but in desperation. "Okay, fine! You win this round, Neku. I give. However, I _must_ have my daily dose of endorphins that can only be acquired from a helping of chocolate! I _have_ to have some!"

"I get that you love chocolate," I said, "but you know as well as I do that we're here to shop for ingredients. If we spend so much of our money on all this junk, how're we going to even buy the rest of what we need for your cooking lesson later?"

"I… was, um, hoping I could haggle for a discount…"

"This is not some flea market where prices can be negotiated!" I nearly exploded. "It's a freaking supermarket! I'll let you buy just one thing, but you return the rest right this minute, young lady!"

"Ah…! Y-Yes, Sensei! Forgive me, Sensei!"

I had never seen someone move so fast in my life. One second there was a pile of things in the trolley, and the next second, it had been neatly and properly returned to their original places. Now, only a single _TimeOut_ was left, looking all lonely and pitiful.

She looked pretty pitiful herself as I ushered her out of the snack aisle and we finally went back to where we left off. I mean, if chocolate's another one of her love interests, it's only natural she'd be depressed. Heck, she looked like she had just gone through a breakup. I tried to tell myself that it couldn't be helped, but seeing her look so disappointed made me feel very bad about it all. Plus that aura of negativity around her was suffocating…

Ah heck, now it was all awkward. Just what I wanted…

"I'm sorry, Neku," she mumbled sheepishly. "I… lost control of myself back there. You know, with my chocolate cravings and all."

"Uh…" What should I say? "It's true that you did go overboard, but I'm sorry for speaking so sharply to you. Still…"

"Oh, no, see… I was wrong! Y-You were right to tell me off! If I hadn't, then my chocolate-loving self would have taken over and I'd have jeopardized this shopping trip."

Was this one of those weird bipolar personality things? Creepy…

"Well, anyway, Neku… I'm glad you stopped me."

I felt that a win-win was the best way to go about things. "Look, Eri, when we go shopping for ingredients again for future lessons, I'd like you to keep in mind that we've got a limited budget. We can't buy everything. That said, if you're just as crazy about chocolate as you are about fashion… then I guess it wouldn't hurt to increase our budget just a little bit more."

She turned to me with a look of disbelief. "You mean… next time it's okay if I buy some for myself? As in, really really?"

"When I say 'some', I don't mean a truckload, okay? ! We're not the richest people in the world, you know. And most importantly, you need to stay focused on the task at hand!" Man… here I was compromising for her again… not that it's a big problem. It's just that if she knew the slightest inkling about moderation, this fiasco wouldn't have to happen.

Without warning, she pulled me into a hug, happy with my generosity. "Thank you, Sensei! You're the best teacher ever! ! !"

Everyone from customers to sales assistants was staring. This was a situation I had seen many times by now, but it was always embarrassing every single time.

"I told you already, Eri… Stop calling me Sensei! And don't hug me in public!"

XOXOXOXOXO

Our shopping trip went by without any further incidents. So now we were just waiting at the bus-stop with necessities in hand to go back to Eri's house, where our tryst… I mean, cooking lesson would take place.

Of course it wouldn't be a tryst… We weren't even going out. Somewhere in my heart I sure wished as heck it was one though! That'd make things pretty interesting… Mmm… I could see it in my mind's eye now…

"_N-Neku!" cried Eri. "I'm so sorry. I burnt the tempura!"_

_Her failure came as no big surprise, considering how she had no prior experience in the kitchen. And I knew she would improve over time, so some encouragement was in order. "It's no big deal," I said, patting her on the head. "This is your very first time frying tempura. Sure, the result isn't what we're looking for, but it's a commendable effort. You'll definitely get it next time, so keep practicing!"_

"_B-But… I made a mess of the kitchen in the process! And… And I totally wasted our ingredients!"_

"_None of that's a big deal. If the kitchen needs cleaning, we can just mop it up. And we can always get more ingredients later. What's important is that you learnt something!"_

"_Neku…" Touched by my kindness, Eri lurched forward and gave me a big hug. "Neku…! I'm so glad you're my friend! There's no guy better than you are! Marry me!"_

_I returned her hug and cleared my throat, adopting a debonair tone in my voice to ready myself for the moment of truth. "To be honest, I've wanted to ask you for your hand in marriage for a long time. But since you beat me to it, I shall be graceful enough to give you my answer. So, Eri…" I held her at arm's length, eyes piercing into her soul, and then with neither hesitation nor a single doubt, I took a deep breath and then said the magic words…_

WHAP!

"Ow! E-Eri, what's the deal? You just smacked me in the head!"

"Yeah, I sure did," she huffed. "But that's because you had this goofy grin on your face and it was getting unbearable real quick. What were you dreaming about anyway?"

"Um… n-nothing in particular… Yup."

"…You're a strange guy, Neku. And knowing you, you were probably thinking of something perverted."

"Th-That's not true!" I blurted. "I was just thinking about… um…" Oh shoot, I couldn't tell her about what I was daydreaming about! That was a definite no-no! But I couldn't think of a valid excuse quickly enough, so I looked like a fool leaving her waiting too long for my reply.

"Cat got your tongue?" she sighed. "Then I rest my case."

"I-It's not like that at all… Well, never mind, I guess."

I felt her hand on my head as she ruffled my hair. "Now, I'm not necessarily saying being dirty-minded is a bad thing. A bit of lust now and again keeps people happy and their relationships healthy. If no one had _any_ lewd thoughts, humans would go extinct."

"So are you saying you're essential for the survival of humanity? You've got some obscene ways yourself."

Anyone else would have been quite offended by my remarks, but we were so close she knew I was joking and she just laughed. "Ha ha ha! I see you finally recognize just how important I am to the future of our world. When I tease you and do things that you claim are inappropriate, I'm just helping to lay the foundation for the continued existence of our species. How else will we thrive if I don't do my part?" Then she mussed up my hair some more.

Rearranging my wayward hair, I smirked, "Don't mistake your actions for messiah duties and such, Eri."

She was about to come up right away with a retort when she happened to glance past me. Whatever or whoever she saw, it made her smile glaze over and the words just died in her throat. When I turned to look and see what was up, some guy was approaching us.

"I finally found you, Eri," he said. "Having fun?"

Who in the world was this person? He seemed slightly taller than me, and though his frame was lean, he was no living toothpick either, because it looked like he worked out somewhat. His head was swathed in bleached locks, and he had looks that rivaled even The Prince's, the kind that makes girls swoon at first glance. But the frown he wore on his chiseled face was not a nice thing to see and his tone was sarcastic, so I took an instant dislike to him.

Eri shuffled closer to me on the bench but made sure to stay behind me, using me as a shield. Who this person was I didn't know, but it was obvious she didn't like him. With a cold voice she was never heard to use, she spoke to him, "I thought I told you not to come around me. I told you I never want to see your face again."

He wasn't in the mood for niceties either, though he wasn't as harsh as she was. "You don't need to be so defensive around me. Can't we just get along?"

"Eri?" I whispered. "Who's this? Someone you know?"

"He's my ex-boyfriend," she replied aloud, not caring that he heard her. "The one I dumped."

His face twitched at her bluntness. "You didn't have to do that. We had a perfectly okay relationship going, and then you decide out of the blue that we can't be together. It really came as a shock to me."

"Do I look like I care?"

"How could you say that to me? Do you know how long I've been trying to reach you? I just needed to talk to you… But I can't get through your cell at all."

An irritated Eri snapped at him, "I had to change my cell phone number because of you and your stupid five-calls-per-day routine! Do you know how much of a bother you can be? !"

Whoa… He looked even more uncomfortable now, though I was secretly impressed he was even standing at all instead of disintegrating into dust. This ex-boyfriend of hers must have ticked her off badly enough for her to treat him like this. Remind me not to get on Eri's bad side…

He cleared his throat and attempted to get through to her once more.

"Eri, I'm going to be frank with you. I still love you. I'm still crazy over you. And I see you've gotten yourself a new boyfriend, but –"

W-Wait. Boyfriend? ! Was he talking about me? ! His words made me all flustered and by instinct I denied, but I didn't realize I was butting in. "Whoa, hang on," I stammered, growing red, "I-I'm not Eri's boyfriend. I'm just a friend. We're not going out – "

"Tch. Quiet, will you? I'm talking."

I recognized the annoyance in his voice and subsequently clammed up. Perhaps it was better for me not to say anything at this stage. This wasn't any of my business. I didn't need to interfere.

Still, being stuck right in the middle of a tense face-off between ex-lovers really sucked…

"Anyway," he continued, "I've been thinking about things, Eri. I think that maybe I've been wrong, and that maybe I upset you a tad too much. I've changed my ways for the better, so I want you to see and recognize that. I want you to know I'm sorry for everything."

I had a bad feeling. Even if she was angry with him and dumped him, what's to say she didn't have any residual feelings of romance for him?

We see it all the time in movies and manga and TV dramas. The hero and heroine break up on the worst of terms. After countless days of tears and tantrums and flinging plates at the wall, they meet up on the streets by chance. Their sudden meeting is awkward and they still don't like each other. But then the guy apologises because he realizes he was wrong. Suddenly all the memories of their happier times come flooding back to the girl, and she remembers how nice he can be. They make up, and after they promise unending love for each other, they become a happy couple again and walk off into the sunset and a brighter future. And then of course, the credits roll…

But wasn't that kind of situation exactly like what was happening now? ! Sure, there was no sunset right now because it was still morning, but… what if Eri was so moved by his words that she started to like him all over again? ! If they got back together, all of my efforts to ensnare her would be wasted! But as an outsider to this conversation, it would be bad of me to interrupt and protest and shoo him away, so I was pretty much stuck.

Talk about a tough situation!

"Eri," he added with a touch of emotion, "wouldn't you come back to me please? Only you can make me feel complete. I want to be able to spend my days with you in happiness."

Oh no… That was the clincher! The final words that would take a girl's feelings by storm and bend her to a guy's will! The ultimate strike into a girl's heart! I didn't want to see Eri faint into his arms, but it looked like I couldn't do anything. Was my love life with Eri done for? Was this the end? !

Eri was surprisingly quick with her reply.

"Don't wanna."

Huh?

The ex-boyfriend and I were similarly stunned, although you can imagine that our reasons for being so were different. While his feelings now were of shock and disbelief, mine were of relief and growing hope.

"Eri?" he mumbled. "Wh-What did you say?"

"I said I don't wanna go back to you," she said sharply. "Are you deaf? We're through. It's over. So please don't go on about it anymore, 'cause I'm not listening."

The ex-boyfriend was positively outraged and his feathers were ruffled. He demanded, "B-But why, Eri? ! Why wouldn't you accept me? !"

"I just don't like you anymore. 'Nuff said."

"I… I wouldn't accept that kind of answer, Eri! At least tell me where you think I'm wrong and I can change!"

There was a gleam in her eye that flashed dangerously, a sure sign of terrible things to come for anyone foolish enough to incur her wrath. You know what? Eri was standing behind me, but the moment I saw her deathly eyes, I wanted to be the one hiding behind her.

"Oh, so you want me to tell you," she said, her aura growing darker. "You really want to know? Then I'll do just that, and I wouldn't hold back."

I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that, and I wasn't even him.

And hold back she sure as heck didn't. As she spoke, his already battered confidence melted away and he even began to shrink to Lilliputian size. "You call me at least five times a day, and whenever I miss one of your calls you get mad. You wouldn't let me go out and party with my gal pals because you're so paranoid that I'll find a guy and cheat behind your back. There are times when I want to be left in peace to get my homework done or indulge in my fashion design hobby, but you always interrupt me with another one of your calls and invite me out to lunch or a dinner date, and I can't refuse because if I do you'll whine like the overgrown brat you are and say that I don't love you anymore blah blah blah. Seriously, I could go on and on about all of your demerits but I'll stop here because I have better things to do than argue with a control freak with whom I've clearly stated not to get within five metres of me. Now are you satisfied with my answer? I hope you are."

…I almost felt sorry for the poor guy. He was a wreck, cringing from her verbal assault. I thought I could almost hear the sound of his mind snapping.

"No," he seethed, heart bleeding. "No, I wouldn't stand for this!" He directed fiery eyes at me now. "You! You said you're just a friend of Eri's, right? !"

I could tell he was probably up to something and was very cautious about my words. But since Eri had made it clear that his presence was not welcome, I knew that at the very least, she and I were on the same side now, so I purposely made myself sound a little unfriendly in hopes of warding him off sooner.

Arms crossed, I answered, "Yeah. What's it to you?"

"Then you wouldn't mind if I take her for myself," he growled. "You'll see. I'll make her happier than you ever could! So you stay away from her!"

Eri was about to yell at him but I spoke first. "No way."

The sick sneer on his lips was the most unsightly thing I had laid eyes upon since bunny-eared parkas. "Stubborn, aren't we? Fine. Then I challenge you. And if I win… stay away from her."

Eri's right… He was a freak. It was too bad we couldn't just up and walk away from this guy, though. Our bus would arrive in a few minutes and the next one wouldn't come round in half an hour, and we had frozen food that we had to hurry home and toss into the fridge to keep it from thawing. So we just had to bear with him till our ride out of this mess arrived. But while simply escaping was the easy way out, I felt that we'd be seeing more of this guy in the future if I didn't end things here.

And this challenge he was talking about… I didn't know what he had in store for me. Regardless, this was a good opportunity to put him in his place. This was the old shtick that romance films often use to generate suspense: the rival offers the male protagonist a challenge and whoever won would get the girl. Same story here, except, thanks to some quick thinking, I had a plan…

Eri was hurling curses at her ex-boyfriend and basically being very angry, and I didn't blame her. "A challenge? !" she huffed. "Are you crazy? We don't have time for this. Just go away already, will you? !"

"Hang on, Eri," I said. "It's gonna be okay."

"N-Neku? ! What are you saying? !"

The ex-boyfriend let out a short bark of a laugh. He must have thought that he had this match in the bag. "If that's your choice – Neku, was it? – then that's just great. I'll be looking forward to the result! We'll settle this once and for all. If I can't have Eri, then no one else will!"

I had two words for him.

"Shut up."

"Huh!" he snorted. "Well now, a bit of trash talk here and there ain't gonna hurt if we're gonna have ourselves a little showdown – "

"Don't get me wrong, idiot," I grumbled. "I never agreed to your challenge. In fact, keep your stupid matches to yourself."

"What? !" He didn't take my words very well at all and became even more riled up.

A confused Eri could only wait for me to talk and explain myself. The ex-boyfriend was all ears too, to see if he could find something he didn't like to hear so he could give me a good pummeling, I guess. Sure wasn't good to know, but someone's got to do it for Eri's sake and it's got to be me. If I had to take a wallop to the face to protect her, then so be it.

"Are you telling me you're going to let me win by default?" he said. "Ha! You're just a coward!"

"I'm not a coward. I'm just not stupid. And I'm not winning by default or anything. I'm telling you to back off."

"Tch! Trying to act smart, huh? !"

"I don't care what your problem is, but Eri's my best friend, and if you're just going to make her unhappy, I wouldn't let you."

He snarled, "What do _you_ know? !"

That was when I got so irritated I stood up from the bench. He may be taller than me, but it didn't matter and I just raised my voice and shook my fist at him. "She's done with you! Why do you think she dumped you, huh? ! She doesn't want to see you anymore! Listen, pal. Don't ever get near her again – heck, don't ever get near _us_ again. Don't even try. I wouldn't stand for it."

"Threatening me to leave you alone? You think that'll work, punk? !"

"What? So if I call the police right now and say you're harassing us, you still wouldn't think I'm being serious? I mean, hey, it's your funeral…" I nonchalantly reached for my pocket where my cell phone was, and he noticed and stiffened up a little. I could almost picture his hair standing on end. Hope that scared him enough…

Behind me, Eri was clutching onto my shirt tighter. There was a terrible atmosphere as the ex-boyfriend sized me up and glared at me. I mentally braced myself for any abuse he might throw at me; whether physical or verbal, I was ready.

Eventually, he just shrugged and gave a long sigh of annoyance, shaking his head. "Hmph… I'm tired of this. Looks like I underestimated you. Seems like you've got some backbone after all. And the two of you look like you're enjoying each other's company already, so I don't have a chance anyway. Still, Eri, I don't know what you see in this guy."

"He's my friend," she asserted firmly. "And he cares about me deeply. More than you ever did."

He said not a single word more and just gave a grim little laugh that was tinged with defeat. Then he turned to leave, much to our relief, but not before he waved behind in a farewell gesture dripping with sarcasm, and a cry of "Adios, losers!" over his shoulder. I didn't appreciate how he was so rude but it probably stung him more than it did us, so I felt a little bit better about that. We watched him go and when he was finally both out of sight and out of Eri's life forever, the tension just dissolved away. My shoulders slumped like jelly. This ordeal was finally over.

I clasped Eri's shoulders in concern, asking, "Hey, um, are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh! Of course. But… I'm sorry, Neku…" She was most apologetic. "It's because I got mixed up with that freak in the past that you had to endure his nonsense…"

I responded kindly. "Hey, no biggie. Stuff happens in life, be it good or bad. We can't avoid everything, so we just need to deal with it. Besides…" – I gave a small knowing smile – "…I said it before: you're too good for that jerk mullet."

"Jerk mullet… Pfft… ha ha ha ha! Yeah, I remember that!"

Laughter from Eri was always a good sign. "It's the truth. He's not worth your time, and you know it."

"I do know. It's just that I'm having a riot trying to imagine him with a fish's face."

"With whiskers."

"Ha ha ha!" This time she was really slapping the living daylights out of my arm. "Oh, Neku, stop! This is too much, ha ha ha…!"

We had a good laugh about it – people were probably looking but we didn't care – and by the time things settled down, she had gotten over the trouble her ex-boyfriend had caused earlier and she felt much better.

A calmer Eri was wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes. "By the way, when he challenged you to a duel, I didn't expect you to nip the problem in the bud so quickly. I totally thought you were going to accept his challenge, and it'd lead to a really clichéd and overly-long multi-tiered battle that would end in a tiebreaker where you'd win at the very last moment! Nail-biting stuff!"

"Eri," I sighed, "life isn't like some kind of manga, you know…"

"But seriously, you were pretty cool back there. Thank you!"

"Huh? I didn't do much. I just – "

Her finger found itself on my lips, freezing the words in my throat. With a smile, she simply said, "Neku, this is the part where you say, 'You're welcome'. You're an awesome guy, so take pride in yourself. Besides… two words wouldn't cost you anything. Go on, say it. Can you say 'You're welcome', Neku? You didn't get to say it during the last date, so now I want to hear you say it. I insist."

I hesitated. My heart was in knots. She had a way with things… a playful yet sincere way. But, truth be told, I liked it.

Hmmm, might as well.

"Y-You're welcome…"

She giggled. "Good, that's more like it."

"I've been reminded when I was younger to say my P's and Q's," I said, "but this is the first time I've been told to say 'You're welcome'. A bit strange, I'll say."

"Oh well, at least it's appropriate, right? After all, that's what you say when someone thanks you."

And she gave me a wink that further accentuated her carefree mentality. The shivers my heart was feeling almost got out of control. When a person falls in love, everything to do with the person of their affection becomes a potential source of heart attacks… Maybe I should get depressants or something. Nishimura Pharmacy might stock them… Wait, this is all just ridiculous…

"Neku," she announced, "the bus is here."

The bus pulled up and we got on board with shopping bags in tow. Finally, our shopping was done and, consequently, so was the first part of our cooking lesson. But the real challenge was yet to come. Could she overcome the trials of the kitchen and emerge a winner? I was behind her one hundred percent, but I had a feeling this lesson wouldn't be easy for me to teach…

In other pressing matters, she seemed to be stifling a giggle or two. Curiosity got the better of me and I nudged her to get her attention. "Eri? What's so funny?"

Apparently she couldn't hold it in anymore and she let out the loudest "pfft" I had ever heard, followed by laughter that was just as loud. All the other passengers naturally glanced our way, and the stares simply hurt. And I had an aisle seat too, so the first person that lay in their line of sight was me.

In the midst of it all, she chortled, "Jerk mullets! Oh god, Neku, that's a good term you've coined there! The best I've ever heard! It's definitely going into my vocabulary. It's just so hilarious it's awesome! HAHAHAHA! ! !"

"Eri! Simmer down! You're laughing too loudly! A-And please stop punching my arm – ow! OW! ! !"

But as you can guess, it was no use. At least half of the trip home was punctuated by bursts of uproarious laughter from Eri, and we got the evil eye one too many times from the passengers. This was so embarrassing! But she didn't mind one bit. She was too busy laughing.

I was starting to regret ever birthing that very term in the first place. Maybe I should have stuck with plain old foul language…


	10. Teach Me How to Cook, Sensei!

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 10)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Back at Eri's house at last. To help her understand the basics of cooking, I had decided that for her very first cooking lesson we would start off with something nice and easy. Back in school, one of the things they taught us how to cook in Home Economics was shrimp tempura, so what better way to start than with that?

"Since we're going to cook right away," I said, "I'll place the shrimp in the chiller compartment. Is that okay?"

"Go ahead," replied Eri. "Well, assuming we can find space in there."

Here I was standing before the open chiller, packed with cans of beer from all kinds of companies. No matter which way I looked, there simply was no space for even a measly packet of shrimp. Well, it just went to show how much she loved drinking.

"That's a lot of beer, Eri. It's like the Great Wall of Alcohol."

"Yup, sure is!" She sounded proud of the beer she was hoarding, as though it was a stash of gold, but as a teetotaller, I wasn't impressed. "Ah… for you, Neku, I'd recommend a nice shot of _Genki_ draft beer. It's light and is perfect for people who are just starting out on drinking."

"No thanks. You know I don't take alcohol. Besides, how can I teach when I'm drunk?"

"Mmm, good point. Ah, well, I thought I could change your mind. I totally want a drinking buddy like you!" She gently slugged me in the arm as a sign of affection. "I mean, it's fun going to bars with the girls, but what I really would like is a guy with whom I can spend the evening enjoying chilled beer. Thing is, no guy I've met is decent enough so you're my best bet. But since you're not into drinking – and there's nothing wrong with that – I think I'm outta luck, ahaha."

What she just said… it was proof that not only did she trust me, she also… liked me? No wonder the heat was rising to my face.

"Neku?" she said. "Your face is all red. Y-You're not drunk, are you?"

I spluttered at the very insinuation that I of all people might be inebriated. "Of… Of course not! A-Anyway, since the chiller's full, I'll just have to stuff the shrimp in the freezer for now. We wouldn't keep it frozen for too long so it'll be alright."

When I hauled the freezer door open it was the same story. It was completely filled. But it wasn't beer that took up its precious space. Instead, a selection of TV dinners, leftover pizzas and other quick fix-it-yourself meals made up the family inside the freezer. There was nothing inside that spelt healthy.

"Eri," I gulped, "I don't even want to imagine what you eat everyday."

Visibly ashamed, she muttered, "Th-That's blunt, Neku… But I do get my three square meals a day, you know!"

"Your three square meals are stuff you pop into the microwave?"

Now she was getting a little annoyed. "It's not like I want to eat out or chow down on instant stuff all the time either! I love home-made dinners as much as the next person too. This has been bothering me plenty; that's why I appreciate your wanting to teach me how to cook. So get to it already, Sensei!"

"Sure…"

Eri went off to change while I was left to wrestle the shrimp into the freezer. I had to squash the pizza box a little to make room; I hoped she wouldn't mind. It seemed very odd how the shrimp looked the odd one out in a sea of "instant" food. Were her culinary skills so hopeless that nothing in her fridge needed to be prepared? Already I could foresee that today's cooking lesson would prove to be as much a trial for her as it was for me.

As I was sorting out the rest of our ingredients, I began to notice that she was taking an awfully long time getting dressed. Sure, she could spend minutes at a time getting dolled up for a grand night out as she once told me, but she wouldn't be so silly as to put on make-up for something like a cooking lesson, and in her own home at that. A minute or two passed and I was beginning to grow concerned. What happened to her?

My worries eased up completely when she emerged looking just fine in shorts and a long-sleeved shirt. Ah, so these were the clothes that Eri liked to wear at home… cute! Some eye candy during today's lesson was always welcome. But what sent my mind into overdrive was what she was trying to put on in addition to what she was already wearing.

"Hey, Neku!" she grumbled. "I'm having trouble putting the apron on! Could you help me? It's the strings at the back… I can't seem to tie them up."

My breath hitched in my throat as I watched Eri struggle with her apron. I wasn't sure if anyone could identify with my thoughts at that time, but that simple apron just raised her cuteness tenfold! It was difficult to explain. Maybe it really was a fetish of mine I didn't know existed until now. But it just worked. I didn't care _how_ it worked; I just cared that it worked at all!

Eri was cross to see how I was standing there not lifting a finger, but I was just too hopelessly spellbound to do anything.

"Oi! NEKU!" Ouch… She was yelling this time. "Don't just stand there! Help me tie the strings of my apron! Geez! Here I am getting all serious about cooking and your mind's drifting off into space…"

"Sorry, sorry." It was a simple matter for me to fasten her apron, but I did have one thought. "Hang on. I don't get it."

"Don't get what?"

"You can put on Gothic bareback string corsets without a single hiccup (_see Part 5_) and here you're having problems tying an _apron?_"

"This is that are different things, Neku. I mean, I haven't done any cooking, so I'm not used to aprons at all. I think that explains things nicely, don't you think?"

"Uh… not really…"

In exasperation she sighed. "I guess that's what happens when someone who understands fashion talks to someone who doesn't… It's like a macaque talking to an orangutan. But enough monkey banter! It's cooking lesson o'clock right now and I've been waiting so eagerly for this day, so let's not waste time and get this show on the road."

I wanted to joke that macaques and orangutans should be on the same wavelength since they're both primates, but she's right. The time had come for Eri to become a little bit more enlightened in the art of cooking, and I was going to help her.

It wouldn't be an easy journey for her, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

That apron was awfully distracting, though… W-Wish I could take a photo…

XOXOXOXOXO

"Pay close attention, okay?" I told Eri. "And be sure to take notes."

"Aye aye, Cap'n!"

"S-So not only am I Sensei, I'm also Captain now… Oh well."

To be perfectly honest, I had my reservations about Eri being able to carry through with her efforts. Cooking is no walk in the park. A total neophyte like her would find the going hard and clumsy, much like how a kid learning to walk must feel. But as I observed her it was obvious she was taking this very seriously. Throughout the lesson, she never once spaced out, she never complained even when her fingers got stained and oily, and though she might crack the occasional joke now and again, she really got into the whole rhythm of things. That was good.

As she cooperated with me by getting the batter ready amongst other tasks, she looked almost like a wife. My wife? Ah… wouldn't that be nice. Spending time in the kitchen… me, preparing the miso soup, and her, busying herself with the beef cutlets. And then once it was all done, we'd reap our efforts with mealtime, feeling satisfied from a hard day's work and a bond between us that grew stronger with each new tomorrow.

Unfortunately I got so caught up in my daydream that I wasn't really looking where I was slicing the scallions. And so my hand slipped and I got a nice clean cut on my finger.

Eri heard my grunts of pain and came over to check up on me. "Neku! What happened?"

"It's nothing. I just cut myself by accident, that's all. I'll just – "

"H-Hey, that doesn't look pretty at all," she said, cringing slightly. "We've got to treat it!"

She was right. The wound was deeper than I thought and the blood was seeping out. It wasn't that bad, but it was still alarming.

"Eri, do you have any band-aids – uh, Eri? !"

"First aid must be delivered without hesitation." Not wasting a second more, she grabbed hold of my hand and popped my bloodied finger into her mouth.

What was she doing? ! Was she trying to suck the blood away? It was almost like she was sucking on my finger… and it was warm and strangely soothing inside her mouth. A shiver ran down my spine when I thought I could feel her tongue rolling around. I appreciated the quick thinking on her part, but the way she was going about it was so erotic! And she was in her apron too, so that was like a double KO for me! Just imagine the kind of situation I was in… the girl I loved, wearing a cute apron and licking my finger…

After a full minute of this treatment she looked up to a horrendous sight.

"Neku!" she gasped, shocked. "Y-You've got a nosebleed! Did… Did I make things worse? ! And more to the point, wh-which bleeding should I stop first? !"

"Don't worry about me," I mumbled through a pinched nose. "I'll be fine. But I'm going to have to borrow the bathroom sink. I wouldn't be long, so in the meantime please carry on with what you were doing with the batter."

"Uh… if you say so… By the way, band-aids are in the medicine cabinet so go ahead and help yourself to one. You'll find tissues there too for your, um, nose."

I ended up dangling both my face and my finger over the sink, watching the blood drip and stain the enamel. Gosh darn it… Eri really was something else to be able to turn the simplest of acts into something outrageously sexy. It was almost like a talent of hers, though it probably wasn't one that might be envied. To cite an example, when she was with me at Mexican Dog one time, and she ordered a chilli dog…

…No, maybe I shouldn't get into that. Who knew what would happen to my poor nose if I started to recall how she sucked the sauce off of the sausage, or when she accidentally spilt some OJ on her hand and she licked it clean, or when she –

Uh-oh. Too late. I thought about it.

And now… the blood gushed harder.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Eek!"

"Yeow! Almost hit me!"

"I'm sorry, Neku!" yelped Eri. "But this is really scary! Is this how tempura is supposed to be cooked? Surely there has to be a better way! Why does the oil have to splatter all over the darn place? !"

"It doesn't have to! It's because you're dropping the tempura into the oil instead of slipping it in! Then of course it'll splash everywhere!"

Right now I was teaching Eri how to fry the tempura. It had to be deep-fried, which meant filling the wok with lots of oil to cook it evenly. One of the drawbacks of deep-frying is how the hot oil would churn and spray during cooking, and it would sting badly when it came into contact with your skin.

"Easy does it," I said, watching with anxiety. "That's right, Eri. Keep a good grip on the shrimp. Keep a really good grip, then slip it into the oil – "

"Waah!"

"Whoa!"

I couldn't blame Eri for having trouble with the tempura. The shrimp and batter were both slippery, and holding it with chopsticks wasn't easy. So the shrimp slid off from her grip too early and it made a good splash in the hot oil. Again. Both of us managed to evade the oil thanks to some quick reflexes and a bit of luck, but our bodies were twisted into pretzel shapes trying to do so. It might be funny to laugh later on about how Eri and I had to adopt the mantis and monkey kung fu stances respectively, but at that time, it wasn't the slightest bit hilarious at all.

"I-I'm sorry again, Neku!" she wailed. "I'm trying to do like you told me, but it's hard to even hold it in the first place!"

I showed her how it was done and she observed with great care. "Well, I know how you feel, Eri. The first time I made tempura it was pretty much the same story."

"Really?" She was surprised. "Even an awesome cook like you had this kind of problem in the past?"

We were waiting for our current batch of tempura to cook so I took the time to explain in more detail. "Not everyone's a genius from the get-go. We were all newbies once, me included. I remember how my aunt used to teach me how to cook simple foods, and she'd chew me out whenever I made a stupid mistake. Heh… She sure could be harsh."

"Must be nice to have a relative who's willing to show you the basics of cooking. As for me, no one in my family can cook, so I was pretty hopeless from the start, ha ha ha…"

"S-So you're saying your inability to cook runs in the family? Whoa."

"Thanks to you, however," she said, grinning, "I think I can finally put an end to this vicious cycle. Hey, I know! I can whip up some tempura for my parents and totally surprise them! It'll be pretty rad."

"I like the sound of that," I agreed, smiling too. "They'll be proud to know that their daughter can do something they can't."

"And when they ask from whom I learnt how to cook tempura, I'll take you to my parents' house so I can properly introduce you to them. So make sure you say the right things so you can impress them."

I broke out into a cold sweat. "Er… isn't it a bit too soon for me to be seeing your parents? Shouldn't this wait till a later time when we're more – Wait. Wait wait wait! Wh-What're you making me say, Eri? ! I-It's not like we're… you know…"

"…dating?"

Mischief was saturated in her chuckle. It was clear I was about to be subject to her teasing once more, and although I prepared myself for her myriad wiles, I knew this was a battle of wits I could never hope to win.

"So you're saying we're not an item, Neku?" she purred naughtily. "We've chalked up two dates by now, and done lots of things together. Even taking baths – oh my! But still you deny it? That's cute, but…"

"I-I'm not denying anything! Wait… No, if I'm not denying anything then that means…! Argh! Wh-What do you want me to do, you little imp? !"

I nearly jumped when she came closer to speak in my ear, and the tone she used was soft yet seductive. "Hmmm… For starters, you could prepare what you need to say to my parents… With the right words, I'm sure you could bowl them over. Don't worry, they're pretty lenient on prospective husbands."

"Oh, really? That's good to know – " Hang on, this didn't feel right! "No, stop right there! Husband? ! Th-That's not what I wanted to say! N-Not at all!"

"It's cute how your ear's as red as the rest of your face, Neku."

"Whuh…! I-I'm not – It's just the heat in the kitchen!"

Yeah… Looks like I wouldn't be winning this one either. Stuck for words, I hurriedly turned away from her and busied myself with fishing out the tempura and laying it on a plate… anything to avoid her cheeky gaze. Sure, she was putting me out plenty, but in a rose-tinted corner of my mind, what she was suggesting – that we were destined for life – sounded pretty appealing to me. I was embarrassed for obvious reasons, but at the same time, though I didn't show it openly, I guess I was pretty happy…

A gasp escaped from my throat when I felt the warmth of her hugging me from behind, her arms round my neck, and her head on my shoulder. Ah, she had hugged me like this before, and like back then, it was a good feeling.

"You're on candid camera," she said, smiling.

"Pulling my leg again, I see," I sighed. "I expected as much."

"Being the butt of my jokes isn't such a bad thing, Neku. Even my pranks are relatively harmless."

"I-I'm not saying that it's bad, Eri. But if your pranks always involve me getting a nosebleed, can you truly say they're harmless?"

"Ha ha ha!"

Eri had a lot of cheek and little shame. But… I didn't really mind. She should stay just the way she was.

Now we were back to frying the next batch of tempura. She seemed to be faring better this time, as there were no more episodes of dodging flying droplets of searing hot oil. And she also looked happier that she was finally making progress.

"That's it," I encouraged her. "That's the way you do it. Just slip it in nice and easy, and the oil wouldn't spill all over the place."

She was beaming, flushed in accomplishment. "I _am_ getting the hang of this. It's not exactly second nature, but I'm getting there."

Eri was having fun, and so was I. So, in a sense, even if I were to deny it, we were already like husband and wife. Oh well, not a bad thing to be sure…

XOXOXOXOXO

"Ready for the moment of truth, Eri?"

"Yes. Go right ahead."

The lesson was over and done with and the time to put my taste buds to work had arrived. We were now seated at the dining table with a plate full of piping hot, freshly-fried tempura, and as the teacher, it was my duty to give my student the feedback necessary for her growth as a budding cook.

The tempura rolled around on my tongue, and the slight sweetness of the shrimp contrasted well with the saltiness of the batter. The result was a light yet fulfilling taste that flowed through every corner of my mouth. When prepared well, tempura sure was fun to eat. And it was Eri's tempura too, so that's double the pleasure, I guess. Ahaha… _guilty_ pleasure, perhaps?

"It's a bit burnt," I said, with an honesty that was gentle, not brutal. "And I think there might have been a little too much salt. However, the shrimp itself turned out quite well, so all things considered… not bad for your first try. Seven out of ten."

"Really?" Her grin had the word victory written all over it. "Well, what do you know. Seven out of ten… That's equivalent to a B, maybe a B+. Yeah, for a first try, that's pretty good!"

"You could use some improvement, but it's a commendable effort." I flashed a kind smile for her. "And practice makes perfect, so you'd do well to practice making all the dishes I'm going to teach you from here on out. Don't be afraid. Just keep on at it."

"If I surpass you one day, can I make you my student?"

"H-Huh?"

"And when I'm your Sensei, can I give you… extra lessons?" She was giggling. "Broadening your horizons is just as important as self-improvement, you know. Hee hee. 'Oh, Sensei, you mustn't!' Something like that?"

Another dirty joke… "Er, I don't really get what you're insinuating. Besides, it's time to eat, d-don't you think?"

"Yeah, let's tuck in!"

Apart from a few pieces which I fried for her to see how it was done, the whole pile of tempura was done by her. It wasn't perfect, and I could see the many blemishes in the batter that could only be made by someone who had never cooked once in her life (instant noodles don't count). But it was a good try, and seeing her not get discouraged was inspiring.

She sunk her teeth into a piece and nodded. "Mmm, you're right, Neku. It could use a little improvement in places. Otherwise, it's Sensei-tional!" Cute pun… "Oh! And before I forget, thanks for the lesson. I suddenly feel a whole lot more intelligent."

I laughed softly. She could be so adorable. "No charge, Eri. I'll teach you something else next week, maybe omelettes. I know it sounds exceedingly simple, and in some ways, it is. But I feel you need to at least know more of the basics."

"Good thinking. Nice and easy… Oh, Neku? Just to change topics for a bit, there's something that I've wanted to ask."

"What is it?"

"You said that it's your aunt who taught you how to cook, right? I'm just curious… can your mum cook too? Or your dad… can both of your parents cook?"

With anyone else, it'd have been a very ordinary question that could be easily answered with a "yes" or "no". But in my case, it wasn't like that. Some explanation was necessary, but I wasn't sure if it would be appropriate…

"…Neku?"

"Um, to be honest," I said matter-of-factly, "I don't have any parents. My mum and dad have… well, they're not around anymore."

"Huh? ! Oh! Um…" She became flustered and stared down at her bowl of rice, totally unlike her cheery self – she did have a serious side to her too. "I-I'm sorry to hear that. I… I didn't mean to dredge up the past…"

I spoke very gently and did my best to put her at ease. "Ahaha… no, it's okay, Eri. See, they passed away long ago when I was still a very young kid… I was told that I was a toddler at that time. I essentially grew up without any memories of my parents, so it never really bothered me…"

"Then… who took care of you?" She lifted her head slowly, as though still afraid to look at me.

"My aunt and uncle. They took me in after my parents died, and they'd been taking care of me all my life, so they're like my parents, I guess. …And yes, that's the very same aunt who taught me how to cook. Fits together nicely, huh?" Those last words I spoke in jest in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"I-It's hard for me to imagine having no parents," said a meek-sounding Eri. "But you've got your relatives, so… at least you're okay."

"Were you worried about me? Heh… thanks. But I never saw it as an issue or anything from the start, so no problems there."

Eri seemed relieved and loosened up. "Well, I'm glad you've got a positive outlook on life. I mean, sure, it's not all milk and honey the whole time, but you know what I mean, Neku."

"Yeah."

"But," she added, "if ever you feel sad or lonely and you need to pour out your worries to someone or you just need to talk, you just come on over to my house, okay? I'm only a few houses away from you so I'm always nearby."

Whoa, did she just say that? I knew she cared about me as a friend, but it warmed the heart to know she would always be around to offer me her shoulder to cry on. Ah… this was the kind of thing true bosom buddies offer to do in a fraction of a heartbeat. I was the luckiest guy in the world to be so close to such a pretty and wonderful friend! I wanted so badly to hug her out of gratitude but it wouldn't be right so I reined in my urges.

"Hey, thanks, Eri!" I said. "That's very nice of you."

"If you want to stay over, Neku, you're most welcome. It's the least I can do for letting me stay at your place all those times."

"Um… okay, I-I'll keep that in mind…"

"And if you're really really down in the pits, I can strip to cheer you up!"

I choked and spluttered on my tempura. "Th-That wouldn't be necessary, thank you very much! ! !"

So I said, but what she said sure sounded very tempting! Okay, maybe I should tap into my inner angst-filled emo kid and try my hardest to get depressed! Then I could pay her a visit, and… nah, maybe not.

XOXOXOXOXO

Mealtime was over, cleanup was done, and class was dismissed. We had a good time, but now it was time for me to head back home. We were hanging around her doorstep exchanging quick banter before we would part ways for the day.

"Neku, thanks," chirped Eri, clasping my arm affectionately. "The cooking was tough, but I had fun. I'm looking forward to our next lesson!"

"Yeah, me too. Work hard until then, okay?"

"You betcha! You can count on me, Sensei!"

"That I will." I had a mild but meaningful smile. "I'll give you a gold star for enthusiasm."

"Hee hee! You're acting just like a real teacher. Sure brings back memories of school life!"

"Alright, later, Eri. Take care." As I was turning to leave, she grasped onto my sleeve. There was something she had to say.

"Neku, um…!"

"Yes, Eri? Do you need something?"

"Well, no, not really. But I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really cool. Again." She scratched the back of her head. "I just had to say it."

Behind the seemingly offhanded manner in which she praised me was a compliment that I knew she had meant straight from the heart. I just knew. I knew when Eri wanted to be a prankster and when she could be serious. And right now, she wasn't joking. I could feel my face boiling.

All I could do was mumble in embarrassment. "Um… thanks. B-But I think you're cooler, Eri…"

"Because I can actually cook stuff now?"

"You were already cool to begin with. Um… and…" Sometimes I wasn't good with words and would end up so tongue-tied I either couldn't say anything or went into all-out verbal diarrhea. This would happen especially when I was flustered, and right now my nervousness was making my mouth choose to run like water. "And, well… Y-You've always had a knack for understanding people, and… helping your friends with their problems… But I also like how you want to improve yourself and overcome your inabilities, and… and…"

She held up her hand and laughed softly. "Neku, I get what you mean. Don't sweat it, okay? And learn to loosen up a little. Being too high-strung like you always are can't be good for your health."

"Sorry… I'll try."

There was a vacant but soothing silence during which her gaze never left me. Those one or two seconds were quiet but left a good feeling in me.

And then she had to say _that_ and all hell broke loose.

"So anyway, what you're trying to say by me being cool," she said, with a cheeky sideways glance, "is that I'm the one who appears in your sleep whenever you get wet dreams now? Sweet!"

I blurted, "Wh-What are you saying? ! I never said that! ! !"

She wasn't listening and was quickly ramping up the chaos in my head. "My… It's really flattering that you think of me like _that_. I'm honoured."

"What do you mean by '_that_'? !"

"Ha ha ha! Relax, Neku! I'm just messin'. It's all cool! And hey, I did tell you to loosen up." She patted my arm in an affectionate way.

"Loosening up is a tall order when your jokes are so over-the-top…"

"Ha ha ha… Now, now. You know what they say: laughter is the best medicine. And it's so much fun to tease you. I just can't help it, though I don't mean anything bad by that, of course!"

The storm had finally passed, but the destruction in its wake was still there… "Um… uh-huh… Well, I'll see you soon."

"Thanks again for everything, Neku."

"Yeah."

"Sweet dreams," she giggled as she closed the front door. "And what kind of dreams, you should know by now…"

"Ugh… Eri…"

And thus ended Eri's first cooking lesson. A pretty eventful day… After shopping, I fended off her boyfriend, taught her how to cook… And she even joked that I dreamt of her in a less innocent way… Ahaha… That's not too far off, but… oh man, I bet she was a psychic or something. Scary.

But I still felt very happy. The whole time I was taking the short walk back home, my heart couldn't stop pounding.

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri certainly was happy that she was able to start fixing her cooking handicap, bit by bit. She had enthusiasm that surprisingly rivaled even mine and she was really getting into the swing of things. This little setback wouldn't faze her. I knew her long enough to know that, despite her laid-back attitude towards life in general, she was strong-willed, the type to see something through. She would try again.

And she did. In fact, she appeared at my doorstep a few days later with a broad smile on her face and a platter full of shrimp tempura in her hands.

The sight of her startled me, however. "Eri? What happened? You're out of breath…"

She calmed her aching lungs long enough to be able to communicate, though she was still panting painfully. "I was cooking tempura just minutes earlier, Neku. And I think I may have perfected the recipe by myself!"

"Wow, really?" That got me curious. What did she manage to achieve?

Her excitement was growing harder to contain. "Yeah, really truly absolutely. I took a bite, and then I was like 'Eureka'! I've done it! The tempura I've just made is the ideal version! So I rushed out of my house and came all the way over here just so you could have a taste."

"Y-You rushed out still wearing your apron? And carrying a platter at that?"

"Ahaha, yeah. I didn't care that people were looking as I ran down the street. I mean, your house is only a short jog away."

Eri was weirder than I thought… "Oh well, since you brought it all the way here, come on in, and I'll take a bite to evaluate your work."

"Please do!"

The atmosphere was tense. I sat on one side of the dining table. Eri sat on the opposite side, facing me. Between the two of us, was the platter of tempura she had so willingly bothered to bring along. Her tempura didn't look any different from last Saturday's batch except that it wasn't as burnt. I trusted that she was diligent enough to improve on her cooking skills so I was pretty confident this wouldn't be too shabby.

I just wished she wouldn't stare at me so intently like that with all those imaginary sparkles hanging around her… I knew she was curious about how her latest culinary effort turned out, but… it's really unnerving.

But time and tide wait for no man, and neither does Eri. So I picked up a piece and into the trap it went.

Hmmm? ! Th-This taste…!

"I'll be real honest with you, Eri," I said.

Suddenly she didn't seem so eager. "Er, y-yes? Go on… I don't mind. If it sucks, you've got to tell me, okay? I don't want to be stuck cooking poorly my whole life!"

"I know. And I'm glad you understand. If you claim you can handle the truth, I'll just come right out and say it."

Eri nodded.

I said, "You tried tweaking with the recipe a bit, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I figured there was something I could add and stuff, so I did. I thought I'd experiment and see where I wind up."

"It's good that you're exploring new territory without my help," I praised. "Your increased the amount of pepper in the batter, and you marinated the shrimp beforehand… overnight, I presume?"

"Wow, how did you know?" she gasped in awe. "No wonder you're an awesome cook. Actually, I asked my college buddies for advice, and that's what they told me to do. So I did what they said and this is the result."

"I actually like the flavour. It fills the mouth with this aroma and gives the old tempura recipe a fresh edge. Good work, Eri."

"Really? !" Her face was flushed with joy. "Aw, gee! Thanks!"

"There's just one thing."

"Huh? Oh, go ahead. What is it?"

"…It's… too… spicy…"

I made a beeline for the kitchen sink and gulped down water from the tap like there was no tomorrow. My throat, my tongue, everywhere inside my mouth it was on fire. Eri panicked.

"Is it _that_ hot, Neku? !" she yelped. "I-I'm sorry! I tasted it and I thought it was just right… I wasn't trying to murder you for giving me low grades on my cooking, honest! I'm innocent! But man, I'm surprised you could talk normally and hold it in for this long!"

"I… I guess you… can take… spicy stuff," I panted. "That… can't be a bad… thing. But ordinary humans like me… can't handle it… And… for the record, your cooking… isn't that… bad… And I wouldn't say… that 7/10… is a low grade…"

"I-I'll be sure to alter the recipe and add less Tabasco sauce, so don't die on me, okay? !"

"Wh – I'm not… going to die! Wait… you added… Tabasco sauce? !"

Ah… my poor singed tongue… It wasn't easy being Eri's mentor. Well, at least she was working hard.

XOXOXOXOXO

For the record, she did eventually get it just right, and when I last give it a shot, it was satisfyingly spicy without being a burden on the taste buds. And so Shrimp Tempura a la Eri was born. How happy she was to know that she had finally conquered the challenge of tempura!

But the next day after that, her Facebook account was flooded with photos of the shrimp tempura she made by herself. Fresh in the afterglow of personal victory, she must have been so happy and excited over her achievements that in the space of one day she had uploaded seventy-two such photos. In her profile she added this line, "Thanks to my awesome friend Neku, I can make shrimp tempura now, w00t! ! !"

Ah, and did I mention? When next Saturday came around and I paid her a visit to teach her how to make omelettes… smack dab on the wall in her living room was a framed photograph of her beloved dish. And it was signed and autographed by Eri herself, with the words, "Dedicated to my Sensei XOXO".

I knew she was proud of herself, but…

At least it was nice to be so openly appreciated. And whenever I saw that photograph and its attached message, it never failed to make me blush. After all, she did call me "_my_ Sensei"…


	11. Confessions Don't Come Easy

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 11)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Two months had gone by ever since I realized my feelings for Eri. We're very close as we were, but… I wanted to get even closer to her. And the circumstances surrounding the two of us were favourable too: we were both single and available. We could easily hook up. The question was how, and I was stumped.

How could I say those famous three words – "I love you" – without looking or sounding like a fool?

With every single day we spent together, I grew closer and closer to her. Yet the closer I was to her, the more afraid I was to confess. I was fearful that if I messed up and said the wrong thing, she might get put off and our friendship would be over in a puff of smoke. But I simply couldn't leave matters as they were. She currently didn't have a boyfriend, and if some cool guy were to come along and sweep her off her feet, then the sadness that I felt when I lost Shiki to some guy would repeat itself. No, never again. I wouldn't let this happen again, not on my watch. I had to confess to her right away before anyone else had the chance to do so!

But I didn't know how. Regardless, at the very least, I should try!

XOXOXOXOXO

This morning as I was making breakfast, I was repeating all manner of positive thinking to myself.

_Eri's not a tiger_, I kept telling myself. _She's not a tiger, or a lioness, or a hungry T-Rex. She wouldn't have you for dinner if you tell her you're in love with her. Have some confidence!_

She had to stay over at my place again because she got herself drunk like she was infamously known to do on nights out with the girls. …Sure was late to get up though. Wasn't she supposed to shamble into the kitchen around now, asking me what was for breakfast? If she still wasn't awake anytime soon, she'd be late for classes. The duty fell to me to whisk her to her feet.

"Eri?" I rapped on the bedroom door. "Hey, rise and shine!"

Nothing.

"Eri! Come on! Time for breakfast!"

Still nothing. I was hoping I could avoid this, but it didn't look like I had a choice. I would have to go inside her room and wake her up. Thing was, she had a habit of sleeping in only her underwear, so if I walked in on her while she was still wearing so little _and_ she was awake at that moment…

…well, actually, nothing bad would happen.

Ordinarily, if that were to happen with a normal girl, she'd scream the house down, give me a hefty slap, and then shove me out of the room while she changed. Then breakfast would be uncomfortable because she would glare daggers at me the whole time. Or she could just storm out of the house, plain and simple.

But if it was Eri, do you know what she would do?

She'd probably shrug it off and just say with a sleepy but cheery grin, "Oh, good morning!"

I should know. I've had to wake her up like this on at least two occasions before. And each time, she never minded. It was almost creepy.

Time to go rouse this sleeping beauty. The door wasn't locked – she never bothered locking it – so I helped myself inside. Even as I was turning the doorknob I could envision her sprawled on the bed in the most unsophisticated manner in just her bra and panties. But when I saw her, I was actually surprised to see that she was still wearing the T-shirt from last night's outing, although her shorts were nowhere to be seen on her person. For the record, she still looked unsophisticated, but it was less strenuous on both my heart and hormones.

"Eri!" I called again. "Get off your butt, it's time to wake up!"

Finally… a response. Even before her eyes were open she was mumbling something, what it was I couldn't make it out. Then slowly, reluctantly, she righted herself into a sitting position. Her hair was a mess, strands flung in all directions. Two of her locks were even flayed up on the top of her head like horns, certainly befitting for a cheeky little devil like herself. It was a pretty funny sight.

Through half-open eyes she stared at me, groggy as can be. "Wha… Whassit?"

"Breakfast is ready. Better hurry or you'll be late for classes."

"Mmm… It's morning?"

"Yeah."

"Oh… mmm… shower…"

"Huh? I beg your pardon?"

Without warning she peeled her shirt off and over her head. My body froze as I watched her fling it onto the nearby chair. I didn't understand what was happening. I couldn't move at all. It was hopeless. However, when she reached behind her back and started fiddling with what I knew to be the clasp of her bra, somewhere inside my brain an emergency override was activated and my body regained all of its functions once more.

"Wh-What're you doing? !" I almost shouted.

"…Gonna take… shower… zzz…"

Was Eri still asleep? ! It'd explain why she was still in a fuzzy dream-like state. But why was this even happening… Um, hold the phone. Now wasn't the time to worry about why this and why that! She was going to remove her bra, and that was all that mattered right now! Eri probably didn't even realize what she was doing. Yikes! I had to stop her before all hell broke loose!

"Stop!"

Before I knew it, my body started moving on its own. Whatever that emergency override did, however, it apparently removed my ability to control my own body too. And so I found myself lunging at Eri in an attempt to stop her by pinning her in place. But I tripped in the process and my entire self launched right at her like a missile, the impact of which sent both of us tumbling onto the bed.

Dazed, I struggled to pick myself off. Huh? This soft feeling in my face… The mattresses in this house never felt this way before.

Gah! No wonder! It was her breasts in my face, not the mattress! This bountiful marshmallowy texture was something that could never be achieved by a piece of bed furniture. I hurriedly dislodged my head out from within her chest.

And then I noticed another thing. The upshot of our collision was that now, Eri was underneath me, lying on her back as I towered over her on all fours. W-Wasn't this like a scene from an R-rated romantic film? ! It was almost like I had pushed her down! No, I _did_ push her down!

Her eyes opened just a little wider in surprise. Oh no! She was fully awake! What'd she think, when she saw how she was clad in nearly nothing, trapped underneath a guy?

No… No, I didn't want a bad ending! Was Eri going to get mad and disappear from my life forever just because of this one blunder? ! This wasn't some movie where any and all crises would be resolved in the finale… This was real life! And in real life, there's no fairy godmother or genie in a bottle to give you the means to change the past or whatever.

"Eri!" I blurted. "I'm sorry! This… This isn't what you think it is, honest! I never wanted to – eh?"

She had wrapped her arms around my neck while I was saying that last sentence and then suddenly, she pulled me closer, causing my face to slam into the pillow past her head. Was she… hugging me? ! Then that meant she was still…

Her next words confirmed my suspicions. "Mmm… My prince… you've come…"

She hadn't woken up completely yet! Noooo!

I was flailing like a fish but couldn't break myself free from her grip. What was she trying to do… or rather, what was she trying to do _to me? !_ And so early in the morning too… I wasn't sure this was going to be good for my health…

"Whoa, Eri, wait wait wait! You're still asleep, aren't you? ! Wake up already!"

She didn't. Instead, she just hugged me even tighter and started giggling, though it was in a sleepy, distorted kind of way. "You're so cute. Mmm? Oh right… breakfast is ready. Then I'll eat…"

Having our bodies pressed so close together was sensational. I could almost swear that the whole of my vision had this hazy white filter to it like I was passing through a fog, and in my ears there was the soothing sound of angels' harps being played amidst bleating lambs in the background… Hallelujah much?

"Eri, wait! Could you just – " Another desperate struggle on my part…

…would end in total failure. With a burst of power, she flipped the two of us over, knocking the breath out of me. I wound up underneath her this time and she was on top. Of all the crazy things…! A girl lying full-length on top of me, and nearly naked at that! I gulped hard when I saw that her entire bra was spilling loosely over her shoulders. So she did manage to unhook it after all? ! That she had her chest firmly jammed against mine was the only thing that was preventing her from being totally exposed. If she got up now without doing herself up…

That grin looked so dozy yet seductive at the same time. "Breakfast… gonna… eat…"

I opened my mouth to speak, but before even the first syllable came out, she gave my cheek a good long lick. If I had been wearing shoes they'd have popped right out of my feet.

…Did Eri just lick me? !

"Tasty… Mmm…" She was running her tongue over her lips like a dog with a solid beef bone would do. When I meant breakfast, I wasn't referring to myself! What was I, her personal lollipop? !

I mean, well, this wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but…

Even in her quasi-conscious state, she seemed to be enjoying herself. Sometimes she was very dainty about it, using short and quick cat-like laps; other times she was just plain messy. At one point I tried to wrestle her away, but she merely grabbed onto my arms and pinned them down, so I was essentially trapped. I wasn't sure I could handle this anymore…

"Ehe… Dessert…"

"Mnngh… gah! O-Okay, that's… enough, Eri!"

"Heh heh… Heh – uh?"

She stopped in mid-lick as she was working on my left cheek for the umpteenth time. It was kind of hilarious, to be honest, seeing how her eyes shot wide open and she just stayed stock still with her tongue frozen in place.

Hang on… Wasn't this a bad thing? _Now_ she was fully awake, right?

Uh-oh.

Eri took a few moments to get her bearings on her surroundings and the situation she had gotten us both in. Her first reaction was to hastily pry her tongue off of my cheek. Surprised but hardly alarmed, she mumbled, "…Neku? What're you – Gosh, what the heck are you doing? Did you need something?"

I wanted to slap my forehead, but with my arms held down, I couldn't.

XOXOXOXOXO

I spent five good minutes in the bathroom doing two things: washing the saliva off of my face, and letting the nosebleed that I had been holding in for so long to just go nuts in the sink. Seriously, after I was done the sink looked like a war zone, bloody and not for the faint of heart.

At Eri's request I related the morning's events to her. With each new development in the story, which I was growing restless just from retelling, she became more and more surprised. But at this tale's conclusion, she just seemed more amused than anything.

"So that's what really happened, Neku?" giggled Eri, who was now, by the way, a little more properly dressed in her T-shirt. "My, how embarrassing."

"And yet," I sighed, "you don't seem too embarrassed about it at all."

"Hee hee… To tell you the truth, I was dreaming about eating an iced lolly. I remember wondering why it was so salty! And then that's when I woke up and found out the truth."

I prodded carefully, "Y-You're not mad? Not in the very least?"

She gave a careless shrug. "Why would I? I don't think anything weird of it. I've been staying over at your place for so many times, I'm almost like a housemate. And with housemates, sooner or later this kind of situation is bound to happen, so I was prepared for it and I'm not bothered at all. I just didn't think it would be about me licking you silly. Honestly, it's kinda cute. Hee hee!"

"Eri," I huffed, "the way your brain works…"

"Are you saying," she said, pretending to sound hurt, "that you didn't like it? That you hate me for doing that?"

"N-No, I… Of course I wouldn't hate you, Eri… But…"

"Oh! So you loved it? Super! Wanna skip class and carry on where we left off?"

"Wh-Wh-WHAT? !"

"We'll have a whole day and night to ourselves… oooh! Sounds like fun, don't you think? Besides, I think you have a very sexy flavour. Yeah, that's how a Neku Sakuraba popsicle should taste like, ha ha ha!"

"Y-You're a pervert."

"Hee hee… whatever. So…" – she licked her lips on purpose – "…wanna?"

My answer was to promptly pour gallons of blood out of my nose and into my miso soup, ruining it in the process.

XOXOXOXOXO

Just because I had lost a lot of blood in the morning didn't mean I was too giddy for a confession. Today would be the day! Classes were over, and I had called Eri over to Miyashita Park where I hoped I could begin a new chapter in my love life. Now I just had to wait.

The excitement showed no signs of dying down, and the butterflies in my stomach were multiplying by the hundreds. I could see it now… The two of us standing face-to-face… The cityscape in the background… Evening sunlight draped over the city in a coat of orange…

"Neku?"

She gazes at me, curious to know the meaning behind my nervous smile… I tell her there's something I can relate to no one but her… and I've got her attention now. She's curious. She wants to know. She wouldn't let me go until she has her answer. Perfect setup for what is to come. And then…

"…Neku."

That look on her face as I say the three magic words… a look that changes from surprise to shock, but when she gasps, her hands to her mouth, I know I'd hit the right spot for her. She's happy! The fluttering of young hearts ensues as we embrace and mark the start of a new future together!

"Oi! NEKU!"

"Buh? !"

Was I startled! I spun round to find Eri standing there behind me. One hand was on her hip and she had this mixed look of confusion and annoyance. She had arrived! The girl I wanted so much to spend my days with was here! Hands getting clammy… heart thumping like a jackhammer… No, relax! It's Eri. She's been my friend for so long. It'd be okay! She wasn't a tiger, she wasn't a tiger, she wasn't a –

"C'mon, Neku," she sighed. "Pay more attention to your surroundings! If you want to daydream, don't do it while standing in a public place… some kind soul could take an embarrassing video of you and post it on the net."

"Urk… Good point."

"So what's going on?"

The sweat was gushing down my neck like fangirls on their way to a Prince concert… know how that's like? Fast. "Eri, I… I need to talk to you about… um, something."

The almost invisible frown on her face hinted at slight apprehension. "Is it bad news? Like you, um, finally ran out of recipes to teach me?"

A small smile on my part showed that I appreciated her humour. "It's nothing like that, don't you worry. But, see… there's something I wanted to – "

_THOOM!_

I didn't need the graying surroundings and that infernal loud noise for me to know that rain was on its way. Aw heck, why now? ! It was clichéd, wasn't it? !

She took one look at the skies. "That can't be good."

"I'm amazed you can stand around at a time like this," I deadpanned. "No, seriously Eri, c'mon! Get your butt in gear before we get – "

Suddenly, all too quickly, the heavens opened up and down came the rain with the cats and dogs. It was like a practical joke that was just plain bad.

"– wet?" finished Eri. "Too late. Yikes!"

"Quick! Over here!"

We were already running as soon as the rain smacked us dead-on and now we were making a mad dash for the public washroom. It had an awning that we could stand underneath to take cover from the rain. But of course heading inside together was out of the question…

So there we stood watching the park melt away in a watery haze. Beyond that curtain of raindrops, there was nothing to be seen. It wasn't just raining cats and dogs, it was raining the whole freaking zoo. And it looked like it would be that way for a long time, so heading back home in one dry piece wouldn't happen anytime soon. At least we weren't too soaked, so thank goodness for small favours. But, man… What a way to dampen my confidence… I didn't mind rain any other day, but when I needed all the good luck I could get my hands on, the last thing I wanted was a bad omen to spoil things…

"Whew!" she huffed. "If it gets this bad, even if you have an umbrella, you'd still get drenched."

"I-I'll say…"

"Oh yeah… You were saying?"

_No, come on, focus_, I told myself in my head. _All those stories about people breaking up on rain-soaked days are just that: stories._ I wouldn't be psyched out by sappy drama material. Real life never worked that way. In truth, this was still a pretty good situation! We were all by ourselves and there was no one to disturb us. So yeah, thank you, rain!

I swallowed hard and made sure I had her full attention by looking directly into her eyes. "Eri, to tell you the truth, I've always –"

She gasped. Her hands shot up to her mouth. Wait… wasn't this sequence of events wrong? She was supposed to gasp after I confessed to her, not before when the words hadn't even left my mouth! But if the situation was like this… Uh? She was looking past me too. Was there something behind me?

"N-Neku…" she stammered. "Um…!"

I spun round to find that my suspicions were correct. Someone was standing behind me. At the exact same moment I laid my eyes on him, lightning pierced through the air, turning his figure into a silhouette. None of his features were visible against the white background, which made the sight of him all the more frightening. The unwelcome visitor was tall and imposing and… Was he some lunatic on a killing rampage? ! And if he was, then why did he choose us? !

"GAH! ! !"

My scream caused the killer to stumble backwards a little. His voice rang out, "What's with that, sonny? You almost gave me a heart attack!"

The glare from the lightning cleared up and we could clearly see that our intruder was actually a policeman in a raincoat.

"What're you kids doing?" he asked. "Are you stuck here?"

"Oh!" Eri seemed relieved upon knowing the identity of our surprise guest that he wasn't about to disembowel us. "S-Sorry… yeah, we just kinda got caught in the rain and now we can't move."

"In that case, I'll loan you my spare umbrella. Now hurry and get to a drier place; there's better places to hide from the rain than a public washroom. Go on."

"We will, officer. Thank you. We'll be sure to drop it off at the nearest police box next chance we get."

As she took the umbrella from him and opened it up, he added, pointing at me, "By the way, miss, is your friend going to be okay?"

"Huh?"

"I think my sudden appearance might have scared him too much. He seems to be… foaming at the mouth?"

"Whoa? ! Neku! Speak to me! Are you okay? !"

Yeah, there I was, my stiff body propped against the wall, dripping foam from my mouth… Well, someone who had a low threshold for fright flicks would react the way I did. Dear, dear…

XOXOXOXOXO

Fast forward to a few minutes later. With the help of Eri and the policeman who had been the source of my grief, I had managed to pull myself together again… just don't ask me how. Either way, now we had finally arrived in a place that had _real_ shelter: a ramen shack. There happened to be one near Towa Records.

So I failed to drop the bomb on Eri about my feelings back at the park. Big deal. There's always Plan B! Restaurants with a casual atmosphere like this one were hardly the place for a confession, but when space and privacy are both at a premium and a storm is raging outside, sometimes you've got to make do with what you have and get the deed done. Now to find a corner seat where we could be in relative peace…

A quick glance around and my heart sank. They were all occupied? ! In fact, the whole restaurant was pretty much full house at the moment, and the only two available seats… were at the bar, right in front of everybody!

"C'mon, Neku!" Eri was pulling my arm towards those two seats and apparently having a hard time of it. "What's with you today? Do you know how tired I am of saying 'C'mon, Neku'? ! You look so out of it!"

"Sorry…"

"Seriously, you're like a fool in love."

That's because I _was_ one… minus the fool part, of course… or maybe not…

Dammit… Sitting way out here on the counter in the front, everybody else in the restaurant was out of my cone of vision if I looked dead straight ahead, but… who cared about that if all of the other customers could see us! The moron's adage 'If I close my eyes you can't see me' wouldn't work here. I couldn't confess to her in front of so many people. I just couldn't! If I did, I'd end up embarrassing her so much she might hate me. But… that wouldn't make sense… because if she could feed me ice-cream in public, then… huh?

Eri knew what ramen I was a fan of so she went ahead and ordered for the two of us, after which she turned her attention to me. "Okay, Neku, I'm getting seriously worried right now."

"Whuh?"

She was brimming with concern. "Excuse the expression, but you've been dopier than a rock. Is something wrong? Is that why you wanted to talk to me?"

"I'm okay… Eri."

"You sure about that?"

"Course of! Abso fine… lutely."

She rolled her eyes skywards and heaved a sigh.

"I-I'm sorry, Eri," I mumbled. "Wh-What did I just say?"

"I… I dunno. Lutely." She was… deadpanning? "No, seriously, you're not fine at all. What is with you?"

I was struggling to crank out a canned reply, like 'Oh, it's nothing' or 'Ah, I'm just a little tired' but she beat me to it just because my brain wasn't working fast enough.

In an uncharacteristically soft voice that she rarely used, she said, "Neku, if anything is bothering you, just tell me. I'll listen. We're the best of friends, right? You did say yourself that buddies help each other. So I'll always be here for you… lutely."

I half-grumbled, "Y-You know, you sounded cool up to the point where you said that last word, and it's not even a proper word…"

That carefree chuckle of hers went so well with her smile. "With time, it can be one. Maybe if I start slipping it into everyday conversations, I could start a revolution…"

"Please don't."

We soon had our bowls of ramen plopped in front of us. Those who didn't have an idea of the kind of person Eri was would think that, with all of her chirpy personality and good fashion sense, she was a woman of refinement. They couldn't be more wrong. Because instead of a posh sushi bar, here she was in some rundown ramen shack enjoying tonkotsu ramen and talking through her food. It was a far cry from the epitome of elegance that guys must have fantasized her to be. Well, despite the image she presented to the world, she had always been a simple and carefree person at heart.

Maybe that's why she liked hanging out with simple guys like me as opposed to some rich kid with a sports car and a megawatt smile. Well, she could be as unladylike as she wanted; I was crazy about her all the same!

"Come on," she mumbled. "Out with it! If something's bothering you… it's not good to keep it all bottled up inside."

"I… I know that. I want to talk to you about it too, but it's a really sensitive topic, so I'd rather we do it in private."

All of a sudden she halted, staring at me in… disbelief? And then, with the noodles still comically dangling from her mouth, she said, "…Private? ! Gee! Uh…"

"Eri?"

"Neku… I think I know what you're talking about."

"You do?" She did? Wow! My heart was thumping. If she knew exactly what was on my mind, then it just made my life a lot easier!

"Yes, yes, I understand. You want to wash my back, right? I understand that you haven't had the chance to do so ever since our second date."

The ramen nearly went down my windpipe. "What? !"

"Well, give and take, Neku," she shrugged. "I did explain to you that this is how the world works, so by right, that's what I still owe you. Oh, I know! Why don't we hit up the local _onsen_ (hot spring) while we're at it! I know a good one round here where Shiki and I used to go to. Trust me, the mixed baths are more decent than you th–"

I didn't really hear anything she said. I was busy trying to keep my bleeding nose away from my ramen bowl. The shop owner graciously fed me some tissues to plug it up before zipping away to serve another customer.

"Oh dear," gasped Eri. "A nosebleed again? You really have never set foot inside an _onsen_, have you?"

"Ugh…"

She suddenly seemed very determined for a reason. "We can't have this, Neku! There's no citizen here in Japan who's never been to the _onsen_ at least once in his or her lifetime! No wonder you're so unaccustomed to the mere sight of a little skin."

"S-Since when," I spluttered, "is it 'a little' skin with you around? !"

"Oh, grow up." The girl was obviously enjoying this… "And get your mind out of the gutter some time soon."

"Look who's talking."

"Gosh, have we gone seriously off-topic or what! What was this you wanted to talk to me about again? And sorry for the earlier digression."

I slipped more noodles into my mouth to stall for time. "L-Like I said, it's not something I can talk to you about in public… Could you wait a bit?"

"Can I guess? Is this about that time during one of my stays at your place when I accidentally used your toothbrush?"

My eyes sprang wide open. "You what? !"

"It's not that? Uh… then… you want to ask me about what happened on the night your underwear went missing? Just so you know, it's a long story…"

"Huh? ! You know about that? ! I've been searching for that last pair of briefs! What've you done with them? !"

"Wrong too? Oh, um… then could it be that you found out somehow about that night long ago when I snuck into your bedroom while you were sleeping and took a photo of your snoring face for fun?"

"Whoa, what? ! D-Delete that photo immediately! No way am I letting anyone see that!"

"T-Too late. I already sent it to Shiki…" And then, with a voice so small it was like she hoped I wouldn't hear what she had to say next, she added, "…and to Ai. And Mina. And, um, th-that one shopkeeper in 104 whom I'm good friends with. Plus a good portion of my club buddies."

There was a loud clang as my jaw dropped onto the counter. I had been going about my business with my great reputation sullied and I didn't even know about it until now? !

She cringed from the sight of my dead fish eyes locked onto her, and immediately clasped her hands into a praying gesture as a form of apology. "I-I'm sorry, Neku! I wouldn't do it ever again! I… I can kowtow to you later if you want me to… Just… I'm really sorry!"

Frustrated, I could only sigh. "N-Never mind. Let's just chuck this matter behind us for now. And all of the earlier ones, for that matter." Somehow my spirit to confess just dulled a little… "Eri, what I want to talk to you about is something completely different… and this isn't the place to have a discussion about that, so let's wait till later."

"D-Did I do something wrong that I haven't mentioned yet?"

"If you did," I grimaced, "I don't want to hear it right now!"

"Sorry! ! !" Geez, this was getting out of hand…

XOXOXOXOXO

Just how many people had seen my sleeping face?

If it was just a few people, it might have been fine – laugh about it, admit I looked silly, then get over it. But Eri's circle of friends was large… I didn't want to be popular this way…

The rain was gone and with nothing else to be done, we were heading back home. There was no rush, so we took our time in a leisurely stroll. We were careful to avoid the puddles of water left behind from the downpour, with Eri being even more so because she hated getting her favourite boots soiled.

But… I still hadn't confessed to her yet! Come on… Shibuya was a big city. Surely there had to be someplace quiet enough for such an important occasion!

Suddenly, the heavens blessed me with an idea: A-East. It was one of the less populated areas of Shibuya, and was essentially a very wide alley with tall buildings on either side, enshrouding much of the streets there in shade. While it wasn't perfect like Miyashita Park was and the chances of being discovered mid-confession were still pretty good, at least it wasn't as crowded as the other places. With some luck and ducking into the right shadows to avoid unwanted gawking, things could go off without so much of a hitch. As much as I hated to admit, I was getting desperate. Yes, I could have waited another day but I had enough of waiting!

Flushed with the exciting prospect of romantic success, I quickened my steps without realizing it. Only when Eri slapped me on the arm lightly did I notice.

"Neku, wait up!" she said. "What're you hurrying for?"

It almost seemed strange how confident I was feeling, but I wasn't going to nitpick here, nosiree! "Eri, could you come with me to A-East?"

She didn't seem as hyped up as me. "Huh? That's, like, quite a ways away… Whaddya need, something from Lapin Angelique? Bunny parkas are cute, but I don't think they suit you. Trust me, they don't."

"Wh-What made you come to that weird conclusion? Anyway, I promise I'll make it all worth your while, so if you can just bear with it…"

"Sure," she shrugged, smiling slightly, "why not? The sight of you in a bunny parka might be worth a few laughs. Two long ears sticking out of your hair…" She reached behind my head and made what I imagined to be a V-sign to represent rabbit ears. "Cute! Hee hee!"

"Enough of the bunny stuff already!"

Her jokes may go overboard sometimes, but her playfulness was part of what made her so cute in the first place…

And that was how we ended up at A-East. It sure was a shady place, great for beating the city heat in the summer or on any day it was sweltering. Only a few people were milling around and none of them seemed interested in our presence. That was good for me. Good for _us_.

"So we came all the way here," said Eri. "What's there to see? I get that vampire dresses are nice in their own horrific way, but…"

This was my chance and I seized it. I could hardly contain my excitement. I cleared my throat, and began, "Eri, first of all, sorry for making you walk this far. But it's very important to me as you shall soon see."

"Neku? What's with the sparkle in your eyes? Did something good happen?"

"Ahem… well, um, yeah, I guess. Eri… actually, to tell you the truth…"

I couldn't have chosen a worse time and place. Out of seemingly nowhere this man emerged, wearing his fame and popularity like a coat of arms. At the same time, several dozens of girls, mostly teenagers and 20-somethings, blinked in from the nowhere dimension like he did and started screaming. Not in fright, but in sheer fanatical madness. And it was easy to see why. Just ask Eri.

The girl was on the verge of a mental breakdown. "Oh my god!" she squealed, eyes locked onto the man. "It's… It's The…! It's Th-Th-Th-Th…"

I groaned. "…Just say it already."

And she did. "…THE PRINCE! Oh my god, Neku… I… This…" She grasped me by the shoulders so tightly that it hurt and started jabbering away like a hamster on an overdose of coffee. "N-Neku! This doesn't happen often. This is like a dream! And… And I've always wanted to meet him. It's that aura of his that shines a million times brighter than the sun, you know? ! I'm sorry, but could you wait? I-It'll take only a teensy-weensy bit of time. I just need his photograph, and… and his autograph on this album I've been keeping with me in my waist bag at all times on the off chance that he'd show up in front of me, which he did, which in itself is just so UNBELIEVABLE that I – "

"Go on," I sighed, "or the other girls are gonna beat you to it."

She ignored my sarcasm… actually, she ignored me completely in favour of her favourite pop idol. And so she joined the ranks of crazy girls who were surrounding him.

He was all smiles and sparkling white teeth as he tried to calm the crowd, but it was to no avail. Whether the image he presented to his fans was all a disgustingly pretty façade or he genuinely craved their attention, I wasn't too sure myself, but one thing was for certain: he messed up my confession scene big-time. Gee, thanks for nothing, Mr Spicy Tuna Roll!

I found a small bookshop nearby where I could better spend my time waiting for Eri to finish up on her testosterone fest. Dammit… It was my best chance too! Was everything that had happened up till now all an elaborate prank from a higher being?

XOXOXOXOXO

It would be a good half hour before the chaos died down at last and Eri rejoined me. I called it quits with A-East and we made the trek back to our neighbourhood. Her chance meeting with The Prince left her overjoyed.

And she was squealing and squealing and squealing. "Oh, man! This is awesome! I've always wanted to get The Prince's autograph, but his public appearances are getting rarer these days. Must be work and all. Anyway, it's a good thing we passed through here. Talk about lucky!"

"Uh-huh…" Great. What about _my_ luck?

Being the fangirl that she was, she couldn't bring herself to stop gushing. "He's so much more gorgeous in person. I thought he was already cool enough on TV but seeing him up close really swept me clear off the ground. Really, his face, his mannerisms… it's all perfect. It's no wonder he's the most sought-after guy in Shibuya!"

"Yeah, I guess I can't compare…"

Upon hearing this, she sobered up and her smile glazed over. "Neku? Wait, what are you saying?"

I was so heavily demoralized at this point that I became careless with my words. "Well, it's not my fault that Eiji Oji's so much better than I am. In comparison I'm not all that much, huh?"

Only after the words left my mouth did I realize how stupid I had sounded. It was like I was spiting her for liking her favourite pop idol, and I was no better than a jealous, overly possessive child. From the corner of my eye I saw that Eri's smile was completely gone. What had I done? I immediately regretted it…

"Neku," she said, "look at me."

I didn't like the tone she was using. It was flat and almost emotionless, but it didn't take chicken brains to tell she was displeased. Nevertheless it was time for me to face the music, so I slowly turned to do as she asked.

Then something unexpected happened. Without warning she grabbed onto my head by the cheeks with both hands and leaned in real close. Our faces were mere inches apart! She could have startled the skin right off of my bones, but there was more for my sorry person to endure. Her eyelids drooped closed, as though she was expecting me to… no. No way. No freaking way!

Did she want me to kiss her? ! Or maybe it was the other way around, and that it was she who wanted to kiss me. But… the other pedestrians who were nearby were starting to stare and point. Oh god! This was so embarrassing! My face was but a meadow of red, whereas Eri's was as fair as ever. Of course she wouldn't be affected, what with her natural resistance to embarrassment. This was so unfair!

The overall feeling that I could sense from the onlookers was anticipation. I didn't share their enthusiasm, however. If I wanted to kiss Eri, it would be after I properly confessed to her, and definitely not in a public place where we were the centre of attention…

She took a deep breath… and everyone else's breaths were caught in their throats. And then she said the magic words…

"Eat…"

Eh?

"…THIS!"

_WHACK!_

Argh! She… She headbutted me! The pain in my forehead was acute and made me want to recoil but her stubborn grip on my head kept me in place. "Gah! Why'd you hit me, Eri? !"

"Because you're an idiot." With our faces still at close range, she glared at me, eyes fierce and piercing.

"Wh – I'm an idiot?"

"Yeah! Do you seriously think you and Eiji Oji are comparable? !"

Ouch! So… So that was how the mother of all blows to my pride felt like… like a million punches to the gut, one after another… Yeah, I get that Eiji Oji's the super stud who's heaps better than I was. Ahaha… Just end my torture already…

"You're a fool," she continued, "to think I'd even put you and The Prince on the same level. He may be a famous singer and movie star, but _you are my best friend!_"

"Huh?" What did she…?

She was getting real vocal about it now. "Look! I know The Prince is hot. I know he's talented, and that he's nice enough to pay attention to all of his fans. But he isn't like you! You're selfless, you always care about my welfare, and you're always ready to lend me some moral support when I need it most! You're way better than he is."

I was simply astonished. More or less, I knew that she thought rather highly of me, as boastful as I might sound. It's true, though. But hearing it all from her mouth – and she had done this before, I might add – was both flattering and bewildering and never failed to be so every single time. My reply to this tirade of hers was a small, "Really?"

"DUH!"

Yikes!

"Sure, you've got your faults, Neku. You're not perfect. But you're the greatest guy friend a girl could ever ask for. No one else could ever begin to compare! So there! Hmph!"

She finally pried her forehead away from mine but maintained nearness and eye contact. "Listen, Neku. We girls aren't just dumb sheep. We can differentiate between true friendship and fangirl obsession. There are people whom we idolize for the fun of it, but we never forget about who's _really_ special to us."

"Eri…"

Her anger had long melted away and the smile she had in place of her earlier scowl was warm and kind. "So even if I treat The Prince like a god, you'll always have a place in my heart as my most important friend. Always."

I had never felt so touched in my life! I could swear my eyes were just beginning to get wet when suddenly the silence was snapped by a… was that someone clapping? Slowly, gradually, the whole place was filled with the sound of applause. There was even whistling and shouts of approval and they came from the onlookers whom we had totally forgotten about until now.

Boy was she surprised. "Whoa! I didn't think anyone was watching."

"O-Of course they were," I muttered. "Now come on, let's hightail it outta here!"

Unable to bear the attention a second longer, I grabbed her by the wrist and zipped away as fast as I could, with her struggling to keep up with me.

We slowed down once we had placed a safe enough distance between us and our impromptu audience. By now the sunset was rolling in and by the time we got home the skies would be dark. The calmness of the evening was a stark contrast to the hullaballoo that The Prince had stirred up earlier.

Eri's words gave me a good feeling… a feeling that, no matter how much the odds were stacked against me, she would always remain my most loyal friend and vice versa. My failed confession didn't seem so bad.

"H-Hey, Eri?"

"Yeah?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Th-Thanks… you know, for what you said just now. I'm glad you still think of me as your friend. Um, I mean… well…"

Her gentle chuckle was music to my ears. "Think nothing of it. By the way, are you crying?"

"Wh – N-No!" I swiveled my head sharply away from her, but it was hopeless. She had probably seen everything anyway. But in a less-than-stellar attempt to cover up for myself, I spluttered the most overused excuse in the world that a crying man could ever use, "There's just something in my eyes. That's all. Really!"

"Something in your eyes, huh. Like tears?"

Gah! As she laughed I knew she got me good.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Neku, thanks for taking me out today. I had fun."

"Er, yeah. You're welcome."

"I'll be sure to send a little something your way as a token of my appreciation. Tempura much?" She ruffled my hair affectionately like she always was known to do.

"I gotta admit," I said, allowing a smile, "that I'd like that. But really, I didn't do much."

"Oh yeah!" She pounded her fist into the open palm of her free hand, as if she remembered something important. "I never did get round to knowing what you had wanted to talk to me about all this time. So… care to share?"

It felt like a long way coming, what with all the distractions and such, but the time I had been waiting for had arrived. Finally I had been granted me a stage to put my best foot forward! I took a quick look all around me. We were standing in the foyer of my apartment, so if it suddenly rained, we'd be safe. There were no suspicious characters in raincoats lurking around to frighten me. Eiji Oji was nowhere to be seen. In short, there was nothing that could possibly interrupt me now. It was perfect.

And now, showtime!

With a voice as soft as down, I said to her, "Eri, please listen to me carefully."

"Okay…" I could tell she was growing curious.

"Actually, Eri, I… I really…"

My eyes slammed shut momentarily and there was an impending explosion in my chest. My innate shyness was trying to hold me back, but I refused to give in. I had come this far… there was no way I would stop now.

"I really like you!" I almost bellowed. "I feel this way about you and I simply have to let you know. You're very important to me. I know I could say more but I'm not good with words, so please believe me when I say that I like you, because I really really do!"

Eri just stared at me. She was astonished. Speechless. Mind gone blank, I presumed. But that growing blush betrayed the blank look on her face. And that was the reaction I had been so eagerly waiting for! My heart was pounding like stupid. What would she say next? !

She giggled and gave me a hug so brief I didn't even have time to return it. With a smile that could melt ice, she said, "Aww, shucks, Neku, you sure know how to make a girl's day. Thanks! I like you too!"

Huh?

A glance at her watch was followed by a look of surprise. "Whuh-oh. Getting late. Sorry, Neku, I can't stay for much longer. I gotta get back home." As she scampered away she called out, "I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay? 'Night!"

"Uh… yeah. G-Good night." Aaaand there she went, trotting off down the street.

Hey… for a response to such an important event, wasn't hers rather slapdash? Shouldn't she say something like "Oh my gosh, I don't know what to say", or "I'm happy you feel this way about me, but I can't give you my answer right this moment"…? What happened? I was sure I said everything the right way. There was a nice mood going too, so…

No. I had to analyse this further. Had to… rewind the tape. Rewind… Did I say something that was different than what I had planned…

"_Actually, Eri, I… I really… I really like you! I feel this way about you and I simply have to let you know. You're very –"_

Oh damn. I knew what had gone wrong.

It's all because I said the word "_like_" instead of "_love_"! Where it should have been "Eri, I _love_ you" I had fumbled it up and said "Eri, I _like_ you"! So that made her think that I thought of her as merely a treasured friend. And of course she would respond how she did!

Argh! I was an idiot! An idiot in life, an idiot in love… A total. Freaking. IDIOT! ! !

I was cursing the whole way back up to my place and spent the next full minute banging my head against my front door until the landlady heard the noises I was making and stopped me.

"Sakuraba!" she snapped sternly. "You stop that racket right this instant! And stop whacking your head on the door, you're going to break the wood."

At her insistence, I eventually relented and trudged back inside, sulking and hating myself. Then I got busy wrapping bandages around my heavily bleeding forehead. I could badmouth the world as much I wanted to, but the only one I could blame was myself. And… ugh… my whole head looked like a rotten fruit.

"Oh well," I muttered, "tomorrow's a new day. Maybe I can try again tomorrow. No, maybe I should plan out my confession first. Yeah… sounds about right. So, Eri… please wait for me."

The thought of seeing her pretty blushing face again took much of the sting out of my failure. Next time, I swore, I would get it right.

And thus, with my renewed resolve, I was ready for bed. Yup, tomorrow's a new day. But first, I'd have to clean the blood off of my door.

XOXOXOXOXO

Incidentally, the next day, there was a bizarre news report on TV…

"…On the lighter side of things," said the newsreader, "this video was posted on the internet yesterday. It shows a couple in Shibuya having an argument, but not exactly any ordinary argument…"

Huh… It happened in Shibuya yesterday? What could be so interesting that they'd show a couple's love quarrel on TV?

The screen cut away to footage from said video, presumably recorded by some curious bystander's cell phone. The girl had her head plastered against the boy's and she was yelling rather loudly into his face.

Wait a minute! That couple was me and Eri! That was when she was miffed at me for having low self-esteem and was teaching me a lesson about friendship and stuff. H-How did we end up on TV? ! No, how did we end up on the internet? !

I hoped the video would blur at some point and make us less noticeable, but unfortunately for me, the cameraman had a steady hand and the visuals were very clear – what a good cell phone he must have! Anyone watching could clearly see us. To make matters worse, there was audio, and it was top-notch too.

"Sure, you've got your faults, Neku," Eri could be heard saying. "You're not perfect. But you're the greatest guy friend a girl could ever ask for. No one else could ever begin to compare! So there! Hmph!"

And then came the most embarrassing part: when all of the onlookers were so entranced by this moving spectacle that they applauded us. The video ended with me grabbing Eri and dragging her away in double-quick time.

The newsreader spoke up here, "It seems the girl was trying to tell the boy how special he was to her and that he shouldn't worry too much about face value. There was a happy ending too, as the boy seemed to accept what she said." In a lighthearted tone, she added, "This is something we can all learn from."

My head was going up in smoke from knowing that we had gained our thirty seconds of fame and that video was probably going viral as I spoke.

Seconds after the report concluded, I got a call from Eri. "Hey, Neku! Did you catch the news just now? !"

"Y-Yeah, unfortunately, I did."

"Don't be so negative about it," she laughed. "We're on TV! We're on the internet! That video's probably being downloaded by the hundreds, maybe thousands! Even if it's only for a while, we're famous, baby! Famous! How awesome is that? !"

Oh boy, it was going to be a little harder to walk down the streets now…

"I've got to start practicing how to sign autographs," she joked. "You do the same too, okay? The masses would probably be clamouring for _both_ of our signatures, after all! Ha ha ha!"


	12. Men's Magazine Mania

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 12)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Yesterday, I attempted to confess to Eri, but bungled it up so badly that she thought I was just thanking her for her moral support as a _friend_. Just a friend.

Maybe I really was being too hasty, so I decided to slow down and think things through. My knowledge in such matters was extremely limited, however: the gears that kept my brain running were rusty and I needed some inspiration to oil them and get them moving again… Yes, some good ideas with which I could bolster my strategy would be great right about now.

That was why I was hovering around the bookstore. There was an abundance of magazines there and I was hoping I could find one of those fashionable men's magazines. They always screamed such great things on the cover such as "5 Things Men Should Know About Women" or "Make Her Fall In Love With You Super-Quick!", so I hoped to find something that was right up my alley.

The lavish spread of magazines left me rather confused – which one should I start with first? – and I absent-mindedly picked one up at random. There was a lot of stuff written on the cover but the first thing that grabbed my attention, in bold red print…

…was the words, "Bumper Sex Guide (how to make her feel good the right way!)"

Whoa? ! If Eri had caught me reading this, that'd be bad… maybe. Or at least really awkward. But definitely not life-threatening. She _had_ always been one to shrug off things that would make others panic, right?

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. When I turned, like a scene from a slapstick movie, there she was right in my face!

"Hi!"

"Gah!"

She recoiled a little. "What's that for, Neku? ! Is that how you greet people? Last I heard, 'Gah' doesn't mean 'Hello' around here!"

"S-Sorry. You just appeared out of nowhere, Eri. Of course I'd be surprised. What are you doing here?"

"I happened to see you in this bookstore as I was out and about so I popped in to say hi. That's pretty much it." She quickly noticed how fidgety I was growing and carelessly shot me a guess as to why I was so. "…Neku, are you hiding something behind your back?"

"Urk? ! Um, no. Nothing. Nothing at all. Yup. No two ways about it."

"Really now… Suspicious…"

Well, I couldn't just show her that the magazine I had been reading had sex advice in it, and that it was splashed all over the front cover to boot! Given how close we were, it would be simply be too weird for her to know I was about to delve into "how to make her feel good the right way"!

Eri was craning her neck and trying to peer around my back. "You're not a shoplifter now, are you, Neku?"

"Wh-Why would I do that? !"

"If you're going to swipe skin mags so unprofessionally, you might as well fork over the cash." She was starting to chuckle. "You're not a good thief, apparently."

"S-Skin mags? ! No, no, you're mistaken… I wasn't, like… I'm not into those kinds of things!"

"That doesn't sound convincing coming from someone who's poking around the adult section."

"Huh? !"

Hastily I looked up at the banner of the bookshelves, and true to Eri's words, it said, "ADULTS ONLY".

Crud. I must have wandered here by mistake!

Seeing my defeated and humiliated face, Eri eased up on her teasing, but not by much if she was anything to go by – I mean, she was still laughing. Even when she patted me on the head, it didn't help my embarrassment. "You're acting just like a student in junior high, you know that? Heh… brings back memories! When you remember how we were all a bunch of under-18's struggling with puberty and tyrannical school policies, it's a relief to know we're college students. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I… I guess. Still… these things are a bit –"

"They're magazines, Neku, not 'things'," she chuckled. "And I've read a few myself too, you know? So there. I win!"

I gulped. "Huh? You've read them before? ! And what's with 'I win'? !"

Nonchalant as ever, she explained herself, "As you know, I'm a fashion enthusiast, and since these magazines tend to have photos of beautiful women, I thought I could get some ideas for my clothing designs by studying the clothes they're modeling. You never know where inspiration can pop up, right? It never hurts to be adventurous."

"Oh, I see. If you put it that way, it makes sense you'd want to try reading stuff like this."

"I gave up eventually though."

"Because men's magazines aren't your thing anyway?"

"Nah, it's just that those models aren't wearing anything most of the time. How do you expect me to get fashion ideas from a _naked_ person?"

"Um, uh-huh. Y-Yeah." Geez, this girl really could talk about taboo topics like this with a straight face, and with a guy at that!

She cast a quick glance at her watch. "Oh, look at the time. I gotta head somewhere else, so I'll catch you later, 'kay, Neku? Just make sure you pay up like a good citizen."

"I… I wasn't going to buy this!"

All she had for me was a cheeky snigger and she was gone. Man… totally got busted, huh… Mental note to self: never hang around the adults section again! Especially when members of the opposite sex who know you are present!

I was about to make haste for a relatively safer aisle when a particular magazine yanked my line of sight towards it. Being caught red-handed by my best gal pal wasn't the nicest feeling in the world, so the guilt was twice as bad for me to even look at it. But when I saw the cover, I was transfixed. At a glance, there were no good articles to be found, unless "Sort Out Your Bedtime Problems Before Your Girl Gets Fed Up!" could be considered one, which it wasn't.

But that issue's model was simply beautiful. The magazine even shouted loud promises of an in-depth interview and a selection of her tastiest photos. Now, I don't usually like these cheap crotch-warmers – so to speak – but I was sold when I saw her face. And the fact that she was decked out in a hot bra and a pose to kill.

So now I was the owner of a copy of _FGM_ (_For Guys Monthly_) with the delicious Ryoko*L on the cover… whoever she was. It sure felt like I was cheating on Eri, but just this once, I allowed myself the sin of feasting my eyes on another girl. Sorry, Eri… it wouldn't happen again, I _promise_!

…I must have sounded stupid making a promise like that.

Incidentally, from the time I was lining up at the cashier to the moment the money left my hands, I couldn't shake off the feeling that everyone was staring at me… scrutinizing me for buying something like a men's magazine. I had never bought one before in my whole life, so I was very apprehensive. In my head, the other customers were thinking, "Oh, so this kid's a sucker for skin and naked chicks." My face was deep red and I couldn't help it! On hindsight, they probably didn't care, but the thought never occurred to me back then.

I really was an idiot.

XOXOXOXOXO

My teenage years were relatively innocent as far as, well, teenage years go in the twenty-first century. Puberty had been a trying time – my interest in girls was met only by my shyness with the opposite sex. I remember how scared I'd get trying to confess to my then-crush Shiki and then chickening out at the last minute. And when it was lunch break and the guys passed around skin mags – sharing is caring, they'd claim – I never found the courage to join them.

So I'd never actually seen what the contents of those magazines were like. And now… I was holding one in my very hands.

What sort of dirt would be found inside? Pages upon pages of how to score with the girls? Tips on what made them tick? Secret recipes for instant-effect aphrodisiacs? ! It'd be the ultimate playboy's bible, except I wasn't playboy material!

To read or not to read? Sure, I'd already bought it. It's rightfully mine. And if I didn't do something useful with it, I'd have wasted my 1300 yen. But what if I come across something inside that would scar me forever and change my outlook on life for the worse? Maybe something like, "The Brutal Truth: Girls Love Big ****s. Do YOU have a Big ****?"

…And no, I am not answering that question!

Eventually, curiosity and the lure of Ryoko*L made me reach for the damn 'zine. How could I call myself a man if I was so nervous over a book? To heck with cold feet. This was a life experience, and you never stop learning, right?

I flipped to a page at random, like I was in a game of Russian roulette, and expected to land in an article full of smut. This headline greeted me:

"Basic Car Repair: Spare Tyres, Carburetor Replacements and More!"

Huh?

It went on: "Cars. What can we do without them? We take them for granted, and yet, when they break down for whatever reason on our way to an important date, we curse and swear at them to death. To help get yourself out of sticky situations (or at least make your situation a little less stickier), hotshot mechanic Ben Yamamoto lets us in on some simple basic car repair tips." The few pages after that showed some steps on how to fix various automobile grievances, complete with photos.

Okay… wasn't expecting that. But I was sure that the rest of the mag wouldn't be so innocent! I checked into another page, and found:

"How To Ask For A Pay Raise… And Get Results!"

Another safe article? I leafed through the remainder of the magazine and earned myself an eye-opener: actually, the notion that men's magazines were chock-full of dirty stuff was false. Most of the content was about typical guy stuff: cars, gadgets, skin care, music… the works. _FGM_ had its share of sexiness too, but it made up just a small fraction of the entire magazine, and even then, it was tamer than I thought. The interview with Ryoko*L was the main highlight, and her tastefully taken photographs were nice to drool over for a while, but let's face it: I had seen bolder stuff on the internet.

So, long story short, men's magazines weren't all that bad. Heh, what a fool I had been all this while! If you took out all the sexy bits, they'd be pretty ordinary.

Oh right! I just remembered. I was hoping to find some love advice! My fingers sifted through the pages frantically. There had to be something in here that could help me confess to Eri and achieve a favourable outcome.

No luck. Much to my disappointment, this month's issue wouldn't be any help as there was nothing. Instead, there was the aforementioned "Sort Out Your Bedtime Problems Before Your Girl Gets Fed Up!" article – stuff about premature ejaculation and… other things… that I wouldn't need to worry about for a little while… at least until Eri and I are… are… l-look, can we not go into this? !

Just then, the doorbell rang, followed by a familiar voice, "Neku? Yoohoo! You in there?"

Gah… That was Eri! It was scary how she could come and go as she pleased!

There was a stack of old magazines that I left on the coffee table for any visitors that I might have, and I shoved my _FGM_ copy to the bottom of it, hoping it would stay hidden for the duration of her visit. I could hide it under my bed, but the door needed answering and I was pressed for time! Besides, that was the only place I could think of at the moment.

In the doorway stood my favourite lunatic, complete with that cheeky grin of hers. "Hey, Neku, sorry to bother ya… (hic!) but I'm feeling a wee bit tipsy…"

"So what else is new?"

I helped her to the couch where she slumped like a slice of soggy bread. The whole time, she was rambling, not an uncommon sight in my house.

"No, honest, Neku… It's just (hic!) a weeeee bit! Like, wheeee! Get it? Ha ha ha!"

"…Uh-huh. I'll get you some water." I started filling a glass at the kitchen sink.

A "wee bit"? Ha, hardly! With the way she was splayed out on the couch, unable to move one inch, I'd be hard-pressed to call her state of drunkenness just a "wee bit". She was totally smashed! But it wasn't so bad. At least she wouldn't have the energy to look through the pile of magazines and accidentally discover my… you know.

Still thinking that everything was okay, I happened to look back just in time to see her pulling magazines off the coffee table and spreading them over herself.

I freaked out. "Eri! What are you doing? !" The stack was almost reduced to the last one. One or two more and my secret would be exposed!

"Whassamatter? I'ma sleep now… need a blanket…"

"And you're using my magazines as a duvet? ! Cut it out!"

She was about to reach for the second last one when I grabbed her hand and stopped her. Whew, close one! Now I just needed to get her to the spare bedroom, where I hoped she'd doze off from the alcohol. "Come on," I said, gently pulling her into a sitting position. "This is no place to sleep. Let's get you to a bed."

"I'm already on a bed, silly. And I'm not budging, ya hears me?"

"Whatever."

"Hoi, come join me! The couch is nice an' soft!"

"_Now_ you're calling it a couch? ! And – gah!" She grabbed my arm suddenly and caused me to stumble. Although I was able to keep my balance, the glass of water that I was holding spilled all over the front of my shirt.

She bolted upright. "Oops! Sorry, my bad. Your shirt's all wet? Mm-hmm… Better take it off. Colds aren't any good for ya, handsome."

Gracelessly she rose from the couch, letting all the magazines she had draped on herself tumble to the floor like a house of cards. She tried to stand, but it was hard doing it on unsteady feet. In fact, she would have fallen flat on her face had I not caught her. My shirt may have been drenched but now wasn't the time to worry about that. Eri was the bigger source of concern… because if I let her be, she might do something insane. Anything was possible, but I didn't want that right now!

But I was too slow, and for a drunkard, she was too cunning. While I was still holding her up, she reached behind me for the hem of my shirt, and in a flash, she peeled it off over my head.

"Off," she squealed, "with your shirt!"

It was so fast I didn't know what was happening until I saw my own shirt in her hands. Finding myself topless came as a rude surprise.

"Whoa! Eri, what the heck? !"

"I told yas, colds aren't good fer – eek! Neku? !"

"…Now what? !"

She clutched my shirt to her chest protectively and suddenly looked somewhat fearful. "Neku? Wh-What are you doing without your shirt? Are you trying to… to seduce me? ! I'll have you know that I have a strict personal policy of abstinence before marriage, so don't try anything funny!"

What the heck… "How drunk are you anyway – oh, great. I'm asking a silly question. Look, just get to bed already. Come on, I'll help you to your bedroom."

"Don't need to." Then, in a very exasperating turn of events, she staggered back to the couch where she promptly lay down and started decorating herself with magazines again! "This here's my couch. My bed. Whatever… I'ma sleep here, so don't you disturb me."

"Argh!" I was ready to tear my hair out. "Back to square one? !"

I expected her to retort, or do something wildly stupid, but nothing happened. Her eyes were closed. So… she finally fell asleep. After the most exasperating ten minutes of the day, peace had returned to the residence of Sakuraba.

Amidst the gentle sound of her breathing, I sighed and wiped the sweat off of my forehead. "Man… what a way for an evening to go by."

When she nods off while drunk she sleeps like a log. Nothing can rouse her. I could carry her to the spare bedroom without any fear of waking her up (and if it interests you, she was surprisingly light in my arms), so I did just that. On any other day I would have dawdled a little to get a good look at her pretty face, but right now I was just plain tired. Miraculously, she never found out about my secret magazine, so it was all good, I guess.

I gathered up the scattered magazines and laid them back on the coffee table. And with that, it was time for me to head to bed.

But I had no idea what was in store for me tomorrow…

XOXOXOXOXO

I usually woke up earlier than Eri did, if she was staying over at my place. So when I saw her sitting at the dining table with a steaming mug of hot cocoa, I knew I had overslept. Must have been so zonked from the stress of last night's fiasco. She, on the other hand, looked radiant despite half-combed bed hair and an absence of pants.

Cheery as ever, without a trace of the dopiness from yesterday, she shrilled, "'Morning, Neku!"

"Oh… you're up, Eri."

"I, uh, kinda used a teensy bit of your cocoa for my morning drink. Hope it's okay. It's okay with you, right, Neku? You wouldn't get mad at li'l ol me?"

"…Next time," I mumbled deadpan, "I'm charging."

"Yeow… I must have hit a nerve. Oh, can I ask you something?"

"Huh? Yeah… shoot."

"You know how I went out for a drink with the girls last night? I remember crashing here, but nothing else after that, so I was hoping you could fill me in. Did I do anything strange?"

My head started to spin. Since she asked, I just gave it to her straight. "You staggered in drunk, then lay down on the couch and started piling magazines on top of yourself. And when I tried to get you to the bedroom so you could sleep properly, you made me spill water on myself. As if that wasn't enough, you forcibly stripped me topless! That pretty much sums it up, alright! Man, the things you do when you're drunk…"

She cast a goggle-eyed stare my way. "I… I did that?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay."

The top of my head could have flown off. "D-Don't 'oh, okay' me! It was really crazy, you know!"

Eri was the type to downplay the most ridiculous of things and claim that nothing was ever wrong. With a short laugh she shrugged, "Aww, Neku. After all the times I slept over, all the good times we shared, and all the times you've seen me naked, I'd have thought you'd be used to bizarre happenings by now." She bit her finger suggestively. "I guess our friendship isn't as… _intimate_ as I thought it was. Hee hee!"

Arguments against Eri were never won. "For the record," I grumbled, blushing hard, "I've never seen you naked before. Almost, perhaps, but never completely. Now let's leave this filth aside and have breakfast already."

"Tee hee… Yes sir!"

I had not even placed the pot on the stove to start cooking when she stopped me. "By the way, I didn't know you were a fan of Ryoko*L. That makes the two of us!"

"Ryoko… who?"

She went on to explain, "Ryoko*L is an up-and-coming artiste… well, of course you'd know that. She's strictly indie, but she's getting famous. She's got a rich voice and her songs just take you to a different dimension altogether. I mean, The Prince is good too, but Ryoko*L is hot in her own way. Oh, am I rambling too much? Anyway, she's awesome."

Why would she talk about this Ryoko*L now? Wait… This feeling of dread that was building up inside me as I spoke… Don't tell me she…

"And guess what, Neku? Her personal secret to staying in shape is being vegetarian. Oh, and she loves carrots! Is that interesting or what? I wouldn't have known this tidbit about her if it weren't for the new magazine I found lying around here!"

The hairs on my neck stood on end when she fished up my _FGM_ magazine from the coffee table, dangling it from her hand to show me. Nooo! I forgot to take it away to my room last night where I could have properly hidden it! What was I going to do now? ! If she wasn't going to think I was a weirdo/pervert then the teasing would be so thick I could cut it with a knife!

"So have you heard any of her songs yet?" grilled a smiling Eri. "I've got some of her songs in my cell phone that I can share with you if you haven't got them already. My favourite is 'Bloom in the Night'. It's dark, it's melancholy, it's the perfect song to cry to. Whether you're a happy guy or a gloomy one, you should get it!"

Funny… she hadn't started picking on me yet…

"Um, Neku? Are you awake? Morning sleepiness not cleared up yet?"

"Eri… forgive me if I sound a bit off, but do you not think it's… odd?"

She frowned. "What? ! 'Bloom in the Night' is _not_ odd! It's brilliant stuff!"

Before she could slam me for committing sacrilege on her beloved Ryoko*L, I hastily said, "N-No, that's not what I meant. I mean, well, I just bought myself a men's magazine… and you're okay with it?"

"Huh? Are you talking about _FGM_?" The look on her face was a confused one, like she didn't see what the main issue at hand was. She looked from the magazine to me and back again. "What's wrong with buying stuff like this?"

I didn't expect such a blank reaction from her and was dumbfounded. "I-Isn't this the part where you laugh at me and spout nonsense like, 'So Neku's finally getting in touch with his inner pervert'? Y-You're not going to do anything?"

"…Do you want me to? For something so _normal_?" Her brows knitted even more. "Seriously? It's like making fun of someone for, like, breathing."

"Huh?"

"Men's magazines aren't such a big deal," she said, following a sip from her mug. "It's simply something you read to pass the time. Of course you don't read them on the bus or train 'cause people around you will get uncomfortable, but a guy can read what he wants in the comfort of his own home. What's wrong with that? Besides, you're old enough. Heck, we're freaking adults now."

"Oh, um, but…"

"But nothing. There's nothing strange with it. You can hoard all the girly magazines you want; I don't care. I'm cool."

That's just like Eri. She wouldn't look any deeper into these kinds of matters. The only one making a mountain out of a molehill was me. So I guess that was one bullet dodged… couldn't be bad.

Back to her preppy excited ways, she said, "Oh yeah! So anyway, you're a fan of Ryoko*L, right? I like a lot of things about her, but it's her personality that won me over. So which part about her do you like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was it her voice you fell in love with at first sound? Or that despite her rocker image, she's really kind at heart and does charity work? If it's simply her loud attire that drew you in, that's cool too! So which is it?"

I didn't know the slightest thing about Ryoko*L except that she was a real looker. She was what pushed me to make the purchase yesterday, but the real reason was deeper than one might think. Eri was an open-minded person so she might not mind if I told her. And after she talked to me so earnestly just now, I didn't feel like making up excuses.

I gulped. "T-To tell you the truth, I don't know anything about Ryoko*L."

"Huh? You don't?" Her lips were pursed in deep thought.

"I… I bought the magazine because Ryoko*L looks a lot like you, Eri."

Her eyes widened a little at that. But what I said was true. Eri was a beautiful girl… and more than a lot of things, I wanted her photograph so I could admire her lovely face and make my daydreams about her feel a bit more real. The only problem was asking her for it in the first place. That would have been the easy way to get what I wanted, but I was worried that I might seem like a stalker or rabid fanboy of hers, so I didn't.

And then I came face-to-face with the cover photo of Ryoko*L, who was the spitting image of Eri. They could be twins and I would be none the wiser! When I saw how similar they were, my cowardice got the better of me and I settled for the singer. If I couldn't have Eri's photo, I figured, then Ryoko*L would be a good substitute. That was how I came to have that magazine.

But for someone whose mind was supposed to be muddled with a hangover this morning, Eri was sharper than I thought.

"You bought it because I'm Ryoko*L's doppelganger? Then…" Another sip of cocoa. "…what you really wanted… was my photograph?"

I blurted, "H-How… How did you know that?"

"Call it women's intuition, but there were a couple of things that didn't quite fit together. For example, if you're really Ryoko*L's fan, you'd know at least something about her, but you don't. And you said it yourself that you bought the magazine because she looks like me, so you weren't really interested in the contents. If you cared neither for Ryoko*L nor the rest of the magazine, then it's easy to see what you were _really_ into."

Her hand rose to her heart. "It's _me_, right?" And she gave me a kind smile.

Damn… Busted again! I wanted to protest, to deny the plain truth, but it wouldn't be any use now. She could be a good detective.

I was feeling guilty and blushing aplenty. "Eri… I… I didn't mean anything weird by it. I swear…"

However, she didn't mind one bit. "I know. Hee hee! I'm flattered, Neku. But if you really wanted my photograph, you could've just asked."

"B-But it's strange to ask for something like that out of the blue…"

She waved off my excuse. "What're you talking about now? Have you forgotten that we're the best of friends? That we make the most awesome team? I'm not going to think you're crazy just from that! Now, come here."

"Huh… Eri?"

I was led to the couch where we both sat down, side by side. The first thing I immediately noted was how close she was pressing against me. My skin almost curled away when she jammed her head right against mine, cheeks touching. It distracted me so much that I didn't at first notice the cell phone she was holding at arm's length.

"And now," she proclaimed cheekily, "a photo to commemorate our years of friendship _and_ skinship! Smile!"

_Click._ The glow of a camera flash flickered across our faces.

And history was made.

Eri invited me to look at the photo of us that she just took, and while it made my heart leap to see myself so physically close to her, I also felt very embarrassed. I hadn't been prepared for it at all, and I didn't really get to smile. My face was instead twisted into a grotesque plastic caricature of myself.

She giggled, already on her way to a mischievous comment. "Well, you look kinda goofy in this, Neku. Which isn't bad. Because it's still cute. You could learn to be a little more spontaneous in moments like these though."

"Um… I guess?"

"More importantly, I look just amazing. Ohohoho!" Wh-What's with that laugh? "As expected of someone who's photogenic with a megawatt smile and a body that's simply HAWT…! Heh!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

Apparently my lukewarm reaction wasn't one that she liked. She slapped me in the arm. "Tch! Play along! Anyway, I'll be sure to send it to your phone with heaps of my love, so take a peek soon, 'kay?"

I wanted to hug her for being so kind. But I chose to refrain myself rather than indulge. "Th-That's really nice of you, Eri. I mean it. Thanks, by the way."

"Hee hee. Anytime."

We found ourselves squinting at her cell phone screen a little longer than usual, quietly examining the photo in great detail, and eventually it was I who had to break the silence and for good reason. "Is it just me, or is it… fuzzy?"

"Gosh, I think you're right, Neku. Okay, let's do this one more time! And this time, smile a little cuter, alright? You're actually pretty good-looking if you try."

"Heh…" That helped me feel a lot better. "If you say so, Eri."

XOXOXOXOXO

The newest photo that I took with Eri became my new cell phone background. I made sure to smile better in this one, so I actually looked like a normal person. And as for her? Well, what else could I really say about her? She was as beautiful as ever.

There was an important moral to this story that I think everyone can benefit from: if you want something, something all you need to do is ask. Want a pay raise? Ask for it. Need a favour? Ask for it! If you have a girl whom you fancy and you want her photograph, ask for it… but just make sure the circumstances are right.

And by that rationale, if you want to confess to said girl, go for it!

…I actually have yet to follow that piece of advice. I still wasn't sure how to go about it. Oh well, I was sure that I could work something out eventually.

Oh, by the way, if anyone's curious about the fate of that _FGM_ magazine, I gave it to Eri. Since she loved Ryoko*L, she'd have more fun poring over her extensive interview than I would. Plus she might get some ideas for her clothing designs, as bare as they may be.

It's easy to see why _FGM_ got Ryoko*L as their cover girl for that issue. Clad in lace, straps and little else, her sex appeal was simply out of this world. She was talented, philanthropic, and if what I know could be counted on, she was also apparently very nice. No wonder she was, as _FGM_ boasted, the "ultimate dream girl".

But for me, Eri could beat her hands down any day. I could go on and on about why, but if I could sum it up in a few words, it would be this: she was perfect. Where ultimate dream girls were concerned, she was the real deal.

In another detail that refuses to be overlooked, Ryoko*L may only strip down to her undies for the occasional men's magazine photoshoot, but Eri does that all the time. Not that I'm complaining, but…

"Neku!" said Eri one day. "I just bought this hot little number from _Lacy Temptations_. They were doing 40% off all lingerie! What a steal it was! Does it look good on me? You can't go wrong with white bras, right?"

I nearly choked at the sight of her. "You're stripping again? !"


	13. Have Summer Will Date

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 13)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"So, how's the coffee?"

My tongue wasn't a fan of the bitter taste. "I… Coffee just isn't my thing, Mr H."

"Really?" Mr Hanekoma rubbed the back of his neck. "It's my newest house blend. Just came in yesterday, so I thought I'd let you have a taste. Maybe you'll learn to love it." He barked out a short laugh.

"I don't know about that…" And I put down my cup, forever untouched.

Today at WildKat there weren't many customers, so the proprietor, Mr Hanekoma or Mr H as some like to call him, had some free time to chat with me. He had a love for coffee and a good style for his age; just don't call him old, and you'll be fine.

He wiped the counter as he talked. "Say, how are things between you and your lady friend?"

"You mean Eri? Well, we're still friends."

"So you're saying you haven't popped the big question yet? You're going to need a ring for that! I heard diamonds work."

"Nice one, Mr H. But truth be told, I haven't even confessed to her."

He paused, and with a more serious tone, he said, "You haven't? I thought you two were dating."

"I wouldn't call it dating yet. We're more like just hanging out as friends."

"Mind telling me why it's still that way?"

My sheepishly-explained reason was, "I… just don't have the guts yet." Then, very quickly I added, "But I was going to get round to it soon! The problem is I don't know how without looking, um, bad."

As he stared at me with what I thought was an incredulous look, I began to feel even more self-conscious of myself. "You can't even confess to a girl by now?" was probably in his head. I was pretty much an adult already and in college to boot, and had overcome all sorts of hurdles both big and small to make it this far. But saying the three famous words to the one you loved was a task too daunting for me! The fear of rejection was a major stumbling block and I couldn't clear it out of the way.

When he next spoke, however, he had a kind tone and he didn't even make fun of me. "I'm not surprised to see you all hung up over this. Lots of men and women have this problem. I've seen more than enough of the poor souls myself."

I was so glad he understood my plight! Oh wait, that's it… Maybe he might…!

Hope rising within, I asked him, "Mr Hanekoma, do you have any tips on how to confess the right way? I sure could use some advice right now!"

With my request, he suddenly turned very serious. His rugged stubble-ridden face wore the look of a man who was thinking very hard – eyebrows squashed together in a frown, gray eyes narrowed into slits behind his sunglasses, aura of "wise old man" oozing from every pore of his person. It almost looked like he would buckle under the force of his concentration. I just knew he had something good for me. He had given me solid advice before and I was sure this time I wouldn't be disappointed either.

I couldn't be more wrong.

"Son," he said at last, "I only have one thing to say."

"Sure, lay it on me!"

"…The world ends with you."

The atmosphere grew so quiet I could hear the cicadas buzzing outside.

"Mr H? H-How's this gonna help me confess to Eri?"

"It wouldn't," he admitted, rubbing his neck harder. "I just couldn't think of anything to say."

"Wh-What?"

He gave a self-deprecating laugh and seemed embarrassed for a reason I would find out in a moment – and leave me in shock in the process. "Between you and me, Phones, I've been single all my life. I had two or three crushes in my younger days, but whenever I was brave enough to tell them how I felt about them, I got turned down."

This came to me as a surprising development. Mr H had a number of accomplishments under his belt – he was the head of a graphic design company and he ran WildKat as a side venture – so I was expecting him, with his wealth of life experiences, to come up with pointers for something as relatively simple as conveying your feelings to a girl. I was so sure having girlfriends wouldn't be impossible for him. But there went one pillar of support…

"Oh well," he chuckled, "I guess luck wasn't on my side back then."

"I… I see." I tried to hide my disappointment. "Sorry for dredging up the past. I didn't mean to."

"Hey, you never knew about it anyway. It's fine. But you're asking the wrong person, I'm afraid."

"Oh… okay, that's alright."

"I may not be able to help you here, but another one of my customers might. He may be a bit of a flirt, but he knows his stuff… well, he seems to, anyway, but he can't really be far wrong and it's way better than nothing! The two of you are acquainted too, Phones, just so you know."

I started going through all the people whom I had met but couldn't find anyone who fit his description. "So I know him, huh? Who is it?"

At that moment, a third voice joined the conversation. "Hoh… Well now, if it ain't ol' carrot-top. Small world!"

The owner of the voice joined me at the bar and Mr H greeted him. "Speak of the devil… Howdy, boss. Have you tried our new house blend? I can fix you some."

"Sure, man. I could kill for a cuppa. Heh, just kidding about the killing part, though!"

The new guy looked like the average street dude – casual, carefree and ready for fun at the drop of a hat. He wore this strange sleeveless parka with a ribcage design printed down the front as well as a pair of tinted glasses. Just now he called me a carrot-top, but it was a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black – his hair was as orange as mine. Everything about his attire reflected his laid-back attitude. Mr H was right in that I knew him from some time back, but it's a long story. Ah, perhaps I should introduce him now…

"Hey," I said, "long time no see… Kariya."

"I overheard you groaning about your love life," said Kariya, plopping onto the bar stool next to mine, "or lack thereof. But wow, this is unheard of, man. Phones getting a girl in his life? Seriously, it's about time!"

"Eh, it's not official."

"I know. Mind telling me the whole story, Phones? I got time to kill. Just keep the mushiness to a bare minimum though, y'hear?"

"…I thought you were eavesdropping earlier, Kariya. Besides, there isn't much to tell apart from 'I like a girl but I don't know how to confess to her', because that's pretty much it. All I need is the know-how and I should be good to go. …Hopefully, anyway."

"You don't sound very confident, that's for sure. Don't worry! We're buddies here, man. I'm gonna tell you what you need to know, so listen straight, okay? Heh, I'll be like an agony aunt or something."

This was where Mr H cut in briefly. "Kariya knows more about dating and relationships than I do. Give him a shot, Phones. He's not all that bad, even if he can get a little flaky at times."

"Yeah," said Kariya, "what he said! …Minus the flaky part."

"No," chipped in a fourth, female voice, "that flaky part is aptly put."

We were so absorbed in our conversation that we didn't really notice the girl standing behind Kariya. Her pink hair was recognizable, but it wasn't Eri's. It was short and belonged to a person with a too-serious mentality towards life. Our mystery guest… wasn't really a mystery guest, really. I know her as well as Kariya.

He spun round in his bar stool to face her. "Oi, nice timing, Uzuki. Phones here has a romance problem. What say we help him out? He's got a girl he likes, but is worried he'll mess up the 'I love you' part. Long story short he sucks at confessions."

I knew he said it in jest, but it still felt like a knife through my gut. "Kariya," I mumbled, "that stings."

The girl, Uzuki, appeared uninterested. "What, so it's like this? Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy lacks the spine to tell her his feelings, so boy sits in a café talking about his failures. Does that about sum it up?"

"H-Hey, that stings even more, you know! ! !"

"And now we're like, love doctors or something? Whatever. I'm bored anyway." Uzuki was infamous for her harsh tongue, but she never meant any harm. She just wasn't much of a girl, that's all.

"Great!" This got Kariya fired up. "Let's get this Confessions 101 class started!"

He was a slacker who disliked putting in effort, she was a die-hard workaholic, and they were the last two people I would turn to for love advice. I didn't mind talking to them about this, but I had my reservations about this pair of stooges…

XOXOXOXOXO

"So that's how things are with you and this Eri chick, eh?" Kariya stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Actually, you're in a pretty good position. From what we know, it looks like the two of you are very close. Heck, she's all over you. _And_ she's single! How about that! Phones, you're one lucky guy."

"Closeness is directly proportional to your probability of a successful confession," said Uzuki mathematically. "Can't you just go for it already, Neku? Your chances are good. And it's troublesome to dither around like you do."

Mr Hanekoma seconded her opinion but voiced it more gently. "I have to say I agree with Uzuki here. Given how close you two are, you wouldn't get a bad reaction from Eri. At the very least, she'll be really flattered, and that's a good start."

Kariya's rebuttal was simple but well-worded and went with a lot of vigorous head-shaking. "No, no! Don't you get it? Admitting your feelings to someone you love isn't such a simple affair. You have to make sure the atmosphere is right. You've got to get the girl in a good mood first before you make your move. For example, it's just stupid to tell a girl you love her when she's got PMS, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed, nodding. "So what now?"

"First things first, Phones: setting is important!" Slacker Guy was smirking like he was proud of himself, but I had yet to be blown away. "Just like how you need a background for a stage play, you need a time and place that'll put your girl at ease. And I know of just the thing."

"Really?" Now I was intrigued and I wanted him to spill it. "What is it?"

He looped an arm around my shoulder in a brotherly way, and behind his tinted glasses his eyes wore a look of cunning, the kind of look one might get when a delicious idea came to mind. "Not so fast. Let's see how high your LQ is…"

"…LQ? Huh?"

Uzuki answered for him. "Love Quotient. Some dumb term he coined."

"It's not dumb, girl," he defended nonchalantly. "It's a measure of your knowledge about relationships, a way of estimating how well you can score with the opposite sex."

"…It's still dumb."

Gentle laughter could be heard from Mr H. "I kind of like that. It's got a nice ring to it. Maybe I should name my next house blend after it and really rake in the customers."

Uzuki grimaced. "…'LQ Cappucino'? Not sure that really works at all. Th-That sounds more like an aphrodisiac…"

"Exactly! And that's gonna popularise WildKat to the max. Ha ha ha!"

"Guys?" I muttered. "Could we get back on track?"

"Yeah, lets." Kariya stirred his coffee with his free hand. "Okay, Phones, pop quiz. Right now it's close to the end of summer with autumn close at hand. Given your circumstances, what's the first thing that should come to mind?"

I wasn't quite sure what he was getting at and simply said, "Uh… My new semester is starting, so I gotta get ready?"

The frown that crossed his brow told me I had the wrong answer. "Incorrect! I'm going to give you one more chance, okay, amigo? So, end of summer, right? What would you think?"

"…Oh yeah!"

His smile grew wider. "Catching on, huh, Phones? Well, tell us!"

I smacked my fist into my open palm. "I almost forgot… I gotta pay the rent soon! Thanks for reminding me, Kariya."

He didn't take my second answer too well either. "No!" he huffed. "You're both wrong and hopeless, you know that? That's like an LQ of -100."

"Um… could you fill me in instead? Bit confused here."

The ever-impatient Uzuki put me out of my misery. "Kariya's talking about the Hachi Fest."

Oh… The Hachi Fest, huh? It's a festival centered around the famous Statue of Hachiko, held around the end of summer every year. The main attraction is the statue itself, and apparently if you rub it the right way – excuse the pun – you'll get good luck for the rest of the year, and who doesn't want that? So people drop by to do just that. But it's not just a big party where people come to molest a bronze dog, because that would be just sad even if it's for the lucky vibes. A lot of enterprising hawkers set up shop, selling food and offering games for the merrymakers. Shiki calls the event "a blast", and I guess in a lot of ways it is.

But I was still clueless. What had this got to do with anything? "So, um… Hachi Fest… what?"

"It's got atmosphere," said Uzuki, "is what Kariya's trying to say."

"That's my girl!" he whooped. "So glad you understand, Uzuki. But yeah, if you want atmosphere, Phones, then the Hachi Fest has plenty of it. Build up a fine mood with the festivities then find a dark quiet corner and let the fun begin! You can totally confess in style and impress her to death!"

Now that totally slipped my mind. The Hachi Fest _was_ a popular event for couples and couples-to-be. I knew how much of a fan of this event Eri was. She would be going. And if I tagged along, and used the atmosphere to tell her about the one most important thing I wanted to say… Yes, it was the perfect setup!

It was nice pondering over the best possible scenario that could come out of this.

"_I've been meaning to tell you this, Eri," I said, "but I never got the chance. I only hope I don't come across as too forthright and abrupt."_

_She waited patiently for me to suck in a deep breath, and given the tension of the situation, I wouldn't be too surprised if she was holding her breath herself._

_Years of being single had taken their toll on me. Unrequited love could spur one to greater heights and encourage one to try new things, but it still wasn't any fun. I had just about enough of that. And tonight, with a few words, I could finally be rid of all the heartache that I had to endure all my life._

_Neither did I wait nor beat about the bush. Eyes locked onto hers, I said it._

"_I love you, Eri. I want to spend my days by your side and I'm serious. Will you go out with me?"_

_The moonlight mingled with the glow of the lanterns hung around the park and made her face look even prettier. But when she smiled at my words, that was when I decided she was the true epitome of beauty._

"_Neku," she sighed happily, "of course I'd love to be your girlfriend! So… your house or mine?"_

Huh? ! Wait, what? How did it come to this –

_Eri's breath came out in pants. The very air in the bedroom was hot and sizzled like wildfire. The whole place felt alive. Crackling with sensations._

"_Oh, Neku!" She was bucking and heaving from her exertions. "Oh god, you're so good! Give me more!"_

"Neku?" came Uzuki's voice. "Hello? Are you with us?"

The scene that played out in my head was so graphic I couldn't even believe it was possible to imagine in the first place. Not a single thing was censored. Now, we guys think about this sort of thing sometimes and it's normal, but I never actually went into such detail! It was impossible to hold it in so I didn't; I mean, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to anyway. You know me.

The counter was splattered red. Mr Hanekoma had been wiping it so diligently earlier, and now it was ruined. Everyone recoiled at this spectacle of blood and ridiculousness.

Uzuki cried out in horror. "Guh! How does this happen? ! No, more to the point, why? !"

"Yeah, seriously, man." Kariya had his hands in the air. "Projectile nosebleeds? I thought this kind of thing happens only in comics."

Mr Hanekoma took one look at the bloody mess and heaved a frustrated sigh. "I know nosebleeds just happen and you can't help it, but my customers will have a fit if you do it again in front of them."

"S-Sorry…" I was no stranger to nasal malfunctions by now, but it sucked that I couldn't control them in public. "Anyway, Hachi Fest, right? Can't hurt to give it a whirl. Thanks, everyone. This is a good start."

"Next time you stop by," said Mr Hanekoma, "bring us some good news. Bring Eri along too, so we can congratulate you both proper."

"You'll be okay," laughed Kariya. "Just keep your wits about you and be cool. Oh, and be sure to keep your nose dry or your girl will freak out." Dude, seriously? That's never going to happen… She's seen more crimson fountains than the average paramedic, and she's fine with it. She even laughs about it like it's a comedy routine.

Uzuki's way of giving me encouragement was this: "Be more assertive… more proactive. If you can grow a backbone by the time Hachi Fest arrives in town, you're set. Girls don't like wishy-washy guys. I sure don't."

"Ahaha… Uzuki, girl, those are some really brutal things to say to Phones…"

Taking Eri to the Hachi Fest… That was the stepping stone that I needed. Thank goodness Kariya and Uzuki came when they did! Now I just had to make preparations for the big day and if all went well, I could hope to do more exciting things with Eri in the future, like going on more dates, or kissing, or… or even… um…

"_Faster, Neku!" shrieked Eri. "More!"_

No, not that! That would be reserved for a much, much later time! What was wrong with me? !

Mr Hanekoma wasn't too happy that I dirtied the counter again. In a grumpy tone he rarely used, he grunted, "Phones, I gave you tissues. _Use them!_"

"Sorry, Mr H!"

"N-Now that's something…" muttered Kariya, who seemed to be in a mixture of awe and incredulity. "Nosebleeds on demand?"

On the other end of the spectrum was Uzuki, who was less impressed, if at all. "I wonder if Neku will ever be alright…"

XOXOXOXOXO

The city underwent a noticeable change. Almost overnight the streets were filled with posters. Flyers were given out in every corner. All of them proclaimed one common thing: that the Hachi Fest would be held in about a week's time. So that gave me about seven days to get myself ready. The food, the fireworks, and the statue-petting ritual sounded nice, but they were all secondary to my ultimate goal…

…confessing to Eri! It's about time anyway. I was growing sick of my stagnant love life.

First things first though. I had to call her up and make sure she wasn't "booked". She and her drinking buddies were a tight little circle, so it was likely that she might have made plans with them to go wild at the Fest together… but not if I could help it! The trick now was to beat her to it.

I was feeling quite confident. Mr H, Kariya, and Uzuki were cheering me on (although it was difficult to imagine Uzuki doing that). And Eri was a pleasant girl, so I knew she wouldn't put me down if I asked her nicely.

Right then! It was time to get to business. I grabbed my phone, palms all sweating in anticipation, and was about to dial her number…

…when suddenly, it rang. I was holding it when it did and it caught me off guard, but because my hands were sweaty, it slipped out of my grip. Actually, it didn't so much just slip as zip straight up into the air, like a scene from a cartoon. The thud it made whacking the ceiling sounded painful, but gravity gave me no time to wince and I tried to catch it as it came back down. Let's just say I was glad to have been on the baseball team during my school years. My skills had gone rusty somewhat, but a ridiculous juggle and one or two near misses later, it was back in my hands. In a nutshell, I guess I was really, really nervous!

"Hello?"

"Hi Neku, got time to spare?"

It was Eri on the line… totally unexpected, yet not surprising at the same time. Somewhere deep in my psyche I just felt it had to be her. But it gave me the shivers talking to the girl I was going to invite to the Hachi Fest.

"What's up, Eri?"

"I need your help with something," she said. "Could you come over my place for a bit? It wouldn't take too long."

"But what exactly is it?"

All I got out of her was a mysterious chuckle. "Ah ah ah. Not telling. If you wanna know, you'll just have to come and find out for yourself. I think it'll be worth your time though!"

If she was like this, there was no use trying to grill her for answers. She wouldn't flap those lips. Normally it would be tiring, but since I was going to see her about the Fest anyway, I didn't mind. Her apartment was only a few minutes' walk away anyway. Plus I was curious about what she had in store for me. "Worth my time", huh? What could it be?

Hang on… Was she trying to harass me again? Was she setting me up for another one of her pranks? No, that couldn't be it. Every time she teased me, it was spontaneous and on the spot. She wouldn't go out of her way to ask me to go to her apartment just so she could make fun of me. So this had to be something else.

Better bring some tissues just in case things got out of hand… because they often did.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Neku."

"Neku who?"

"Neku… um… uh… Sakuraba."

"Wow," snorted Eri, "that has got to be the lamest knock-knock joke I've ever heard. I'm laughing here, but for an entirely different reason."

I scratched my head sheepishly. "Sorry… You'll have to forgive me for that. I'm pretty weak where jokes are concerned."

"Eh, practice makes perfect. Come on in!"

So now at her insistence I was at her humble abode. Thanks to several Saturdays spent over here teaching her how to cook, I was so familiar with its surroundings that it was like a second home to come back to. The shoe rack near the front door was still jam-packed with her many shoes, that framed tempura picture was still on the wall, and the sofa still bore the scorch mark from a little accident that occurred during our curry lesson a month back. I sure shared some good times with her.

"Speaking of practice," she said, "I've been fine-tuning my culinary skills. One of these days I'll show you how far I've come. Just you wait, Sensei!" She seemed very proud of herself and rightfully so. I saw no reason to downplay her pride, and if she had become better like she claimed, I was eager to try out her cooking. I was happy for her.

"Heh, I'll be looking forward to it. Okay now, what's this matter you need to talk to me about?"

What's with that look on her face? She became serious all of a sudden.

"Neku," she said, "I'm in quite the bind here."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you come across those moments where you're at an important crossroads in your life and you have to make a decision? That's what's happening right now for me. There are a couple of paths to choose from, but I don't know which the better one is. No matter which way I go I'll have pros and cons to deal with. I just don't know what to do."

Oh… so Eri was confused and needed someone to pour her troubles to, huh? She may be the carefree type, but she could be serious if she wanted to. It reminded me of the time way back when she confided in me about how insecure she felt over her inability to do things like cooking and sewing.

I couldn't just sit there and let her shoulder this burden all by herself. I was a man. And a man would always help a lady friend in need! She hadn't told me what her choices were, though, but I assumed that she couldn't. Maybe it was a private thing.

I spoke very carefully, "So Eri, from what I understand… it's either one or the other. Isn't there some way to merge the best from both and pick the high way?"

She shook her head. "That's impossible. If I tried that, the end result would be a total mess."

"Hmmm… so a win-win is a no-go. Then, if I were in your shoes, I might go for the option that offers more advantages."

"But they're equally good. If I pick one I'll miss out on all the good stuff the other has to offer. And that always gets me in knots!"

Eri was stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea but it was difficult to give advice without knowing what exactly it was she had problems with. But I was afraid she might get upset if I asked her. These kinds of things tend to be touchy so it was best that I didn't delve too far in. Could she be having problems with her family?

I didn't know what else I could say to her so I told her this: "You could always go with your gut."

"My gut?"

"Even if both ways are similar, you're probably leaning towards one, even if it's just a little bit. That'll probably be the one you should take. Chances are good it'll be the right one for you."

"I dunno…" She bit her lip, thinking hard. "Trust my gut feeling, huh? Okay, we'll see how things work out."

I shrugged. "The decision is yours to make at the end of the day, but if what I said helps you, that's nice."

"Oh, it'll help plenty!" she beamed. "You have no idea how long I spent agonizing over this dilemma. If I picked one I'd think about the other, and I'd change my mind and pick that, but then I'd start to think about the first one and the whole thing repeats itself in a loop. Ugh… talk about tiring! But I think my mind is set now."

"Vicious cycles… Life sure ain't easy."

"I know, right, Neku? My own indecision has been driving me up the wall the whole of today! I just couldn't decide on what I should wear for the Hachi Fest!"

What?

"E-Eri?" I stared at her blankly. "Come again?"

"I don't know which yukata (light summer robe) I should wear for the festival. The blue one has a nice floral design, but I haven't worn the white one since two years ago and I've been itching for a change. However, the white one stains easily, which is the reason I hadn't worn it for the past two years. Now that I've made up my mind, it looks like this year it's gonna be the blue one again…"

And here I thought she had called me over to talk about some serious matter. So it turned out all she wanted was a different opinion on what to wear? !

Gah, I'd been tricked…

"Um, Neku? What's with the dark face?"

"Argh… You could've just asked me about this over the phone! There's no need for me to come here."

"Yes there is, I insist! I wanted to show you how I look in each yukata so you could help me decide!" Then in a gradually softer voice, she mumbled, "Although… since I've already decided… it appears it wasn't necessary for you to show up, so… uh… heh heh…"

The clouds around my head refused to dissipate and she noticed.

"Aw, heck," she laughed, "don't frown like that! It's not all a waste of time. Tell you what. Since you're here, I might as well give you a sneak peek. I'll wear the blue one for you so you can see how awesome it is. How about it?"

"Y-You mean as in, right now?"

"Mm-hmm! It'll be like a mini fashion show, and you get a free backstage pass! Because I'm nice."

I get to see Eri in a yukata? Wow, talk about lucky! Mustn't sound too eager, though. Don't want to sound like a total creeper… The way to play here was cool, calm and steady…

So I began, "Hmmm, that's – whoa? !"

"Slow, slow, slow!" She dragged me by the wrist and off the sofa. "Why do you always take so long to think?"

"Wha…? You didn't even give me five seconds!"

"Five seconds is equal to five thousand milliseconds. That makes it a long time!"

"…You make no sense, Eri."

"Whatever, just hurry up and come inside my room already! Oh, and don't give me 'But I've never been in a girl's room before, oh my god oh my god.' It's no big deal. We're best friends here, and if you really haven't set foot in one, then it's about time you did! Look, it can't hurt to broaden your horizons, hermit guy."

"I know I'm a homebody but that was just cruel…"

"Rrgh, you talk too much."

Our cooking lessons together made me a regular visitor to her apartment, but I had thus far never gone into her bedroom. And here I was. Funny thing… I had expected it be awash in pink – pink walls, pink décor, pink everything… so pink my eyes would be screaming. I thought a giant poster of some J-Pop singer would take center stage on her wall. And there had to be a plushie of some sort staying somewhere nearby, right?

All those stereotypes disappeared when I realized how… ordinary… the room was. The walls were white. No posters to be seen, although there was this timetable; maybe it was for her classes. No plushie squatters sharing the room with her. It was just like my own room! At least it was easy on the eyes.

"Whoa, no jumbo-sized poster of The Prince?" I raised my eyebrows. "Now that's a surprise."

"Ha ha ha…! I couldn't possibly have that in my room. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything! It'll be like he's staring at me out of the wall 24/7… while I study, or sleep, or change my clothes… and with those sexy, sexy eyes no less! Ah… simply thinking about it makes me all warm and toasty."

"Um… right." Fangirls…

"Where were we? Oh, right. Yukatas. I promised I'd make your visit worthwhile."

"You don't need to go that far, you know. Besides, I haven't – "

"Sorry, Neku. Point of no return, as they say." The girl was getting fired up. "Now! Sit still and prepare to be bowled over by the simple beauty of the yukata! You wouldn't be disappointed, trust me!"

Then she promptly yanked her dress off. I could have choked to death at the suddenness of her actions.

"What're you doing? !" I spluttered. "I'm not here to watch a strip show!"

"Neku, grow a brain." She tossed her dress onto the bed. "Who wears clothes underneath a yukata?"

"That's not it. Y-You could've warned me that you were going to take off your clothes…"

The amusement was evident in her playful tone. "Why? Is Neku shy now?"

"That's not the point either! ! !"

"Well, there you go!" she retorted, slipping in a blue yukata. "You just said it yourself: that you're not shy. So if you're fine with it, what's the problem?"

Utter defeat! Not a suitable counter-argument to be made on my side. As I watched her dress from the corner of my eye – I had turned away on impulse – I thought of something. To date, Eri's appeared in various forms of undress in front of me, unintentionally or otherwise, and while it's a jarring thing especially when coupled with her teasing, it's never been more jarring than lately. My heart pounds itself to dust whenever she horses around in her underwear or says suggestive things that throw me off my seat.

Was I becoming more aware and less resistant to her flirtatious behaviour?

I had never felt like this before. Sure, before the whole thing with Shiki and her boyfriend, I had developed some degree of immunity against Eri's ways. Nowadays I just freak out more. Of course, anyone would, but…

"Neku, could you help me tie the sash? It needs to be tied up in a bow from behind, and I can't really reach it."

"Oh, uh… are you sure? I'm not sure if it'll turn out right."

"It's fine. I just need the sash to stay on for now."

Maybe I felt this way around her because she's incredibly nice and I'm weak against nice people.

"It's still too loose, Neku. The sash needs to be tighter."

Maybe it's because she has a great body and a face to match. Her beauty can make men's knees go weak. I should know.

"Is this fine, Eri?"

Maybe it's because I was envious of her devil-may-care outlook on life and wanted to learn to be less rigid.

"Yeah, juuuuust like that. Don't worry about the knot. You probably don't have experience in this, so just tie it however you see fit."

Or maybe it's nothing to fuss over at all.

All that mattered was that I loved her.

Maybe that's _really_ why I was prone to freaking out more often these days. But if that's the case… then it's not such a bad thing after all. Sure weirds me out to think in circles though.

If looking drop-dead gorgeous in a navy blue yukata was Eri's idea of keeping a promise, it was a pretty good one. There were a whole lot more words I wanted to positively describe her with, but "over 9000" would do the trick for now. After seeing street wear for much of the year, this was a refreshing change.

"So did I meet your expectations?" she asked, smirking.

I gave her the sixth once-over in three minutes. "I'm really impressed. You sure can wear anything and look good in it."

"Hee hee… It's nice to know that my awesomeness is officially acknowledged." She twirled round to show off the back. "Still… what's with the shoddy workmanship, Neku? I look like I've got a cauliflower stuck behind me."

"Sorry, Eri, I'm not well-versed in the delicate art of sash-tying. And you never did like cauliflowers."

"They taste gross."

I smiled, amused. "Didn't your parents tell you to eat all your greens?"

"I never did like rules. Anyway, I guess it's really settled. Since you say I look good in the blue one, this is what I'll be wearing next week."

Next week… Oh, right, the Hachi Fest. I wanted to talk to her about it. Now was my best chance. I probably wouldn't sink, but it _was_ time to swim!

"Eri, see, uh – "

"Neku, there's one other thing that I need to get off my chest." The way she was giggling… it was cute and slightly nervous, the kind of giggle that someone about to ask something embarrassing would make. "Er… if it's convenient for you, will you come with me to the Hachi Fest?"

Eh?

Her cheeks were starting to glow a little pink, but nevertheless she continued, "I usually make plans to hang out with Shiki or my drinking buddies, but this year I'm gunning for something different. A fresh experience, you know? So I was hoping you could accompany me. But if you're not free, it's fine – "

I hurriedly snapped, "It's not fine!"

"Uh?"

"N-No, I mean… it's not fine for me to miss a chance like this." Man, that was a close one! She could've misunderstood my words had I taken longer to explain myself. "I'm going too, so… l-let's go together? What say you?"

Eri was most delighted. "Super! It's a date, then. I'll be looking forward to it! Let's decide on when to meet up."

Damn… I wanted to be the one to ask her, but she totally beat me to it. Wasn't the guy supposed to take the initiative? Uzuki _had_ told me to be more assertive. But this was one way to get a job done, I suppose.

So now Eri and I were set to meet up at the Hachi Fest and have a rip-roaring good time. Phase One of my grand strategy didn't go as planned, but it was still a success. I was pretty sure I could handle things at the festival – that's Phase Two – but what's really important was Phase Three, the confession part. I had one week to prepare the right words to say to her. Uzuki and Kariya had given me a boost; it was up to me to follow through and emerge a winner.

Here's hoping that by the end of the Fest, Eri and I would start going out for real. I had butterflies making a nest in my stomach just thinking about how it'd turn out, but at the same time, I couldn't wait to reach the finish line.

"Neku, what're you planning to wear?"

"Casual wear should be fine, right?"

"No, it isn't!" she pouted. "The Hachi Fest is special! It happens but once a year, so if you don't go all out now, it'll be a total waste! It can't hurt to dress your best every now and then, right?"

I didn't understand. "But what should I wear?"

"A yukata, of course!" Man, was she ablaze with excitement. "Never underestimate the masculine charm of this simple garment. Guys are simply sexy in them! And it feels just right wearing it in the summer. C'mon, wear one! Please? It'll be fun!"

Seeing how hyped she was getting about our next outing together was amusing. "I think I've got an old one with me. I just need to dust it off and hope it still fits. Or I could rent one."

"So you will? Fantastic! I can't wait to see the results."

The evening rolled in faster than we thought and it was time for me to head back home. I wouldn't say this trip to her house was a waste at all, far from it in fact. I got myself a date and seeing her all dressed up was a real treat. Who didn't like killing two birds with one stone? I was feeling pretty good.

We hovered around her front door getting in some last-minute chatting before parting ways for the night.

"I'm excited for the food," giggled Eri. "Think we can get any ideas for recipes at the Fest?"

"Don't they usually sell stuff like candied apples and grilled corn cobs? I doubt we'll find any full-bodied meals there. Just snacks."

"But every year they came up with all sorts of different things. It's part of what makes the Fest so interesting. Maybe this time someone will set up an Italian pasta stall."

"Wh-Why would anyone do that?"

"Well, it might just happen. Food for thought, you know?"

"Nice pun, Eri. Alright, I gotta head back."

"Let me get the door for y– eep!"

Eri was reaching for the doorknob, but when she took a step forward, the hem of her yukata got caught in her foot – theoretically, this shouldn't happen at all, so why it did was beyond me. At the same time, her sash came loose and unraveled by itself. She lost balance too on top of that and the upshot of it all was that she fell headlong into me with her yukata peeled wide open. The entire scene happened before my eyes in great detail, like I was watching slow-mo bullets and explosions from a scene in an action film.

I just stood there totally stunned while she clung onto me for dear life in her underwear and a seriously mussed-up yukata. Th-Those wouldn't be her breasts pressing so deeply into my chest now, would they?

…They were.

It wasn't that she was half-naked right now that fazed her, though. She berated me, "Neku! You didn't tie up the sash properly! It wasn't secure enough!"

It was wise of me to bring along tissues. Too bad I couldn't pack my nostrils in time.

What happened afterwards is up to your imagination.


	14. Hachi Fest, Part 1

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 14)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

The time was 7 pm, and the Hachi Fest was in full swing.

I had been to two or three Fests, and every time, it was jam-packed with people. The food and game stalls were always busy. Laughter and chatter was everywhere. The whole thing was a boisterous affair. The ritual petting of the Statue of Hachiko was the main highlight and dozens if not hundreds flocked to touch it in hopes of acquiring year-long good luck.

This year would be more of the same, not that it's a bad thing as long as it was fun.

The Statue of Hachiko… It is a place with many memories for me. I made my first friends here. I used to hang out here a lot with them too. But perhaps the most important memory to me now was that this was where I first met Eri, way back when I was still in high school.

_This girl with blazing pink hair standing beside Shiki was someone I had never met before. But I had seen her before in a photograph. So this was the best friend who was an avid fan of trends and fashion…_

"_Allow me to introduce the two of you," said Shiki. "This is Neku. He's a friend of mine. And Neku, this is…"_

"…_Eri!" chirped the new girl, extending a hand towards me. "Nice to meetcha!"_

_The one thing that stood out during our handshake was her grip. This, I knew, was the grip of a person who could make lots of friends very easily. It was firm, which showed her sincerity, but not too firm. Just the right pressure on the palm and fingers. And that smile of hers made me feel at ease, even when this was the first time we had met in person._

"_It's a pleasure to meet you too, Eri," I said._

"_So you're called Neku, huh? Cute name!" I usually grew tired of overly-friendly people in a heartbeat, but this girl… Now _she_ felt different. That bubbly personality of hers was hard not to like, somehow._

"_You study at my school, right?"_

"_Yeppers! But I'm in the other class. I'm not with you and Shiki." Suddenly she looked like she thought of something. "Oh, idea! We're hitting up a ramen shack. Wanna come join us?" She turned to her friend. "Shiki, we can take him along, can't we? He seems interesting." Eri called me interesting? Even when this was our first meeting? I guess she's just really playful._

_Shiki laughed. "You make it sound like he's a pet dog. But sure, why not?"_

_So now they were inviting me to have ramen with them… "Are you sure?" I asked cautiously. "I'm just afraid I'll be a bother."_

"_Any friend of Shiki's," said Eri, "is a friend of mine. You're okay in my book!"_

_Shiki didn't mind either. "Come now, don't be shy! The more the merrier. You don't look like you're doing anything anyway."_

_I eventually relented. "Okay… I'll tag along."_

_Eri was ecstatic but I didn't understand why. Maybe she was just happy that she made another friend. As I would find out later from Shiki, she was the outgoing type: adventurous, unafraid to meet new people and see new things. And she sure was one box of mysteries that would unfold little by little over the years I got to know her…_

_She was all smiles and giggles. "Hee hee. I'm sure we'll get along just fine, Neku!"_

Four or five years have passed since then. If someone had told me that I would end up going crazy over Eri instead of Shiki, I would have scoffed at the very notion. And here I was… not scoffing.

For all her faults, she really was the right girl for me now. I may have wanted Shiki before, but now I needed Eri. I had to be the guy to stand by her side. The future in the horizon… I could almost see both of us there. We're more than friends, though less than lovers, but with a push or two from me, we could change that. We could finally be together.

Ah, but enough musing. Where was she?

I couldn't wait to meet her. She said she'd be coming in her blue yukata, which I liked a lot. I kind of wished I hadn't actually seen it beforehand though. Part of the fun of waiting for your date is anticipating what she would wear and how good she would look. It makes the eventual meeting much more impactful. But now the surprise was spoilt.

Oh well, I shouldn't be complaining. That she even wanted to hang out with me in the first place was plenty reason to be happy, and I was very much so.

Could she even find me though? We had agreed on the exact place – at the parking lot adjacent to the area with the statue – but the throngs were so thick the whole place was like one giant can of sardines. It would be like searching for a needle in a haystack.

"Neku! Neku, hey!"

Eri's voice! No two ways about it. And true enough Her Royal Ditziness herself came bounding over.

"Did you wait long?" she asked, slightly out of breath from running. "I'm sorry if you did."

"Nah, I just arrived. Side question though: how did you manage to find me? Must have been hard looking for one person amongst a whole bunch."

"It wasn't hard at all. Because of your hair, see? It's orange and it stands out. When you're looking for someone who's easily noticeable in a crowd, it's just a simple matter of elimination." She mischievously reached up to ruffle my mop of carrot locks.

"Th-That's one way to go about it, I suppose…"

"Hee hee. Sooo… we're finally here. Shall we get going, honey?"

"Um, I… I beg your pardon? !"

She just giggled aplenty like she always did. "I'm just pulling your chain. But hey, since it's going to be just the two of us tonight, why not? 'Honey' has a nice ring to it. There're lots of couples here, so if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

Gah…! It's just like her to go overboard with the teasing, but this was a bit…

"Look how red your face is… honey."

"C-Cut it out already, Eri…"

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry." Wh-Why was she tracing circles on my chest with her finger? ! Holy…! ! ! "But every time I see your embarrassed face it turns me on. I can't help it. Honey. Honey."

"Why did you have to say that twice? !"

"Ha ha ha!"

"Could… Could we leave these jokes for later? W-We're in public, you know."

She sniggered, "Later, huh? Okay, later it is! It's a promise."

What had I gotten myself into? Was she really going to seduce me after we were done with the Fest? ! …Maybe it might not be so bad. No, come on, Neku, focus! I was on a date now, and I wanted to confess my love for her afterwards. This was a crucial time. I needed to get this right, correct, once and for all!

"Well, Eri… the Hachi Fest wouldn't wait for us. Shall we go take a look?"

"Heck yeah! Let's do this!"

And so began what would be the beginning of a historic night in our lives. Tonight, I would definitely make known my feelings for her! I swore it! Just you wait, Eri… tonight your feet would be swept clear off the ground!

…Right?

XOXOXOXOXO

_Bang!_

"Aw, missed again," groaned Eri.

"Here," I said, "let me try."

I paid the stallholder for another go at the shooting gallery and he handed me a freshly loaded rifle. This game had different variations where rules and target layouts were concerned, but the basic concept was that you could win prizes by shooting them off the wall they were perched on. Eri was having a hard time of it – she couldn't hit one thing.

At the other end of the accuracy spectrum was me. I took careful aim, squeezed the trigger, and the cork bullet easily hit its mark.

She was impressed. "Nice! Neku, are you sure you don't snipe people's heads off as a hobby?"

"Well done!" congratulated the elderly stallholder. "Here's your reward, kid. You've earned it!" He handed me the spoils of my efforts in the form of a small teddy bear wearing a purple shirt.

And so we were on our merry way to another stall. But before that…

"Here, Eri. F-For you." I pressed the teddy into her hands. Gifts _were_ one way to impress your date…

"Huh? But you won it…"

"Yeah, but I thought you might like it more."

She giggled. "Thanks, Neku. I'll name it after you in honour of your sharpshooting skills."

"So I'm a teddy bear now?"

"What's wrong? Teddies are cute and lovable. I'd say you and them have a lot in common."

"Oh… um, ahaha…" She just implied that I was cute, didn't she? I knew I was burning up.

She let loose a long sigh of satisfaction. "Man, I love it here. The atmosphere, the people, the vibes… Everything about the Hachi Fest is so nostalgic. Brings back memories of when we were still in school."

Having been her classmate, I knew what she was getting at. "We'd troop on over here as a group and go bananas having fun. We'd gorge ourselves silly on takoyaki and kebabs…"

"…then we'd pet the statue hoping to get good luck for all sorts of things like romance and top grades. And because the Fest always ends with fireworks, we'd all find a spot to sit and watch them."

"Good times," I said with a grin. "Those were some good times."

The conversation just kept rolling off of our tongues. It felt wonderful to be able to talk so freely like this.

"We sure had fun. Hey, Neku, remember how Beat would always say some weird good-luck prayer just before touching the statue? Maybe he thinks it'll amplify his luck or something, but it's hilarious watching him mumble all sorts of gibberish."

"I bet he thought it up himself too. What a blockhead."

"Heh, the looks on everyone's faces as he went about his business… oh, I can't forget that! Oh yeah, what about that time when Shiki's sash came off by itself? Chances are the memory's still stuck in your head!"

I shuddered and grew red. "Heck if it didn't! It stands out like a sheet of flame! If it weren't for Rhyme's quick reflexes, Shiki would have ended up half-naked in front of everyone."

"More than a bit humiliating for Shiki, yes, but still entertaining."

"Y-You're laughing at other people's mishaps?"

"How could I not laugh at this? Your nose was spraying blood all over the place like a sprinkler from just catching a glimpse of her bare shoulder! It was murderously hilarious!"

Before I could defend myself, she continued, "Heh… You and nosebleeds… You sure have a long history with them. Nice to know some things never change. But that wasn't all there was about you, of course. There were some genuinely awesome moments about you back then."

"What'd you mean?"

"One time, Shiki's sandal strap broke and she couldn't walk about, so you fixed it for her on the spot. That's a pretty manly thing to do."

"I… guess I did, huh…"

"And you were amazing at games that test your accuracy. There was rarely a time when you missed with the shooting gallery and hoop toss. I bet your being a pitcher on the baseball team at school had plenty to do with it. Why else would you be dubbed 'The Sniper'?"

"…I was called that?"

She puffed up one cheek, exasperated. "Don't you ever pay attention to what goes on around you? But yeah… you'd offer to win prizes for us girls, and because you were such a crack shot, we never went home empty-handed."

So much time had passed since we went out as a gang that the memories of past Fests were growing a little hazy, but I distinctly remember snagging plushies for the girls and using that as a guise to pass gifts to Shiki. Come to think of it, that was a pretty shady way to do things…

Hmm? Now I was curious about something.

"Eri, so… uh, all those prizes I won for you back then… Are you still keeping them?"

"Nah, I tossed 'em. They were probably made from cheap low-quality materials, so they'd disintegrate into pieces within two or three months." Oh, really…? Still, the way she mentioned about throwing away my hard work was so blunt! ! !

I gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Then I guess it'll be the same story with your teddy bear."

"No, not this one," she chuckled warmly. "I'll keep it with me. Even if it breaks apart or gets torn, I'll find some way to fix it up, like Humpty Dumpty, y'know?"

"Um… I thought Humpty Dumpty couldn't be put together again…"

"Ahem… w-well, you know what I mean! But really, I'll treasure this teddy bear well past its expiry date because you went out of your way to get it for me. It's really sweet of you."

_Oh. My. God._ Eri was so cute! ! ! She really was a super-nice girl! And the best part was, this was how she always was. It wasn't faked and I knew this for a fact because I had been her friend for so long. Ah… so this was what it felt like to be alive…

There was a good mood going between us now. I definitely had to confess to her tonight. No way in hell was I going to miss this chance! I wanted to tell her now and I was quickly getting jumpy, but no, I had to be patient. Had to wait for the right time.

Eri nudged my arm. "Neku, I'm feeling a bit peckish. Let's grab some takoyaki (fried octopus dumplings); I'm positive that would hit the spot. How about it?"

"Sure, anything for you, honey."

She shot me a weird look. "Huh? ? ?"

"I… I mean, sure, we can grab some bubble tea while we're at it!"

"I could've sworn I heard less syllables than that, but… whatever." Crud… Me and my mouth. That was a real close one!

XOXOXOXOXO

One hour in and not a single hiccup. Eri and I were having a blast of a time and my expectations were well exceeded. Life was good!

"All the food we've tried tonight is just heavenly," she gushed, tucking into the last few bites of her crepe. "Especially the takoyaki. It's my favourite. I always wind up buying myself a carton of the stuff every time I see it."

"So… tempura and takoyaki, huh?" I paused to chomp on my own crepe. "You sure like 'em."

"Tempura's like a new love to me. But takoyaki is my main squeeze. Always has been. It was love at first taste when I tried it for the first time at age six."

"Ahaha… It's kind of weird talking about food like they're boyfriends or something."

A minute more of talking and Eri had to answer the call of nature. "I wouldn't be long, Neku. Wait for me here? Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back."

The washroom was a little ways from the park benches where we were but the crowds were still uniformly thick. I wondered if I should at least follow her to the washroom and wait for her outside so I wouldn't lose sight of her. But it's probably weird to do that, so I opted to wait at the benches like she told me to.

I sat there wondering what should be next on my agenda. For now, going around sampling foodstuffs should do. I intended to confess to her during the fireworks display when things had become suitably romantic – fireworks always had an effect on people, couples and couples-to-be specifically. Just the mere thought was giving me the giggles. The ability to imagine is a real blessing…

"Oi, Neku!"

Shaken out of my daydream I turned to address the owner of the voice. "Huh? Oh, it's you guys… Uzuki, Kariya."

They came over to greet me, looking a bit silly with all the bags of packaged food dangling from their arms. And were they snacking on syrup-flavoured shaved ice? "Enjoying yourself, Phones?" asked Kariya.

"Very much, yes."

"I can see that," noted Uzuki, her characteristic sarcasm intact. "That silly grin of yours says it all."

"Are you two here to enjoy yourselves too?"

"No. We're currently busy overseeing a mission for the Reapers' Game."

I eyed the stuff they were carrying pointedly and rebutted her, "…You call this busy?"

"I got hungry! It… It happens. Look, it was Kariya's idea to hold today's mission here. I would have chosen someplace less hectic, and definitely not during a public event like this Fest. It's not my style to incorporate fun into work."

He laughed at her. "And who's the one had the most fun? Who spent up to 1400 yen playing the balloon fishing game? All for a candied apple. You must really be a sucker for those things – ow ow ow!" The guy just got his ear pinched…

The veins were bulging from her forehead. "The next time you say things like that, I'm docking your pay."

"Y-Yes, Ms Conductor." So that meant she really was enjoying herself? !

She released his poor swollen ear and turned to me. "Neku, how are you faring, by the way?"

"I-I'm fine. My ear doesn't need to be mangled right now."

"Idiot! I'm talking about you and Eri!"

Kariya was very much interested in my situation. "Oh yeah, any progress so far, Romeo? Judging from the look of things, I'd say you're in a good way."

"Yeah, it's looking great," I replied, "but the confession comes later. Not now… We're kind of busy having fun."

Uzuki ran her fingers through her hair. She always did that whenever she wasn't convinced about something. "You _are_ going to do it, right? After you've come this far, I certainly hope you're not getting cold feet!"

"D-Do I look that unreliable?" Then I quickly added, "That's a rhetorical question, by the way. And for the record, I really am going to do this. It's gonna happen. For real. Like, 100%. So count on it."

"Good for you. One thing though: why aren't you with Eri?"

"Yeah," said Kariya, "in a crowded place like this, you've got to stick close to her. That's your responsibility as her soon-to-be boyfriend."

"But she's gone to the washroom, and it'd look strange if I waited for her outside – "

A scream pierced the air. "KYAAAAH!" Oh no, what's going on? That was Eri's voice!

My Reaper buddies seemed to recognize it and Uzuki was the first to react. "Gah! I knew nothing good would come out of splitting up for even a minute. This is why you've got to stay by her side! She's probably being harassed by some guy!" What? ! I hadn't even thought of the possibility. Some low-life mouth-breather might be feeling up Eri, and it'd be my fault!

I didn't even take a second more. Like lightning I dashed away to find her. Uzuki and Kariya were equally concerned about her welfare and joined me too, weaving through the crowd.

Stupid… I was so stupid! How could I let her out of my sight for even a short while? She was one of the prettiest girls in Shibuya and I was sure no hoodlum would pass up the chance to try his luck and pick her up. It's not gentlemanly to subject her to such embarrassment. If anything happened to her…

"There she is!" cried Uzuki, pointing ahead. "I see her!"

We found Eri standing by herself, surrounded by… nobody. Or to be exact, there were people all around her, but nobody was giving her a bad time. She wasn't being disturbed at all, so why did she scream just now?

I'd find out soon enough. She screamed again, except…

"KYAAAAH! Oh my god, these kebabs are _soooooo _delicious! ! !"

Uzuki, Kariya and I stumbled like idiots in a comedy routine.

_What._

The food she was snacking on tasted was so good that she simply had to scream? !

Uzuki groaned, "D-Did we just panic for nothing?"

A relieved Kariya saw the funny side of the entire situation and slowly got to laughing. "And here I thought we were saving a damsel in distress. Either way, it looks like your girl's safe, Phones. Can't be bad."

"Eri," I called. "Hey, Eri, wh-what happened exactly?"

The girl was all chipper and munching on a variety of kebabs like nothing was wrong. "Oh! Sorry, I was supposed to go back to you after the washroom thing, but when I saw these little babies on the way over, begging to be eaten, I just couldn't hold back and bought some! They're great, by the way. Here, try one. Let the flavours embrace you!"

"Oh, uh… thanks."

"If they're really that good," commented Kariya, "maybe we should give it a go. What do you say, Uzuki? Still got space to spare in your stomach?"

"We don't have time for this. Let's get back to work."

"So you say, while you're drooling away."

"Wh-What?" She hastily covered up her mouth. "That's not funny!"

Their little squabble – well, it was one to Uzuki anyway; Kariya was just laughing his head off – did not go unnoticed. Eri saw them and asked openly, "Friends of yours, Neku?"

"Uh… yeah. D-Don't mind them much, though. It's in their nature to be a little loud."

Kariya was in the middle of being strangled by an irritated Uzuki when he called out to us. "Whoa now, Phones, I don't know about you, but I say we should all be properly acquainted here. Wouldn't you agree?"

Eri was shifting her glance from me to them and back again, obviously confused. I guess now was as good a time as ever to get the introductions underway…

"Guys, this is my friend Eri. Eri, this is…"

Uzuki, who had by now given up on strangling, picked up where I left off, very prim and proper she did it, though a bit curt. "The name's Uzuki Yashiro. Pleasure's mine."

Her partner, however, had other ideas. Faced with a member of the opposite sex, and a cute one at that, he just couldn't resist a good flirt. That's just how he is. He turned on that artificial charm of his, tried to sound cool and suave.

"I'm Koki Kariya," he chuckled. "Omelette du fromage, mademoiselle! …That means 'nice to meet you' in French, by the way."

"Really now. Last I heard, it means 'cheese omelette'."

"You just _had_ to kill my buzz, Uzuki… Where's the love?"

It didn't stop Eri from laughing though. "It's a pleasure to meet you guys. Cheese omelette to you too!"

Her little spot of humour helped a defeated Kariya to recover, and in a flash he was back in lady-killer mode again. "Aha! Aren't you a cute one with a funny bone to boot! What say we – ow ow ow!"

"Ahaha… please forgive him," said Uzuki, trying to laugh his idiocy off. "He gets like this sometimes. Most of the time. …All the time. _Anyway_, we have stuff that needs doing, so we wouldn't get in your way anymore, Neku, Eri… Please carry on and have fun. Later!"

"Y-Yeah," I gulped. "See you later, fellas."

Uzuki could be heard chiding Kariya rather harshly as she dragged him away by the ear.

Eri was clearly amused. "You certainly have some interesting friends, Neku."

"Maybe a bit too interesting." I found some relief in that even though Kariya might flirt around, it was Uzuki who kept him in check to prevent him from going too far. Nice to know that Eri wouldn't be snatched away by him anytime soon. Of course, I trusted him in the first place. He wouldn't do such a thing.

"That guy… Kariya, right? He called you Phones…"

I shuddered. "It's not a nickname that I particularly like. I'd rather not be called that, but he's a stubborn one. And to make matters a little more aggravating, he's not the only one who calls me that."

"Beat calls you that too, I remember," she giggled. "Anyway, what's wrong with 'Phones'? It's cute!"

"Oh god, not you too? P-Please don't call me that!"

"It really ticks you off, huh?"

"N-Not so much that it makes me mad, but I've got a proper name, so I'd be happier if I was called that."

This made her stop and think for a few seconds before smiling broadly. "If you wouldn't be called Phones, then that's what I'll call this little fella." She held up her teddy bear.

I was a little confused. "You're naming your teddy… Phones?"

"I did say I'd be naming him after you." She looked at it and spoke to it as though it were a living thing. "What do you think, little guy?"

Following a short three-second pause – like she was waiting for its silent reply – she said, "…Phones says he digs it. Well! If no one has any objections, then it's settled!" And she hugged it to her face affectionately, relishing its soft furry texture. If that wasn't adorable enough I didn't know what was… sure made me wish I was it.

Fun fact: that would also make Eri the second girl I had fallen in love with who had a soft toy companion. Shiki had her stuffed pig (she furiously claimed it was a cat) and she even called it Mr Mew. Now, there was Eri and… Phones. It looked like these two would be getting along pretty well from now on.

Suddenly, I didn't mind the nickname so much.


	15. Hachi Fest, Part 2

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 15)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

One excruciatingly thorough good-luck rubbing of the Statue of Hachiko later, Eri and I were back to enjoying the sights and sounds of the festival. She had said that this year the right spot to touch on the statue was the left paw, so this was where we stroked it. For a silly myth, I had to admit I was feeling far luckier than before. Perhaps something good might actually happen tonight.

"Half an hour more till the fireworks begin," she chirped. "Let's go find a good spot to relax and enjoy them."

"The place near the big tree should do nicely."

That place was perfect. Pedestrians were both everywhere and unavoidable, but with fewer people at that spot it wouldn't be so embarrassing to confess my love to her.

When we arrived there, I immediately noticed how everyone who had already gathered must have had the same idea as me, because no one but couples was present. Teenagers taking that awkward first step into romance. College lovers getting close and cozy. Even the elderly were enjoying themselves, reminiscing about their first dates and the years that had gone by. Seriously, the love in the air was close to saturation point. Maybe this was a good thing for me?

We were fortunate enough to find an empty bench and talked to kill time.

"So, Eri," I began, "what're your thoughts on this year's Hachi Fest?"

"It's a lot of fun, of course." The way she tucked her hair behind her ear was very becoming. "The food and games and everything in general are all good. …But I'm sad that our little gang can't get together as often as we usually did in the past. We used to do everything together. Now, though…"

"I know what you mean, Eri, but it's not like we can do anything about it. Everyone's already headed off in different directions."

"Shiki and her boyfriend get busy a lot, or so they say. And Beat and Rhyme aren't even in Shibuya anymore. They're attending college all the way in Nagoya."

"When it comes down to it, the gang's been reduced to pretty much just the two of us."

"That's why I'm glad you're still here with me." Her hand found its way on my arm and it sent delicious shivers down my spine. "Life would be a total drag without you. Sure, I can enjoy the nightlife with my drinking buddies, or a round of gossip with my girlfriends at college, but it's all superficial stuff. What I really want is a true friend. Someone I can trust. Someone whom I can come home to when I'm feeling sad or bored or stuff. Someone I don't need to have second thoughts playing around with for fun. Someone I can have heart-to-heart talks with because I know he'll listen and not doze off…"

Her smile was small but I could sense her warmth and sincerity. "…You know, the kind of friend you've always been to me. So I gotta say I'm really lucky to have met you, Neku."

Did she just say all that? Whoa, I was getting this dangerous blush right now…

Steam was pouring from the top of my head. "If you put it like that, Eri, I don't know whether to thank you or say 'you're welcome'."

"Hee hee."

If I thought the mood was already good to begin with, now it was even better. But what a quandary I had found myself in. Should I confess now and watch the fireworks later with her as a loving couple, or wait till they start and let the atmosphere work its magic and make her swoon over me faster? Wow… Both were perfectly viable choices, but it was so hard to decide!

"Gosh, Neku, look at all those people."

"Wh-What about it?"

"Everyone's so lovey-dovey," she giggled. "I can see some public displays of affection going real strong here. I sure am jealous!"

I cringed watching this one couple kissing passionately. They were under the shade of a big tree and it was plainly obvious that they chose that spot to appear less conspicuous.

"I wouldn't say I share the same feelings of envy as you do, Eri," I gulped. "I get that the Hachi Fest can be pretty romantic, but kissing isn't the kind of thing to do in public. We're here to bring our families, not make them…"

"A little cuddling here and there don't hurt anyone… right, Neku?"

"Eri? ! Um, hey? !"

She sidled up real close and ran her fingers lightly over my cheek, freezing me in place. "So, Mr Sakuraba," she whispered in a very fluid voice, "after this festival is over, shall we partake in some… enjoyably sinful activities? I've got a reservation at a nearby hotel for the two of us if it interests you…"

"What the heck, Eri… This isn't cuddling at all! ! !"

"Don't be shy, Mr Sakuraba," she continued with a sexy drawl. "If you keep on being that way I may just have to – "

"Ah… ACHOO!"

A startled Eri instinctively jerked away from me. I was glad that I sneezed when I did. Her act was getting really embarrassing and people were beginning to stare.

"Uh, bless you, Neku. Wh-Where was I? Oh yeah, um… heck, it's no fun being interrupted. Now I forgot what I wanted to say!"

"L-Let's keep it that way."

"Don't be such a party pooper… C'mon!" She clung onto my arm. "Watching you get all hot and bothered is – "

"ACHOO! …ACHOO!"

Eri grimaced. "…These sneezing bouts of yours aren't some kind of self-defense system you just discovered, are they?"

"What? Um, no. I'm not sick either. It just happened. What's the deal with a simple sneeze anyway? You're making it sound like a big deal."

Something was on her mind and she did not answer right away. Instead, after an eternity of five long seconds, she moved closer, and I sneezed for seemingly no reason. She backed away a bit, waited another five seconds, then moved in again, after which another sneeze rattled my body. Did I really catch a cold? But I was more curious about her strange behaviour. What was she up to?

The third time she did it – and I sneezed too – I couldn't take it anymore. "Eri, what in the world are you doing? !"

"Just as I suspected…"

"What? Suspect what?"

"Every time I get physically close to you, you sneeze. It must be because of my new perfume. Maybe you're allergic to it."

This was the first I had heard of it. "Y-You're wearing perfume?"

When she frowned at me, I realized what my mistake was and she made doubly sure I knew. "I get myself dolled up for tonight," she huffed, "and now you're telling me you didn't know I was wearing perfume? What kind of excuse is that? You wound my pride as a girl."

"S-Sorry."

"Well, whatever. There's no getting around it now. If this keeps up, you'll be sneezing all night. That can't be good for you. Neku, come with me." She stood up and pulled me by the wrist, forcing me to join her.

"Wh-Where to? Where are we going?"

"Don't ask so many questions! We don't have much time before the fireworks start, so let's hurry and buy a towel…" There was a vendor nearby selling towels and umbrellas, but why would Eri need a towel to watch fireworks? To shield herself from sparkles?

Our next stop after the aforementioned vendor was the ladies' washroom. It's easy to understand that she would want to empty her bladder before the big show, but when she told me to stand guard right outside the entrance…

"Stay right there, okay?" she called through the door. "Don't budge an inch! And don't let anyone in as well!"

"B-But why? I don't get it."

"I already told you not to ask so many questions! Look, there's something I need to do and I'll be real quick, okay? It wouldn't take three minutes. Three minutes isn't a long time at all. So just help cover for me until I'm done. Remember: you can't let anyone in!"

"And what do I do if someone comes along and wants to use the washroom?"

"Just say… uh… Tch! I'll get this done in a jiffy! Don't worry!"

"What? !" That was far from reassuring! ! !

One of my pet peeves was being kept in the dark. I remembered thinking, _If only I have an idea of what's happening!_ What was Eri up to? I looked at the teddy bear she asked me to hold onto, and thought how convenient it'd be if it could answer me. Well, Phones, might you know what your new master is thinking? …Probably not.

But the strangest was yet to come.

"Neku!" she called. "Here, hold onto this! Hurry!" The door squeaked ajar and her hand poked out, clutching a roughly folded-up wad of cloth. I eyed it suspiciously. What was it? At her insistence – "What're you waiting for? !" – I grudgingly took the darned thing from her. Just what exactly was this supposed to be…

Huh? Hold the phone. This thing sticking out in the corner… Something about it felt familiar. Purely out of curiosity I pulled at it and it revealed itself to be a sash. Wait, a… sash? Don't tell me she… Don't tell me this thing I was holding was…

The door opened again, and through the narrow gap she tossed me something else.

"You might want to hide these," she said. And then the door clicked closed.

Eri just handed me a bra and panties.

Oh my god.

Or, to be exact…

OH MY GOD! ! !

I hurried to stuff the underwear between the folds of the bundle. "Eri!" I squawked. "What's the meaning of this? ! This underwear is yours, isn't it? ! And this is your yukata that you gave me too, right? ! Are you telling me you just stripped in there? ! And that now you're naked? ! Why? !"

"I can't answer so many questions at a time!" she snapped. "Cool your head a bit, will you? If you can at least make your queries in a logical sequence – "

"At least answer this for me, then: what are you doing? !" My nose was leaking crimson profusely and all the tissues I brought along for emergencies turned out to be useless because both of my hands were full. All I could do was turn my head to one side to avoid dripping blood onto her clothes.

"I'm taking a shower."

"A shower? !"

"Sorry for making you hold onto my stuff for me, Neku. If there was a clothes hook somewhere, you wouldn't have to do this."

"C-Couldn't you just leave them on the sink?"

"No way! The surface is grimy and gross and crawling with germs! I am so not getting the icky little things on my clothes! Plus, it's gonna be wet anyway since I'm using it to shower."

"Huh? !" This was getting more and more bizarre with every new detail that came in.

"Can you not be so loud? ! I'm just wetting my towel and giving myself a good damp wipe all over. …Oh, I guess you can't really call that a shower. But, geez! What do you think I'd do, sit in the sink and have a soak? !" Now that she said it, I thought I could hear the sounds of trickling water. So she really was washing herself up! By now a sizable pool of blood had formed at my feet. Never in my life had water sounded more suggestive than this!

"Eri… this whole thing just crossed a line somewhere…"

"Oh, by the way, I can't really lock the entrance. This door is one of those swinging types that you just need to push to open."

Crud! She's right! That meant anyone who wanted to enter could do so… and the first thing they'd see upon entering was Eri in the buff! Whoever saw her would probably scream and so might Eri. Then the screams would attract even more people to check and see what was wrong. And then… oh god no! I didn't even want to think about the consequences!

So that was why she stationed me outside the door… Eri was counting on me, so I had to hold out until she was done. I wanted to know why it had come to this in the first place, but right now, there were more pressing matters to attend to. Hopefully she wouldn't be long. Hopefully no one would come round here. Hopefully… Heck, there were too many things to hope for! Just… if I could just survive the next few minutes…

"Um, excuse me," said the woman in front of me, "could I get inside? I need to use the washroom."

Noooo!

This woman wanted in! But with Eri still inside cleaning herself, I couldn't let her. I had to say something, but what? It was already weird enough that I was standing here barring the way; I only wished that it wouldn't affect the credibility of whatever excuse I was going to pluck from the air.

"Uh, sorry, ma'am," I said, trying not to stutter, "but right now, you can't go in."

"Why not?"

I probably wouldn't convince her, but… "The toilets inside are malfunctioning because of an earlier freak accident. The truth is, I'm helping out with the festival, but we're short on janitors so they stationed me here to prevent anyone from going in until they can do something about it. They're getting round to it as we speak. If you could use another washroom…?" Now to see if that worked…

By the slight frown on her face, I could tell it didn't, not that I was surprised. "Eh, that's fine," she said. "I'm just going in to wash my hands."

Tough challenges were good to have in life, but not this one! "No, you still can't go in. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm afraid you'll have to – "

"Ugh, don't be like that." The woman was impatient and easily shoved past me. "Move aside! My hands are sticky from eating ice-cream and I'll be darned if I'm going to spend the whole night like this!"

"W-Wait!"

She swung the door open and slunk inside. Gah! I couldn't stop her… She actually…! Sorry, Eri… I failed you. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the inevitable screams to pierce through my eardrums. Waited for my wonderful night to crumble like dust.

Seconds passed but there was nothing.

Huh?

What happened in there? Did the woman who went inside pass out before even screaming? Maybe _both_ of them passed out? I was very concerned with what became of Eri and the woman, and it would be a simple matter to take a peek, but I was hesitant for obvious reasons.

Then to my great horror, thanks – or no thanks – to a brutally overactive imagination, I suddenly thought of a possible but very real scenario. Supposing both of them were now out cold… whoever barged into the washroom next would find an alarming sight before their eyes. They might call the police… and I might get caught up in it since I was seen guarding the door.

And what if I was made out to be the one responsible for everything? They'd put me in cuffs, bring me to the interrogation room at the police station, and…

"_So, Sakuraba, here's what we gather so far: you brought the victim, Eri, to the washroom, rendered her unconscious, then proceeded to strip her naked…"_

"_What? !" I spluttered. "No! That's all wrong! I didn't – "_

"…_and in the midst of your heinous act, you were discovered by the unfortunate lady who merely wanted to use the washroom. So you knocked her out too, to keep her silent! Am I right? !"_

"_Th-That's crazy talk!"_

_The interrogator shook his head and his face was grim and stern. "The society is rotting because of youths like yourself! I could go on some more about how low you are, but I'll leave that to the judge tomorrow. Officer, take him to his cell. Oh, and Sakuraba? Don't even try praying for clemency. This is pretty much an open-and-shut case, so you'd do well to just face the music like a good little lad."_

"_Wait!" I cried, as the policeman behind me led me away. "Hear me out, will you? ! I'm innocent! I didn't do a single thing! Wait! ! !"_

Yikes! It may be just a supposition, but if it really happened, my life would be over!

No, I had to do it. I had to take a look inside the washroom so I could properly assess my and Eri's little monster of a situation. Never mind if I caught her naked. Never mind the ensuing nosebleeds. I didn't want to end up on the headlines as a "molester in jail"!

I threw caution to the wind and the door wide open, and looked headlong beyond it.

The sinks were in a row on the left, the cubicles on the right. Neither Eri nor the impatient woman could be seen.

Now I was even more hopelessly puzzled than before. Where did they go? But before my brain could hurt from all the thinking and twisted hypotheses, my cell phone rang. The caller was Eri.

"Neku," she whispered, "it's me."

Maybe now I could finally get some answers. "Yeah, I know. What the heck happened? Where are you?"

"I'm in one of the toilet cubicles. I had to hide when I knew you couldn't keep that woman at bay."

I was seething. "Of course I couldn't! So are you actually done with that 'shower' of yours?"

"Yeah, I'm all good now." What a relief! So… onto the next step of our agenda: escape. "Neku, I'm… uh, going to need my clothes back."

"Okay, the coast seems clear. Come to the door and I'll pass them to you."

Life wouldn't be easy if things went smoothly, would they? Life wouldn't be exciting without the scent of danger. People always claimed that going out of your way to experience life at its fullest would entail a whole bunch of risks, but that it was also all worth it. I got all of that alright, but I could do without any more of the risky stuff right now. Unfortunately, the gods didn't agree.

"Uh, about that," she muttered, "the person who came in here a few seconds ago is taking a dump. There may be no one else in the washroom, but if I come out now to collect my things from you, and she happens to finish up with her business at the same time and leave, she'll totally see me butt-naked!"

Ngh… I knew something like this would crop up! So the impatient woman completely ignored my "warnings" and used the toilets anyway… I kind of expected this to happen. Well, there was no getting around it now. "Then we should wait for her to finish and leave."

"But Neku, there's no telling how long she'll take in there! Maybe she's got a really bad tummy ache or maybe she's the type who takes hours! The fireworks start soon too and I don't want to miss it, so I don't want to stay here anymore than you do. Besides, with how you're managing things out front, I think more people will come in. It'd become even harder for me to get out!"

I groaned inwardly. That sure was a busload of valid reasons to not wait it out. Still, that last thing she said annoyed me quite a bit. "Well, excuuuuse me, princess. But I'm a graphics design student, not a bouncer. And you kind of brought this upon yourself."

"Tch. Sh-Shut up!" Hit a nerve, did I? "Look, being seen in the nude in public is a risk no one in her right mind would take, okay? I have to stay in this cubicle. But if you were to come in and pass my things back to me – "

"What? !" Eri could say some really freaky things without batting an eyelid, but did _that_ just come out of her mouth? ! "You want _me_, a guy, to sneak into the ladies' washroom? Do you want me to get caught by the police? !"

"Of course not! But at least you've got clothes on! All I got is a towel and it's too small to wrap around myself. Even if someone sees you, you wouldn't appear indecent."

"W-Well, yeah, but…"

She hastily added, "I'm not trying to get you arrested, really! My plan is for you to come in, give me my things and then get out in double-quick time. You'll need to be fast, though, so I hope your ninja skills are up to par."

"Ninja… what? Ugh, let me think…"

"Don't think!" she hissed. "There's no time! It's the only way that'll work! Hurry, Neku!"

Much as I hated to admit, Eri was right. It really was the only way that would work. I _could_ get Uzuki to help us, but it would be too much of a hassle searching for her in the thick crowds. And if I did find her, there would be lots of awkward explaining to do afterwards. Maybe she's not even here; maybe she's already gone home.

Mnngh… I didn't like this! But I had no choice.

"F-Fine," I gulped, "I'll do it. But you'll owe me… big-time."

"Alright. Good luck!" And with that, our bizarre phone conversation came to an end, and it was up to me to save Eri. Thing is, I didn't really feel like a knight in shining armour…

The coast was clear from the outside; it looked like no one would be coming around. A glance around the washroom from the door revealed no one else either. I also caught a glimpse of one of the cubicle doors opening and through the gap emerged what I deduced was Eri's hand, beckoning me over urgently. To think she was completely naked in there… No! Now's not the time for nosebleeds and lecherous fantasies!

I made the great step inside the ladies' washroom… made a beeline for her cubicle where she was waiting. My hands were all clammy and shaking and I almost dropped her clothes on the floor. I just needed to hand them over to Eri and in two seconds I would be out of there, free. Yes, come on, Neku. You can do it. You just need to –

Suddenly the noise of a door being opened elsewhere in the washroom made my heart jump.

The cubicle of the impatient woman was opening! Oh nooooo!

Time slowed down to a crawl… I saw that door squeaking open in slow-motion… Everything was all a blur… And my feet were rooted to the spot. Everything appeared wrong, like I was looking at the negatives of a roll of film. There was no time to make it back to the entrance!

I was done for! I was a dead man! ! !

I steeled myself for death's embrace, but fate lent me a kind hand in the nick of time.

Or, more specifically, Eri's hand. Which grabbed my wrist and yanked me inside her cubicle. Then the door shut behind me, leaving me safe.

Wait, what? I ended up in the same cubicle as Eri? !

And she was wearing nothing. Nothing! Unless you counted her towel and the slippers on her feet, which wasn't a lot at all. And her towel really was too small to wrap around herself. She did not so much wear it as hold it up in front of and close to herself – kind of like an apron without the straps – so the back and sides of her body were completely exposed. While it was enough to cover her up from the front, it was still small enough to show everything else.

My dream girl was right in front of me and she was 90% naked! My knees went weak very quickly, my heart was having a hard time of it, and the worst part was my nose was about to erupt and I still had no free hands!

And what did Eri, with her modesty flung out the window, have to say in light of our current situation?

She gave a giggle, weak and nervous, in an attempt to ease the tension. "Um, hi?"

That was enough to trigger a violent nasal reaction in me. It would be bad to see her all covered in blood when she had just finished wiping herself clean so I promptly turned away to direct my nosebleed away from her. There was more of the reddish death this time and it coated the wall like paint. Even Eri recoiled in shock.

"Neku," she whispered, "s-stay quiet for now."

The impatient woman was still somewhere outside our cubicle washing her hands. I tried my best not to look at Eri so much, but who could blame me for finding it difficult? Her presence… she was like a magnet… pulling my eyes towards her every so often… forcing me to look. A little cleavage here, the glimpse of a hip there… Damn, she really was hot!

Wasn't this like that time at the boutique when she dragged me into the dressing room with her? No wonder this vibe I was getting felt so familiar! Her face was flushed bright red, but I got the feeling that it was from the fear of being discovered, not from the embarrassment of appearing au naturel in front of a boy. I expected no less from her, but it was still a bit…

We heard the entrance swinging open and what sounded like a whole gaggle of teenage girls came in. Our path to freedom just got a whole lot rockier…

I shuddered when Eri shifted a little closer to me. My fevered mind made it seem like she was subtly coming onto me, but she just wanted to talk. We kept our voices hushed the entire time.

"Neku," she said very quietly, "I, uh… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

Things were so tense I no longer had the heart to get annoyed with her. "Let's just get out of here as soon as we can. But tell me something, Eri. Why did you want to clean yourself up or whatever? If you really wanted a shower, you could've waited till you got home."

My sharp eye saw her frame fidget a little. "…I wanted to wash the perfume off my body."

I didn't understand. "But why?"

"It makes you sneeze when you smell it. I feel guilty seeing you sneeze because of something I did. It's not nice of me, right?"

What? Man, so this was what it was all about? "You don't need to go so far for something so trivial. I can handle one or two sneezes, no problem. Seriously, Eri, all because of that?"

"D-Don't be so harsh, Neku… I really wanted us to have lots of fun tonight, but if you kept on sneezing, it wouldn't be any fun for you, would it? I just wanted to make things a little less difficult for you. My only mistake was being too complacent about being able to finish up with cleaning quickly."

Seriously? ! Her biggest mistake was wanting to do this whole shower thing in the first place! But that wasn't all.

"By the way, Eri, I was under the impression that people spray perfume on their clothes, not on their bodies."

"Huh? Yeah, that's what I did too."

"If the perfume's gonna stick to your clothes anyway, why did you have to wash up at all?"

The blank look on her face told me that she didn't think of that either. Oh brother… This whole farce was for nothing. And she roped me in for good measure.

When the realization dawned upon her, all she had to offer as an explanation for herself was a silly little giggle. "Oh yeah… you're right. Tee hee! Silly me!"

The heavy sigh I let loose showed that I wasn't amused. The girl was clearly thinking and doing all this for my sake, so that I could enjoy myself without being encumbered by perfume or whatever, but it was too bad that she didn't think things through.

Well… it'd be mean of me not to give her props in the very least.

"You can be awfully dumb sometimes, you know that, Eri? Still… even if this was going overboard, it's nice that you were being thoughtful."

"Sorry…"

Her tone was genuinely apologetic, making her seem even more vulnerable. Up close I could relish every detail of her fine self. Those rose-coloured cheeks, those supple lips. That beautiful silky-smooth skin I longed to caress. The lure of bare shoulders and a flawless collarbone. The bodily scent of –

Wait. Scent? Wasn't that perfume I was smelling? The perfume that Eri said I was allergic to?

It was. It must have come from her clothes that I was still holding.

Uh-oh. I could feel a sneeze coming! I couldn't sneeze now. Everyone else in the washroom would know I was here! The itch in my nose was growing worse. The crescendo was at hand. Eri quickly noticed how I was straining to hold it in but probably knew from the way my face was scrunched up that this was a losing battle. And she was right. But I couldn't do anything with my hands still full! The air was thick with panic.

Milliseconds before disaster struck, the quick-thinking Eri reached up and grabbed the bottom half of my face with one hand. Her fingers pinched my nose shut while the rest of her hand was jammed against my mouth. That helped plenty. The itch went away after a few seconds too. For a moment there I thought I was going to lose it! Thanks to her, we avoided some less-than-satisfactory consequences.

…Couldn't breathe, though.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "You okay now, Neku?"

"Mmph."

"I-Is that a yes or no?"

"Mmm-mmph!"

"…Did you just say 'uh-huh', or 'huh-uh' – oh, right! You need your oxygen. Whoops!"

She released her grip on me. I had just about had enough brushes with death for one night! Amidst my wheezing, I chided her, "Good God, Eri! You could've killed me!"

"Sorry!"

"N-Never mind. At least we're safe again. But can you put your clothes back on? We've got only ten minutes till the fireworks. If we're getting out of here it has to be soon."

"Yeah. Alright, nudge over there a bit. I'm going to need some space…"

XOXOXOXOXO

"Freedom at last!"

"Y-Yeah. Freedom."

Eri huffed. "What's with you, Neku? We just got out of the washroom alive and just in time for the fireworks. Heck, we even have five minutes to spare. Can't you be a bit more, I dunno, enthusiastic about our successful escape?"

"I _am_ happy alright… But after what we went through, I'm just… drained. Stamina sucked dry."

The events that took place in our cubicle during the earlier few minutes kept ringing in my head, like a bad song that wouldn't go away. No good escape plan would be complete without a mastermind, and she was it.

"_Okay, Neku," said Eri, "here's how it's gonna go down. After I'm done changing, I'll head out first while you stay here. Once I see that no one's around, I'll give you the signal to leave."_

"_Sounds good. Let's do this." Now or never…_

_I turned my back to her, returning her clothes one by one over my shoulder. Hearing the sounds of her getting dressed right behind me gave me a strange feeling, like my stomach was in spin cycle. It was all a really suggestive affair – what fantasies go through a guy's mind when his ears catch the snap of a bra strap? Goodness!_

_When she took the yukata and then lastly the sash, I knew that she was almost properly dressed and I calmed down somewhat. But it was the calm before the storm…_

"_Neku, could you hold this for me please?"_

_I thought nothing of it and waved my hand over my shoulder, where she promptly pressed something into my palm…_

…_Her towel. I nearly had a heart attack. And why not? ! This was the very towel she had used to wipe her body in… in… a lot of places! ! !_

_But at least I was smart this time. I didn't wait. Those tissues that I brought along came in handy now that I finally had my hands free. I swiftly wadded up my nostrils before I could create a big mess. Good thing. The wetness of the tissues grew as the blood soaked in at a frighteningly rapid rate. So yeah, no bloody geysers happening here._

_As if that wasn't enough, Eri awkwardly made small talk to try and keep things cool. But she couldn't have chosen a more unsuitable topic. "I think I need a new bra soon, Neku. Do dark colours suit me well, or should I go for plain white?"_

_I chose red. The colour that nosebleeds are made of._

That was how it went. So yeah, the whole time till our eventual exit, I was subject to a whole lot of challenges. If I earned a hundred yen for every nosebleed I had in my entire life, I'd be rich!

"Tired, huh?" said Eri. "Eh, I don't blame you. It must have been a harrowing experience. Sorry again about that! I'll be sure to make it up to you soon. I don't know how yet, but I will. That's a promise, so count on it."

She was an unpredictable one when it came to surprises. Some of her presents for me as well as other friends have been pretty crazy, so gift-giving at Christmas felt a lot like potluck or the lottery with her around: you never know what you're going to get and you never know if it'll embarrass the heck out of you. Although the thought of it was tempting, the last thing I wanted was for her to send a large cake to my doorstep only to spring out of it wearing her birthday suit. It'd be nice if I got something nice and simple for a change.

Eri tugged at my sleeve and pointed to the sky. All the festival-goers found themselves basked in the glow of the first sky flower to brighten up the night. We were soon treated to a whole bunch of them, exploding one after another in many colours.

"Watching fireworks," she claimed, "has this mesmerising effect, doesn't it, Neku?"

"Yeah. Makes you relax…"

"You're getting sleepy, Neku. You're getting sleeeeepy…"

"That's cute."

"Your eyelids are getting heavier," she kept teasing, "and in the darkness of your mind's eye, you see the girl of your dreams in a bunny suit."

"Bunny… what?"

"Aww, you shook off my hypnosis already? Too bad. And here I was thinking I could place you under my control. It'd be nice to have you wrapped around my little finger, doing my bidding for me. Hee hee."

"L-Let's just watch the fireworks, Eri."

XOXOXOXOXO

"That was fun!" squealed Eri. "I enjoyed myself thoroughly tonight."

"Yeah… same here."

The fireworks marked the conclusion of the Hachi Fest and the symbolic end of summer. Everywhere the hustle and bustle started to die down as stallholders closed up and people went home. With nothing more to do, Eri and I headed back as well. We were lingering around her doorstep now, just talking and stuff before we would part ways for the night.

"Can't believe it's the end of summer," I mused. "Have I already done my 'time flies' speech? Comes to mind."

"I'll miss the Hachi Fest… Well, there's always next year. Hey, you'll accompany me for next year's Fest too, right, Neku?"

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world."

That cheeky giggle of hers was music to my ears; such a nice, light-hearted sound. "I'll be looking forward to having you win prizes for me again. Even if little Phones here will be with me for life, I'm sure he'd much appreciate a companion of the same… species."

She was in good spirits and so was I. "The same species… You mean, like Teddius Bearus?"

"Ha ha ha! That's a good one!"

As much as I wanted to stay and keep talking, I decided to take my leave. The festivities had left us rather tired. I felt a huge craving for a good sleep and I was sure Eri felt the same way.

"It's getting late… I gotta head back home, Eri. Hey, thanks again for coming with me, by the way. It was awesome."

"I think even Phones here was having fun."

"Are you referring to me or the teddy?"

"Hee hee… You're funny, Neku."

"…Well, good night, Eri. I'll see you tomorrow."

She held up her teddy bear close to her face and feigned hurt. "You aren't going to bid goodnight to little Phones?"

"H-Huh? But…"

The teddy had an unchanging face, but what Eri said twisted it into a sad look. It's just a soft toy, but who was I to argue when I was already starting to feel bad?

I surprised even myself when I reached out to pat it on the head. "Good night, uh… Phones. Sleep well and… see to it that she doesn't drink too much."

"That's cute, Neku," she chuckled, "but that last part was uncalled for."

I raised my eyebrows in amusement. "You sure are getting attached to a soft toy, not that there's anything wrong with it."

She grinned broadly and warmly. "Why wouldn't I? You gave him to me. And I love all the things you give me!"

"Huh?"

Phones found himself resting against her bosom in her embrace… the lucky thing. "You know… All of the things you gave me are beloved treasures of mine. The cheongsam you bought on our second date, even the taste of my first roasted sweet potato… and now this little fella. You may be awkward now and again, Neku, but you never fail to be kind and sincere to me. So… yeah. I love it all."

In the pause that ensued was a marked increase in the temperature of the surrounding air. I could totally understand myself blushing, but her too?

"Oh, Neku, you!" she giggled. "Look what you've done… Making a fair maiden like myself grow all red like this! I should hug you to death as your punishment…"

Such an adorable little devil! I could tell, however, that for all the things I've done for her, she was very thankful. It gave me a good feeling deep inside and I let her know.

"If you like 'em, Eri, that makes me happy."

"Phones here approves too."

"Heh… okay, I'll catch you later."

She grabbed my arm swiftly. "Not until you give Phones a goodnight hug."

I cast her an incredulous look.

"Are… Are you kidding me?"

XOXOXOXOXO

Back at home, my mind was doing somersaults and cartwheels, and my body was tempted to follow suit. It's nice for a guy like me to be reminded that your dream girl looks at you in a positive light. To know that she likes you a whole lot is one of the best things a guy can know.

This was a good thing! I'll celebrate a little tomorrow. Now, people hardly pluck petals off of flowers anymore in this day and age, but at least there's the takoyaki that I got from the Fest as takeaway.

"ACHOO!"

Sneezed again? That reminded me: what kind of perfume was Eri using? She was none too happy about me not noticing, but the scent was so subtle I really couldn't pick it up. Also, is it any point at all to wear perfume when you're going to be smack-dab in the middle of a festival full of the smells of different foods? I'm not a girl so I don't really understand how the female mind works, but from a realistic point of view…

To my puzzlement, there was that perfume again, coming from somewhere – I didn't know where – and drifting into my nose. The moment it got sucked in, another violent sneeze shook the apartment down.

But I didn't get it. If Eri's not around at the moment, then where did that perfume –

The answer became obvious when I happened to glance at my left hand. I was holding something in it…

…it was her towel. Ring any bells?

It was the towel she used to wipe her body in the washroom. I must've forgotten to give it back to her. No wonder I sneezed; it was impregnated with her perfume. But never mind that… What sent my mind spinning…

…was that this thing had touched her _everywhere_. And now I was touching it! Wasn't it like indirectly molesting her? !

Miraculously, I didn't get a nosebleed this time. Or maybe I couldn't because I had drained so much of my blood tonight and didn't have any left to spare.

Eri's towel may be a relatively unimportant throw-away item, but it was still hers. I guess I'll have it washed tomorrow. It'll give me another excuse to see her again too… can't be bad.

As I lay in bed waiting for sleep to consume me, I went through all the little things that made tonight's outing with Eri so much fun. There was the anticipation as I awaited her arrival and the rush of happiness when we met. There was the thrill that came with every hard-won victory at the game stalls. And good food was everywhere – half the fun was seeing how Eri would squeal in delight tasting something nice, the other half was from… um, her sharing her food with me. …Yeah. She liked to spoon-feed me much like how lovers would share ice-cream.

Huh? Lovers?

Wait a minute… Something didn't feel quite right… But what? I had my personal checklist all done and completed as far as I knew. Yukata? Check. Had fun with Eri? Check. Good atmosphere? Check. So what could I possibly –

…Gah! _I didn't confess to her!_ Or rather, I forgot! I freaking _forgot to confess to her!_ I must have been so engrossed in the festivities that it totally slipped my mind!

And so another great chance was lost. And the worst part was, tonight I actually felt up to doing the whole confession thing too! I _knew_ I could do it! Aw man, I knew I was going to catch hell from Uzuki for this…

The next few minutes before I drifted off to sleep were spent seething in disappointment. Damn, I was such a fool! The night would have been perfect, capped off with a beautiful scene of me telling Eri how I really felt about her. Maybe a hug and a kiss if things went well and she reciprocated my feelings… I dunno…

No choice but to try again at a later time. And at that time, I wouldn't forget!

XOXOXOXOXO

"…So, uh, here you go, Eri."

I was standing at her doorstep ready to return her towel, which I had already cleaned and dried. However, the befuddled expression on her face told me that either she completely forgot about it or never cared for it in the first place.

She did come around though, that lightbulb moment burning like a million suns. "Oh, yeah! That's the towel I used last night!"

"You can have it back. Sorry again for taking it with me. It was purely by accident."

"I appreciate the effort, Neku, but you didn't need to go out of your way to wash it and return it to me. Far be it from me to put a damper on your love for chivalry – which is always good, mind you – but I don't need it back. I mean, it's just a cheap towel. You can keep it if you like, though!"

The words made me stiffen up. She just said something really suggestive… and true to form, she picked up on my growing unease and poked fun at me again.

"Ooh, what's this now," she sniggered. "Is my dear Neku shy? Just because it's grazed the skin of a beautiful girl doesn't mean you can't use it anymore. It's still a fully functional towel, you know."

"W-Wait, that's not it." It _was_…

"If not a towel then at least a memento. Think of it as a lady's scarf, you know? Brings good luck or something."

"…Good luck?"

"Hee hee. Why not?"

"Uh, you should probably just take it." I cleared my throat. "You bought it with your own money anyway. I know you're going to argue about how pointless it is to fuss over a cheap thing like this, but it's a matter of principle. If you're holding something that belongs to someone else… you return it. Simple as that."

"We could take turns and share – "

With a low grumble I draped the towel over her face. "Okay, comedy time's over. I'm heading back for now."

I was about to do just that when she stopped me. "Neku, wait. I have something to give you." She zipped back inside.

Colour me curious… "…Another towel?"

"I heard that." Back at the doorway in half a second with a larger smile on her face. "Here. I made this for you."

The thing she pushed into my hands was… "A bento (prepared lunchbox)?"

"It's my way of saying thanks and to pay back for all the trouble I caused you last night. You know, during the whole incident that gave birth to this in the first place." She pointed at the towel still perched lopsided on her head. "So, uh… thanks. And sorry. Again. Oh! And, well, it occurred to me before cooking that I don't really know about your food preferences, so… I just made it into a smorgasbord of some of the stuff you taught me.

"Don't you worry about the taste though!" she laughed. "It's made with a lot of love, so it shouldn't be terrible! Ha ha ha!"

Eri must have put in a lot of care and effort into this. The bandages on her fingers said it all; she could be clumsy with a knife. But no girl would go to all the trouble to make a bento unless it was worth it. Unless the _guy_ she was making it for was worth it. And knowing what that meant made me happy. I was curious though: if she was right-handed, how in blazes did she get cuts on the hand she used to hold her knife?

"Thanks, Eri. I humbly accept. I'll be looking forward to it very much."

"Great! Oh, and let me know where I need to improve my recipes. I need feedback, y'know?"

I loved how she was willing to learn. She's far from being the silly, shallow girl some might come to see her as. "Sure thing. So… are we still up for cooking lessons next Saturday?"

"You bet!"

What a wonderful girl Eri had grown to be… And when I sampled her bento as soon as I got back home, I was very pleased to know that it was just as out of this world as she was.


	16. Happiness is a Kotatsu and a Warm Guy

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 16)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"You WHAT? !"

Uzuki glared at me incredulously. Kariya and Mr Hanekoma were just as dumbfounded, but thank goodness for small favours they didn't explode in my face like she did.

And she would, again. Like now. "Run that by me again!"

"Whoa girl, chill, chill!" Kariya had his hand on her shoulder to restrain her, but looking at her, I'd say my safety would be assured only when she was placed in handcuffs. "I think that's enough for poor Phones. He's already been through a lot as it is without you getting your panties in a bunch."

"But it's inconceivable!" she growled. "I've heard of people who put off romantic confessions for another day because they're scared, but who _forgets? !_"

It's been two weeks since the Hachi Fest ended and the new semester had already begun. The summer vacation was behind us now, and it was back to classes for Eri and I. Not only that, autumn had set in and the days were starting to get colder, bit by bit. I had been meaning to relay the latest developments in my love life to faithful listeners Uzuki, Kariya and Mr H when I found some free time to myself, which is precisely what I have now done. But as you can tell, they didn't take very kindly to my failure.

Kariya raked his fingers through his hair. "Sure is the first time I've heard of someone forgetting to confess, I'll give you that."

"And from someone as eager to do it as Phones too…" That was from Mr H. Even he was legitimately surprised. He even stopped wiping the counter.

The frown on Uzuki's face was furrowed in deeper than usual. "Are you sure you're not covering up that you were too scared to confess? !"

"O-Of course not," I gulped. "After I listened to your advice I actually felt confident, you know! But I really was too wrapped up in the fun of it all, and… yeah. I forgot."

"What the heck… How did that even…"

Kariya wasn't one to dwell on things too much; good for me. "Well, what's happened has already happened. Colour me shocked that Phones here actually managed to screw up, but it's not like we can rewind time and change the course of history."

"He's right, sister," agreed Mr H. "It'd be better for Phones to move on and try again. We wouldn't get anywhere thinking about the past too much."

Our fiery lass still had an axe to grind with me, but even she had to concur and give up. "Fine. Point taken."

"Don't keep us waiting," said Kariya in jest. "The next time you drop by, we want to hear a good story! Well, we're not really rushing you or anything, but you shouldn't take too long, either."

"What he said," snapped Uzuki. "Just hurry up and confess already! Maybe you'd prefer to pick your moment and wait for the right atmosphere and all that blah blah blah, but don't you think it'd also be best to set the record straight and be direct about it? I don't think Eri would mind."

"True that, Uzuki. _Except_… it can't hurt to take precautions. If you just go right up to someone and say you like her, all of a sudden, it'd freak her out. We certainly don't want that happening now, do we? It's very important to be careful."

"Again with this. I don't understand you people! You're just slowpokes, that's all there is to it!"

Mr H found the argument between the two Reapers amusing and laughed. "You sure are getting heated up over Phones' confession thing, sister."

Uzuki huffed, "Only because he's being wishy-washy, and I can't stand wishy-washy guys!"

I tried to defend myself. "I-I'm not being wishy-washy, Uzuki! I was all set to go. I just forgot!"

"Yeah, well, I don't like forgetful guys either!"

"Urgh…" Her words stung like bees…

XOXOXOXOXO

Just hurry up and confess, she said… Easier said than done! I couldn't just do that anytime… I had to wait for the right time and place! Just like Kariya said. Uzuki may disagree, but if she's not the boss of me – and she certainly wasn't – then what the hey.

My confidence was in place. All that was left was to do it. I'd get round to it eventually, but a suitable moment had yet to show itself.

In the meantime, however, I had the autumn climate to worry about. Just barely a fortnight ago it was a sweltering hot summer, and now it had gotten chilly to the point where it'd be awfully uncomfortable to head outside without a jacket. As a homebody, I don't go out as often as the average person, but now I didn't even want to take one step out of the front door.

Even with central heating at my home, it couldn't hurt to have a bit more warmth. And so in the living room I laid out the kotatsu – a low table with an electric heat source. It's like an electric blanket, and what you do is slip your legs under the tablecloth and sit there to warm yourself up. The humble kotatsu has been my faithful companion for many a good autumn or winter day, and now, it would accompany me again.

There was no particular rush with homework and I didn't feel like doing anything because of the cold, so I just sat there like a statue. Lazy days like this don't come often, but when they do it's a little numbing.

Wonder what Eri's doing now…?

Life has a funny way of answering questions. As I would find out when she showed up at my doorstep.

The autumn may have chilled me into dormancy, but she was a peppy as ever, ready for action at the drop of a hat.

"Hi, Neku! Um… Are you busy?"

"No, not at all. Why? Is something the matter?"

"Not really, though I'll explain… Say, c-can I come inside first? I'm gonna freeze solid at any moment!"

How could she not? That hooded jacket wouldn't be enough to keep her warm if she was wearing a mini-skirt. The way she was shivering was adorable, though.

"Hee hee… Pardon my intrusion, Neku. …Ooh!" Her eyes snapped to the kotatsu that was in plain sight. "A heated table! That's just what I needed! You wouldn't mind if I slip my fine self underneath, would you? Please?"

I chuckled at her eagerness. "Go ahead. I was just about to invite you to do just that anyway."

"Really? Thankies!" She gave me a big hug. "You're so nice!"

"Wh-Whoa, h-hold on there…" Oh my god, her chest was pressing against me… I could hardly breathe! Did they grow bigger? ! Since when? ! And, more to the point, how? !

"Eep!"

She sprang away in a second, like in those romantic comedies where the heroine hugs the male protagonist and recoils out of embarrassment when she realizes what she has done. And then they both blush like mad. One of those cute moments, you know? But with Eri… now, _she_ wouldn't do that for that reason. If it's her we're talking about, it's probably something else.

And I was right. She pulled down the zipper of her hoodie and out popped her teddy bear from the chest area like a jack-in-the-box, which she fished out.

"Whew!" Again she was talking to it… "I almost forgot about you, Phones. Sorry for crushing you like that, little fella!"

Oh… that explained things. But that raised another question. "Y-You were keeping it inside your jacket? For what purpose?"

I led her to the kotatsu, where she promptly slipped in, and I started preparing a mug of cocoa for her. "There's a power failure at my apartment, Neku. It's localized, so we're the only house in the block without electricity. My landlady is getting round to having it fixed, but until then things are _really_ cold without central heating. That's why I came here. To stop myself from turning into a block of ice."

"Oh, I see. But that doesn't explain why you were hiding a teddy bear in your jacket…"

"I couldn't bear to leave poor Phones in my house to face the cold alone. I had to bring him with me. But it's a little embarrassing to carry him around like Shiki sometimes does with Mr Mew, so I had him safely stashed away in my jacket."

I brought her the cocoa and sat down with her. "I'm not even going to start questioning the logic behind that… But didn't it make your chest bulge out too much? When you hugged me just now, it hurt a little, too."

"Yeah, people were staring. I walked past this group of girls and I could almost taste the envy oozing out of them! Talk about an ego boost, ha ha ha!"

"If you ask me, it's kind of scary…"

"I wouldn't go so far as to call it scary, but I agree with you that fake boobs are dumb. The real thing is much better." As she said that, she eyed down at her chest and groped it a bit with her hands, as though to examine it. How could she do things like this in front of someone, and a guy no less? ! Was it just me, or were they more pliable than I tho–

"Wait, wait. Th-That's not what I'm talking about, Eri!"

Her lips curled into a mischievous leer. "Say, what're your preferences? What _size_ turns you on? Hmmm? Don't be shy! I'm your best friend. We should be cool with a lot of things by now, right?" She was chuckling herself to dust.

I sighed. "Personally…"

"Yes, yes! Go on!" She was giggling harder. "I'm all ears!"

"…I'm a fan of size 10."

"Oooh… size 10, huh?" Then she snapped back quickly, "Hey, wait! I wasn't talking about shoe sizes! And you know it!"

"Yeah, I knew. That's exactly why I said it."

She pouted purposefully. "Tch… you're no fun."

XOXOXOXOXO

"Ahhh…! Bliss…"

"You all warmed up, Eri?"

"Yeah. Mmmm…!" The girl was wiggling in delight as she soaked in the warmth. "Drinking hot cocoa while sitting at a kotatsu. Man, thish ish sho guhd!"

"Not sure what you just tried to say, but it's great that you came over when you did. Even though it's not winter yet, autumn can be cold. I imagine it wouldn't be fun sitting in an apartment with a busted power supply."

"I'll become a vanilla-flavoured popsicle!" Wh-Why vanilla? "Blackouts are boring too. I can't watch TV, or use my computer, and because I live alone, there's no one to talk to… Well, I could chat on the phone, sure, but I dunno… it's kinda weird doing it in the dark. To me, anyway."

"We're too dependent on electricity to descend back into the Stone Age just yet."

"By the way, what were you doing before I arrived?"

"Me?" I scratched my head. "Eh, nothing, actually. It's a lazy day for me."

"Aha! Tapping into your inner slacker for once, huh? Hee hee… I know how that's like." She took another sip of cocoa. "Then I'm glad I came over. Between the two of us, we wouldn't need to wither from the boredom anytime soon."

My frame stiffened. "A-And your idea of passing the time would be…?"

Eri heaved a slightly annoyed sigh. "You make it sound like I'm always ready for mischief…"

"Aren't you?"

"Hmph! I'll have you know one thing, young man. And that is… I _am_ always ready for mischief! So there! Ohohoho…!"

My face dropped like a box of nails. "What the heck…"

Her frame shuddered a little and she rubbed her arms vigorously. "Brrr! It's swell that we've got a kotatsu, but the upper half of my body is still cold! It must be colder than usual today."

"I'll get you a blanket." But as I was getting up, she stopped me and motioned me to sit back down.

"Wait. I've got a better idea."

A better idea? Since when were her ideas any better? She's been the brainchild of many a harebrained scheme, and being dragged along wasn't exactly my idea of fun. Well, maybe once or twice they worked out fairly nicely, but…

Next thing I knew she had crawled over to my side. "Neku, could you move over a bit?"

"Huh? Are you trying to sit together with me on my side of the table? Don't be ridiculous… There's no way the two of us will fit in!" Even when I said that, though, I was _really_ hoping that we could. It'd be nice to cling together.

"Don't worry about it. I can be _veeery_ flexible, so of course we will."

"I dunno…"

"You never know till you try! Now, let's give it a shot!"

"Huh… Whoa? !"

Eri quickly sidled closer and gently nudged me aside to make space for herself and her fine legs to slip through. I was right in that it would be cramped, because for all of her so-called flexibility, even she had slight problems fitting in. But through a lot of compromise and uneasy squirming plus a fair bit of pain, she accomplished the difficult task of sitting side by side with me, although she had to drape her leg over mine to squeeze in – hang on… that's not really sitting "side by side"… Still, I guess somewhere along the way, a miracle happened.

"Heh!" She wiped her forehead. "See? I'm flexible, aren't I?"

"It still feels like a can of sardines in here…" How was sitting together supposed to warm her up anyway?

"And for the final step, I'll be borrowing your body for a bit. Yoink!"

Like greased lightning she moved in for the kill. …Nah, I exaggerate. All she did was give me a bear hug… Wait. "All she did"? ! A bear hug from her was plenty! ! ! She did love being clingy…

"Just as I thought!" she squealed. "Mmmm, you really are hot."

Hearing that almost made my head snap back. Whoa, that sure was an amazing thing to hear! Did she think I was _that_ cute?

But some mild disappointment was in store for me. "Oh Neku, it's so nice that you have so much body heat to spare! I'm warming right up. Aaah… Happiness is a kotatsu and a guy with an unusually high body temperature."

Oh, _that_ kind of "hot"… I knew it had to be something like this. Oh well, not complaining.

"Eri? Uh, I can't move my arms."

"And you don't need to," she giggled. "Just stay the way you are. …You know, some people have warm bodies and others have cold ones, but you have the warmest. I wonder if high body heat is something you're born with? Or maybe it's simply because you're a hot-blooded young man." She broke into brief soft laughter and her death grip tightened a little. My blood circulation was going to get cut off at this rate…

"That's it!" she continued. "I've decided! Since you make such an excellent living heater, I'll make it a point to cling to you when I'm feeling chilly. I'll be here a lot during the autumn, and you can bet I'll be here during winter and the cold early days of spring!"

"A-And in the summer…?"

"…I'll dump you."

"Huh?"

"Kidding!" she sniggered, snuggling even closer. "I'll cling to you no matter what! 'Cause we're best friends, see? And best friends stick together!"

"I'm happy about the best friends bit. The 24/7 clinging part though…"

Suddenly, the whole house was plunged into darkness, which gave us a start. She even fumbled her embrace with a gasp.

"A blackout?" I muttered.

In the inky blackness she replied, "Looks like it. Maybe my landlady borked the repairs for my apartment's power supply and now it's affected us too somehow."

"H-Hey, don't say things like that. You make it sound like we've been jinxed."

Her cell phone rang and she answered. A short conversation later, she said, "That was my landlady on the line just now. She called up to tell me the power at my place hasn't been fixed yet. The whole block is out of power as well, but reassured me that none of that is her fault. …Or so she said." Don't tell me this really was all because the landlady screwed up? !

Wait a minute… I just thought of something. If this was a power failure, any electrical equipment I had wouldn't work. And that included this kotatsu. That's right… it's not working right now. Which meant that sooner or later it wouldn't be warm anymore and we would freeze.

There was no telling how long the blackout would last. There was some leftover warmth in the kotatsu, but it can only last so long before things got cold again. I should do something about this… Heck, I was making the whole thing sound like a life-or-death struggle against the forces of nature. Was I overthinking things? Maybe not. Better take some precautions. After all, a guy's got to take care of the girl, right?

So that's exactly what I was going to do. For Eri.

"Eri," I said, "please lend me your phone. I have to look for some stuff, and I'll need the light to see my way around. Just sit tight, okay?"

"Alright. Be careful."

Navigating around the darkness was tough even with an improvised flashlight, but at least I was in an environment that I was immediately familiar with and I knew where to go. I returned to Eri soon enough.

"Alright, I'm back," I said. "Sorry you had to sit by yourself in the dark, Eri. You okay?"

"Still all good on my end. No nightmares."

"Here. Take this."

The thing I was searching for was my duvet, and now I draped it over her shoulders. "Tuck yourself in, Eri. Oh, and please make way. I'm coming back under the kotatsu."

It was even more challenging squeezing in together again when we couldn't even see right. But eventually after a few mistakes and accidentally touching each other in the wrong places – my hand grazed the inside of her thigh and made her gasp – things were back in order once more. I moved as close to her as I could before looping the duvet around both of us. With this, I hoped we wouldn't feel the cold so much.

I asked with concern, "How do you feel now?"

"…I'm fine. It's… warm."

"If you're worried about Phones, have him join us." Funny how I was actually thinking about the teddy's welfare…

"Y-Yeah. He's already with me."

What's with her? She was being strangely subdued. Normally she would be spouting off jokes and wisecracks like she had a second mouth, or teasing me with her seductive nature till the town flowed red with my nosebleeds. Now, no one's a joker _all_ the time, of course, and everyone has their quiet moments, but I still found the change in her behaviour quite peculiar.

"What's wrong, Eri?"

At my query, she seemed to snap back to her usual self. "Oh! It's nothing really, hee hee… It's just, well, this is the first time a guy's done this for me. No one's laid blankets over me when I'm cold before."

Her response made the palpitations in my heart grow a bit more intense, but I played it cool. "Blackouts don't happen a lot, so one wouldn't get blankets on their shoulders too often. Besides, I'd think this is the sort of thing anyone would do… right?"

"That's just like you to say something like that," she chuckled. "You're right, though. It's a rare thing to be sure, but you know… I don't get quite as caring a vibe from my previous boyfriends. Guys can be so hopeless like that. _You_, though… You're definitely different. And I like that."

She just praised me… I could tell she was very impressed with me. Ah! That's right! Now that the atmosphere was nice and suitably quiet, what better time to confess than now?

No, hang on. Confessing during a blackout? What kind of idiot would do that? ! It didn't matter that Eri was snuggled up with me and getting really cozy and comfortable… It didn't matter that we were alone with no one to disturb us… It didn't matter that she was happy with my gentlemanliness… None of it mattered at all! It's just not done telling a girl about your feelings during a power failure when you can't even _see_ who you're confessing to! I mean, that's just plain ridiculous! ! ! It's like reading comics blindfolded!

There's also the possibility that she might get put off if I did that – "_What? Neku, are you stupid? ! We're in the middle of a blackout!_" – so all things considered, it was best to leave it for later. Damn, this was a pretty good situation though.

"Neku," she piped up, "it can get pretty boring waiting for the power to come back, so why don't we exchange some ghost stories?"

Urk! Horror stories were my greatest weakness! And I didn't mean that I was especially fond of them… quite the opposite! That's why I stay away from all forms of horror-related media. Slasher flicks and gory video games were out of the question. Call me a wimp, but I couldn't help that I hated the stuff.

Eri, on the other hand, was a big fan. She just loves a good scare. Horror was as much a hobby for her as fashion. Unfortunately, she's built up quite a resistance and is always hungry for something fresh and different, something that would really knock her boots off. So nowadays whenever a cliché jump scare happens in a movie… she laughs.

Yeah, she's weird. But back to story time…

"What's with the pause, Neku? Hee hee… Petrified already?"

"You know I'm not good with stuff like that! Power failures I can take, but not ghosts!"

"Awww, but see… it's dark, right?" She playfully directed the light of her phone upwards and it painted ghastly shadows on her face. "So it's great for storytelling! Sure, we could turn off the lights at any time, but blackouts are a spontaneous thing, so that makes the experience even more fun and effective – "

"Oh no you don't!" I was very vehement about it. "I'm not getting nightmares again! Can't we talk about more normal things? !"

"What're you talking about?" she huffed. "If you've never heard ghost stories in the dark before, your youth will be wasted! If you're really that scared, you can cling onto me, you know."

"How does 'my youth will be wasted' make any sense at all? !"

Eri grew impatient very quickly. "Rrgh… You're always like this! That's it! Not waiting anymore! We start now! Let's kick things off with 'The Seven Mysteries of Seiko High'…"

Wh-What? ! My alma mater had such a terrifying history? ! Oh god, there were spirits flying around the campus while I was schooling and I didn't even know it? ! Timeout, Eri, timeout!

But nope, she carried on. Her voice took on a purposely creepy and whispery tone as she provided narration for her haunting tale. "This is… a story about unrequited love… It is said that twenty years ago – "

"I'm not listening. La la la la!"

Her eyes rolled to the heavens. "Ugh… I can't tell stories when you get like this! Fine, I give up. You win. Be a killjoy." And just like that, the tale came to its chilling… well, I suppose 'chilling' would hardly be apt to use here. Abrupt and underwhelming might be more like it.

"Look, Eri, I'm sorry for spoiling your fun, but horror isn't my cup of tea. You should know that already from the time we went to watch 'The Haunted Village'."

Despite her little setback, she saw the lighter side of it. "Heh… You screamed like a maniac whenever the vengeful ghost appeared onscreen. The usher even came to shut you up."

The embarrassment of that incident made my face heat up. "I remember. It wasn't fun."

"I suppose it can't be helped… If you don't like something, you wouldn't be a convert anytime soon. I guess it's not fair of me to try and force my likes and dislikes on you. If you did the same to me, I probably wouldn't enjoy it very much."

"You only realized this now? !" was what I would have liked to tell her, but arguing would kill the mood and I didn't want that.

She was feeling talkative and had more to say. "Do you remember that time in high school when the whole class went on that outdoors field trip, and we held a _kimodameshi_? You know, the one where you and I were paired up?"

_Kimodameshi_… That's the test of courage held as what some might call a fun little yearly event; certainly wasn't the case for me. It usually takes place in spooky surroundings like a forest or abandoned building, and the main objective is to explore your way to a certain location, and either lay down something or retrieve prepared items from there as proof that you had arrived at the finishing point. A ghost story about the area would be relayed to everyone to juice them up for the big scare. Collaborators would dress up as spooks to jump out at unwary students and frighten them. And if that's not enough, did I mention it's always held at night?

I never could get out of those darned _kimodameshi_, but at least we could brave the great unknown in pairs. Pairs were decided by lottery, and at that time, the girl I was madly in love with was Shiki, so I would always hope to partner up with her. Not surprisingly, the chances were slim, and my dreams never materialized. It was always someone else.

One time, though, my partner was Eri. So this was what she was talking about, huh?

"Yeah," I said, "I know about that one."

"I could go on about how scared you were," she chirped, "but I think the incident with Beat is waaay funnier."

I laughed quietly as I went through the events of that night with her. Yes, I actually laughed.

"Beat was playing one of the spooks," I recalled. "We encountered him halfway through the forest we were supposed to navigate."

"He leaped out of the bushes at us, right? He could've startled me, but he messed up the jump-scare when he did his ghost roar thing."

"What kind of ghost goes, 'RAAAAARGH, yo!'? Can't help that he's kind of a blockhead, but that was a bit too stupid to be scary in the first place. A ghost wouldn't use street talk…"

Eri giggled harder. "Man, it ended up being such a riot, I laughed my head off all the way back to the others. And because I was laughing so hard, some actually thought I had been possessed or something."

"You always did have a loud laugh. If there were any real ghosts out and about, they'd have been scared off themselves."

"That's how I am. You should know that about me by now, Neku! Anyway, yeah… The _kimodameshi_… Good times. Things were never boring with you back then, and they sure aren't now, and they certainly wouldn't ever be."

"Heh… I could say the same about you."

Our fun little conversation went on for a little while longer before it was interrupted with the very welcome return of the power supply.

"Power's back!" she whooped.

"About time," I said, heaving a sigh. The kotatsu was starting to heat up again too.

"Blackouts can be fun if you do it right, but nothing can replace the electricity we've come to love and depend on."

Her cell phone rang soon enough. My guess was on the mark that it was the landlady on the line. Eri explained afterwards that the power was back at her house too.

"So… you're going back home, Eri?"

Her face lit up with a naughty smile. "Nah, I think I'll stay for tonight. There's cocoa, a kotatsu, and a _reeeeally_ interesting guy to keep me company." The way she drew out her words and that giggle of hers made my insides tumble and turn… in a good way. She even playfully felt up my chest with one hand – holy _yeow!_ "I'd be silly not to stay. Unless I'm bothering you, Neku?"

"N-No! Not at all! Y-You're most welcome to stay. Hmmm… Ahem… One thing, though."

"Uh?"

"The bill for your cup of cocoa, using the kotatsu, and imposing upon me as a whole will come up to 10000 yen. And the lodging fees have not been included yet."

Eri knew I was joking and played along; she could recognize my deadpan comedy style from a hundred kilometers away. But I was about to be outsmarted like always. "Oh my," she gasped in mock shock, "that's pretty pricey, isn't it? The economy's fallen on hard times, though, and I'm kind of… financially-challenged at the moment."

"Them's the breaks… but you still gotta pay up."

"Then this is a right pickle we're in. My cash is low and I don't have a credit card either." She licked her lips. "Will you accept my body then, Mr Sakuraba?"

I knew it would come to this… "Er… c-c-come again? !"

"You're so naïve," she growled. "Did you think I wouldn't have… _alternative_ methods of payment? Hmmm?"

"Uh, ahaha… I think joke time's over, Eri. H-Hey, don't go unbuttoning your shirt! ! ! What're you trying to do, rape me? !"

"Why, that's a splendid idea, Mr Sakuraba!" Uh-oh. The duvet cushioned me when she pushed me down onto the floor, and before my dazed self could recover, she was already towering above me on all fours with her shirt hanging wide open. "You better prepare yourself because you're not getting any sleep tonight."

Then she remembered something, and I was saved. "Oh, I'd been meaning to take a shower."

"Y-Yeah, go on already," I mumbled, quite shocked from her act. "Towels are in the usual place."

It was nothing short of a miracle that she didn't continue to tease me, although she did snigger aplenty before she was satisfied and finally got off of me. Without another word, she slipped inside the bathroom and disappeared. I thought I could still hear her voice from inside, giggling away. Gotta hand it to her that she got me real good this time. Seriously, though! That was one heck of a performance. I don't know where she gets the courage to tease a guy like she did…

And yet, it's part of what makes her so interesting. That carefree attitude of hers betrayed a surprisingly tender and caring personality. Her ways drew me towards her… made me yearn for her affection… made me want her.

The words of my friends at WildKat popped up inside my head… specifically Kariya's.

_The next time you drop by, we want to hear a good story! Well, we're not really rushing you or anything, but you shouldn't take too long, either._

But when will I ever get my chance to confess? I didn't want things to end up awkward between the two of us just because I chose the wrong time to say the magic words. Yeah… if, for example, I had confessed to her while she was in the midst of poking fun at me, with her bra winking at me behind an… undone shirt… then it would… then it would have been… uh… whoa, her bra… it… it was…

…It was… white, wasn't it?

When my memory confirmed this to be correct, it went without saying that my nose become a fountain of blood that just flowed and flowed and flowed…

XOXOXOXOXO

Tonight's a no-go, then. But I believed in both myself and that one day the perfect time would come. I was impatient, but I had to persevere. I just needed to keep things going all nice and smooth between us, and then strike at the right moment. Sorry, Uzuki… there's a certain way to doing things. Hurrying things along too early wouldn't do me any good.

Speaking of hurrying… Eri was still in the bath, and it had been at least half an hour by now. What's with her?

I could hear the sounds of splashing water as I rapped on the bathroom door. "Eri, what's taking you so long?"

"Oh! Sorry!" she called. "I couldn't help it, Neku. There's nothing quite like a hot shower on a cold day! It's really soothing, so getting out of the bath early is no fun at all… but I guess I must have lost track of time."

"Don't hog all the hot water to yourself! I want to take a shower too, so make it quick and come out soon."

"Aww… okay…"

I was waiting in front of the bathroom door with fresh clothes in hand when it opened, and out poured this gigantic cloud of steam. The heat slammed me in the face like a sledgehammer and knocked the air out of my lungs. J-Just how much hot water did she use? !

Eri emerged majestically from within the steam and sounded very contented. "Ahhh…! That felt good!"

My eyes popped out a mile. Eri had a habit of coming out of the shower wearing only her underwear, and it was something I was fairly used to by now, but…

…why wasn't she wearing _any? !_ There was the towel hanging round her neck and over her breasts, but other than that… nothing. The steam obscured her naked figure somewhat, but not by much.

I stammered through torrents of nasal bleeding, "E-Eri? Wh-What happened to your clothes? Why… Why aren't you wearing them? !"

Nudity was no cause of concern for her; she just laughed it off. "Ahahaha! My bad. You see… while I was bathing, there was so much steam that it got into the clothes I brought into the bathroom, and they got all damp and soggy. No one wants to wear wet stuff, you know that. Um, Neku? Oh goodness… You're bleeding like the dickens!"

_Thump._

"Eek! Neku? ! Speak to me! Say something!"

Just my luck to faint and collapse in a heap on the floor. The last thing I saw before my vision clouded over was her bending over me, shouting in my face with concern. In her panic, the towel had slid off from her neck, but there was no guilty pleasure to be had. She was getting too blurry for me to see anything…

…She really was some girl.


	17. Long Time No See, Old Friend

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 17)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Another busy day had ended for me, and I was pooped. It's times like these that make me grateful I have a home to return to and rest up, maybe even get some musical recreation if I was still up for it.

But there was another more compelling reason to hurry back…

There's nothing quite like the feeling of relief when you're safely back in your own home. When the front door clicks closed behind you, it shuts out all the chaos and stress that was so terribly saturated outside and you can finally shake it all off. It's like a completely different world in one's abode – the comfort, the peace of mind, and of course…

"Neku!" called Eri happily. "Welcome home!"

…her. Where would I be without my precious little wildcat?

She skipped over, straight at me, and didn't let go. And as I returned her hug tightly, her giggles tickled my heart. Now this… _this_ was what made coming home all the more worth it. Anyone who's ever tasted love would agree.

"Neku, would you like dinner first? Or a bath? Or perhaps…" She brought her mouth close to my ear and out came a breathy, sexy whisper – the kind that gave my spine delicious shivers. "…me?"

I knew what my answer to that question was, and I let her have it.

"I want everything!" Then I dramatically yanked the tie off of my collar and it was all it took to drive her nuts.

"Oh, you stud!" she squealed. I loved everything about Eri. Even the way she breathed and looked so vulnerable as I stroked the nape of her neck – her weak spot – was a major turn-on. "Ah… No, stop it, you beast. Y-You mustn't… If you don't hurry up, you'll be late for classes…"

Huh?

"Neku! Wake up already! If you don't hurry I'm gonna leave you behind!"

Well… I knew it had to be too good to be true. But still… waking up from a dream so good was like a bad joke. Five more minutes was all I needed. Five! So I could sneak a peek at what sort of shenanigans Eri and I would be up to in that little make-believe world of mine. _Oh, you stud!_ Yeah, if the girl you love said things like this, who wouldn't be interested, right? But with her pulling me and my arm out of bed, I had no choice but to put off my fantasies till a later time.

Eri dragged my still-groggy self into the kitchen where I immediately noted the presence of a distinct aroma and perked up. "Tempura?"

"Sorry," she said, seating us both at the kitchen table. "You normally wake up before I do, but because you overslept, I took the liberty of making breakfast. I had to help myself to some of your ingredients. So again, I'm sorry about that."

Tempura's not usually the kind of thing you have first thing in the morning, but that she even took the initiative to whip up a morning meal made my heart skip a beat. She really had been polishing her culinary skills, which was good. And she almost seemed like a wife! That practically made us like a married couple… except we're not married. But this was by no means bad!

"I'm not a big fan of people using my stuff without asking," I said, "but I'll let it slide this time. If it weren't for you, I'd probably have to arrive on campus late."

"Hee hee… Okay, let's tuck in!"

"So, what're your plans for – ungh? !"

"Neku? Wh-What's wrong? !"

"Your tempura's too spicy!" My tongue was an inferno. I gulped a glass of water down, but it didn't help much. "I thought you knew how to balance out the spiciness!"

"Sorry, my bad!" Her hands slapped together in an apologetic praying gesture. "I usually go all-out with the chilli when I make it for myself. I guess I forgot you're going to eat it too. Will… Will you be alright?"

"I wouldn't die." Another torrent of water went down my throat, but still did nothing. "Oh well… at least I'm wide awake."

"I'll be sure to remember next time, don't you worry!"

Despite this morning's rude – and fiery – breakfast surprise, I was in a good mood. I didn't really know why I was feeling good, but Eri's sunny disposition did have a reputation of being seriously infectious. Maybe I should go on a date with her this evening after classes. I mean, why not? It'd be nice.

As we were riding the bus afterwards, I asked her if she'd be interested. "We could hit up the family restaurant that you like so much. You're a fan of their sundaes, right?"

"I am," she gushed. "My love for their Chocolate Fudge Armageddon rivals even that for The Prince! But you want us to go out this evening? I'd love to, but I have work tonight."

Work? "You mean, you've got a part-time job?"

"Yeah. My shift is in the evenings from 5 to 10 pm, on Wednesday through to Saturday every week. I only just began work recently, so I'm still not very good at it, but I've been getting pretty popular lately!"

I didn't understand what she meant by being "popular", but I could guess that she was probably a hit with her co-workers and customers. Given how pretty and friendly she was, I'd say it was hardly a surprise at all.

"What're you working as, Eri?"

"Oh, I'm a – "

The sentence was cut short when she suddenly slapped her hand over her mouth, and the conversation went silent for a good few seconds. What? Was there something she couldn't tell me? As I stared at her in puzzlement, she recovered quickly enough to cobble together a reply.

Fiddling with her strawberry hair a little, she mumbled, "I'm sorry, Neku. Actually, the details of my part-time job are a closely-guarded secret. I know we're the best of friends and I trust you, but to leak a word about it to anyone at all would be a breach of contract. It's just… I can't say it. Sorry…"

What was it about her job that she needed to be so secretive about anyway?

"So then," I said, "you're under the employment of an international spy ring?"

She played along. She never could resist a good joke. "Heh, yeah. I'm totally gonna save the world for my next assignment!"

"If you were a real spy, wouldn't you keep your profession under wraps instead of boasting about it?"

"…And I always did like my beer shaken, not stirred."

"I thought it's Martinis, not beer." I led her back to the topic at hand. "So anyway, you really can't tell me, Eri? If you don't want to say it, that's cool."

"Sorry, Neku, I'm afraid I can't. But keeping you at the edge of your seat completely would be mean of me, so how about a little hint? Just this one time, and only because you're cute. Hee hee." A hint… And _that's_ not a breach of contract?

"I'm curious to know everything, but this will do for now. Let's hear it."

There was a giggle in her throat and a smile to go with her playful nature. "Hmmm… You could say I… cater to my customers' every need."

"What kind of hint is that?" I snorted. "That could apply to any job."

"That's true," she chuckled. "Whuh-oh. I get off here, Neku. And since I'm cutting it close too, I'll see you later. Toodles!" She scrambled to her feet and made haste for the doors, but I called out to her.

"Eri! Um… Do you still want to go on that date, at some other time, that is? We can find a way around our schedules. Or, uh…"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world! We'll work something out, don't you worry! Later!" With a smile and a wave plus a dash of girlish charm, she was gone.

I leaned towards the window and glanced absentmindedly at the surroundings outside. And I pondered about her… So Eri found herself a job, huh… but what kind? It could be anything. College students tended to favour stints as waiters or waitresses at cafes or fast-food restaurants. And a high school classmate of mine that I vaguely remember used to make his rounds delivering newspapers around his neighbourhood.

But what job would require her to keep mum about it? Maybe she really was making extra pocket money as a secret agent after all? !

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri's new job kept me so occupied that I could hardly concentrate on today's lectures. I wouldn't normally concern myself this much about something so trivial, but as she was someone I cared very much about, I felt I had the right to be curious.

There were a number of things a green, inexperienced college student could do to earn some money. No matter what I came up with, however, I would second-guess every possibility and think to myself that "it's not like her to do this" or "nah, she probably wouldn't want to do that." It was difficult for me to picture her, say, behind the counter at a fast-food outlet saying, "Would you like fries with that?"

There was the part where she couldn't even say what she was working as, too. That was what worried me the most. Was it because it was so embarrassing that she would just _die_ from telling me?

Wait a second… Embarrassing?

An embarrassing job…? Could it be that she's working as a waitress at a nightclub? ! Oh no! That would make sense!

Whoa, whoa, whoa… This was huge! Sure, Eri could be pretty daring, but earning her pay at a nightclub? ! Better look at this scenario in greater detail. Let's see… To summarise what Eri said so far:

1. She could not reveal the nature of her work.  
>2. Her working hours were from 5 to 10 pm.<br>3. Although she was new, she has enjoyed some quick popularity.  
>4. She claimed to cater to her customers' every need.<p>

A deeper analysis of the aforementioned pointers revealed some disturbing facts.

1. The general impression of nightclubs is that they are home to some of the most terrible characters. Nightclub employees would be hard-pressed to proclaim to people that they're working in such a seedy environment. Because of this, the part where she was bound by contract not to say anything might have all been made up.

2. Eri's working hours were during the evening, which was just the right time for nightclubs to be open for business.

3. Much as I hated to admit, Eri was admired by guys by the bucketload. Her beauty would definitely be an asset, helping to attract customers, most of which – chicken brains not necessary to know – belonged to the male demographic.

4. Catering to her customers' every need… I shudder to imagine! Don't hostesses at these kinds of establishments have to subject themselves to the customers' every whim and whimsy? Like maybe sit on their lap or something? Said customers are usually the perverted kind; what was to stop them from copping a feel or two?

Here I had been slamming nightclubs left and right, but there were other similar alternative modes of employment that I had yet to examine. She could have signed up as a lingerie model, or she might be working as – heaven forbid – a stripper. Gah! _A stripper!_ Just because she did that a lot at home didn't mean she had to take her habits out to public!

Eri, you… I knew that the economy was bad, but that was no reason for you to choose such a line of work!

Still… I couldn't be sure if I was right on the money with all these conjectures. For all I knew, they could be baseless and unfounded. But I couldn't shake off this feeling of dread… Right now, more than anything, I wanted to know for sure that she wouldn't stoop so low just for income. I wanted to be wrong.

I made a beeline for WildKat afterwards where I hoped I could find some ears to hear me out. Luckily for me, my biggest fans were there having a cuppa.

Uzuki mumbled through a sip of coffee, "So Eri wouldn't tell you about her part-time job, huh…"

"And you're worried, boss?" said Mr Hanekoma, bringing me my order of pumpkin soup.

Kariya saw the lighter side of things like he usually did and laughed. "Man, what a worrywart you are, Phones! What are you, her mum or something?"

"Can it, Kariya," hissed Uzuki, glaring at him. "Can't you see Neku is concerned for her safety? The last thing he wants is for her to end up at the mercy of some creep."

"Heh heh… No need to shoot me down, Uzuki. Of course I know how he feels! But Phones, don't you think you could be overthinking this? I mean, going so far as to think she might be the main draw of a cabaret… That doomsday theory of yours is a bit out there, you know? Even for a quirky girl like Eri."

The frown of anxiety never left my brow as I slurped up my soup. "Somewhere inside of myself I know she wouldn't do that, and I know that what I suggested sounds crazy, but the whole thing's been eating at me."

Mr H was as kind and patient as ever. "Phones, for all of her oddities, Eri sounds like a good girl at heart. I seriously doubt for one moment she'd even think of working as a stripper or nightclub hostess."

"…Although," said Kariya, "her as a lingerie model doesn't sound too bad. You can buy all of her photo albums!"

An annoyed Uzuki sighed, "You're not helping."

"Phones," said Mr H, "why don't you try again to ask her about it?"

I shrugged and shook my head. "I could give it a shot, but she can be really stubborn. It'll take a lot of persuasion to get her lips flapping."

Uzuki had a brainwave. "Hey, we could always scan her, right? It'd save all the trouble."

"Ooh, nice idea, girl!" seconded Kariya. "We can finally solve this case that way! And while we're at it, why don't we see what else we can dig up from her head. Go on, Phones! You can't read people's minds anymore, but we can, so tell us what you want to know about her and we'll help you answer your burning queries."

"How did the conversation come to this exactly?"

"I'm sure you've got a whole bunch of them just waiting to be ticked off your list of 'Tantalising Things to Know About Eri'. Like if she sleeps in her underwear. Eh? Eh?" The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end for a brief second… I knew the answer to _that!_

"We're not perverts, Kariya. Maybe you are but I'm not."

He ignored her and carried on, "Oh, and if you want us to find out how Eri feels about you, just say the word and we'll be on it!"

I stiffened. "Huh?"

The glint in Kariya's eyes was brighter than a million suns and the lure of a spot of harmless tomfoolery must have been hard to say no to. "Sure, it'll be like eavesdropping, but as long as she doesn't realize it – and she wouldn't – it's cool! Sure makes you glad we're your buddies, huh? It don't get better than this!"

"Guys," laughed Mr H softly, "this is a bit…"

I had to admit… What they proposed to do for me was very tempting. With their help, I would be able to finally put to rest all the doubts and worries I had about Eri's part-time career.

Uzuki and Kariya meant well, and going along with their plan would also put a swift and much-needed end to the back-and-forth cycle of "she loves me, she loves me not" that was absolutely driving me nuts. And getting to know about the finer details that made up the girl that is Eri would give me an idea on how to go about courting her efficiently – things that she appreciates to name but a few. I would have a significant advantage.

But… was it really the right way?

"So, Phones?" chuckled the carrot-haired Reaper. "How about it? Even Uzuki's getting in on this one! Between us there's no stone we'll leave unturned. We'll find out everything you need to know and we'll do it free of charge, 'cause all we Reapers need for payment is your soul. Heh, I kid."

My reply to their offer was, "No, I can't."

Kariya almost seemed disappointed that he wouldn't be having any fun soon. "What? Why not? We're really not going to consume your soul, you know."

Even Uzuki attempted to reason with me, albeit for a different reason. "This way will be quick, Neku. And you'll get to know more about Eri. Well, that and… it's tiring to watch you dawdle around like a headless chicken not knowing what to do next. Figured it's time we give you a head start." Way to say some harsh words, woman…

"Guys," I said, "I get that you want to help me and I'm thankful. But no matter if it's about her part-time job or her feelings, I think that if I want to know more, I should ask her myself and hear the truth from her own mouth. I just feel that it's more… right."

Mr H sprang at the chance to add in his two cents' worth. "You know, I was thinking the same thing. It's nice that an easy and straightforward option exists, but there are times in life when you simply have to do it yourself. Even if it's much harder."

The two Reapers seemed reluctant to agree with his line of thinking, or mine for that matter, but in the end even they saw the wisdom in it and gave up. Kariya mumbled, "Well, I can't argue with you, old man…"

"…Just so you know, I'm still in my early forties." And the dark look on his face made sure both knew.

"But then," said Uzuki, "that brings us back to square one. If Eri's not going to say anything no matter how much you ask, Neku, there's no way you'll ever know."

"I wouldn't be so pessimistic, sister." Mr H turned from her to me. "I'm sure if you tell her how you feel – that you're worried about her – she'll understand and spill the beans, contract be damned."

Would she? Hmmm… If Mr H put it that way, and if I really tried my best to get through to her, then maybe I could get an answer.

"By the way," he added, "that applies to your confession too, which, as I remember it, is still pending."

I nearly gulped too much of my soup down. "H-Huh? ! Oh, um, y-yeah…" This wasn't going to sit well with Uzuki and Kariya, that's for sure…

…and what do you know, I was right. "Honestly, Neku!" she grumbled. "You've had plenty of chances by now…"

That was when Kariya had another bright idea, as though he had a ton of ideas in store for me and if he couldn't say what it was his head would explode. "Then why don't we try imprinting some suitable memes on Eri to speed things up? It wouldn't be a sure-fire success story, but it'll help, right?"

"You just want to have fun. But whatever. If a miracle can come out of it, I'm in."

"Not again." Mr H let out a sigh, although it was more out of amusement rather than exasperation. Uzuki and Kariya had already forgotten the lesson that they had just learnt: sometimes, you gotta do it solo. Besides, with these two? They might end up slotting the worst and most inappropriate stuff into Eri's mind. Couldn't let that happen! She might get weird ideas and turn into a total beast!

I waved my hand this way and that for their attention but they were too busy discussing sexy memes to notice me. "H-Hey, don't I get any input here? !"

XOXOXOXOXO

Going to WildKat didn't really help much in the advice department. In all truth, I just knew they were going to say that everything would be okay with Eri. But relating my troubles to somebody else did me plenty good. Not quite out of the woods yet for me, but at least I felt better.

Now I just had to think of how to ask her the right way. I had to be smart and tactful here… But until then, it was back to conjecture time.

What _was_ she working as, anyway? The same few possibilities flashed in my head over and over, and it was hard to think of anything else. As I sat on a bench near the Statue of Hachiko doing people-watching, I tried to guess what jobs the people passing by might be holding.

The middle-aged man with the balding hairdo… Judging from his suit and briefcase, it was easy to see that he was a businessman of some kind. Trotting past on high heels was a woman in what I believe to be in her early thirties. Hmmm… Office lady, huh. Or a teacher. What about the couple of schoolgirls over there? They might be helping out in a sushi bar, if their hands were deft and their skill with the knife was good.

And then there was the rather attractive bespectacled girl drinking from a water fountain nearby. Ooh, she was a cute one. Dainty, too, and delicate. But still waters can run really deep, can't they? She could be moonlighting as a –

Hold on. What's with her… Had I seen her somewhere before…?

The girl happened to glance my way, and her eyes grew wide. So did mine.

"Neku?" she gasped. "Hey, it _is_ you!" She bounded over and her grin was of extra-large proportions.

I was so surprised that I almost couldn't find my voice. "Shiki! Wh-What're you doing here?"

Shiki Misaki… Been a while, hasn't it. Just in case anyone forgot, here's a quick recap: she's a friend of mine and we used to go to school together. For the longest time, I had been madly in love with her, but I could never bring myself to say the three magic words. When last we met, it was under unfavourable circumstances – for me, anyway; the news that she got herself a boyfriend came as a rude shock. It was an unrequited love up until the end.

Bumping into her out of the blue – and so suddenly at that – was jarring, especially since we haven't spoken in a while, not because our friendship turned sour, mind you; nothing of the sort ever happened and we're still buddies. But between clashing schedules and her being busy spending quality time with her boyfriend, there weren't a lot of chances at all to meet up and chat. Another reason it was jarring was… well, let's not forget who I was really in love with now. It feels strange to talk so nonchalantly to someone you know you used to have a huge crush on.

In reply to my earlier question, she said, "I'm not doing anything much. It's a nice day, so I'm hanging out. You?"

"Um… Same here, I guess…"

"Heh heh… You did always love to space out. Sure takes me back! It was practically your hobby back in high school."

Without a witty response to offer, I just gave a short rattle of a laugh. Why was I getting all tense from speaking with an old friend, or to be more precise, an old crush? I shouldn't be this tongue-tied. Hmmm… What to say, what to say… No good. Nothing useful came to mind! Once an awkward fellow, always an awkward fellow, huh… That was why it was much to my relief when she spoke up next:

"Neku, how long has it been? Months, I think? Let's get together somewhere; we have some catching up to do. I know a place where we can get light refreshments. My treat!"

"Oh, um… s-sure, that'd be nice, but – "

She giggled. "Just because someone's in a relationship doesn't mean you can't have dinner with them."

"Ah… Y-Yeah, that's right…" She saw right through me, knew what I was thinking. How could she not? Like Eri, she had known me for a good while.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Doesn't the ambience just soothe the senses, Neku? It's perfect for a nice little evening chat."

I glanced around nervously at the surroundings of our meeting spot. "Y-You think so? I mean, don't get me wrong; I'm happy we get to talk after such a long time, but… isn't this place a little, I dunno, embarrassing?"

Shiki gave a short chuckle. "Oh come now, it's not so bad once you get used to being waited upon like this! It's awesome!"

So she said, but… I doubted it. Right now, the two of us were at a butler café. And, well… Perhaps I should explain a little about this. And I might get a little long-winded, so bear with me.

Japan is the birthing spot of several famous trends, and among those trends are themed cafes. These are restaurants that draw their customers in by focusing their setting, menu, and the staff on a particular theme. To date, the more popular ones are maid cafes where the waitresses dress as maids – the uniform varies with each establishment – and treat customers as their masters. That means having to perform their duties in a sickeningly sweet and cute way.

They typically offer other optional services too, such as having their photos taken with the customers, playing video games with them, or even spoon-feeding them, where every spoonful means a perverted sense of gratification for the customer and more money in the cash register. Yeah, it's an embarrassing facet of life in Japan if I ever saw one, which is why I've never set foot inside a maid café.

Butler cafes revolve around on the same concept, but with understandable differences. The waiters are all men who are very polite and devilishly handsome in their tailcoats. They give off a sense of refinement – gentlemen to the core. As you can guess, the majority of patrons are women, as opposed to maid cafes where males dominate the customer base. The extra services offered are a little different too. I could go on about it, but you probably get the idea…

So yeah, maid and butler cafes cater to a niche audience, but heck – pretty much the entirety of Japan's population is the damn niche.

Our tea was brought over by a guy wearing glasses and hair tied back in an elegant ponytail. Like all of the other butlers, he had a face striking enough to make any woman melt into goo. I was sharp enough to notice how many of the other customers were looking at him in awe and squealing in their seats.

"Milady, master, forgive me for the wait," he said to us. "Your food will be ready shortly, so until then, please enjoy your tea." With a slight bow, he then left to take the orders of another swooning customer.

Even Shiki could hardly contain herself after being basked in his gentlemanly aura. "Quite a charmer, isn't he?" she gushed.

What was I supposed to say to that? "I… guess so."

"His name is Seishirou-sama and he's this place's finest butler! I get the giggles just being here! The manly, mature way he does things… simply watching him go about his business is eye candy."

"Oh, uh… I see." Did she just add "-sama" to the end of his name? First Eiji Oji, now Seishirou-sama. Fangirls can be one crazy lot…

"Ah, but that was just a short detour, Neku. We're here to talk about old times, after all! So, for starters, what have you been up to?"

"I've been busy with coursework. Our next big project is due in a few weeks and we have to band ourselves into groups. I'm currently helping to create a presentation. Other than that, assignments and all that stuff… Sorry, I know it sounds boring but I don't have much going on in my life at the moment."

"That's not true," she countered. A smirk had formed on her face and it was a sly one. "Haven't you been getting along _reeeeally_ well with Eri lately?"

I felt a jolt in my heart. "Wh-What do you mean by that? !"

"Heh heh… You're always going out shopping with her every Saturday, aren't you? I've seen you two together a few times before. If that's not an interesting development in Neku Sakuraba's life, I don't know what is!"

"I-It's nothing big, really… I was just helping her with groceries."

"Heh heh. Even back in high school, you and Eri were two peas in a pod. It's nice that you're still close."

Eri… Yeah, that's true. During my schooldays, I didn't get to spend as much time with Eri as I did with Shiki – due in part to us being in different classes – but we were still good friends nonetheless. Nowhere on the level of skinship that she shares with me now, of course, but we were close enough.

"Hey," Shiki piped up, "do you still remember that time when she challenged you to a table tennis match?"

Oh boy, did she have to bring _that_ up? I didn't exactly have the best impression of that incident. It was on a hot Thursday afternoon…

XOXOXOXOXO

The shouts and cries that I was hearing… They must belong to the ever-energetic members of the track and field club. Classes were over for the day and now it was club activity time. Not everyone was a member of some club, so the school was mostly deserted save for a handful of hardworking souls and poor old me.

Sure was a hot day. You could melt in this weather! Those guys from track and field must be fools to stay outdoors and run around on an afternoon like this. But who was I to claim that they had no common sense when I myself was brooding on the rooftop where the sun was shining so mercilessly on me?

Now, we all have our moody days, and today, I had mine. I just sat there, deep in thought, hating the sun for making my personal sanctuary a little too hot for its own good. This was supposed to be a place for me to unwind, not bake like a cake!

"Man," I groaned, "it really is roasting here."

"I agree. Any longer, and you'll turn charcoal-black."

"Yeah, what you said. But then this – huh?"

I paused. There was someone here? And I recognized that voice any day.

"Oh, Eri. What brings you here?"

She stood in front of my limp, sitting form with arms akimbo. "I should be asking you that, Neku. You're always up here on the rooftop whenever something's bothering you. Lemme guess… girl trouble again?"

"Uh, no. But then again, why do you want to know?"

"Honestly, Neku!" she huffed, hunkering down beside me. "I thought we're friends. Shouldn't friends help each other out? If you've got an axe to grind with life, the least I can do is listen and help you sharpen that axe, right?"

Her peculiar choice of words elicited a short bark of laughter from me. "That's a cute way to put it. Well, I'll tell you then… But don't tell anyone else, okay? What we're going to talk about this afternoon is off-limits in future conversations with other people. Top-secret!"

"Cool. I love top-secret stuff. Let's hear it!"

Once I was sure of her silence on this matter, I went into a long rant about how there was a guy in her club who was really popular with the girls, and that I was worried he would snatch her away right from underneath my nose. She seemed to get along pretty well with him, too, which doubled my worries.

"Ooh, so it's _that_ guy?" said Eri with a smile. "I know who you're talking about. I've even met him. He's really interesting! Not to mention cute."

"That's exactly why I'm so uptight about the matter. He's the type to win the hearts of women easily, you know? A real lady-killer."

"Then why don't you go and confess to Shiki already? If she's all over you, then you're safe, right?"

My thumbs were fiddling with each other. "But… I don't think I can do that just yet… I'm not ready. It's just not… you know?"

Eri shook her head and sighed. "Again with this? You've been dithering like this since forever. When are you going to grow some guts and show some manliness? I've been friends with Shiki for some time now, and I'll have you know she's not the type to do the chasing. If you're going to get anywhere, you'll have to do it."

We've had this talk a lot of times by now. But I was a coward, and I couldn't do anything for myself, so Shiki remained out of reach. I seriously began to wonder if the day would ever come when I could properly confess to a girl. The last thing I wanted was to mess up and miss my chance, and that was what kept me from achieving greatness.

Eri had more than enough of this conversation and stood up. I expected her to be cross with me and storm off, but she grabbed both of my wrists and started pulling. She had always been a girl who was hard to understand, and that I was puzzled by her actions came as no surprise, but still… what was she doing?

"Come on, Neku," she grunted, pulling harder. "Up!"

I had no choice but to scramble to my feet. "Eri? What're you – "

Now she dragged me by the wrist away from the rooftop to who-knows-where. "I've just the thing to snap you out of your funk." Her eyes had this twinkle in them that just spelled major hijinks. "I'm going to make you… sweat a bit…"

H-Huh? Whoa, wait. She said she was going to make me "sweat". Sweat how? Was she trying to seduce me to make me feel better? ! She didn't need to go that far! Heck, I hadn't even gone to first base yet! I didn't care if she was alright with it. How about thinking about my feelings for once, huh, Eri? !

"Eri, hang on! I can't… I can't do this!"

"Why not? !" Oh man… what was with that annoyed, impatient tone of hers… Did she really want to do it that badly with me? !

"B-Because you're my precious friend. Besides, my heart isn't even ready…"

Now she appeared more confused than anything. "Not ready? Are you _that_ bad at table tennis?"

"…Huh?"

"Neku, I was going to challenge you to a round. What did you think I was going to do?"

What? Table tennis? Oh… I should've known. How silly of me! And here I thought she was going to do something else… Ahaha…

"Ah, um… I see," I mumbled, suddenly feeling sheepish. "Okay, that's fine with me. Not like I have anything to do now, anyway, so I guess I can play for a bit."

So now we were in one of the smaller sports rooms that were designed for ping pong in mind. There were no PE lessons today, so neither she nor I brought our PE attire and we had to make do with our uniforms. It was to my great relief that nothing of the kinky sort happened, but it did beg one last question:

"Why are we playing table tennis out of the blue, Eri?"

In the middle of doing arm stretches, she replied, "I read somewhere that if you're not feeling happy, or you're lost and confused in your life, one way to clear your head – and vent your frustrations in the process – is to exercise. Since you fit the bill for the 'feeling down' department, I say we give this a try."

"Hmmm… Okay, whatever." She was thinking for my sake… Nice girl, even if she was batty most of the time. "Um… Thanks, Eri."

She smiled. "Don't get me wrong. I did say exercise, but I never mentioned anything about letting you win. I'm gonna give it my all, so you better prepare yourself!"

Hearing that invigorated me and I suddenly felt competitive. "Heh… Alright, Eri. You're on!"

What I thought at first to be just a little harmless afternoon play quickly turned into a heated match where we were both struggling to stay in the game. Right now though, I was the better player. Save for a few lucky shots that slipped by me, Eri was having a hard time of it. Either she underestimated me, or she was just plain bad at it. Or both.

She paused to catch her breath. "I was… defeated again? A-Are you a pro at this, Neku?"

"No, I don't play it much."

"S-So… it's beginner's luck?" The expression on her face was one of incredulity. "I refuse to believe this! I'm a member of the table tennis club! I should be able to beat down inexperienced guys like you!"

"Eri, clear something up for me, yeah?" I used my sleeve to wipe the sweat off my face. "By any chance… might you be a ghost member?"

"Urk…"

"Thought so," I sighed, slightly amused. "As much as I'd like to say 'practice makes perfect'…"

"Sh-Shut up!" It's cute how her already-red face was getting even redder…

Her losses were many and she was getting frustrated, I imagine all the more so because she was the one who issued the challenge.

Finally she could take it no longer and set her racket down on the table. "Timeout!"

I thought to tease her a little bit more when I noticed her hands fiddling with the hem of her vest. Then, in one smooth motion, she slipped it off and over her head.

My body became like ice and I froze. What was this? Gah! She was… stripping? ! Even when she started unbuttoning her shirt, however, I couldn't do anything for myself. I just stood there gawking and not knowing why this was even happening. It was only when she peeled her shirt away and cast it aside did I come to my senses. The blinding white fabric of her bra was like a wake-up call.

"H-Hey!" I cried, blushing hard. "Wh-What're you doing, Eri? !"

She unzipped her skirt and it slid down her legs. Then as she was gathering up her clothes she explained, "This uniform is getting in my way and affecting my agility! I can't _move_ wearing this! Besides, it's getting hot. Do you have any idea how disgusting clothes can be when they're completely sweaty? They're like… ick!"

"Um… B-But…"

"Whew! Now this is a lot better! I should be able to win a few sets now, so go on and serve already."

No way. Don't tell me she was seriously going to play in only her bra and panties? !

The sight of her clad in nothing but snow-white underwear was… I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a beautiful sight to behold, and the sweat glistening on her skin made her toned body look even more erotic. But it overloaded my senses, and I crumpled to the floor, my nose spurting blood all over the floor.

"Neku!" she gasped. "You okay? ! Did the afternoon heat get to you so much that you got a nosebleed? !"

She scampered over to check on me, but caught her foot on one of the table legs and tripped, letting out a scream. There was a painful-sounding thud as she fell flat on the floor. In spite of my flowing nose, I sat up as quickly as I could manage and helped her up into a sitting position, so I could check to see if her face was alright.

"Eri, did you hurt yourself anywhere?"

"Ow…" She rubbed her cheek. "Think I grazed my face on the floor a little."

"L-Let me take a look."

I gently lifted her hand away from her cheek and peered closer, all the while telling myself over and over in my head that I was just checking up on her injuries. Eri was sitting very close to me, and that underwear of hers was all she was wearing. W-Well, big deal… r-r-right? I had no ulterior motives. Nope… I'm just an honest guy being a gentleman. Not going to peek at her body. Not gonna. Uh-uh. Not –

Suddenly, the door flung open. The two of us jumped at the intrusion of our unwelcome visitor. No! Being found in a delicate situation like this at school by a burly gorilla of a PE coach was not a good thing!

_I guess this is goodbye, my school life. It's been short, but…_

To my relief, the person standing in the doorway was no coach at all. It wasn't even a teacher! But to my even greater horror, it was _Shiki_. Whose eyes had grown to the size of car tyres.

Why did this have to happen? !

"Neku?" she stammered. "Eri too? Oh, uh…"

I went into panic mode and flayed my arms around trying to wave off whatever suspicions she was having. "I…! We… This is not… It's not what you think it is, Shiki! It really isn't!" Ah man, why did I have to say that? Not only was it clichéd, it was also the last thing people would buy! Eri tried to explain herself too, but Shiki's embarrassed stuttering effectively cut her off.

"I'm sorry, Neku, Eri! The two of you are in the middle of something… My bad! I didn't mean to interrupt you! P-Please carry on and don't mind me!" Then before we could do anything else, she whisked the door shut and was gone.

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri would later explain to Shiki the circumstances surrounding what the latter mistook as a tryst. Thanks to that we were let off the hook, and as an added bonus, my bubblegum-haired lunatic pal was smart enough to omit the details about the true reason behind it all. She just said that she felt like playing ping pong all of a sudden and happened to find a suitable opponent in me, so Shiki was blissfully unaware of my ulterior motive of dealing with my frustration.

Mind you, the incident as I described it just now was what I remembered. Naturally, Shiki had a different version of the events. It was better to leave it that way and I saw no need to correct her and fill her in…

In any case, it was a highly embarrassing incident that I'd rather put behind me, but time has a way of changing the way we look at things. For Shiki, what might have been shocking before was now merely a funny thing of the past. Something to chat about and laugh.

The conversation was peppered with her gentle laughter. "Eri clearly isn't one for the orthodox, huh?"

"You can say that again," I huffed, slowly relaxing. "She always does the craziest things. You don't know what she's capable of next."

"I know. When the situation calls for it, she would strip in front of me too. I'm practically used to it by now."

Seishirou-sama, butler extraordinaire, came over to our table with our order. Chocolate sundae for me, and something else for Shiki that was ice-cream-y and whose name I couldn't pronounce because it was too complex; you know how Italian words are. Our gallant butler gave us his heartfelt wishes that we would have an excellent meal and left. I expected to see the girls gushing in his wake, and I was right. Even Shiki was quite taken with him. Man! This Seishirou-sama character was probably on par in popularity with The Prince. The charm of butlers, huh? Who woulda thunk it? Anyway…

Shiki managed to shake herself loose from the mesmerising effect of Seishirou-sama to resume the conversation. "Well, at least she makes life more interesting! That's Eri for you. She's the type who comes and goes as she pleases. Ever the non-conformist."

"I can't disagree with you. She may have a screw loose here and there, but she's nice to have around."

Whoa… the sundae was good stuff. Shiki was enjoying her whatchamacallit just as much too. That smile of hers seemed to hint that there was more than just the ice-cream she was enjoying though…

"Say, Neku," she drawled cunningly. "What do you think of Eri?"

"H-Huh?"

"You heard me. You've developed a soft spot for her, haven't you? We girls can tell these things at a glance. Sooo… what's the story? Gonna gun for her?"

"I… Uh…" The cold ice-cream in my mouth couldn't cool down the heat in my cheeks. Caught off guard, all I could offer for a reply was, "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Don't be shy now! Almost everyone yearns for love at some point in their lives. I'm just curious to know how far the two of you have gone."

"Shiki," I spluttered, "th-this isn't really the kind of thing to ask so casually…"

"Come on. Weren't you my partner once? We're supposed to trust each other with even the most intimate of details, right? Are you going to deny me the pleasure of new knowledge even after we haven't seen each other for such a long time? Surely you can't be that mean!"

"N-No, of course not. But…"

"Besides, Eri's kinda like a sister to me. Of course I need to know if you've been, I dunno, taking advantage of her. Hee hee!"

"No way that's gonna happen! If… If anything, it's the other way arou – urk!"

Too late. She heard it, and she knew what I was about to say. She had a mouthful of ice-cream at that very moment and her surprise upon hearing me caused her to stop eating for a full five seconds. The way the spoon was stuck in her mouth was almost comical, but that aside… why did I have to lose my cool and blurt _that_ out? ! _What the heck is with that, me! ! !_

"W-Wow," she squeaked at last. "So you and Eri have that kind of relationship…"

"It's not like that! I mean, well… she may love to play pranks on me, but other than that, we're just friends. Ahaha… She can be more than just a handful though, and she has a habit of going overboard. But yeah, long story short, we're just good pals. That's… That's all we are."

"Mmm. Is that you say…?"

Shiki took another generous spoonful, bringing a rather awkward pause to the conversation and making me wonder if I should have answered differently. More importantly, what did she mean by that?

"Neku," she said, "I hope you don't find Eri's teasing too much of a hassle to deal with. That girl, she… well… The only reason she horses around with you so freely is because she regards you as a very good friend. She likes to tease all of her friends, but only those whom she is especially close with – like you and me – are subject to her special homespun brand of raunchy comedy."

I cocked my head slightly in curiosity. "Huh… Doesn't she joke around with Beat and Rhyme too?"

"Not quite as extreme as she does it with the two of us. You know, even though she was always known as a class clown, she only goes all-out with a select few people." This caused her to chuckle a little. "And since you're one of the lucky ones, congrats! It proves she likes you a lot."

This tidbit about Eri wasn't a shining revelation, and I kind of knew, honestly. But even so, hearing about it gave me a good feeling. Shiki was right: I _was_ a lucky guy.

She peered closer at my face as I going through it in my head absent-mindedly, and she giggled. "Heh heh. Your face is all red, Neku. I wonder why? Having Eri on your mind again, Romeo?"

"Huh? N-No… Are… Are you sure you're not colour-blind?"

"Wow, way to give a good excuse for being embarrassed! That's a first!"

I gulped. "I… I don't know what I should say to that…"

XOXOXOXOXO

The hour grew late, and the time had come to part ways. We had a nice long chat, catching up on each other's lives and reminiscing about our younger days as though we were a pair of old and wrinkled people.

"Thanks for the treat," I said. "I thought butler cafes were nothing but a gimmick, but it looks like they can sell some good stuff if they're really serious about it."

"So it looks you finally recognize the awesomeness of Seishirou-sama and his posse of butlers, eh?"

I gave a wry little laugh. "Shiki, uh… in case you forgot, I'm a guy."

"Ha ha ha!"

We walked along the bustling streets a little more until we came to a particular road and our chance meeting had to come to an end. She turned to me with a look that almost screamed "It's too bad we can't get to talk longer" and said, "Well, I gotta head home now. My place is down this road. Yours is further away, right? Thanks for walking me back, but I can take it from here."

"Are you sure? I can go on for a little longer, if you like." But she politely declined.

"Don't worry; I'll be fine. Heh heh… You've always been the type to watch out for others. Even during the Reapers' Game… Granted, it was only a short time we knew each other back then, but you really came through for me. That's pretty awesome of you, Neku."

"Stop it. Y-You're making me blush."

"Hee hee…"

"Alright, Shiki, I gotta go. Let's meet up again when we get the chance. Um… say hi to your boyfriend for me."

"Huh? Oh! Um…"

"Hmm?" I grew a little puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"Neku, see… Actually, I forgot to mention something."

Shiki scratched her cheek with a finger, hesitating to speak. Because she was talking to me so normally, I couldn't imagine anything out of the ordinary. Maybe she just wanted to thank me again for spending time with her or something. Or maybe she wanted to keep drooling about Seishirou-sama.

What I never thought she would say was, "Actually, you might have misunderstood me earlier. Actually, my boyfriend and I, we… We broke up."

What? For real? Wasn't she on really good terms with him? The last time I met her, they were very much in love and would even sneak in the occasional lovey-dovey gesture here and there when they thought people weren't looking (which was never true). I wondered what exactly happened between them.

"I thought you said earlier you're still with him… So you ended your relationship with The Boyfriend?"

Shiki furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "'The Boyfriend'… I-Is that what you actually call him?"

Whoops! "Oh, sorry… I didn't actually catch his name when we met." Yeah, I remember how that went… I still liked Shiki back then, and when I found out she had found herself a guy, I was so aghast that my mind blanked out during the friendly introductions.

Luckily for me, she didn't take my social blunder too badly. "It's fine, Neku. He and I… Things started to not work out between us too soon, and one day we decided it'd be best if we went our separate ways. So we did just that. It was about a month ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Shiki."

She shook her head with a smile, as if to mean 'Don't worry about it'. "It's not over for me. There's still a lot in life to enjoy! I'll be alright, Neku. I mean, look, I'm already all recovered. See?" It was great to see her bounce back and even manage a giggle. Just what I'd expect from strong-willed Shiki. I was glad for her.

"I'll be sure to find someone better!" she said, flowing with enthusiasm. "So… how about it, Neku? Wanna be that someone?"

"Eh? !" What… What did she just say? !

"Ha ha ha!" The slap to my arm that she gave me brought the much-needed jolt back to my senses. "I was joking, Neku! I wouldn't be so insincere as to treat you as a stopgap to my love life. I'd have to be mean to do that."

"Uh… right… um…"

The way she was giggling sounded more girlish than usual… almost like she was… flirting. "Plus, Eri will hate me if I take you from right under her nose."

"Whoa, what? ! Sh-Shiki, didn't I say just now that there's no such development between us? !"

"Heh… Denial only reinforces suspicions, you know? You'd do well to remember that! Although it probably makes no difference now that I'm quite sure of the truth myself."

"Ngh…"

XOXOXOXOXO

That night, I lay in bed tossing and turning and generally not getting in any decent amount of sleep. Midnight had just crawled past, but here I was still wrestling with my own mind over two things: the hidden meaning that Shiki's words might contain, and whether her singlehood was of any real significance to me or not.

Amongst all of the overthinking and unnecessary analysis, I was also agonizing over how I had Eri as my newfound crush and that I was already over Shiki. I was aiming to solidify Eri as my girlfriend, so what was I doing thinking so much about Shiki? !

No doubt we were still friends… And over the years that I knew her, she's grown prettier and even more interesting to talk to. I found her attractive back in school even when she was still a plain Jane, but it appeared that now she was doing her best to be more trendy and outgoing. Maybe her past relationship had something to do with her metamorphosis. Just look at her now and tell me she isn't cute –

Wait! Maybe… Maybe I was feeling this way about Shiki because deep inside, I hadn't completely given up on her? ! Were these lingering feelings for her that were resurfacing from inside my heart?

Gah… No! Of course not… How stupid of me for that thought to even cross my mind!

I was confused! But… But it's so obvious that Eri's the only one for me… right?

By the way, I felt like I was missing out on something else. Something that had been buried at the back of my mind. It was bugging me, but I didn't know what it was. I did get the feeling that it used to give me one heck of a mental workout thinking about it, though.

…Oh! Now I recalled. All this stuff about Shiki almost made me forget about the mystery surrounding Eri's part-time job! What was she working as?

As my thoughts about Eri being a bartender doing double duty as a pole dancer bordered on the nightmarish, I spent another few hours awake in bed. You can imagine the effect it had on my concentration the next day at college.


	18. Neku's Choice

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 18)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Eri's reply over the phone came as a massive disappointment.

"Neku, I'm sorry I can't come with." I could almost imagine her rubbing the back of her neck as she said that. "I've got an assignment due at half past four this afternoon. I'm actually still on campus right now rushing to get it done."

"Oh, okay. And afterwards is still a no-go, huh?"

"Yeah, sorry. I've got my part-time work. Wednesdays till Saturdays, 5 to 10 pm, remember?"

"I haven't forgotten," I sighed dejectedly. "It's too bad, but it looks like our date will have to wait."

"Hey now, at least it's not the end of the world! I'm free on Sunday. We can have the whole day to enjoy ourselves and go nuts. Sound cool?"

"Cool," I said, cheering up. "Sunday it is."

"Hee hee. We'll work the details out later, but for now, I gotta rush. Busy busy, chop chop!"

"Then good luck, Eri. You're going to need it."

"Pfft. What's that supposed to mean?"

And thus endeth our conversation.

I almost wished I had homework myself. What's a guy with plenty of free time and no date to do? There's only so much music I could listen to and whatever books were in my possession I had read over and over till the pages were frayed. The internet was looking pretty dull today with nothing to see, and I had long grown out of Tin Pin (who plays Tin Pin alone anyway?). And Mr Hanekoma had told me earlier that WildKat would be closed today because of some important business, so heading there was out of the question too.

Man… I was so bored!

If nothing else, perhaps a walk around the city might reveal something interesting. If I still had my Player Pin, I might just be able to easily spend an hour scanning people's minds to see how crazy they could be and, well… maybe I would have a good laugh about it.

I didn't have many friends whom I could hang out with comfortably, and I didn't wish to bother Uzuki and Kariya, who were probably busy. If I wasn't so much of a hermit I might just be able to gather up a posse of pals and have some fun –

Wait a sec! How about… Shiki?

Things certainly weren't going to be awkward anymore now that I was over her, right? Even if Eri and I were closer, what's wrong with chilling downtown with Shiki? We'd be like two cool guys having "bro time" in the city! Except she's not a guy, so it wouldn't be "bro time"… Not the most fitting analogy, I know…

So anyway, why not. I gave her a call, and what do you know… not only was the girl elated to hear from me again, she also had a nice chunk of free time in her schedule.

"Tea and a movie?" She sounded delighted. "Awesome. I was hoping to talk to you more… There're lots of old times to catch up on!"

"I like the sound of that, too. So where do we meet up?"

A short bark of girlish laughter rang in my ear. "Of course it has to be at the Statue of Hachiko! It's practically our hangout place before we all went to college. Don't tell me you've forgotten?"

Ah…

That's right. When I met Shiki for the first time, it was there. Me and her, and our buddies Beat and Rhyme… Eri too. In some way or other, this was a special place that was connected to all of us. And… during days long in the past, whenever Shiki and I wanted to go somewhere to chill, that was where we would meet up. The Statue of Hachiko became such a standard gathering spot for us that we didn't even need to ask where to meet. Just confirm the time, and we're good to go.

Times have changed, and somewhere along the way in life, well, I guess I forgot about the good old bronze dog. I'm sorry, Hachiko…

"I must have misplaced that memory," I said, "temporarily of course. Sorry."

"Heh heh… don't worry about it. So… I'll be there in fifteen. Is that good?"

"It's super. Be seeing you."

And that's that. I wouldn't be staring at the ceiling this afternoon, that's for sure. Shiki's not my romantic interest now, but she's still my friend. Her personality isn't anywhere near as bold or extreme as Eri's, but it didn't make her any less interesting. Shiki is like a demure garden salad, while Eri is akin to a spicy, tongue-tingling chili dog. They taste quite different, but both are delicious.

…Ugh, really? I just sounded like a pervert. All I can say is… I'm not a pro at this analogy stuff.

XOXOXOXOXO

Where was she?

Here I was at the Statue of Hachiko but Shiki was a no-show. Few appreciated the virtue of punctuality as much as I did, and while I could tolerate her lifelong habit of arriving at meetings five minutes late, there was never a time where I had to wait this long. It's almost close to half an hour now.

Surely she couldn't have chosen to stand me up? That'd be cruel, and I knew she wasn't like that. Luckily I was right. She galloped over soon enough to smash my very unlikely theory to pieces.

"Neku, there you are!" she gasped, clutching onto my shoulder for support. It was obvious she had been running. "Sorry for the wait! I took too long getting dolled up."

I was not angry in the very least. "Shiki, glad to see you made – " My sentence froze in the middle.

"What's… What's wrong?"

Whoa, was this really Shiki I was looking at? For someone who was taking a degree in fashion design, she preferred to wear clothes that were nice and simple. Her wardrobe was considerably flashier today, however. The trendy sweater was normal enough, but hot pants on a chilly autumn day? Nice legs though. She also traded her giant glasses for a pair of sexy rectangular lenses. And that lip gloss gleamed so appetizingly.

No, wait! So she changed her look a bit. Don't girls love to do that? I wasn't the type of guy to fall so easily to the charm of a makeover.

"Is there something on my face, Neku?"

"N-No, you look great. The clothes and… such."

She beamed widely. "I thought I might try something different. If an aspiring fashion designer doesn't try on her own clothes even once, wouldn't that be pretty strange?"

My eyes went wide. "Those clothes you're wearing… you made those? ! Holy – Did you design them yourself too?"

"Yup! I usually get Eri to do the brainy stuff, since I'm no good at it most of the time. But I've had a streak of good ideas that I simply couldn't leave to waste. And here they are."

I was filled with awe. "That's amazing. You could open a shop with threads like that."

"You flatter me too much," she said, obviously loving the praise. "Alright! Enough about me. We're not too late for the six o'clock show, are we?"

"We aren't exactly cutting it close, but we should get a move on either way."

We took a brisk walk to the nearest cinema, talking about everything. I noticed that she had become a lot chattier and much more outgoing than before, even risking the occasional saucy joke that Eri was a master at. Did her previous relationship have anything to do with her change in personality? Now don't get me wrong, change is always good, except…

Nah, maybe I was imagining things. Or maybe not?

XOXOXOXOXO

How… How did it turn out like this?

Upon arrival at the cinema, I realized just how strange fate could turn out. The only movies that were being shown were of two types: horror flicks, and R-rated romance films with gratuitous love scenes.

Gah! Both were bad choices. Supposing I went for 'Moonlit Lagoon', wouldn't things get awfully squeamish between us when the part about the hero and heroine jumping into bed came up? But the other film sounded so frightening, I swore I might just wet my pants watching! I mean, heck, it was 'The Haunted Village II', the sequel of the movie I hated so much! Also, it was pretty bad for a guy to take a girl to a scary movie. Leaving her with nightmares instead of happy memories was not the way for a gentleman to go about things.

Between the devil and the deep blue sea… What's a guy like me to pick? !

Maybe I should strike for a 'no deal' thing. "Whoa, these films… they're kind of unsuitable, huh? Ahaha… Shiki, perhaps we should go grab some grub instead – "

"Hmmm… 'The Haunted Village II' sounds good."

"Eh?"

"My friends were talking about it the other day, so I've been meaning to take a look." Why was her smile so sweet when she's talking about something so horrible? ! "What do you say, Neku?"

"W-Well, it's a horror film," I gulped. "Is it really such a good idea?"

She covered her mouth to stifle her chuckles but it was obvious that she wasn't really trying and that she wanted to poke fun at me. "Are you scared?"

"Yeah. I don't like 'em."

"Wow, really? And here I was hoping you'd deny your fears and say 'I'm not afraid!' and we'd end up watching it. Then you'd be trembling in your seat like a bowl of jelly. Hee hee… I didn't expect you to admit it so readily!"

"Shiki, life isn't as clichéd as you might think…"

"It can't be helped, then. Let's choose something else. Ooh… 'Moonlit Lagoon'?"

"Buh? !"

"I've read the reviews for this film. All the critics unanimously said that the scene where the hero and heroine consummate their love on the beach is very – "

Date or not, friend or relative, it's simply not done taking a girl out to watch such films! No self-respecting gentleman in his right mind would do such a thing. You'd have to be a disgusting, flea-ridden deviant to even consider the possibility. I couldn't bring myself to harm her chastity by exposing her to these kinds of elements. But then it would leave me no choice but to face my inner demons head on.

"Neku, would 'Moonlit Lagoon' be a – "

I grabbed her shoulder urgently. "I have a sudden craving for the supernatural, so I think 'The Haunted Village II' would be splendid."

"Huh? But… you said that you don't like scary movies."

"A guy can't stay scared of things like that forever, r-right?"

She must have found my change of heart peculiar, but didn't pay it much mind. "If you say so. I'm sure we'll have a good time!"

And when we sat down to bask in the horror that was 'The Haunted Village II', I knew this was a decision I was bound to regret. Chivalry was one of my best points and I was proud of it, but having to pay a price for doing the right thing was a part of life that was hard to stomach.

XOXOXOXOXO

Ninety minutes of scares and gruesome special effects later, Shiki and I emerged from the cinema with the knowledge that tonight, we wouldn't be getting any sleep. Of course we wouldn't. The vengeful ghost from the film would be coming for us, and we had to keep watch in case it came to take our souls away. Even if there's something weird in the neighbourhood, who're we gonna call, anyway?

"Terrifying," mumbled Shiki, who was as white as a sheet.

I fared no better. "That was crazy stuff." My body had the consistency of jelly.

"L-Let's not watch stuff like that again."

"Agreed. Dinner?"

"Th-That'd be nice right about now, thanks."

If anything good came out of this, it was that we learned a valuable lesson: if you're not a fan of things that go bump in the night, then don't watch horror flicks, plain and simple! But Eri would have reacted differently, gushing about the final scene with the ghost munching on the heroine's dead body and how gloriously brutal – and fun – it was. Nothing can topple the invincible Eri.

At least dinner was a welcome respite from the terror. Shiki's recommendation of a noodle shack down the street was spot-on. The seafood ramen they sold was their main attraction and it was suitably so: it tasted great. The cosy ambience reminded us of home. We were simple people at heart who loved the occasional break from the hustle and bustle of Shibuya. I made a mental note to bring Eri here next time I got the chance.

I had a fun time with Shiki. The girl was a talkative one.

"Really, Neku?" She was almost tempted to slap her knee in laughter.

"Yeah," I chortled. "I thought I could sneak my way through. I even took a detour in the nurse's office to hide for a bit. When I made it to the staff room, the teacher wasn't there. Here I was thinking how lucky I was to be able to get out of this ordeal unscathed. But then…"

"But then what?"

"As I was leaving, thinking about how I would boast about it to Beat, I bumped into my teacher. Right at the doorway."

"Seconds before your successful escape!" She fell apart in a mess of giggles. "That's what you get for completing your homework late, Neku."

"I was a big idiot back then. I don't procrastinate that often nowadays, that's for sure. Make sure you don't, 'kay, Shiki?"

"What makes you think I'm like you?"

This was turning out to be a very fun evening. I was glad I got in touch with her!

When the laughter slowed down and we got to chatting some more, I noticed she was looking pointedly at me, as though scrutinizing my facial features.

"Shiki? What's up?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she reached out with a hand and dabbed my cheek with her finger before swiftly popping it into her mouth. There was a sharp smacking sound as she pulled it clean from her lips. The action confused me more than anything else, but when she gave her reason…

"You got ramen sauce on your face. I wiped it off though."

…I began to blush rapidly. Don't _lovers_ do that? !

The thought didn't occur to her, apparently. She acted like nothing big had happened. In fact, after seeing my red face, she thought it fun to tease me.

"You blush so easily, Neku," she drawled. "You've been like that ever since forever. Nice to know some things never change!"

"I didn't… You just surprised me."

"If it's Eri, you'd probably offer your cheek to her."

"Wh-What? ! No, I wouldn't…!"

Shiki's mirth couldn't drip any thicker. "Teasing you is so much fun. No wonder she does that a lot. I guess it gives her a sort of high."

I groaned, defeated. "She treats me like a guinea pig for her jokes."

"Hey now, it's not such a bad thing! She gives you a whole lot of attention that way, right?"

"Maybe too much. What she does is harmless at least… if more embarrassing than it should."

"You're more accepting of her pranks than you claim. Gives a whole new meaning to the whole master-and-slave relationship concept, don't you think?"

I didn't know what to say to that, except a weird-sounding, "…Th-The ramen is, um, good."

"Desperate to change the topic, are we? Ha ha ha! You got it, cap'n!"

I began to notice that something was markedly different about Shiki's behaviour. And before anyone thinks it's due to the effects of alcohol, I must point out that we ordered water and orange juice. She could joke around just as well as anyone else, but the intensity of her teasing was more than what I thought possible for her. Normally, if I had a spot of sauce on my face, she'd point it out to me or wipe it off with a handkerchief. She certainly wouldn't dab it off and lick it from her finger, and in public at that.

Was this a sign of something? Or maybe it meant nothing at all?

"Oh gosh, look at the time," she gulped, eyes to the clock on the wall nearby. "It's so late already!"

"Half past nine… damn. I've never been out this late myself. Kinda refreshing though."

"Neku! Um… Could I ask you for a teensy weensy favour?"

"I don't mind. What about it?"

"Ehehe… Er… when I rushed to meet you earlier, I passed by a store. There was this cute little thing I'd been meaning to buy, and – "

I knew where this was going, but I wasn't one to refuse a request for help from a lady friend, especially one as close as Shiki. Shopping for clothes didn't leave a very nice impression on me as of late, though. Remember the last time we did, and I discovered she had a boyfriend back then and got heartbroken? Ho yeah, good memory (I'm being sarcastic).

The next time after that was with Eri, who went out with me out of pity. Everything seemed to go reasonably well – as far as things with Eri go anyway – but then she caught sight of her now ex-boyfriend from a distance and the trouble began. Fearing terrible repercussions for both of us, she went into hiding in the nearest fitting room together with me. She was clad in this erotic-looking thing with straps and strings, and the confined area we were trapped in practically forced her to press up against me with that amazing… flexible… scantily-clad body of –

"Neku!" yelped Shiki. "You've got a nosebleed. Take these tissues and plug it up, quick! The blood's gonna get into your ramen!"

Too late. I wasn't fast enough. The red stuff swirling in my gravy was kind of fascinating to watch, though.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Ooh, this one's simply adorable!"

"Um, Shiki?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I got the impression that you wanted to buy some clothes…"

"That's what I'm doing, right? Oh, but I _am_ thankful that you agreed to come with!"

I plucked at my collar, and the heat just gushed out. "…but why bikinis?"

A guy like me in the women's swimwear section… I was the one sore thumb sticking out. What must all the other female customers be thinking of me? Would the ones who were none the wiser think that I was fueling a hobby of collecting bikinis, or that I was a cross-dressing pervert? Oh well, at least it wasn't the women's _underwear_ section. That would really get me plastered with the "weirdo" label.

"I know what you're thinking, Neku," said Shiki matter-of-factly. "See, it's autumn, and now that swimsuits are out of season, they're really cheap. Supply and demand, you know?"

"R-Right… Makes sense."

She sniggered. "Why? Did you think I was going to brave the autumn cold in…" – she whipped off a random bikini from the shelf – "…this little number?"

"Oh, uh…" Did she just pick _that_ bikini? That was one of the daring ones – just four triangles of cloth held together by flimsy strings! The kind that got men's blood pumping. The kind that only those with a good figure can wear with confidence. The kind that was prone to unraveling at the least opportune moments to reveal, so to speak, great bounties for the world to see. Surely shy little Shiki wouldn't be so brave as to wear that? ! Don't get me wrong, she's pretty and has a nice body, but…

"Earth to Neku," she called. "Ho ho… Do I sense your imagination at work here? Were you actually wondering how I look like in this?"

Her naughty words brought me back to earth with a hard thump. How… How could she say things like that? Eri I could understand, but… Shiki? It was so hard to believe so suddenly, I'd need a sledgehammer to wedge the very fact into my skull. A heavy one. Like one of those 50 ton ones seen in the cartoons.

"I… I wouldn't do something like that… Well, maybe a little, BUT I DON'T MEAN ANYTHING BY – "

Too late. The air was clogged with her laughter and she wouldn't stop. "At least you're a normal guy with normal thoughts! That's always good, ha ha ha! If anything, I'd be more worried if you didn't."

"W-Wait… It…"

It's funny how girls can switch topics in the blink of an eye. She quickly ignored my spluttering and took a long look at the swimsuit she was holding, muttering almost to herself, "Hmmm… Maybe I should try this one. If it fits I'll have something nice to wear next summer." Her face lit up like she just got a great idea, and turned to me. "We could invite everyone to the beach and enjoy ourselves and, well, be one whole gang again!"

"Huh? Hey, you're right. Been a while since the five of us got together."

"Yeah… Eri's sure to say yes, and once we secure Beat and Rhyme…"

"…all that's left is us and the five of us will be back together. Alright…" I began to smile myself. "…I'm liking this plan."

Shiki got back to pulling my chain again. "You just want to see us girls in swimsuits. I mean, that's fine, except Beat will probably throttle you for staring at his sis for too long, so you might wanna be careful."

"Wh-Why would I… with Rhyme?"

"Oh, that's right. You've already got Eri. Hee hee!"

"Shiki!" Gah!

"I think I'll try this one on now. Wait for me a bit, yeah?"

"Huh? H-Hey, wh-what happened to this conversation – " She didn't even wait for me to talk back and went inside one of the fitting rooms.

What was this feeling I couldn't shake off? Shiki's having fun tormenting me with her endless jokes, and while any other guy would enjoy her company, I felt like something didn't quite fit. In fact, I felt this way the whole afternoon; I just wasn't that aware of it until now. Making light fun of others was okay, but she was…

…It just didn't feel like her to be like this. Definitely not the usual Shiki I knew from high school.

If my gut was anything to go by, I think I knew what she was trying to do. And I'd have to ask her about it. Because I was her friend.

"Ooh, it looks nice!" she could be heard saying from inside. "Fits great too. Hey Neku, wanna take a peek?"

"Wha…? !"

"Whoops! I forgot you can be shy, hee hee! I'll send you a pic then."

"Th-That's not it!"

Oh my god… this really wasn't like her.

XOXOXOXOXO

Never believe a girl when she claims that she'll do "only a wee bit of shopping". They're all lies frosted with sugar and spice.

Look at Shiki; she's a prime example of how true this rule of thumb rings. One bikini wasn't enough for her. Her voracious appetite would soon make her go predator on a maillot, a skirt, two pairs of jeans, and a cropped jacket. So much for moderation! I even had to help share the load of shopping bags with her as I accompanied her back home, and all the while having to endure her silly little jokes and recalling the more mortifying incidents involving me and Eri.

At one point I got a little fed up, and asked why she liked to ask me about my strawberry-haired friend. Her reply seemed reasonable enough, if logically skewed.

"Eri's been my best friend for so long she's like a sister. Anyone would be concerned about what their dear siblings are up to, right?"

The whole time I was with her today, the feeling eating away at me wouldn't quit. Shiki was different somehow, but it wasn't right and I was very much convinced that it was so.

I had to set things straight with her.

She took the shopping bags from my hands when we reached her apartment. At the doorstep we lingered, exchanging small talk. But eventually I had to leave. Before that, though, there was something I had to confirm…

"Neku," she said, "thanks for going out with me."

"I should be saying that. It's thanks to you I had a wonderful time."

"Don't mention it! Oh… will you be alright heading home, though? It's pretty dark and scary around these parts. And… we did watch 'The Haunted Village II'."

My body became sheathed in cold sweat when I instantly recalled how the film had a particularly harrowing scene where the ghost was chasing one of the supporting characters. The hapless girl (the supporting character, not the ghost) was running for her life in the rain, but her pursuer always seemed to be a mere step away. And then, tragically but almost inevitably, she tripped and met her grisly demise at the hands of the maggot-infested phantom.

I gave a grunt that was a mix of fright and indignation. "Kuh! J-Just when I was hoping to forget all about it…"

"Oops, my bad! Sorry!"

"Y-You don't sound very sorry…"

"Ha ha ha! You could always ask Eri for a bedtime story if sleep is proving difficult!"

That last Eri-centric joke was the prompt I needed to start my interrogation. I didn't want to have to do this to a perfectly nice girl, but it had to be done. Not only for my sake, but more importantly for hers as well. Drawing the wrong conclusion about here would be bad, but… _here goes nothing._

"Shiki," I said cautiously, "can I ask you something? It's a bit touchy, so I hope you don't mind."

She hesitated for a half-second, but otherwise retained her cheery disposition. "Sure. We're friends."

I wondered if she would be offended by what I was planning to say, or have her spirit crushed to a pulp. But cruel as it may sound, it was the only way I could be sure of the truth. So I said it.

"Shiki, by any chance… Are you trying to be Eri again?"

The smile on her face melted away fast. I knew this would happen, but it still made me feel very bad. And the small quiver in her voice made me feel all the more so.

"What? Wh-What're you talking about, Neku? I don't get it one bit, ahaha…"

"I noticed that you weren't acting yourself."

She spluttered in defense, "N-No, I'm me. What're you talking about? I'm all… good." The girl was starting to cave in. Sorry, Shiki…

"But the Shiki I know isn't the type to bombard me with kinky jokes, like how you said I wondered how you would look in a bikini, or when you offered to let me take a look at you when you were wearing it. And it looked like you were trying too hard to be funny, because whenever you joke around with me normally, it was never so prolonged. Your jokes about me and Eri in particular were rather… repetitive."

Her lips parted, like she was going to protest, but she backed down quickly and let me finish. I had just one last nail to hammer on the head.

"Besides, you were never a fan of hot pants. Or bikinis."

"N-Neku," she murmured, "could you come inside for a bit? I'll tell you everything. That, and um… I need to put the bags inside, and it's cold out."

"Okay."

And so I wound up in her apartment, the two of us sipping tea. The silence was deafening. Looking at her sad face clawed away at my insides, made me bleed. I didn't want to put people in a corner if I could help it.

"Shiki? Um, ready to talk?"

She wasn't going to burst into tears any time soon, but she looked hurt and very, very defeated. "You're… You're not wrong, Neku, about what you said. I _was_ trying to be like Eri."

"But why?"

"I got jealous of her again."

"J-Jealous?"

Her downcast eyes were focused on her cup of tea, not looking at me. "Neku, I never forgot about when we were working together during the Reapers' Game. I wanted to become like her because I felt she was so much better than me at lots of things, and that's when you told me to snap out of it and get back to my old self. Thanks to you, I've been able to live a fuller life. As myself. But I'm sorry… It looks like my envy has reared its ugly head again."

I approached the matter cautiously. "Did something happen?"

"Not exactly." Shiki tucked a lock of wayward hair behind her ear. "But Eri's always talking about you."

"Me?" Did my heart just jolt a bit? I wanted to know what she said to Shiki, but was careful not to sound too eager. "She didn't say anything strange, did she?"

"She always tells me how weird and awkward you are…" – oof! – "…how you're prone to getting nosebleeds…" – ouch! – "…and that whenever you get a nosebleed, the whole place becomes a mess…" – gah!

Not exactly what I wanted to hear. But then there was a silver lining.

"However," continued Shiki, "she also says that you're very kind to her, that you always give it your all in everything, that you make a fantastic cook, and that, out of all the guys in the whole wide world… you're her favourite."

R-Really? Eri thought of me like that? Eri liked me _that_ much? This was the best thing I'd ever heard in my life! …Except the nosebleed part. But heck, this was marvelous.

The ghost of Shiki's smile grew a little wider. "Don't tell her I told you though, 'kay? She meant it to be a secret."

"Oh, um, right."

"Anyway, a lot of things changed when our gang graduated from high school. We all went down different paths in life. Beat and Rhyme went to Nagoya, I moved here to commute to my college easier, and… you and Eri got closer than ever before. But you've always been a great guy, which is the one thing I'm glad did not change. Now that she knows you better she gets to see this part of you more often, and…" Her expression was softer and even hinted that she was cheering up. "…if she thinks this highly of you, well, I just had to see for myself how much cooler you've grown since, well, a long time ago."

Huh? "Th-Then…"

"You know, I miss the old days when we were still buddies, spending each day happily, walking together elbow-to-elbow, snacking on ice-cream and sweet potatoes. It's sad that we've drifted apart, but… c'est la vie." The sigh coming from her was melancholy. "So even if it's just a little bit, I wanted to have a taste of the intimacy we used to have, that you now share with Eri."

I started to understand the gist of what was going on. "And that's why you behaved like her today?"

"Bingo. In hopes that you'd treat me like you do with her, I acted all bubbly and super-cute… I tried my hand at that unique, sexy brand of humour she's so fond of using… And these hot pants… I know it's crazy to wear them when the climate's so cold in the autumn but I simply wanted you to notice me.

"Still, it's no use." She rattled off a self-deprecating laugh. "You saw through my tricks. You're too smart for me, Neku."

Shiki wasn't to blame for acting the way she did. It was all me.

"I'm sorry, Shiki," I said, squeezing her shoulder. "It's my fault I didn't keep in touch. I could blame it on coursework and tight schedules but I know it's just an excuse. I still regard you as a good friend and it'd be cool if we could hang out more often, just like old times. What do you think?"

Her speech faltered, like she was distracted. "Of… Of course I'm up for it. We missed out on so much during the past semester or two that it's almost ridiculous. It's too bad we can't do much about Beat and Rhyme, but at least you and Eri are here, so we can get together again. I say that's pretty great! …On another note, hmmm…"

More to say? I graciously gave her time. And then slowly, she mumbled, "I'm glad that you still think of me as a friend, but by any chance, might you think of me as something more?"

"Huh?"

A moment of hesitation ensued, but she quickly pulled herself together and wore a look on her face that screamed "This is it. No turning back now!" Could it be that she was going to say… _that?_

Seriously? ! No way… For real? !

But it _was_ real! And she said it!

"Neku… I love you."

I couldn't believe it. Shiki actually just said that she was in love with me. Was I hearing things? Were my ears playing tricks on me? Was I on _Punk'd_? !

The answer to all of those questions was a resounding no. She definitely said those three timeless words. And she repeated them once more for good measure.

"I love you. Neku, I really mean it. Oh, and could you listen to a little story I have to tell? It's a bit long, but I must say it."

"Huh? Oh… sure." I was so stunned that my mouth just ran on autopilot. But seriously, to have a girl admit her love to me – and it was Shiki at that – it was my longtime dream come true at last. My mind was still swirling around like it was on spin cycle, so it was just as well that I took a break from thinking and listened to her.

"Even when we were in high school," she said, "you were always on my mind. I would always think about how best to confess to you. But I found your unpredictable personality imposing, and I didn't want us to be apart because I picked the wrong moment to tell you about my feelings, so I kept putting off my confession.

"As luck would have it, I took too long, and before I knew it, we were fresh high school graduates entering college for the first time. Funny what a lack of physical closeness can do. You and I took classes in different institutions, so we hardly ever met up, and our friendship kinda… thinned out."

I muttered, "Sorry… I should've been more wary of my own life."

She shook her head kindly. "Let bygones be bygones, Neku. I'm not blaming you for anything. Anyway, seeing as how we were no longer as close as I hoped we could be, I began to seriously doubt that I would ever get a chance to go steady with you. And then, I met him."

"Him?"

"My… Well, he's my _ex_-boyfriend now." Ah… The Boyfriend, huh? On her brow was a nearly invisible frown, suggesting that while she didn't really want to dredge up her past, she also knew that for her story to be complete, she had spill all the metaphorical beans, expired and tasteless as they may be.

I let her continue, "First semester in and I was feeling real down and kicking myself for not acting sooner. When he came into my life and expressed a genuine interest in me, I decided to take the chance knowing that if I didn't grab it like before with you, I would definitely regret it. So I went out with him.

"Funny story though… Even when I was dating him, I could never get you out of my head. You were too important for me to just toss aside. I mean, I hoped to forget about my failures by getting myself a boyfriend, but ironically, it didn't work. He and I had some fun times, sure, but eventually even he noticed our relationship just wasn't working out the way he hoped it would."

"So you broke up?"

"Yes." She reached for both of my hands and clasped them in hers. "Because there's no one I want to be with but you. And I'm dead serious."

Whoa… Shiki had quite a history. I never knew. Everything was so much to take in all at once, but none stood out more than the fact that she had been in love with me all this time. Our similarities were uncanny – we liked each other since school, we had trouble expressing our true feelings, and at some point, we found romance elsewhere.

I felt her fingers clench tighter around mine. Her face was deep red, but she was trying her best to maintain eye contact.

"Neku," she reiterated, "I love you. Will… Will you be my boyfriend?"

To be perfectly honest, I was happy. For so many years I had been hoping to hear those words from her. Now that I finally did, I felt like the chapter on my long-unrequited love could finally come to a close.

She was waiting for my answer with bated breath, and I didn't want to keep her waiting. I had to make sure I said it right.

I said softly, "Thank you…"

Her eyes widened slightly.

"…but I'm sorry, Shiki. I can't return your feelings."

The expression on her face was plain and unchanging, but it didn't take chicken brains to know that she was disappointed. It's the eyes. You can tell from a person's eyes what she's feeling.

Damn… I really hated to make girls sad. Just wasn't my style.

That's why I had to give her credit for appearing to stay strong. It's not possible to completely transform your face from a sad one to a nonchalant and normal one, but she tried. She even bravely put on a smile.

"I see," she said. "Ehe… Actually, I had a feeling you'd say that. I knew you'd say no, but I just went ahead with it because I didn't want to have any regrets. I didn't want to slog through life knowing that I never even tried."

Ugh, what should I say? I was no good at this. I've never received a confession of love in my life, so it was doubly hard when I had a reject one. This wasn't the kind of thing that happened everyday, so I had not the slightest idea what words would be appropriate. Like a fool, I stayed silent.

She let go of my hands slowly. "Neku… Even if you can't have a relationship with me, I happy that you're still my friend."

"Sorry, Shiki. I do care about you, but the person that I love is… uh…" Again I was stuck. Should I be ambiguous and say "someone else" to be tactful, or be up front about it and tell her that I loved Eri? Man, love is complicated.

But it was blissfully unnecessary. "I know who it is," she said. "Take care of Eri, okay? She's a handful, but she's a good girl at heart."

"H-Huh? !" The sweat just poured off of me in waves. "Wait… Eri isn't – "

Apparently, watching me get all flustered amused her and she even managed to giggle a bit. "I wouldn't choke the truth out of you. What's important is that you love her. And if you really do, don't wait."

"Don't… wait?"

She left it at that, saying, "You know what I'm talking about. Good luck, Neku."

XOXOXOXOXO

The walk back home was slow and long, but it was fine. A lot had happened today, and I needed to chew the cud.

I never knew… Shiki had been in love with me. All these years, she had harboured a desire for us to be a couple, but because she was afraid that her heart would be crushed in the event that I refused, she kept her secret locked up. I was much the same way.

Here's some food for thought: what would happen if, years ago in school, the confession was successful and I went out with Shiki? For starters, we would have been very close to each other, and our relationship might have survived up till this day. But then – and here's the scary part – Eri would practically be _out of the picture_.

The myriad experiences that I've shared with her – the dates; her endless teasing; the cooking lessons; our growing skinship and all the hugs she gave me; her wardrobe malfunctions, deliberate or otherwise; heck, even all the nosebleeds I suffered at her hands… None of that would have happened had I taken the first step with Shiki. Eri might have been just another good friend of mine. We wouldn't have made "the most awesome team".

I wouldn't have fallen in love with Eri!

It chills the spine how a small decision early on can influence the future in big ways.

I can say this much: I am a fortunate guy to have had feelings for Shiki, but right now, I'm even luckier to have Eri as a love interest. Life can take unexpected turns, like how I have Eri in my sights now rather than Shiki, but it's fine, even if it's a little strange and twisted. At least there are no regrets.

So I mustn't wait. Next chance I got, I would definitely tell Eri those magic words.

My determination was renewed and reinforced. I still felt bad for Shiki, but promised myself – and her too – that when Eri got herself her next boyfriend it would be the best darn boyfriend ever. Me.

That aside, who was that person standing outside my doorstep? I caught sight of him as I was nearing my apartment. He was pressing on the doorbell and rapping the front door but to no avail.

As I walked up the steps to my unit and approached the stranger I hailed him and he took notice. "Excuse me. Do you need something?"

The man turned to look at me and that was when I got a better view of him. He was around my height, perhaps one or two inches shorter. His unassuming dress sense was outshone by miles by his beautiful features; behind a pair of glasses he had a handsome face. He could have hopped right out of a comic book.

His eyes lit up when he saw me. "Ah! It's you!"

He looked strangely familiar for a reason that I would figure out in a second. "You… Aren't you Seishirou-sama? That butler guy?"

"Why, yes. I am one of the butlers at _Tea & Orange_." That was the butler café that Shiki and I visited not too long ago, and he was the very person she and pretty much the entire female population of Shibuya was so fixated with, almost as badly as The Prince. "I remember you as one of our customers."

"What brings you here?"

"Forgive me for bothering you at this late hour. But there is something I simply must discuss with you posthaste."

Huh? What could a butler possibly want with me? The answer to that, however, would have to be explained on another day…


	19. I Really Like You

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 19)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Seishirou-sama, the most renowned butler in Shibuya, was standing outside my front door and he had business with me, but what kind?

The guy himself was an enigma. Even when his shift was over (it should be; it was almost 11 pm) and he had changed out of that stifling-looking butler uniform, his mannerisms never faltered and he was as prim and proper as ever. The impression I had was that it was just an act that they had to put on while at work. But are all butlers like this 24/7? Must be tiring.

"I understand that I am imposing on you so late in the evening," he said politely, "but there is something I need to talk to you about."

I asked cautiously, "What is it?"

"The details are of a… sensitive nature, and I'd much appreciate it if we could talk in private. If anyone sees or overhears us, it could prove to be quite troublesome."

"Well, no one comes round here, so go on."

He coughed. "I'm afraid that's not possible. I still don't feel secure. Would it trouble you if you were to let me inside your home? A few minutes of your time are all I require."

My wary personality made it hard for me to trust people whom I didn't know on a personal level. Granting Seishirou his request was out of the question. Besides, in a world where the crime rate was on the rise, one couldn't be too careful. He may be a butler on the outside, but goodness knew what his true nature was – a robber, a killer, or maybe even an underwear thief!

I held up one hand as a sign of refusal and frowned to reiterate my firmness. "Whoa, hey, just because I was once a customer at your workplace doesn't automatically make us friends. You're still a stranger to me. I'm sorry, I can't let you in. I told you, dude. If you want to talk, then talk here."

He clutched his shoulder uneasily and his nervousness made him look even more suspicious. Was he plotting something?

"I see you're adamant about this," he said. "No matter… I understand and respect your decision. However, as my own growing concerns are too great to ignore, I must ask you to hear me out somehow."

The whole time he was talking, I watched his movements closely and intently, like a snake charmer with a deadly cobra. My plan was to punch him in the solar plexus and knock him out if he attempted to lunge at me. I really hoped he didn't try to attack me though, because I was no expert at martial arts. So here's hoping he sucked at it too.

He let out a sigh and reached for his ponytail with one hand. Oh no, was he going to try and do something funny? ! Like yank out a whip from his hair and flog me into submission? ! Or peel off his entire face only to reveal it's a mask made of skin worn by a homicidal sicko? ! My muscles were tense. A bead of sweat rolled down my neck. And my defense mechanisms were good to go, limbs ready to flail about like an octopus at a moment's notice.

"You've left me no choice," he said. "But know this: for a lot of people, there is often more than meets the eye."

With a quick and deft flick of his wrist, he undid the tie that bound his ponytail together, and his locks swished free like a curtain of silk. For a second, I was so spellbound by the beauty of his hair that I didn't notice he had taken off his glasses with his free hand at the same time. The true face of Seishirou-sama greeted me.

And my jaw dropped to the floor.

"Wha… What? !"

Seishirou grinned. "I hope this convinces you now."

I was dumbfounded and stammering like an idiot, pointing with a shaking finger. "Y-You… How… What… Huh? !"

"Hee hee."

"Is that really you, Eri? !"

The person standing before me burst into a giggling fit seeing how comical my face must have looked. "You're slow, Neku. But yes, Eri and Seishirou-sama… are one and the same."

What in the world was going on? ! I knew this was Eri I was talking to, but… "Why the heck are you dressed as a – "

She clamped her hand over my mouth immediately and hushed me into silence. "Shh! Not so loud! Are you trying to give my game away? Look, I'll tell you everything, but I have questions of my own, so… Could you let me in now? It's cold out here."

Oh, right. Now that I was satisfied it was Eri I was dealing with instead of a total stranger, I ushered her inside, and she graciously accepted my hospitality.

"I'll make you cocoa. Make yourself at home. Sorry the kotatsu's not laid out, though."

"So long as I don't freeze my cute little behind off, central heating's fine too!"

XOXOXOXOXO

We sat on the couch, a mug for each of us. The cocoa soothed my nerves and warmed her up, granting her respite from the nighttime cold.

She took another sip and sighed contentedly for the umpteenth time. "Mmm… cocoa."

"You could've just told me right away that it was you in disguise," I said. "No need for all the back-and-forth nonsense earlier."

"I could, sure, but as long as the possibility of someone spying on us exists, I can't completely let my guard down. If word gets out that Seishirou-sama is a girl, everyone will think I'm weird, and I'll get fired. That's why I asked to be let inside. In the privacy of your home, I can unmask myself without fear of being seen or – heaven forbid – caught on film!"

"Your life and part-time career are in constant danger of being put in jeopardy. So in other words, no pressure."

"Every day is fraught with danger and high risk!" she sniggered, cheeky as ever. "Oh, except from Sundays to Tuesdays when I'm off."

"I still have a boatful of things to ask you about your job, but for now let's listen to what you wanted to say."

"Yeah, alright." Much of her mug of cocoa went down her gullet, and with that, she was ready to talk. Her voice had a serious feel to it, like she had important news to tell, but it was also slow and interrupted by stops and starts, as though she wasn't sure if she was going to say the right things. "So, today… um… today I saw you going out with Shiki…"

"Huh?"

"You two passed by the café where I work and I happened to see you through the window. Could it be that you're on a date?"

"Wh-What? No, I – "

My words did not reach her. "Neku, what's the story? C'mon, tell me already!"

"Eri, calm down for a sec. You're getting way too excited, and not in a good way."

"S-Sorry! But is it true? That you were dating?"

"Of course not!" I almost forced the words out in a shout. The last thing I wanted was for her to get the wrong idea because she almost did. "The truth is I was hanging out with Shiki because I was bored."

"J-Just hanging out? Really?" Whew! She bought it, right? Nope, not yet. "But… you and Shiki were carrying shopping bags. So that means you went out shopping with her…"

Urk! No getting out of this one… "Er, yes, I did go shopping with her, but that's only because she dragged me along. We weren't doing it as a sort of dating activity or whatever."

"Erm… but you were smiling?"

"D-Don't people smile when they talk to each other? !" Gah! Eri sure was curious about something that never happened between us. It was up to me to demolish this notion or my confession would have to wait a long, long time.

I unintentionally reached for her hand in a haphazard attempt to calm her down, but when I realized how bold it was of me to do that, the skin almost boiled itself off from my face. My heart bouncing around inside my ribcage made it tough for the words to make it out of my throat without quivering, but I managed.

"Eri… look, I get that you're anxious to know everything, but Shiki and I were just chilling. Sure, there was ramen and a movie, but we were just friends having some fun, that's all. I only wish you were there to join us, but with your part-time job, there was no getting around it, I'm afraid." Word choice was never my strength – I couldn't give a convincing white lie, or flatter like The Prince – but I hoped she would understand.

Her response was quite different from what I expected though. "You went for ramen and a movie too? What kind of ramen? Which movie?"

I was surprised by her reaction but told her anyway.

"Seafood ramen from down the street?" she breathed in envy. "And you watched 'The Haunted Village II'? Aww! If only I'd skipped work and tagged along!"

"Sorry… Why don't we check out their ramen one of these days? As for the movie… uh… I'd appreciate it if we watched something a little less frightening."

"I'd very much like that," she said with an eager smile. "The ramen _and_ the movie, that is. Hee hee… You didn't think you're going to get out of this one that easily now, did you? You're gonna watch 'The Haunted Village II' with me, period. I don't care if you've watched it once already. Horror flicks are best watched with friends!"

"Oh god, please don't," I gulped. "I still have nightmares from the _first_ film."

"Seriously? Ha ha ha!"

What now? Was her curiosity finally sated? If it was, it sure was a strange way to settle things…

But no, life wasn't so easy for me.

"Okay, that aside," said Eri, switching back to serious mode, "I got a phone call from Shiki minutes earlier. Frankly, what she said was a little hard to believe…" – Shiki? She didn't tell her about _that_, right? – "…so I want to hear it from you, Neku. Did she confess to you today?"

Why did Shiki call her about her failed confession? Was she trying to get back at me for turning her down? …No, no, calm down! What was I even thinking? If I pushed that pause button and went over this in a rational manner, it made sense why she would contact Eri. Let's see… Wasn't it normal for best friends like the two of them to lean on the other for moral support? After I rejected her, she must have felt pretty down, so she poured out her sadness to Eri, spilling the truth in the process. And that was why Eri had come to see me! To dig the raw facts right out of the horse's mouth.

"Neku?"

There was no reason to lie, but it was no fun being on the receiving end of an interrogation. "Shiki did tell me that she was in love with me, but I told her that I couldn't return her feelings… That's it…"

Eri blinked at me owlishly. "So it's true…"

What was I supposed to say? I tried to stall for time, to rearrange my thoughts, but there's only so much cocoa in my mug that I can drink.

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing, Neku? You used to be head over heels for her, and now you're saying you can't love her…"

"I-I'm positive that it's not her I want to go after right now."

"Then it's somebody else?"

"…Yeah."

Now I was seriously hoping her next question was not who it was who had stolen my heart. Tonight's events had left me somewhat rattled and I wasn't in the mood to divulge the identity of my dream girl. The only way to deliver a confession is properly, and now it was hardly proper. I didn't want to grow old and think back to the memory of my youth, only to be disappointed that I had blabbered to Eri that I loved her at the couch in a slightly dingy apartment over mugs of cocoa. Where's the romance in _that? !_ Where's the atmosphere, the sunset, the wind billowing in her hair? It wouldn't be right without any of those crucial elements!

It was to my great relief that she didn't. "If you're sure of your decision, Neku," she said at last, "then I shall give you my full support."

"You mean you're okay with it?"

"Sure, why not?" she beamed. "We're best friends, right? We've got to help each other. Personally, I'm sad for Shiki, and I hope she finds another great guy soon, but if you claim that's for the best, then I'm all for it."

I bit my lip. "I… I only hope she'll really be alright. That's all I ask for."

"Of course she will! She's not glass. She'll pull through."

"True. She's a strong girl. Knowing that helps me feel a bit better."

"Alright, let's not dwell on this," she said smilingly, "because I'm still not done questioning you."

Uh-oh… I was still far from out of the woods, huh? "But what'd I do?"

Her empty mug joined mine on the coffee table and she edged closer. The way she was slowly inching her way into my bubble of private space was slightly unnerving and the dangerous glint in her eyes told me she wasn't through. I retreated away as best as I could without her noticing but she just followed until the small of my back bumped into the armrest of the couch. I was trapped.

"Since you and Shiki got to talking, it's only natural I'd want to know if you said anything strange about me. Soooo… talk? I'm all ears."

The evening had worn me out and the exhaustion was taking its toll. "Maybe tomorrow," I yawned. "I want to hit the sack."

"Whaaaaat? Boo! I wanna know…"

"Rest assured we weren't backstabbing you, Eri. Shiki did bring up a lot of things, mostly old memories and things you said in the past that stuck out. But nothing bad. So – "

She nudged even closer until she was practically glued against my body. Gah… What was I, a reclining chair? ! My protests were cut off before they even began when she silenced me with a finger to my lips. And whenever she had that succubus smile, I knew I was destined to lose this little battle of wits.

"If you tell me," she drawled, "I'll show you something good."

"Nice try," I grunted, "but it's been a day and I really want to go to sleep. Let's just talk tomorrow."

"Come on! Don't be a meanie! A girl's curious and you leave her hanging by a thread? Don't you know how much I hate cliffhangers? Spill it now! Um… please? For the sake of your cute and lovable friend?" She pointed at herself, flashing me an impish grin, but I was unmoved.

"Not tonight, Josephine. Now will you please make way? I'm outta here."

"…No."

"Eri!" Her intent on preventing me from leaving the couch was as firm as the pressure of her hip jabbing into mine.

"You're so stubborn."

"Look who's talking! You're cutting into my bedtime as we speak!"

The score was going to be a solid Eri 1, Neku 0 again. "If you keep being like this, Neku," she growled, licking her lips, "I wouldn't let you get any sleep tonight. There's a… technique… I've been meaning to try, and you make a perfect guinea pig. Oh, the sounds you'll make! Gets me all hot thinking about you squirming and squealing your heart out during your first time!"

She did _not_ just suggest that! I had enough! "Okay, okay! I get it, I give! I'll tell all, so get off me and stop thinking about raping me already!"

"Wha…?" Her face instantly changed to one of confusion, or what looked like one. "I was thinking of giving you a foot massage if you refused to talk. A real painful one… What's this about raping again?"

Gah! So it was a misunderstanding on my part? !

Eri wasted no time in taking the chance to poke some more fun at me. "Neku," she sniggered, "you're a pervert. To mistake a foot massage for…"

"It's your fault for being so ambiguous! You…!"

At least I was finally freed from the prison of my own couch when she fell over clutching her sides in laughter. What a loud one she was! At this rate she was going to wake the neighbours. But she couldn't stop, and when she excused herself to take a shower, she laughed all the way in and some. God, life could be cruel.

XOXOXOXOXO

Minutes after I retired to my room to rest, Eri's hyena laughter was still ringing in my ears. People sing while they take showers… but she laughs.

No thanks to her meddling with my head, I couldn't think straight. I seriously thought I was going to get… you know! I was sitting on my bed with a magazine in my hands, but I wasn't reading. My eyes were gliding over the words, but to me right now they were just a jumble of letters that made as much sense as my friend Beat's brain. That is to say, nothing at all.

The door squeaked ajar. Within the gap lay Eri's silhouette like a curious mouse. The remnants of her mirth escaped in a tiny spurt of a giggle.

"Neku," she called, "am I disturbing you?"

"Only if you insist on continuing to pull my chain."

"That's a green light, then. I'm coming in!"

Eri was drying her hair with both hands buried in a towel, and as she sauntered in she gently nudged the door closed behind her with a bump from her hips. She was decked out in only underwear as usual and the bath must have been good, because she was peppy.

"Whatcha doin', Neku?"

"Just some light reading before bed."

My efforts to sound natural were worthy to be praised, but I was no actor. She squinted quizzically at the magazine I was holding and broke into a short laugh.

"Light reading is fine and all, but you're holding it upside-down."

What? Whoops! I was _that_ nervous!

It was to my benefit that she didn't pursue the issue further. I hastily chucked the magazine onto the bedside table just as she clambered onto the bed and joined me. My goodness… she really was pretty. There was nothing about her toned body that couldn't make so many other girls jealous. Even the simplest of her everyday actions could be so suggestive… like how she lets out the occasional contented sigh as she tousles her damp hair dry. I was a lucky man.

The neurons in my brain were racing for something to say but she was faster. "I almost forgot, Neku… Didn't you have questions of your own about my part-time job?"

I _was_ dying to know all the details of her job and why for the love of Tin Pin she was pretending to be a _man_.

So I cleared my throat and got down to business. "You've been all hush-hush about your work as a butler, but I've been very worried about you so it's time for some answers. Sure, if you tell me all of your secrets it's a breach of contract, but as long as no one knows but the two of us, you'll be fine. Are we clear on this?"

She nodded in understanding and was fully cooperative. "I gotcha. But… why would you be worried? It's just part-time work."

"I have every right to be worried! Your working hours go from evening till late at night. I thought you were earning your pay as a waitress in a nightclub. Or even a stripper!"

Her eyes went wide with surprise at my answer and the laughter started up again. "Me, at a nightclub? A stripper? That line of reasoning is way off, Neku! No, I am a butler and my name is Seishirou-sama. And your mind is deeper in the gutter than I thought." She gave in to the temptation of ruffling my mane.

"…I don't want to hear that from someone who's sitting on my bed half-naked." My hair felt like I had taken a stroll through a tornado and I had to reshape it. "Why a butler? Couldn't you have chosen something more… normal? Like a maid café or a family restaurant. What I don't get is that you've decided to do something that's meant for men."

"Sexist now, are we?"

"Th-That's not it…"

"Hee hee… I know." She gazed at me from beneath the towel that was draped over her head like a scarf. What was it about damp hair that made her look so mysterious and alluring? "Why, you ask? Let's just say I wanted a challenge."

"A challenge?"

"There are plenty of other job opportunities available, but then I thought how it couldn't hurt to have a little more excitement in my life. One day out of curiosity I paid a visit to _Tea & Orange_ and was intrigued by how cool all those butlers were. They're such gentlemen it's unbelievable! Their handsome outfits, the way they treat the ladies… I had a great time just being there. That's when I hit upon a crazy idea…"

"I think I know where this is going…"

"Since I was aching for a challenge, I might as well pick the best darn one there ever was. And so I applied for a position at _Tea & Orange_. But I couldn't very well go as myself now, could I?"

I followed up on her. "So you disguised yourself…"

"…And Seishirou-sama was born! Gold star for you!" Then she mussed up my hair again, undoing all of my hard work. The tale of her double life continued while I was forced to restore my locks once more. She was very eager to tell me about it.

"It's heaps of fun, Neku! Of course, it was tough going at first having to work with my breasts taped down flat," – she waved her hands over her chest to illustrate how she did it – "but now I'm getting used to it."

"And how're you holding up so far?" I asked.

"Great!" she chuckled. "No one knows I'm a girl! When the other butlers go about their business thinking I'm one of them, and when girls look about ready to faint when I smile at them, the feeling I get is… intoxicating. Oh, I just love it to death! Hee hee!"

Caught up in memories of personal victories gleaned from work, she wrapped her arms around herself in a fit of giggling and writhing. I had to admit, she deserved credit for doing well in an environment where the danger of her true identity coming out was high. A part of me was glad that she was having fun, another part was even envious that she could achieve success in the face of such great risks. But now in a tiny corner of my head was a query that I had to have answered…

"It's good that you love your job, Eri," I said, "but just for the record… you're not lesbian, are you?"

"What?" she gasped, pretending to be shocked. "Ha ha ha! What makes you think that?"

"B-But you said yourself that you like it when girls go crazy over you?"

"You misunderstand. It's just the rewarding feeling of knowing how well I'm blending in with my butler co-workers. Just think: the whole time, everyone sees me not as the girl Eri, but as Seishirou-sama, the sexiest butler in Shibuya. Of course there's a sense of accomplishment you simply can't deny. Do you see, Neku? If, for example, you dress up as a maid and work in a maid café, and guys keep asking you for your phone number, wouldn't you feel the same way as I do?"

I bluntly replied, "Uh, no. I'd be grossed out." And I made a face too.

Eri just sniggered. "I kind of wish I had a better name for my butler persona, though. A more ornate, posh-sounding alias would do the trick. Don't you agree that Seishirou-sama pales in comparison to, say, Winston Theodoric Fonzarelli?"

"Maybe, but do you realize what the initials of _that_ name spell out?"

"Huh?"

"Well, never mind. I'll let you figure it out. Anyway, I still think it's weird that you've chosen to work as a butler, but if you really like it, I don't mind."

"Really? Aww, thanks!" She gave my arm an affectionate squeeze. "It's nice to know I've got your full blessings."

"Just… Just don't go job-hopping after this and become a stripper behind my back. I'd hate that."

"Ha ha ha… Don't worry!" Her laughter sobered up gradually and she assumed a more solemn tone. "It's nice that I got into _Tea & Orange_. You don't get many chances like this."

I cocked my head slightly, as a silent request for her to explain more. She got the message.

"Think about it," she said softly, twiddling her fingers. "In a couple of years we'll be graduates out on the hunt for gainful employment. Once that's settled, we'll have commitments to our companies. Further down the road, we'll be promoted, which will increase our workload. With so many things to take care of from the moment we're hired, we're bound to have less free time to ourselves than we can help."

"It's the sad reality of things," I sighed, rubbing my arm, "but that's the way the cookie crumbles, I'm afraid. We'll find a new kind of enjoyment with our careers though. Anyway, what's this got to do with your being a butler?"

"While I'm young and I still have youth and time on my side, I figured I should grab the opportunity to have as much fun as I can before things get really hectic. I took up the job with _Tea & Orange_ because I don't want to look back at my youth years later and regret that there's nothing interesting to remember. At least now when I'm older I can reminisce about how I used to dress up as a man!"

"And how you were idolized by girls."

"Yeah, that's good too! Hee hee!"

"…You are so lesbian."

"Am not. Need some more convincing? I can do a mean foot massage…" My gut tightened up when she peeled one of her bra straps off her shoulder. She even had to lick her lips!

"Whoa, whoa! H-Hey, don't pull down the other strap!"

"Ha ha ha!" To my relief she did them back up.

I could argue that stripping wasn't a sure-fire indication that she didn't swing that way, but it'd only lead to more disastrous results that the nose of a certain someone wouldn't be able to handle.

"You're a handful, Eri," I sighed.

"Heh… only because I think you're cute. You're a lot of fun to tease."

"I-I'll take that as a compliment…"

"It _is_ one!" said Eri good-naturedly. "Neku, the times we share together, like now, are very precious to me. We still have about two good years to be wacky and enjoy ourselves before we get out of college and into the real world. After that… there's no telling if we're able to continue doing the sorts of things we're doing now."

The smile in her voice was starting to peter out. "Going on dates, doing shopping together, attending the Hachi Fest, holding our cooking lessons with you as my Sensei, sleeping over at your place, even teasing you till you get nosebleeds… I don't know if all this will ever happen in the near future when we're drowning in our own work. That's why…" – she shifted closer until she was sitting right in front of me – "…that's why I want to relish my days with you while we still can afford to do so."

What was it about Eri that made her capable of swapping emotions so quickly? She's like a faucet; turn one way and she's joyful, turn the other and she's a grey cloud. Now she was all the way on to the latter side. Solemn. Grave. She lifted her head upwards, and I could see her pretty face was marred with deep emotions.

"I like living in the now," she sighed heavily, "but that's because the future scares me. If I never get to see you again, I'd… I'd hate that!"

Eri was the embodiment of everything fun and jovial. She was the class clown, the life of the party, a born joker and prankster. But as every comedian will tell you, even they have their serious days, and she was no different. Just because she played a lot didn't mean she didn't think a lot either. We liked each other's company, and she must be worried that in the not-too-distant future when we might have to be in different places leading different lives, she'd have to miss me.

I felt the same way too. Her chirpy personality was great at keeping boredom at bay, and her comedic talent wasn't boring, if unsafe for work. I knew I would be as lonely without her as she would be without me, and reality could be a very scary thing, but I still had to cheer her up.

"Eri."

"Huh? Neku, what're you – ow!"

I flicked her on the forehead. She didn't seem hurt much, but she was cross.

"What's the big idea? !" she demanded, rubbing the pain out of her very minor injury.

"Oh, sorry, Eri," I grumbled, "I was just a little ticked off. Maybe it's because you made it sound like we'll never meet again. Fun fact: as long as we remain best friends and we never give up on one another, we'll always find a way to keep in touch."

"But isn't that a little too optimistic? Things are only going to get harder later on."

"Who are you and what have you done to Eri? It's not like you to be so negative. The Eri I know will always find a way around things and solve problems. Nothing keeps her down for too long, and she shrugs off mishaps like dandruff. She may be a bit of an airhead, and may stumble headlong through life with more than her fair share of bruises and bad experiences, but she's smart and knows what really counts. You're not Eri. You're an alien."

"Tee hee. You make it sound like I'm a shape-shifting body snatcher." Already she was starting to smile again, which was a good sign.

"Look, the future scares me too, but it's not the end of the world. After what the two of us have been through, and all the fun times we've had together, you're not just going to up and forget about me, are you?"

"Of course not!" she blurted. "I really like you, you know!"

"Oh, um…" Wow… Those were some simple but powerful words… My cheeks were glowing and my tirade immediately began to soften. "Y-Yeah, I… I like you too. So that settles that. Between us both, we'll work something out, so you'll get by just fine. Count on it."

The gratitude could be seen in her eyes. "Darn it, Neku… You're just too cool for words. Thanks, I needed that. Can I give you a nice big glomp?"

I stiffened. "If you refrain from giving me 'foot massages', that should be fine."

"Ha ha ha!"

Being the touchy-feely sort, Eri had no qualms hugging boys and girls alike, but my relationships with people aren't that physical, so it took me a while to return her embrace. She was warm… The scent of shampoo in her hair was heaven on earth. And her body was… _wowzers_.

After an eternity she disentangled herself from me and pressed our foreheads together. There wasn't even an inch of free space between our faces. Her sweet marmalade breath brushed over my skin and tickled it, shivers rippling down my spine with each time she exhaled. Fumble with our balance just a wee bit and our lips might actually touch… Oh man! Gotta be careful not to let that happen. Girls don't like it if you kissed them out of the blue, even if it was by accident. Not that I knew it the hard way, but…

"Neku," she whispered, "can I tell you a secret?"

"What is it?"

"I know it sounds bananas, but see, out of all the guys in the whole wide world…"

"…I'm your favourite?"

She sprang away, her face showing surprise, then indignation. "How did you know? You weren't supposed to know that yet!"

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, "but the truth is, Shiki told me. It's one of the things about you that we were talking about earlier this evening. Oh yeah, she also told me not to tell you… whoops."

"So Shiki leaked it to you? Well, I never!" One hand was to her chest in a display of outrage, though most of it was exaggerated. "I told her, no – _ordered_ her to keep her lips sealed! And she should have _obeyed_."

"Please don't get mad at her, Eri. I think she told us only because she sees how close we are as friends."

"B-But…"

"Is it such a bad thing for me to know beforehand?"

"N-No," said a calmer Eri, "I just wanted to be the one to say it. I mean, honestly! You were so cool until just now. Never take the words out of a girl's mouth, especially if they're words that are meant to be cool and showy! What's a girl got to do to make a complete sentence these days?"

"Heh."

"Wh-What's so funny?"

"You really are an alien. You're not acting like your usual self. Because you usually can't get this embarrassed."

I was right on the money with my words and there was nothing she could say to refute that. She was powerless to fight back.

"Cat got your tongue, Eri?" I couldn't resist saying it.

"No," she gulped, "I just have nothing to say."

"That's the same thing."

"Wh-Whatever."

She dug her head into the crook of my neck and clutched onto my shirt with both hands, kind of how a baby would cling to its mother. People who cry and need some comfort tend to do that, but I could tell she wasn't sad. She just had a red face to hide. Even while I was nervous from her touching me, I couldn't deny my own feelings: that she's cute.

It felt like forever before she could find her voice again, and when it came out, it was as soft as a kitten's meow. "Neku, do you think it's weird knowing that I'm… well, very fond of you?"

"The part where I'm your favourite – ?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Sorry. And no, I don't think it's weird at all."

"Then… what do you think… of me? As a girl, I mean?"

What? Those words… Could she mean…? If a girl asks you that, what she is really asking is whether you see her as a potential candidate for romance, right? And Eri, she… No, there's no doubt about that! I knew what she meant.

She wanted the truth: did I love her?

My head felt like it was screwed on the wrong way. There was a light show in my eyesight with sparks flying all over the place. Inside the confines of my own mind, it was as though I had been placed in a centrifuge and left to fend for myself. All of those unnecessarily descriptive similes aside, I knew I was losing my grip. The promise I had made to myself – to admit my love for Eri with a nearly empty park as the setting and the sunset as the backdrop for added impact – was growing harder and harder to keep. Eventually the temptation was too great to ignore and I succumbed to it.

I had to tell her. Right now. I had to say it… that I loved her. Who knew when my next best opportunity would turn up if I didn't tell her my feelings here? No more wasting perfectly good chances for me! Cold feet no more! Too bad about the ideal image of the park and sunset but it hardly mattered now. Now was the time!

Eri was waiting for my answer and she was being patient for once. That gave me plenty of time to take a deep breath, gather up every ounce of courage I had, silently ask the forces of the universe to lend me their powers for five minutes… and say it.

And I really did. No bull.

"I love you, Eri."

She didn't say anything. How could anyone? It must have been one heck of a revelation for her. I wasn't surprised she needed a few moments to gather up what must be her scattered thoughts in order to put together a suitable reply. Perhaps she needed a push…

"Eri," I continued, "admittedly I haven't been in love with you for long, but I would very much like it if you could spend the days with me. You've proven to be a reliable friend and an unchanging pillar of support, and I'm both happy and thankful. So… um, please be my girlfriend. This is going to be my first relationship ever and I'm no expert in love, but I promise I'll take good care of you."

Still she said nothing. Whoa, was she that surprised?

I gently shook her by the shoulders to get her attention, but she didn't respond. Okay, this was getting weird. Very gingerly I pried her away from me to get a closer look.

Her eyes were closed.

What the heck. The entire time during my confession, she was asleep? !

Couldn't blame the girl, really. Her butler job must have been strenuous.

Disappointment clouded my mind, but not for long. I was even laughing inwardly. Eri was still blissfully unaware of my feelings, but it wasn't all that bad, because at long last I had managed to say something I always wanted to say but never could. It's like having delivered a speech in public perfectly after suffering a bout of anxiety and stage fright. I'm glad my optimism kicked in. Rather than call it an utter waste of time, I regarded it as really good practice for the real thing which would come later. And the next time I said it for real, it would be at the park at sunset. Now that was a memory in the making worth looking forward to.

However, that confession took a lot out of me. Let's not forget I was already tired in the first place. I was so sleepy I couldn't even shift Eri into a proper sleeping position before my eyes slammed shut. That night I slept sitting up with her still wedged against me.

XOXOXOXOXO

My neck was aching even before I opened my eyes at sunrise. Remind me never to sleep sitting up. It doesn't do anyone's spine good if you sleep funny.

Huh… It was hard to see through hazy morning vision, but it looked like over the night I naturally slid down till I was lying on my back. And Eri had ended up sleeping beside me, entangled in the sheets. She moves around in her sleep, I'm told, so it came as no surprise.

My thoughts immediately turned to my failed confession from last night, but it didn't sting as much as one might think. I was even feeling good. There's always another time and today's a new day!

I was about to wake Eri when she stirred and unknowingly kicked the blanket off of herself. It slid off her side of the bed and there was a soft thump as it drooped onto the floor. That's when I noticed something that made my eyes snap open.

Didn't she doze off wearing her underwear?

Why's it _gone? !_ Why was she _naked? !_

What was the meaning of this? ! What happened last night? No way… Eri and I couldn't have…

We couldn't have done _that_, could we? !


	20. A Very Panicky Day

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 20)**  
>by BrDPirateMan<p>

This morning I awoke to a surprise.

Eri was in my bed. Naked. Not a single thread on her.

And here I was asking myself: how did this happen? Where was her underwear? How did they come off? Or rather, why?

Was it because last night she and I had… rrrgh, it gave me goosebumps to say the word!

I didn't quite know how to describe the feeling that was ballooning inside of me. Was it horror or confusion? Questions I never thought I would come to ask myself surfaced in my head. Who started it? Did I really force myself on her somehow in my sleep? But that's ridiculous… not to mention impossible. Plus, I was still fully clothed when I awoke this morning. That alone was the most obvious sign that I definitely did not do anything… right?

Was this part of an elaborate prank to give me a nice big shock when I woke up? Maybe nothing happened, but she just made it seem that way. It'd be nice if I was sure it was a joke, but I had the feeling I would be proven otherwise.

But I trust her. Outside of her foolish ways and careless mannerisms, Eri's a good girl at heart. Some may see her as a tramp who likes to play around but I've been her friend for long enough to know that she's so much better than what they think.

So then if it wasn't her, it would have to be my fault after all? I didn't know what to make of this one bit.

That aside, she was cute all curled up like that… like a sleeping angel, sans the wings… and the harp… and, well, everything else…

Gah! That's it! Using every last ounce of my will, I forcibly swiveled my head away so that I was looking at the wall. I even had to use both of my hands to twist my head in the right direction, like something out of a cartoon. That seemed to ease my troubles, even if it was by a meager amount.

Only problem was, there was a mirror on that wall, and she was reflected in it! Yikes! So I tried looking up at the ceiling.

But I couldn't. My neck was sprained from sleeping on it funny last night. It hurt simply to lift my head upwards, and craning it even one inch was bad enough to force me to stop trying. So my only option was to turn completely away from her.

Knowing that my best friend was still snoozing right behind me with a misplaced bra and panties made it very hard for me to keep my cool though! Y-You understand, don't you?

I decided to retire to the kitchen for now. It was a better place to be in than my bedroom and I could leave Eri in peace until she woke up by herself, with the added benefit of giving me some time to reflect upon this situation.

But I couldn't even get my butt off the bed before I heard a yawn from behind me. My whole body froze. Eri had gotten up! By instinct, I took a quick peek over my shoulder, just in time to catch sight of her sitting up and stretching her arms out, that taut body of hers arching like a gymnast. Goodness… The soft glow of sunlight as it seeped through the curtain and kissed her skin… it was like she was bathed in a resplendent, ethereal aura. She was the most beautiful thing I had laid my eyes on…

…but she was still wearing nada! Believe me, I was trying my very best not to bleed rivers from my nose.

"'Morning, Neku!" she chirped. "How are you feeling?"

"H-Huh? Okay, I think…" It was everything but okay!

"Looks to be a nice day out, so I'm feeling extra generous today. C'mon, let me give my best friend a hug to start the morning on a fresh note!"

"Wha…? ! Wait, you can't – !"

"No arguments. Hugs are not meant to be denied. Now, Neku…" She crept closer like a panther on the kill. "…resign yourself to your fate!"

And she pounced. Too slow to defend myself and too clumsy to dodge, I could do nothing for myself except to take the full brunt of her attack. Her lunge slammed right into me like a battering ram, and I lost balance, teetering on the edge of the bed. Because of this, she fumbled with her embrace and the two of us went over, capsized onto the floor together with a thud – I had it worse because I connected with the floor first, but I broke her fall so it's good that she wasn't hurt much. Still, it was not the best way to start the morning…

Now the back of my skull hurt in addition to my neck. In light of the compromising position I had found myself in, however, I had no time to think about the pain. Eri had fallen on top of me and was now sitting on my lap. I knew my nose was going to act up sooner or later…

"Neku, oh my gosh," she gasped, "are you okay? You made one heck of a thump. Does it hurt?"

"Th-This… is nothing. I'll be – "

"Don't tell me that!" Now she was cross. "You hit your head and you know it! Don't act all manly over things like this! I think you grazed your cheek a little too. Let me take a look!"

The next most unbelievable thing happened. She actually got down on all fours along the length of my person so she could examine my face up close and in greater detail. Every inch of her unclothed body could be felt through my clothes and it was a full-blown assault on the senses. Knowing her, she was totally innocent and meant no harm, but her perpetual lack of decency made it tough to fully appreciate her concern.

"Eri, hang on!"

"Hold still!" she commanded sternly, locking my face into place with her hands. She moved a little closer, her breasts got a little squishier on my chest, and my nose got a little… runnier.

"Gah. Eri…!"

"Look at you. You're not fine at all… You're even bleeding! It's because of your injury!"

"No!" I spluttered. "It's because you're still naked! For goodness' sake, please put something on! Anything!"

Morning grogginess has a way of reducing peoples' alertness and intelligence levels during the first few minutes of waking up. I could see why it took her a few moments for the truth about her state of total undress to sink in.

It fazed her none. "Never mind about me! I'm more concerned about you, even if you don't care about yourself in the slightest!" Then she continued to play amateur medical practitioner, doing nothing useful and wreaking havoc on my senses.

"I… I can't take this anymore…"

My nostrils were seconds away from blowing sky high. But I didn't want to smear her pretty face with gore. Ignoring the pain in my neck, I tilted it away just enough so she wasn't in the trajectory. And my crowning masterpiece of a nosebleed sailed through the air in a red arc. Beautiful… Almost poetic if I do say so myself, if more than a little morbid.

If Eri wasn't shocked by the sight, she might even agree with me.

XOXOXOXOXO

Over breakfast she apologized for her outrageous behaviour. "Sorry for pushing you down and getting you hurt, Neku… I wanted to give you a hug, is all…"

"Closeness and camaraderie are okay in my book, but you could do with a bit more polish."

"Ehehe… sorry."

Why was she in a good mood? Wasn't she aware of what might have happened in the night? Could it be that she knew but it didn't fully hit her yet? She was being very cheerful and nonchalant for someone who may have… you know, with me. Supposing that was even possible in the first place.

Whodunnit? The truth was something I'd rather not hear, but for our sake I had to know.

"Eri," I muttered, hesitating a lot, "can I ask you something?"

Through a mouthful of rice and miso soup she mumbled yes.

"Did we… um…" Dammit, how should I say this without sounding too direct… "Well, do you remember anything from last night? M-My memory is kinda hazy…"

"You mean around bedtime?"

"Th-The whole night. If you could tell me, I'd much appreciate it."

"Gee… Ahaha…" She's blushing… "For me to recall it is a little embarrassing… what with all the talk about you being my favourite and stuff…"

"I-It's fine! We're… We're best friends, right?" I wasn't doing a good job at sounding normal. "So you can tell me anything!"

"Hee hee… Not everything…" Her eye glinted with mischief. "A woman has to have some secrets, or she wouldn't be mysterious! A little mystery goes a long way in ramping up a girl's sexiness." I wouldn't argue with that, but now wasn't the time! The main aim was to get to the bottom of this matter, but if it turned out to be a bottomless pit…

"I just think I might have missed out on maybe one or two things. It'd be great it if you could fill me in."

That mouthful of food took longer to chew while she took her sweet time thinking. Her eyes were to the side in deep thought. Was such a thing really that hard to recall? Or maybe, if it did happen, it was too embarrassing to say? How the seconds tortured me so as they ticked away! But she did speak up at last.

"Mmm, there's nothing that comes to mind, honestly. We talked, and then dozed off… That's it."

Was it really just that? If Eri's memories could be counted on, then I was safe –

"Oh yeah, there is one little thing, Neku. Last night, you made me hurt a bit."

The whole world went white.

But that wasn't all. In addition to that, she also said, "It's because you were so stiff."

The whole world went whiter.

It was still nigh-impossible trying to envision how it could actually happen, but even as my mind was starting to twist the possibilities into more and more complex ways, one fact remained true: I was the one who started it. It was official. And of course, that was more than bad. There would be responsibilities to take care of later too. I took something that was very important to her, and I can never give it back… How could I have been so selfish?

"Neku?" said a concerned Eri. "What's wrong? You're pale. Are you not feeling well?"

"…I'm just a little lethargic."

She brushed her hand over my forehead. "You don't have a fever, but you look terrible. Why don't we postpone today's cooking lesson so you can take a rest?"

Oh, right, today was Saturday. Every Saturday, Eri and I would follow the same ritual: head to the local supermarket to buy food, return to her house, and there I'd teach her a new recipe to add to her personal cookbook. Or we might cook something she had learnt before as part of her revision, so she wouldn't forget how it is done. But given how she diligently practices in the kitchen during her free time, I didn't have to worry too much. She was shaping up to be pretty good at it.

"Hey," she said, "if something's the matter, you can tell me. I'm always here for you." And she smiled sweetly.

_I'm always here for you…  
>I'm always here for you…<br>I'm always here for you…_

Those cute eyes of hers she looked at me with didn't ease my troubles one bit and only served to make me feel even worse. Pangs of guilt pierced my gut like spears.

"N-Neku, you don't look okay…"

"I'm A-OK!" I even flexed one of my arms to show her, but it wasn't very convincing because of how scrawny it was. "Oh, sorry for cutting you off… what were you trying to say?"

"I was going to ask you if we're good for grocery shopping later."

"O-Of course I am. Same as usual every Saturday, right?"

"Hee hee… You're excitable today. That's a good sign. I have a feeling today's lesson is going to be killer!"

First things first, as horrible as this situation was, I had to clear my head and think properly. My neurons were too clogged up with worry. I figured that going along with our cooking lesson might help clear away the dark clouds, even if it's just a bit.

Little did I realize, there would be numerous pitfalls along the way to constantly remind me of my predicament…

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri was staring at the contents of our shopping trolley, her frown speaking volumes about her confusion. "Neku? Um… do we really need these?"

"Sure… why not?"

"But aren't we cooking omelettes today?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm not the cooking expert here, but even I know we don't need canned fruits… or do we?"

That was the third time my mind refused to work the right way in ten minutes! I had been stuffing our trolley with useless things that we wouldn't ever need. That's what happens when you can't get rid of a certain little (big?) problem enough to focus. It was always floating around, taunting me. If I did it with Eri, could it be that right now she was…

"Whoa, Neku, if you're really not up for today, you should have said so. You don't look sick or anything, but you should rest when you're tired."

"Eri," I said, "thank you for your concern. But I'm okay, I think…" I hastily scooped the can out of the trolley and back onto the shelves.

"'I think' is a dangerous expression. Maybe we should buy some medicine while we're here?"

Better not make her panic now. "Don't worry too much about me, Eri… I think."

Eri snorted. "That's one heck of an oxymoron, Neku."

"S-Sorry. Anyway, we'll be okay."

"If you say so."

She was in a good mood, acting like nothing really big happened. Maybe she didn't think much of it. Maybe she's one of those honest, open-minded people who understand that eventually at some point in our lives, we have to procreate. That's perfectly fine, except that the timing was horribly wrong. If I wanted to start a family, it'll be after we're married, not now while we're still college students…

Oh no! I just thought of something. Now that we'd done it, wouldn't I have to marry her? That's what the guy must do: to take responsibility and make the girl feel secure even during the most trying times. But I hadn't even been in a relationship before. I wouldn't know the first thing about marriage. Or maybe we could be like one of those modern couples who choose to stick together for life without ever tying the knot… No, but then her parents wouldn't approve of that. And the child would be –

"Neku," her voice cut my thoughts off. "Just a sec. I found something really good." She skipped off somewhere and returned in three seconds with a handful of…

"…fruit-flavoured lollies?"

"Lemon, mango, pineapple… They look good, so I thought I'd try them out."

I heard from somewhere that pregnant women tend to have strange food cravings. Things that they would normally never think of eating would suddenly pop up on their personal menu. A common trend was that they like sour-tasting foods, much like the lollies Eri just got for herself. The notion that she might have been knocked up just got reinforced like a concrete wall.

Suddenly I didn't like citrus fruits so much.

From that point onwards our time at the supermarket became a nightmare of guilt trips. I almost had a heart attack when we passed by the baby foods section and she happened to look in its direction. Later the sight of a pregnant woman with her husband gave me such a fright that I was almost looking forward to the eerie ghost from yesterday's "The Haunted Village II". And when this toddler scuttled past with his busy parents in tow, Eri gave me an offhanded remark that I swore cut my life expectancy by half, "Wasn't that kid cute, Neku?"

Someone please stop this!

XOXOXOXOXO

I tried my very hardest to keep a straight head while I was teaching Eri the way to cook omelettes. Concentrate on the lesson, was what I kept telling myself. It didn't help. I made more careless mistakes than even the average newbie, and my fingers found themselves being sliced up more than a few times while cutting up scallions.

Eri worked the fourth plaster on my mutilated hand. "Geez, Neku, I knew you weren't okay. At this rate you're gonna be a mummy with all these bandages. Take a rest, please. We're almost done and I can handle it from here."

"Wh-What kind of teacher would I be if I left the lesson to my student? I'm here to see how things go."

"I get that you want to supervise but I'm more than capable! You've taught me omelettes before, so this is child's play. Listen, just have a seat and I'll have us some grub in no time."

"But – "

"No buts!" she huffed, poking me sharply in the nose. "The kitchen's off limits for you today. Get going or I'll make you."

I peeked around her frame, her finger still on my nose, and caught sight of something quite alarming. "Um, Eri? ! The omelette is burning!"

She whipped around just in time to see her pan going up in smoke. We were so engrossed in our little argument that we completely forgot about it.

"Eek! My masterpiece!"

Eri and I were the best of friends. Not only was she fond of me to a fault, she also cared about me a lot, much like I do her. In fact, as recent events show, she might be getting a little overprotective of me. When you look at how much our bond as buddies has grown – from mere acquaintances to comrades for life – it's kind of amazing. I didn't want to wreck our friendship just yet by telling her the truth, and I knew I was being selfish by keeping her in the dark, but I wanted to be able to see her smiling face just a little longer. At least until I found the right way to break the news to her.

The inedible wad of burnt proteins that used to be an egg got thrown out and she had to redo the whole thing from scratch. She insisted vehemently – almost violently – that I take a seat in the living room, which was just as well. I was losing my grip on the lesson. Some Sensei I made, huh?

Eri returned holding a plate of freshly made omelettes – a far cry from the blackened mess from earlier – and with a smug look that demanded praise. "Voila!" she proclaimed. "I hereby present you another one of my finest creations!" And then, in a humbler self-deprecating tone, she added, "Not that omelettes are five-star material, but…"

Keeping up with her upbeat ways was hard, but seeing her with self-made food in her hands and a smile on her face always makes me feel good. This must be the tingle of satisfaction a teacher gets in his spine when his student applies what she was taught in capable fashion. It made for a good distraction that could keep my worries off my back for a while, even though that while was all of maybe sixty seconds or so.

"Ooh, smells good." I followed the scent trail to the dining table where she laid down her latest dish, and joined her to tuck in and sample it.

She snorted in pride. "I did say you didn't have to worry. …Oh!"

"Eri? What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I just got a good idea."

"A good idea? What is it?"

She took the seat next to me and speared a piece of the omelette on a fork, then… okay, I knew this was going to happen. The way she beamed like an kid with a toy as she extended the fork towards my mouth, her free hand hovering beneath in case the food dropped… I saw all this coming from a mile away. What I didn't think she'd say was:

"Alright, _honey_, open up and say 'ahhh'."

Did Eri just speak to me like we were already husband and wife? Suddenly all the gloom I'd been hoping to temporarily put behind me set up shop in my psyche once more. If Eri and I had already done you-know-what and reached the point of no return, it's only natural we'd have to be bound for life. Not that being together was a bad thing; I just didn't want it to be this early. The thunderstorms were gathering again…

At the same time, however – and I couldn't even explain why adequately enough – it was flattering when she addressed me so affectionately. How nice it would be if she wasn't joking for once. Ah… maybe when we got close enough that's what we could do: feed each other omelettes and stuff while saying all manner of sweet nothings.

I kept her waiting for too long and she got cross. "Neku, stop spacing out! You're supposed to open your mouth."

"Huh? ! Oh, r-right."

"That's more like it. Now here you go, honey," she cooed, "here's your daily spoonful of breakfast-y goodness. Say 'ahhh'…"

My lips reluctantly parted at her command, and the spoonful of omelette went in. It turned out to be even more of a delight than I expected: soft, fluffy, and my favourite girl made it! To get the chance to taste the cooking of your romantic interest was one thing, to have her feed it to you was another. Either which way was good! I was so caught up in my little bubble of happiness that when I saw her begging me eagerly for a response with those cute eyes of hers, I had this to say:

"It's perfect, darling."

Nothing happened at first, and she just stared at me blankly, her smile still stuck on her face. But when the words finally sank in for her and the heat got to her cheeks, I realized I had made the biggest slip of the tongue ever.

I immediately went into denial mode. "Ah! Um, I… I didn't mean it like in the literal sense, of course. It was… well, when you fed me just now and acted all giggly and stuff I figured it'd be fun to get in the act myself, you know? D-Definitely not what you might think. It's not like – "

"No, it's okay!" she said kindly, still red-faced. Her hands were waving frantically in a "never mind" gesture. "I get what you mean. It's like a comedy act, right?"

"Something like that… yeah."

"I'll give you credit for trying, Neku. You're still stiff though, so I'm taking off 30 points. You'll get it next time!" I unintentionally spoke from the heart and here she's giving me a partial score? "Anyway, let's dig in."

"S-Sure, let's."

Everything went back to normal after that, more or less, although the mixture of guilt and guilty happiness was still eating at me. 'Darling' and 'honey' were things she was fine with? What could it mean? Did she attune her mindset to the eventuality that we could get married soon? Girls could be so complex.

Throughout the meal she was chipper, and a bit cheeky too. "Do I get a full score this time?"

"Y-Your skin is so thick to even ask that… But the omelette really is good. Bit too much pepper in this one, but then it's a matter of preference, I guess. You've improved, though. I'll give it a nine."

"Nine?" she pouted purposefully. "But you said it's 'perfect, darling'."

I felt seized by a wave of cold sweat. "I… I didn't really mean…!"

"Relax, we're cool, Neku!" She gave a hearty laugh and popped a spoonful of omelette in her mouth. "If you were an acquaintance and you said that, I'd probably be weirded out, but we've known each other for, what, ages? So it's alright. Besides, the two of us sitting here at the dining table…"

"Wh-What about it?"

"It's almost like we're a married couple."

"E-Eri? !"

"Ha ha ha! Your face is all red. And it matches the ketchup. That's cute!"

"I-It's not that cute…"

My hands were quivering as I was bringing my cup of tea to my mouth. Merely trying to keep it balanced was a struggle and it was embarrassing seeing the tea froth up like an ocean in a storm. Could Eri see this? Was she going to laugh? I didn't have to think about that. My fingers became like butter and the cup slipped. I was fortunate enough to catch it before I lost my grip completely, but Lady Luck was still not on my side: the tea spilled out of the cup anyway… and onto my lap.

Did I mention? Tea is always served hot.

I let out a cry of pain and panicked as the liquid seeped into my clothing. It was all over my shirt and everywhere on my trousers!

"Gah!"

"Neku? !" gasped Eri, who whisked over to my side. "Oh no! You okay? !"

She could be a quick thinker, and right now was a good example of that finger-snap quickness. Apparently she knew how painful it was to be in my position, so she didn't waste a second more. Her hands immediately dove for the hem of my shirt and in a flourish she whipped it off, leaving me sitting there topless. Did she actually just…? !

"Hey! What the…? !"

"Take off your clothes now!" she barked, throwing my shirt onto the floor. "They'll burn your skin!"

Oh no, she was serious! Eri was trying to help me but I wasn't a fan of being forcibly and violently stripped naked. Sure, she's seen me pretty much in the nude before – still fresh in my mind was the day we both got soaked in the rain and had to take a bath together. But that didn't mean I wanted her to see me like that again!

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end when she turned her sights to my trousers. I knew what was going to happen next. My decency took on a bigger priority and suddenly the pain didn't seem so bad.

"No you don't!" I squawked. "Not my pants!"

"You idiot, I'm trying to help you! Would you _love_ to be scalded stupid? !" Her hands were already latched onto my zipper! ! ! "Off! Pants! Now!"

"Doooooooon't!"

And so the two of us wrestled. It's good that she was worried about me but I wished she would at least let me zip into the bathroom and take off my pants by myself. As I continued my resistance she grew more irritated and our little brawl escalated to the point where I lost balance and fell onto the floor. Now I was at a real disadvantage and I swore, for a half-second, that her eyes had this glint of victory in them, a glint that said, "Freaking finally. Now give in already!"

The zipper was pulled all the way down and she was more than ready to yank my trousers off. Even in the midst of all the hullaballoo, however, I noticed a crucial detail. We were both very close to the dining table and at its very edge sat my cup of tea. Eri's wild movements made her bump against one of the table legs, causing the cup to wobble dangerously. It was going to fall over on its side and its contents – still hot, mind you – would spill right on top of her.

But as I was pinned down and I lacked both the strength and means to move, all I could do was shout, "Eri, watch it!"

"Huh?"

Too late. The cup tipped over, and the leftover tea splashed on Eri's back. And she felt it.

"KYAAAAH!"

"Eri! Oh my god, are you – "

"Hot hot hot hot hot…!" She was faster than greased lightning when she peeled off her one-piece dress and… oooh, today the colour of her underwear was black… Wait, what the heck? !

I snapped myself out of it. "Eri, does it hurt? !"

"Heck if it doesn't!" she snapped. "It's soaking into my underwear too! Argh!"

Was… Was she going to do what I think she was going to do? !

"Hey, don't take off your – !"

"Don't take off my what? !" Th-Those were some quick hands! Didn't even manage to finish my sentence and her bra was already off. I found myself staring smack dab at… at… well, what it used to cover…

Eri, oh Eri… How many times must your clothes come off in front of me in a single day? I don't have enough blood for this…

XOXOXOXOXO

Hell of a day it was, and it wasn't even 2 pm! The omelettes were a feast, but the wardrobe mishap that followed afterwards made me so lightheaded I staggered the few blocks home like a drunkard. And I didn't even get the chance to press Eri for more details about what I thought might have been our first night.

I could do with some distraction therapy for now. I'd think about the heavy stuff later. The fuzz had to get out of my head before I could get back to my responsibilities.

I flopped onto the couch and grabbed the remote. The TV flicked on to the news channel.

"And now for a special bulletin," said the newsreader. "The Ministry of Health has started a campaign to minimize the number of occurrences of teenage pregnancy in Japan. He claims that – "

Why did that have to be the first thing I saw? ! I jabbed the remote too hard and another channel buzzed in. This time it was a drama in the middle of a heated argument scene.

"I don't care!" screamed the middle-aged woman at the young man. "I don't want my daughter's child to be born out of wedlock. You have to marry my daugh– "

Guh… Next!

"Coming up: yoga for expectant mothers – "

Next!

"AAAAAARGH! ! ! OH MY GOD IT'S COMING OUT OF HER STOMACH KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT! ! !"

That was from a sci-fi horror film. I'd heard of this one. Something about aliens from outer space who implant embryos in unsuspecting human females, only for the fetuses to burst out of their hosts' stomachs in appropriately bloody fashion. Gruesome stuff. And just what I needed. Two horror films in two days!

The boob tube was not going to help at all so I shut it off with a vengeance. Well… if it was a no-go then I could always try poking around on the internet…

Come to think of it, it was a while since I last checked my e-mail. I fired up my browser and logged in to my inbox, and was immediately attacked by an avalanche of unread mails. Sifting through the whole mess yielded disturbing results along the likes of: "Large is good!", "Try our perfectly safe enhancement pills now!", and "Vasectomies – Go worry-free for the rest of your nights!"

I emptied the entire inbox out of disgust. What's with my luck today? !

Fine. If nothing else, I could try taking a nap. I'd be more refreshed upon waking up.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Not a lot of shut-eye time had gone by before I received an urgent phone call. My whole body literally hopped three inches off the bed from the sound of my ringtone. There's something about being on edge that could make even the most innocuous things seem dreadful.

"Hello?"

"Neku!" It was Shiki. Why did she call me? "Get to the hospital ASAP!"

"Huh…? For what?"

"Eri is… Eri is in labour!"

What? ! The news came to me like a blow to my gut. What in the world was…? ! I swore everything was in the "still okay" stage just minutes ago! Just this morning we had gone shopping and cooked up omelettes and now she's already in _labour? !_

My body felt like it was moving on its own. I didn't even know I had dressed myself up until I flew out the door. My landlady was just about to go on her monthly routine of extorting the rent from me but got the shock of her life when I burst out and dashed past her. As I sprinted down the stairs, two at a time, I shouted to her over my shoulder that I would pay up as promised but added that now wasn't the best time. Downstairs I managed to hail a cab quite quickly and off I went. To my doom.

Time flew by in a blur, and when I made it to the hospital in a flurry of arms and legs, Shiki was the first to rush over and greet me, flanked by a bevy of nurses.

"Neku!" she panted. "So glad you could come!"

"Wh-What happened?" I asked, though I already knew the answer, more or less.

A doctor eased his way past the crowd that had gathered around me and cleared his throat. "Sakuraba, I presume? You just missed the big event – the delivery – but no matter. Either way, congratulations! You're now the father of – "

That word. God, that's the last word I wanted to hear. I'm a _father_ now? I wasn't ready. What did I do to deserve this? Was this my punishment for being fashion-illiterate and a shut-in? So what if I am? ! I'm still a careful, hardworking member of the society!

The worst had yet to come though.

The doctor hadn't finished speaking. " – octuplets!"

I gaped at his words. "C-Come again?"

Shiki grasped my arm happily. "He means you've got _eight_ kids, Neku! Again, congrats! I'm so happy for you and Eri!"

Amid the cheers of delight and the numerous pats on the back that I was getting, I found myself with an uncontrollable urge to scream. So I didn't hold back. Right in the middle of the hospital I dropped to my knees, buried my head in my hands, and howled.

"NOOOO…! ! !"

XOXOXOXOXO

"NOOOO – Huh? !"

What happened to the hospital? Why was I back in my bedroom –

…Oh, I guess I must have been dreaming. The whole thing was just one bad dream. Whew! Seriously though, why must nightmares feel so real? The sheets were soaked in my sweat!

I wanted to laugh but remembered rather dolefully that I wasn't out of the woods yet. The truth about last night was still so far away with no concrete information and what little evidence I could gather was as flimsy as Eri's clothes. There was nothing that could point me in the right direction so here I was taking potshots in the dark with my wild doomsday theories.

But useless conjecture wouldn't get me anywhere. I had to speak to Eri about this… after her nighttime shift. In the meantime, I went to Miyashita Park to cool off and do some thinking.

What should I do? I didn't even remember laying a finger on her the entire night and now it had mysteriously come to this. Minutes of brainstorming went by… and nothing. I was still stuck. If only I had someone to pour out my troubles to.

"Dammit," I grunted to myself, "what now?"

"Hoi, what's with that wistful look on your face?"

"Huh? Who's there – oh, it's you."

The mystery person who had called me out of nowhere showed up, standing in a lazy pose before me. "Hey, I've got a proper name, you know," he laughed. "But who am I to say that when I myself call you extensively by your nickname, Phones?"

"Kariya, just once it'd be nice if people round here called me by my real name."

"Can't help it, man." He plopped down next to me on the bench. "'Phones' has less syllables than 'Neku Sakuraba'. No prizes knowing which one is less of a mouthful to say. Anyway, what's gotten into you? You're looking pretty down."

Kariya wasn't the best person to turn to for advice, but he could have wise words worth listening to every now and again. Maybe if I told him about my little problem, he might have something I could use to turn things around.

"Not so much down," I replied, "as I'm worried. See… it's about Eri."

He was reclining in his seat but at the mere mention of possible juicy details about my love life, he perked up and sat straight. I wished he could exercise a little more care and tact in his words though. "Eri, huh? Now that sounds fun! Alright, let's hear what the two of you have been up to. Just be sure to keep the protection on, if you get my drift." And he broke into a series of guffaws like he had just told the world's greatest joke.

I didn't appreciate the humour, though. If anything, it made me feel worse.

He saw that I wasn't laughing and clammed up fast. "Whoa, those are some ridges you've got on your forehead. Is it really that serious?"

"Why don't I tell you about it, and you see what to make of it."

So I told him what I knew so far, sparing no details. Kariya had a whole spectrum of facial expressions to offer, ranging from bug-eyed surprise to a glum frown of concern. As animated as his face was, I was thankful that he did not interrupt me even once. For someone who didn't immediately strike as dependable, he was a good listener.

"So now," I concluded, "I don't know what to do."

Only now did he start to talk. "You're saying you might have spent the night with Eri _magically_… and now she might be knocked up because of you? Wow, Phones, I've seen lots of strange things as a Reaper, but this takes the cake."

My hands were wringing with each other. "It does sound improbable but I'm worried for her all the same. I mean, I'm not going to back down, but I don't exactly want to start a family when I don't even have a proper job."

Kariya's smile was kind. "Good to know your mindset is on the right path. I'll give you my two cents' worth, but for now, let's keep this from Uzuki."

"Yeah," I said, shuddering, "it's _her_ we're talking about. She hates men who don't practice much chivalry. If Uzuki gets wind of this, she'll have my head."

"Did someone mention my name?"

The two of us froze. That voice… Oh no.

In a weak inaudible tone I rarely used, I squeaked to Kariya, "Sh-She's right behind us… isn't she?"

He responded just as meekly, "Uh-huh."

"What're you goons going on about?" grumbled Uzuki, who went round to stand in front of us with arms akimbo. "And what's with the secrecy? When you hear your name come up in someone else's conversation, you'd want to know why, wouldn't you?"

Cold sweat literally gushed down my forehead in generous sheets. What should I say to get her to leave us alone? Luckily or unluckily, Kariya answered for me.

"Look, Uzuki," he said, "Phones and I here… We were just having a guys' only chat."

"The heck is that supposed to mean?"

"There are things in this world that only men can talk about. To include a female participant in our conversation would just shatter the very element of 'guy time'. You understand, don't you? I'm sure you girls have your girl talk too. Well, it's the same thing here!" Hey, that's actually a pretty slick excuse! It's a known fact that guys and girls have their own special inner conversation circles and tend to stay out of each other's way, like we're all following a hidden rule in life.

"If it really is just that, I'll be fine with it," she huffed. "But I still clearly heard my name."

Kariya had the blank look of someone who had run out of excuses, because that was exactly what he was.

"Oh yeah," he mumbled stupidly, "I forgot." Dammit, Kariya… We're going to be doomed at this rate! ! !

And true enough, we were. Uzuki's face grew darker. "Oh, I'm sure it must have been something very important. But no one likes it when you talk about them behind their backs and they happen to hear it. You were probably going on about how much of a monster I can be and how I have people's heads for breakfast."

"H-How did you – "

"Oi!" I yelped urgently. "Not 'how did you'! ! !"

Now Uzuki was getting cross. How could she not? We only had ourselves to blame for giving our own game away. Her eye twitching slightly, she said a couple of words curtly and with frightening succinctness.

"Spill it."

"Hey, take it easy, girl," said Kariya, trying to be peacemaker, "let's not jump to –"

"I said SPILL IT!"

Her voice was like a typhoon and almost blew us hapless guys over the back of the bench like ragdolls. And when she jammed herself in between us on the bench with no indication she was going to leave without satisfying her curiosity, we had little choice but to comply. Uzuki was right about herself being a monster! I wasn't going to find out if she wanted to have our heads for breakfast anytime soon though. It just wasn't worth the curiosity. And so, I repeated the entire story to her, as politely as possible.

Like Kariya, she listened intently and didn't interrupt me at any one point, though I suspect it was more out of stunned outrage than courtesy.

"And… And there you have it," I gulped. "I'm in a real bad way now."

She pressed her fingers to her face, taking a few seconds to digest the severity of my situation. 'Harsh' was her middle name, and she made sure I memorized it like the back of my hand.

"Neku," she sighed, "if I didn't think you were an idiot before, I sure do now." Ouch!

Kariya tried to calm the beast that was her. "Uzuki, that's not how you show moral support. The kid might have gotten his girl pregnant and he's in a bind. Shouldn't we at least comfort him a little to take the sting out of things? We can always sort things out as we go along."

"What I feel you buffoons should be doing instead is using what little is in your heads to think through this some more. Neku, tell me something."

I gulped. "Y-Yes?"

"Were the two of you drunk last night?"

That was the one question I could answer with full confidence. "No, she didn't have a single drop of alcohol in her and neither did I. Totally sober."

"And you say you still got all your clothes on when you woke up?"

"Yes, that's right."

"You were also asleep the whole time?"

"Like a log."

She crossed her arms and heaved a sigh, staring skywards in deep thought. "This is just an educated guess," she said, "but I think the two of you didn't do a single thing."

Her words surprised me. In the face of such incriminating evidence, all she had to say was that I didn't have my way with Eri? I wondered where her logic lay, but at the same time I hoped she was right. So desperate was I for good news that even the faintest glimmer of hope was very welcome. I asked her, "Why do you say that?"

"I just don't think it's possible for _that_ kind of thing to happen between a couple when one of them isn't even awake."

"That did cross my mind, but – "

"Also, if you were still fully clothed when you got up in the morning, it's very likely you were the same way throughout the night, which is usually a strong indication that nothing happened. And you two weren't even drunk. That effectively rules out the possibility that you might have done stuff beyond your control."

Uzuki had some valid points that even I had to agree with. But the weight on my shoulders wouldn't go away just yet. I would need something more to be completely convinced…

As though she could read minds, she continued, rather bluntly, "Most importantly, Eri's not the kind of girl who would rape you while you're asleep in the middle of the night."

This elicited a laugh from Kariya. "Yeah, I actually have to agree right there. She's a screwy one alright – no offence, by the way – but not so screwy that she'd want to pull off a stunt like that. Deep in your heart, you still believe in her, don't you?"

All the good memories I had forged with Eri came flooding back to me at a machinegun-like pace. From the first date we ever had to watching fireworks together during the Hachi Fest… going to the supermarket on Saturdays to stock up on groceries and then coming back home to teach her how to cook… the various other experiences we had shared up till now… She had proven to be a nice girl beneath her wild child exterior. Of course she wouldn't do something so horrible to me and spoil the trust we built up over so long. How could I even start to think that?

That was exactly what I needed to get myself back on track. Thanks to my two Reaper buddies the clouds around my head could finally melt away.

Kariya didn't need to wait for a positive answer from me to know that I was feeling better. "Looks like you've found your salvation, Phones."

"Thanks, guys," I said, with a smile. "I'd have been lost without your advice."

"Heh, don't mention it! I'll have a shio ramen, thank you very much."

"What?"

"Ignore him," snorted Uzuki. "He just wants a reward. Anyway, it's not over yet, Neku. You do know what to do next, don't you?"

What was it she was trying to say? My mind drew a blank. "Huh?"

She let out a low annoyed grumble, with all the patience of an erupting volcano. "Don't 'huh' me! You still have to find out if Eri is really pregnant. Only when you know for sure that she isn't can the two of you afford to relax. Geez, go buy yourself a pregnancy test kit already." I almost expected her to add, "And get a brain while you're at it," so I was actually surprised when she didn't. Well, even she can't always be sarcastic, I guess –

"Oh, by the way," she said, "get a brain while you're at it."

…Damn.

Kariya laughed. "You'll be fine, Phones. I'm so envious of you, though! You've got a girl who clearly likes you enough to want to sleep over at your place and everything!"

What was I supposed to say to that? "Um, thanks… I guess?"

"Uzuki doesn't even want to visit me," he lamented openly. "You'd have thought she'd at least give me some love after we'd been working together as Reapers for so long – ow. Ow, ow, ow!"

"I'm still here, mind you," she hissed, pinching him in the ribs tightly. "And no, I'm not letting my shadow fall onto your front door. You're nothing but bad news, that's what you are."

"Th-That's cruel, girl. At least take a page from Eri and get nicer underwear. Yours is kind of plain – OW! ! !"

"Shut it! Stop spouting crud that's not true and shut it!"

I excused myself and left Kariya to his fate. With the way they act, it's hard to tell if they were good friends or eternal rivals.

XOXOXOXOXO

Here we go, Neku. Deep breaths. Inhale, exhale.

Following a rather uneasy and self-conscious trip to Nishimura Drugs, I found myself the owner of a pregnancy test kit. Ironically, the name of this particular product was 'Happy Event', making it sound a lot like a bad joke.

This was the only way to know for sure if Eri was… you know. It's hardly proper form to ask a girl to use it, but what choice did I have? I only hoped that she would be optimistic enough to forgive me afterwards.

The front door swung open before I could even lift my finger to press the doorbell, and there stood Eri. Her sudden unexpected appearance startled me and I forgot to greet her.

"Eri?" I gasped. "H-How did you know I was out here?"

"I heard you," she replied. "Your voice was so clear and crisp as you were saying things to yourself like 'Relax, Neku', and 'It's gonna be fine'. Heck, I could even hear the deep breathing exercises you were doing through the door… scary." She broke into a soft giggle.

How embarrassing! "S-Sorry. I didn't mean to creep you out."

"Hey, no biggie! Come on inside."

Eri pulled me inside by the wrist very eagerly like I was the guest of honour. It's almost a scientific fact by now that she likes sticking around me, so it was no wonder that she was in high spirits, but I wondered if she would continue feeling that way soon. I still felt the sting of guilt for making Shiki feel bad by getting to the bottom of her peculiar behaviour yesterday. For a person to go from happy to sad in a matter of moments… that's not something I wished to see in Eri.

As she got tea ready for me she asked, "So what's gotten your feathers in a bunch, Neku?"

Urk… What was it again? Because she opened the door too early, I didn't have time to rearrange my haphazard thoughts. I could have sworn that just a few seconds ago I actually had an idea of what to say.

"Eri," I said shakily, "you know how you slept over at my place yesterday?"

"Yeah?"

"And you ended up in my bed…"

"I meant to go back to the other room after I was done talking to you, but I nodded off anyway. Hope you didn't mind! I was quite zonked out from butler duties." She joined me on the couch, bringing me my cup of tea from which I took a grateful sip.

"It's fine. But, see…" This was where my nervousness started to increase exponentially. There was something I had to ask of her, but my scattered mind still couldn't remember what. Unfortunately the conversation was going a little too fast for my liking, so I thought that the best for now would be to plough my way through and see if I could manage a last-minute recall.

"Well," I continued, setting the cup on the coffee table, "I don't know all the details about the entire night, and um… I was wondering if we did anything else… in our sleep… maybe. I mean, uh… probably… But I don't know if you're… that… so…"

Eyebrows askew with confusion, Eri held up a hand and stopped me. "Neku… I don't get what you're trying to say. Could you be a little clearer?"

"Sorry, Eri. I just, well…" No good. Oh wait! Maybe I was meaning to say… _that!_ Right?

"Well… what?"

"If… If it's okay with you…" In one quick breath I blurted it all out without thinking. "…will you marry me? ? ?"

Of all the – why did I have to say that? ! Maybe it was a secret desire hidden deep within my subconscious. But that went to show just how messed up my head was, I suppose!

The worst part was that she heard it, loud and clear. Her hand had found its way to her bosom, lightly clenched into a quivering fist over her heart. Those pretty eyes of hers that could turn a man's knees to jelly were now just two giant blank circles staring at me. Slowly, surely, inevitably, her cheeks started to glow pink.

"Um, Neku?" she squeaked. "A-Are you… serious? 'Cause, you know, I think it's a little early for – "

"Wait, hang on a minute!" I spluttered, panicking and waving my hands frantically. "It's a mistake. My mistake! I didn't mean to say that… you know? My mouth says the craziest things."

"Is that so? Oh, okay." Eri seemed to calm down, though the redness wouldn't leave her face, not that I was surprised. "You almost gave me a heart attack there! I've received love letters and confessions before, but if you were serious, it'd have been my first time being proposed to. I wouldn't know the right thing to say!"

"Sorry… Anyway, n-never mind about that! I have something far more important to discuss with you. If I give you the heebie-jeebies, I apologise beforehand."

That piqued her curiosity. "What could possibly be so bad you'd have to say sorry in advance?"

"This."

That cursed pregnancy test kit… I'd have to give it to her. Simply twisting it out of my pocket took such a monumental effort it made Hercules look like a dead twig. What guy would be comfortable with this? Very sheepishly and unwillingly I extended the offending thing towards her, looking away in shame. I was this sure she would bolt in disgust and I wasn't keen on seeing the face she would make.

"Wh – Neku… Wh-What's the meaning of this?"

It was all I could do to steady the tremors in my voice. "Y-You woke up in my bed without any clothes on this morning, so I thought that we might have, you know, gone at it last night. I know it's crazy! Believe me, I know, but – "

"You're saying that we did… that sort of thing?" Eri blinked at me owlishly. "You and me?"

"Y-Yeah." By now my entire head could have been mistaken for a tomato with orange hair.

"Uh, no. Didn't happen."

"Huh?" It… didn't happen? "Wh-What do you mean?"

The tint on her face deepened. You can do your hardest to stay calm, but unless you're an actor, which neither of us was, there's a limit to how much you can control the redness on your face. That is to say, none at all.

"I mean exactly that, Neku. We didn't… Let's just say we weren't rabbits last night."

I gulped. Rabbits, huh… What an apt way to put it. But I had yet to be fully convinced that we really didn't get to doing it. "How can I be sure that's the case? Don't forget, you wound up naked in my bed!"

She fiddled with her hair, mumbling, "That's because the underwear I wore yesterday is old and worn and prone to coming away by itself." What the heck? "The bra clasp pops open when you least expect it, and the elastic in the panties is so loose they'd slip off rather than stay on. That's why I pair it with jeans or pants. It'd be a disaster if I wear a skirt… Still, they're my favourite pair, so…"

"Er, y-yeah, hate to stop you there but I got it already. N-No need to be so graphic. Besides, I still have questions. For example, how do you explain what you told me? About how I made you hurt a bit because I was so… s-stiff?"

Again she countered my argument. "Oh… that? Well, remember how we slept in each other's arms? I had my head resting on your chest."

"Uh-huh…"

"I happened to wake up in the middle of the night and we were still clinging to one another. Your chin was jutting into the top of my head and made it _hurt a bit_. 'Cause your chin's so _stiff!_"

What? So it was something like this all along? Gah… How much dumber could it get…

"By the way," she said, rubbing her head, "it still kinda hurts now. You got a chin made of iron or what?"

"So… So that's how it was…" I slumped back, sinking a little into the cushions, a hand through my hair in a mixed display of relief and slight exasperation. The answers to my burning questions had been answered at last. "And here I thought we actually had… and that you were pregnant… You have no idea how scared I was, Eri!"

I felt her fingertips on my arm in a show of empathy. "I can't blame you, Neku. If I was in your shoes, I'd probably be cursing my luck myself."

"We're safe. Thank goodness…! Least now I don't have to worry about, well… a lot of things. Man, I just about tore off most of my hair today!"

"I can see a bald spot," she wisecracked. "Anyway, you say we're safe, huh? I don't know…"

"What'd you mean? We're as safe as safe gets, aren't we?"

"Can't hurt to be sure, right?" She dangled the pregnancy test kit in the air. "You went out of your way to buy this, so we might as well use it and put ourselves out of our misery once and for all. Evidence speaks volumes."

That was true, but we were already in the clear, weren't we? If she was so sure that we were good, then that's that… What was this tiny wisp of a bad feeling that I had in the pit of my stomach, though…

"Eri, I… I don't know about – huh? Hey, where are you going?"

"To the bathroom. Be back in a minute!" And she disappeared inside before I could reply.

She took that kit with her. Oh boy, she was planning on using it, wasn't she? No use trying to stop her, not that it mattered much though. We were A-OK and blissfully _not_ on our way to parenthood. No news was good news, that's for sure, yes sir! The results would be negative. I was this sure of it.

…Right?

Some time later the bathroom door squeaked open and out she came with a sad look on her face. Wait, sad? !

I didn't wait for her to speak up and rushed over, clutching her by the shoulders urgently. "Eri! What… What's wrong? !"

Eri's lip was trembling slightly and she was biting on it. When I tried to meet her eyes, she wouldn't let me, looking away.

"Neku… I'm sorry. We were wrong after all."

"Y-You don't mean…? !"

"…I'm pregnant."

F-For real? This wasn't a joke? She wasn't going to jab me in the nose with her finger and shout "Gotcha!"? Any moment now I could crumple like a house of cards. How could I even stand when my knees had turned to mush? I wanted to protest, to say that Eri was pulling my chain like she always was, but I didn't think there would be even more bad news in store for me.

"And Neku," she added, "it's twins."

The blood rushed from my face; I could almost feel it happen. "Y-You're… We're having twins? ! I… I don't know what to…"

I was milliseconds away from pushing the panic button and losing it completely, but halt! My common sense took hold of the situation just in time for me to realize that within Eri's words, spoken with such seemingly crushing seriousness, lay a very big contradiction.

"Hold the phone," I said slowly. "You can't tell how many kids you'll have from a pregnancy test kit!"

"Well, darn, you found me out." Even as she spoke it was difficult to keep the laughter in and eventually she was drowning in giggles. "Though you should have done so five seconds earlier!"

She showed me the results of her pregnancy test. I triple-checked them with the guidelines printed on the box. Negative, just like I thought.

Defeated and downright exhausted with the entire fiasco, I just dropped to the floor and sat right there. She hunkered down to join me, arms folded on top of her knees. And that mischievous grin was stubborn and refused to leave her face. Dammit, did she have to make fun of me when my nerves were already so rattled? Ever the joker, I guess, but…

"Way to give a guy a heart attack. At least go easy on me!"

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Hee hee! But that's a good lesson to be learnt, isn't it? That should teach you to be more careful, Neku."

"Says the pot to the kettle. For goodness' sake, Eri! Next time, get some underwear that actually stays on! This misunderstanding is your entire fault to begin with!"

Her protest was, "But that's my lucky underwear! I wore it to my first date and it went well. It's got good vibes and sentimental value, even if it's falling apart. You can't just make me toss 'em! Would you like it if I ask you to trash your beloved headphones? There you go; same story!"

Eri always wins all the arguments… "Fine, I get it. I'm just glad this whole thing is finally over. I went nuts thinking about it the whole day!"

"I'm glad too."

"Yeah, after all the false endings and hair loss, I think I can officially say we're in the clear."

Her voice assumed a softer, calmer tone. "Well, I'm happy about that too among other things, but… I liked how you were worried about me."

"I… I care about you, Eri," I said simply. "Of course I would be concerned about my best friend's welfare. But what did you mean by 'among other things'?"

"Ehehe…" She buried her cheeks in her hands in an exaggerated display of bashfulness. "You did ask me to marry you."

"I didn't mean to say that! It was a mistake!" I hated how obvious red faces like mine right now could be!

"Any girl would be flattered if a decent guy asked for her hand in marriage. Trust me, it's a good thing! …Just don't do it on a regular basis if you don't mean it."

"What makes you think I'd pop the question everyday? !" Did I sound that desperate? ! "Anyway, since the case is closed, I'll be heading back home now. I'm exhausted and I definitely do not want to relive this nightmare again."

As I heaved myself to my feet, she seemed to hesitate. Standing up quickly, she blurted, "Oh, um, Neku…!"

"Hmmm? What is it now, Eri? I don't do encores, just so you know."

"No, that's not it. Are you free tomorrow?"

I gave my answer carelessly. "Yeah, I suppose I've got my schedule cleared for tomorrow. Why?"

"Are we still good for our date, then?"

It was here that I made a blunder no guy should make, romance newbie that I was. Luckily for me, Eri was a forgiving person.

"Uh… We got a date, Eri?"

Maybe not that forgiving… She jabbed her hands onto her hips and shot me a pronounced frown. "Are you telling me," she huffed, "that you forgot?"

That was the date that I had been trying to fix with her for the past few days but couldn't because of her busy schedule. In the midst of the latest nonsense involving Shiki's confession and the pregnancy scare, it must have completely slipped my mind. Whoops!

"Forgetting about such an important occasion… That's one hundred demerits for you, Neku! Dating's as important as breathing and eating and brushing your teeth! You'd do well to know that! And because you're the one who's been clamouring for this, that's all the more unforgivable. How do you plead, defendant?"

I half-laughed uncomfortably as I rubbed the back of my neck. Much of her chagrin was purposely inflated to instill in me the importance of a good memory. I had no real excuse for myself.

"Sorry, Eri… I got caught up in all these recent events. I still haven't decided where to go for tomorrow, I'm afraid, but I'll make it up to you somehow. Please don't stay too mad at me, is all I'm asking."

"You're repentant, I see. That's good." Her smile was slightly haughty, like she had just gained the upper hand in a battle. And just like that she was back to her usual self. "So! It's getting late and we haven't sorted out the details yet, so our next best option is to make our date a surprise."

"A surprise?" My whole body stiffened. "Should I be worried?"

"Don't you dare look down on me! I'm pretty rad when it comes to surprises! You just watch. Tomorrow's gonna be heaps of fun and you'll be worshipping me before you know it! Ohohoho!"

"Uh-huh… I'll be careful, don't worry."

"Tch! Such a wet blanket… Never mind. I'll be looking forward to seeing your groveling form, praising me to high heavens."

Heh… We'd have to see about that.

XOXOXOXOXO

I hopped into bed feeling good now that my little predicament had been fully resolved. Sure, it may have been a little on the stupid side but all's well that ends well. My mind was drained, my body was squeezed dry of its last ounce of energy, and heck, I just wanted to sleep.

Before I could get my well-deserved dreamtime, my cell phone rang, with the caller as Eri. Good heavens, what now?

"Neku? Are you asleep already?"

"No, not yet."

"Sorry, but I need you to do a small favour for me. It wouldn't take two minutes. Could you pop into your bedroom now?"

"I'm in here already. Why do you ask?"

There was a bashful giggle on the other end of the line. "Ehehe… My underwear should still be in there somewhere. I forgot to take it back. So, uh… could you hold onto it for now? I'll come back tomorrow to get it."

The blood boiled in my cheeks. How could she be so careless? She really could be one hell of a ditz, couldn't she!

I squawked, "Wh-Who forgets their _underwear? !_ A-And you're the one who's been jabbering on about having a good memory and stuff!"

"Ehe… sowwy! Oh, I think you might find them among your bed sheets. Be a darling and take a look around, will you? Pretty please?"

"…This is ridiculous, Eri. Of all the – "

Hey, what's this? My free hand was idly rummaging around my blanket and I came across an unfamiliar softness under my fingertips. Its texture was embossed – at least that's what it felt like – and it squished satisfyingly when I pressed on it. Quite a soothing feeling, actually. Except… when I took her words into account, and applied logic to them, there's really only one thing this alien thing could be. And when I whisked it out, I was right on the money.

"Did you find it, Neku?"

"Y-Y-Yeah. I, uh, salvaged your bra."

"Nice! My panties should be nearby."

A few moments of searching yielded the bottom half of what little decency she left behind. How I manage to find myself exposed to things like this practically every day… is beyond me. This girl… I swear she's a living, breathing strip show… and admission costs nothing except for two jugs' worth of nosebleeds.

"You found them? Great! Now, I know you must be excited to handle a girl's undergarments, and I trust you wouldn't do anything strange, but I still need you to promise one thing. Whatever you do, don't – "

I immediately spluttered, "I-I'm not going to sniff it! Give me a break!"

"What?" She sounded confused for a second. "No, no, I'm telling you not to damage it. That underwear's old, but it's still my favourite, remember? I still want to use it for a little longer… Um, you said something about sniffing?"

"Nothing! I didn't say anything!"

"Too bad," she snickered. "I heard what you said. You must be a super pervert to 'misunderstand' things so frequently. Hee hee!"

"Argh!"

Not again! Mental note to self: try to draw the right conclusions next time!


	21. I Made Her Cry

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 21)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Man… How did it come to this?

We were supposed to have a great date, Eri and myself. We were supposed to have fun.

But whatever happened to our delightful time? It shouldn't go like this… I mean, we just had a fight! Can you believe it? A fight! That's the last thing I'd even think of doing with her.

She hated me… Moments earlier I may have not liked her very much either but now I realized the error of my ways and I just wanted to patch things up with her. But it was too awkward at the moment to apologise. I was an idiot.

Again, how did it come to this? I'd have to wind back the clock for this one…

XOXOXOXOXO

"Remind me again why I have to pack my bags for our date today?"

Eri huffed and poked me on the forehead. "Remind _me_ why you're so forgetful?"

"I'm not forgetful," I replied. "You just haven't told me where we're going for our date and why we need to pack."

Her finger was still plastered to my head. "If I told you, wouldn't it spoil the fun? That's the idea of a surprise date."

"And if you're anything to go by, I should probably be worried."

She was not deterred one bit. With a haughty snort and her head held high, she said, "You're a downright cynical guy, you know that, Neku? But oh… just you wait. When you start having fun, you'll be glad I came up with the idea of going to a hot spring. But don't think I'm going to let you in on any secrets!"

I stared at her. "…You just did."

She paused like she was trying to process something in her head. Then when she realized where her grand plan had gone wrong, she gulped in totally ditzy fashion, "Well darn, cat's out of the bag, huh? Ehe…"

"So we're really going to an onsen (hot spring)?"

"Since you found me out, I don't see the point of hiding it any longer. So, yup, that's where we're going. There's a pretty decent one just on the outskirts of Shibuya and we have to take a train to get there. I've been there before on a number of occasions, so I know how good it is. You'll like it, Neku, that I can be sure!"

"A hot spring, huh? I dunno…"

"Is this shyness I detect?" she chuckled, nudging me in the arm affectionately. "Surely you can't _still_ be embarrassed by the sight of your best friend naked! We're practically bath buddies by now, aren't we?"

"Just because we've bathed together for all of _one_ time doesn't automatically make us bath bud… whatever." I sifted my breath through my teeth in a rather exasperated sigh. "I can't even start to imagine what you're going to do to me in the onsen later on."

"There are separate baths for men and women, you know."

Hearing that made me feel a little better. I totally forgot about that. "Ah, um, th-that's true. I thought for a moment there that you were going to drag me in together with you."

"Which is exactly what I'm going to do. Hee hee."

"Wh-What? !"

"What's the point of a date if we don't do things together? It defeats the whole purpose if we just do our own thing."

"It doesn't need to include baths…"

"Yes it does," she said firmly. "You're taking a soak with me and that's final."

I was all splutters and flecks of flying saliva. "What, in the women's bath? ! Not happening. I had nightmares infiltrating the women's washroom during the last Hachi Fest. You are _not_ making me do something like that again!"

Eri broke into laughter. "Oh Neku, you're such a hermit! There are mixed baths too. Men and women of all ages can mingle around freely with one another. I don't know it works, but apparently, getting people of the opposite sex in the same place naked has therapeutic effects."

I gulped. "Th-That bit about 'therapeutic effects' sounds shady…"

She sidled up beside me, real close. Quite obvious that she was in a cheeky mood; then again, that's pretty much a given most of the time. "At least it's fun! I'll be looking forward to our quality time. So…" – I could feel her breath as she whispered into my ear – "…please be gentle…"

I shuddered. "Exactly what do you mean by that? ! …E-Eri? !"

"Ha ha ha! Messing with your head never gets old."

"Eri, you always seem to have a never-ending stream of innuendos…"

She couldn't hold back anymore and launched herself at me in a big hug, all the while giggling like such the devil she was. I could have lost my balance and fallen over backwards. Man, can she really get out of control!

Having her around was most enjoyable, though. Not that I was a fan of having my hormones stirred up again and again without end, but… well, when you can find a fun girl like Eri, you don't really mind when she pokes fun at you. In fact, after a while, you kind of look forward to what she might come up with next. Could be worth a laugh or two. And a good memory.

"I only do this to you because you're cute, Neku."

"Huh?"

Her sweet perfume filled my nose as she squeezed me tighter. Vanilla smelt sexy on her… "I wish you'd tease me back though, 'cause that'd be nice. Two-way communication and all, you know?"

"Y-You mean I don't? Doesn't trading jibes with you count as teasing?"

"You're more sarcastic than you think," she hissed, "especially when you're deadpanning. That ain't teasing."

"Sorry… I'll be gentler next time."

"Eh, it's cool." Her vice-like embrace grew tighter. She always loved to invade people's personal bubbles of privacy with her physical closeness. That's alright to me, though… "There's always room for growth and improvement! Maybe in time you can joke around like I do. Then our husband-and-wife comedy act will be perfect. Right, honey?"

"Uh, yeah," I gulped. "I-I'll pass."

"Ugh. There!" she jabbed. "There's that sarcasm of yours at work again! Can't you play along for once? Come on, from the top. And this time, be a little more enthusiastic. Riiiiight? Honeeeeey?"

"Yes, ma'am."

The grunt of a sigh that followed showed she wasn't impressed but she resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn't be getting any witty responses from me anytime soon. I could tell from the tone in her voice that she didn't really mind, however, and that in its own way, our one-sided battles of wit were cute. These interactions of ours were what made life so much more colourful.

We're more than just friends; we were just that tiny little smidge less than lovers. Once we crossed that gap, there's nothing to prevent us from being lovey-dovey with each other. I'd be running into that opportunity with open arms! And then we could do all kinds of things together, such as this… and that… and…

"Come on, Neku! At least put in _some_ effort, even if it's a totally insignificant glob of one. …Um, why's your face red?"

"Er… the weather is kinda warm today."

"But it's autumn? Wow, for once it's not because – oh, I don't know – you have lusty thoughts flying around in your head! Hee hee!"

Saw right through me… Still, maybe I could get used to this comedy thing.

XOXOXOXOXO

Me and Eri in the hot spring, eh? I was nervous, that I couldn't deny. But at the same time, I couldn't wait to hop right in.

I was an onsen newbie, and seeing how pretty much every Japanese citizen has already set foot in one, I figured I should do the same. And what's not to like? Taking a bath with my precious gal pal… Which guy in his right mind wouldn't want that?

And who knows? Maybe we could get even closer… well beyond our peanut-butter-and-jam friendship.

My plan was to confess my feelings to Eri today, and fortunately the gods were kind. No one else was tagging along so we'd have each other's company all to ourselves. Even the location was perfect: a quaint little inn surrounded by peaceful suburban surroundings was even better of a mood-setter than the evening sunset-lit park I had always been envisioning. And as it was a public holiday tomorrow, there was no rush to get back the next day for classes.

All I needed were the right words to ignite that spark between us and…

Gosh, I needed that moment to happen now! But as I was as much a neophyte in romance as I was in public baths, I decided to pop by WildKat to cull some more pointers on how to ace the confession.

"What? !" gasped a thoroughly shocked Uzuki. "You and Eri are going to spend the night at an onsen? !"

I flinched from her outburst. "W-We're not going to spend the night in _that_ sense, if you know what I mean…"

Kariya gave me a slap on the back. "Damn, Phones, you Casanova! That's awesome. I knew you'd come through!"

"I gotta say, boss. Whatever you did, those were some slick moves." Even Mr H was impressed. But it was Eri who proposed the idea of a hot spring date and not me, and now I was getting praises from all sides for something I didn't do? Maybe I should clear things up with them.

"Whoa, wait a sec. Eri and I were in agreement that we should have a date soon, but it was her who suggested we do it at an onsen."

The opinions of Kariya and Mr H did not change and they were still visibly proud of me. Uzuki couldn't offer any words of praise quickly enough; she was apparently too busy trying to wrap her head around how a girl could ask a guy to get together with her in the bath without feeling any sort of revulsion.

The lollipop-sucking one continued, "Phones, it doesn't really matter who made the first move here. What's important is that the date is actually happening. Think about it this way: if she made the first move then she really wants to go out with you. She knows you're the guy for her, and she wants you to be her guy, and she is as sure as heck going to make sure it will become a reality. So you'd better take the necessary measures yourself and hasten things up between you two."

"Wh-What measures?"

"Kariya," sighed Uzuki, "please refrain from giving him weird advice, be it for your own entertainment or otherwise…"

"What're you talking about, girl?" He wiped his glasses with the hem of his parka. "I'm just helping a friend in need. I'm a pretty decent guy!"

"Decent guy, huh… Dubious claim at best…"

He ignored her and turned to me. "Here, Phones, I've got something for you. It's my secret weapon. Use it right and it'll drive your girl bananas. Trust me on this."

He slapped something into the palm of my hand. What could be so good and effective that it was a sure-fire –

…What the heck…

"Kariya, wh-why a condom?"

"Why? Heh… You'll just have to see for your – OW! Uzuki? ! Does your fist have a mind of its own? !"

"I told you not to do anything weird!" she seethed. "I knew you weren't serious about this!"

"But I am!" he insisted like a stubborn child. "If Neku gets romantic enough with Eri, good things might happen. I'm just doing my part to make sure he is at least prepared when the time comes. Or do you want him to go through another episode of fear and anxiety like yesterday's? Surely Uzuki Yashiro can't be this cruel now, can she?"

For once, Kariya had left her without a suitable counterargument. He did make sense, even if it was highly embarrassing. She couldn't say anything to refute the logic in his words. However, she did drive home to me the importance of common sense. "Fine. But Neku, for your sake and Eri's, and – well, for goodness' sake too actually – don't get too crazy, okay? If you get my drift. I know you're excited, but I'd suggest you wait until the two of you are ready…"

I felt a drop of blood plop onto the table. No prizes guessing whose nose it came from.

She continued, "…or at least until you can control your damn nosebleeds. Seriously."

Mr H handed me some tissues which, like clockwork by now, I stuffed into my nostrils. Silent the whole time, he finally spoke up, wiping the bloodied part of the table.

"I think you'll be just fine, Phones. Given your relationship with Eri, things should be smooth sailing. But girls are delicate creatures, so tread carefully."

Kariya seconded his every word. "Yup. What grandpa said!"

"Son," grunted Mr H darkly, "I am still in my fo – _early_ forties, if you must know."

"Heh heh… Whoops, my bad! Still, Phones… you didn't come all the way here just to boast about having a date with your girl, did you? I bet you're here to ask for help. Of course, I don't mind."

I nodded. "Yeah, I have to leave for the train station in about a couple of hours, so I was hoping for some last-minute pointers."

There was a notable lack of enthusiasm coming from Uzuki. She was probably fed up with my dithering and procrastinating.

"More love advice?" she sighed. "Haven't we been through this a dozen times by now? I'm no agony aunt…"

"I-It's like a refresher course," was my reason for pestering them. "Can't hurt to reinforce what I've learnt, right?"

Kariya gave a sharp nod. "Damn straight, man. I'll go first. Look, it's important to strike a good impression throughout the date, but it's even more important to be yourself. Eri wouldn't – well, actually any girl wouldn't like it if you try to be someone you're not. Sooner or later they can see through your act."

"Thanks, Kariya. I heard that before though. In fact, it was Mr H who told me. Like, way back."

"Really? Heh, way to steal my thunder, old-timer!"

Mr Hanekoma cast an even sharper frown his way. "I told you I'm still in my – ah, never mind. Say, sister, why don't you go next, and I'll wrap things up after you. I'll be busy thinking of ways to get back at this young squirt until then."

"Oh, um, me? W-Well…" Uzuki's turn, huh… Her words had a sting to them that could take a lot of getting used to if you didn't know how she worked, but if you could filter out all of the unnecessary sarcasm, there were times when she could be the most sensible one of the three, surprising as that may sound.

At last there was a reply from her, "I think I've gone over this before but girls like it if you take the initiative. So get proactive. Don't wait for it to happen. _Make_ it happen."

"Well said!" Kariya's head looked like it was about to come off from his nodding so much… "Don't forget, you've got my secret weapon to help you out if you're in a bind – "

"That's not what I'm talking about, you pervert. Besides, you're rushing things."

Now I was scared his neck would dislocate from shaking his head like that… "This isn't about rushing things, girl. Think about it! It takes a special relationship and the right amount of affection for a guy and girl to go on a trip to the hot spring all by themselves. These onsen outings don't happen often, see? Only once in a very blue moon. So you've got to seize the moment while you can. Given how close they are though, it probably wouldn't be that hard at all to get them to 'marinade' overnight…"

The nosebleed was getting even more uncontrollable now. Since when did this conversation become like this? All I wanted was something to boost my confidence and here we were discussing the finer points of… you know.

Uzuki herself handed me some tissues, a first from her. "Kariya, I'm going to bleach that brain of yours when we get back."

Now it was Mr Hanekoma's turn. So what did the great old… well, great not-that-old sage have to say?

"Phones, always remember… Pluto is not a planet."

My Reaper buddies and I had blank stares for him in exchange for his words of "wisdom". Then it was just like Uzuki, who was not one to tolerate anything that made no sense to her, to speak up first.

"The heck is that supposed to mean? !"

"Chill, everyone," laughed Mr H. "I was just joking with that last bit. If you want to hear what I really wanted to say, it's this: Phones, make sure you have fun."

More silence.

Again Uzuki displayed her lack of patience. "Er, I'll say it once more… The heck is that supposed to mean? !"

"H-Hey, I wasn't joking this time! That _is_ the advice! 'Make sure you have fun!'"

"How will that help me?" I asked. "I mean, isn't that a no-brainer?"

"Sure, at a glance. But, no offence by the way, you've always struck me as such a nervous, neurotic guy." – Damn, so Eri's not the only person who thinks of me that way too? – "I know you're eager to get the confession right and perfect and everything, but if getting anxious about it is all you intend to do and you ignore the most important concept of this date – to have fun – then wouldn't your time with Eri go to waste?"

"So you're saying I should relax more and worry less? I'm not worrying, per se… I'm just rehearsing what I should tell Eri when the time comes. A guy's got to think."

"Then you're thinking too much. Think a little less and go with the flow. You're more capable of a good confession than you might think. Most times our fears are unfounded, and so are yours."

"You gotta let your hair down, man!" added Kariya. "Don't take life too seriously. Sometimes you've got to go with the flow and let life take its natural course."

Uzuki frowned. "In that case, you follow your own advice a little too closely for your own good. I'd appreciate it if you put some more effort into your job."

"And you put in too much. Come on, you haven't even taken a break in forever! What say we follow Phones' example and hit up an onsen? Just the two of us, of course."

That caused her to choke on her lychee smoothie. She spluttered and coughed like a busted car engine. "Huh? ! Why… Why would I… with you? ! Do you think I'm that desperate? !" Wow… Her face was starting to glow the same colour as her strawberry hair…

Her slacker pal was laughing, knowing he had attacked the chink in her armour. "Don't worry! You don't need to fight it. We're all human. I know just how you feel! Here, I'll even give you another secret weapo– OW? ! There's no need to hit me; I'm helping you here!"

"I don't want it! Pervert! ! !"

And so our little advice corner ended with Kariya in a brutal headlock.

That was my cue to exit. As poor Mr H tried his best to dispel the violence and keep his customers for the day, he wished me luck.

"You can do it," he said with a strained smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lovers' quarrel on my hands and it's affecting my business."

Uzuki didn't take that too well… "What do you mean, 'lovers' quarrel'? !"

…and her victim took the brunt of it. "Girl, my arm doesn't bend that waAYAYAY! ! ! Stop it! Uncle, uncle!"

"Thanks, Mr H," I mumbled, well on my way out of there, "and if she isn't too busy killing him, tell them I said thanks, too."

XOXOXOXOXO

With my spirits high and my confession good to go with flying colours, let's skip the two-hour train ride and get right to the meat of the matter.

"Nice place, eh?" chirped Eri. "It's cheap too!"

This was where we would spend our two days and a night: a rustic one-room affair with nothing more than a dressing table and a pair of futons. Yet such was an example of the many simple pleasures of a traditional Japanese hot spring inn. It was a welcome change of scenery from the city was I born and raised in.

My knapsack greeted the floor with a careless thud. "It feels comfortable enough, lack of furnishing notwithstanding."

"What it lacks in interior design, it makes up for in its facilities. Of course, the hot spring is the main draw."

Two days and a whole night to spend together with Eri… This was going to prove fun! Mr H, Kariya, Uzuki… You wouldn't have put up with me for nothing. I would definitely put your advice to good use! And next time we meet, you'll see the fruits of my hard work. When I pay my next visit to WildKat, it'll be with Eri by my side. Just think of the compliments I'd be getting!

…Or maybe they'd roll their eyes and go, "Took you long enough."

Oh well, I shouldn't mind too much about that. Either way, I wouldn't lose! By today or tomorrow, I'd be a sure winner.

The trick was to impress Eri without coming across as too weird. I had to act my normal self, nice and casual. Come to think of it, all I needed to do was to act like I usually did around her, and while I always took pains to pay attention to her, now I resolved to double my efforts. She's a smart girl. Definitely not thick-headed. She'd _have_ to notice that I was a hard worker.

"Hey Eri," I said warmly, "you must be famished after that train ride. Wanna go find someplace to eat? I'm sure there's a nice eatery around here."

"Oh yes there is!" She was beaming like the sun. "There's one that sells great ramen at bargain prices. And it's not too far away. C'mon, I'll take you there!"

"Do you know your way around here?"

"Yeah. I've been to this inn a few times with my buddies, so it's only natural that I'd know about the neighbourhood a bit. Now let's go… Hungry stomachs are best not left as they are!" Then she grabbed me by the wrist and zipped out the entranceway, with me stumbling behind her and trying to catch up.

Here I was trying to be proactive like Uzuki told me to and she was taking the lead. But I told myself to be patient. My time to shine would come soon…

Little did I know, the path to blissful romance would be a far rockier one than I imagined…

XOXOXOXOXO

"So, uh, where are we again, Eri?"

"That's funny…" she mumbled, scratching her head, "I could've sworn it was around here somewhere…"

"Are you even sure? We've been circling this area for the past half hour… and my legs feel like jelly."

The two of us had been walking around the neighbourhood looking for the ramen shack that she claimed had cheap delicious noodles. However, we had taken a great many twists and turns and still we ended up in the same back street. And that was the fourth time. There was only one conclusion I could draw from our tiresome journey:

"We're lost, aren't we, Eri?"

She gave a slight start, like those were the words she didn't want to hear. But she vehemently insisted that we were fine. That's some massive denial there…

"We're not lost!" she gulped. "We just… uh… encountered a short-term setback, that's all! We're a little off track, sure, but definitely _not_ lost. Uh-uh. Yup."

Most of the time I could deal with her but now I was starting to get irritated. The hunger didn't annoy me so much as her lack of planning did. She was the kind of person who lived much of her life on spontaneity: her best and worst ideas arose from thinking about them on the go. But this wasn't anything like that. It was just gross incompetence.

"Eri, do you even know your way around here like you claim you do? Seriously…"

She struggled to defend herself. "I… I've been here before, honest… But, well, I guess it really has been a long time since my last trip here, hasn't it… Memory's a little hazy…"

"For all you know there isn't a ramen shop for miles around these parts."

"No way! We just need to keep looking. I'm sure it's here somewhere!"

I slumped against a nearby lamp-post, exhausted. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that. Maybe we should just skip the ramen thing. It's turning dark, so we should really get back to the inn."

A tinge of disappointment crossed her face at my quick dismissal of plans. "B-But…"

Normally I don't talk to her this harshly, but I guess spending thirty minutes doing nothing useful was taking their toll on me and now I just wanted to go back to our room and rest. Eri really wanted to have ramen together with me, but all I did was snub her flatly. Ugh… not a good way to talk to someone whom you wanted to have a romantic relationship with…

Before I could offer a quick apology, a pickup truck pulled up right next to us. The driver – some young guy with a short ponytail and a lanyard round his neck – wound down his window and stuck his head out to greet us. Or rather her.

"Hoi," he called, "fancy seeing you here."

Eri gasped. "F-Futoshi… is that you? It _is_ you!"

I became confused. "Huh? Eri, what's going on? Do you know this guy?"

"His name is Futoshi," she explained, "and, well, he was one of my first boyfriends."

Eri had a lot of boyfriends in the past. Up until recently, she had been hopping from one to another, but it must be made clear here that it wasn't because she got tired of them easily; she just had crud for luck when it came to finding good ones. The ones she ended up with almost always had some sort of attitude problem that she'd put up with for at most three months before she gave them the boot.

And this Futoshi fellow… was one of them. What kind of character was he? Incidentally, had I seen him before? Maybe it's déjà vu, but anyway…

"What're you doing here?" he asked. "You lost or something?"

"Kinda, yeah," she replied. "We were on our way to this ramen shop, and it's supposedly around here somewhere, but we can't find it."

"If it's Ishikawa Noodle Place you're looking for, it's not too far away. In fact, it's on the way, so if you want, I can give you two a lift."

Eri was ecstatic. "That'd be great! C'mon Neku, our ramen awaits!"

"Wait, wait." Futoshi held up his hand. "Uh, there isn't enough space for the two of you. One of you will have to get in the back…"

"Huh? ! This isn't one of those trucks with double passenger seats, is it?"

"'Fraid not."

"You mean we can't all fit in even if I sit on Neku's lap? !"

I spluttered. "H-How is that even going to work? !"

Despite her ludicrous proposal, Futoshi was polite enough not to laugh, though a slight smile sneaked onto his lips. "Sorry, Eri and… Neku, was it? I know you're trying to be economical, but it's not going to happen. Not when elbow space is at a premium."

I didn't have a lot of options to consider. Futoshi was an old love of Eri's, and his past relationship with her might prove to be a roadblock for me. It wasn't about him being bitter over their breakup that worried me, but rather that their chance meeting might reignite that spark of romance between them once more. You never know. He might end up being a rival for me, and that's the last thing I wanted right now. And if getting her to sit next to him would make them closer by even a marginal amount, it might derail my chances further.

Nevertheless I did the gentlemanly thing and let the lady have the seat. "Eri, get in the front. I'll hop in the back."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "If it's too much trouble, I can sit in the b– "

I ushered her to the passenger seat. "Go on, take it. It's just going to be a short while so I'll be alright. Besides, a girl dressed to paint the town red would look awfully weird bobbing up and down in the back of a pickup truck."

She snorted in amusement. "Pfft, ha ha ha! You drive home a strong point there, Neku. Right! You get to that while I do my best looking pretty in the front. Might as well do some catching up with ol' Futoshi here while I'm at it."

"I don't mind," said our trucker friend, and though he had a naturally flat tone in his voice, it was clear from the subtle clues in his body language that he was going to enjoy her company.

And he did. Listening to them talk about old times so heartily made me feel uncomfortable, as though every second she spent with him was pulling her away from me. It wasn't quite the end of the world, but when you're a socially awkward guy and your chances for romance are hanging by a thread, it may very well seem that way.

XOXOXOXOXO

Dinner was punctuated with the crystalline sound of Eri's laughter.

"Ha ha ha! Really? !"

"Yeah," said Futoshi, "Shiori slapped him right in the middle of public. Everyone was staring as she was storming away. And just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder, guess what?"

"What?" She was hanging onto his every word.

"She stopped abruptly, stomped back to him and gave him another hefty slap before she was finally satisfied."

"Ha ha ha! That's Shiori for you: as fearsome as she was in high school! She doesn't change, does she?"

"Heh… She doesn't. Don't think she ever will."

Thanks to Futoshi, I was able to finally reach Ishikawa Noodle Place together with Eri and sample the ramen that she claimed was so "out-of-this-freaking-world" as she had so put it. And she was right. It really was a pleasure to eat. No regrets here.

Thing is, why did he have to tag along and ruin my date? ! I get that he wanted to treat us both to dinner while he was here, but… this was my chance to have my precious time with Eri.

Apparently he was her classmate from a previous school. He was relating stories about their friends and updating her on what's up with them. She was all ears, but I failed to relate and appreciate because they were talking about something I never had a part in from the beginning.

Why did this discomfort feel so familiar? It didn't take long for me to realize, in dismay, that it was the exact same feeling I had some months back when I found out Shiki had a boyfriend. I remember how she got all cozy and snuggly with him and how it made me sick. I sank into a spell of depression after that. Thankfully Eri was kind enough to pull me out of it.

But now it was going to happen again! It just might. I wasn't ready to lose another shot at bagging myself a girlfriend!

In the meantime, I tried to take part in the conversation they were having so much fun with, but as the odd one out, every attempt I made to reintegrate myself into our little group fell limp and failed. I just couldn't fit in. It frustrated me to see the two of them get along so well. Sure, they were once lovers, I get that, but…

"Are you still chasing that dream of yours, Futoshi?" asked Eri.

"Oh, that dream?"

"You want to be a professional baseball player, don't you? It's always been your goal since, like, forever."

He chuckled briefly. "Nah, I kinda gave up on it."

Eri was surprised at his reply. "What? But it's your hobby, right? Why else would you participate in the baseball club back in school?"

"Well, I just did 'cause, you know… I wanted something to do, or something like that. But anyway, baseball just ain't my cup of tea now. I'm moving onto other things. Like making money."

She laughed. "Everyone wants to do that."

"I'm still a truck driver, but I'll be a millionaire in a few years – hmmm, I might have set my sights a little too high for that one. Perhaps a thousand-aire for the time being."

"Thousand-aire… Pahaha! That's a nice one! At least that's a start! I hope you get loaded so you can treat us to more free ramen."

He saw the humour in her words and laughed along with her. I would have, too, if I didn't feel so isolated. It almost felt like I wasn't even there. Eri, surely you couldn't have forgotten about me…?

"Speaking of dreams," he said, "what about you, Eri? You're still going strong with your fashion streak, eh?"

"Oh, of course. Ah, that's right! Just the other day my college had this surprise visit from one of the bigwigs behind – get this – D+B! Is that cool or what? !"

"That is pretty awesome. What happened then?"

They talked and talked and talked about something I didn't have the slightest inkling about. Fashion was my weakest point, and one I couldn't care less about. What was I to say, I ask you? For the rest of dinner I could only eat and listen.

XOXOXOXOXO

Futoshi was a saint tonight. He picked us up when Eri and I were wandering around like lost puppies. He paid for our dinner and now he even took the trouble to drive us back.

But his generosity came at a price. With him in tow the whole time I didn't even get to show off my manly side to Eri. I should be the one to escort her around, and foot the bill, and impress her. Futoshi stole the limelight from me, and she paid more attention to him while I was left feeling like an alien. I didn't want to have to experience this feeling again…

The final twist in the wound happened when he dropped us off at the inn.

"Thanks, Futoshi," said Eri. "That was a big help!"

"Anytime. Hey, you know, Eri, it's been so long since we last met. How about we hang out sometime? I'm interested to know what's new on your side, but we didn't have the time today to talk about everything."

The cheek of this guy… He's trying to hit on her again, wasn't he? And in front of _me_, no less!

She gave him a big smile. "Yeah, sounds good! We got each other's phone numbers, so if ever I'm free, I'll give you a call." Wait, what? ! Eri, you didn't have to – oh, dammit!

"Well, I gotta rush. Be seein' ya, babe. Ciao, Neku."

And when he shot me that farewell salute, done so casually and in such an easy-going manner, I thought I saw a look of triumph. A look that insinuated that he was the better suitor for her, and not me. Like he was trying to say, "I win."

Or it could be that he had no intention of pursuing her at all and that he really just wanted to go back to being friends. Really, though… of all the days to bump into her ex!

His truck thundered off into the night, leaving the two of us to retire to our room. Eri had kind words to speak of Futoshi, words that I'd be better off not hearing.

"It was awfully nice of him to give us a ride and treat us to dinner, huh, Neku?"

"Uh-huh…"

"When I first met Futoshi, he was a moody immature twerp, but he's a much better person now. It's good to know that even the worst of people can change."

"Yeah. That's… good. It's good."

Eri heard the lethargy in my tone and took notice. "What's wrong, Neku? You look down."

"N-No, I'm… just a little tired from all the walking." I couldn't very well tell her the real reason…

"Tired, you say? That's great to hear!"

I frowned at her. "How is that great?"

"Because the solution to getting rid of tiredness is right here. Don't you think it's high time we took a dip already? Baths are known to revitalize and rejuvenate!"

"B-Bath?"

So it's finally come down to this. The main attraction of our little date. My first time at an onsen. I haven't even been used to the men's section and already I found myself about to be thrust headlong into a mixed bath at Eri's insistence. Any guy would have to fight tooth and nail for the opportunity to bathe together with a pretty girl like herself, and here I got the chance for free and with zero effort! In the end it all boils down to whether the girl is willing or not, and here she's practically forcing me to join her. What luck!

The only thing I had reservations about was how my nose would act up in the face of her freely exposed skin. She might not find my ridiculous nosebleeds too strange by now but everyone else who was sharing the bath would. Or they might snigger and say, "Ohhh, someone's never been to an onsen before…"

Otherwise, this was one fantastic chance I simply could not pass up. Suddenly, all the earlier tension from watching her interactions with Futoshi melted away and my spirits began to improve again.

"Overly neurotic people like you ought to give it a shot," she sniggered. "Man, I can't believe we're even talking now when we should already be in there soaking!"

"Um…"

Her words were slathered with impatience. "And why are you hesitating after we've come all the way here? ! After you agreed to come with? ! After you've been suppressing all those lustful dreams of the two of us soaping each other up good? !"

I felt a jolt in my system. She did not just say that! She did not just –

"_Oh Neku, you naughty little monkey! Thinking of copping a feel, are you?"_

_In a good mood, was she? I decided to get bolder. If she was fine with it, it wouldn't be too bad if I went a little further… Just a little at a time… until…_

"_And I can't? Heh heh… Eri, this is payback for all the years of teasing. From high school till college, it's been non-stop coming from you. What's that saying, by the way? 'What goes around comes around'?"_

_Her body, smeared with soap and bubbles, gave a shudder. She found me scary now. Ooh, I liked that._

"_You… Y-You can't possibly…"_

_The chuckles wouldn't stop in my head as I began to envision how I should torture her for the evening. "There's no escape. You should probably start preparing yourself… Take this for starters!"_

"_N-Neku, wait – angh? !" Her voice trembled and shook and sounded so delicious. "Wh-Where are you sponging? ! Sh-Shtop…!"_

…That was my imagination, by the way.

"I do not have dreams like that, Eri," I said assertively. "I most definitely do not."

Eri cringed at the torrents of blood gushing out of my nose. "If you don't, you most likely do now. That's a bit much for a reaction, even for you…"

"When you say that, I don't know whether to laugh or cry…"

"Oh well, I'm sure you'll get used to the nudity in time." She smiled broadly as she wedged tissues up my nostrils. "No one's going to stare at you for being naked because they're the same. And I'll be naked together with you so don't worry!"

"S-Stop saying the word 'naked', please! ! !"

"Well anyway, we _are_ dating. We've got to look and act the part of a couple, otherwise we simply aren't. Plain and simple. And even when you've been freaking out over every little thing, it's not like you're complaining. At all."

That's true. She got me good…

"So there." And she jabbed me in the nose with her finger. Ouch. "Now let's hop in the bath already! Then after we find a nice quiet corner away from all the other people, we can flirt as much as we want!"

"Flirting while bathing? ! S-Sounds sleazy to me…"

"Neku, what did I just say about dating?"

I gulped. I knew better than to go against her so I let her win this round, to avoid conflicts of the stupid and unnecessary kind.

"Be like a real couple, even when we aren't. We're just pretending. I got it, ma'am."

Listening to my own words got me thinking. Was that all we were and could ever be? A fake couple? Fake lovers? I wanted us to go out for real, but we haven't gotten to that stage yet. It ate at me how I was so close to my goal yet so far away at the same time. We've done so many things together: dinner, movies, cooking lessons… but it was not much good. Eri simply still saw us as two friends who go on what we call dates for the fun of it, not because there were any real emotions behind them or anything.

…Did Eri's smile just droop a little? She was mumbling something. I couldn't quite hear it, but –

"Alright!" she snapped, the life suddenly back in her. "I'm glad you understand what I expect of you out of this. So I'll see you there, yeah?"

"Huh? Hey, wait up – "

One moment she was standing there and the next she had vanished down the corridor like a whirlwind.

Time to go, then. It's bath time. She'd be waiting for me, and there was no excuse she'd accept. Might as well get going.

I had to admit that what she was saying to herself got me interested. Her voice was too soft to hear anything, but judging from the words she was silently mouthing, I think it was:

"But I don't want us to pretend, Neku…"

Wow, really? Could it mean that she was…?

Hmmm. Now I was curious. Very, _very_ curious.

XOXOXOXOXO

My hands were shaking like leaves as I stared at the curtains. They covered the top half of the doorway that led right to the mixed bath. The exposed bottom half was enshrouded in steam. Beyond this barrier of condensation and mystery lay the dreams of every self-respecting hot-blooded man…

Frolicking in the same bath with a posse of beautiful girls as naked as they are!

Bliss! Excitement! Nosebleeds the size of tidal waves!

And for me, there's still one more reason: Eri. Yes, my cute, interesting and very luscious friend was going to spend the evening with me and only me. And I'd have her all to myself.

Without restrictions! Without inhibitions! Without clothes!

Agh… No good… Getting too excited… Haven't even stepped inside and the tension was this thick already. Eri was really looking forward to this, though, so I had to do my best!

Well, then… Heaven, here I come! …Provided I don't pass out first.

I parted the curtains as I went through, robbed of my vision by a wall of steam. The heat slammed into my face and I nearly got disoriented, but when it cleared there was an eye-opener in store for me.

If it weren't for the setting and the place, I'd have thought I had stumbled upon a party. Nudity was taboo in society but apparently not here. Men and women alike were gathered together, talking and making it seem like everything was normal. …Maybe it _was_ normal. And that I was the fish out of water who wasn't.

My eyes were straining to pick out a certain pink-haired lass amidst the crowd. There was a pretty girl here and another one there, but they didn't hog too much of my attention. Eri's the only one for me. If I was going to stare, it might as well be at her. …Ugh, what was I saying…

"Neku!"

Her voice… She found me. Ah! There she was, her hair wrapped in a bun to keep it from getting in the water. No wonder I couldn't recognize her immediately. Despite her changed appearance, she was as beautiful as ever. If Cupid was nearby, he must be launching entire salvos of arrows into my heart. I was hopelessly mesmerized.

Eri's excitement upon seeing me got the better of her. She forgot about herself and rose from the water, waving me over.

"Coo-ee!" she chirped. "Over here!"

Countless pairs of eyes turned to look and gawk. Gah! The idiot! Why didn't she cover herself up with her towel before she stood up? ! Where did she think she was, my house? ! I closed the distance in two seconds and hastily slapped my towel over her body, holding it in place just above her bosom.

"What the heck are you doing? !" I hissed, trembling like crazy. "Have some common sense, will you? !"

"Oh, right! Hee hee… whoops!"

"D-Don't 'whoops' me, man… You just about gave me a heart attack! Now settle down and get back in the – "

In trying to protect her modesty, I forgot about mine. I _did_ use my towel, after all. Those who were still staring quickly shifted their sights to the next most obvious thing. Even Eri herself couldn't help but look.

I quickly ducked the two of us into the water. But as you can guess, it was already too late…

There were a few large rocks jutting out of the water for decorative purposes and I spied a relatively unpopulated spot some ways off that we could hide behind and take a breather. I grabbed Eri by the wrist and dragged her off there, so at least for the duration of the bath I wouldn't feel like such an idiot. For the most part, anyway. Goodness, I was so mortified I forgot to stay mad at her.

Eri was apologetic. "S-Sorry…"

I knew the answer. I knew the answer to the question I was itching to ask her. But I hoped against hope that I was wrong.

"Eri…"

"Mmm?"

"Did you… Did you see…?"

She paused, trying her hardest to put together the most tactful words possible into a reply. And she failed.

"L-Let's just say you were pitching one heck of a tent, Neku…"

I froze.

"I… I think I'll die now."

Eri renewed her efforts to put me at ease. "Neku, it's alright! Don't, um, feel too bad about it! In an onsen, this kind of thing happens on a regular basis anyway, so no one minds! Catching sight of somebody's… er, this… or that… is nothing strange. Everyone's the same as you, so even when they see you, it's like, whatever, right? !"

In a further attempt to take the sting out of my two-minute stint as a stripper, she decided to change topics. "It's not the end of the world! We got in the bath together and you even found us a nice private spot, just like we planned."

I felt fingers groping around my hand. They curled around it and she gave a squeeze.

Beneath the water surface she… we… we were…!

With a soft smile and a growing blush that could drive men mad, she whispered, "Feels good, doesn't it? Holding hands, I mean."

My heartstrings were being stretched to their limit! All of my embarrassment disappeared in the blink of an eye and was replaced by a… more enjoyable kind of embarrassment.

The clincher was simple yet effective. "Hee hee… Neku, I feel good when I'm with you."

That did it. My heart burst open like a bouquet of roses. Like an explosion of popcorn. Like fireworks in a summer festival. I could take it no longer! So I didn't. I grabbed her by the shoulders, startling her into silence. She lay trapped and vulnerable before me as I pressed her gently against the rocks. All the while I made unflinching eye contact. We were the centre of attention again but I didn't care one bit, a far cry from earlier. This time… This time I was going to get it right!

Eri was so beautiful. Her skin was smooth and silky and longed to be caressed. And her neck… Normally it was buried within sheets of strawberry locks, but now that they were tied up I could see how slender and delicate it was. The water dripping down her face looked so… palatable. It was all I could do to restrain myself from licking it off. And her cleavage was –

Okay, I'll stop there. There's work to be done. Very important work!

That's right… This was the moment where I…

…_pushed her down!_

"Eek? !" Even Eri's screams were divine to listen to. "Neku, w-wait? !"

There was no pair of eyes that wasn't directed our way now. A few were polite enough to leave so thank goodness for small heavens. The entire _place_ was staring at us! Yet, as horrifying as it must be for Eri and whatever sliver of sanity still remained in me, I… I couldn't back down. All I wanted was to show her how much I loved her and this was the only way I could think of to get the deed done effectively.

Maybe a little too effectively. No words were exchanged between us but the glaze in her eyes spoke volumes about how receptive she was to my advances.

More people scooted out of the bath. Pretty soon it was deserted and we had it all to ourselves. Nobody would come to disturb us now. Victory was mine.

"Neku… Angh, you animal! That… That area is… ticklish… Ngh…"

"Eri…"

"Oh Neku!" she screamed, embracing me tightly. "I love you!"

…By the way, all of the above starting from the moment she held my hand till this was another delusion created in my head. Yeah… it never happened.

I guess even when your dream girl has an outrageous fun-loving nature, certain things like holding hands and kissing don't come so easily. If you want something, you'll have to ask for it, but even then there's no guarantee of success. What's important is that you at least give it a shot rather than wait and get nothing. Playing safe is fine – no one will fault you for it if you're a greenhorn in dating – but I've been doing that for far too long I couldn't stand it. If anything, Eri's the more proactive one between us!

Alright! I was going to reach out for her hand and hold it. Eri liked me plenty, so I hoped she wouldn't get mad when I tried.

"Liking the atmosphere so far, Neku?" asked Eri.

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah… Bathing is quite an experience."

It was impossible to see beneath the water surface, so I had to feel around for her hand blind. I couldn't offer anything more than stock comments to our conversation as I was too distracted to listen closely. It didn't take long for Eri to grow aware and tired of the "uh-huh's" and "yup's" that I was throwing out.

"Oi," she grumbled, "Neku, are you even listening to me?"

"Wh-Wha…? Of… Of course I'm listening!" Was I about to be busted? !

"What's the matter? Your face looks red. Is the heat already getting to you? But it's only been five minutes…"

I laughed it off as nonchalantly as I could possibly appear to be. "This… This is nothing! Geez, Eri, you're such a worrywart. Ahaha…" Come on, man… Just a little further… Sucks that I couldn't see a thing! Where _was_ her hand anyway? !

And then just when I thought it was getting to be too much trouble, my fingers grazed her skin. Oh snap, that was her hand, wasn't it? ! Eri gave a start upon being touched, but this was no time to back down. I curled my fingers around gently, waiting for her to get the message and reciprocate… Surely she'd want to do the same thing with her favourite guy, right?

It didn't happen. Why… Why was her hand… so big? This couldn't be the result of one of those optical illusions where things look distorted underwater, could it – no, that's just silly! I tried to find her fingers, but all I got was her palm. I get that most people's palms are somewhat smooth but hers was like a baby's bottom. How come it felt like that…?

Eri was growing red. Did I put her out that much?

"N-Neku!" she yelped. "Stop it, please! You're… You're groping my thigh!"

What? ! I grabbed the wrong thing? ! The moment I freed her from my grip she instinctively curled up like a pillbug, knees to her chest. I smothered her with an avalanche of apologies, waving my hands like a windmill.

"Sorry, Eri! I… I didn't mean to do that! It was a mistake! I swear, I wasn't trying to do anything funny. I was just, um, uh – "

Oh no… Not only was her face deep red, she wasn't looking at me. Was she mad? Mr H was right: no matter what her personality was, no matter how silly she may be, a girl was a delicate thing, best handled with care and a pinch of salt. You never know how she might react to your foolish actions.

Just when I was convinced my life had taken a turn for the terrible, in a curious twist, she grabbed one of my hands that were still flailing. And she interlocked our fingers together. It threw me off guard and my mind went blank for a second.

"Neku," she mumbled, "if you really want to hold my hand, you could've just asked. You're okay in my book so… I don't mind."

What the… I was let off the hook that easily? Any other girl would slap me to death, but then again Eri and I were special to each other, which would explain why she was a lot more lenient with me. No, lenient wasn't quite the word. Lax, more like!

On a more important note, though, we were holding hands! We were actually _holding hands!_ Finally after so many years I finally got to know what it was like to do that with a girl I liked! This was fantastic!

"Gee, um, sorry again about your thigh. And thanks for not thinking of me as some creep."

She beamed good-naturedly. "Don't worry about it. We're cool! I know you didn't have any ulterior motives." Then, in a hushed voice she added surreptitiously, "Besides, I was just thinking of feeling you up a little myself to tease you, so… yeah, we're even."

"H-Huh? ! You… You wanted to molest me? !"

"The chest!" she snapped frantically. "Don't get me wrong! I'm just curious and I want to touch your abs a bit!"

"The chest is not the same as the abdominals, Eri… Get your biology lessons right. Seriously, you get weirder the more I talk to you."

"Well, at least I don't grope thighs."

"Like I said, I wasn't planning on groping your – !"

Why… Why was everyone staring? They heard me, huh? It's funny how the things you want people to hear the least come out the clearest. And the loudest. All they needed to hear was the word "grope" and I'd be a magnet for suspicious looks. Gah… why the heck did this even happen?

I sank so low that only half of my tomato-red head could be seen above the water surface. "Eri, if you don't mind, I'd like to drop this topic now."

"Then I win this round. Heh!" Don't make it sound like you've accomplished something…

Our idiotic exchanges caught the attention of a particular bath-goer who, after some consideration, strode over. It was a girl about Eri's age, and judging from the way she greeted her when she approached, she must be a friend of hers too.

"Eri!" she said. "It _is_ you!"

A smile of acknowledgement spread across Eri's face as she recognized her. "Oh my god! I haven't seen you since ages ago! How have you been?"

What followed was a string of giggles and girl talk. It's standard practice to not stay in the bath for too long because you might get heatstroke that way, so we didn't really have a lot of, so to speak, "skin time" for ourselves. The appearance of this nosy gal pal of hers was a welcome surprise to Eri, but for me it just meant that I couldn't spend as much time with her as I was planning to.

The girl noticed me finally and quipped, "Is this your newest boyfriend, Eri?"

"Newest" and "boyfriend" didn't really mesh well together… It's like I was just another addition to a line of one-time suitors.

"Oh, he's just a friend," replied Eri, "but a really close one! We hang out a lot."

"That's really sweet… which reminds me, my pals and I are gonna have a mixer soon. We managed to pull some strings together and now we've got the boys from Ichijou College of Commerce raring to come along. Good stuff, huh? Wanna come with?"

A mixer? To my dismay, she became a bundle of excitement upon hearing that. "The guys from the ICC are coming? ! I heard they're a pretty interesting bunch!"

"I know, right? The mixer's this Saturday. Can't hurt to get to know a few more friends, if you know what I'm saying?"

Eri was squealing together with her friend about the prospects of meeting some charming fellows from another college. But what did she have to be so excited about? Hey, wasn't she the one who said we were going to be like a couple for this date? Then why was she openly expressing interest in other men when I was the only one she should be looking at, pretend or not? ! It's a matter of principle, right? !

I thought Eri and I had this bond… this special relationship between bosom buddies. And we did, or I thought we did, but was I wrong to think we'd be like this forever? She was still single and I was sure she longed, of all things, for another boyfriend.

The terrible feelings from today's events resurfaced and my dwindling self-confidence began to twist my way of thinking. Everything was painted in a bad light. All this time, when Eri was teasing me and getting all bubbly and super-friendly… Was I just a stopgap until she found Mr Perfect? And that she'd dump me once he came into her life?

No, no! She had always loved sticking around by my side ever since we met in high school, and even back then, she had lots of boyfriends. She had always liked me… and even now her feelings never changed. And she had always been a good friend; she'd be there for me, and I her.

But I was too blinded to see that. All I could see in front of me was betrayal and a sense of loss. When you think you're this close to success, only to find your hopes dashed because the girl you love isn't really that into you, the frustration just froths over. Especially when you've failed in love once before.

Eri was so absorbed with chatting with her pal that she completely forgot about me. Again. I didn't like this. Listening to her talk about boys was getting on my nerves, so I decided that it would be best for me to leave.

I tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. "Hey, Eri. It's getting a little too warm for me in here, so I'll get out for now."

"Huh? But you've been in here for only a while…"

"Sorry, gotta go." Dammit, why did I have to be so curt? I didn't have to be like this just because I didn't like the way Eri was now.

Was the look of disappointment on her face genuine or a really good imitation of one? I didn't know anymore.

"Okay, Neku," she said kindly. "You'd better cool off somewhere for now. It's no fun fainting in the bath… I should know. But that's a story for another time. Catch you later, 'kay?"

"Yeah…"

I had to get out of there… It wasn't the heat that was suffocating me, but rather the dismay in discovering that maybe, even if I was her favourite guy, I could only ever be a friend and nothing more.

To pour salt onto the wound, I was subject to a final round of humiliation.

"Neku!" squeaked Eri. "You're exposed! Cover yourself up!"

Gah! She was right, but her warning came a little too late. A number of people saw me, including this batch of old ladies, the girls horsing about, the couple in the corner, and Eri's pal who was so flustered she forgot to look away. So that's about everyone.

I freaked out and dashed away with my towel between my legs. Just how bad was my luck anyway? !

XOXOXOXOXO

The night air was chilly yet refreshing, but it gave me no respite from the hurt I had been suffering. I was out of that bath, but now what? Eri would come looking for me, but then what? What did I have to say to her? I was angry and jealous and all kinds of negative emotions were swirling around inside me. Somewhere deep inside I knew this wasn't the way to act, but I was powerless to stop myself from feeling like this.

Now wasn't the time to face her. I knew I was a fool and a coward, but I felt that if I talked to her at this moment I would flare up and lose it. I would accuse her of ignoring me and everything… and…

…I would hurt her. That's the last thing I wanted to happen!

"Neku! There you are. I've been looking for you!"

Speak of the devil. Eri came trotting over, looking six kinds of cute in that yukata. That bath had left her refreshed and she was even more energetic than usual. The moonlit night was romantic and would have set up a beautiful atmosphere between us if my mood wasn't so sour.

I still needed to cool off. I wasn't ready yet. Then maybe when I was, I could ask her what exactly she thought of me without making mistakes and looking like a sore chump. But now that Eri had gotten a hold of me, it would be hard to escape.

"Feeling better, Neku?" she asked. "This being your first time at an onsen, maybe it might be best that you not spend too long in the water. You'll pass out from heat overload if you're careless."

"I'll take note of that."

She smiled warmly. "Even so, it was great fun, wasn't it? If there were less people around it'll be quieter and a little more private for us, but it's still alright as it was. Maybe we could manage another dip later on if you're up for it. Hee hee!"

"Yeah."

Eri was an observant girl. She had been stuck to my hip ever since high school so she knew everything about me. Her radar was able to pick up on my displeasure sooner than I expected.

"What's the matter? Neku, you're not looking so good…"

And that was the beginning of the end. That was the catalyst that would bring out the worst in me and eat a large hole in our bond.

To me, that innocent question sounded more like an insult. _'What's the matter?'_ She should look at herself for the answer! She pushed me aside in favour of Futoshi and still wanted to go out with other boys, all while I was right there with her. Any guy in my position would be outraged.

I could no longer suppress my urge to give her a piece of my mind. Normally I'd exercise restraint but this time… I just couldn't.

"Eri," I muttered flatly, "what am I to you?"

She became confused, not to mention taken aback by my dark tone. "Huh? Neku, what do you mean?"

"I'm asking you if you really respect my existence or not. Simple question."

She shrank at my biting words, and then, still wondering perhaps if I was pulling her leg, she replied earnestly, "You're my friend, Neku. Of course you're important to me. Why would you even say – "

"These 'dates' that we always do… You keep emphasizing how crucial it is for us to behave like we're going out when we actually aren't. But is there really a point to all that?"

_No, Neku. What are you doing? !_ Why was I getting on her case? From the bottom of my heart I knew that never once did she mean any harm. Why grill her about it like she's some kind of criminal?

I could already see the effects my imposing attitude had on her. That cheeky smile of hers was going, going… gone. She even looked a little scared. And when your best friend starts to think you're scary, that you're not being fun anymore, then it's a terrible thing.

She gulped, "'What's the point', you ask… To have fun, what else! How should I put this… See, when two people go out and have fun, but they're friends, then it's just 'hanging out'. When they're lovers, it's called a 'date'. Since we've already done a lot of hanging out by now, I thought we could try something different. But we're not lovers at all, so playing the part would have to do for now! Although – "

"Okay, fine. I get that you want our 'dates' to be as authentic as you can possibly get, but if we go by that rationale…" No good. I was seething already. "…then it's hardly nice of you to flirt with Futoshi and talk about going to mixers and hooking up with boys!"

Eri grew defensive and it was clear she didn't like the way I was talking. "I wasn't flirting! Futoshi may have been my boyfriend but that's in the past; we're just friends now! Are you saying it's wrong to be friendly with someone I used to know? And I wasn't serious about the mixers either… it's just girl talk. I never had any intention of going, but I had to appear somewhat interested to keep the conversation going at a smooth clip."

Lies, was what I told myself. But at the same time, I knew she wasn't telling porkers either. She was telling the truth. Futoshi and the guys of the ICC were the least of her concerns, but… I refused to believe it. I was scared of losing her, but my fears led to an irrational mind and some very strong words I would soon come to regret.

"Whatever," I huffed. "I don't know about how you think, Eri…"

I couldn't control myself. Even as I was scolding myself – _Stop it, Neku! Stop and chill, idiot!_ – I just couldn't. And I said the worst thing I could ever say to Eri. I blew up in her face.

"…but the last thing I can stand… is to waste time going on stupid 'dates' with someone who'd sooner push me away the moment she finds someone better!"

She recoiled at my outburst and looked like she had been slapped. I'd never shouted at her before… not even once. Who would like it if your best friend, whom you had come to like and depend on, made a 180 degree personality turn and snapped at you? The shock must have been intense. The growing dismay must have been worse. And when the tears started to bead in the corners of her eyes, I sobered up from my rage almost immediately and realized too late that I had done something most unforgivable.

I made her cry!

Ah… Wh-What should I do? I went and did something like this… I knew I'd regret it… The voice in my head kept telling me so, but I was too stubborn to listen. Now I had to pay the price for my foolish actions.

She bit down on her lip as she struggled to find her voice. Her frame trembled uncontrollably. Then she retaliated, letting the words out in a flurry:

"You don't understand, Neku! You're very important to me! I can't even think what my life would be like without you… I only go on these dates with you because you're nice and I like you so much…! _Why do you have to be so mean to me? !_"

I had to apologise, quick! But she didn't give me a break.

The tears were now streaming down her cheeks as she continued, "Was I wrong to regard you as my favourite guy? ! If you don't like the way I act, just say it. I'd appreciate the honesty. Just don't say all those terrible things about me! Idiot!"

Eri… She called me an idiot… There were times when she called me that but it was always to tease me for being unschooled in a lot of popular trends. Never before did she call me an idiot because she was angry. It came to me like a stab through the heart. And that wasn't all.

"If that's the way you see it, Neku, then fine! We'll never go on another date again!"

Never again? No way… Our friendship… sunk? No…!

Five seconds of nothing except her sobs ensued. It hurt me to see her wiping her eyes only for more tears to gush out. The sick feeling in my stomach ballooned to epic proportions. I was powerless to do anything for myself. I knew I had to say it… to say that I was sorry, but when my mouth opened all that I could manage was a few empty, unintelligible spurts.

"Eri… I… I'm s–"

"Screaming at each other," she choked, cutting me off, "is just going to make us hate each other more, so… I think I'll go away now."

She turned on her heel and fled in the opposite direction, her clogs making sharp clacking sounds on the floor. I stayed rooted to the spot, unable to move. I should be going after her, but I couldn't. Really… Just what was wrong with me… First I couldn't apologise and now I couldn't even bring my muscles to budge an inch. Was I destined to be a fool forever?

…No! Absolutely not! There's still time. I could make it up to her. But I had to hurry! I had friends I didn't want to let down: Mr H, Kariya and Uzuki would be waiting for the good news. And I didn't want to let Eri down even more.

Most importantly, though, I didn't want to let _myself_ down.

That was the push I needed to get my rear in gear. My feet could move now. One step, two steps… and I was sprinting around the inn, looking for her.

However, Eri was nowhere to be found. I searched high and low, and asked around too, but she remained a no-show. From the recreational areas to the mixed baths… even the room we booked for the night. I had combed practically the entire place but there was still no sign of my friend. Zilch. I never wanted to see her more badly than now.

Now I was beginning to get worried. Where had she gone? I had no idea! Bad things always happen to people who quarrel and get separated. One of them always eats the wrong end of a mishap and the other party would stew in regret for not apologizing while the chance was still fresh. Then we get the bad ending. I didn't want that to happen to me or her!

Desperate, I went back to our room to grab my cell phone. As my shaking fingers punched Eri's number in, my heart felt like it would flatline from the stress any moment, and in my head I pleaded, _C'mon, answer the phone, Eri. I want to tell you how sorry I am. I know you hate my guts but I don't want to stay in the doghouse forever. Please let me hear your voice, Eri, please –_

The trill of a cheesy pop song suddenly came from somewhere in the room.

_She's my four-leaf clover  
>Good luck surrounds her<br>Just gazing at her eyes  
>Casts my problems aside<em>

Where have I heard that before? Wasn't that one of The Prince's hit songs? _She's My Four-Leaf Clover_, if I wasn't mistaken? Didn't Eri like that so much she made it her ringtone?

That meant only one thing: she had left her phone in our room. Wherever she had gone to, she didn't take it with her. Without any means of communication I couldn't reach her! How was I supposed to find her now? She couldn't be in the inn, so the only place where she would logically be would be outside. But it's a whole big neighbourhood to search… I wouldn't even know where to start looking. Let's not forget that I had about as much of a sense of direction here as Eri, that is to say, none at all.

She could be lost! Wandering around helplessly! Getting hit on by guys –

Oh crud. Totally didn't think of that. Eri was probably in danger, and it would be all my fault!

I strengthened my resolve and made a mad dash for the lobby. Maybe she thought I was the stupidest person in the world now but I intended to prove her wrong. I'd show her I still cared about her and that she was my number one friend. But until then, I'd have to find her…

Please, Eri… Please be safe!

...

...

**Author's note: Sorry about the late update, everyone. I finished college and just started working full-time, so as you can guess, free time is a luxury that I don't have a lot of. I haven't forgotten about this story at all. In fact, I'm always thinking about it and I even have a good idea for the next two or three chapters. But I fear updates will be a little slower from now on. I want to thank everyone who's been giving me their support. Don't worry, I'll keep writing. **


	22. Apologies and Forgiveness

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 22)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

Eri and I got ourselves in a spat that I started and now she's missing. Her lack of familiarity with this neighbourhood worried me. What if she got lost? No, it's more like… she _would_ get lost. She didn't take her cell phone with her either, leaving me with no real way to track her down, making my fears doubly real.

I strained myself thinking of all the various places a girl might go to clear her head in the aftermath of an argument, but no good ideas turned up. Even if they did, I wouldn't know where to look. The entire place was alien to me. My only option was to just run off into the night madly looking for her, hoping that I would come across her somehow. Yes, it wasn't very smart, but it was the only choice I had.

Certainly befitting for an idiot like me… This was my punishment, I guess…

The least I could do was take it like a man. Eri, I'll definitely come for you. And I'll admit that I was stupid, and apologise. So please… please stay safe and wait for me. I wouldn't disappoint you ever again!

"Young man, is something the matter?"

As I paced about in the lobby, hesitating and contemplating my course of action, I must have caught the attention of the innkeeper. She was an elderly lady, dressed in a formal robe. Wrinkles adorned her face and she had a kind smile. I was in too much a hurry to talk but I didn't wish to brush her off now that she had showed her concern. Besides, maybe she might be able to suggest a better way for me to carry out my rescue plan. So I spared a little time for her, keeping my explanation brief.

"I got into a fight with my friend," I said dolefully. "And now I can't find her. I want to tell her I'm sorry."

The innkeeper was tactful enough to not ask for further details. "Ah, I remember you. You came in this afternoon together with your girlfriend. And you had a quarrel with her, I see. That's a shame… But you're on the right track that you want to apologise."

There was one word in what she said that stood out in particular and it made me blush a little. "Sh-She's not my girlfriend, although… I do care a lot about her."

"Now, now, it's alright, young man." Her motherly friendliness put me at ease. "Don't be shy. I was your age once, too, and I know love when I see it."

I could have started blurting out in denial but she was so sincere the truth just rolled off my tongue.

"I… I need her. But ma'am, she went out by herself and there's no way for me to contact her."

"Do you know the area around here?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"And you intend to look for your friend in unfamiliar territory? I admire your courage, but it's not safe. Here, take this brochure. There's a street map inside. It wouldn't help you find her, but if you do, you can use it to find your way back here."

"Oh, um, thanks! That's a big help." I graciously took the brochure from her and immediately felt a surge of confidence flow through me. As long as I had this, my chances of making it out of this suburban jungle alive together with Eri were pretty good. I hoped.

"Young man, do not fret so much," she said. "She may be angry, but it doesn't mean she hates you completely. If you truly care for her, she'll know. And I'm quite certain she feels the same way about you."

"I hope so…" Eri… Even if you hate me now, do you still like me? Am I still your best friend?

The old innkeeper's eyes lit up for a moment, like she recalled something. "Oh! I almost forgot. My memory's not how it used to be, but I seem to remember a girl run out the entranceway not too long ago. She was sobbing and had pink hair. Might that be who you're looking for?"

Sobbing? Pink hair? There was no one else that could be but her! Eri! With that realization I was raring again to speed off to look for her.

"I think that's her," I said. "I've got to go!"

Before I could take another step, the innkeeper stopped me. "You're still going along with your daredevil act? I wouldn't stop you, but just know that it'll be dangerous."

"But I can't just sit here doing nothing…"

"I thought you might say that, young man. Very well… Just take care. I'll be praying for your safety."

"Thanks, ma'am!" My feet were impatient and soon I was scrambling for the entranceway. I shouted back over my shoulder to the innkeeper, "Don't worry, I'll be back soon!"

And so I charged into the night with the map in hand. Anyone would tell me that running around the neighbourhood blindly wasn't going to do me much good, and that I was better off waiting it out, or calling the police… and that I was foolish. But I felt that I had to do something… anything… even if it was ultimately a waste of time. At least my heart would feel just that little bit better knowing that I didn't do nothing.

It wasn't going to be an open road, though…

XOXOXOXOXO

Time flies when you're having fun, or even when, as the case may be, you're not.

It felt like hours since I left the inn. There was no street I didn't scour, no person I didn't ask, no dark corner I didn't venture into knowing fully well that it may be infested with punks looking for someone to pound. Unfortunately, though, my search for Eri turned up nothing. She refused to be found.

The truth was far from pleasant, but the reality of things was that staying out any longer wouldn't do me any good. I cursed myself for my foolishness. I failed her and I failed myself. Some "favourite guy" I made, huh? In the end, I couldn't even protect the one I loved the most. My soul was crushed down to the size of a pinhead.

The full moon was out and I just wanted to howl at it in frustration.

"I'm sorry, Eri. I'm so sorry… Please forgive me…"

I trudged back to the inn, my heart sinking with each step. It would be nice if she was there all along, waiting for my return. And then I could apologise to her and maybe she could get back to teasing me like she always loved to. But it'd be terribly convenient, wouldn't it? Life didn't work that way. If you dropped a piece of toast on the floor it would land on the buttered side. Always.

Eri wasn't there, just as I expected. Back in the lobby, the only two people were myself and the innkeeper, who cast a look of pity at me.

"You didn't find your friend, young man?"

"No…" I hung my head in shame. "Um, thanks for the map, by the way."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry about her though. For you to go searching for her like that, she must be very important to you."

"She's more than just important to me," I began. "She's special."

"Special?" Creases gathered around the innkeeper's mouth as she smiled. "My, that's quite a claim you made. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that."

"I hope so…" I clutched at my arm, overwhelmed with regret. "She's a bit of an airhead and always makes fun of me, but at the same time, she also cares about me and sticks by my side during hard times. There are so many things I want to tell her, like how thankful I am to have her as a friend, and… well… how much I like her.

"But all I did was get mad at her for no good reason. I'm sure she hates me now… I mean, why would she up and disappear? It's all my fault. I vowed I'd make her happy, but I blew her off… I'm the worst! What do I do with myself now?"

The whole time I was pouring out my woes, the innkeeper did not interrupt me or ask me questions. She just listened. Something that Shiki once said to me came to mind: that sometimes, all people need is a listening ear for their problems to seem less difficult. Right now I was in dire need of one, and the innkeeper fit the bill. Even in the worst possible scenario – like now – having someone to hear you out is enough to keep your sanity where it belongs. She was such a kind old lady.

The sigh I heaved was a defeated one. "Guess I should call the police now… Maybe they can lend a hand."

Despite the severity of the situation, the innkeeper remained calm – big-rock-in-a-lake calm – like she knew everything was going to work out in the end.

"Let's not be too hasty. One moment, lad." Then she got up from her chair, walked to the door behind her that presumably led to the office, and rapped on it with her knuckles, gentle as ever.

"Dearie," she called through the door, "I think you can come out now."

What?

Two or three seconds and there was nothing. Just when I thought the innkeeper was spacing out, the doorknob twisted reluctantly and the door swung ajar.

A familiar figure stood meekly in the gap, peeping through at me.

"Eri!" I almost shouted in surprise. She was safe! Her eyes were puffy from crying and her face was a mess but at least she was okay. Thank goodness… There was one thing I didn't quite get, though. "Hang on, you were hiding here this entire time?"

Her eyes were downcast and she was too sheepish to answer. Eri was a merry soul, and there was hardly a day when she was sad. The guilt pounded my heart into mincemeat as I gazed upon her silently sniffling form. This was not the Eri I knew. The innkeeper kindly answered for her.

"I'm sorry, young man. The truth is that your friend here came to me and asked for a place where she could rest. She vehemently insisted that she needed to be alone for a while and that she couldn't see you yet. I felt bad for her, so I let her stay in my office. But I think the time has come for the two of you to make up."

So that's what it was like… The innkeeper purposely kept me away to give Eri time to recover. All this while, when I was dashing around the streets, it was nothing more than a fool's errand. I couldn't really blame either of them, though.

"Now hurry along, you two," said our elderly friend, coaxing Eri to rejoin me by my side. "You should head back to your room. And get some rest after you're done. Both of you have been through a lot."

Back in the privacy of our room, Eri and I sat kneeling and face-to-face. There was an awkward silence building up between us and I was waiting for her to speak. Because she had the same idea, though, there was too long a stretch of time in which nothing was spoken.

Finally I decided to act first. I bowed my head deeply. What I was going to say were some of the most difficult words a person could ever say, but it had to be done if I wanted to patch things up with her.

"I'm sorry, Eri. I'm very sorry!"

I didn't hear any reply of any sort from her. Was she angry? …Of course she would be. Of course I would get the cold shoulder even when I apologised. But I sought to explain myself further.

"I was wrong to be so brusque with you like I did," I continued. "I got jealous when you were talking with Futoshi and also when you seemed interested in joining the mixer that your friend mentioned. It's just… I didn't like the idea of someone snatching you away, but it's still no reason for me to get all mean and catty."

Wh-What the heck was this? It sounded more like a bad confession than a proper apology. I mean, I ploughed headlong through it, but…

"Anyway! I'm very sorry! Eri, I know it's not possible right away, but please – even if it takes time – please forgive me!" And with that, I bowed even deeper, until my forehead was touching the floor.

She started getting frantic. "Whoa! Um, d-don't bow like that! I get that you're being sincere and all, but it's still embarrassing! And, well, see… Neku…"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry too."

I raised my head to look up at her. "Wh-Why?"

"While I was in the office, I did a little thinking. And I came to realize just how impolite I was for leaving you out on various occasions today. I forgot about you at the ramen shack and I did it again in the bath. It's not nice of me, and for that I'm sorry…"

"No, Eri, you can't fault yourself for anything." I bolted upright. "You were just socializing. I was out of line getting angry at you for mingling with your friends."

"But I still shouldn't have ignored you like before! I didn't even introduce you to them properly. Ah! S-Sorry about that too!"

"No, hang on! It's alright! I'm cool with it… You've – well, I'm really alright!"

"Even if you are, I'm not." She bit down on her fingernail. "Please forgive me for my stupidity."

"Stupidity – what are you saying? _I'm_ the one who's stupid!"

"No, I am!"

We found ourselves thick in the middle of another argument, only this time – on hindsight – it was a whole lot more pointless. Why fight over who should be sorrier? It was kind of adorable in a sense though.

"Sorry!"

"Sorry – "

_Klonk._

"Ouch!"

That was the sound of our skulls knocking together as we bowed at the same time. We brought our heads down rather forcefully too, which made the impact all the more painful. The two of us ended up clutching our heads in agony.

"That hurt," I groaned.

"Y-Yeah…"

Eri started giggling a little. What exactly was so funny about bumping heads together, I thought. I failed to understand the humour. Slowly, however, I began to see the lighter side of it all and soon we were laughing at ourselves for being a couple of sillies. This was a great development. She was back to being the happy girl I loved.

When we had calmed down somewhat, she edged closer and placed her hands lightly on top of mine. I gladly let her.

"Neku," she whispered, "I'm so relieved that we're back to being friends."

"Yeah, me too."

"But just for the record…"

"Mmm?"

"…do you still… like me?"

That was a question so simple to answer that it was almost dumb.

"Eri, I always have."

She beamed broadly. "That's good… God, I was so worried you might not like me anymore. We've been together for so long, it'd be a pity to just throw our friendship away in a split second. That's the main reason I cried."

"I'm sorry…" Her hair was so silky under my fingertips as I stroked her head. "I was an idiot, Eri. When I lost my cool earlier, I was thinking that we were special buddies and that we should belong to each other. But I can't be so selfish as to stop you from making your own friends. That was wrong of me, and I wouldn't do that again… I promise."

"Special buddies, huh? You did call me… special. I heard you through the office door when you were talking to the innkeeper."

"Gee, um, you heard me? ! Oh, er…" So she heard everything I said… She basically knew how much I liked her now. Gosh, this was kind of embarrassing. But I didn't really mind. If this could pave the path to better things, then it was okay.

"Well, if we're special buddies, why don't we do something only the two of us can do… something special?"

"Like what?"

For a second or two she just giggled. And then, with a hardly audible voice, she murmured, "…Kissing would be nice."

Did I hear her wrong? Further confirmation was necessary. But she beat me to it before I could even think of saying "Come again?"

"Kissing," she repeated, blushing rapidly. Unsure whether I understood, she added, "You know, when two people press their mouths together and – "

"I… I know what it is!" I spluttered. "B-But… you and me? Um, on… on the lips?"

"We're close enough for that. We like each other, so it's no problem, right? Plus, I thought we could make up at the same time. Kisses are one way to go about it." Was she serious or simply pulling my – no, she _was_ serious. I recognized that look, those eyes, that firmness in her voice. My goodness, she totally wanted to make out with me. Me! Neku Sakuraba! Not that it was a bad thing… but wasn't it sudden and a little too early for this kind of stuff to happen between us? I would have waited till we were at least going out.

The shock left me at a loss for words. Thinking that I was reluctant, she gulped, "No good?"

"N-No! I'm okay with it. I don't mind, except… I don't know how to kiss… It'll be my first one."

"Don't worry." She edged closer and placed her hands on my shoulders, getting herself into position and me into a rightful little tizzy. "I'll make this easy for you. All you need to do is stay still."

"A-Are we doing it now? ! I… I don't know if I'm prepared… What if I get it wrong?"

"No one gets their first kiss done perfectly. But everyone loves it and cherishes the memory all the same. What's important is not how you do it, but rather how much love you pour out for the other person. It's all in direct proportion, see? The more you love someone the richer the experience."

I was like a dry leaf, trembling aplenty. On many occasions she told me that she liked me for who I was, but this was the first time she said the word "love". I probably wasn't wrong to say that her feelings for me had progressed beyond the realm of best friends – or bath buddies as she might cheekily call us. The kind of kiss you get under the mistletoe is just a harmless spot of mischief during the holiday season, but what Eri was going to do was clearly not that. No, it was something a lot more meaningful.

"So… I'm gonna start, 'kay, Neku? That is, if you don't mind."

How could I resist the chance for some romantic mouth-to-mouth action with the girl of my dreams? If she was all for it then so was I. All throughout the twenty years of my life I had been given countless opportunities but threw them all away because of cowardice. There's nothing quite more regretful and disappointing than the words "If only…" No more. Starting today, Neku Sakuraba was a changed person (hopefully). And this kiss would make a good stepping stone.

"A-Alright… I just need to stay still for now, right, Eri?"

"That's right. Now, relax…"

Her eyes were windows to her soul, and through them I could see a longing for us to stay together. But was it as best friends or something more? It wasn't easy to tell. Hugs and harmless pranks came so readily from her. Was this kiss going to be the same thing? Something she did merely for fun?

No… The aura was different. You don't just kiss anyone, even when you're a carefree and rather perverted person like Eri.

The only person you kiss is the one you _love_, right?

So did it mean that Eri loved me?

No kidding? ! Yowzers! I had to know. This kiss would tell me. It'd tell me whether she loved me and how much.

Ooh, she was getting closer. Every part of my body shook in anticipation. And yet, she was as calm as calm gets. As expected from someone who's literally tasted love much earlier than me. This was going to prove to be a cakewalk to her. I wondered about a lot of things during these precious few seconds before the big moment. How was she going to go about it? Was it going to be simple and chaste or long-drawn and slobbery? And… tongues. Gosh, how was another person's tongue supposed to feel like in my mouth… G-Gross?

Another second dragged by and still she waited. Why must she keep torturing me like this? If we were going to do it then it had to be now while the iron was hot. Or maybe she was really thinking of whether to slip her tongue in or not.

At the last moment, when I thought she'd go for it, she pressed two fingers onto her lips and then touched mine using those same fingers. So it ended up being an indirect kiss.

"Sorry, Neku," she muttered, clearly apologetic. "I… I just can't do it. Not yet. I mean, I've been confused lately, and I'm still sorting out these feelings, and… well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait."

I quickly shook myself out of my stupor and waved it off as nonchalantly as I could. "Hey, um, y-you don't need to rush it, Eri. These kinds of things… We should wait till we're both ready. If you aren't, I'm not going to force you or anything. Take your time, yeah?" Some disappointment was inevitable, but I guess kisses really require more preparation than I thought. Besides, indirect kisses weren't so bad. They were still quite a rush…

"Thanks for being so considerate, Neku. I just… need some more time. I might be a while, though. But sometime in the near future, sometime soon… I'll give you a real one, I promise." The whole of her face was tinged red.

"Oh! Um… er… If you still feel uneasy, I don't mind waiting. And if you change your mind, then… that's fine too." I wanted to put her at ease. It's no good to put the pressure on a girl over something like this.

Eri lightly clutched my robe at the chest and she gazed at me like a kitten. How was she like a kitten? It was the eyes. Oh, those eyes! So warm and clear and they hinted at a fragile side I hardly see much of. I was this close to giving her a big hug and telling her that everything was alright now and also that I would take care of her forever as well as a dozen other things that sounded suspiciously like I wanted to marry her. But I managed to restrain myself in time to avoid a potentially awkward situation.

Anyway, in response to what I said, she replied:

"No, Neku… That was no empty promise. I mean it. That's why, when I finally understand what my heart is feeling… I _will_ kiss you."

I was awestruck by her honesty. That's Eri for you: forthright and straight to the point as always. As for me, I could never bring myself to tell a girl the same thing. I guess a lot of people couldn't! Even for her it must have taken a bucketload of courage to say it. I had to give credit where it's due.

She's in love with me… She had to be… But unless I heard the words from her mouth, I wouldn't know, and I had to. Now wasn't the best time for that, was what I felt, so that would have to be left as a "to be continued" kind of thing.

"It's getting late, Neku, and I'm getting sleepy. What say we call it a night and hit the sack?"

"Ah… sure."

I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about how everything that had happened today was like a giant roller-coaster ride. There were some ups and a whole lot of downs. That we even survived the ordeal was nothing short of a miracle. I had to thank whoever was up there for setting things right between us again. However, what was up with the whole kissing issue? Surely it must mean that she recognized that we were starting to become more than just friends to each other…

"Neku? Can I trouble you a bit?"

"I don't mind. What's up?"

She flicked her blanket aside and my eyes sprang out of my head when she did the same with her yukata.

"Eri!" I gasped. "What the – ? !"

"The yukata's too thick," she huffed. "It was getting too warm underneath. Now, if you'll excuse me."

"It's too warm, huh? ! Then why are you slipping into _my_ futon? !"

I just stayed stock still and completely in shock as she snuggled up and got comfortable. Oh my goodness… She _had_ to lock our legs together! There wasn't even half an inch of space between our bodies! By the way, her response? It was a ridiculous one, "Because now that I'm not wearing any clothes, it might get a little chilly, so I'll need some extra heat, and you're it."

"'It'? Y-You mean, I'm the heat? ! You just want to get some last-minute teasing in before you go to sleep, don't you? !"

"Not at all," she said in blatant and purposeful denial. She grinned like a child and playfully twisted her finger into my cheek. "Really now, Neku… Are you telling me to wear that yukata and get heatstroke? My, how cruel. Let's see how you like it if I strip you naked and leave you out on the balcony in this nice cold autumn weather, hmmm?"

"That's not heatstroke; that's hypothermia!"

There was an almighty snort from her and then she turned into a giggling machine. "Hee hee! I'm glad."

"Glad? About what?"

"That we're back to being the most awesome team!"

That was true. Our daily routine… me being the butt of her pranks, and her laughing her head off. Whenever she made a suggestive comment or took off her clothes, I'd be startled beyond measure. However, there was a light in all those times… a feeling of camaraderie that bound us together like an invisible thread. Over time I had come to take our comedy act for granted, but tonight our quarrel taught me a valuable lesson and I recognized that there was no friendship that was set in stone.

All it would take was a simple mistake for everything to fall to pieces. I sought to be more careful from now on. It was fortunate that we were able to patch up our wounds quickly enough, but any slower and we might really have parted ways for good. The thought frightened me.

"You're right, Eri," I said, smiling. "We're the most awesome team. There was never any doubt about that."

"And the team that sticks together," she seconded, nudging closer, "stays together!"

"Sticking together doesn't really require you to be half-naked, though…"

"Ha ha ha! Nice one!"

We were being so affectionate with each other I couldn't help stroking her cheek with my knuckles. Oh wow, this felt good! She didn't recoil either, so she must like it as much as I did. Anyone who saw us now would likely think we were already going steady – heck, _beyond_ steady. Ah, so this was how heaven was like…

"Eri… I behaved badly today, so I want to make it up to you. Would you like to extend our stay here for another day?"

"Another day? But…"

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking. We're to go back home tomorrow, is what we had in mind at first. If we're staying tomorrow, then we'll leave the day after. But that day isn't a public holiday, so we'll definitely miss some classes. I personally don't mind playing truant for one day – the lecturers at my college don't even care who's absent or not – but if you feel your own classes are too important to skip, then we'll by all means do as we originally planned. What do you think, Eri?"

She paused for thought, sifting a long "hmmm" through her lips to let me know she was still with me. I seriously hoped she would say yes. What Kariya said was right: trips to the onsen don't happen often, so it was wise to savour them to the fullest whenever the chance arose. There's no telling when we could find the time to go on one again. It could be months later, or maybe even next year!

…Eri was still thinking. That's an awfully long time…

"Um, Eri?"

Her words came out slowly. "You know, Neku, I may not look like it, but I'm a pretty hardworking girl. I've never missed a single class, not even once. So what you proposed is actually a bit much for me."

"Oh…" Too bad… "Okay, that's fine. We can always go on another trip – "

"That said, we haven't even begun to enjoy ourselves yet. There are some more places I'd like to visit, some more things I'd like to try with you… This is too good a chance to pass up."

Hope rose within my heart. "Then do you mean…?"

"Ha, but of course!" How does she make a wink look so super cute? "I'll take you up on your offer. What's one day of missed classes, right? It's not going to kill me. I can always catch up. But cutting our onsen trip short would be a pity. So since we're both willing, we should make this one heck of a tryst!"

"Heh… Good to see you pumped up, Eri." Whew! I could finally make amends and enjoy ourselves at the same time. Thank you, universe!

"Let's spoil ourselves tomorrow. After we've come this far to this quaint little neighbourhood, we deserve this much."

"Yes, I agree. But for now, we sleep."

We wished each other good night. Despite my tiring run through the streets, I couldn't doze off yet. Under the blanket we were crammed against each other; being inside a can of sardines would be much roomier. She couldn't seem to get into a position that was to her liking, so she kept tossing and turning and trying different sleeping postures and it was distracting the dickens out of me.

"Eri," I whispered, "you okay? Are you feeling too cold after all?"

She was writhing about so roughly now that it was almost worrying me. That and the grunting noises she was making. Seriously, what was happening? The blanket covered us up below the neck so I couldn't see what the problem was. I shuddered as it reminded me of a sci-fi horror movie I watched with her some few months back. There was a scene of this young couple in bed and the girl was shivering like crazy. When the boy expressed his concern, he got a rude surprise when his girlfriend transformed into a hideous alien monster with many tentacles. And she ate him.

Eri was… human, right? She wasn't going to turn into a monster and have me as a midnight snack, right? …Right?

Gah! Stupid overactive imagination… I had to put reins on it!

"Eri? H-Hey, if there's something wrong, you should tell me."

"There, much better!" she huffed. Much like my horror movie counterpart, I got a surprise too. From underneath the blanket her hand snaked out, clutching a… that's a bra and panties, wasn't it? ! She tossed them over to her futon. "Whew… Turns out I needed to lose the underwear too. It's so darn hot! It may be autumn, but it feels like it's freaking summer in here! The central heating must be something…"

I froze and my voice came out in stammers. "Never mind the central heating and whatever! I can't believe you actually took off your…!"

How does she treat such scandalous situations so normally? ! That wasn't all.

"What do you mean?" she shrugged. "Give a girl a break. Don't expect me to wear anything when the room is going to be this warm. Geez, grow a pair already. Are you telling me that after spending so many years together, you're still going to have fits every time I'm a little bit undressed?"

"B-But I'm a guy with a history of nosebleeds… Help me out here at least, man."

"Sure, I'll help you out…"

Uh-oh… Did I just dig my own grave? She's going to suck my life dry…

"Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't," I squawked. "Just don't. I've had a day and I just want to sleep."

"Mmm, why not. I'll sleep with you… Hee hee."

Digging my own grave wasn't enough, huh? ! I had to carve out my own tombstone for good measure!

"It's been a long time coming," she breathed dreamily, "but I think you and I can finally get down to 'business', if you get my drift. It's a romantic night and I've been hearing whispers that mating season is in the air!"

"What do you think we are, animals in heat? !"

I was five seconds from exploding. Four… Three… Three and a half…

Eri whispered the coup de grace into my ear, her voice slathered with naughtiness.

"Don't worry. If you're that scared, we can use the protection I found in your knapsack."

I scrambled to sit up like a man possessed and could have flung Eri off of myself had she not grabbed hold of me in time. That little scream she made – "eep", she went – would have sounded adorable if it weren't for how pressing the current matter was. I mean, heck, even for a joke, she was going a bit too far!

"For goodness' sake!" I yelped. "Why'd you have to – huh?"

The blanket had crumpled away to reveal that she still had her underwear on. What happened to the part about her being naked? …Answer: she never was.

"Gotcha!" she laughed, slapping me in the arm a dozen times. "I was just kidding. You know the undies I tossed out? That's my spare set. Why, disappointed? I'd like to say sorry, but it's your fault for getting your hopes up like that. You silly thing."

"I… I wasn't getting my – oh, forget it."

"Heh! You're blushing all the way to your ears! Admit it, this is your loss. And since I win, I get first dibs on follow-up teasing. And bragging rights."

"Brag about what exactly? Do whatever you want, though…"

"That I will!"

Frisky as ever, she pounced on me in a great hug and brought the two of us crashing back down on the futon. The breath was knocked out of me.

"Oof… That's rough, Eri."

"You should feel privileged," she gasped, exhausted from laughter. "I told you before, I only do this to you because you're cute."

Who else could she do that to on such an intense basis? Her friends might all have been on the receiving end of her jokes now and again, but it was probably nowhere near as crazy as she could get with me. Then again that's because we're… special. She was right. I _should_ feel privileged.

"I know," I said. "Thanks."

"Hee hee. Anytime."

"Riffling through my stuff was rather uncalled for, though. I mean, god! You just _had_ to come across the condom I stuffed in for safekeeping… What's a guy got to do for a little privacy – "

"Neku?" she said, blinking owlishly. "You… You mean you actually brought one?"

I blinked back at her. "Huh? Didn't you look through my stuff? You said so yourself."

"I never did! I never even touched your things. Couldn't you tell I was pulling your leg?"

We stared at each other. As the realization dawned upon us, things suddenly became very compromising.

"Neku?" she squeaked. "Why… Why do you have a condom on you?"

"I… I don't have any ulterior motives!" I must have looked like a windmill waving my arms so frantically. "Honest! It's Kariya's fault! He… He forced me to take it… And while it's true I took it with me just in case, it's… ah! I had no intention of using it! I swear this isn't the precedent for anything…"

The two of us just gawked at one another and blushed so hard I could almost see steam rising from the top of Eri's head. She happened to be stuck in a particularly embarrassing position too: still clinging onto a guy wearing a lot of air but little else. Suddenly she felt very vulnerable – rare occurrence! – and hurriedly wrapped the blanket around and over herself like a mummy.

Did… Did I put her out?

"I'm sorry!" I said, getting all panicky. "I never wanted to – "

Her muffled voice reached out to me from beneath the covers. "I'm not mad at you. I could never get mad at someone for being cautious. Believe me, you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you ought to be praised for being responsible. If I weren't all wrapped up like this, I'd even pat you on the head."

"Oh… I guess I – "

"This absolutely does not give you any right to attack me in the middle of the night, though. Don't even try."

"Huh? Me ambushing you in your sleep? I'm more concerned about you doing that to me! Look, I wouldn't do anything funny… Eri? Eri? …Uh, at least give me my blanket back…"

I wouldn't be getting any more responses from her anytime soon… One could only hope she wouldn't be too evasive for too long; that would put a huge spanner in my plans. Oh well, sleep has a way of solving problems, so maybe when we got up in the morning we'd be freshened up and A-OK. With my blanket completely hogged by her esteemed self, I had to make do with borrowing hers. Was she planning to be a pillbug for the rest of the night?

My eyelids were getting heavier and there was nothing I wanted more than a good rest. I was looking forward to sleeping well.

"…'Night, Eri."

To my surprise, she actually spoke back. Not only that, she emerged from her cocoon to cuddle up with me.

"Good night, Neku. By the way, you really are warm. You're… comfortable."

I smiled and pulled her closer, surprising even myself. "Just for the record, I'm a person, not a bolster. That said, I'm quite happy to hear you say that."

"Hee hee. You're funny."

Underneath that single blanket, we slept in each other's arms. And tonight's shenanigans came to an end.

It didn't mean that tonight was finished though. There was one last thing I had yet to see.

In the dead of morning when the moon was still out, I woke up to a soft murmuring sound. I traced it to Eri. So she could snore, was the obvious conclusion. Maybe that's something I could use to poke fun at her over breakfast.

…No, that wasn't snoring. She was talking in her sleep. And what's more, it was about a certain person I knew very well.

"Neku," she mumbled, "don't… don't leave me…"

It was also then that I noticed two things. The first was how tightly she was clutching onto my arm, like her life depended on it. Secondly, I spied tear-tracks on her cheeks. From the looks of it – her slate-coloured pillow was stained quite black from the dampness – she had been crying in her sleep for some time.

Poor Eri… The trauma she suffered from that quarrel must have stung so badly for it to stay in her subconscious long after the matter had been resolved. My soul was riddled with guilt once more. Was she dreaming about me walking out of her life forever?

_Don't worry_, I told her in my head. _I wouldn't go anywhere. Whichever direction your life takes you, you can count on me being there to give you a hand. So please… even though it may be hard now, cheer up for me._ Not bad for an oath, if I did say so myself.

No sooner had I finished thinking the last word did she stir momentarily. I thought I might have woken her up somehow but she was still blissfully asleep. The way she fumbled around with limbs flinging everywhere was funny, in a sense. I almost wanted to chuckle out loud. Unfortunately, she thrashed about too much, and she struck me hard in a particularly bad spot.

She just kneed me in the groin! Accidentally, of course, but who the heck cared how when it hurt like crazy! Sledgehammers to the skull would hurt less! Too bad I couldn't simply yell out in pain, though. It wouldn't be very gentlemanly to wake a maiden during her beauty sleep. So I kept the pain all bottled up within. Every hundred pounds of it.

I couldn't wait for the morning to arrive so we could enjoy our little vacation proper. Till then, though, this was going to be a long night…

Ow ow ow ow ow!


	23. The Vacation Finally Kicks Off

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 23)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Neku? Ah, you're up."

Oh? It was morning. What was this fuzzy thing in front of me? I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes for a better look but I didn't take long to figure it out. The nice feminine scent was a dead giveaway.

"Five minutes," I mumbled. "Just… five more minutes."

An underwear-clad Eri was kneeling by my side. She didn't fancy my groggy reply very much and let me know. "Come on, lazy. Up you go! Have you forgotten what we've come here for?"

"I haven't. But I still need – "

"No 'buts'. You promised we'd stay for another day! So we're going to go have lots of fun and make every second count. You're wasting our precious seconds, Neku! I wouldn't have it!" She's cute when she's annoyed; when she grumbles it's the most adorable thing.

Well, today was the last day of our pseudo-romantic getaway. I made a promise to her that we would just go crazy and spoil ourselves. No way would I be a total dirtbag like last night. For Eri's happiness, I had to do my best and some! And if things went well, maybe I could even tell her what I felt about her and we could return home hand-in-hand as a couple at last. Lots of things to look forward to, that's for sure!

But it was still too early… The sun was hardly up. Probably wasn't even six.

"I gotcha, Your Majesty," I said, cramming words into my pillow. "Now gimme my five minutes already."

"You sloth! Seriously, you're such a girl! You know why? 'Cause you're all like," – with a sarcastic falsetto she said – "'_Ahh!_ No, no, no, I simply _must_ have my beauty sleep for another _five_ more minutes or my manly complexion will be ruined… _ruined!_' Geh! Here, I'll even give you a blindfold if it helps."

She tossed something at me. It did feel like a blindfold, judging from the texture.

"Thanks. That's just what I – uh?"

My eyesight had cleared up enough now, and I saw that I was holding no blindfold. It took me a second or two to recognize what it was and then I sprang straight up in surprise like a jack-in-the-box.

"Hey, what the…? !"

Blindfold, my foot! The imp had taken off her bra and handed it to me passing it off as one! She roared with laughter while keeping her bare breasts wrapped up in one arm.

"_Now_ you're awake!" she guffawed. "Oh god, you're a riot, Neku!"

"Dammit, Eri… You nearly gave me a heart attack! And so early in the morning too! This can't be good for my health."

"Still sleepy?" The fingers of her free hand were plucking at the hem of her panties. "Want another blindfold?"

"No! Put something on, you monkey!"

She refused to stop laughing as she slipped her bra back on. Her insanity reaches new heights with each passing day…

"You, Eri, are a real handful."

"So are you," she retorted. "But that's cool. You know what they say: if birds of a feather flock together, than so do handfuls."

"I've never heard of that."

"Of course you haven't, silly. Hee hee… Anyway, come on, Neku! Don't stay indoors when it's such a beautiful day. Here, take a look."

Eri went over to the curtains with a skip in her step and flung them wide open. I watched in horror as she proceeded to open the sliding door and step out onto the balcony. In two seconds I was on my feet, going after her. She was gazing at the townscape whose simple beauty left a grand impression in her. Sightseeing would have been fine any other time but right now she was still in only her underwear.

"The air's so cool and refreshing," she sighed. "Mornings like this are the best."

"Eri! Come on back inside and wear a shirt at least!"

"What? That's no fun," she pouted. "It's still early, and no one's up yet. And the breeze feels nice on my skin. C'mon, surely you can give me, oh, five more minutes?" Kuh! That edge of sarcasm that was directed at me… I really felt it!

"Not like that I won't!"

She ignored my protests and kept wondering aloud about her surroundings. "Oooh, this balcony is a solid place to make out. Quiet, romantic, and a great view to boot! I'll have to remember this spot."

Eri spun round and leaned against the railing, perching on it with her perky behind. "If our friendship was a little deeper," she mused, "we could give it a shot."

My heart stirred. "You mean… m-making out?"

"That's right. Eheh…"

No book or magazine article had taught me how to reply to words so strong and bold. What should I say? Should I express interest? Or go into deadpan mode and say something amusing? I didn't even know how I should begin. That's why I was thankful she made things easy for me by speaking first.

"Sadly for you, wannabe Casanova," she said, "today is not your time to shine. The mouth-to-mouth can wait."

"Er… I… Yeah, I never said there was any rush."

"I'm a woman of my word, though. So don't worry." She pressed my lips gently with her finger. "You'll get your kiss soon!"

"Ah, um… th-thanks… I g-guess?"

"You should be more enthusiastic," she huffed, "but I can't blame you for being so shy. It's kinda cute, actually."

Eri walked back into the room where she finally decided to put on some clothes. Slipping into her yukata, she quipped, "I'm famished. I could do with some breakfast. You?"

"Sounds like a plan."

The two of us could sort out our feelings soon, that much I was sure. Never mind the part about kissing. What's important is that Eri and I had a whole day to goof off and have some serious fun, and we were looking forward to it. What adventures lay in wait for us today? I couldn't wait.

And so couldn't Eri. I just knew.

XOXOXOXOXO

Breakfast was brought to us in our room courtesy of the elderly innkeeper and her helpers. Our food was placed on the coffee table in a lavish spread that we simply gawked at. Fish, beef, soup… Could we finish all of this?

"Looks great," I said approvingly. "Thanks, ma'am."

The innkeeper reacted to my compliment humbly. "Don't mention it. We may be a simple establishment, but taking care of our customers is always our top priority."

Eri was in complete astonishment. Ever since I started teaching her how to cook, she had taken a liking to cuisine. This breakfast, so expertly made, must have left her reeling with envy. "It smells like a real treat. I'll bet it tastes just as lovely! How long have you been cooking, ma'am?"

"I'd gather it to be about… seventy years?"

"Then you've been cooking practically your whole life? You must be a pro!"

"I get that a lot," chuckled the old lady. She must have been thinking what a cute young thing Eri was to be in awe over something as relatively simple as breakfast. "Please, enjoy your meal. We shan't disturb you any further."

Just as they were about to leave, Eri had one more thing to say.

"Wh-What's this?" Her face was a little pale and she was pointing at one of the bowls with a shaky finger. Suddenly she didn't look so enthusiastic. As for why, I would find out in a moment and share her sentiments.

The innkeeper gave her answer nonchalantly, like everything was okay, when it really wasn't…

"That would be one of my crowning achievements: roasted grasshoppers seasoned with teriyaki sauce."

Grasshoppers? ! Seriously, _grasshoppers? !_ Those… hopping, flying things? ! They're repulsive! Seeing them braised golden brown didn't make them look any more palatable. They sat disconcertingly alongside the rest of today's dishes. I didn't know eating bugs was a Japanese thing. Maybe it really wasn't. In any case, is stuff like this supposed to be edible or given to a certain couple of friends as punishment for having a senseless quarrel last night?

"First time seeing insects as food?" The innkeeper tried her best to dissuade our fears, but she wasn't very successful. "Don't be afraid. Grasshoppers may be a bizarre choice as a side dish, but when cooked the right way, they're really good. Try it. You might just acquire a taste for it."

Then she slid the door closed and left an uncomfortable silence in her wake. Eri looked from me to the bowl of grasshoppers and back to me again, and I did the exact same thing.

"Oh well," I half-laughed, "we can always leave it for later!"

"Y-Yeah!" She was creeped out plenty, although I had to give her credit for trying to sound normal. "It'll be a waste to just chuck them away so let's save it for now! Right?"

"Right! Ahaha…"

"Ehehe…"

We pushed the offending insects to the side and focused on the other food as best as we could to help rebuild our spoiled appetites. Luckily for us the rest of our breakfast was a lot less disagreeable.

"Oh, this is heavenly!" said Eri, chomping down on a slice of beef. "Surreal!"

I couldn't agree with her more and suddenly the grasshoppers were all but forgotten. "That old lady sure can whip up a mean breakfast. She's awesome."

"I wish I can cook like this one day."

"Of course you can! You're getting there, you know. Just keep going. I know you can do it."

"Well, it's all thanks to you, Sensei. If it weren't for you, I'd still be useless in the kitchen. Now I don't need to depend so much on TV dinners and microwaveables, you know?"

"You mean… you still eat those things? Can't be good for your health."

"Only someti– uh, rarely! Like when I'm feeling lazy or I miss the taste. Ehe… Oh, I got it!" Her eyes sparkled with a diamond sheen with the birth of another idea. "Neku, how do you feel about cooking dinner together once in a while?"

"Dinner… t-together?" I probably knew what she was going on about, but was all ears for more details. My hunch told me it would be something enjoyable.

"Yeah, why not? We can bring the ingredients to my place or yours and cook, and once our hard work is done for the day, we can eat each other!"

Oh, that was a splendid plan! I was all for more buddy time (and skinship) with this girl, and cooking was one way to do that. Food is a coagulant that binds people together. I know how that's like. We always look forward to the cooking lessons I hold every Saturday. Cooperating with her at the stove is fun!

…There was one thing, though.

"Eri, did you say we could… eat each other?"

"Ooh, so you really are awake!" she laughed. "I'd have thought you were still asleep. Just making sure!"

"Too many things have happened already in the space of two hours for me to stay sleepy…"

Another slice of beef found itself at the mercy of her chopsticks. "But doesn't it sound nice? Cooking dinner together, that is."

My mind was going through all the good things that could possibly happen from that. "Not a bad idea at all. I don't see why we shouldn't give it a shot already. I mean, we already do these cooking lessons every week anyway… So how about this: instead of having our lesson in the morning, we'll hold it in the evening. Then we can prepare dinner at the same time. Two birds, one stone."

"Nice! I knew you wouldn't deny li'l ol me!" She went for a sip of miso soup before continuing with a dreamy faraway look in her eyes. "It's gonna be awesome. Me at the skillet, you at the pot! Or something like that. Oh, before I forget…"

"Yeah?"

"Everyone gets sweaty working in the kitchen, right? So before dinner, a bath is absolutely necessary. No exceptions! You know how gross it is to do anything when you're drenched in sweat. Thought I might tell you while it's still fresh in my mind, you know? Oh, and while we're busy in the bath, it can't hurt to flirt and spoil one another a little, can it? I'll bet it'll whet your appetite nice and good!"

Count on her to turn any safe conversation topic into a totally unsafe one…

"If by 'flirt'," I said, "you actually mean 'sexually harass', I'm outta here."

"Oh my! You understand me sooo perfectly!" She was a living bag of chortles. "It's a pity neither of us has a bathtub though… I miss bubble baths so much."

In an attempt to make our chat more nosebleed-friendly, I asked, "Are baths that fun? I don't know 'cause I've only taken showers."

"Eh? ! For real? ! Not once in your life? !" Her eyes were wide like dinner plates. I didn't think it was such a big deal… "Then you don't know what you're missing! Bubbles have been known to release stress when you pop them. So having a tub full of them is a great way to unwind. Just keep popping and don't stop till they're all gone, and you'll feel _fantastic_ afterwards. I dunno how it works… Maybe it's that part inside all of us that screams obsessive-compulsive."

Something about that didn't sound right. "…You're confusing bubble baths with bubble wrap, Eri."

"Oh, I guess so! Silly me! Hee hee. Anyway, bubble baths are great. It's like floating in a sea of cotton candy. Kind of romantic, huh?"

My skin crawled at the thought. "Somehow I can't see how soaking in a tub of sticky evaporated sugar can be romantic."

She shook her head in a mockingly sympathetic way… and it was somewhat irritating. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. That is 'tsk' with three 'tsks'! Neku, you only think this way because you have yet to utilize the full capacity of your imagination. Think! Maybe a tub of cotton candy by itself isn't romantic, but if you're sitting in there together with the girl of your dreams… oho, things would take on a much different light, now wouldn't it?"

"Huh? !" Her words made me recoil. Me and Eri in a tub of – oh no, an image was starting to form in my head! "Wh-What's that supposed to – "

"Silence!" she snapped. "Just stay with me here and visualize. You're alone in the tub with your lady love. A good mood is frothing between you two… and then…"

"_This is great!" squealed Eri. "Oh Neku, I'm so happy you invited me to have a cotton candy bath with you."_

"_Eh, what are friends for?" Man oh man… I was suave and she knew it. Thanks to my velvety persuasion I managed to get her in the tub with me. Today was my lucky day!_

_Those eyes, filled with longing, never strayed anywhere else. I could feel myself melting in her hot gaze. As the atmosphere grew and our hormones surged through our systems like wildfire, I knew that something good would happen and it would be a matter of not if but when. And my guess was right on the mark. She suddenly stood up, her naked body slathered with the stuff, and proceeded to make herself comfortable sitting in my lap. Whoa! Her smooth creamy skin, her luscious toned body… Everything I had longed to touch in my wildest dreams was sitting on top of me!_

"_I can't take it anymore, Neku," she breathed, hugging me close. "Eat me!"_

"Neku, heel, heel! You're bleeding into your rice!"

"Whuh?"

I snapped back to reality and discovered to my horror that my rice bowl had turned a gruesome reddish hue. There was nothing I could do to salvage the bloodied remnants of my food.

Eri jabbed tissues up my nostrils. "Well, if it's any comfort, you're an astonishing visualiser. I didn't even need to say anything."

"Sh-Shut up, this is all because you're such a tease! Half of my pocket money is spent on tissues alone because of you!"

"Why, thank you!" she laughed. "You just helped give me a delicious boost to my ego. Ah, speaking of delicious, we should be eating!"

"You've come back to your senses at last, I see…"

"Would you like some of my rice?" she offered. "I can share half."

"It's fine. I'm nearly full, anyway. I'll just polish off the rest of the food."

"Really? If that's the case, then more for me. Hee hee."

Five seconds of peace couldn't even get by before she spoke up in jest again.

"Incidentally," she said slyly, "who was it you were fantasizing about being a living stick of cotton candy?"

Gah, she _had_ to ask that! I nearly choked. "No… No one in particular…"

"Come now, you're not a good liar. You wouldn't get a nose-splosion if you weren't thinking of _somebody_." That's true… but I couldn't say it was her! What should I say?

"Er… This…"

"Was it me?" She was pointing playfully at herself.

"Ah… Um…" _Yes, it's you, Eri! I want to devour you so bad!_ …is what I wanted to say. But I just couldn't. It would be very inappropriate. Dammit, why did she have to ask the trickiest questions? She loved backing me into corners I had no way of escaping from. One had to admit she had a sharp mind to keep winning against me… Either that, or I was simply too slow.

In the meantime, I had an answer to give and she was waiting for it.

"Eri, it's… see… it's a little complicated to – "

"Oh, the grilled eel is good." And she popped some more into her mouth.

"Really? Ah, you're right. I should – " My common sense returned to me in a snap and I gaped at her. "Wait, y-you changed topics? !"

"Huh?"

"…Ah, never mind. Let's carry on with breakfast already." That was a weird way to dodge that bullet…

Mealtime was over soon. There's nothing quite like a tasty breakfast to start the morning, and ours was like a dream come true. Not a crumb remained. We were both very contented and inclined to give Teppeki Inn five stars for excellent room service.

In fact, if it weren't for one tiny thing, it would have been perfect…

"So," began Eri, "what're we going to do about these grasshoppers?"

That's the question I was hoping to not answer. The bowl of teriyaki grasshoppers sat between us, desperately begging to be eaten. "Eat us!" we imagined them imploring in their teeny little chipmunk voices. We weren't so desperate to oblige.

"How does one expect us to eat this?" I huffed with arms crossed. "This is more than disgusting."

"Entomophagy is alive in many parts of the world," she said, referring to the practice of eating insects for sustenance, "but it sure as heck is never gonna be my cup of tea! Ever!" And she made a face to drive home her point.

"I hear you. But if we just chuck it away, it'll be a waste… wouldn't it?"

"And the old lady will be sad. I know how tough it can be to cook. So should we at least take a bite? Just a teeny one."

"A… A bite? ! What, of this? !" I picked up one of the grasshoppers with my chopsticks and held it up for both of us to look and retch at. It was cooked whole just like the rest… You could see every part of it: the eyes, feelers, wings, legs…

"Oh, _gross!_" she nearly shrieked. "It really looks like something out of one of those crazy reality TV shows. Still… it'd be mean of us to just ignore it. You go first, Neku."

"Huh? ! Oh no, _you_ go first. Since you brought this up, you get first dibs. By all means, be my guest!"

"Eew! No! Get to it already and good luck!"

"Ladies first."

"Aargh!" she roared, frustrated. "Neku, how can you call yourself a gentleman if you keep skiving? You've got to take responsibility, even if it's only once in a while!"

Just because I refused to eat this didn't make me less of a gentleman… But if this kept up it'd never end. One of us would have to undertake the daunting task of sinking our teeth into a dead six-legged crop destroyer. Might as well be me, then, though I wasn't looking forward to this, not that it was any surprising.

After a prolonged sigh, I muttered with great reluctance, "…Fine. I'll eat it."

"Huh? W-Wait a sec…"

"They always say it's good to try new things, I guess… so here goes."

Eri waited with bated breath as I drew the grasshopper closer and closer to my mouth. My lips were straining to part and I tried to will my stubborn jaws to work. And because my hands were shaking so badly, it made the insect at the end of my chopsticks look like it was wriggling for its life, making my morning even more nerve-wracking.

C'mon, just get this over with already…

And then Eri sprang up, grabbing my wrist. Her suddenness startled me and I nearly fumbled with my chopsticks.

"Stop!" she yelped urgently. "Don't… Don't eat it!"

"Eri, what's the matter?"

"Duh! You're going to risk your life eating this… What if you get yourself killed? !"

That was food for thought (no pun intended… maybe). What if I had a hidden allergy to insects? The results could be disastrous and bring a swift end to our date. Besides, it's not like I wanted to eat it in the first place anyway.

"You have a point, Eri. I'll leave it, then."

"Don't fret! I've decided…" She squeezed her eyes real shut like she was steeling herself to say something totally crazy… and guess what? It was. "I've decided that I'll eat it for you instead!"

"What? !"

She got up to lean over the table, which was outrageous in itself, but that her mouth was closing in on our arthropod dessert took the cake and sent alarm bells ringing in my head.

"No! No way!" I wrested control of my wrist, which was still being held tight in her grasp. "I wouldn't let you do that! You might catch something!"

"I-It's fine!" Horror gripped me when she plucked the grasshopper away with one hand and clamped her teeth on it. God, she was going to bite through cooked insect viscera if I didn't stop her soon!

"Wait! ! !"

I swooped in like a hawk and bit down on the other half of the grasshopper that was still sticking out from her teeth. In a second I realized how close our faces were and in our startled state we both chomped down on it at the same time. We hastily pulled away, overwhelmed not by the fact that we had bits of it in our mouths, but… well…

For the briefest of nanoseconds, I swear… when we bit down on it together…

…our lips touched.

The moment of contact was quick and almost unnoticeable, but I definitely felt it. It was no full-fledged accidental kiss, though, because there was hardly any pressure on my lips, just a gentle graze. But this was still enough to really make a lasting impression.

Having been in a number of relationships in the past, Eri was no stranger to oscular activity, but our accident had a more pronounced effect than making out with any of her previous boyfriends must have had – or so I would have liked it to be, anyway. In any case, if I wasn't so surprised myself, I'd have enjoyed seeing how cute she looked with her face all red while she was chewing absentmindedly on those insect parts. She was even frozen in that kinky posture, half-kneeling on the table.

"H-How was it?" she squeaked, when the horrid stuff was well down our throats.

"Uh… no idea. Wh-What do you think?"

"I… I don't know…"

Apparently we were so overwhelmed we forgot to taste the darned thing. We remembered it being crunchy like dried shrimp or even crispy like fried chicken, but other than that we were more preoccupied with the near miss our lips just had.

She clambered back down from the table and the two of us just sat there, silent. My heart was still a-fluttering and she was the same way, I'd bet.

"S-Sorry," I muttered, "my… my bad."

"No, uh, there's nothing you need to worry about…"

Suddenly that vulnerable side of her resurfaced and reminded me that even Eri could get self-conscious.

"Oh!" she spluttered in a hurry. "Wh-What say we take a walk around the neighbourhood? I-It's too early for shopping but we can get some sightseeing in! Nice morning, you know? Um, shall… shall we?"

"Yeah, s-sure, let's… Why not? L-Lovely morning, beautiful day!"

On the weird note, breakfast was now truly over. Despite our tact and thoughtfulness, in the end we completely forgot about the rest of the grasshoppers.

Not a single word more was spoken afterward. The whole time we were changing, and even when we had ventured out of the inn and onto the streets, we were silent. I think we were thinking the same thing, asking ourselves the same question, over and over.

Did we just kiss? Didn't we?

Which was it?

XOXOXOXOXO

Out on our walk for a spell of fresh air, we managed to find a spot on a flyover where we could look at the townscape from above. I had been born and raised in Shibuya, so tall buildings and large crowds were the norm in my life. To be able to see a place where people lived quiet lives and where nothing was more than two storeys high was a change of pace I greatly appreciated.

We stood side by side watching the town come to life as the morning began. The grumble of shutters being pulled up signaled the start of business for shopkeepers and stallholders. Middle-aged women – family mums most likely – trooped out by the handfuls to buy groceries. A quartet of elderly men was taking a stroll, probably talking about the good old days while plodding along on slow legs and walking sticks. Then we spied a lone teenage schoolgirl standing around and waiting for someone. A boy presently came rushing over and after a spurt of quick banter they were off. Eri chuckled at the sight.

"That's so cute," she said. "Did you see that?"

"Yeah, I think they're a couple, most likely."

"Exactly. Youth is such a wonderful thing, isn't it?"

I was quite amused. "You're not old, Eri."

"They remind me a lot of us. Every day either you or I would wait at the bus stop for the other, and when we meet we'd get on the bus together."

Ah, that was true. Some of life's pleasures were the simplest ones, you know?

I was about to say something when Eri nudged me in the arm and pointed at the couple who was about to disappear under the flyover's shadow. My eyes were squinting for a better look but I didn't see anything that stood out in particular. That is, until Eri told me what it was that gripped her attention.

"Look!" she remarked. "The guy has his arm around her shoulder. So they _are_ a couple. Just look at them, enthralled with each other's presence without a care for the world. How sweet!"

I felt jealous of them just for being together and in love. They enticed me with their public displays of affection and made me want to emulate them so badly. What fun it must be to take furtive glances all around to make sure no one was looking before going for a quick peck or a few precious seconds of innocent petting. Eri and I continued to watch the couple in secret. The joys of being in love, eh? I wished I could do things like that with Eri. Holding hands and such…

Then something unexpected happened. They suddenly ducked into a corner of the street where there was plenty of shade. The two of us could see them quite clearly though. My jaw clattered to the cement when the boy plunged his hand up her skirt and started feeling up her buttocks. She responded by tearing his collar wide open and licking his neck aggressively. Their antics were quickly reaching disturbing levels and I was worried we might have an R-rated situation on our hands.

What part about them made those two a "sweet couple", now? I get that lust is a part of us but doing things like that in broad daylight is a bit…

"…The novelty," I muttered uneasily, "just lost its charm, huh?"

"Y-Yeah…" The sight made Eri fidget. "I do some outrageous things sometimes, but not… this. Neku, c'mon, we're outta here. We should let them keep their privacy."

"And we should keep our breakfast in our stomachs where they belong. Let's go."

We retreated to a safer sector of the neighbourhood and in so doing stumbled upon a marketplace. It was teeming with people and getting awfully crowded at that. Nowhere near as packed as during the Hachi Fest, but it was still easy to be swept up in the throng and get seriously lost. We kind of rushed onto the scene a tad too quickly and now we were being jostled around like ragdolls. Last night's misadventure taught me about the dangers of being separated and I resolved not to make the same mistake twice, especially in this unfamiliar town. Eri and I had to stick together.

"It'll get busy real soon," I said to her. "Here! Take my hand so we don't get split up."

She hesitated, but only for a half-second. Then, with a nod, she clasped my hand in hers and allowed me to lead her through the sea of townsfolk. I was glad I did what I did. There were one or two times when someone would get between us by accident and almost pull us apart, but our grip remained firm and everything was A-OK.

It didn't occur to me right away because I was busy trying to get us out of there, but eventually I did notice that we were holding hands. This was hardly the place for romance, of course, but it still sent shivers up my spine. Ah… We're one step closer to being a real couple now…

I emerged from the marketplace relatively unscathed with my quarry in tow. Free at last!

"Alright, good!" I said. "Man, that was pretty unsafe. But now we're – whuh? !"

Eri wasn't with me. In her place was this old geezer, struggling to stand straight with his cane. Did I somehow let go of Eri's hand and grab this fellow's when I was being pushed about? Then where was she? !

The senior whom I had mistakenly dragged along was panting with a vengeance. "Son," he gasped, "what are you doing? I don't need help walking, you know."

"I'm terribly sorry. I thought I was holding my friend's hand." And with a few frantic bows, I dove straight back into the crowd, leaving the bemused man behind.

Each passing second made my panic grow. I searched left and right but couldn't find her. Everywhere I looked there were people I didn't recognize. No, I couldn't afford to lose her here! Not after the nightmare I went through last night. I vowed to protect her… but I messed up again!

Where was she? !

In desperation, I cried out her name.

"Eri!"

"Neku? Over here!"

I spun in the direction of that familiar voice. It was her! Thank goodness. She wasn't in any trouble. In fact, she was busy buying stuff from a snack stall! And here I was worried sick about her.

"There you are! What're you doing here, Eri?"

"Um… getting some takoyaki?"

"That much I can tell! But why did you let go of my hand? It's dangerous to be alone in a place like this." All the more so for a pretty gal like her!

"I didn't let go," she claimed. "I was holding on real tight! But I lost my grip when someone bumped into me. I tried to get back to you, but then I came across this stall and… well, here I am…"

I rubbed the back of my neck as I let out a groan. "So you got distracted, is what you're trying to tell me? Goodness… Ah, well, for now let's get out of here."

After making doubly sure I was holding the hand of the right person, I hauled Eri and her takoyaki out of the crowd for much-needed oxygen and elbow space. Although I was a bit miffed that I ended up with the old man earlier, I was glad to know that at least my friend was safe and with me. How she pulled off that magic escape trick was beyond me but it didn't matter anymore.

Now that we were a safe distance away, I had some words for her. "You worried me just now, Eri… I thought you'd disappeared! If we're ever in a crowd like that again, please stay close to me."

"Okay, sure," were her words so carelessly spoken. "But don't worry, I'll be fine!"

"That's not what you should be saying!"

She suddenly understood the gravity of the danger she could have been in and her cheeriness dissolved away. "I'm sorry, Neku. I wouldn't do it again…"

The slump in her shoulders told me she was deeply sorry that she made me worry. She almost looked like a dog with its ears down and tail between its legs, and because I didn't like seeing sad girls, the sight of her felt like a punch to the gut and I couldn't stand it. Worried about her I may have been, but was I too harsh?

I patted her on the head, hoping to bring her spirits back up. "Never mind. So long as you understand, it's cool. Sorry for raising my voice like that. I just… I don't want to lose you like I thought I did last night. Please stay close to me from now on."

"Okay, Neku."

"I may not look like much but I want you to be safe because I care about – " Wait. Agh, hold on. This was steering too close to the realm of subtle romance already. Gotta cut it short before things got too sappy. "Gah… Anyway, just watch yourself from now on, Eri. Please." And she nodded. She'd be more careful now, hopefully.

"Thank you," she muttered softly, "for always watching out for me. I do get careless now and again."

"Make that always."

Unfazed by my sarcasm, she just giggled lightly. "Come to think of it, I haven't thanked you yet."

"Huh? For what? And didn't you just do that?"

"No, this is for last night. When the innkeeper told me you went out of your way to try and search for me, I was really moved."

"Is… Is that so?" That's right. The innkeeper must have told her about me… about how crazy I was to run around the neighbourhood like a headless chicken.

"You were a jerk moments earlier, but you redeemed yourself at the last minute with that rescue attempt. Heh, for all of your foolhardiness, you were quite gallant. You've always done lots of things for me, but you really took me by surprise there."

"Oh, uh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Too bad your princess was in another castle," she wisecracked.

"…I'm not an Italian plumber, Eri."

"Ha ha ha!" She held up the box of food she just bought. "Anyway, I got some takoyaki… Let's share it?"

"Are you sure? You did buy it with your own money…"

When she beams at me with an ever so slight cock of her head to the side, like now, nothing in the world is cuter. "I bought it for us both. Why not?"

"Alright, but next time it's my treat."

"Hee hee. Then I want crepes!"

XOXOXOXOXO

"Eri."

"Yeah?"

"I did tell you to stay close to me…"

"And I'm doing precisely that now, aren't I?"

"…but not this close. I can't even walk properly!"

We were staggering past a row of shops, and Eri, not wishing to incur my wrath again from being separated, was clinging onto me so closely we might as well be conjoined twins. It was hard to walk without getting our feet snagged with each other every few steps. The two of us became very difficult to not notice. Everyone's eyes were on us. But I'll bet she was enjoying every bit of it, embarrassment be darned.

"Eri, this is a bit much – "

"Don't mind it… It's fine, it's fine! Just imagine we're like that couple from earlier… minus the disgusting part." She pressed against my person even more.

Gwoh…! Was that her breast that was rubbing against my arm? This… This… softness was unbelievable. Her chest wasn't horrendously large like some girls I've seen, but she was no cutting board either. Just nice.

"Neku." Eri kept her voice down so no one could hear her but me.

"H-Huh? What is it now?"

"I hope you're not comparing my breasts to that juggernaut over there. I'm really sensitive about my chest size, I'll have you know."

She snapped her head in the direction of a couple of women having tea, and I knew at a glance which one she was referring to: the young lass with the massive roadblock of a chest. The sweater she was wearing was thick and a little on the frumpy side but failed to hide its monstrous size.

Eri continued to lament, "Had I drunk a little more milk during my school days, I might be a size bigger. But alas, puberty is past and gone so what you see is what you get…"

What's a guy to say to something like this?

"You keep gawking at that girl," she hissed. "I get that mine are unsatisfactory, but…"

"Huh? ! Wait a sec…"

Now Eri was even getting poetic about her 'underachievements'. "The natural selection process doesn't work in my favour here… Such are the hardships of life, I suppose… Now even my best friend has turned a blind eye to my charms and given in to the seductions of an ample chest. C'est la vie…"

"Hey, c'mon!" I snapped defensively. "Don't make me out to be some breast fetishist!"

The mandibles of everyone in the vicinity dropped wide open. What's this? This boy with the orange broom of a hairdo had the gall to proclaim in public that he was a breast fetishist, now? That's what I figured they must have been thinking. Why did I have to be an idiot and talk so audibly? The sad part was, this wasn't the first time such a compromising incident has happened to me. Yesterday in the bath I was already misconstrued as a groping pervert. Now I had to chalk another unfortunate misunderstanding to my credit.

"Eri," I mumbled, "are you a good runner?"

"I guess I'm okay – whoa? !"

I grabbed her hand and sped off like lightning. "Not sticking around. We're outta here!"

Through a series of blind twists and turns we went full circle and were back to the flyover where we had spied on the flirting couple.

Our run had left me out of breath. "So much for a 'quiet', 'refreshing' and 'uneventful' morning walk."

"Look at the bright side," she said. "At least we've got something to laugh about."

"Says you."

Eri took a casual gander at the street corner that the overly romantic couple had violated with their eye-sore of a make-out session. They had long gone, leaving the townscape safe for all ages to admire once more.

Her gaze lingered on the roads. "Hey Neku, can I ask you for a wee favour?"

"Sure. Shoot."

"Seeing that woman with the huge rack reminded me…"

"Of what?"

"I think I need a new bra. While we were running I saw this lingerie store… Um, could you come with?"

_Thwack!_ The imaginary sound of her nonchalant attitude hitting me reverberated through my skull. She wanted me to accompany her to a lingerie store? ! Oh wait, she'd done this before with me once, when she took me out on our first date. Should be peanuts for me now, right? Except… all I remembered from back then was that I had so great a nosebleed I passed out for a good while. The entire memory of my being there was wiped out as a result, and I had no recollection of how spending time in such a place was like. This would be like my first time!

No, calm down… We've done more ridiculous things together before. Bathing, sharing the same bed, even seeing each other naked… What's a trip to a lingerie store compared to tomfoolery like that, eh? I'd be fine! …I hoped.

"Never would've thought there's a _Lacy Temptations_ branch in this here town," she said. "They've got this selection of stuff on sale and they're just so cuuuute! I must have them. _Must._ Please come with me, Neku? Please?"

"Uh, I…"

"Neku, we're on a date now, right?"

"Yes, but – "

"Then let's go! Shopping is a perfectly legitimate dating activity. You should know that by now. So come on, time's a-wasting! Good deals are not meant to be passed up, even more so if they are on underwear!" She clutched onto my arm with her deathly tight fingers and started walking, leaving me no choice but to follow. My protests fell on deaf ears. Was this a shopping trip I could survive?

XOXOXOXOXO

Show Eri a shop full of clothes – or undergarments as the case may be – and she goes more hyper than a hamster on coffee.

"Oh my gosh!" she squealed. "Everything about this bra is so cute! It has a clean ergonomic shape and the low hem makes it possible to wear dresses with plunging necklines without accidentally showing your bra cups! The framework lifts and squeezes the breasts for maximum cleavage that's a must if you're feeling sexy! And I recognize this type of bra: it blends in with your skin so well it's like you're not wearing one. It's _that_ comfortable!"

Glad that she's having fun… but I was a fish out of water. Guys simply do not belong in lingerie stores, 'nuff said. There was underwear as far as the eye could see, so there was no place I could look that was safe!

"You sure know your stuff, miss," said the salesperson approvingly. "What is your size? I'll get one that suits you so you can try it out."

Ooh, what's this? ! I just heard something interesting… What was her answer going to be? …What? It's normal for guys to be curious about these things!

"I'm a B-cup. Oh, by the way, do you have any in maroon?"

Hmmm… B is average from what I've heard – neither too small nor large – but that's just fine with me. Either way, that wasn't bad at all. Ah, and maroon seemed to be her favourite colour –

Ugh…! It's bad enough that I was standing smack dab in the middle of a sea of lace and stockings, but having those thoughts reinforced the notion that I was turning into a real pervert already…

Gotta think normally! Gotta force my brain to think normally… That's right… Act normal… Engage in perfectly nice and normal conversations with Eri… and everything will be fine and normal… Yes… normal… "Say, Eri, did you find anything you li– "

She had disappeared. How many times did she have to pull this trick?

"Eri? Hey, Eri…"

"'Sup?"

Her head poked out from behind the curtains of the fitting room right next to me, startling me enough to make me jump. So she had already gone inside to try out those bras, huh… Wait a minute! Was she really comfortable doing it behind a flimsy piece of cloth? If someone accidentally brushed their hand against it… or a strong draft from the air-conditioning whisked it aside… or, heaven forbid, someone tripped nearby and grabbed the curtain to save himself but fell anyway, ripping it wide open… the world would see her!

"Oh, sorry, you were changing," I muttered, getting nervous. "Don't mind me, then. Take your time."

"Sorry, I might take a while. Fitting into the right bra is serious business! A little comfort goes a long way. Oh, by the way, I'll need your input shortly, so don't go away."

"My… input?"

She flashed a cunning look at me, reflecting her naughty nature. "I'm going to need your opinion on… certain attire that is normally hidden away from public eyes. You'll know when you see it." Then she vanished and went back to changing.

Underwear, huh… She must want to know what I thought of her in maroon bras or whatever.

Why did she have to worry so much about things that she's never going to show anyone? If no one sees how I make my bed or arrange the food in my fridge, why should I care? Maybe this was something only girls could understand. Or maybe it's like those "good luck" panties that they wear to important occasions like dates or job interviews. I dunno.

Hold the phone. I'm the only person she's exclusively shown her underwear to!

When she stays over at my place and is done bathing, she never puts her clothes back on. Either she's too lazy or she wants to tease me with her sex appeal or both. It's usually both. And when she's ready to hit the sack, don't expect her to put on at least a nightie, because she wouldn't. Her refusals to do so are vehement. "This is the way I sleep, so there," she would reason.

It's no secret that I've seen her half-naked a million times by now. We're really close, so she doesn't think twice stripping to the bare essentials in my presence. And our tight-knit friendship gives her the right to play around with me with total abandon. Of course, despite freaking out countless times from her wild behaviour, I've never once complained.

Eri is still an awfully nice girl on the inside, despite her weird behaviour. My heart pounds just thinking of her…

There must be a deeper meaning to wanting to poke fun at me so often and so much. Before, it'd have been pure mischief. But now it felt like she just wanted me to notice her more… She's like one of those children who pull pranks just to get attention.

"Neku," came her voice, "is it okay if we chat a bit while I'm changing? I'm sure you're numb from waiting so how about we talk?"

"I'm fine with the waiting part. I don't want you to rush and buy the wrong thing, but I sure could use a little conversation. So what's on your mind?"

"Uh… Hmmm…"

She plucked a random topic from the air and blurted it out.

"How many kids do you want to have when you start a family?"

My head exploded.

"S-Say what? !"

My outburst caused Eri to realize how inappropriate she sounded and her words came out in a panicked jumble. The upshot was that she now sounded even more inappropriate. "N-No, I didn't specifically mean starting a family with me or anything, it's just a question I've – "

Start a family with Eri? Have kids with Eri? ! There's only one real (and preferable) way to do make that happen, and just having the thought of it sloshing around in my head made my nose act up.

"Neku… do you have a nosebleed already?"

"H-How do you know? !"

"…Wild guess."

Right on the mark for a 'wild guess', eh? ! As the salesperson kindly handed me some tissues – employees in this line of work have to be prepared for the hot-blooded boyfriends of potential customers, after all – I nonetheless replied as honestly as I could. "I'm… I'm not ready for children yet. We're still in college and now's hardly the time. Er, please don't misunderstand though! It's not like I'm _desperately_ trying to do it with you or anything! Nuh-uh!"

"D-Don't worry… I know."

All this veiled talk about birds and bees was creating an uncomfortable rift I knew we'd be better off without. That we both knew she was still in a precarious position made the whole affair even worse.

Her voice seeped out meekly. "Um, c-can we talk about something else?"

"Y-Yes please." Oh, I got just the thing. "Say, what do you think of this whole place so far?"

"The suburbs, you mean? It's awesome!" The quietness was gone and the lively girl that was her was back. "The surroundings are pretty and I like how everyone goes about their daily lives in peace. It's a lot like my home town, that's the best part!"

Hmm? What did she say? "Your home town? Aren't you a Shibuyan like me?"

"No, I was actually born in Fukushima. Lived half of my life in a residential area much like this neighbourhood. That's why this place brings back memories."

"That's news to me," I said, stunned. "I always thought you were a city girl."

"Heh… Just goes to show that looks can be deceiving. But don't mistake me for some country bumpkin, I'm warning you!"

I had more questions for her. "If you were originally from Fukushima, then why did you come all the way to Shibuya?"

"I'll tell you later. There are more pressing matters at hand. So why don't you haul your fine head through here and give me some feedback? Unless you tell me something, I think it's going to be a tough time deciding what to buy."

I froze and sweat started to gush from my neck by the bucketload.

"Y-You're indecent in there," I stammered, "aren't you?"

"Oh Neku," she laughed, "'Indecent' is hardly the word to use here. Why can't you say 'ravishing' instead? Come on and take a look already. You wouldn't be disappointed, but I still need a guy's viewpoint and you fit the bill."

Of course I was happy to help! One could never tire of Eri in her underwear no matter how many glimpses one had taken. But is it even okay to stick your head into a fitting room when everyone knows there is a girl inside not wearing a whole lot? Wouldn't the other customers think I was perverted? Wouldn't they think _we_ were?

"It's too weird for me to do that, Eri… Tongues will start wagging."

"Who cares what they say?" she countered. "It's not as big a deal as you think."

"I'm still not convinced it's alright…"

"Ugh, you…!"

Hey kids, fun fact. Did you know you can't deny Eri and expect to win? It's a scientific fact. I would re-learn this lesson the hard way.

Her voice took on a sinister lilt, like she's ready to commit a crime. "You idiot… If you're that worried about people looking, then get inside here where no one will see you!"

"Wait a mi– ack? !"

Suddenly both of her arms shot out from the curtains at me, fingers grasping my collar. Then, with a burst of superhuman strength, she yanked me in. The curtains got in my face and I was momentarily disoriented. The momentum caused me to crash right into her, eliciting grunts from both of us. Instinctively I held my hands out to keep my balance, and my palms slapped neatly onto the wall in front of me. I was saved from getting a busted forehead.

If it wasn't obvious enough, Eri had dragged me into the fitting room, and a bit too forcefully at that. She was standing with her back against the wall, trapped from all directions: my outstretched arms on either side, and me in front. Our faces came so near… and her soothing citrus breath glided across my cheeks and tickled them so good. And she was so surprised by how things turned out that she forgot to let go of my collar. Or, well… to be more precise, her grip softened up a little and her hands slid down to my chest and got my spine tingling. My goodness, what an intimate position we were in!

Eri was clad in this number… an intense combination of lace and straps that was hotter than jalapeno peppers. Dyed blood-red, it demanded attention to the wearer. She… She was beautiful. She loves to play predator on my hormones, parading around the house while severely underdressed, but our close encounter took away much of her ferocity; now she was so shy she couldn't do much but return my bug-eyed gaze.

It would be a while before either of us could get our voices back. Totally unlike herself, she was actually stuttering. "H-How do I look?"

I plucked the first thing that came to mind and passed it off as an answer. It came across as weird and faltering.

"You're… um… what's that word… 'ravishing'?"

"R-Really? Ah… uh…" It's cute seeing her at a loss for words for once. "Th-Thanks, but… I was hoping that your opinion would be a bit more… constructive."

She's blushing so hard I thought she might lose it. And I could hardly blame myself for feeling the same way. I'd been in similar "stuck-in-the-same-enclosed-space-while-Eri-is-und ressed" situations with her. There was our first date, when she went into hiding with me in a fitting room at a boutique, not wanting her then-boyfriend to get the wrong idea about us. During the last Hachi Fest, a cubicle in the ladies' washroom became our next place to play hide-and-seek. So this was no different. But our growing feelings for each other made us a lot more jumpy than usual.

"Constructive? Well…" I paused for thought and to give myself a moment to will my nose to stop leaking. But how could I think properly when she had these beautiful eyes trained on me! My reply that came afterwards was most surprising to her as well as to myself.

"E-Eri, how should I put this… Maroon is nice and so is pink… B-But I think you look best in white."

Oh my god, I did _not_ just say that!

"Y-You like white, Neku?" She covered her mouth with her hands. "I… I thought you were the sort of guy who likes underwear with, uh, bold colours…"

"Huh? You were… planning on wearing it for me?"

"Eh? Ah… this… um…"

She swallowed hard as I waited for her to speak. The blood was rushing to my head in gallons as I tried to make sense of what she said. I get that she was an attention-craver, and that she was vain to a fault, but what did she mean when she said she thought I liked seeing loud-coloured –

"Well, see…" Thumbs twiddling, lips in a ghost of a nervous smile, she admitted, "I thought, um, you might like me even more if I wore something sexier…"

Uwoooh…! Eri wanted to be sure – cement-and-concrete sure – that I still liked her, so she went to such an extent as to choose the right underwear? ! I was happy. I was moved. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't! My heart was flatlining from the joy! But mind you, I wasn't shallow. And I knew _she_ wasn't shallow. She just wanted some security in our friendship… or was this more like a relationship already?

I peeled my hands away from the wall and told her kindly, "Forget what I just said about white bras or whatever. You're free to wear what you want. Don't wear something you don't like. I'd be happier if you were yourself."

I guess that's what she really wanted to hear. She relaxed greatly and I was rewarded with a wide grin that melted me from the inside.

"Thanks, Neku. I actually figured you might say that, to be honest."

"D-Don't mention it. We're friends."

"Also," she chuckled, "I'm surprised your nose hasn't started acting up already."

I groaned. "It will sooner or later, no thanks to you."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get changed. Unless… you want to help me? Hee hee."

XOXOXOXOXO

"Thank you for your patronage! Please come again."

Eri was beaming from ear to ear. There's no better rush for her than going home from a shopping trip with her hands full. Each of us was carrying a shopping bag.

"So in the end," I said, "you bought not only white, but maroon and pink too."

"And black. Don't forget black! It's the ultimate in sexy."

"I… I guess."

"Anyway, that was fun. Thanks for helping me out with this, by the way. But the day's only started, and there's more we can do. Let's head back to the inn and drop off my stuff."

"Alright. Wanna hit up a café for some tea next?"

"Sounds good," she chirped. "It'll be nice to have a little something to help muffle the texture of grasshoppers that's still lingering in our mouths."

"Ugh, don't remind me. Oh, I still want to hear about why you moved from Fukushima to Shibuya, so we might as well talk about it over snacks. And another thing: it's my treat this time. I insist."

She laughed good-naturedly. "Aha! You're finally getting the hang of dating, I see!"

"…Eh, I try."

"Now, now, no need to be so humble. You're not as awkward as you think you are anymore, and you should be proud of that!"

"I certainly hope you meant that as a compliment…"

"Ha ha ha!"

I hadn't found an opportunity to tell her my feelings yet, and we had already nearly kissed twice! Was this a sign?

Oh well, Eri was as happy as a clam, so here's hoping things would be relatively smooth sailing from now on, at least till I made the actual confession. I didn't want anyone or anything to come along and mess things up. There's a two-seater ride to a romantic relationship and we'd booked the tickets, so all I had to do was ask her to take it with me. Nothing was going to derail us!

"Ooh, look!" squealed Eri. "It's a swimsuit store! Perfect timing… I need a new two-piece."

"But we just went to a boutique…?"

"Underwear is sexy, but a bra does not a bikini make. Hey, I might set new standards for fashion if I went to the beach in a Super V, but I'd probably get arrested before it hits it off with the general public."

"So… we're going in there? What about putting these things back in our – "

"No!" she snapped. "They're having a sale! They get snapped up lightning quick if you don't act fast! Come on, get your rear into gear! …Ooh, maybe I'll try a maillot this time… You'll give me your feedback as usual, right, Neku? Right? Good! Let's go!"

She thundered off in the direction of the store like a living ball of energy, and I struggled to play catch up. If this was anything to go by, being in a relationship with her would have its challenges…


	24. Will You Go Out With Me?

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 24)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Say 'Ahhh'."

"A-Ahhh…"

The spoonful of apple pie slipped into my open mouth. My senses were immediately invaded by both a fruity aroma and the sweetness of a… happy kind of embarrassment.

Eri pulled the spoon out. "Sooo… what do you think?"

"It's… good. Very nice taste. But…"

"Mmm?"

"…C-Could you, like, not feed me anymore? If it's at home I'd be fine, I guess, but it feels weird doing this in public."

"Just one last time? Pretty please?"

I spluttered, "Y-You've had fifteen 'one last times' in the past few minutes!"

"Okay, then this will be the very last time. The final, lastest time, I promise!"

I wouldn't mind if no one was looking, but today the café was full house even so early in the morning and at least thirty pairs of eyes were secretly directed at us. And the only seats available had to be right next to the window where everyone could see us! What's a person got to do to get a corner seat? Tea in the morning was not supposed to be so hectic.

"Neku, say 'Ahhh'…"

The stares and sideways glances of the other customers were getting to me but I was forced to humour her again. "Ahhh."

The wholesome flavour of apple goodness graced my tongue once more. "Delicious, no? Apple pies are impossible to resist!"

I saw her spear her pie again. She was getting ready to feed me again, wasn't she? ! I should distract her.

"Oh right," I began, "you never did tell me why you moved from Fukushima to Shibuya."

Her eyes lit up upon remembering, and luckily for me it helped her forget about her strange feeding fetish for a while. "Ah yes, I believe I owe you a life story. But do you really want to listen? I don't like being a snoozer."

I was firm in my answer. "I'm very interested to know."

"Hee hee. Alright, I'll tell you. It's a relatively simple story though, so if you're hoping for a blockbuster plot or a twist in the ending you might be disappointed."

And so her tale began…

"So I was born in Fukushima, right? And I was raised there too, for about fifteen years. The residential area where I lived was a nice and peaceful suburban place, much like this one. And I was happy, for the most part."

"For the most part?"

"My parents are very strict," she sighed. "Always have been. Kept me on a tight leash 24/7, so it was hard for me to do much of anything without them having something to say. Curfews were inflexible, and at least half of my free time came under scrutiny. It didn't help matters that I was always a wild child, so I was always at loggerheads with them on various things.

"'You can't do this!' 'You can't do that!' That's the stuff I always hear from them. So as you can guess, growing up wasn't easy. Sure, there were fun times to be had… It's not like my family was so feudal that my childhood was totally bleak, but… I couldn't stretch my wings, you know? Living in that kind of environment was no cakewalk."

"I don't claim to know what it's like to have parents," I said, picking my words carefully, "but I should think it's normal for them to be that… demanding."

"Maybe." Eri frowned a little. She definitely had parent issues… "Anyway, it was hard to be myself."

"Sorry to hear that… But what's this got to do with your relocation to Shibuya?"

She gave herself a few seconds of pause to collect her thoughts together, chewing her mouthful of pie thoroughly. "My folks have always been saying that I should eventually go to a respectable university and take up a course in science or something… But since fashion is my interest, I could never agree with them on that front."

"Must be tough having to live up to expectations you know you don't want to fulfill." I took another chunk of marble cake. "Incidentally, what do your parents work as?"

"Dad's a civil engineer and Mum's a doctor."

I gave her an understanding nod. "Maybe they want you to get a career in science simply because it worked well for the two of them. Perhaps you could follow in their footsteps, is what they might be thinking."

"But I don't like medicine or engineering," she protested. "Fashion's my life! I kept telling them over and over that I didn't like stuff like that, but they wouldn't have any of it. Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell them I wanted to pursue a career in fashion design."

"What happened?"

She raked the fingers of one hand through her bubblegum pink locks, apparently not a fan of her own parents getting in the way of her freedom.

"Ah well, you can probably guess. They were really against it and said all kinds of things like how I wouldn't be able to land a stable job if I went into fashion and how fickle my future would be. I get that they're worried, but I didn't like how they didn't even stop to consider my interests."

"But yet you're in college doing a degree in fashion design… Didn't your parents object?" I recoiled when I hit upon a crazy thought. "Or… Or maybe you defied them and ran away from home to settle in Shibuya and do what you've always wanted to do? !"

She laughed briefly. "No, calm down, Neku. It's nothing so dramatic."

"S-Sorry. I got carried away."

"It took a long time and a lot of arguments before they finally gave in. I guess they were just as fed up with all the fighting as I was. So we made a deal."

"A deal?"

Now finished with her apple pie, she washed it down with a sip of tea. "They told me I was free to take a course in fashion design, but if I couldn't find a job within a year of graduating, I was to help out in my father's company. Dad said that he could help secure a secretarial position for me if it came to that."

"Well, that sounds reasonable enough. Even if things don't work out – and I hope they do – at least you've got something to fall back on."

"I used my newly-acquired leverage to my advantage and made an additional request to stay in Shibuya so I could get accustomed to life there. There's a university there I'd been eyeing to get into, so I reasoned that my transition to college would be smoother if I was used to Shibuyan surroundings. My parents didn't want me to have a rough start, so they agreed. And so I moved."

"And now you're in the college of your choice," I said. "Your folks gave you the green light on everything, so it worked out fine in the end, huh?"

"Yeah… I think."

What's wrong with her? She was staring into her tea with a vacant look in her eyes. Did I say something she didn't want to hear? I didn't think there was anything strange with what I said…

I didn't know what got her to be like this but I tried to put her at ease. "I'm sorry… I must have said something I shouldn't have."

"No, it's not like that at all!" she said, shaking her head. "It's just… well… I was thinking about Mum and Dad."

"…Homesick?"

"That's not it." She glanced a little to the side and bit her lip. "My parents were really hoping I could study engineering or medicine or maybe even law, and I said no. I remember how exasperated they were with me for being stubborn and making such a 'wrong' choice. They kept badgering me about reconsidering and changing my mind, so I knew they didn't like my decision.

"And when it was time for me to move to Shibuya, and my parents saw me off at the train station… I could feel their reluctance. They gave me their approval, sure, but I didn't feel like I earned it. We never really saw eye to eye about my preferred career.

"You know, Neku, I think I disappointed them. Maybe if I had done as they asked, they'd be happier. I dunno… What do you think?"

Eri always struck me as someone who was always brimming with confidence. Someone who could take on a hundred challenges and emerge a winner. I knew she could be a serious thinker if she wanted to, like how she used to lament her inability to cook, but I didn't think she'd have bigger worries about her life decisions. To me, she seemed like she had everything in order and that all she needed to do was go through with it. The guilt of fighting with her parents must have been terrible to deal with.

It was up to me to help her feel better. "If you took up something only because they wanted you to do, I don't think they'd be happy in the long run."

Her brows knitted together in a confused frown. "Why?"

"You wouldn't be happy doing something you don't like. And if your parents see that you don't enjoy your job, they'll be sad. You were young at the time so you weren't very mature yet, so they tried to veer you onto what they felt was the right track. They just wanted to make sure you don't go down the wrong path in life and have regrets later on. As annoying as they may sound, when it comes down to it, they were only looking out for you."

The frown remained, so she was still unconvinced. "My parents are more hardheaded than you think. I'm sure they care more about what I _should_ do rather than what I _want_ to do…"

"Like I said, they're only trying to carve a better life for you down the road. However, if you really can't see eye to eye with them on your studies, then it's best for you to go with your gut."

"You mean I should just follow what I feel is right for me…?"

"Right. You don't do it for your parents, Eri. You do it for yourself. Listen… They're just giving you options, but it doesn't mean that you should take them. Their words may be wise, but not absolute. It's perfectly alright to have an opinion. And you did the right thing to speak up and tell them."

"Really?"

"Positive," I said, patting her hand lightly. "Believe me, you'll be alright. And if your parents don't know about this already, then drop them a line and tell them how things are cooking on your end. I'm sure they'll give you their full support when they know you're doing just fine."

Eri looked at me, astonished. I didn't really think my advice was terribly good or anything… It just felt like the right thing to say. But she was visibly bowled over. And the 'light bulb' moment she just had burned brighter than a million suns.

"I think you have a point," she said slowly. "Mum and Dad must be worried that my chances of being employed are slim. The fashion world is competitive, so it's easy to see why they'd feel that way. And I know the economy's pretty bad these days… but I'm confident I can make it. I'm working hard… I just need to keep at it and people will notice! And I'll tell my parents not to worry about me."

"That's more like it," I praised, glad that she was smiling again. "The future is uncertain, but at least you have a goal in mind. That's what counts."

"Yeah!" She beamed at me in a show of appreciation. "Thanks, Neku. I know I can count on you. This has been bugging me for ages, but I feel like I can finally relax and actually take pride in myself."

"Got that cloud off your mind, huh? That's good." Heh… That's like another hundred manliness points for me!

Her face was starting to grow redder slowly but surely, and seeing that made mine do the same. I guess being stuck at the hip with her conditioned my emotions to react in tandem with hers. For a few moments we forgot about eating. She was stirring her teacup, but hadn't realized it was already empty. And I just poked what little left of my cake into itty-bitty pieces with my fork. We were quite distracted with each other.

"You always know what to say," she spoke at last. "For someone who's a self-proclaimed 'awkward fellow', you can be pretty smooth."

"I… I just said what I felt. Nothing special."

"You'd make an excellent counselor," she chuckled. "Anyway, my own troubles are over and done with… So now it's my turn to be agony aunt. One good turn deserves another, you know? It's only fair."

"I can't think of anything wrong with my life. I'm good, thanks." Besides, she's probably messing around like usual… And I was right.

"Come on, there's got to be something! Everyone worries about the future at some point. Everyone wishes the grass was greener on the other side. And _some_ people I know get too sexually frustrated for their own good…"

She giggled as I nearly spat out my cake. "What the heck… I'm not sexually – whatever."

"Oh my, denial!" she gasped. "But I speak the truth, don't I? Li'l ol you wouldn't have a condom in your knapsack otherwise."

"Ugh, you had to say that, didn't you? Tell you what, if you can drop the topic, I'll get you another apple pie."

"Really? Oh, how generous of you." Her eyes lit up like fireworks. "Okay, topic officially dropped. You mean it, right?"

"Sure, just take care not to get fat."

"Eh? ! Don't say things like that… You'll kill my appetite." Like a lot of girls I knew, she was a religious weight-watcher. This was one of her real weaknesses, and arguably the only way with which I could get in one of our silly arguments and win. But I didn't like being too mean, even if it was playfully so, and I almost never talked about this. Today, however, both of us were in a good mood, so…

"Don't worry," I deadpanned. "You can always go on a diet if things go south."

"Ooh! How dare you!" she seethed. "Well, don't expect me to help you with your homework anymore after this, young man! Hmph!"

"We're in totally different courses, Eri."

"Fine, you win this round."

I couldn't help laughing at my rare victory. But I kept my promise and called the waiter over to order a second helping for her, which soothed her annoyance somewhat. However, she always had a vindictive streak, so no one who got the better of her would truly escape unscathed. Wait, that's me, right?

"Never mind. I'll be sure to have my revenge in the bath later, Neku."

"Eh?"

She chose not to elaborate further and let it go with a barrage of crafty sniggers. When you don't tell someone what you have in store for them, it makes the paranoia that much worse. In this case, however, I was more curious than scared. Whatever this girl was planning for later, it'd definitely be something outrageous, but then again, such was her nature.

And deep down inside, both of us were looking forward to it.

XOXOXOXOXO

The evening had just begun to roll in when we were done shopping. The two of us came back to the inn clutching a bouquet of shopping bags in each hand. My arms were just about ready to fall off. The world could end in a few minutes, but she couldn't care less as long as that cute skirt was hers. Or that dress. Or both.

Because she has trouble making decisions – something I bore witness to during our visit to the lingerie store earlier – she usually solves the problem by buying both of the choices she is given in any one situation. That is the primary reason her wardrobe is close to bursting…

How does one girl buy so much?

We retired to our room to dump off our stuff and take a much-needed breather. I stretched and kneaded my throbbing arms. Eri was used to lengthy shopping adventures with her girlfriends so it didn't tire her out as much as it did me.

I collapsed onto my futon, thankful the day was over. "Well, that's that. You sure know how to go all out."

She joined me on the floor. "Well, I can't resist a good deal."

I took a sweeping glance at all the bags. "Do you seriously wear all of this, Eri? I mean, if you add this to your personal collection at home, and assuming you wear something different every day, it's like two years' worth of clothes!"

"What can I say, I love to dress up."

"Yeah, vanity's your middle name…"

Even the usually energetic Eri was feeling lethargic. "That was quite a workout. Since you're pooped too, why don't we hop into the baths to freshen up?"

So we'd finally come to the long-awaited bath event again, huh? I'd make a terrible monk with all the lewd thoughts my mind was pulling out of thin air.

That perfect toned body of hers… Girls longed to have her figure, guys lusted after her curves, and me? She flaunts herself in front of me all the time, that cheeky girl. I felt a shiver of delight imagining how many guys would be jealous of me if they knew how much fun I was having with her. Ho, the face of that Futoshi bloke would be green as grass, that's for sure!

"Neku?" Eri waved her hand in front of my face. "Are you still here?"

That's when I woke up from my train of thought. "Oh, right! The bath. Sure, I'll… I'll be there."

"You were chuckling to yourself. What's with that?"

"Huh? ! It's nothing. I'm – hey, ahaha… I don't have a fever, Eri." I gently pried her hand away from my forehead. "I'm alright."

She seemed content with that. "If you're sure you're okay – strange laughter notwithstanding – then let's get in the bath without further delay! Yesterday we didn't enjoy ourselves as much as I hoped we would. So today, let's be sure to have a good time!" That smile of hers could warm many a winter month.

Damn, she's too cute! Getting in the bath together with her would be sure to deepen our bond even further. I made a mess of my grand opportunity last night, storming out in jealousy, but now that this second chance had cropped up I knew I'd be a fool to let it go. Maybe I should try confessing? But… in the bath? That's weird. And while naked too? That's even weirder! Let's not forget that there would be people all over the place. Out of the question. I cast the idea aside like moldy bread.

No… That'd come later. I hated how I had to put it off so many times though. I wanted to get the matter over with!

"Neku," muttered Eri, "you've been spacing out a lot lately… What's the matter?"

"Nothing's wrong. I was just – Eri, I really don't have a fever. Seriously." I had to take her hand away from my forehead again.

"It's no good to enter the bath if you're not feeling well. If you don't feel like going – "

"I'll go!" I snapped hurriedly, raising my hand like I was still in class. "I don't want us to miss another good chance."

"You're being awfully enthusiastic," she noted approvingly. "You normally go 'What? !' and follow up with a nosebleed, and while that's always funny, it's definitely a nice change to see you all eager for some skinship."

"My nosebleeds are… funny?"

"They're like geysers and freaking projectiles." She attempted to illustrate by making an exploding sort of hand motion in front of her nose. "Record-breaking stuff."

"…Let's head inside already."

"Ooh, taking the lead too! So manly! Alright, I leave myself in your care, Mr Sakuraba. Shall we be off?"

It wasn't easy to describe the feeling inside me now, but I could provide an approximation: if you took a pot and mixed in a gallon of happiness together with a lot of nervousness and a dash of confidence, what you get in the end is what I was feeling. Could I succeed in my efforts, however, without bleeding and fainting and making a fool of myself?

XOXOXOXOXO

I hate it when thoughts conflict with each other. It makes things so confusing.

On the one hand, the hot-blooded side of me wanted to have fun. It'd be more than just a bit kinky, but what great memories we would have! Frolicking around with Eri… What bliss, eh? But on the other hand, I was a good guy at heart… How could I bring myself to be selfish and take advantage of her while she was unclothed and vulnerable?

The angel and devil on my shoulders were duking it out with each other. Both were strong opponents and the battle was fierce and heated with no way of telling who would win. Who was I anyway, Jekyll and Hyde? !

No, let's be rational: even if I wanted to get sexy with Eri, there would be too many people in the bath to even try without attracting attention and getting openly frowned upon. It was a convenient excuse to stay on the good end of my moral compass. Satisfied that I hadn't given in to the dark side, I went to meet up with her at the entrance of the mixed baths. She was already in her towel and looking very excited, not to mention gorgeous. Those bare shoulders begged caressing…

"Are you still nervous, Neku?" she asked with genuine concern.

"I think I'll be fine, thanks. You?"

She grinned. "Of course I'm good. You know, if we're really lucky, there'll be no one in there, and we can have the whole place to ourselves."

Upon hearing that, my inner devil, having lost the last duel, was raring to get back on its feet for a rematch. An empty bath and the two of us was a recipe for a very lusty boy. …No! I couldn't let that happen. Eri's my precious friend. I didn't want to tarnish my reputation by being a total sleazeball. But most of all, I didn't want her to hate me again…

"Ten yen tells me," I said, "that it's probably gonna be full house."

"Yeah, there's always someone using it. But the more the merrier, right?"

We parted the curtains and went inside. The first thing we saw was the steam. The second was the lack of people.

"Ooh!" squealed Eri. "There's absolutely no one here! The entire bath is all ours… Talk about lucky! I think they just finished cleaning it and that's why it's empty."

Uh-oh. Privacy was good, but would my reptilian side take control and make me do indecent things? But if I kept worrying too much, I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself. What should I do?

Eri is not stupid. She can be a bit of a psychic too: she can read moods and correctly guess what people are thinking based on their body language. She's in her element with socializing; not only is she good at befriending people, she is also easy to warm up to. She knows all about people, so it came as no wonder that she knew from my current behaviour that something was bothering me.

She ruffled my mane affectionately. "Oi, Neku, it's alright. You can stare alllll you like!"

"N-No, wait, I didn't say – "

"Listen, we came all the way from Shibuya so we could have ourselves a nice little vacation. We're here to go nuts, so that's exactly what we're going to do! The stupidest thing one would do is to be shy and hold back. …You're not _that_ shy, are you?"

She wasn't goading me into this or anything. It was just a simple fact that she was trying to point out. Mr H himself said something to that effect too: make sure you have fun. Restraining my urges was a must, but being too restrictive on myself was no good either. All I'd have to prove for my 'chivalry' was a wasted opportunity. Striking a healthy balance was key.

I mean, silly me, right? Poor Eri just wanted to spend time bonding with her favourite guy. Who was I to deny her? Who was I to deny _myself?_

"You're right, Eri. Thanks for that."

"Hee hee. Just be yourself, okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Now take it off."

Take what off? She was pointing at the towel covering my lower half. I gulped and instinctively took a step backwards.

"Wh-Why do I have to take it off?"

"Neku, don't you know it's bad manners to wear your towel in a public bath? It's common onsen etiquette."

"Ah, um… This…" Just because it was basic courtesy didn't mean I was fine with it!

"What's wrong?" she teased. "Afraid I'll see your periscope?"

"What the heck… Don't be so vulgar!"

"Hee hee… You should know that if there are no secrets in the bathroom, then the same applies to onsens. And we know each other's 'secrets' very well already, if you get my drift…"

My words sounded like they had gone through a blender. "Y-You're not wrong, but – "

"Less talking, more bathing! Now, off with it!"

Suddenly, Eri grabbed the hem of my towel with both hands and I couldn't even get to defend myself. In a flash, she yanked my towel clean off, like in one of those tricks where you whisk away the tablecloth from underneath a desk full of things. It was so quick it took me an eternity of five seconds to realize why I could feel the breeze in that place that saw no sun. She dangled her ill-gotten prize from her fingers in a show of victory and was chuckling buckets.

"Hoi!" I yelped. "What're you doing? !" It wasn't easy covering myself up and trying to snatch my towel back from her. I must have looked like a screeching monkey.

"Ah ah ah, no towels in the bath, remember?" That smirk was still on her face! "You can't have this!"

"I just don't want you staring at my – gah, just give it back!"

She fixed a blank stare at me, which caused me to stop freaking out momentarily.

"What now?" I snapped.

With a matter-of-factly tone, she said, "Um, Neku, I don't really need to stare… you know? Because I've practically memorized how it looks by now. So even if I don't see it…"

Silence fell over the world. Dead silence.

I couldn't believe what she said. With a very uneasy quiver in my voice, I waved the matter off. The less my mind lingered on it the better. "…I'll just pretend I didn't hear that. And if I can forget about this altogether some time in the future, hopefully, that'd be great too."

At any rate, we were inside the water. Without anyone around to barge in on our private time, we could afford to relax in a more open area of the bath instead of hiding behind rocks. It was less stuffy and our view of the surroundings was a lot wider. As the warmth crept through my body, I began to slip into a calm state despite the presence of my friend beside me.

"Ahhh!" she sighed. "I feel like I've been reborn."

"Can't agree with you more."

"I know, right? It feels so good on tired muscles."

"Yeah."

Her eyes were closed and she sat still in an apparent attempt to enter a trance-like state for maximum relaxation. In so doing she became the subject of my secretive glances. That slender neck, her smooth creamy skin, that cleavage peeking out from the water surface! I felt guilty being a voyeur, but how could I not want to look? And if she said I could stare _alllll_ I liked, then shouldn't I take her up on her offer?

I continued to drink her beauty in with my eyes, thinking she was unaware, and hoping she would stay that way for a few more precious seconds. Then without warning, her eyes snapped open just as I was straining for a closer look at her br– uh, collarbone. And I was caught red-handed.

Shoot!

"Ack? ! Uh, I… I'm sorry, Eri. I didn't mean to – "

"Neku, sneaking a good peek, are you?"

"No, I mean, it's… a little complicated…" Gah, I was grasping at straws!

"You silly thing. Didn't I say it's okay to look? I told you: you can stare _allll_ you like! 'Cause you're okay in my book, see? So don't be shy!"

"Oh, um, thanks… I guess."

Ooh… The mood was not bad. I sat there wondering what I could say and/or do to flirt with her safely. She likes to play around with me; what's stopping me from doing the same with her? But I wasn't exactly debonair, and I didn't have a lot of experience with girls, so I was stumped.

My thoughts turned to the young couple from this morning. Ah! Perhaps I could get some ideas from them. What did the boy do with his girl again? You know, before things took a turn for the shocking and he started groping her butt? Oh yeah, he had his arm around her shoulder. That's easy enough… Maybe I should give it a go. But I had never even tried that in the twenty years of my life. Was it possible to screw up something as simple as this?

Hmph. Of course not! I'll have her begging to be in my arms before the evening is over!

…Easier said than done.

"Eri?"

"Mmm?"

Those eyes of hers – so angelic, so innocent, so sparkly – weren't making it easy for me! But fight I must, and win I would!

"Um, Eri… I was th-thinking… Is… Is it okay if… I… if…"

She was clinging onto my words, but then she sprang to a conclusion. The wrong one. "Oh, I get it! You want me to scrub your back? Okay! I'll even wash your hair as a bonus."

"Huh? Uh, wait, I – " I wouldn't be getting through to her anytime soon. She was already getting out of the water and raring with excitement.

"Don't worry!" she said with a wink. "You can count on me to do a splendid job!"

And that was how, instead of snuggling at my side, she was behind me, hard at work. You do the hair first before the back, she said, so now she had her fingers on my head, washing like a hairdresser in a beauty salon. But I just wanted us to cuddle a bit… Oh well, this couldn't be bad either. The light sweeping motions on my hair had a Zen-like meditative effect. I was still not very calm but at least my mind was a lot clearer. Plus, hearing her hum and giggle and be her cheery self was a treat for the ears.

"My dear customer," she cooed in a sing-song voice, "do you find my service satisfactory enough? Or is there a spot I missed? Any itches that need scratching?"

"I-I'm fine, thank you." She was really getting into the act…

"Are you sure? Don't hesitate if you need anything. It's all free of charge."

I deadpanned, "All you require is a big fat tip, huh?"

"Ha ha ha! You're a sharp one, sir!"

"…You're an expert at this, aren't you?"

"I do my best. Your hair feels so nice to the touch! It's soft like a cat's fur and once you get it wet and soapy, you can sculpt it into all kinds of shapes."

A bark of laughter rang from my throat. "Are you really doing your job, miss?"

"Oh but of course, sir! But if I can make devil's horns sprout from your head while I'm at it, then why not?"

It didn't take long for Eri to finish washing my hair and now she went on to do the main course: scrubbing my back. When I tweezed one of my matted locks in my fingers, I was both surprised and delighted to find it was literally squeaky clean. Eri was better at this than I thought.

"Not shabby at all," I said. "You're very thorough."

"I always settle for nothing less," she proclaimed proudly. "Making my favourite customer happy is an art unto itself."

"Still playing 'let's pretend to be an onsen employee'? Not that I mind…"

"If I was wearing a _fundoshi*_ and had my chest wrapped up in gauze, I'd probably look the part too… maybe. Heh heh… Neku, this reminds of the first time I scrubbed your back for you. Remember? I was feeling down, and you took me out on a date to cheer me up."

"I… Yeah, I remember that." It was just hanging out with each other, but ever since Eri started the whole "pretend date" trend, the name just stuck. Every time we go out, that's what it'd be: a fake date between friends. But even fake dates could harbour real feelings…

"It was pouring towards the end, so to stop the two of us from catching a cold, I made us take a bath together, much like now." The memory brought a smile to her voice. "I have to admit, you were so cute when I forced you to get in the bathroom with me. You were screaming bloody murder."

A cross between a laugh and a sigh billowed out from my lips. "I can kind of see how girls bathe together but no girl would ask to do it with a guy…"

"Hey, we're special," retorted Eri coolly. "Deal with it."

"'Special' doesn't mean 'abnormal', Eri."

"Ha ha ha! Your sense of humour is picking up!" Then she continued, "We got to talking… and you know how I told you I couldn't cook, and that it bothered me?"

"I didn't think a happy-go-lucky person like you would get depressed over it. You're actually a deep thinker."

"You tried your best to make me feel better, and when you offered to teach me how to cook, I was so happy… After all the idiots I had as boyfriends, it's refreshing to know someone who's nice."

My heart skipped a beat. "W-Well, you're pretty nice yourself, Eri. To tell you the truth, I thought you were really weird at first. But as time went by and I gradually peeled away the layers, I began to see your true self. I'm so lucky you're my friend."

"Pfft…!"

"Wh-What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry," she choked with laughter. "It's just that when you said you 'peeled away the layers', you kinda sounded like you were stripping my clothes off. Ahhh, so daring…"

"I… I didn't mean it that way. Seriously, your sense of humour crops up at the weirdest of times…"

"Ha ha ha! You should know how I work by now!" Then she added with a more genuine tone, "But I _am_ happy that you like me. So… let's keep on at our friendship, eh? I can see bright things in our future."

"Yeah." Eri…

"Okay, enough of the serious stuff!" Like a drumroll, she announced, "It's done! You are now officially free of dirt, sweat and dead skin. A bang-up job if I do say so myself."

"Thanks, Eri. That was… nice."

"Don't mention it. I said it before, but exfoliation is important for everyone. You've got to get rid of that dead skin for a smoother, shinier back. Now, let's switch places."

"Switch… places? What do you mean?"

"I'm saying it's your turn to be the onsen employee."

"Onsen employee…?" My voice came out in stammers when I grasped what she was trying to say, and my insides spun like a centrifuge. "Are you telling me to scrub your back? !"

And with that oh-so-cheery voice, she said, "Yup!"

Oh my god. This was bound to happen, sooner rather than later. Don't get me wrong; I love pretty girls as much as the next guy, and Eri's gorgeous. But I had yet to stand up to the challenge of keeping my blood intact by the end of our bath.

After some hesitation I blundered headlong into the task of scrubbing Eri clean. As she sat there on the stool waiting for me to begin, I just gawked at her naked back like an idiot. What flawless skin! And those curves were amazing. How is a person born to be so beautiful? God, I was so happy!

"Um, Neku?" Eri laughed. "When you wash someone's back, you use soap, not blood."

Oh crud! Guess my nose couldn't take it after all! It was gushing haemoglobin all over her lovely posterior.

"M-My bad!" I filled the wooden pan in my hands with water from a nearby tap and emptied its contents over her. "Terribly sorry… I didn't mean anything bad…"

But she didn't mind one bit and was even starting to develop a hearty laugh. "No need to apologise so much; it's okay! It makes life more interesting this way. It's never boring with you around. And you're a nice guy to boot so it's all cool."

She's more comfortable with it than I was! I was slightly ashamed of my nervousness. But her laid-back attitude did wonders to put me at ease, and even when her bare skin was in full view I was actually starting to calm down. As I lathered her up our conversation carried on at a good clip. We talked about everything under the sun, never sticking to a single topic for too long. Wow, she's so much fun to talk to! Even someone like me who still struggles with social graces finds it easy to converse with her. Maybe that's part of what makes her so popular.

"…It's too bad you broke your arm in high school, Neku," she said, "otherwise you could have stayed on in the baseball club."

"My arm was never quite the same after that. I couldn't pitch right anymore, so I had to call it quits."

"Yeah, too bad. I always loved to see you pitch. You had such great form out on the field!" Eri always tends to emphasize her words with gestures, and now she was trying to imitate a baseball player in action. Except…

"Eri, that's basketball. You're doing a dunk, to be precise."

She giggled. "Just making sure you're awake."

"I woke up a gazillion years ago! And that joke's stale already."

"Hee hee… Glad to see our long-running comedy routine hasn't changed much over the years."

"Tell me about it," I sighed. "It's like freaking _manzai_**, man. You'd say silly things on purpose and I'd be the one to correct you and place you back on track."

"But it's good, isn't it? It's like a testament to our friendship. We might appear like a couple of idiots with the way we trade retorts, but it's these little things that remind me how fortunate we both are to be alive and… well, together." Then, afraid I might get the wrong idea, she added, "Together as friends, you know? As friends."

What kind of relationship did we have exactly? Acquaintances, schoolmates, faithful members of the same table at lunch? Friends, neighbours, date partners?

So-called 'buddies' who are really just dying to be officially in love with each other?

What were we?

I knew what we _could_ be. I just didn't know what we were _now_.

The answer lay with her. Within her heart.

But I had to find a way to get her to open up. She called us the most awesome team and such, but never actually said anything about her true feelings. There were times when she came close but then she always cleverly skirted the issue. No more. Tonight, I would find out for sure and maybe, if our feelings for each other were that of love rather than the mere togetherness that friends enjoy, I could tell her… how I truly felt about her.

"Neku, can I ask you something?"

"Huh? Yeah, shoot."

"It's really embarrassing for me to ask, but heck, I don't see why I should hold back either. So in return, I need you to be honest, okay?"

What did she want to know? Heh… If she was as curious as I was to know how far we could take our friendship, that'd be the thing… But it would be just wishful thinking.

"I'll be very honest, Eri."

"Really? Ah, good, good," she sighed, "it makes me so happy to hear that. Well then, I shan't keep you waiting any longer."

Why did her voice sound so dreamy? It always became like that whenever she gushed about her current boyfriend. But she's single now… Wait a minute! That's the voice of a girl in love. How could I not have seen this? And if she was like this, then…

…maybe she really was in love with me? !

Ha ha ha… No way, right? That'd be too easy. The universe didn't work that way.

But… But she promised to kiss me, and there was a whole bunch of other telltale signs that indicated she might hold feelings deeper than what she usually showed on the surface. So what could this mean… Damn, why are girls so difficult to understand?

"So," she said, "this will be a bit abrupt, but tell me… please tell me…"

I kept my breath held as I waited for the single most important question in the history of my life…

"…do you believe in UFOs?"

…What.

I was so stunned by the question that I thought I had heard her wrongly. She had to repeat it for me.

"So… UFOs. Are you a believer, Neku? My girlfriends and I were talking about it the other day and all this stuff about abductions and crop circles just came up. One of us even suggested that out of every few thousand people in the world, one of us is actually an alien in disguise, observing mankind. You can imagine how crazy our talk became, so… Neku? Any thoughts?"

And here I was under the impression that she was going to ask if I loved her. It sure ain't easy to be a guy at the end of an unrequited love.

Disappointed, I mumbled, "I'd be hard-pressed to think that the truth is out there, to be honest."

"Really? I think aliens can be cuddly."

"Even when they're sucking out your brains and making clones of you to help raise their kids?"

She laughed. "And you're the one who calls me vulgar. Listen to yourself!"

If you want something done you've got to do it yourself. You can't count on others to do the work for you. I knew this very well, of course. But I was banking on that slim chance that I might just get a freebie. No luck.

Never mind, I'd get it over with later. For sure.

Afterwards when I was done with my cleaning stint, Eri was testing the texture of her skin to see if I had done a satisfactory job. She used one hand to reach behind and up her back as far as she could manage and stroked it this way and that. I stepped back to admire my handiwork. Yowzers… It's almost a wonder I didn't faint already. When you've got an acre's worth of luscious skin sitting right in front of you, it's not like your eyes can say no to the sight, can they?

"Ooh, nice work!" she said cheerily. "For a first-timer you're pretty slick."

"Your back's pretty slick too!" I wisecracked… in my head. She probably wouldn't get offended by that, but better safe than sorry.

"Thanks, Neku! This is important for us girls, you know?"

"Then I'm glad I'm not a girl. It'll be tiring having to worry about my complexion all the time."

"News flash, pal: skin care is essential for men too! Maybe I'll teach you the finer points of it sometime. But for now…" – she took my hand and led me back into the pool – "…we'll take advantage of what little time we have left before the people start coming in again. This is just about the last leg of our vacation so I want us to spend it the best way we can."

I was thankful for being able to spend time with Eri. I'd be sure to show my appreciation later by donating to a bunch of charitable organizations.

She suggested, "Let's sit against those rocks, shall we?"

The night breeze had chilled our bodies so slipping back into the warm water felt great. I didn't want to get out. We sat side by side, resting against the rock formation in the middle of the pool. Even though I originally just wanted to rest my arm around her, we ended up doing something that had an even more potent effect. Should I up my ante and go for a bolder course of action?

"Oh, here's a fun fact I just remembered!" she said. "I heard that this spot we're sitting at brings good luck. Anyone who comes here strikes gold at some point in life."

"Huh? Seriously?" I snorted. "You sure this isn't something the staff thought up to draw in more customers?"

"Maybe. The innkeeper told me about it, but I can't verify the truth. The story about the young couple who successfully conceived here was really interesting though."

I recoiled in shock. "And that's where we're sitting? !"

"Yup!"

Oooh… My head was starting to feel weird after hearing that. Did someone actually do _that_ in this kind of place? How did that even play out…

Eri gave her own theory. "Maybe they climbed up onto the rocks behind us and – "

"Oi! N-No need to be so graphic, Eri!" _You'll make me think stupid things!_

She rubbed her chin, apparently in deep thought. Don't tell me she was actually thinking of even more twisted theories? ! Then her face lit up. Perhaps she really did come across a novel way for couples to have kids in the public bath, in which case, it wouldn't apply to us! …Yet.

"You know, from what the innkeeper told me, this bath is a bit special."

"Special? What, like it has magical powers or something?"

"It tends to bring good luck to whoever uses it. So people flock here, hoping to catch some positive vibes. Everyone who's taken a dip has claimed to be blessed with great fortune, like getting rich or scoring big in exams."

"I dunno about that… Sounds fishy…"

"Don't knock it till you try it! If you were fine with petting the Statue of Hachiko then you'll be fine with this."

"Okay, I understand your logic, O Wise One. But what should we do here?"

She playfully rubbed her shoulder against mine. "The guy takes the lead during a date, right? Why don't you do just that and I'll tag along with whatever plan you come up with."

Something stirred within me. We were sitting smack dab in the middle of the so-called lucky bath, so shouldn't I take advantage of it and try confessing? People have gotten rich, passed with flying colours, and even had kids thanks to this place. What's stopping me from giving it a go? It'd be nice to go down in the history of this inn as another success story.

"Anything, you say?" I asked, heart pounding jackhammer-style. "You're okay with anything?"

"Sure, just don't keep a lady waiting!"

She looked super happy and super excited. I knew this was my big chance! So I took destiny in my own two hands and made it happen…

I shifted my position so that I was sitting directly opposite her. Before she could ask what I was up to, I laid my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back, pressing her gently against the rock behind her. There was a twitch in her frame and a gasp in her throat, and those deer-in-headlights eyes told me she was a tad scared, but I didn't care. I had gone through life without so much as a shred of true romance and I was desperate to be loved back by a nice girl like Eri.

It took forever to get the words out but I eventually did it.

"I'm sorry for springing this upon so suddenly but I can't wait."

"N-Neku…?"

"Eri, I… See, I…"

Ugh… What's wrong with me? It's normal to be nervous when you're about to tell someone you love them, but it didn't feel right for my head to be spinning like this. The world was starting to look strange and wobbly… Was Eri supposed to sway like that?

The blood either rushed to my head or away from it; which direction it was I couldn't tell, but I gradually lost consciousness and fell forward, lodging my head into her chest.

"Kyaa! Neku? !"

As my vision faded to black, one thing came to mind.

_Air bags…_

XOXOXOXOXO

"Is he gonna be okay?"

"Relax, dearie. He's just had a mild case of heatstroke. Your friend will be back on his feet in no time. See? He's already awake."

"Oh! Neku!"

As I came to, I realized that I was back in our room, lying on the futon with a bag of ice on my head. Eri and the kindly innkeeper were sitting by my side, watching over me. The moment I sat up, my pink-haired pal pounced on me, anxious to know if I was alright.

"Neku! Good god, you're alive!" In her relief and excitement she forgot I was still recuperating and shook me by the shoulders like a rag doll. "You had me so worried!" Gah! Just when I was getting better!

"M-Miss," said the alarmed innkeeper, "please stop doing that! He hasn't recovered completely yet!"

"Ah! S-Sorry!" And she let go. I did my best to steady my dizzy head.

"I think I missed out on a few things," I muttered. "Mind filling me in?"

Our benevolent elderly friend gave me a brief summary. "You passed out in the bath earlier. Your friend called me for help and we brought you back here. Make sure you thank her properly, will you?"

"I… I fainted?"

All that heat did a number on my head, huh… I slouched in disappointment. My confession got botched again! And in such an embarrassing way too… I was supposed to be the one Eri could rely on and here she had to rescue me.

After the innkeeper was sure that I would be okay, she left us be. There was a tray of chilled drinks on the table and I graciously took one. The coldness felt good going down my throat. Meanwhile, Eri refused to leave my side. She suggested that we hang out on the balcony for some fresh air so that was what we did. The breeze helped to cool my body and it didn't take long after that for my health to bounce back. After I was cured of my doziness I thought I should say a few words.

"Eri, thanks. You know, for watching out for me."

"Heh heh… Don't worry about it."

"I'm not sure if I correctly recall the last few seconds before I blacked out, but if I'm right, then I'm sorry for doing a nosedive on your, um, chest."

"Hey, it's fine," she said kindly. "In fact, I'm glad you did."

"Wh-Why's that?"

"Because if you didn't, you might have hit your head against the rocks behind me, and that would have been a pretty gory thing."

"Oh… uh, right. Th-That's true…" She's making it sound like it was perfectly okay to plant my face into her breasts for the sake of my safety. Honestly, I didn't know what I should feel. But you know what they say: all's well that ends well. I think.

"By the way, Neku…"

"Hmm?"

"What was it you were trying to do back then? I know we're out of the bath but if you want, we can continue where we left off…"

Oh, right! I was trying to confess to her. I couldn't do it earlier but now, as we stood face-to-face in the privacy of our own balcony, I knew I had been given another chance. How many times have I failed and ended up empty-handed? This time, I swore, would be my final try. The gods up above must be getting sick of me by now anyway.

Come on, Neku. Have courage, man! You were this close to doing it before and now you can finally do it. I stood firm and proper before her and my face hardened with determination.

"…Neku?"

"Eri, uh… Can I tell you a little something? And please promise me you wouldn't freak out."

She raised her eyebrows ever so slightly. "Okay…"

"You know, I… uh…"

One final push! I'm so close! …Damn, I sound like I'm giving birth.

I didn't want to leave her hanging after what I just said. It wouldn't be fair to her. It wouldn't even be fair to myself. Twenty years without a taste of real love is no joke. When everyone else is going out for a good time, I'm the one who stays single, at home watching TV and eating alone. I've been used to doing things by myself but I just thought it would be nice if I had someone to at least curl up with on the sofa. It's thanks to Eri that I was able to alleviate some of that loneliness, but the truth still held fast: we weren't an official couple. I had to change that.

Would Eri say yes to me? I didn't know. But was this any reason to be scared and back down? No, of course not. I was always too afraid to take risks. I always thought I'd be scarred for life if things didn't go my way. But staying in the safe zone is not how we grow and improve. Failure can and does sting, but at least you can walk away happy with the knowledge that at the very least, you _tried_.

I said it.

"Eri… I love you." Then, afraid she might misunderstand, I added, "Uh, in a romantic way. I love you in a romantic way." That was awfully slapdash, though…

Those slightly widened eyes, the reddish glow on her cheeks, her hand creeping up to her bosom… Yes! I finally said it! Just one more thing to say to her…

"Will you go out with me?"

And done! Now, what would she say? Oh, maybe I should add a few more words to cement my reputation as a potentially respectable boyfriend.

"I'm thankful that you're always there for me, ever since high school, but now I think it'd be nice if you could count on me more. I may not seem like much, but I can be pretty dependable. Eri… will you accept me?"

She gave me a warm smile.

"Neku," she said softly, "thank you. It makes me happy to hear you say that. Seriously, I'm flattered. I haven't felt this way in a good while! Hee hee."

"Eri! D-Does this mean…?"

"However, I'm sorry." She bowed in a show of genuine apology, and then continued, "I think you're cool, but I'm not sure I'm ready to go out with you."

I honestly thought I had a chance! I didn't expect this. All those great times I spent with Eri… Maybe they lulled me into a sense of complacency. Maybe I took her for granted and thought that at the very least she wouldn't say no. Whatever the case, my spirit was rather deflated. I was so close! I just knew that if I was a little more persuasive we could finally be a couple for real.

"Still," she said kindly, "you're a decent person. Why don't you give me some time to sort out my feelings… and then I'll get back to you? How about it?"

"Eh… Um…"

"I'll be able to give you a definite answer by then. Again, I'm sorry." One more bow.

I was sad, but had the dignity to accept this as my fate. I bravely put on a smile. "Sure, no problem. Don't worry about me."

"Thanks."

That was the end of my confession. It was a grey cloudy feeling… And I knew it all too well. My heart was broken once by Shiki. Now was the second time and it was by the only other girl I had come to love.

That night, instead of snuggling in the same futon, we slept separately. It's only natural: given the circumstances, even she knew it would be awkward to be her usual touchy-feely self. There needs to be some distance, at least for a while. But it hardened my suspicions that perhaps I was really just a good buddy to Eri and nothing more.

Then… what about yesterday, when she promised she'd kiss me to make up? You don't do that with friends, do you? You don't kiss them, even for fun. Or could it be that Eri was the type of girl who gets her kicks from kissing people? That made me rather depressed because that meant I wasn't someone special to her.

But I _am_ special! She said it herself. So… what did this mean? There were more contradictions here than a high-profile court case!

My brain hurt from all the thinking and analyzing. I was not experienced with romance, so how could I even know what conclusion to come to? This sounded like a job for Kariya and company back at WildKat. They could help me sort this mess out. Probably.

Until then, all I could do was sleep away the disappointment.

XOXOXOXOXO

The next day, it was business as usual for Eri. Her sunny disposition remained, and she was even back to her teasing and stripping ways. It was like she had forgotten all about my confession. Did it mean that little to her? I hoped not…

Our onsen date ended today, and we were back in Shibuya before long. In fact, right now as I speak, we were standing at her doorstep. There was a trainload of shopping bags all huddled around our feet as I waited for her to unlock the front door. Anyway, we left the bags in her room and after a short chat it was time for me to leave.

"That was a fun date," she said smilingly. "And the longest one I ever had too. I'm sure it'll break some records! Thanks for everything, Neku."

"Oh, no, thank _you_. You're the one who came up with the idea of going to an onsen in the first place. It was really cool."

"We'll do it again sometime, wouldn't we?"

"Sure, why not?"

I didn't know what to say next and her sweet gaze was giving me kittens, so I was scrambling for an excuse to hurry home. However, before I could act, she circled her arms around my neck and moved in close till I could almost see the pores on the skin of her face.

It got me stammering. "E-Eri? ! Hey, wh-what's gotten into you?"

"Neku," she whispered, "I may not be able to give you an answer yet, but what I _can_ do is keep my promise."

"P-Promise?"

When she replied, she spelled out the letters of a single word, drawling out each one in a ridiculously sexy way. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

She was coming closer! "Wait a minute… I don't know if my heart is ready for this…"

"Heh heh… Don't worry, don't worry! It'll just be a quick peck. Nothing too sloppy and long drawn like the stuff you see in movies."

"Wh-What makes you think I should trust you on th– "

She reached up and planted one on my forehead. If I didn't see what she was doing, I'd have thought she had poked me with her finger as a joke. But it wasn't a joke, and she used her _lips_. Her lips! Those perfectly-shaped things. I was stunned. My body went rigid. Paralysed. Helpless. What was I supposed to be doing again? Oh yeah, I was saying goodbye. And now, she had given me a kiss on the forehead. Wow! What a detour! That felt strange and amazing all at once.

She giggled, "I want to keep my promise from last night, but doing it on the lips is still a bit embarrassing after all. Maybe next time?"

Adopting a more serious tone, she continued, "Listen, I still need to think about your confession, Neku. I'm happy, of course. If those were your feelings about me, then I'm glad you were being honest. But I need time to give you an answer. I know it sucks to wait, but please be patient, yeah?"

Going steady was serious business. After wasting her youth with trashy boyfriends, she didn't want to make any more wrong decisions. If she was so sick of hanging out with them, then she wanted to be doubly sure that if she went out with me, I wouldn't be just another chump with a flair for the ungentlemanly. For her, waiting it out to think it over was the right thing to do. If I were in her shoes, I'd probably do the same thing.

"I'll wait," I said. "Take your time, Eri."

"Are you sure?" she chuckled. "I can take forever, you know."

"Eh… Um… I mean…"

"Just kidding. I'll give you an answer… soon. I'm not sure when exactly, but it'll be soon."

We parted ways for the day and I went home, pondering hard at this turn of events.

XOXOXOXOXO

The kiss took up my mind for the rest of the day.

I had never been kissed before. It wasn't mouth-to-mouth, so it didn't count as my first. But this feeling… this feeling of happiness and excitement and accomplishment… Every time I shut my eyes and focused on that moment, my mind's eye would go psychedelic and the twisting rainbows wouldn't quit.

But it had the unfortunate side-effect of leaving me in a more confused state than ever.

I still didn't know where her feelings lay. She knew about mine already, but hers were still classified information she wasn't willing to divulge just yet. I'd have to wait. She'd tell me soon. But how soon was "soon"? A week? Two weeks? A few months? It's almost unfair how she could put me on hold indefinitely if she so wished. But I knew she wouldn't be so mean…

Seriously, love is a minefield… And I just stepped into one.

…  
>…<p>

*_fundoshi_: a type of traditional Japanese underwear, commonly worn by men during certain sacred ceremonies. It consists of a length of cloth wrapped around the groin.

**_manzai_: a form of stand-up comedy native to Japan. There will typically be two comedians trading jokes quickly: a straight man (_tsukkomi_) and a funny man (_boke_). In this case, Neku could be considered the _tsukkomi_ and Eri the _boke_.

**...**

**Author's note:  
>Sorry for the late update. Truth is, I was writing more than one story simultaneously, with the intention of releasing them all at the same time. Here's what I'd been working on:<strong>

**(a) this chapter of _She Comes And Goes As She Pleases_ (of course). I've updated the cover image as well.**

**(b) _Behind Closed Doors_, which is a romantic comedy about Neku and Shiki. It also features a brand new cover image that I drew myself. If you want to know what Shiki looks like in a bikini, now's your chance. It probably wouldn't give you a nosebleed but if it can, I'll be happy :D**

**(c) _Blossom_, which is an erotic romance about Neku and Shiki. It's in the M-rated section for a reason.**

**So yeah, it's a bumper update and if you have time, do check 'em all out. And for everyone who's read _She Comes And Goes As She Pleases_ and liked it, I'm thankful to you. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially GengaJupite, whose reviews are nice, informative and constructive. Thank you kindly, bro! I have so much fun reading them.**

**See you fellas soon and have a very merry Xmas. :D**

**-BrDPirateMan**


	25. The Kiss

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 25)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Eri, I love you. Will you go out with me?"

"Oh, Neku," she gushed, clasping my hands in hers, "of course I will!"

"Really? !" I was so overjoyed that I was tempted to do a dance right on the spot. Finally after twenty long years being single I was out of the vicious cycle. Goodbye lonely nights, hello lovey-dovey days! Just think how many more things we could do together now in addition to the skinship we already share… I lost count pretty quickly.

It was apparent that she had something else to say so I heard her out.

"You're awfully nice, Neku, and you care about my welfare a lot. I think you're one of the cooler guys out there so I definitely wouldn't mind going out with you. No, rather, I'd be nuts to pass up this opportunity to snag myself a great boyfriend!"

"Eri, that's…" I wasn't the best with words, so I couldn't put my feelings across thoroughly enough. The following words would have to suffice, "That's awesome to hear."

She threw her arms around my neck, the distance between us closing down to a mere inch. Ooh… We'd just reciprocated our feelings for each other, and now we were already going to kiss? Good things were happening to me one after another at a rapid-fire pace!

"Hey sexy," she breathed, "there's something I'd like you to know."

"Oh?" I played along, thinking that she was setting us up for some harmless mischief. "Do I get three chances at guessing?"

I didn't. She just said, "Truth is… I'm a grasshopper."

"Huh?"

And then, like a scene from a horror movie, her beautiful face warped and changed in twisted ways. The skin turned a sickly yellow, her eyes turned black and grew to at least five times larger, and her mandible split into two segmented pieces. She'd turned into a freaking insect, right in front of me!

While I was petrified from the disgust and disbelief, she croaked out words in a disturbing high-pitched voice that could cut glass:

"Oh, Neku, I love you so much. Now allow me to show you my feelings by gobbling you up. Bon appétit!"

I screamed.

"AAAAAAHHH! ! !"

Just before her jaws could crush my head into tomato paste, I woke up in the nick of time to find myself in the safety of my bedroom. My shirt was soaked with sweat!

"Oh my god," I panted, "what a nightmare… Maybe biting into that grasshopper yesterday wasn't a bright idea…"

As the trauma mellowed out, I began to focus on the more important part of that dream. No, not the part about her terrifying transmogrification, but rather the fact that it was just a dream and that Eri had yet to answer to my confession.

So close yet so far… Where should I go from here? She knew how I felt about her, but she turned me down… I still wanted to pursue her, that much I knew. There's no way I could just give up right now, not after I had been crazy about her for so long. But I just didn't know what to do. Like her, I didn't want to make any fatal mistakes.

I'm an independent guy, but no one's an island. It's time to seek out help. And I knew just where to go.

XOXOXOXOXO

The three lovable stooges at WildKat stared at me with such wide eyes I thought they'd pop out of their skulls. I almost began to wonder if they had actually heard me or whether they were still waiting for me to speak.

"Holy snap!" said Kariya at last. "You really confessed to Eri? Like, seriously actually really?"

"Uh, yeah," I mumbled. "I did, really."

"Great going!" He broke into a genuinely happy laugh and slapped me on the back. "You finally got the ball rolling, huh? Good stuff! You've got to be sure to share all the details with us!"

Mr H held up two packets of coffee for me to see. "This calls for a small celebration. Just for this once, this cuppa's on the house. Take your pick, Phones: Sumatra Mandheling or Peru Decaf?"

"Thanks for the generosity, but I'll just have OJ, please."

"Really? Ha ha ha!" That I didn't share his enthusiasm for coffee didn't faze him in the slightest. "One day, son, I'll make you a convert. Then you'll enjoy the full-bodied taste that is java."

Despite her obvious surprise at the latest news, Uzuki still maintained her sarcastic edge. "Anyway, it looks like you finally grew some guts for once, Neku. And here I thought you'd come home with your tail between your legs."

"Whoa, Uzuki," chuckled Kariya, "lay off the harshness a bit, will you, girl? Phones here finally got the whole thing going. At least give him a break. It's a resounding success!"

Knowing that I had only told them half the story, I gulped, "Um, about that…"

A few minutes later, my tale was done, and the earlier joviality was replaced with an overhanging sense of uneasiness. No one knew quite what to say to me, though I could tell they were trying their best to put me at ease. Ever been involved in one of those conversations where someone admits they'd piled on a few pounds? You don't know whether to agree with them or say that it's no big deal. So it's kind of like that.

Kariya, clearing his throat one too many times, began, "Oh, er… So from what we know, you confessed to Eri, but she didn't accept you. But it's not a flat-out rejection, so you don't know where you are."

"On top of that," added Uzuki, "she even kissed you. Seriously, she's such a strange girl!"

"Tell me about it," I said. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to think. That's the main reason I'm here talking about it with you guys."

Mr H gave me my orange juice and I continued after taking a sip. "What should I do now? If she said she needs to think about it carefully, maybe I should give her some space. I don't want to freak her out by being too clingy. But I'm worried that if I stay out of her way for too long, she might drift away."

There was a pause of two or three seconds as they gathered their thoughts. Mr H chuckled as he took off his glasses and cleaned them on the hem of his vest. It was just like him to be amused at the trials and tribulations that come with being young. I guess when a person grows old, he starts to reminisce about everything and say stuff like how the days of his youth smell like fresh lemon or something. …Oh, don't tell him I said that.

"Who says you need to stay out of her way?" he said. "Just go on with your life as you normally would."

"Just like that?" I cast a doubtful gaze at him. "But wouldn't it feel weird when we see together and stuff?"

"Eri will definitely look at you in a different light. But it doesn't mean she'll think you're strange, or give you a wide berth. You're still her best friend, after all. Just carry on with business as usual; she'll be alright with you."

"Oh, that's true," said Uzuki. "She'll appreciate that you spoke up. And since she already likes you, she'll have a whole new level of respect for you."

I was surprised to hear that. "I actually thought she'd shrugged the whole matter off… because she said she'd think about it, but there's no telling how long it would take, so my gut was telling me it might never happen."

"Eri may be an airhead but she's not going to break any promises. Put a little more faith into her, will you? It's the least you can do for her. You're making it sound like she can't be trusted and I hardly think that's true."

"N-No, of course I didn't mean it that way…"

Kariya placed his hand on my shoulder reassuringly. "Phones, she'll give you her answer for sure. You just need to wait a little bit. But just because she's playing hard-to-get doesn't mean you can lay off the pressure. In fact, it's the best time to pursue her all the more so!"

"Hard-to-get, huh…"

Was Eri really trying to see if I'd soldier on or give up on the spot? Was she testing me to see how far I'd go to solidify her as my girlfriend? It _would_ make sense. I read somewhere that girls are encouraged to purposely make it tough for potential suitors to weed out the good from the bad. I just didn't think I'd be subject to this kind of challenge. Love was more complicated than I already thought it was.

But I wouldn't give up. The words of Kariya and company invigorated my spirits. I had to chase after Eri with all I've got!

As though he could read my thoughts, he added, "Just don't be too persistent, Phones… The last thing any girl wants is for a guy to act like a total stalker. Don't keep confessing. Moderation is key. I'll leave that to you to figure out."

Mr H waxed lyrical about the good old days. "Ah… There was a time when I too was in love. This takes me back… There I was, an awkward youth trying out so-called foolproof strategies I got from a magazine, hoping the girls I liked would notice me more…"

Not one for tact, Kariya finished up for him, "Didn't work, huh?"

Our poor proprietor friend muttered cryptically, "E-Every failure makes us stronger…"

"But if you're still single," butted in Uzuki, "how many failures does that make?"

"I don't need you ganging up on me too, sister," grumbled Mr H. "That was then and this is now… And right now, romance can wait. There's nothing more I'm in love with than a good cup of beans." This he said proudly, like it was a coat of arms worth showing off to everyone. We just sighed wryly.

"Anyway," said Kariya, "I think you'll do fine, Phones. You've won half the battle… All you need to do is win the other half."

"She already knows your feelings," added Uzuki. "She wouldn't just ignore them, so keep at it."

I muttered, "If you say so, everyone. Thanks for everything."

They're all pretty smart at this… not because they're older, either. It's almost like they'd been through a lot. Almost like they've… wait, could it be? Those two especially… Might they…?

My curiosity demanded to be satisfied. "Uzuki, Kariya, please don't mind my asking, but…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you two… dating?"

Uzuki looked like she was going to burst out loud in outrage, but managed to stop herself in time to adopt a less hectic approach to answering my question. She appeared to shrug it off with a laugh, but the obvious couldn't be denied: she was quite rattled. To her, the very idea that she and her slacker friend could even be romantic was ridiculous.

After a very artificial-sounding "Ohohoho!" she began denouncing my suggestion strongly. "Neku, of all the things to say… Really! Me and Kariya… dating? Ha! That's rich! Even if there are no more men left on the face of the earth except him, I certainly wouldn't be in a relationship with this slob of a guy!"

_Ouch…_ Mr H and I winced at her scathing sarcasm. She could be capable of some of the most biting remarks, but this one was even more painful than usual. I felt bad for Kariya.

How did he react to all this, by the way?

He just laughed. He was so hearty about it too, and didn't appear one bit fazed, prompting her to splutter incredulously, "Wh-What's so funny? !"

"Denial can be so cute," he replied, still buried in sniggers, "all the more so when it's you who's doing the denying. It's funny how you spout all this crud and yet you've probably got it bad for me."

Instead of overreacting like usual, she behaved relatively calmly. No panic, no blowing her top, no trapping him in a headlock… I never thought I'd see the day when Uzuki would react to one of Kariya's wisecracks in such a dignified manner. Maybe there's hope for this world after all.

Or so I thought for five seconds.

The smile she forced did nothing to hide the bulging veins on her temple as she spoke to him. She even placed a hand on his shoulder, like they were good pals.

"Y-Yo, Uzuki…? My shoulder… kinda hurts… I think you're – ow! OW! ! !"

…Same old Uzuki.

"I've got it bad for you?" she drawled. "Interesting theory… Do tell me more afterwards when I'm done castrating you."

I knew things would get ugly sooner or later so I took this as my cue to exit stage right.

"A-Anyway," I said hastily, "thanks for the advice, guys! I'll be off." They acknowledged me and bid me goodbye before turning to the more important matter at hand.

As I scurried off I heard Mr H imploring with Uzuki, "Sis, look, my café's got a reputation to keep. If you want to kill him that badly, do it elsewhere."

"Hoi!" spluttered Kariya. "Don't encourage her! She's killing my shoulder – ARGHRAH!"

I didn't catch what she said in response to that. Something told me I'd be better off not knowing.

XOXOXOXOXO

Life carried on like usual for Eri and myself. Going shopping, having cooking lessons on Saturdays, dealing with one too many of her impromptu sleepovers at my house… it all happened like clockwork. The rhythm didn't change, and it's good that it stayed that way.

But nothing else changed either. There was no indication that we were growing any closer. Usually, when a girl is confessed to, she would act differently around the boy. Maybe she'd be a bit more careful about what she says or the things she does. Or if she's secretly inclined to beginning a relationship with him, she might drop hints to suggest that she was interested but not ready yet. However, in this case, maybe it was because she was already close with me to begin with, but nothing special was happening. She still clung to me. She still teased me. And she still had that tendency to strip oh-so-spontaneously (on purpose or otherwise). I was happy but clueless.

This went on for some time, until eventually a whole month had passed without any major developments between us. Autumn passed quickly and now the winter season had descended upon Shibuya. The days were getting shorter and colder and once in a while it would even snow. Even the normally scantily-clad Eri was forced to pile on more clothing.

"Ahhh! Nothing like a hot bath to stave off the cold!"

Winter or no, though, she still wears alarmingly little when she's at home.

I tossed her a dress shirt and she caught it. "Wear something already, Eri. You'll catch a cold at this rate."

"But there's central heating in your house… It's quite cozy, really."

"Even then, you should cover yourself up. It's no good to be sick during the winter."

Eri slipped it on, not bothering to button it up as usual, before clambering onto the bed to join me, her willowy legs refusing to let go of my attention. When I finally managed to tear my eyes away, I suddenly noticed that she had been staring at me the whole time she was tousling her hair dry. Underneath the towel her gaze was locked onto me, making me feel self-conscious. Was there something stuck on my forehead? Or maybe I was ogling for too long?

"Eri? Is there anything I can help you with? Uh… cocoa?"

"Don't worry, I'm good." She now hung the towel loosely around her neck. "Thanks though."

She was still staring… Maybe it was nothing, I told myself. I put my book aside, readying myself for bed, but before I could dig in and say good night, she stopped me with a hand to my arm.

"…Neku."

"Y-Yes? Something the matter?"

She nudged closer, her eyes never losing their target. "You know, you're not bad-looking."

_Whoosh_ went the rush of heat to my face. If I looked carefully, I could swear I almost saw steam seeping out from underneath my collar. It's already warm enough as it was with the central heating on…

I suppose I should thank her anyway; she did take the trouble to say it. "Geez, Eri… If you say it like that, then th-thank – "

"Oh, that's right, Neku! Wanna have a pillow fight before we hit the sack?"

Again with her abrupt topic-changing ability? ! "Huh? ! Wh-What's with this sudden change of pace? !"

"What?" And why did she look like she had just forgotten what she just said? ! "Um… have you never had a pillow fight before?"

"I… uh…"

Much of my life I led a solitary existence. I wasn't good at making friends, and whoever tried to make an acquaintance of me was quickly shooed off by my antisocial behaviour. The thing is, I wanted to be left alone. Everyone seemed to wedge their noses into my daily affairs and it was none of their business, so I hated people. All this changed when I met Shiki and the rest of the gang, and now I'm a much better person. I'm still terrible at mixing around but at least I'm not a total outcast anymore.

So because I didn't mingle well, I had never once been invited for a sleepover, or gone on an outing to the beach with pals, or gotten entangled in a pillow fight. I didn't know what all of these were supposed to be like.

"I've never done it before," I admitted at last, much to her astonishment. She had a look of slight sympathy, as though to say it's a shame that I didn't ever get to participate in such a fun activity.

"You sure don't play around much, do you… Oh well, no matter! I'll teach you the secret! First, grab your weapon."

So I did. One pillow for her, one for myself, and… how hectic could this get anyway? It's not going to be anything heavy –

"We! Fight! Now! Yaaaaah! ! !"

Gah! My slow reflexes earned me a wallop to the face. She sniggered and kept the blows coming from all sides. I took every hit and became quite disoriented. I didn't know pillow fights could be this intense! But if there's one thing I'm good at, it's that I'm a fast learner. I was up to speed with the militaristic art of jousting with pillows, and after I made a successful dodge I quickly retaliated with blows of my own.

"Not so fast!" I snapped, readying my next attack with a smile. "Megaton Armageddon – oof!"

"You don't have time to name your battle moves, Neku! What do you think this is, some kind of anime? !"

"But – "

"Wide open!" Oops! Took another hit! "Keep this up and you'll be mincemeat before long!"

I felt the fight rise within me and I took her up on her challenge. "Oh, I may be a rookie at this but I'll show you!"

Whacking each other stupid was strangely enjoyable. At first, I thought it would be better to play it safe and gentle but when I realized she wasn't going to pull any punches, I didn't see the need to either. However, she had experience on her side while I had none, and the fight was hers to win. To add insult to injury, she even managed to disarm me by knocking away my pillow and then sat on top of me.

"A winner is me," she trumpeted. "Ohohoho!"

"Man… you can be such a kid."

"Hey, tapping into your inner child from time to time is a good way to – "

Suddenly her haughty expression froze and she raked her cheeks in horror like she had forgotten something important.

"Oh noooo!"

"Eri? ! What's the matter? !"

"I forgot to set a bet before we started fighting!" she groaned. "Now I don't even get anything for winning!"

What, that's it? That's just so silly. I couldn't suppress a laugh.

"I-It's not funny, Neku! I really wanted to give you a proper punishment! Like making you cook dinner for me in a tutu… or – "

"A tutu? ! Talk about a close shave! Ahaha…!"

"Rrgh, you!" One of her cheeks was puffed out in annoyance. So adorable…

Our cute little argument petered out as she calmed down and resigned herself to the fact that even though she had won, she had also lost. I was expecting her to demand a rematch, but with the way she was panting I could tell she was just as exhausted as I was and wanted nothing better than to call it a night.

"Hey Neku, what would you have asked me to do if you won?"

Oh, good question. I didn't know… I considered some options, but they were either too crazy to be fun, or _she_ was. Think about it for a minute here. There's no point asking Eri to strip if she does that all the time…

One possibility came to mind, but I hesitated to tell her. But whatever… You ask a question, you get an answer.

With a faltering voice, I said, "Erm… I'd ask you to follow up on my confession. You know, from a month back…?"

That was the stupidest thing for me to say. Look at how red Eri was blushing now! This was a delicate thing to talk about and I was too direct. She tried to say something, but nothing except splutters and incomplete sentences came out. Finally she plucked enough words from the air to string together a reply.

"H-Hey now… You… There's a limit to the things you can ask a person to do as a punishment… And that was certainly a bit much…"

I apologized hastily. "M-My bad, Eri. I wasn't thinking. Sorry…"

"No, it's fine. I figured this might come up sooner or later, so… well… Ah heck, we might as well get it over with."

She pulled me up into a sitting position so I could lean against the bedhead but she still remained on my lap, talking with me at close proximity. All the fun and cheekiness from earlier had vanished and now she was meek and quiet, almost like a different person. Almost like a lost puppy. Or a mouse. It was all I could do to resist the urge to pat her on the head. It was also all I could do not to try and make out the shapes in the lace of her still-exposed underwear.

Eri began, "Neku, what you said to me… I think about it every day. When you said you loved me, I was so happy… And even now, after this long, it still gives me a good feeling."

No kidding, girl. It's the same for me… It took a lot of guts for me to say it but it was well worth the effort.

"You're the nicest guy I've ever met," she continued, making my heart pound harder with every word. "And it's because of that and a bunch of other things that I really, really, _really_ like you… so… I want to know if I can love you too."

"Oh, uh… th-thanks?" No, no! Calm down! I shouldn't get nervous or my mind would go blank!

More fidgeting. For a while neither of us could say or do anything. She resorted to biting her fingernail to stall for time, and me? I didn't know where to look, but whenever I tried to look somewhere other than those starry eyes, it had to be _there_. That bra of hers! Argh, this wasn't going to bode well for my –

"Neku! Watch the nosebleeds!" She jabbed a tissue up my nostrils. "I wouldn't have you soiling my underwear… this is one of my faves!"

"Ugh… I'm… terribly sorry, Eri."

"N-No, _I'm_ sorry… It's my fault this happened." So cover yourself up already…

After she was sure that I would be okay, she continued carefully, "Anyway, I want to know if we're compatible as a couple. Luckily, after much thought, I think I've come up with a good way…"

I swallowed hard, waiting for her to finish, bracing myself… telling myself that whatever she was trying to dish out, I could handle it. Otherwise I wasn't a man!

She fixed me with those eyes again. Try as I might, this time I couldn't look away. It was like she had put me under a spell. She's so pretty… so pretty it was hard to believe my luck. Her voice was now a whisper, a sexy wisp of a sound.

"Neku, kiss me."

_Boom!_ And just like that, my head went up in flames!

Did I hear her right? ! I tried to make sure, but the stuttering in my throat killed all of my attempts to speak like a normal person. In any case, she repeated herself for me.

"I'm serious, Neku." Her face was hardened with determination. "I want us to kiss so I can find out for myself. And unless we do that…" Now her tone softened with nervousness. "…I wouldn't know what to make of this feeling in my heart. Do I like you? Do I love you? God, I'm so confused, Neku… I've never felt like this for you before. I really don't know what to think. I don't even know if they're, you know, 'feelings'. Those kinds of feelings. I told you… my head's in a mess. That's why we've got to do it."

"Aren't we moving a bit too fast for this?"

"Nope, not really. We're the bestest of friends! Wh-What's the harm in a kiss, right? It's like Christmas under the mistletoe, but… with more meaning… I guess."

The excitement skyrocketed within me. "B-But I've never kissed anyone before…"

"Th-Then… I'll… I'll teach you the secret…"

The goosebumps raised on my skin like flagpoles when she linked her hands behind my neck. Her eyes took on this dewy, dreamy quality and – hey, did the whole room just turn pink? ! There were sparkles blinding me left and right! Was this a delusion?

Oh my god. She's coming closer. Eyes closing, head tilting to one side… I watched those perfectly-formed lips of hers. She really was going to do this, even when I wasn't ready. I would have loved my first kiss to be at some exotic location like the beach or at least in an empty park during a sunset… but matters were quite pressing and I had little place to argue. This would have to do. My first kiss would forever be immortalized as something that took place on a bed at home. Not exactly scenic, but beggars can't be choosers.

Closer… Oh boy, there we go… Overwhelmed and positively quaking, I simply shut my eyes, pried my mouth ajar, and hoped for the best.

"Relax, Neku… This wouldn't take – "

_Crack._

"Ngah!"

"Ow!"

Our… Our teeth clashed! ! !

We wound up rubbing our mouths and apologizing a great deal. But it did raise an interesting question: if Eri knows how to kiss, how could she be guilty of a mistake only novices would make?

"Sorry!" she blurted, getting all flustered. "I… I'm not usually like this. I've never kissed someone who's not my boyfriend before. It's like my first kiss all over again."

"Huh? You… panicked?"

"Y-Yeah, kinda. I rushed it… sorry about that. Are all your teeth intact, Neku?"

"I should be the one asking that. And yes, they're fine."

"Oh… uh… good…"

God, how long was this going to take? ! The suspense was killing me! It was killing her too, apparently. What should I do to ease the tension… I shouldn't do anything that'd ruin the atmosphere though. Hmmm… maybe…

"Oh, right!" I stammered. "Perhaps I should switch off the lights? !"

What the heck did I just say? ! As if things weren't awkward enough as they were already!

"No!" she yelped, then quickly softening her tone to a more reasonable level of outrage, she continued, "I mean, no. Wh-What for? This isn't the time for… It's not like we're going to have s– "

Pause. More uncontrollable blushing. And…

"No no no…! Neku, what're you making me say? !"

"Wait, I didn't mean it like – ow! Ow ow ow!"

She handed me a lot of fists to the chest to vent off her embarrassment and it hurt a bit. To call what I did a slip of the tongue would be highly inaccurate but it was my fault all the same so I let her finish. I waited for her to eventually calm down and catch her breath so I could apologise, but not before she mumbled her thoughts on the matter:

"Neku… you're an idiot."

"Sorry… I saw you were getting nervous and I was just trying to help soothe your nerves. I'm not very experienced with stuff like that so it never crossed my mind that it'd be inappropriate."

Eri seemed satisfied with my explanation but heaved a sigh, slightly frustrated that our evening had to have so many interruptions. "I figured, what with you being a romance newbie and all. Ah well, you may not exactly be Romeo but I've seen your progress and you're getting there, so I'll give you credit for trying. Now can we continue where we left off?"

"Y-Yeah… Okay, Eri."

"I wouldn't make the same mistake twice," she half-chuckled.

I knew she wouldn't.

Those eyes of hers were looking right into mine again. So gorgeous… Beautiful brown orbs with a bedroom gaze… When they fluttered closed again I mirrored her actions and waited in pitch blackness for her to come to me. I couldn't see, but I could feel the warmth of her face as she approached. My gut was twisted into knots and I was even getting impatient to start.

It was taking a while… She must be taking her time, thinking, contemplating what to do… The waiting was unbearable. Just when I feared she might be getting second thoughts… just when I imagined she might stop and give some excuse about a lapse in judgment… just when she seemed she was going to give up…

…it happened. I felt her

lips

on

mine…

Wh-What's with this sensation? A great warmth was spreading from my mouth to the rest of my body. My head became so light I thought I might float to the ceiling. No… I had to retain my sanity somehow, but Eri wouldn't let me. When her lips started moving and plucking away, I knew I had crossed that boundary and couldn't turn around anymore.

So I surrendered myself and kissed her back.

What was I doing? I was actually more surprised at myself than at the kiss we were sharing. It might make sense for me to be so stunned I'd do nothing and let her have her way with me, but to think I'd actually join in and make this a combined effort… Since when did I get so emboldened… I was sure she must be surprised too.

Oh god, she's moaning now. She's never been like this before. Never been this… _sexy_. And that's saying a lot for someone who teases me all the time with her sex appeal. Invigorated by the experience, my arms started moving on their own and – I couldn't even believe I was doing this – they slipped underneath her open shirt, snaking to a more comfortable place: the small of her back. This coaxed her to move closer… until she was pressed right against me, our bodies melting like chocolate. Inside of my head I could almost hear sultry saxophone music to suit the mood.

Talk about kinky… I sure didn't want one thing to lead to another this soon though!

In apparent need for a gulp of fresh air, Eri broke things off. Our lips parted slowly, almost reluctantly… I opened my eyes at last, and before me Eri sat panting and with her face glowing a deep pink.

As we waited for our breaths to catch up with us, we just stared at each other, thoroughly stupefied from the past one or two minutes. I didn't know what was real anymore… We just kissed… It felt too unbelievable to be true, but our lips were throbbing and slightly swollen and that alone was proof positive that it actually happened.

You don't see Eri at a loss for words often but now was one of those times. She just squeaked like a mouse, "W-Wow… Neku, y-you're…"

"Huh?"

Her trembling fingers reached up to her lips. "You're a surprisingly good kisser. Are you sure you're new at this?"

"Th-That was my first time…"

"Seriously? W-Wow…" Now both of her hands were shielding her mouth as she struggled to get her message across. "I mean… wow… You… I… That was better than I expected. So much better…"

"Really?" I was blushing like nuts.

"Uh-huh. I… I had…"

Her voice trailed off. In the afterglow of things, she suddenly became very shy and was reduced to mumbling the rest of the sentence, which – to my delight – was:

"…I had fun."

She actually liked it? ! This was a good sign, right? It had to be. Didn't think it'd go so well for her too. I half-expected her to liken the feeling to giving a hickey to a slimy fish, what with me being totally new at this. It's not always there when you want it but when it does happen, beginner's luck can be an immensely satisfying thing. Either way, this was one more nice memory to chalk up!

Eri saw how unresponsive I had become but that was just me being so glad that I was speechless. She mistook my silence for disagreement or maybe even disgust and tried to prod a reaction out of me to see where she might have messed up.

"Neku," she said uneasily, "I'm sorry I forced this upon you on such short notice… If you didn't like it I can understand… But I just wanted to know… I was just curious about us."

I hurried to put her at ease but I wasn't good with poise. "No, Eri, I didn't mind it one bit! I'm lucky that my first kiss got to be with you. Ahaha… Ah, just listen to me. I'm like a fool in love."

It was good to see that she was feeling better and she even managed to giggle again. "You're funny."

"So, um, Eri… yeah." She kissed me for a purpose… to understand her own feelings better, maybe even confirm them for real. So what was it? I pressed her for details, but tried not to get too pushy to put her off. I had to know this. It made my guts spin just to ask but it's either this or bust! "You've already done this, so maybe you can tell me? About, um… what you think, I mean, of… uh, me as a boyfriend? …Y-Yeah! That's it… What do you think of me as a potential boyfriend…"

Eri gave me one of her many warm smiles that were famously proven to make men's knees go weak, so it's great that I was sitting. The thumping of my heart wouldn't stop as I waited for her to speak. Ooh, what would she say… It had to be something good… I hoped so, anyway…

"Not telling."

Huh? Oh, maybe it'd be better I voice that out, "Huh?"

"It means I can't tell you, genius," she giggled. "You can't know."

Ah well… When you read between the lines more carefully, she may have said that she wanted to understand our connection to each other a bit better, but she never said she'd tell me…

But that didn't mean I liked being kept in the dark about it!

"That's not fair," I protested. "Can't you give me a hint? You're not the only one who's curious here."

She gave it some thought, seeing that I had made an argument even she could not refute for once. We were both in the same boat, so shouldn't we be able to share _some_ secrets?

Finally she relented. "Alright… I'll tell you this… but that's all, okay?"

That'd be plenty! "Okay."

She put me out of my misery at long last…

"Neku, you taste like miso soup."

…not.

Maybe for now it was useless to dig deeper into the mystery that was Eri so I decided to leave this for another day. "Alright, I get it… I wouldn't push you if you don't want to talk about it."

That grin looked like the birth of another smart retort but nothing of the sort happened. Her smile faded gradually and she went back to shy girl mode as our eyes continued to bore into each other. It was affecting me greatly too. Prolonged eye contact was a force to be reckoned with. Really, don't mess with it.

She mumbled, "Sorry. We're best friends, so we shouldn't be keeping things from each other… But everything that happened this evening is still a lot to take in for me, so I need to mull over it some more. Please try to understand."

"There's no rush, I guess… though the sooner we clear this up, the better."

"I haven't forgotten to get back to you on this. I'll be a while, though."

"Okay, I understand. Take your time… It'll be bad if you make a decision because you were forced to."

The smile she gave me was a way of silent thanks. "So glad you're such a thoughtful guy. Oh! Turns out I managed to keep that promise too. Remember?"

"Huh?"

"You know, when I said we'd kiss and make up? That's from about a month ago… But we did just that, finally! I never forget what I promise. I'm a good girl, see?"

The words of the folks back at WildKat came back to me at that instant, with Uzuki's standing out in particular.

"_Eri may be an airhead but she's not going to break any promises_," she had said. "_Put a little more faith into her, will you?_"

Yeah… she's right. Eri doesn't look like it at first glance but she's one of the most trustworthy people I've met. She's the type who'd rather break an arm than break a promise. There's never a time when she doesn't follow through. Hasn't she showed a lot of this good side of hers to everyone over the years? Who was I to doubt her? I could count on her to give me her thoughts soon… So until that day comes, I'll wait for you, Eri…

"Oh, not to change the topic or anything," she continued, "but there is one thing… How much longer do you intend to grope my butt? Just asking."

Huh? ! I was groping her what? ! I thought I was holding onto the small of her back. But it's true: my hands must have unconsciously travelled down to her bottom because that's where they lay… yikes! I hurriedly let go. Goodness, her lovely butt of all things! My hands were tingling and quivering and everything!

She wasn't angry in the slightest. Being the easygoing soul that she was, she'd just laugh it off, and that's exactly what she did now. Few things could faze her. She's like a wall made of lead.

"You don't need to say sorry so many times," she chuckled. "I heard you the first time round."

"Ah… um…"

"It's getting late, Neku. Sooo… lights out?"

I wanted to talk to her more, to scratch a little more off the surface of our relationship, to know her even better than I already do… But unfortunately, time wouldn't allow it. There were classes to be had tomorrow and we needed to sleep. Ah well, another time.

She set up shop for the night in my bed again, nuzzling up to me like a kitten. Eri's so cute when she's sleeping like that… And when I gazed longingly at her face up close, my eyes kept going back to her lips. They were so soft… They've got a nice shape too – neither too thin nor too thick – and if there were any complaints to be had, I couldn't think of any… well, okay, she tasted like miso soup too. But then again, that's hardly a problem. I love miso soup.

Hopefully things will get better from here on out. A girl wouldn't kiss a boy for no reason… I was pretty convinced Eri was as much in love with me as I was for her. But theories were just theories, and I wouldn't know till she said it.

Until then, I hoped to taste her miso soup again sometime soon…

XOXOXOXOXO

When morning came it was not my alarm clock that roused me but the smell of something good.

Where was Eri? She wasn't in bed. She's like Houdini; she could blink away from sight and reappear three blocks away if she so wished. And now she had mysteriously vanished again, but judging from the aroma that was filling my nostrils it was easy to guess where she had disappeared to (besides, she's not the kind of girl to just 'leave in the morning', if you get my drift…).

"Oh! 'Morning, Neku!" Ah… There she was, in the kitchen, busy as a bee at the stove. "You're up so early!"

"Uh, y-you too. What're you doing, Eri?" …Even though it was obvious.

"I'm getting breakfast ready, 'cause I'm feeling extra generous today! Have a seat, please. I wouldn't be long."

That sure was one fantastic smell… What's that, omelletes? Nice. Not a bad way to start the day on top of all the… um, eye candy that I was already being subjected to. She's not in one of those naked apron getups, but it's still erotic enough to be seen in only a dress shirt. God, why do I have to keep describing what she wears? ! Everyone's a bit of a pervert and I'm no exception, but…

"Let's dig in," she said, having brought our portions to the dining table. "And lookie here, it's your absolute favourite: eggs! I was really careful to get the consistency just right and – oh, I kinda used up your stuff again. Sorry about that! But I just wanted to – oh man, you're mad at me, aren't you…"

"Huh? N-No, not in the slightest! In fact I'm happy that you're making breakfast for me…" I struggled in vain to find the most appropriate words. "…I just have things on my mind, is all. Ah, when I say I have things on my mind I don't mean it in a bad way, or that I'm opposed to them. I'm only… what's the word… chewing the cud? O-Oh wait, that's three words… I'm just saying – "

"Neku," she giggled, "first of all, calm down."

"Oh, right. O-Okay…"

"Secondly, are you still thinking about our little kiss from last night, huh?"

She's sharp as a tack… "I'd hardly call that 'little'…"

"I suppose not," she agreed cheekily.

Was that all she had to say? Surely something as important as a kiss would warrant a good swapping of opinions, and all she did was brush it off like dandruff and continue with breakfast? I was hoping she'd talk about it some more so I could gain some extra insight on what turned her on and what made her tick. It disappointed me that our breakfast chat was as ordinary as could be. Why gossip about her girlfriends when there were more important things in life to discuss?

Luckily for me, that wasn't the case for long. In the midst of eating she returned to the topic I was burning to resume and that perked me up good.

"Hey Neku," she said softly, "thanks again for last night. I've been meaning to get to the bottom of this."

"Oh! Me too… Are you still not going to tell me about your feelings, though?"

"The concrete hasn't set yet. I'd rather wait till I'm sure of what I feel. No offence, but the last thing I want is to go out with another mistake. I want to make sure you're right for me before I actually make a boyfriend out of you. And I've come up with another plan…"

"Another plan?"

"Yes, because I think I need more convincing. Can't hurt to be sure, you know? We girls take comfort in security. So that's why for now… we should deepen our friendship even further."

"How do we do that?" That didn't sound any different from what we're already doing, and we do things far beyond the threshold that normal friends are used to. What could possibly be more intense than the shenanigans she – pun kinda intended – exposed me to? But you can trust Eri to raise the bar to heights you never knew imaginable.

She hesitated and looked away, her face slowly glowing like a lamppost. This was going to be something over-the-top… Better put my inner shield up just in case this turned out to be –

"Well, Neku… Why don't we become kissing buddies?"

My omellete nearly went down the wrong pipe and my shield shattered into a million pieces. Holy what? !

"K-Kissing buddies? !" I could correctly guess the implications of that. "You mean we… kiss each other on a more… regular basis?"

"Among many other things." Oh man, she's serious about this. "It'll be like a sneak preview at what the two of us being in a relationship will be like. I don't know if going out with you will be worth it in the long run, so I just want to be sure. And if along the way I do fall in love with you… then, well…" She paused just before she could say too much, and then finished with a safe-sounding, "We'll see. We'll see…"

This was turning out to be a dizzying turn of events at any rate. Eri and I… From acquaintances to best friends and now kissing buddies? Now that's what I call an upgrade. If this kept up we might eventually become lovers… So it was up to me to do my best and keep her invested in her own plans.

I'll be man enough to admit it here: where love was concerned I was still as green as grass. I'd stumble and fall. But I'd get up and learn from my mistakes and be a better man for Eri. This was my silent vow to not only her but also myself: I'd definitely make myself the best guy she could ever ask for, hands down!

"Alright," I said, puffing out my chest. "Count on me!"

"Hee hee, that's the spirit!" I could sense her immense approval. "Even though it's not official yet, it's nice that you're willing to take charge! I like that in a guy."

"I'm just doing what I can and I might make the odd blunder now and again, but… please give me your support."

"You got it! Alright, let's declare it right now: starting from today, we're kissing buddies. Good plan? Great plan!"

"Yeah, let's work hard at it."

Eri crossed her arms, slightly cross. "Hey, be a bit more enthusiastic, will you? Where're those exclamation marks? ! I wanna see more of 'em. More!"

I laughed. "Exclamation marks are invisible in speech, Eri."

"Don't care. We're not leaving till we get some '!' in bulk."

"D-Did you just pronounce an exclamation mark? ! How? !"

XOXOXOXOXO

And so, from that morning onwards, we were kissing buddies. But apart from this daring declaration, nothing different actually happened yet. We still had breakfast together, we still took the bus together, and she still poked fun at me as always. All that stood out was the kiss but that was last night, making today seem like a whole new day. There wasn't anything we did that was a distinct departure from our usual daily routine. Life seemed so normal…

Our bus ride together didn't last long. Her college loomed into view and it was time for her to alight. Too bad… I would have loved an extra minute with her…

"Catch you later, Neku."

She got up and left me with a cheerful goodbye wave that I returned. I watched as she disappeared from view, and all the while I was thinking deeply. Kissing buddies, eh? First I'd heard of it, but then she just coined the term this morning. So we're stepping even further into the realm of "more-than-friends-but-less-than-lovers"… She's depending on me to make this a success, so I had to get creative and –

The sudden reappearance of my pink-haired friend nearly startled me out of my seat. She came back so abruptly. Did she forget to take something?

"Eri? Wh-What's up?"

No answer. Then, much to my surprise – well, much to everyone's surprise, actually – she swooped down, grabbed my head in both hands and planted a whopper of a kiss on my mouth. It took five full seconds. Now, in real life, that isn't a long time, but when the whole world grinds to a halt during moments like these, it feels like forever. My brain was spinning like a figure skater in the Olympics.

When she was done, and I just gawked at her, hoping for an explanation behind her behaviour, she simply reasoned with a naughty wink:

"Gotta make sure you're really awake. Ciao!"

And like a whirlwind she was gone, leaving a bus full of confused passengers in her wake. Everyone looked at me, and even the driver took longer than usual to continue the journey. And as for myself? Of course I was left totally stunned. Who wouldn't be? The embarrassment took over quickly and I wished there was somewhere I could dig a hole and hide my face in.

I knew this was going to be the beginning of a lot of big changes…

...

**Author's note:**

**Oh man, this update took even longer than the last one. So sorry about that! I know I've got a full-time job but it's not really much of an excuse. If possible, I want the next chapter to come out a lot sooner. On the plus side, this chapter should satisfy anyone who's been waiting for some (platonic) action between Neku and Eri. So let's all look forward to even better things for them in the future! Thank you for giving this story a read!**

**Side note: the final chapter of M-rated love story Blossom has been released. Read how the steamy conclusion between Neku and Shiki plays out.**

**Anyway, once again, thank you all so much for your support... I'll see you in the next chapter. Bye!**

**BrDPirateMan**


	26. Shrinking Distance

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 26)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Hey, hey, Neku. Big news!"

"Hmm?"

"Apparently Izumi has been dating this guy who's way older than her." Eri's voice hushed down to emphasize how scandalous this piece of news was. "And she's been doing it for at least three months! It's a shocking revelation! What do you think they do together, Neku? Get all over each other and stuff? A maiden and a prune getting all frisky… blech!"

"Mmm. Yeah."

"_Neku!_ For god's sake… You're not listening to me! You should always listen to a lady when she's – "

My veins were just about to burst in irritation. "Please don't disturb me now. I've got a very important assignment due in two days and I need to get it done."

"But I'm crashing at your place now," she protested. "And I'm bored… I just wanna talk, if only a little. Surely you can spare a moment for your cute friend?"

"Sure, gimme an hour and I'll get back to you. Sorry about this, but for now… shoo."

I didn't take my eyes off my work but I heard her grumbling behind me. She doesn't let people go when she wants something… so I'd have to face the music sooner or later.

"What nerve," she said. "I even brought Phones along to visit." Huh? Oh right… Phones is the name of her favourite teddy. Sometimes she brings it over. "He's angry that you're ignoring us… Don't you know how to treat your own wife and kid?"

"Wife and – " My pen slipped in my fingers and there was an ugly smudge where the answer to question 6 should be. There she went again implying that we're married, and proud parents at that (albeit to a teddy bear)! "What the heck kind of drivel are you say– "

As soon as I turned to face her, she dived in quicker than lightning and slammed our lips together. I froze in my seat like a statue. The skin curled everywhere on my body.

When she was done about a minute later, she grinned widely. "Phones is real happy to know that his dad still has the hots for his mum."

"E-Eri… You…" I was trembling in a mixture of arousal and outrage. "Why you…! I'm trying to work here!"

But she just laughed and fled from my room, sticking out her tongue over her shoulder for good measure.

Dammit, I almost had the whole assignment down pat… But now she had to go and kill off my concentration!

That was a mere sample of what Eri was capable of. Ever since we became what she dubbed "kissing buddies", she's taken a liking to kissing me at every convenient opportunity. Her behaviour was erratic at best; for example, she would kiss me when I least expected it, but when I was confident that she'd pounce on me, nothing would happen. This made her kissing attacks extremely unpredictable. And the worst part was, just because she was a total tease didn't mean I had the right to do anything untoward to her, so I was always at loggerheads with my own male instincts.

_Maybe I should take revenge by stripping her_, I might suggest to myself. _Since she's always doing that anyway, I might as well give her a hand!_

_But no,_ my good side would chide, y_ou can't do that, Neku! It's a bad thing!_

_Shut up! You don't get many chances like this, you stinking virgin! Pluck up your courage and get the deed done so you can put yourself out of your misery for goodness' sake!_

_Never! I shall prevail!_

Every day was a battle of wits against myself, so it was something of a miracle that I always managed to beat my inner devil down. However, no matter how well I fought, the damage would have been done, and my nose would suffer the consequences of my imagination…

…with now being a prime example.

"Gah!" My assignment sheet was soaked with blood!

And the worst part was that I had to do this whole thing all over again. Damn you, Eri! ! !

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Another thing I noticed about Eri was that she had become markedly bolder than before. The distance between us was steadily getting smaller, so she must have thought it was only appropriate to ramp up the naughtiness. Goodness, did she ramp it up. Moderation isn't in her dictionary.

There was no end to the torture. Take the following exchange, for example…

"Neku, come have a whiff."

"Wh-What?" I gulped so hard I thought I might leave a dent in my throat. "No way. Put something on first."

"I just took a shower," she protested, opening up a can of beer. "It sucks to have to put stuff on when my skin's all warm and steamy. Besides, I've got panties on and a towel around my neck and that counts as something, so deal with it! Anyway, I need your opinion on this peach-scented body butter that I bought down at Shibukyu."

Her towel was hanging loosely and it was the only thing covering her bare chest. It was one of the shorter towels too, so there was a good inch of bottom breast to see. Not that I intended to look for a long time, mind you!

As Eri took her time sipping, I continued to be adamant about my refusal. "Is it that hard to at least cover up your chest?"

"With my hands? Well… I got a beer in one of them, so it's not easy to – "

"What the heck… I didn't mean with your hands, idiot!" A hand bra? ! The thought nearly stimulated me all the way to oblivion!

"Oh fine, be a fusspot," she huffed, after another swig. "Here, hold this for a sec."

Into my hands she stuffed her can of beer. Now that her hands were free, she could whip off her towel with no prob– wait, what was she doing? ! I saw them! I saw _them!_ I saw way too much! ! !

The blood was trickling out of my nose as I tried to shield my gaze. She was doing something weird, though what I couldn't tell, even through the gaps in between my fingers. I could manage yelling the whole house down though. "Oh my god, Eri! What was that for? ! You damn nearly blinded me good!"

"And there! Done!"

"Huh? !"

Adaptability was one of Eri's best attributes. She had fashioned a makeshift scarf out of the towel and wrapped it around her breasts. A novel idea, but a little too much on the skimpy side… a fact that made my nosebleed a lot worse!

"Not a bad job if I do say so myself." She plucked lightly at it to test how well it held on. "Okay, I'm covered up just like you insisted. Are you happy now? …I guess you are, if you're bleeding so heavily."

"Ugh…"

"You always take too much time. Come on already!" She climbed onto my bed and took her seat at her favourite place: my lap. "Tell me if I smell good. I want to know if that body butter was a worthwhile purchase, and I wanna know now! Geez!"

Eri is a little shorter than I am, so when we're in this very intimate position, we could just about look at each other without having to pay a visit to the chiropractor's later for making our necks suffer. Well, maybe I had to crane it upwards a tiny bit, but it's manageable for the most part. It's perfect for gazing at her lovely face up close and easily wins a place as one of life's ultimate thrills.

But enough of bedroom fantasies! She wanted an opinion now. Hmmm… Oh, that was a delicious aroma. Peach, huh? She smelt like peaches… Such fantastic citrusy goodness…

"Hey, cut it out with the drool, will you? I'm being serious here, and you're leaking from every place on your silly little head!" She jammed a wad of tissues into my face and I used it to clean myself up.

Well, I had to say something… though I thought I'd add a little flavour to my words.

"As long as you don't break out in rashes, I'd say this body butter is a good choice…"

"That's not what I wanted to hear, dummy!"

I allowed the slightest smile to creep onto my face. "…is what I'd love to say, but the truth is, it's really easy on the nose. Light and refreshing. So yeah, it's good stuff."

Her face lit up but then mischief curled her lips up into a cheeky grin. "Now we're getting somewhere. Hmmm… If you think the smell is nice, then I'll bet the taste will be to your liking too."

"Taste? Wait, what do you – "

She didn't let me finish. No, her lips wouldn't let me. They kept my mouth so preoccupied I couldn't utter a single word. Ooh, this time they were a bit more delicious… I could catch tints of strawberry here and there… Was this how her lip gloss tasted like? Oh man… she's good at this either way.

"Mmm… You pack a mean kiss as usual, Neku."

So busy was I at digesting the lingering taste in my mouth that I couldn't reply right away even after she was finished. She took it as a good sign and was as happy as a clam.

"Well, thanks for everything," she said cheerily. "That body butter is definitely going in my list of things I can buy without regrets."

"Oh, uh, that's good to know…"

"Alright, I'm going to bed. If you need me, I'll be in the guest room as usual…" – then with a whisper to my ear she added – "…and my door will be unlocked." That was one really big wink. Really, this girl was such a –

"E-Eri? !"

"Hmm? Neku, what's the matter – oh no! My towel came off!" Darn straight! It must have unraveled by itself while we were kissing. And now she was as topless as a convertible with the sunroof down!

"Kuh…!"

"Argh! Neku, s-stop bleeding all over me! I just took a shower!"

Yeah, like I was the one at fault here!

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri had given me a lot of sugar by the time we reached the two-week mark of our special relationship. If all the guys who were crushing on her knew what the two of us had been up to, they'd probably kill me. Fortunately for me, I had yet to receive any death threats or voodoo dolls in my mail.

However, as of late, she had been kissing me less. I didn't notice it at first but when I sat down to think, I realized she was gradually cutting down on the frequency of it. There were days when she was around and I would secretly hope she would do something to get our precious ritual started, but then nothing would happen. She'd just go about her business as usual.

Sometimes she would appear to wait for something… or at least wait for me to do something, but when I asked her what I could help her with, her reply was that everything was fine. I knew that couldn't be all, though. Because behind every smile she accompanied her words with, I could detect a tinge of frustration.

Wait… It couldn't be! Was she growing tired of me? Did the novelty of our pseudo-romantic relationship wear off? Or maybe she'd been kissing too much and needed a break… Gah! Just had a bad thought… Perhaps I was suffering from bad breath? ! But that couldn't be it either. I brushed my teeth at least three times a day and gargled like a maniac using the best mouthwash on the market. There's no telling when she'd grab me and start kissing, so I had to be prepared at all times, right? I wouldn't want her to leave with a bad taste in her mouth…

So what in the world was it?

I could ask her, but with the way she was I wouldn't get a sufficient answer. Eri has quite the reputation for being hard to understand. Even her closest friends can get baffled by her behaviour. I should know.

Time for a little trial and error… Through a process of elimination I might be able to unearth the truth just yet.

One night she had come over to visit as usual, and she was sitting on the couch, deep in thought… or lack thereof, given the blank look on her face.

I approached her. "Eri? What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just… spacing out. Been a hard day at work today." That look in her eyes remained as distant as the horizon.

"Must be tough pretending to be Seishirou-sama, huh?"

"Nah, I can manage."

My small talk yielded nothing useful, but I strived to be patient. An opportunity would present itself sooner or later, and then I could have my "Eureka!" moment at last and the whole world would be happy. Hopefully.

I could feel her eyes boring into my back as I prepared two mugs of cocoa for us. It's incredibly stressful knowing she wanted something from me, but not knowing what. One more try… Come on, Neku, you can do it… If I couldn't get through to her then I'd have to resort to more forceful options, something I'd rather not do if I could help it.

"Eri, don't you need something? Like a snack or…?"

"No, I'm good."

"Is your room comfy enough? Blankets need fluffing?"

"It's alright."

"Oh, I know! Do you need to take a bath? I can prepare it for you if you wa– "

A grumpy-sounding sigh spewed from her lips. "I just took a shower, Neku. Besides, you don't have a bathtub. You can't prepare a bath if you don't have a tub… dummy."

What the… Did she just call me a dummy? What did I do to deserve this thorny attitude? I'd have been fine with her a little longer but that was the last straw. I laid the cocoa down on the coffee table with a bang and confronted her with arms akimbo.

"Eri," I snapped, "just what the heck is eating you? ! You've been awfully strange today. Actually, not just today. You've been like this for the past week!"

My outburst immediately put her on the defensive. "Y-You don't need to shout…"

"S-Sorry." I assumed a softer tone but remained firm. "Anyway, what's the matter with you? You've been out of it for too long, yet you wouldn't tell me what the problem is when I ask. Did I do something you didn't like?"

She hesitated to speak because I was too brusque with her earlier. Ugh, didn't I promise myself that I'd be nicer to her?

"It's not what you did that I didn't like," she mumbled at last. "It's what you didn't do."

"What I didn't do?" I joined her on the couch, gripped with puzzlement. "But if you say it like that… I don't know what you mean."

"If you're this oblivious you wouldn't be able to guess it right even if I give you a million chances." There was disappointment on her face… the kind of disappointment you feel when you don't get the presents you want for Christmas or your birthday. But what could be so serious that her cheery disposition could take a nosedive?

Eri blurted out an explanation. "Neku, we're kissing buddies now, so I was hoping you'd be a bit more assertive like you said you would. But you've never been the one to initiate any of our kisses, not even once! Lately, I've been staying passive, waiting for you to make a move, but you haven't even lifted a finger. You're a guy, for goodness' sake! Take responsibility now and again, will you?"

Was this reason she was disgruntled? Because I had been letting her take charge instead of kissing her of my own accord? I see… So she didn't do anything with me because she was waiting for me to take action myself…

Now the visibly unhappy Eri was even pounding me with accusations. "Could it be you're not keen on the whole 'kissing buddies' idea? That you actually don't want to kiss me?"

"N-No! Hang on, that's not it at all!"

I laid one hand on her arm to try and calm her down. She was reluctant to look my way.

"Sorry, Eri…" I chose my words and spoke gingerly, afraid I'd make her bolt out the front door. "Listen to me. I do enjoy it when we kiss, and while I thought it was strange at first, the idea of us being kissing buddies is starting to grow on me."

That seemed to help curb her agitation. "B-But that doesn't change that you wouldn't kiss me on your own…"

"Eri… Believe me, nothing makes me happier when we do it, but I'm just scared I'd hurt your feelings if I act too rashly. I mean, it'd be bad if you end up hating me because of something I did."

"Huh?" She rubbed her neck. "So you didn't do anything because you were afraid you might make me mad?"

I nodded.

"Then don't be afraid!" she said with a huff, although it was clear she wasn't angry anymore, which was a good sign. "We've been sticking to one another like glue since, I dunno, ages… Does it make sense to be scared to kiss me when we've done way crazier things together?"

"Hmmm… well, you might have a point there…"

There was a second, more compelling reason that she had for me, and she said it with a rapidly reddening face. "Plus, you know… since I like you, I'd be happy if you actually kissed me."

We both sat there, embarrassed as heck and looking everywhere but at each other, as though if we made eye contact we'd explode like a pair of piñatas.

"Ah… um, oh… I see…" Geh… What's the safest thing to say at a time like this? "Nice weather"? "Homework's been tough"? "The economy is pretty bad these days"?

Uh-oh. She's turning this way. Mustn't make eye contact. We'd be goners if we did! We wouldn't be able to take the magic of the atmosphere that was building up between us. I just knew. However, my neck was too stubborn to move. Dammit, neck, do something! But it didn't. I looked at her, she looked at me, and almost immediately the heat of the moment got both of us good. We felt the electricity dancing between our eyes. Her lips were silent and unmoving but I knew what they were really trying to tell me.

Be a man. Go for it already! If she's going to be happy with it, then why wait? !

"Eri."

She jumped up half an inch off the couch, suddenly scared of my manly determination.

"Y-Yeah? Neku?"

I clutched her by the shoulders, and the next jump she made could have launched her straight into the ceiling if it weren't for my grip.

"I love you, Eri. I don't care that you already know. I just had to say it again."

She was beginning to grow limp in my grasp. Was she swooning? I was surprised at myself. Who was I again? I had entered a trance-like state where I was not Neku Sakuraba anymore, but a suave player with an aura that could outshine The Prince's. Was this an alter ego of mine that I never knew existed, staying dormant all of the twenty years of my life until now?

But that wasn't all. "And this," I continued, "is proof of my feelings!"

My lips were ready to deliver the shocking coup de grace to a paralysed Eri. However, I came to my senses at the last second and ground to a halt, our faces hovering just precious nanometers apart. My sensible side had come to my – and her – rescue. No respectable gentleman would take advantage of a girl… even if – ironically – she did exactly that to him on a disturbingly regular basis. It's simply not done for a guy to be like that.

"Sorry," I mumbled, ashamed of myself. "I can't believe I almost wanted to force a kiss on you. But that's not romantic… so I'm glad I didn't."

Eri was very understanding. Her expression softened and I felt a smidge better.

"Don't worry about it, Neku. I was out of line myself getting all worked up just because you haven't kissed me. Sorry! These things are meant to be taken slowly, so I gotta thank you for this wake-up call. Because it seems like one of life's most important lessons slipped my mind long ago and I just remembered it."

"Oh? What's that lesson?"

She flashed me a sweet smile. "You can't rush love!"

What? Did she mention the word "love"? Aha! Was this supposed to be a hint, to discreetly tell me that we might feel the same way about each other? That was certainly an interesting thing to hear… and apparently she realized it herself too, because now she was trying desperately to cover it up like a slip of the tongue that she didn't intend to make.

"Not that I meant anything by it, of course, ha ha…! Oh goodness, will you just listen to me, Neku. I say the strangest things! You know how I am, right? …Um, r-right?"

She was getting flustered, exposing her weaker side. Play my cards right, and I might be able to squeeze some answers out of her. I cast aside my doubts and asked point-blank:

"Say, Eri… do you love me too?"

The wall of questions she put up made for a decidedly flimsy defense. "Wh-What? What do you… Where… Where do you get off suggesting that? On what grounds?"

"W-Well, you did imply it yourself… in various ways…"

"I'm not implying anything," she gulped.

"Are you… perhaps… in denial?"

"No… I mean, yes! I mean, um… eugh."

There was no further need to press her. Whatever she wanted to say was on the tip of her tongue and I had a hunch she'd say it without further provocation. I was right.

"Actually," she admitted softly, "I don't know… There's something about you that makes my heart stir, but we've been so close for so long that I can't make head or tail of it. That said, I might have some… feelings… for you. Some. It's nothing really big though, mind you…"

Big or not, I didn't care. My chances weren't zero, that's what's important. I was glad. And it's nice that we got to shed some light on the matter, but I felt slightly guilty that I had to drive Eri into a corner to do so. Defeated by her own embarrassment, she looked a lot like a sad puppy. I gave her an affectionate pat on the head, hoping to get her figurative tail wagging again the way it usually did.

"Sorry for putting you out, Eri… I didn't mean anything bad. Can I see a smile? Please?"

Instead of complying with my request, she muttered flatly, "It's not advisable to keep a girl's heart pounding, you know… She might get cardiac arrest."

Believe me, despite the apparent solemnity of her words, she's joking. It even inspired me to crack what I thought was the perfect companion joke to that.

"If anything happens to you," I wisecracked, "I'll administer CPR."

She snorted and broke into a short laugh, completely transforming her earlier monotone. "Neku, what in the cheese bits was that? That was awfully corny."

"I guess… Sorry!"

Hearing her laughter kept my spirits up and I joined her in the mirth. When her giggles petered out eventually, she threw her arms around me and warmed me right up with a big hug, so it was only fair to return the favour.

"Neku," she said, "promise me. Promise me you'll wait for my answer? At the rate the two of us are going, I don't think I'll be too long at all."

"Is that indicative of a favourable answer, then?"

"Not telling. Hee hee."

"Not again," I groaned. "I'll promise you though. …Seriously, you work full-time as a living cliffhanger."

She was as cheery as a child and just as cheeky. "It's a thankless job, but someone's got to do it! …Ah, it's getting late."

We disentangled from our embrace and stood at the front door lingering on our goodbyes for the evening, spending what few precious minutes we had left before we parted ways. There's no week when she doesn't pop by at least once, and she'd usually stay for the night. However, ever since she landed her evening job cross-dressing in secret as the ultra-desirable butler Seishirou-sama, she didn't have as many chances to visit as before, so whenever we were together, we'd cherish every second.

"You're not sleeping over, Eri?"

"Not tonight. Why, Neku? Are you afraid you'll be lonely?"

"Th-That's not what I meant."

"Hee hee. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm honoured that you like having me over, but it'd be nice if you could come visit me a little more often. I think it's cool that we have Saturday cooking lessons at my place, but that's it. So maybe… maybe you could, you know, stop by once in a while?"

Hmmm, Eri's right. Except for Saturdays, I was but a rare visitor to her. Since she's always coming over, it's only fair for me to do the same. I probably might not have the energy to do that as often as she did, but she'd definitely be delighted to have me.

She added as an afterthought, "Um, I have cocoa too."

"Cocoa or no, I'll be there. I'll be intruding on your privacy soon."

"Ha ha ha! That's a cute way to put it, Neku. You're funny." She slipped her hat and coat on, and it was time to go. "Alright, next time you're around, I'll whip up a tempura or two for you."

I matched her warm smile. "Looking forward to it."

She still stood there at the doorstep, looking at me. Waiting. Oh, hang on!

I knew exactly what she wanted. No fumbling from me this time!

So I gave it to her. The nervousness made me feel like there was a whole zoo gone mad in my stomach, but my mind was made up. Her face was so captivating as I approached but she didn't wait long enough for me to appreciate her beauty – she leaned in too. We met in the middle and lost ourselves in a goodnight kiss that was chaste and refreshing. They say you can achieve a whole lot more when you cooperate with someone else, and that holds true for kissing. Neither of us wanted to let go. Ah… synergy was so good.

She broke away eventually and was giddy with delight. "Gosh, Neku," she sighed, "now this… _this_ is more like it. You're finally taking the lead. You're finally doing things the right way."

I spoke for both of us when, fueled by the romantic afterglow, I said, "…We've got to do this more often. Um, that is, if you're cool with it."

"Hee hee. Why not? We're kissing buddies. We're special."

"Eri…" Special, huh… With the way we were, there's no better way to describe us.

"…One more."

"Again?"

"You don't want to?"

"Nah, quite the opposite."

She chuckled. "I figured."

XOXOXOXOXO

Starting from last night, I made sure to take Eri's words to heart. As the guy, it was only natural for me to assume the responsibility for many things. I had to get proactive. Girls are total suckers for proactive guys, right?

So I was at Eri's doorstep with an early morning present. She didn't have classes until much later in the afternoon, so she could afford to sleep in a little longer. Which was just nice, because that gave me plenty of time to prepare something nice for her. My timing couldn't be better: when she answered the door she had just woken up, still rubbing the fuzz out of her eyes.

"Yeah?" she mumbled. "Oh, g'mornin' – eep? !"

She just gaped, all the sleepiness gone in an instant. I had a bouquet of flowers in one hand and in the other I had cake that was freshly bought from a famous bakery in town, and these two I extended towards her.

"Wh-What is this?" stammered the surprised Eri.

Her reaction was simply to die for. I knew she wasn't expecting me to do this so it was all worth it seeing those eyes stretched wide open. Oh boy… now I was getting sheepish, but it's still a nice feeling. It almost felt like I was an actual boyfriend already.

"You said you like it when a guy takes the lead, so… here I am, taking the… uh, lead." I cleared my throat and explained myself further. "Th-Thought you might like flowers and something sweet to munch on in the morning. Here you go. Um… don't be shy."

"Oh Neku, you shouldn't have." To my delight, she beamed like the sun and graciously took them like a film star going on stage to receive an award. "Really, that's so sweet of you. Thankies! And marble cake from J-Frosty's? Ooh, my favourite!"

"That's why I got it."

"You know me so well," she giggled. "What're these flowers, though? I've never seen them before."

"These are chive blossoms," I replied, pointing at the flowers in her bouquet. "Simply put, they're the flowers of a type of onion. You normally use the leaves in cooking, but the flowers are edible too. You know, I could've gotten you roses or tulips or whatever, but I wanted something different from the norm so I sought out a florist that sold chives. They're a nice purple colour too, so I thought you might like them."

In a self-deprecating tone, I added, "Ah, I hope I don't come across as some cheapskate. It's true that chives aren't as expensive, but – "

"No, I rather like them," she said happily. "They're lovely! I was wondering what my living room was lacking and I think these should do the trick, so it's great that you happened to come along… thanks again!"

"Ahaha…" Heh… not bad. They say girls can be difficult to satisfy, but when you hit all the right notes with them? Nothing screams "pro" better than that.

"Neku, come inside! Let's share the cake, you and me!"

I laughed. "Cake for breakfast?"

"Why not? It's cool to be a non-conformist."

"Thanks for the offer, Eri, but I've got classes soon. I gotta dash."

"Really? That's a shame. Well, at least come in for five minutes?"

"I… I'm sorry, I can't. I'm really pressed for time. So I'll see you soon."

"It's that urgent? Well…" She blushed lightly. "How about a nice little kiss to start off the day?"

My heart was all a-flutter. "That, um… O-Okay, I… I don't mind…"

I went to college in extra-high spirits. Even my classmates were openly wondering if something good had happened to me.

XOXOXOXOXO

Neither our relationship nor the kind of feeling I got from it is easy to describe. Even if I tried my best, I wouldn't come anywhere close. It's just the sort of thing you have to experience for yourself to even get the slightest inkling. Hopefully, though, I've given you a glimpse of how we lived out our daily lives as kissing buddies.

It's a strange thing, to be sure. You either start going out with someone or you remain as friends. There's hardly an intermediate stage, but you know Eri: she can make the impossible possible.

And that's fine by me.

...

**Author's note:  
>It's a bit abrupt off the bat, but I'd like to thank everyone who's been keeping tabs on my story up till now... and hot damn, 100 reviews! I may not be as accomplished in the fanfiction community as many others who get a whole lot more reviews than I do, but for me, 100 is an important number and I'm so happy for that.<strong>

**I mean, reviews aren't everything; the most important aspect of writing is having fun, and I certainly am enjoying myself. But getting feedback and constructive criticism is always a welcome bonus. So thank you all so much. If I could give you guys cookies through the PC monitor, I'd do it. Chocolate chip, anyone? XD**

**Meantime, I'm going to be doing some brainstorming on the next major story arc and I want it to go swimmingly, so I'll need a little time for that. It certainly wouldn't be in Chapter 27 but I hope to introduce it by Chapter 28; that'd be great.**

**Until next time, guys. Bye!**

**PS: I haven't actually eaten chive blossoms. I do know about them through cooking articles. If you're interested in giving them a go, MAKE SURE YOU ASK AN EXPERIENCED PERSON ABOUT THEM! Do your research! Don't want you shoving the wrong stuff down your throat and getting diarrhea or worse, right?**


	27. The Gang Gets Together Again

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 27)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Neku, are you free? 'Cause you'd better be. I've got a favour to ask of you."

Eri's voice sounded urgent on the other end of the line. But if she was trying to trick me into carrying shopping bags… well, you know what they say: once bitten, twice shy.

"This better be important, Eri. I had a tiring day at college and I just got back home. I even took a shower."

"Of course it's important!" she said with a strong tone. "No time to lose, buddy. Meet me by the Statue of Hachiko, I'll give you the details then."

"Sounds fishy already…"

"It doesn't matter what you think. Just get here! See ya!"

"Hey, wait a sec!"

But my words fell on deaf ears; she had hung up and all that was left to hear with a beeping tone, taunting me. I'd have to comply with her request, whatever it might be. What sort of shenanigans was she planning to set me up for this time? And in a public place, too. Doubly essential that I kept my guard up at all times.

…Wait! What if… What if she wanted to meet up with me to confirm her feelings for me? Had the moment I'd been yearning for finally come at last? ! If so, it's about time! Been a month and a half without any news from her, and I'd been on my butt waiting for too long! This helped me to drum up my enthusiasm and soon I was not walking through the streets but skipping.

Eri was standing next to the Statue of Hachiko, and as soon as she caught sight of me she beckoned me over. I bounded straight for her like an obedient dog.

"Made it!" I announced. "So, what's going on?"

She just sniggered. "Wait for it…"

"What? W-Wait for what?"

"Aaaaand… now."

"Huh? !"

Suddenly, someone's arm circled around my neck and the grip tightened till it hurt. I was disoriented for the first few moments, but when my assailant started scrubbing my head vigorously, I began to struggle for my life.

"Gah, stop it!" I protested. "Eri! Help me out here!"

But she refused to. She just stood there laughing so hard she was clutching her tummy. What was she doing? ! I was dying here! …Although she was kinda dying herself, from the excessive laughter. "Ha ha ha! It's all worth it seeing that reaction of yours, Neku! It never fails to crack me up!"

Was she in cahoots with my attacker? ! So she was a… a traitor? ! What did I do to deserve this? Was this my punishment for accidentally eating her favourite pudding the other time I was at her house? She did say I could help myself to some snacks in her fridge but it wasn't properly labeled… It's not like I could ever know it was hers!

All of a sudden, I was inexplicably released. I immediately broke away and spun round to face this terrible person with a barrage of obscenities and accusations.

"Hey! What's the meaning of that? ! You damn nearly ripped my head off, you piece of – "

My words died in mid-sentence. There were two people, not one. A boy and a girl.

The girl's giggles sounded like a wind chime. "Long time no see, Neku."

And the boy was just as cheery, even chortling aloud. "You still fall for the ol' noogie, yo. Tha's always a classic!"

These two… I knew them! My anger immediately washed away and was replaced by a growing sense of joy. I didn't even wait for my long-drawn gasp to finish before I practically shouted my greetings at them.

"Holy smoke!" I went. "Beat! Rhyme! How've you been? !"

I hadn't seen these two for a long time. Beat used to be my classmate, while his younger sister Rhyme attended classes in another school. We all used to hang out a lot, and by "we" I mean five of us great musketeers: myself, Eri, Shiki, Beat and Rhyme. Those were some good times. When we graduated from high school we all went different directions in life and didn't see each other much. So it was incredibly exciting to be able to see everyone again after so long.

Shiki had yet to arrive, I was told, so in the meantime, it was the four of us gathered in a nice little group doing a lot of catching up.

"Here on vacation, I see," I noted. "How's Nagoya, you two?"

"It's fun," said Rhyme. "I'm in my final year in high school, preparing for exams, but even then there's never a dull moment… Whoa, what're you up to, Eri?"

The pink-haired one was busy toying with Rhyme's hair like a squealing schoolgirl. "Don't mind me. Hee hee… I just love how your hair is all long and silky."

"I tried growing it out for a change. And I'm glad it turned out well!"

"If I dyed my hair blonde, we could pass off as twins, almost!"

"Ha ha ha! Exactly what I thought!"

Eri was very approving of Rhyme's new look, and so was I. A few years ago she was an innocent little lady who dressed simply. Brands and glitter meant nothing to her. Baggy shirts and cargo pants were her favourites. As long as something fit and it was comfy, it was good enough. Now she was apparently paying more attention to the trends and had transformed herself into a beautiful young woman capable of turning heads. It was a far cry from her in her early youth.

She wasn't the only one who underwent a major makeover, though. There was her big brother too, but…

"What happened to you, Beat?" I said. "You're all pudgy."

All eyes were on him in an instant and he became self-conscious, taking off his beanie to scratch his head. No one I knew liked being called fat, and for a guy who used to have a nice smorgasbord of muscle, this was even more so. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't obese, but he did have a bit of a spare tyre.

"Figured someone would ask me sooner or later," he sighed, although he was slightly amused by all the attention he was getting. He had a very good explanation for his body's current shape. "But see, I'm studyin' to be a chef, right? So I'ma hafta taste my own cooking, and I do a lotta cooking, y'know? I became like this because of that."

I helped him sum things up. "So basically, you've been eating a lot…"

"D-Don't say it like that, man… Makes it sound like I'm fat."

He winced slightly, but it was nothing like the monkey kungfu stances he had a reputation for making when he was exceedingly startled. Ooh, I just thought of the perfect way to get back at him for giving me that terrible hair treatment earlier. This guy had a serious issue with his name; he didn't like his real name being spoken in front of him, insisting that others call him Beat. We all knew about this, and whenever someone said his maiden name within earshot, the whole world would be witness to one of the most comically exaggerated poses ever seen. It's been a while… Time for another look.

"But you _are_ fat… Daisukenojo."

As soon as the last syllable left my mouth, his body twisted into a pretzel shape and he let out an outraged cry that was loud enough to startle the birds away.

"BWAAAAH!"

It was like he was allergic to his own name! Arguably the most hilarious thing ever, it's the sort of stuff you never tire of, like a really good joke. All of us, with the understandable exception of him, fell all over the place laughing.

"Yo! Phones!" he seethed. "Did you _got_ to say that? ! You _know_ it's bedridden, yo! You _know_ it!"

"'Forbidden', dude," I said. "But hey, to put it in your own words, it's always a classic."

"Anything but that, man… Seriously, that ain't cool…"

"Are you still hung up over your own name? It's not that bad, you know… Daisukenojo, I mean – "

"BWAAAH!" Another pose. "Oi! What'd I jus' say, yo? ! R-Rhyme, can't we do something about this guy? !"

"I'm so sorry, Beat," chuckled his sister. "I'm sorry about laughing… But the way your reflexes work is really something else altogether. Even I can't help it."

Eri was in hearty agreement. "It's nice to see that you're still a riot after all this time. Some things never change, eh?"

"What the – ganging up on me? ! Ugh… It's all 'cause of this guy!" He inched towards me, hands poised to grab me again. "You askin' for another round of pain, yo. Get o'er here!"

I tried to get away but he trapped me in another inescapable headlock and my poor head ended up getting butchered again. This time, however, I didn't mind that much.

Amidst the renewed laughter of my friends, I had a flashback that launched me four or five years back into the past. Me and them… We found fun in the silliest things and some might have called us idiots, but at least our school years were interesting and something to look back upon and smile. Now that we're all retired teenagers – okay, maybe not Rhyme yet – life had become a little more serious, so when we goofed around like this it's a welcome change of pace and, for a while at least, we could return to our pubescent years again.

Suddenly, in the midst of the hysterics, we became aware of another voice – a girl's. But it was neither Eri's nor Rhyme's.

"Well, what do we have here?" she said. "The ol' headlock routine… Never gets old, does it?"

I craned my neck in the right direction as best as I could – not easy when your head's already stuck in a difficult position – and I saw her.

"Oh, Shiki!" cried an elated Rhyme. "Gosh, it's been so long since we've seen you!"

"Have I been missing you too!" chirped the bespectacled one. The girls immediately converged upon one another for a three-person group hug. Beat and I didn't join in; this was one of those girl things. We guys just aren't supposed to be so touchy-feely.

Everyone reacted to each other in various ways – some boisterously, others quietly – but one thing was for sure: we were all happy to see that the whole gang was together again. Or to put it in hipper terms, the gang was a gang again.

"Beat, is that you? !" gasped a surprised Shiki, obviously not the only one to notice his weight gain. "You're plump!"

"Huh? I'm a… plum? Whazzat mean, girl?"

"'Plump'," I said. "She said 'plump'."

"Uh-huh, I heard it first time round, yo. What's this about plums?"

"…Never mind."

The fifth and last member to complete our circle of pals was finally here, but I wondered how Shiki would react upon seeing me. When last we met, it was all the way back in the autumn, when she revealed that she had always liked me in a romantic way. I turned her down, and things got a bit awkward between us, so I was afraid it would stay that way too. But as it turned out, everything was alright.

"Hi Neku," she said, handing me a light playful punch to the arm. "Nice to see that your and Beat's homespun brand of slapstick humour hasn't dulled at all. I hope you have insurance for your precious hair though!"

She was more relaxed around me than I thought. Maybe because she had gotten over me? "You don't say… He's good at doing numbers on my head."

Meanwhile, Rhyme was giggling and cultivating a mischievous smile. "Ooh, you two are being real friendly! There are so many things we need to talk about… particularly how you've been getting along!"

And she laid each hand on both of our shoulders. Just when I thought things were finally going back to normal with Shiki, she immediately went into a fit of denial, a staple reaction of hers whenever she was probed about her love life.

"Wh-What are you implying? !" she spluttered, arms spinning like a windmill. "We're… nothing like that… honest."

As Beat looked on in amusement, his sister turned to me. "You're being calm for once, Neku. I really missed your and Shiki's husband-and-wife comedy act."

This caused Shiki to go ballistic again, just as expected. She nudged away from Rhyme's grasp in a hurry and started chiding her. "Hey, what nonsense are you going on now? If something doesn't exist in the first place, then it doesn't. Period!"

Ugh… So it's just as I thought. Shiki still had feelings for me. This would prove to pack my hands full for the rest of the day trying not to give either her or Eri the wrong idea. Sure, she knew that Eri and I had an extra-special friendship thing going on, but I still had to be very careful. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck smack dab in the middle of a tug-of-war between these girls. I'd always longed to be loved by a girl, but this was the first time I had to juggle the affections of two. I already had my fair share of challenges with just one!

Unfortunately, Rhyme didn't want to let up with the teasing. I wasn't embarrassed anymore from things like this, but she was unknowingly making things unbearable for me. It's hard to blame her for wanting to have a spot of harmless fun, but neither she nor Beat knew the full story they had been missing. I should tell them all about it at some point, but for now… seriously… I wished she would stop.

"That's the sort of thing one would say when cornered," she retorted in response to Shiki's defense. "Say, Eri! Mind giving us your two cents' worth on this burning matter?"

"Huh?"

Miss Bubblegum Hair's response was slow and sounded as though she was recovering from a daze. It was slow enough for everyone to take notice.

Rhyme cocked her head to one side in slight puzzlement. "Um, isn't the part where you usually join in the fun? You're not one to miss out on a chance to totally ruffle the feathers of these lovebirds."

"L-Lovebirds…? Uh, r-right. Of course! Ahaha!"

"Eri? Is something up?"

"Huh? Oh, no, it's just… well – ah! Before I forget! We should probably get going, shouldn't we? I'm kinda starving."

"Heck yeah, let's go!" That was Beat. His enthusiastic whooping at the mere mention of food effectively steered the conversation towards a different direction. "C'mon, man, let's all grab a bite already! I'ma need a bowl of ramen the size of a ptera… uh, terro… terractyl… eh, whatever."

I jabbed a guess. "Pterodactyl?"

"Yeah! Whatchu said."

"I'll lead the way!" snapped Eri, who motioned us to march towards the nearest eatery. And so the teasing stopped, much to Shiki's relief I should think, and we were off.

She wasn't the only one whose behaviour had taken a suspicious turn. Normally, as Rhyme herself put it, Eri wouldn't pass up the chance to poke fun at my crush on Shiki. It was always like her to jump on the bandwagon. But now that said crush was gone and she herself hinted that she might have romantic inclinations towards me, there was no gain to be had in teasing me. In fact, she might even be a bit uncomfortable over the constant implications that the siblings were laying on thick.

Our fateful gathering today would be the catalyst for a string of inconvenient events beyond my control… Shiki was in the red corner, and Eri in the blue one. I was the prize. The battle of the sexes had begun.

XOXOXOXOXO

Reunions are best celebrated with food, so that's exactly what we did: we went to a ramen shack. It's no fancy restaurant, but we're all starving students with limited allowance so it'll do. Besides, wasn't it more fitting to dine at the place we often hung out at during our school years?

We sat at a corner table with the siblings on one bench and the rest of us on the other. They insisted that I sit next to Shiki – another one of their tiring jokes – so she had little choice but to sit to my left. Eri was to my right. I was a guy in the soft chewy centre of a girl sandwich – pardon the potentially gross expression.

The conversations went on at a smooth clip. Under normal circumstances we would all be so busy that getting in touch was a luxury, so this was our best chance to talk. We were all curious about what was happening with each other, and so far what we've gathered was that Beat once had a close shave in the kitchen (he nearly had hot oil splashed onto his face), Rhyme was taking part in belly dancing classes, and a streaker had once paid a visit to his college, freaking out everyone on campus. There was no shortage of interesting tidbits to talk about.

"So," said Rhyme, "what have you been up to lately, Eri?"

You could tell Eri was eager to talk. That gleam in her eyes could light up a dark evening. "I broke up with my last boyfriend!" she proclaimed proudly.

The siblings couldn't associate what she just said with this feeling of hers that was almost like… accomplishment. Breakups were supposed to be weepy angry affairs, right? I knew what happened so I understood her sentiments perfectly, but for the rest it was hard to find any shred of reasoning connected to this.

"Oh, um, s-sorry to hear that?"

"Eh, no biggie," shrugged Eri, totally unfazed and happily slurping up more noodles. "He was a real jerk and a control freak. But I dumped his sorry butt and I'm glad he's out of my life. He's so terrible through and through, you know! I even broke my fingernail slapping him!"

"Respect!" said Beat through a mouthful of stuff. "That guy sure got what's comin' to him."

"I know, right?" More noodles went down her gullet with a vengeance. "And that's not all! The whiny idiot tried to return to me even when I was done with him and he was being a real pain about it too! Just wouldn't move on and leave me alone. Luckily though…" – she hooked her hand in the crook of my elbow – "…Neku was with me when it happened, and he shooed him off with style. It was too cool! Ah… If only you were there to see the drama unfold."

"Whoa," I gulped, growing shy, "it wasn't that big a deal…"

There was a short strange pause that a less observant person would fail to notice. The other three picked up on something and Beat spoke up to reflect their thoughts.

"Hold up. You two were together? What were you doing, man?"

Uh-oh… I had a bad feeling about this… Beat and Rhyme were fierce fans in the Neku X Shiki camp. Ever since our school days they'd been trying everything in their power to hook me up with our myopic friend. I wondered what they would think if they knew I was spending more time with her more outgoing friend…

…who, by the way, replied, "Oh, Neku and I went shopping for food."

No one was quite sure what to make of this. Rhyme treaded carefully and rather awkwardly at that too, "F-For food, huh? Buying your TV dinners in bulk again?"

The truth would come out in a few more seconds, I knew, and I was afraid there would be repercussions… Shiki already didn't look very comfortable. And I could foresee myself getting interrogated later by the siblings while wedged in Beat's infamous headlock. That wouldn't be fun. Like I said, these two were fierce fans…

Eri was most eager to tell the whole story. "No, it's nothing like that. Neku was going to teach me how to cook that morning, so we had to first get all the ingredients."

"R-Really? You're learning how to cook?"

Then everyone turned to look at me in one unanimous movement, making me feel like an escaped criminal caught in a police spotlight.

"From him?"

Oblivious to the stuffy atmosphere that was growing at our table, Eri continued to gush about our Saturday activities and how fond she was of them.

"Neku here is my Sensei! I learn a lot from him. Thanks to his guidance, I can cook some decent dishes and not have people puke all over the place! Ha ha ha! Really, I gotta thank ya, Neku. You're so nice!"

When she squeezed my arm, I thought I felt part of my soul being ebbing away with it. Was this a sense of betrayal that I was getting from Beat and Rhyme? They glanced from her to me and her again… well, mostly me, with a suspicious questioning air. I seriously thought either of them was going to jump up in protest and shout, "How dare you! You traitor!" I wanted to be openly proud of my friendship with Eri, but it didn't seem like these two were going to give me that privilege!

And what of Shiki? I had to give her credit for gluing that smile on her face and playing along even though she must be bristling with jealousy. There was a dark cloud hanging over the group and Eri was the only one who couldn't see it.

Ugh… This was a nightmare!

I had to change the topic fast! "Ah, right! I totally forgot! A-About this, um, I mean… We should all stop by WildKat if we get the chance! Mr H has some new dishes on sale! Might be worth a look? Right?"

"Fo' real, yo? ! Why didn'tchu tell me earlier, man? !"

Food was Beat's kryptonite. Say it aloud in front of him and he drops whatever he is doing or thinking. I knew this was an effective way to bend the conversation elsewhere and get myself off the hook… for now. By the time the topic had grown stale I'd hopefully have thought of a more long-term solution.

"I sure would love to see Mr H again," quipped Rhyme. "He's a nice guy."

"_An'_ his menu is tops! Damn, I missed it too long."

Okay, good. This was going to work. Just need to crawl out of the frying pan –

"Ooh, yes, splendid idea!" agreed Eri. "It's been a while since I last went there, Neku! I wonder if that old guy – Mr H, I think? – still thinks we're dating?" The rest of us stiffened like wood, but I stiffened the hardest. "Hee hee… Well, since we're kinda sorta might be dating, maybe he'll give us his blessings! That'd be awesome."

– and into the fire! Gah!

The jaws of both Beat and Rhyme dropped like a sack full of rocks. Shiki's mouth remained intact but I had no idea how long that courteous smile would stay on.

Why, Eri, why? ! The Neku X Shiki fanatics would be out for my blood!

Rhyme decided enough was enough and cut right to the chase. "Eri? You and Neku are… dating? News to me. Care to explain?"

"Oh, um… strictly speaking, I'm not sure you could really say we're dating… I mean, all we do is hang out a lot."

"Is that it? I see…"

They didn't seem very convinced but looked like they'd leave it be for now. It wasn't going to give me a good night's sleep, but at least I could buy myself some time. But I couldn't even breathe my sigh of relief completely before Eri ruined things and brought me crashing back to square one.

"Ah! We may not be going out but there are some things we do outside of our normal friendship stuff, like taking baths together and washing each other's backs from time to time!"

DESPAIR! ! !

The air became so thick I could drown in it. Beat and Rhyme weren't going to let me go after this! And while Shiki would eventually have to face the truth that Eri and I were gradually inching towards a steady relationship, this wasn't the way I wanted to break it to her… This was way too jarring even for a jolt of reality.

The longer I stayed here with everyone the closer to death I would be, so I took this as my cue to leave and get the heck out. I had to go. Maybe emigrate to Fiji or somewhere and stay there for a few months to wait for the fuss to die down. The Bito family were not to be messed with!

"O-Oh my! Look at the time!" I squawked unconvincingly. "L-Look at the time indeed… Uh, I just remembered that I've got, um, a load of errands to take care of! Sorry, but I'll be leaving now!"

"But we just got here," protested Eri, "and you haven't even finished your ramen!"

"I'm awfully sorry, guys. It's really urgent! My aunt needed me to collect a few things, and deliver some others, and… stuff. Yeah. So I gotta dash. But we could meet up again if it's cool with you guys?"

"That's a shame," said Shiki. "But I guess it can't be helped. And, well, we did spring this whole reunion thing on you so suddenly. Shall we get together again tomorrow? Then we can enjoy ourselves proper."

Rhyme was bursting at the seams with questions for me and so was her brother (albeit to a lesser extent – he was more interested in the noodles for the time being), but there was nothing either could do. I could get away for a while.

"If Neku really can't stay," she muttered with veiled defeat, "then let's call it a day after this. We can always do this again tomorrow, and some!"

Fine by me. Tomorrow, I'd tell everything about myself and Eri, but just because I wasn't going to hide anything didn't mean I should be careless. A single slip-up with my words, and everyone might think I was a playboy wannabe who ditches longtime crushes in favour of the next hot chick.

They told me they would decide when it was best for this posse of pals to gather again and added that they would text me the details later. If I was cool with the timing and everything then we'd be good to go. I was soon scurrying out of my seat. Here's hoping with all of my fingers crossed that Eri wouldn't say anything stupid that would pave a harder path for me down the road.

"Catch you later!" I called.

"Phones! Hold up, man!"

"Yeah? What's up, Beat?"

He pointed at my bowl innocently. "If you're not gonna finish your ramen, can I have it?"

The girls found this most repulsive and immediately broke out into a chorus of "ugh's" and "eew's", with his sister in particular chiding him. "_Beat!_"

But he couldn't care less about his audience. "Dude, I just don't like wastin' stuff. Be a bit more slothful, yo."

"It's '_thoughtful_'!" Rhyme didn't correct him as gently as usual for once.

I just chuckled. "It's yours if you want it, Beat. Go nuts." Then I turned and waved over my shoulder at the group as I left. Judging from the renewed sounds of disgust the girls were making behind me, I'd hazard a guess he was already happily tucking into my bowl.

XOXOXOXOXO

Let's fast forward the story a fair bit and use the next day as a starting point. I don't really want to go too much into the details of how I spent the remainder of my free time thinking about all the possible questions the siblings would be sure to fire at me point-blank.

I should try and put all that behind me for now. It's a beautiful day, our spirits were up, and even the Statue of Hachiko where we had gathered around was looking extra peppy… for a statue. Today, we had three things on our agenda that we intended to accomplish:

1. Have fun  
>2. Have fun, and<br>3. Have fun.

There'd be food and karaoke and when we were pooped we need only hop into the nearest bathhouse to feel like new people again. This was going to be delightful.

"Ah, life is good!" said Eri. Truer words couldn't have been spoken.

Beat didn't take long to do a head count and was satisfied to see that all were present. "Alright, let's do this! Let's get started right away! I'm starvin' like a boss!"

"You always are," laughed Rhyme. "Well, fret not, bro. First stop on our list is WildKat just like we discussed yesterday."

Shiki wondered aloud, "Haven't heard from Mr H these days. Is he still single?"

Eri was sniggering and nudging her friend in the arm. "Why? Have you been fostering a hidden interest in the guy? I get that stubble can be sexy…"

"You misunderstand." Our glasses-wearing friend was chuckling and not one bit put out. "If he's still single at this ripe old age, he probably wouldn't want us asking about it. So let's all refrain from doing that."

'Ripe old age'? Ouch…

At any rate, we found a table at WildKat, and Mr H himself – who usually stayed behind the counter – emerged from his comfort zone to personally come over and greet us. As he was a perpetually busy man, he couldn't stay to talk for long, but what few precious minutes we had with him were a lot of fun. He had always been an easy person to talk to. We just made sure to stay away from touchy topics like his age and his aforementioned bachelorhood (which, for the record, was still going strong).

"So you're working hard to become a chef? That's swell, Beat." His mouth stretched into his famous lazy grin. "Whatcha looking to cook in the future when you graduate? French cuisine? I've always fancied a good _omelette du fromage_."

"Om-uh-late… doo… what? Whazzat? I don't get yer big words, man."

"Cheese omelette," replied Mr H kindly. "That's the meaning of _omelette du fromage_. It's good stuff."

But our skater friend was slow, and he wasn't even doing it for comedy's sake. "_Omelette du fromage_ means good stuff? And where does cheese omelette fit in, yo?"

"Ha ha ha! Never mind. I'm just glad to see everyone again. Anyway, I'd love to chat some more, but I got a business to run. We might have a good hour talking if you can come visit me during my free time, though."

"When's that?" asked Eri.

"Oh, heck, even I don't know. I'm always running around busy. Though I reckon the ten minutes I've got before I go to bed should do just fine." This earned him a round of laughter from our group. Man, I wished I could be this funny! He's awesome. Alas, he had to get back to work.

Our seating arrangement was a lot more flexible this time around because we were at a round table. My nearest neighbours were still Shiki to my left and Eri to my right but with more breathing room for myself – both literal and figurative – at least I didn't feel as trapped as before. Hooray for round tables!

Anyway, we were just doing a lot of chatting and basically having a good time of it. When we gradually started talking about the three of us – myself, Eri and Shiki – that was when I knew the ride was going to get a bit rougher. The going would be slow and steady at first, but in moments I knew I'd appreciate the value of mental seat belts.

Rhyme pitched us the first of several questions. "So… Shiki, Eri… you two are still working together on the fashion thing, aren't you?"

"Oh yes!" Eri's eyes were like embers. The fire of her love for fashion was burning brightly. "We're cranking out ideas and designs like crazy. Shiki's got one heck of a creative bone in her body. We've got a whole set of clothes that she made all on her own straight from the conceptual stage through to the end product, and they're simply to die for! Is that cool or what? !"

This was news to me. I always thought Eri was the brains and Shiki the brawn with a thread and needle. Looked like something had tickled the latter's sense of creativity somewhere along the line.

"Whoa, you're into designing now?" I raised my eyebrows high. "That's impressive, Shiki."

"You blow things out of proportion, guys," she laughed. "You're still the bomb when it comes to clothes, Eri."

"But you've got some really nifty handiwork in your portfolio," said her partner-in-crime. "For example, that dominatrix corset-cum-crop top! I didn't even know it was possible to modify it into stuff you can wear in public but you did it! And gosh, it looked so hot on you! I was squealing for days."

"Eri! D-Don't bring that up!"

The rest of us sucked away all of the air in the café in a unanimous gasp. Who was this person claiming to be Shiki? Our shy little lady was making leather fetish outfits… or to be exact, converting them into street wear? That's the kind of stuff Eri would make up to play pranks on people, but it didn't seem so out there this time. If this was the truth, then the duckling was turning into a swan…

"Hot damn, girl!" whistled Beat approvingly. "You sure got skills to pay the bills! So, those clothes you made… Any chance we can see you in it?"

Eri gave him a cheeky nudge in the elbow. "Ooh, interested, are we? I'm not surprised you are! If I were a guy, I'd be totally clamouring to catch a glimpse too!"

All the attention that was now focused on Shiki made her feel bashful, although I could see that she was secretly happy. She had ever confided in me that she was hopeless at brainstorming for clothing ideas, so apparently she had learnt a thing or two somewhere and now she was picking up. Given how she used to struggle with it, I'd say she deserved the praise for coming this far.

It was always like her to stay humble about her achievements, however. "Cut it out, guys. You're making me blush."

"Oi, Phones," laughed Beat, "what about you, man? You wanna take a peek too?"

When Shiki heard this, she nearly choked on her juice and started spouting like a kettle, "No way! I… This… It's too embarrassing to wear it in front of, well, anyone… let alone him – no, I mean…"

Eri rose to the occasion, speaking with genuine innocence, "Shiki, you don't need to worry! Neku's a decent guy so you'll be alright. Even though he gets nosebleeds a lot, he'd never lay a finger on you. In fact, I do more teasing than he does."

Uh-oh. This was the beginning of the end.

Rhyme stared at us blankly for a second or two. And then, "Eri? Y-You tease him? Like, always?"

"Sure I do! It's too much fun! Just the other day all I did was surprise him with a big hug, and he got this ridiculous nosebleed. He was positively gushing all over the place and it was freaking hilarious!"

So now it was official that Eri and I shared a lot of skinship together. The looks of suspicion returned to the faces of Shiki and the Bitos. They must be wondering what I had been up to that sounded a lot like the kind of things couples did. It's cold comfort that she didn't elaborate on the circumstances surrounding that incident – I'll just say she got naked as a prank and leave it at that.

Rhyme muttered, "You're being awfully friendly with Neku, aren't you…"

"Sure I am! We're buddies, you know? Like, ki– "

"Kindred spirits!" I shrieked in the nick of time, before she could say 'kissing buddies'. "We're just close, see? ! Ahaha…"

To complicate matters further, blood dribbled out of my nose for no reason. Why did these things happen to me? !

Eri deftly grabbed a tissue and began dabbing my nose clean, all the while cooing, "Menstruating through your nose again, Neku? Where would you be without me and my tissues? Hee hee!"

"I-I'm fine. I can handle this myself."

"Well, so long as you don't die," she chuckled. "I wouldn't be able to spend the night at your place anymore if you kick the bucket from blood loss."

With every new detail that Eri unwittingly slipped out, the darker the clouds around us grew. But that last bit took the cake, and I was treated to a rousing performance of gasps from the rest of the gang. Beat sprung to his feet like elastic – a reflex action, I assure you – and bellowed so loudly that no one could ignore the guy who looked like he was doing one of those flashy moves from _The Matrix_. Now there was even more unwanted attention directed at us. Gee, thanks a bunch, Beat!

I thought things couldn't get any worse than this but I was wrong.

This time even Shiki, who had been keeping quiet, had to shoot tough questions at me. The suspense must have been turning her inside-out.

"Neku… Eri… Do you two, um… sleep? Like, together? ? ?"

I couldn't get out one word before Eri answered for me. "Sure!"

Beat and Rhyme had faces full of betrayal and incredulity. Oh boy, they weren't going to let me off easily now. The world didn't end with me. The world was ending!

"S-Sleepover!" I squawked hurriedly. "It's just a sleepover! She always crashes at my place! And she always uses a different room from mine!"

A slightly indignant Eri didn't like how I was trying to bend the truth and saw the need to correct me. "Hey, what about all those times when we share your bed, hmmm? Do those not count at all?"

"Wait… that's not what I…!" Please don't make things more difficult than they already were, idiot!

I wasn't the only one feeling the burn. Shiki was fiddling uncomfortably in her seat, looking this way and that as though searching for an exit. In her desperation to relieve herself from the heavy atmosphere, she got up from her seat abruptly like a rocket launching into space, and said, "Ah! I think I w-will… I have to! Go! To the… to the… yeah, the washroom! Be… Be right back!"

"Oh, I'll tag along," offered Eri. "I need to redo my makeup."

Her words, however, fell on deaf ears: Shiki had already vanished. Boy, was she fast! With both girls gone I was left to swim with the fishes… as well as Beat and Rhyme, who spared not a second more and set to work giving me a thorough cross-examination.

Rhyme almost never had harsh words for anyone, but today she didn't give me any mercy. "I thought you were a good man who's devoted to Shiki, but to see that you're not above playing with other girls… It's quite an unpleasant thing to see, coming from you."

Those were some scathing remarks, but I knew they only made these accusations because they grossly misunderstood the situation. A whole year had gone by since we last saw the Bito siblings, and that was more than enough time for so many things to happen. No one had updated them on what's been rocking our lives here in Shibuya. I guess it's time they knew everything and it was up to me to tell them.

Thing is, this girl wouldn't give me a chance to speak. She just went on and on, like one of those looping songs you hear while doing your shopping in the supermarket.

"…weird when you didn't get nosebleeds around Shiki like you usually did… And you look like you two are enjoying each other's company, which would've been fine in itself if it wasn't so, you know, suggestive. If you like Shiki that much, don't you think you should invest more of your time and energy in building up a relationship with her?"

"Guys," I began, "listen… You both got the wro– "

"And here you are, sleeping together with Eri! That's just – "

"Oi! We don't have sex! Geez!"

I was as exasperated as I was embarrassed, but tried to stay calm… as calm as a guy with a history of a temper could possibly get, anyway. Before they could point more daggers at me, I cut them off. I was curt about it too, but had no time for niceties.

"Look," I grumbled. "Just shut your traps for one minute and listen. I've got something to say and I'm going to get straight to the point."

And that's exactly what I did.

"I'm not… pursuing Shiki anymore. Lots of things happened, and… well, it's Eri I'm going after now."

This piece of news hit them in the face so hard I almost thought I could hear the sound of its impact. And then came the inevitable wave of confusion. Perhaps because of his eternal struggle with grammar, Beat had trouble putting his thoughts to words quickly, but the more eloquent Rhyme had no problems launching an all-out assault of questions at me.

"What do you mean?" she asked. "Why would you give up on Shiki, and go for Eri instead? It makes little sense! I'm not letting you go until we hear it from the horse's mouth!"

Beat gave a forceful nod. "That's right, yo! …I didn't know you keep horses, though."

"…That's just an expression, Beat."

At their insistence, I gave them a very brief rundown of the events that happened here while they were in Nagoya. I touched on some key points: that Shiki had found herself a boyfriend, and how, over time, I was won over by Eri's kindness. Two more important things: after Shiki broke up with said boyfriend, she confessed to me, but I turned her down; and I let Eri know that I loved her, but hadn't received a concrete answer from her as of yet. By the end of my summary, they knew more or less what was happening.

"Yo Phones," said Beat quietly. "So you in love with Eri now? You're serious about her?"

"I am. I hope this part has been made clear, at least."

"Eri, huh…" His sister was stroking her chin. "Well, she certainly is nice, but – "

But what? I wanted to know what her thoughts held. Just then, however, the girls returned from the bathroom, and we dropped the topic right away, tagging it as "to be continued". Shiki was looking a lot better, while Eri was still her usual self, happy-go-lucky with a tune humming under her breath. What did they talk about back in there? Did Shiki ask Eri about her relationship with me too? Whatever the case may be, I hoped my old crush didn't end up too heartbroken.

Because after all, it may be a bit cruel, but it still boiled down to one or the other. You can't expect me to go out with two girls at the same time…

XOXOXOXOXO

Karaoke has a way of giving you the sort of high that makes you keep going. Once the fun sinks in you don't want to quit. We were all busy trying to be the next idol… except Beat, who purposely messed up his lyrics and even sang off-key at times to ratchet up the comedy factor. It was a real riot.

But eventually we had to leave when fatigue got the better of us, which was why we were now at the nearest public bathhouse.

The bath areas were simple concrete-and-tile rooms, with none of the decorations you'd find in a more exotic onsen like rocks and bamboo. And of course, this bathhouse was a lot smaller. It couldn't hold a candle to Teppeki Inn, but if you weren't fussy and just needed a good soak, it'd do.

There were no mixed baths either, so we had to split up. Too bad… I was hoping to enjoy a little scrubbing down of my back by Eri's masterful hands. But now there was no chance to get inside her – n-no, I mean, get inside _the bath_ with her! Yeah. That's… That's what I meant to say.

"Dude," said Beat, his frown deep and quizzical, "what's with you, yo? Your face is all red."

"I-It's the heat!" I spluttered. "The heat of the water!"

"But we not even in the bath yet… Oi, you better not be thinkin' weird stuff about my sis, y'hear? 'Cause that's not cool."

"I… I'm not! C'mon, gimme a break here."

The bath was divided into two sections: one for men and the other for women. There was a wall that separated these sections and it was a thick concrete one with no visible holes to peek through, so voyeurs-to-be would be heavily disappointed. It didn't, however, reach all the way to the ceiling; there was a sizable gap at the top, presumably to improve ventilation or some other similar purpose, so it was possible to eavesdrop on people on the other side.

As soon as Beat and I settled for a spot against the partition, we became aware of the gals, who were excitedly engaged in one of their "girl conversations" like a bunch of noisy birds. It wasn't very long before they began to talk about something a bit more risqué… so I'll share with you what we heard, whether it interests you or not.

"Rhyme!" That was Eri, wasn't it? "Oh my god, what did you do to yourself?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"What have you been eating? Is there anything special you've been doing? Or some kind of forbidden magic ritual you've dabbled in?"

"…I'm afraid I don't quite follow."

"Okay, fine. I'll be direct: how in the world did you cultivate those melons? ! I could've sworn you were a little on the flat side last year. But now you're… oh god, what's this, a growth spurt?"

"Wh-Whoa, don't talk about that here! W-We're not the only ones here, and – "

"You're one of those late bloomers, I see… Not that it's a bad thing as long as the size is good… How big are they anyway?"

"Wh-Wha…? They're nothing unusual… D-Don't make such a fuss about them, Eri."

"Oh, you! What's so bad about comparing sizes? It's not a crime!"

"Um… c-can we just talk about something else, ple– _hyaaah!_ What're you doing? !"

"I just wanna touch them a bit. Is that okay?"

"No!"

"Okay, here I come!"

"Eri! I said no! No means no…!"

"…which means yes in Japan. So back to where I left off…"

"W-Wait, stop it? !"

"_You_ stop it! Moving about, I mean. I can't get a good feel of these things if you keep flailing like that! Shiki, give me a hand here, will you? Just… keep her from escaping."

"No! Shiki, help me! Stop her from – !"

But there was a cruel twist in store for our poor friend. "I'm truly sorry, Rhyme," said a solemn Shiki, "but I'm just as curious as she is, so… I'm just going to restrain you a bit. It wouldn't hurt, I promise. Oh, and sorry again."

"Aargh! Stop it, I tell you! The boys can hear us from – _get your hands off of me! ! !_"

No kidding, Rhyme. We could hear every single thing from our side… and you're not helping matters yourself. Beat and I exchanged weird glances, growing rather hot in the face piecing together the most likely scenario that must be happening.

"Dude," he said, "I told you it ain't cool to go fantasizin' about my sis. Stop it, yo."

"I'm… I'm not thinking about Rhyme! What is with you? !"

"You got a nosebleed, man."

"That's because I'm thinking about someone else!"

"Someone else?"

I realized a little late that I had said something bold. He'd usually be sure to follow it up with a joke about my love life, but he kept himself in check this time. That old humour wouldn't work anymore. Things were different now.

He took a guess. "Thinkin' about Eri?"

Seeing as he had become a lot more reasonable after knowing the truth, I felt that I could be more honest with him. Ah, how I waited for the day when I needn't dodge questions and hide facts anymore!

So I admitted it readily. "Yeah…"

There were a few seconds of silence as I waited for his reply, which would turn out to be nothing smart.

"So d'ya have times when you, um, think about her naked too?"

"Huh? !"

What the heck was he – hang on. That was a strange thing to blurt out of the blue, but right now we're a couple of cool guys having guy talk (strictly no girls allowed!) so I thought, well, it's normal to discuss about things like this. I decided I wouldn't lie with him. Maybe there'd be benefits from forging a bond between manly men.

In a hushed voice, I admitted, "I, uh… I've _seen_ her naked, actually," – when I saw his mouth grew three times wider I hastily added – "but that's because we were taking a bath! I swear we didn't get into any sort of hanky-panky – "

"What? !" He went nuts with his trademark pose again. "Oi, that's hanky enough for panky! Takin' baths with Eri? ! What the hell! ! !"

"H-Hang on! She was the one who – ow ow ow!"

This time it was his trademark headlock he went nuts with. My poor head. "Damn! You sure know how to get the goods, huh? ! You lucky bas– "

All of a sudden he stopped. Maybe he'd stumbled upon one of those "I just thought of something" moments. He let me go and gave his two cents on the whole thing.

"Phones," he said seriously, "you're pretty lucky."

I did my best to be cautious, although by "cautious" you could say I really meant "careless". "Why? Because I saw her naked?"

"Well, yeah, that's one thing…" Props to him for being so honest… "…but no, what I'ma mean is you're lucky 'cause you two are close. Like, really close. See, it ain't easy to find good friends, 'specially if they're friends you wanna go out with eventually. Know what I'm sayin'?"

"…Yeah, I know what you mean." I couldn't agree with him more.

"If you're really serious about her, I'ma give you my support, Phones."

"Really?" This made for a nice surprise. "For real? You wouldn't grill me with questions about Shiki anymore?"

"Grill? What'd you mean, man? D'ya think you look like a barbecue? Be serious here!"

"…That's not what I meant by grilling, dude, but never mind."

"When you told us you're gunnin' for Eri, I was all, 'What? !'" He broke into a short laugh. "Because you always been tryin' to hook up with Shiki, you know? But I guess when things happen, they happen. So if Eri's gonna be your squeeze, then heck, I'm all for it."

That was good news to me! Beat just gave me his blessings. I knew he wasn't a bad guy. Sure, he was slow on the uptake and prone to giving up on thinking if things got too complex for his head, but it's precisely because he had a simple way of looking at life that he could quickly tell what's fine and what's not. And he certainly didn't see anything wrong with me going out with Eri.

Now I just needed Rhyme's okay and the Bito siblings would be covered for life. And of course, there's Shiki. But one thing at a time like I was always told as a kid. I had to gain their trust for both myself and Eri, but there's no rush to do it all in one day. I'll do it a little at a time…

"Thanks, Beat. Glad to know you're on my side. Just… no more teasing from now on, okay? The truth is out and I'm clean, so there's nothing to make fun of anymore."

"Aight," he said with a broad grin. "Don't worry, man, we cool! We're pals! So you got my word. Oh, by the way… so… about you and Eri…"

"Yes?"

He leaned closer to whisper to me, like we were collaborators in a dastardly scheme.

"How often d'ya take baths together, yo?"

I gulped. "Huh? ! Why'd you – "

"C'mon, I wanna know. I wanna know how you manage to do it."

"Do what? !"

He snapped impatiently, "Get her outta her clothes, of course! What else? How do you get so damn lucky and stuff? !" His persistence was starting to get a little frightening…

"I… I don't really have an answer to that…" I just get swept up in Eri's whims… "Look, I don't want to sound mean, but talking about this is really weird – "

"Oi! I thought we friends, yo. You're scoring it big with the hottest girl in our school and you think you can jus' keep all the details to yo'self? Not fair, yo. Don't be so stingy! C'mon, man! Out with it!"

"Ow! Beat, not so tight, alright? ! That hurts!" Why did I have to be subject to another headlock? !

As he rained hell upon my precious orange mane yet again, my ears caught snippets from the women's section.

"Holy snap, Rhyme! Those bazongas are the real deal! It's got to be at least a C! How'd you grow two cup sizes in a year? !"

"E-Eri, please stop…!" The poor girl's voice was wavering.

"Shiki and I are only B's! I don't accept this!"

XOXOXOXOXO

Some "relaxing" bath that turned out to be! Tensions ran high on both sides if anything! Ah well, aside from my brutally messed-up hair, everything turned out just great. Even when the vending machine was taking extra-long to cough up my soda I was feeling good. Maybe because I was happy to have friends. At this rate, I could go out with Eri without having to worry about whether I was allowed to.

I gradually became aware of the presence of someone approaching. It was Rhyme, looking totally worn out. Who wouldn't be when two of your best friends ganged up on you for some tag-team chest groping? Must have been torture for her.

"Rhyme!" I called. "Need a drink?"

"No, it's fine," she mumbled. "What I need is… psychotherapy."

"No kidding. I heard your screams all the way from the other side."

"You what? ! Ugh… Try and forget that." Easier said than done…

There was a loud clunk from the vending machine and I fished my soda out. I noticed that she was staring at me like she had something to say.

I popped the can open. "Do you want a drink after all?"

"No, I'm good. I need to talk to you about something, though."

"Oh, sure… Go on."

"Alright, see…" Didn't look like she was going to make nice with me, from her shifty body language. She clutched the back of her neck, apparently to restrain herself. And when she spoke, it was with a lot of caution. "It's about Eri. Just so we're all clear, you're not joking when you said you want to go out with her… are you?"

"I'm not joking one bit. Why?"

"It's just… okay, if I have to put it bluntly, she isn't exactly girlfriend material."

I was taken aback by what she said. Was she trying to tell me that Eri would make a terrible choice for a girlfriend? That's simply absurd… People had yet to see how far she'd come. She was the best friend in the world and would make an even better girlfriend. I would have challenged Rhyme's logic in a heartbeat, but figured it'd be more prudent to hear her out completely first.

"Neku, you're probably familiar with Eri's habit of getting a new boyfriend every few months and then dumping them when she gets tired of them…"

"There's a reason for that," I countered. "She never had any luck with guys, so she always ended up with terrible ones. They had serious issues, I was told… She'd have to be a total masochist to stand being with them for more than three months."

"Of course she'd tell you that." Rhyme displayed a frown that suggested I was being stupid. "Don't you think it'd be a more likely scenario if she just plain gets fed up with guys too quickly? Even you have to see that something's wrong here."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What I couldn't believe even more was that Rhyme was saying it! Sure, even friends can form opinions both good and bad of other friends, but she didn't even sound like she was the slightest bit supportive of Eri.

There was more disappointment in store for me. "And another thing. Don't you think her behaviour around you is highly inappropriate? She's practically fawning over you in public, and that's just the start!"

"She's just being playful as usual. There's no harm in that…"

"Sure, I get that. But getting drunk and crashing at your place at least three times a week? Walking around in your house in her underwear like the place belongs to her? Taking baths with you and sleeping in the same bed… Look, I know Eri's famous for being lovably batty, but this is a bit too much. People just don't do things like that…"

At this point I began to grow quite incensed. "Hey, we're the best of friends, me and her. We're very close, so even when she's being her usual crazy self, I don't particularly mind. Really, I'm cool with it."

Rhyme wasn't convinced. "I still think it's hardly normal for anyone to act like she does."

"Then think what you want." I was starting to get fed up of her bashing our own friend. "Why make such a fuss anyway?"

"I'm trying to help you here! I just don't want you to pursue the wrong person for a relationship and regret it later. Eri is a good pal, but a good girlfriend? I wouldn't be so sure about that… You had a perfectly viable candidate for a lover in Shiki. You two would have been great together. Perfect, even… I have no idea what happened along the way."

"Look, I'm happy you're concerned, Rhyme, but I'm not going to budge. I really love Eri and I want to go steady with her. I'm a fortunate guy to have ever fallen in love with a nice girl like Shiki, but right now Eri's the one for me."

And that's that. Of course Rhyme and I still couldn't see eye to eye on this but the big decision was ultimately mine to make. She resigned herself to my stubbornness and finally brought our debate to a close, much to my relief.

"Alright, Neku. Point taken. Just be sure you know what you're doing. That's all I'm asking."

That was all I'd get from her for the evening. She turned and walked away, leaving me to mull over her so-called words of wisdom. Seriously, what's up her butt? She wouldn't be giving me two thumbs up like her brother did… Not anytime soon anyway…

I just stood there, sipping my soda and thinking a lot. On one hand, it was easy to call Rhyme a dog in the manger because of how unwilling she was to recognize and allow me the pleasure of chasing after Eri. But on the other hand, she was probably just giving me a friendly warning about love: that I should be careful, and that I should pick someone who'd complement my personality, and all the rest of that. As for me, I was just going to do as I wished because I _knew_ what I was doing. Can't please everyone, that's for sure.

As I was minding my own business, I happened to glance down the corridor, in the opposite direction that Rhyme went. There was a bend here, and round the corner I could've sworn I saw some movement. Was someone watching me? Curious, I sneaked over…

Hiding just out of sight behind the corner was Eri, her back against the wall. Her posture was bent into a slouch and her head hung so low she didn't notice me until I was right beside her. That was when she looked up at me with a dismal expression. She startled me just by showing up there but I quickly noticed how sad she looked. I was struggling with a split-second decision to ask why she was so or lift her spirits with a quick one-liner. But she spoke first.

"Oh, Neku. Um… sorry."

"Huh? For what?"

She bit her lip. "…I was around. I happened to overhear your talk with Rhyme."

Oh man… Every word? Goodness, it must have been dreadful for her to listen to everything. I had to say something… anything to put her at ease.

"Ah, well… d-don't mind too much about it, Eri! Actually, I told the Bitos about all the fun stuff we've been doing. Frankly, I wanted to brag about it, you know? I hope you don't mind… Anyway, Rhyme didn't seem to think it was that cool, but hey! It's just one person's opinion. Besides, I don't think she was – "

Eri's hand dove for the hem of my shirt, her fingers clutching tightly. She reminded me of one of those kindergarteners who went to school for the first time, scared and daunted by the thought of being without their parents in a new environment.

The corridors were empty with no one else around to disturb us, so she poured out her woes on me. "Neku," she said quietly, "I'm… I'm kind of a bother, aren't I? Tell me honestly."

My heart reeled. This was a girl who had buckets of self-confidence and now she was reduced to a shadow of herself. I remember how much my soul ached watching her cry. Never again did I wish to see her sad again. I had been careful with my words and actions ever since then and I did a good job of it if I did say so myself. But it's a different story now; it's something I had no control over that was at fault.

I grasped her by the shoulders with a grave urgency to prove her wrong. "Eri, don't even suggest that! You're never a bother to me! I'm always so happy when you are around."

"Listen… I can't help being playful, so I'm always messing with you. But she makes it sound like what I'm doing is a crime."

Uh-oh… That's the face of someone on the verge of crying. And sure enough, by the next sentence, tears were welling up.

"Is it so wrong for me to crack jokes and pay the occasional prank? Maybe my sense of humour is a bit too sexy for some but I don't think it's _that_ bad… I mean, it's hardly grounds to imply that I'm a tramp or something! What is she trying to say? That I'm easy and go round sleeping with people just because I clown about like I do? ! That's not fair!"

It's true that Rhyme went too far. Eri's frame was shaking and her shoulders jerked with each sniffle. I felt sorry for her and fished out some tissues to dab the tears away.

"I just want to be myself!" she wailed. "So why can't I? ! Is that so wrong? I want to be able to do what I like with my best friend at least… I know I shouldn't care about what others think but it still hurts. No one has the right to say who you or I should hang out or even go out with, or how I should go about my daily business!"

Her throat became too choked up for her to continue talking and she just wept into my chest as I held her close. There had to be something I could say so that her smile would come back… and not a moment too soon. The longer this went on the worse I'd feel. I forced the gears of my brain to go into overdrive and finally settled on a good one.

"Eri," I said, "I think this is all terrible too. If I were you, I'd feel the same way. But… don't you think you should listen to your own words?"

She raised her head weakly and I saw confusion in her watery eyes. "Huh?"

"You said it yourself… 'I shouldn't care about what others think'. Your take on life may be different from Rhyme's but that doesn't mean you have a 'wrong' lifestyle and that hers is 'right'."

"…B-But everyone seems to think I'm not… normal."

And to that I countered, "Who has the right to decide what's normal and what's not? If you keep forcing yourself to be 'normal' as others might suggest, you're just gonna end up with a big headache because everyone's views on normality is different. Seriously, don't even bother."

There's this piece of advice I gave Shiki some years back, and now it was time to pass it on to Eri. I didn't really remember it word for word anymore, and I had to make a few changes here and there to fill in the gaps, but the gist of it remained.

"You can't ever be anyone else, Eri, and you should be proud of that. You behave the way you do because you're you. Nobody can take that privilege away from you. If you're, so to speak, a… I dunno, an apple, and the general notion is that everyone should be a cucumber to be cool, then to heck with it. Just carry on being an apple! See what I mean?"

…I sure had to fill in a lot of gaps. I definitely did _not_ talk to Shiki about fruits before.

Eri wasn't crying anymore. She was too busy trying to make my advice click in her head instead of perceiving it as the kind of nutritional information you see on the side of a carton of OJ. I hoped I wasn't losing her…

"Um… anyway," I stammered, "there's no right or wrong way as to how a person should behave. S-So… uh, stop worrying already! You're you, and that's fine. Apples are fine."

I didn't think I was going to make a whole lot of sense but when I heard her muffled giggles I knew that finally, we were making progress. At least she didn't look very sad now, and that's something.

"Neku, I kinda get what you mean, your weird fruity analogy notwithstanding."

"Weird…? Ah well, as long as you understand! Are… Are we cool?"

It took her a while to respond but when she did, after wiping her tears away for the final time, it was with a smile and a brisk nod.

"Mm-hmm!"

"That's a girl." Whew… She's returned at last. Good going, me!

I felt my hand clasped in her silky palms as she beamed. "Thank you."

"Eh, think nothing of it. Um… feeling better?"

"A lot better! Hee hee… You're a real friend, you know that?"

"I try. Hey, the others are waiting for us, but do you need some time for a breather? I can tell them to wait."

"Mmm, yeah. Please do. I'll catch you all there soon."

With a mock stern face I added, "I'll be sure to give Rhyme a good talking-to afterwards."

"No, it's fine!" she said brightly. "She's still alright in my book."

"You're awfully generous to be able to forgive her so quickly."

"I just can't and don't think any ill of her, that's all…"

Was Eri a saint reincarnated? She's amazing… If it's me, I'd probably give Rhyme so much silent treatment I'd need to be bribed to talk!

"…plus," she added with a faraway gaze, "if she can't be my friend, I wouldn't be able to grope her so freely anymore… I mean, molesting her is so much fun! I'd have to resist the urge to go after her… Just think how unbearable it'd be for me!"

My eyebrows were scrunched up like an accordion. "Just found yourself a new hobby, huh? You're scaring me."

She poked me in the cheek. "Ooh, what's this? Jealous much? Of a girl, too. Hey, don't fret! I don't swing that way. Look, I'll feel you up too if it makes you happy. I'll even throw in a surprise attack or two on you while you're asleep."

And then while she laughed her head off like she had just told the world's greatest joke, I pretended to cringe away. "You're freaking me out, man. I'm outta here."

"Ha ha ha! Okay, jokes aside, I'll see you out there soon. Gimme a minute and we'll be good to go. Hold down the fort for me, please?"

"Sure. I'll see y– "

I couldn't say the last word. She interrupted me with a peck to the cheek and then dashed past me, her giggles echoing down the hall.

Eri was still giggling inside my head as I shuffled my way back to the lobby in a daze, cupping my cheek. Man, that felt ten types of good! She didn't leave a lip print on my face, did she?

Hmmm, better go take a look in the mirror.

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri did not seem to bear any grudges against Rhyme, and while the latter still held her reservations close to heart with no indication of changing them for the better, she had the dignity to treat Eri the same way she always did: as a friend. I wasn't a mind reader so I didn't know what they might be thinking but I hoped they'd be able to make peace.

All five of us went our separate ways. I'd go back home with Eri, but she had work.

Despite all the tension, I did have fun. And it was good that Beat and Rhyme knew a little more about myself and Eri. No more childish teasing, that's for sure. Now, if I could look forward to less nagging from Rhyme, that'd be great too. And as for Shiki… well, I'd be sure to tell her about this too in time.

"Heh…"

I reached up to my cheek where Eri had kissed me, and the fuzzy feeling started to spread itself thick inside my head again. It's so warm… and it felt good, of course. This was the kind of thing that could only happen with a relationship as special as ours. Perks and benefits, you know?

Shortly before bedtime, the chime of the doorbell almost caused me to jump. Aha! Was that Eri? It was a little past ten and she'd have finished work by now. We saw each other so regularly and we weren't even going out. We're even kissing from time to time! I wasted no time flinging the door open, ready to welcome her in with open arms.

But it wasn't her.

"Wha…? It's… It's you?"

The girl at my doorstep just stood there, looking nervous and nudging her glasses. "Hi, Neku… um, I hope I'm not being a bother, but… may I talk to you for a bit?"

What was Shiki doing here?

More importantly, what business did she have with me… And why did it feel like it was going to be the start of an important turning point in my life?


	28. Neku's Impossible Mission

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 28)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

It's rare for Shiki to come visit me in person. There she was, standing at my doorstep out of the blue just when I was thinking it might be Eri who'd show up. You don't usually intrude on your friends at this time of the evening – unless you were Eri herself and drunk at that – so something must be cooking.

She was naturally soft-spoken and her voice was quiet as she said, "Neku, I… I know this isn't the most convenient time for you, but I simply have to talk to you. M-May I come in?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, sure. Please, make yourself at home."

Come to think of it, this was the first time in a long while that she came to my house, if ever. I wasn't really nervous around her anymore, even when we were alone in the same place. She was as cute as I remembered her, but I couldn't be swayed. I knew which girl I wanted now.

"Um, would you like some cocoa? I can fix you a cup."

She shook her head. "That's quite alright. I could use some water though."

I set two glasses of water down on the coffee table for us both. She seemed to fidget even more as I took my place next to her on the couch. Shiki never lost her neurotic streak and she was prone to letting her anxiety get the better of her, but I guess if you were to compare a nervous girl with a guy who falls to pieces with every nosebleed, I'd say she was faring a lot better than me.

No matter who it was I was talking to, I always made it a point to listen carefully. A few years back, she herself once said, "Sometimes, all people need is a listening ear." So now I did my best to hear her out.

"What's on your mind, Shiki? Don't worry, you can tell me."

Her rigid frame relaxed gradually and she even smiled a little.

"You're so nice, Neku," she giggled. "You've come a long way since our first meeting. But that aside…! I didn't come here for idle chat, so I won't waste any more of your time."

After a sip of water, it was time to talk.

"…I need your help, Neku."

"My help?"

"Tomorrow, my relatives are coming over from Hokkaido to visit. Now, that's fine in itself, but my cousin will be there too… I'm not very keen on seeing him again but I don't really have much of a choice… My parents have been on good terms with my aunt and uncle since forever, so I don't want to sour things up by acting like a spoilsport."

"But why do you dislike him so much?"

Shiki groaned, as though simply talking about it was going to be a demanding affair. You could tell she didn't want to be reminded of this cousin of hers but she steeled herself to spill the details.

"I don't dislike him, but…" – I wasn't quite prepared for this next bit – "…the truth is, he has a thing for me. We're cousins and he knows it, but that hasn't stopped him from hitting on me."

I wiped a hand over my forehead in disbelief. "Are you sure he's not just being ridiculously friendly? Some people are like that, you know." Eri's a good example…

"No, that's not it. He is seriously contemplating a relationship with me, and he couldn't care less if it's forbidden or not. He's already confessed to me on more than one occasion. I always turn him down, but that hasn't stopped him. And I know he's going to do it again this time, just like all the other times. I don't want to hate my own cousin, but at the rate this is going he'll become too much of a bother."

"Whoa." The breath hissed through my teeth. "That's messed up… But where do I come in?"

"Well, it's a rather absurd request, but…" She paused, as though to get her words right. "Could you please pretend to be my boyfriend?"

Needless to say, her request surprised me. It wasn't difficult to tell where she was going with this, though.

"You want me," I said, "to pretend to be in a relationship with you so that you can get your cousin off your back…"

"Exactly!" Her eyes shone like stars when she saw that I had understood her perfectly. "If he sees that I'm already going out with someone, he'll give up and I wouldn't have to deal with his advances anymore. Just telling him about it wouldn't work. He's the type who needs to see things for himself to believe them. All we need to do is to fake it for a few hours tomorrow and it'll be as good as done."

If it really was that simple, I'd feel better about it. But I was often the butt of life's most harrowing challenges. What's to say this wouldn't be another freaking obstacle course?

"Please, wouldn't you help a girl out?" She clutched onto my arm like a vice and my bones were breaking. I had a funny feeling that if I refused, she'd keep pestering me until I gave in or she tore my arm off.

"Um…"

"I thought of asking one of the boys in my class, but I don't know them very well. They might freak out if I asked them. Worse, they might think I'm coming onto them. And I can't ask Beat either. Far be it from me to badmouth him but he's kind of dense… He'll probably blow my cover wide open. So the only one I can ask for help is you."

That actually made sense, but I wished she would rope in someone else. The distance between myself and Eri was becoming ever shorter, and I didn't need chicken brains to know that she too was wrestling with her own growing feelings for me; she was just taking her sweet time sorting her heart out. We were both hovering at a very delicate and important crossroads of our lives; should either of us be derailed it's be hard to pick up the pieces and start over. That's why I was reluctant to help Shiki. It made me feel like I was betraying Eri by 'going out' with her best gal pal. Pretend or not, it just didn't feel right.

But… Shiki was a good friend of mine and she trusted me more than anyone else, so it was only logical she'd make a beeline for me when trouble was a-brewing. I couldn't bring myself to shove her away. Friends should help one another, right?

In the end, my chivalry won the day, and I wound up giving her a hand, for which she was immensely thankful.

"Thank you!" she said, bowing profusely in gratitude. "You have no idea how much of a help this will prove to be!"

"You're too early to be thanking me," I deadpanned. "Let's see if your plan works tomorrow first."

Shiki was ecstatic that I was on her side. I was the last hope she was banking on, so now I had to do my part. This wasn't the first time I had to save a girl's hide. I'd been a knight in shining armour to Eri once, when I helped her fend off a jealous ex-boyfriend – the guy wanted to challenge me to a duel of skills but I just snubbed him in the face and told him to grow up. I guess now it's time for me to be a hero again…

"I'll slide you some more details real soon, Neku," said Shiki, preparing to leave. "There are still some things my family has to finalise with my Hokkaido relatives, so let's talk tomorrow once I get more info."

"Alright. If we're going to make this work, we need to at least formulate some sort of strategy."

"Yeah, I'm counting on you too!" And with a wide grin, she skipped out the front door and into the night.

I went to bed with so much apprehension I could use it as a pillow. What had I gotten myself into?

This had better go well… I didn't want to lose a friend by helping another.

XOXOXOXOXO

Sunday evening. Judgment Day was finally here. Would Shiki finally be free from torment by a disturbingly incestuous cousin, or continue to be ruthlessly pursued to the ends of the earth? Only we could change her destiny. Boy… things were getting serious.

I wasn't comfortable with pretending to be her boyfriend, but at least it was only going to be for a few hours today. Once that's over and done with, I was free to return to Eri. And if all went well, she wouldn't even need to know a thing.

Shiki came directly to my place to dispense some last-minute advice.

"My family is already waiting at our meeting place, but I told them I'd join them in a bit because I wanted to fetch you."

"We've got a bit of free time to prep ourselves before Armageddon begins. Need a drink, Shiki?"

She shook her head and wasted not a second more with the tips that I tried so hard to cram into my head. Have you ever gone for an exam you hadn't studied one bit for, and tried to rely on quick pointers to get by? Well, the pointers never work. Same thing here. There was so much to absorb that the sheer volume of advice overwhelmed me in less than no time at all.

"You're the 'boyfriend' here," she said, as we left the house, "so you gotta take charge. Of course, I'll be pitching in too here and there, but you've got to act the right way!"

"Uh-huh. Got it."

"I told my parents that I'm going out with you, and they're cool with it, but they did ask me for some background details. Since they don't know anything about you, I figured I should use this freedom to my advantage and make you into a more believable character."

"Fair enough. Oh, wait a minute…" And then I joked, "You didn't paint me as some kind of pervert or something, did you?"

"Ha ha ha! Don't worry, of course not! All I said was that you're in the basketball club at your college, and – "

I stopped her. "Huh? B-But I'm not in any clubs at the moment…"

"Y-You're not? Oh, well… no one needs to know the truth, anyway!"

"But what if your mum asks me about how people play basketball? Or maybe your dad's a secret Jeremy Lin fan… and he wants to know if he could connect with the younger generation by discussing slam dunks with me? If they find out I haven't the slightest clue, they might get suspicious!"

"Um… I don't think they'll…" She hit upon the ideal solution. "Ah, I know! Just say that you only recently joined the basketball club. That way, it's okay even if you don't know squat!"

My heart wasn't exactly at ease but it'll have to do. "Fine then… Alright, what else do I need to know about myself?"

Whenever Shiki was thinking deeply, she'd stick the edge of her thumb in her mouth and chew on the nail, which was exactly what she did now. "Mmm, let's see… I did mention that we're alike in many ways and that we enjoy doing a lot of things together, such as swimming – "

"Um, I'm a horrible swimmer."

"– listening to songs by The Prince – "

"Shiki, you know I'm not a fan."

"– and taking part in friendly lacrosse matches every week with your team members from college – "

Ooh, Shiki does lacrosse, huh… Whoa, hold on one darn second! "Lacrosse? ! Team? ! Doesn't that put me in a _second_ club? ! I'm already in a basketball club, remember? ! How does anyone in their right mind attend activities for two clubs? !"

She was about to carry on talking, but when she realized the seriousness of her blunder, no words could come out of her open mouth. Sweat gushed down her face as she struggled to give me a good answer. In an attempt to lessen the burden of her guilt, she let loose a dry rattle of a laugh and replied:

"W-Well, I did add that you're an excellent multi-tasker! Ahahaha…"

I groaned. "You made that one up just now, didn't you?"

She wilted like a dead flower. "S-Sorry… I guess I went overboard. My parents don't know anything about you, so I thought I'd make you a little more… um, believable."

"What's wrong with me? I'm okay, aren't I?"

"Not with your homebody lifestyle, you're not. My parents would be hard-pressed to think that my 'boyfriend' is someone who likes to stay at home. You be yourself and our chances of stopping my cousin go down the drain."

"Ouch…" So what if I liked to take things easy…

"Oh, and if they ask, your favourite colour is viridian."

"Wh-What in the world is viridian? !"

XOXOXOXOXO

A couple of minutes later, we arrived at our destination.

"Here we are!" said Shiki. She took a deep breath to ready herself for the mission. "My family's here already. C'mon, it's time for you to say hi. Remember, Neku: you have to act natural!"

Only a fraction of what she said registered in my brain. I was busy gawking in disbelief at the sight of our meeting place. It was a posh-looking restaurant that gave off a very Western feel to it; the kind of place you went to if you were up for seafood ravioli or spaghetti dressed in olive oil. And you would be served hand and foot by waiters who were polite and charming and wore dashing uniforms that made girls do cartwheels just from the very sight.

Yes… This could only be the popular butler café _Tea & Orange_…

Why did we have to have dinner here? ! This was where Eri worked under the alias Seishirou-sama! Her shift was in the evening too, which was exactly now. Gah, this was going to be sticky!

Hold on… She told me that she worked from Wednesdays to Saturdays, but today's Sunday, so I wouldn't bump into her at all! Whew… dodged that bullet… Now I could concentrate on thwarting Shiki's cousin.

…Did I really dodge it though?

I was relieved, but what's this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach? It was as tiny as a pinhead, but it was _there_. It wasn't _gone_.

At any rate, we were in before I could get cold feet. Shiki led me towards the table where her parents were waiting. As it was only the two of them, I knew that I had yet to meet the other relatives… and that cousin of hers. But for now, after a brief introduction, the task fell to us to keep up the façade in front of her mum and dad.

They were awfully nice people and their pleasant disposition helped to put me at ease somewhat. They did ask the odd question now and again though, twisting my guts into knots as my brain raced to give realistic answers.

"So you're Neku Sakuraba," said her mother. "Finally I get to see my daughter's boyfriend in person! Shiki always gets excited talking about you."

Her father was a little more cautious of me but otherwise he was as easygoing as his wife. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you two used to date when you were in high school?"

"No, we didn't," I said. "We started going out only fairly recently."

Mrs Misaki's approval of me being Shiki's boyfriend was both immediate and enthusiastic, as though I was the perfect suitor she'd been waiting to come along into her daughter's life. "When I came to know that she dumped her last boyfriend, I was so worried that she wouldn't be able to find someone else. So it's nice that you two managed to hook up. And what's more, you two were high school sweethearts, apparently!"

"Mum…!" groaned an exasperated Shiki. "Don't say stuff like that! It's embarrassing."

Mrs Misaki leaned closer and spoke to me in a soft and secretive way. "She's always too shy to tell me anything about her love life, so be frank with me, Neku… How far have you gone with – "

"_Mum!_ I can hear you!" Whoa… that's one heck of a blush.

Mr Misaki chided his wife's unabashed display of curiosity. "Come now, dear, don't direct questions like that to our guest." Then he turned to me with a rather grave expression on his face. "Sakuraba, I'll be totally honest: you seem like a decent young man, so I'm fine with you going out with my daughter…"

From the corner of my eye I observed Shiki's reaction. She held her breath tight, just as I predicted. The girl had a romantic fixation on me, so seeing her parents think well of me so early must have given her the green light to chase me down even more. Well, great. What's next, a pretend marriage? This was all going splendidly for my love life…

Oh yeah, Dad hadn't finished talking. "…but I expect you two to be a mature and responsible couple, so when you do it, make sure you wear protection – "

"_Dad! ! !_"

Boy, her parents were something else… and if they were anything to go by, then I could actually see why that cousin of hers turned out to be such a weirdo…

Presently, one of the butlers came along. "Master, m'lady," he said, addressing Shiki and me, "may I have your order, please?"

Slightly dazed by his handsomeness, she spaced out for a second or two but pulled herself together quickly. "Spaghetti bolognese for me."

"Very well." The butler turned to me with a dashing smile. "What about you, sir – "

I stared at the butler, and he in turn stared back at me. We were both dumbfounded, trapped in that little moment where time stayed still. Incredulity was etched deep into his face. My jaw could have dropped to the floor. It took me a while, but when I finally realized who those glasses and that ponytail belonged to, the whole world came crashing down on me.

Why…

Why was Seishirou-sama – the alter ego of Eri – here? !

Didn't she say she worked from Wednesdays to Saturdays? What was she here for? ! I thought having to play boyfriend to her rival in love was bad enough, but doing it in front of Eri herself really took the whole freaking cake! The worst part was, no one knew about her secret identity except me. Right now, she looked nothing like the pink-haired girl I knew so well. She was Seishirou-sama to everyone else. Not even Shiki knew the truth, so she'd keep pretending to be lovey-dovey with me not knowing that her own best friend was right nearby watching. And I'd have no choice but to play along.

This was beyond horrible. Give me a scary movie anytime; I'd rather watch it than endure this ordeal. Compared to yesterday's barrage of misunderstandings with the Bito siblings, this was ten times worse!

Eri quickly regained her footing with her butler persona and despite the maelstrom of emotions that must be surging inside her, she returned to being Seishirou-sama and was all prim and proper again.

"Sir, your order please?"

Her sudden appearance threw me into a great panic and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "W-W-Water, please!"

Shiki and her parents laughed, innocently thinking it was a stroke of humour on my part. "Sakuraba," her dad chuckled, "you don't need to be so shy. Just order whatever you like! The meal's on us."

"Ah, uh… right!" I glanced through the menu and picked one dish at random. "Sorry, I-I'll have one, um… how'd you read this, penny… ali baba? !" More laughter. Except I didn't find it all very funny.

"It's penne arrabiata," corrected Eri. "Is that what you'd like, sir?"

"Y-Yes, thank you!"

She scuttled away after forcing a smile for all of us. She must be shocked to see me going on what looked like a date with Shiki… and meeting her parents too! Dammit, this was a double whammy!

I wanted to claw my eyes out, but didn't get the chance to do so. Shiki's relatives had arrived on the scene to join us. How's that saying go again? Was it 'the more the merrier' or 'misery loves company'?

I counted three more people. As we said hello and exchanged introductions my nerves were too rattled for me to properly notice her aunt and uncle, who seemed like a pair of ordinary middle-aged folks. Even with a fried brain, however, the third person – that dreaded cousin – stood out very well.

You know those people who go out of their way to be cool, but end up looking like idiots? They walk with an exaggerated swagger, their chests are always puffed out, and when they smile, they make sure to do it with a wink and show every one of their teeth.

This guy was like that. It was off-putting just looking at him, to say the least. He was a lanky guy, his arms all gangly and thin as sticks, and, as though to compensate or his lack of muscular mass, his hair was fashioned into a clump – one of those old-fashioned hairstyles from the sixties or something when it was considered hip to have it bounce up and down in front of your forehead. And I was no expert in fashion, but even I could tell he had horrendous colour coordination. How's a yellow flowery Hawaiian shirt supposed to mix with a pair of striped purple trousers and look good? !

Don't even get me started with the mannerisms. Just see for yourself.

He tried to sound important as he talked to me. "Well now! What have we here? Another addition to the family, I presume?"

"N-Nice to meet you," I said, shaking his clammy hand. "I'm Neku Sakuraba."

"Might you be the by-product of a romantic liaison that I've yet to hear about? Ha ha ha, don't worry, I'm just joking!"

…What.

"Dearest Shiki!" Now he completely ignored me and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, causing her to cringe. "How long has it been since we last met? I can't even begin to remember how many grains of sand I've counted thinking about you." And his hairstyle bobbed about in her face.

"Er, right… Ahahaha…" She gently squeezed out of his grasp. "Um, I haven't actually finished introducing Neku here… and, see…"

The breath turned to ice in my lungs when she bravely hooked one arm around my elbow as a mock sign of affection. This got eyebrows raising, but she quickly added, "Neku here is my boyfriend. We just started going out. I know it's a bit sudden, but I thought it'd be nice if he could, you know, be a part of the family."

The aunt and uncle were delighted to hear this, saying that their niece was finally growing up and that it was high time she found a guy in her life. Her cousin, however, didn't take too kindly to this news. Hardly surprising. His face took on a darker undertone, and his behaviour became a little colder. No one liked rivals, and now I was it.

"Boyfriend, you say," he drawled. "Nekuraba, clarify one thing for me…"

"Um, if it's about my name, it's Neku Sakuraba."

"Aren't you the by-product? Definitely not the boyfriend, right? A by-product can't be a boyfriend."

Somehow… this was seriously getting on my nerves.

The aunt firmly told him to stand down, after which she apologized for him. "I'm sorry, Neku. He didn't mean anything bad. He just has a very eccentric sense of humour."

"It's fine," I said. Eccentric sense of humour? Seriously? He sure got the eccentric part down pat; the humour though…

Oh, I guess I haven't mentioned his name yet. But you know what? Just to show how insufferable he really was, I have decided that for the remainder of this story, I shall refer to him by his nickname. Yes, he has one now. Made it up myself.

Derpboy sounds awfully fitting, don't you think?

So yeah, that's what I'll call him from now on. Derpboy. And you can't sue me. His moniker originally was supposed to be The Living Pain In The Butt, but that's just too long. I mean, come on, how does someone become such an annoying blight? I was starting to see why Shiki wasn't cool with him, never mind if they're related or not!

Alright, quick recap here. Tonight I had to masquerade as her boyfriend, convince everyone that we were going out, discourage Derpboy from making passes at her, and on top of that try not to get Eri too jealous. There were a lot of conflicting matters to juggle, and it was impossible to please everyone.

This was turning out to be a wonderful evening indeed.

Apparently, Derpboy's mantra in life was to know his friends and cousins close, and his enemies closer. While the middle-aged ones were busy catching up with old times, Shiki and I were working our butts off defending ourselves from his many questions. He was desperately trying to find a loophole or weakness that he could take advantage of so that he could drive me away for good and continue being his insane self.

"How long have you been going out again?"

"For the last time," huffed Shiki, "we started dating not too long ago!" And she grabbed my hand in an attempt to show him how 'serious' we were.

"But I need details, details!" He was gesticulating wildly, impatient to know more. "How long is 'not too long ago'?"

This time I helped to answer. "About… uh… a couple of months back."

He fixed a haughty sneer at me, and it was all I could do not to cream him with the flower vase. "That's pretty vague if you ask me, Neru Sakaba."

"…It's Neku Sakuraba."

"So anyway, I was just going to ask you what you two do for leisure, but I won't deny dear Shiki the pleasure of elaborating further. Shiki, if you will?"

She froze. "H-Huh?"

"So terribly sorry to have to put you in a spot, my dear… but you've got the honours this time. Go on, don't keep your cousin waiting!" Oh god, this guy was nuts! I've seen anime fanboys in straightjackets who behaved far more normally than him.

Presently, the hand of fate intervened and brought Eri to our table together with another fellow butler. They brought our food over, and I stiffened, breathless as she laid my penne arrabiata in front of me. I never thought I'd see the say when I'd be scared of her.

Her arrival interrupted Derpboy's train of thoughts and he seemed to forget about his earlier line of questioning. However, he beckoned her over, which caused alarm bells to start clamouring anew inside my head. He motioned her to bow so he could speak in her ear.

I could hear his every word. He probably didn't bother to be quiet about it anyway. "Seishirou, give me a butler's opinion of something, will you?"

"Absolutely, sir."

He surreptitiously pointed at me. "Does he look like a good match for our beautiful lady guest here?"

The cheek of…! Uh-oh. Eri was looking at me. And when our eyes connected, I saw how dangerous her gaze was. This couldn't bode well. These things never did. And I was right. Out of spite (it had to be), yet retaining her gentlemanly politeness, she replied:

"They are already like husband and wife. Quite the couple, I'd say."

Derpboy baulked visibly at the very idea, bringing up all manner of protests until he was eventually hushed by his mother. Shiki, on the other hand, was affected by those words and glowing like a light bulb. I just wanted to go home already. Eri couldn't be helping me with my act because she didn't know about it… She acted this way because she was possessed by the green-eyed monster. Why did she have to smile like that? ! It just made her jealousy even scarier!

Maybe dinner could grant me a brief respite from all the madness. Emphasis on 'maybe'. The tomatoes were a bit on the sour side in my penne – maybe she personally prepared it and handpicked the least palatable ones. I didn't think too much about it, though. Eri was on standby at the cashier's counter, and I could feel my back going up in flames as her laser beam eyes bore right into me.

Derpboy's relentless assault left us gasping for the right answers. When Shiki said he was an observant fellow, she sure meant it. Why else would he notice all the little details?

"Any self-respecting couple," he claimed, "would sneak in the odd lovey-dovey act here and there by now… Aren't you even going to hold hands under the table?"

Shiki looked like she was going to trip up by denying any feelings for me like she was prone to doing, but luckily for her she didn't. "Cut it out," she said. "We're busy eating."

"No footsie at least? Better than nothing, I suppose."

"Dude," I sighed, "we're not going to gross people out with public displays of affection."

"Where there's a will there's a way, unless…" He left the sentence hanging, implying that he knew much more than we thought he did. He must be catching on…

I could feel the cracks in our strategy growing with each passing minute. That oppressive atmosphere brought about by him and Eri in the background… I had to get out of there and stay out. Even just a few minutes would do. Shiki was feeling the burn too, that much I could tell from the crease in her brow that wouldn't go away. We both needed a break.

The two of us finished our meal at the exact same time and got up together, eager to catch our breaths.

To everyone I said, "I-I'll be heading outside for a bit."

"Me too," mumbled an exhausted Shiki. "We won't be long."

Her uncle poked fun at us. "Couples these days… Everything you do is synchronized, eh? Right down to the toilet breaks?"

The whole table went up in a round of good-natured laughter, which Shiki and I forced ourselves to join in, albeit feebly. That damn cousin, on the other hand, didn't even try to pretend to see the humour in it, and couldn't be bothered to laugh.

We went out a side door into the alleyway behind the building and were glad to let our brains go limp.

She groaned, "I got a headache."

"Me too. And it's as big as your cousin's ego."

"Sorry again for hauling you into this. How are you holding up?"

"I'm barely there. God, I wish this would end."

"Everyone's pretty long-winded in this family, so… we're going to have to keep on at this for a bit more."

Damn… no easy ticket out, then.

"Well, for something that we had to improvise on the go, this was a pretty good plan, don't you think, Neku? We had a lot of hiccups and awkward moments but nothing that'd get anyone particularly suspicious… Sure, my cousin has his doubts, but otherwise everyone's fallen for it hook, line and sinker. Look at my family, for instance. They've taken an even greater shine to you already."

"Huh?" Come again? "An 'even greater' shine? What does that mean… You're saying your folks have liked me for a long time?"

Shiki gulped audibly and her face became flushed in a second. It was a classic 'slip of the tongue' moment; she accidentally said something she'd rather have kept hidden. But now that it was out in the open she just chuckled at her mistake.

"Ever since high school, yeah," she admitted. "What they told you is true – you know, about the part that I'm always telling them about you. But what really cemented their impression of you as a nice guy was a little incident that happened back when we were still schooling together. It's that time when I was dreadfully sick… Neku, do you remember?"

I didn't take too long to recall it. "You were down with a bad cold and had to stay in bed for three days. You were so weak you could hardly do anything for yourself."

"Everyone came to visit me… There was Eri, Beat and Rhyme in one group, but we all noticed you were missing. We usually did everything together, so it struck me as strange that you didn't turn up. Frankly, I was kinda disappointed, you know?"

I scrambled to explain myself. "B-But that's because – "

"Hee hee… I actually thought at first that you couldn't be bothered to come see me, but then out of the blue you arrived late, long after the others had left. And what's more, not only did you bring the handouts from school that I missed, you also brought me a homemade bento."

"I wanted to make a special lunch for you so that it could help you heal faster." Slightly embarrassed by the memory, I scratched my cheek. I was in love with her at the time, so I wanted her to notice me better. I put in a lot of effort into making that lunch. "It took a long time to prepare, so I turned up tardy."

"Oh yes, tardy you did," she chuckled, "but it was awfully sweet of you. Not to mention cute. And ever since my parents saw this, they've been pestering me to go out with you. Ahaha! I guess their wish kinda came true tonight, huh?"

When she put it like that, it's hard not to get my face red. Not that I was falling in love with her all over again, of course, but… well, it's a really flattering compliment.

Silence fell over the two of us. We just stared into empty space, letting the sounds of the city wash over our ears in an almost Zen-like murmur. From the corner of my eye, I spied her biting her fingernail again. Whether it was out of habit or nervousness, I couldn't tell this time.

Then suddenly, she spoke up, the words coming out in awkward stop-start fashion. What she wanted to say was on the tip of her tongue, but she kept correcting herself, as though she could never find the right way to put her thoughts into a proper sentence.

"By the way, Neku…"

"Yeah?"

"I've… I've been thinking… What if, uh, the two of us…"

"Huh?"

She rubbed the back of her neck and giggled sheepishly. "Ah, well… never you mind! I was just having silly thoughts, that's all! It happens."

What was that? Whenever a person starts talking and then tells you to forget about it, it just makes you even more curious to know. She knew this all too well, and after a great deal of hesitation she resigned herself to spilling the goods.

"I can't leave this hanging," she sighed, mostly to herself. "I have to know for sure…"

"Know what for sure?"

Shiki shut her eyes and inhaled deeply – took her sweet time with that deep breath. But when she opened them again, she refused to look my way, instead focusing on the ground at her feet.

"Neku," she began slowly, "if you and I… if we were to, you know… be in a – "

Unfortunately, she couldn't finish it. The back door swung open and we were taken by surprise by an unwelcome guest.

"My, my. Am I interrupting something?"

It was Derpboy! He must have been dying to know what sort of business we were up to and come to put to stop to it with his own hands. Who knows how long he's been lusting after Shiki, so heck if he was going to back down without a fight. And so he had come. To bring the fight to me. I could tell this was going to be the precursor for a tough battle of wits. No rest for the wicked, eh?

Caught off guard by his sudden intrusion, Shiki nearly stumbled off her own two feet. "What… What do you want?"

"You know I can't leave you alone, dear Shiki." Creepy!

"I know we're cousins but that doesn't mean we can stick together all the time. I'm in a relationship now, so you can't just hog my own space to yourself."

"Sure, I gotcha," he snickered, "but only if you're _really_ in a relationship."

She grabbed onto my arm, turning to me for protection. My stomach tightened with the sudden horrible thought that Eri would show up and see us at that moment, but thankfully nothing happened.

"You think Neku and I are not serious?" she said. "We're totally serious! We go out once a week, twice if we feel like it! Anyway, what gives you the right to doubt us? !"

He stroked his chin like a detective. "Well, to tell you the truth, I was shocked at first to hear you got yourself a by-product – I mean, boyfriend." He just had to say that, didn't he… "But as I listened to you throughout the evening, your stories began to sound stranger, and I even managed to pick out one or two contradictions." Huh? Contradictions? ! Did we mess up _that_ much? If this was a courtroom we were dining in and not a butler café, I was sure he'd have yelled out his objections much sooner.

"And so," he continued, "unless you can show me definite proof that you two are indeed an item, I'm not going to give up on you, Shiki."

Were we dealing with a mental asylum escapee? I sure was glad I wasn't Shiki… In the meantime, what could we do to dissuade this person from ever laying his grubby mitts on his cousin again?

Shiki was counting on me. I didn't know where I was going to go with this, but I had to say something, anything…

"Look, dude," I said. "Can't you show a bit more respect – "

Shiki interrupted me, directing firm words his way. "Fine. If you want proof, then I'll give you just that. Neku."

"Y-Yeah?"

She twirled round on her heel to face me, and then slammed her entire body right against mine like she was a living sledgehammer. This knocked the breath out of me and I nearly lost my balance on top of that too. Why did she suddenly do that, like she was expecting me to hug her? Ah…! I got it. It's all part of the plan. We could discourage Derpboy for good by showing him how romantic we could get. If nothing else, perhaps our sickly sweet performance might disgust him out of commission, though I wasn't going to rely on that.

But she had other ideas. Her face was beet red and the first few words she uttered were with a stammer so bad I couldn't make her out. Then, with a supreme effort, she willed her throat to work properly and I finally understood her.

"Come on, Neku. Gimme some sugar like you always do!"

"H-Huh? !" My hair could have jumped right off my scalp. She was asking me to kiss her? ! "What'd you – ow!"

"Hey!" she hissed, just loudly enough that Derpboy wouldn't hear her. "I don't like it, but it's the only way I can think of."

I didn't like this either, more so than even her. It must be so easy for her to suggest doing this; as someone who has ever had a boyfriend, she must have already tasted her first kiss. And she was planning to kiss the guy she was still in love with, so no problems there for her, right? But see, there was a huge problem… for me, anyway…

"I'm waiting," drawled Derpboy in an annoying voice. "What's the holdup? Can't do it after all?"

Shiki whispered to me urgently, "It's now or never, Neku."

I gulped. "Is there… no other way?"

"Stop thinking! He's already suspicious as it is. If we don't pull this off, he'll never let me go."

"Can't you just – "

"Neku! Now!"

She closed her eyes tight and raised her head slightly, waiting for me to connect our lips together. How did things get to this stage? We were so unprepared that now we had to pull off shock tactics on the fly to get that cousin of hers to finally get the drift. Kissing? It sounded like it might work in a pinch, but he was unpredictable. There's no telling if he would buy even that.

But more importantly, I couldn't bring myself to kiss her. I already had Eri… and while I knew what it was like to lock lips with a girl, it didn't make it any more right to go along with Shiki's plan. I didn't want to betray Eri by kissing her own friend, but if I didn't do this, that stupid cousin wouldn't leave Shiki alone. What should I do?

…Dammit!

Shiki's face was getting closer. She was not a plain-looking girl by any means… Now, if anyone could appreciate her simple beauty, I was sure they would be eager to take my place. She really was pretty, and she'd obviously been learning to doll herself up more these days, so while she couldn't hold a candle to the likes of Eri, she was still nice to look at. Those lips were starting to look very enticing… I was being mesmerized, slowly and gradually.

…No, this wouldn't do. I loved Eri. Whatever I might have felt for Shiki before… they had to remain locked away forever. That was why this whole act we put up in front of Derpboy had to stop. The whole thing may be a stage play, but I didn't want to jeopardize my loyalty to Eri.

Shiki was steadily approaching and angled her head to facilitate a deeper, more involved kiss. Invigorated by my stern resolve, however, I gently pushed her away and held her at arm's length, much to her confusion.

"I'm sorry, Shiki." I was most apologetic. "But… I can't do this."

"Wh-Wha…?" Then she got impatient, even angry. This wasn't the way her plan was supposed to go. "What're you doing? ! Hurry up with it already!"

I shook my head. "We shouldn't need to go this far, Shiki. Even if you're ready for this, I'm not."

"Neku…"

She understood my plight. With great reluctance she loosened her grip on my shirt, and our grand plan, as well as everything we'd done so far, went down the drain. It's hard to say if it was a pity it didn't work out, or if it was better off done away with in the first place. But I knew that regardless, I had to exercise responsibility for my actions. I was the one who made it all fail, so I should at least be the one to give Derpboy the wake-up call he so sorely needed.

His nose was raised all the way to the sky. He trumpeted his victory with a snort. "Will you look at that! I knew this whole affair smelled funny… So am I right to say you're not going out?"

I answered, "Yeah, it's true. We're not dating – "

"If you think pretending to be a couple is going to stop me, you're darn wrong. Now that it's all settled, I hope you wouldn't mind if I ask you to get lo– "

"If you want me to leave, then sure, I'll do that. But not before I say a few words."

"Fine. But keep it snappy."

Shiki's eyes were full of desperation. It's all over, she must be thinking. What was left to say?

"Dude," I said, "I… I don't think it's right for you to go after Shiki."

"What's it to you? You're not her boyfriend."

"Yeah, but I'm her _friend_. I care about all of my friends."

"And I'm her _cousin_. Oh, and don't get me started with the 'cousins can't fall in love' talk, alright? 'Cause I'm through with that."

I was fed up to the teeth with his attitude, but forced myself to calm down and adopted a gentler tone to my speech. "This isn't about whether it's okay being cousins or not. The most important thing here is whether you've considered Shiki's feelings at all."

Unsure what to make of this, he simply shrugged and shook his head slowly, silently asking me to elaborate.

"I know you want to go out with her," I explained, "but if she says no, you've got to respect her decision. It's all about basic human rights."

"What? But… I…"

"Even if you love her, does it feel right if she doesn't feel the same way about you? You have to stop for a minute and listen to what's she's been trying to tell you."

His brows were corrugated in a frown as he did his best to process everything that I had said. Shiki and I looked on, wondering what he must be thinking. I could sense his disapproval for my entire existence and it must irk him to be talked back to, but then suddenly his eyes lit up in a moment of realization. The haughty air about him gradually dissipated. Had he come to his senses at last?

He had to make sure, one last time.

"Shiki," he said quietly, "tell me honestly: what do you think about me?"

Having been confronted with such a straight question, she didn't know what to say at first. Her gaze switched from me to him and back again, but by the time she laid eyes upon him for the second time she had few problems voicing out her feelings.

She apologized.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I like you as a cousin, but I don't love you as, you know, a lover or something."

Then she bowed gravely, and it was obvious from the disappointment on his face that he knew that now was the time to give up. For what it was worth, he took the news relatively well. I was ready to file bets against him jumping ten feet into the sky and tearing his hideous hair out, but I was actually surprised to see him rubbing his neck with nothing more than a deflated smile.

"Ah… I see," he muttered sadly. "All along I thought I had a chance. Well, thanks anyway… for clearing this up."

"I'm sorry," repeated Shiki. "I hope we can still be on good terms."

He snapped back to life in a jiffy, but left his annoying demeanor at home, which was a good thing. "That'll never change! No matter what happens, we're still the best of cousins."

"Yeah!"

Finally this matter was resolved and quite well at that too. With the two of them finally reconciled and at peace with each other, it was time for me to make my exit. My job was done, so I had no reason to stay. Besides, I was exhausted from both the melodrama and the stress of being watched by Eri till I was ripe.

"Sorry for all the trouble I've caused you," said Derpboy to Shiki. "I know I've been a bit too aggressive." Then he addressed me. "And, uh…"

"Neku. Just call me Neku."

"Well… sorry for everything. You must think I'm a nuisance."

"Don't sweat it, man. That's all in the past." I took a quick glance at my watch. "Alright, it's time for me to go."

"What? Why?" asked Shiki. "C'mon, join us for dessert at least!"

I knew it wasn't very proper of me to leave prematurely, but I couldn't stay. The tension built up over the course of this evening was starting to take its toll on me and I could my surroundings swaying. All I wanted was to lie down, sort my head out, and regain my energy before I got cracking on the sure-to-be-difficult task of explaining the whole story to Eri afterwards. And let's face it: even if I stayed, I didn't really fit in. Everyone else was related to each other, and I was the odd one out. If you've ever sat down with a bunch of people with whom you can't share your wavelength, you'll know what I mean.

Even Derpboy, who felt that I was okay in his books now, tried to coax me out of it. "They have monster sundaes, you know. And you can pay the butlers to feed you a spoonful or two if you like!"

…I'll pass on that one. If it's Eri, sure, but…

I declined politely. "Nah, it's cool. I really gotta dash. There's, um, something I have to do. Thanks for having me, and… tell your folks too, that I said thanks."

Shiki looked quite sad that I couldn't stay but promised to cover for me. Once we were done with a rather hasty goodbye, I left and went straight home without making a single detour. As soon as the front door clicked shut behind me, I flopped down on the couch and each of my four limbs went weak and soggy. What a terrible experience… Here's hoping I wouldn't have to help any more damsels in distress for a long time to come! They can save themselves, thank you very much!

Now what do I do with Eri?

I had no heart to lie to her. So many films and stories out there have proven that hiding the facts always has terrible consequences. It's a lot easier to tell the truth anyway, since you don't have to remember so many lies. Thing is, this was a delicate matter. How would you feel if the person you shared a kissing relationship with suddenly up and went out with someone else? No matter what your partner says, it's bound to feel like he or she is…

…cheating on you…

Still, the truth was the only thing I could say. And so, at slightly past ten, when her shift would have ended, I waited at her front door for her to return. There was a light snow falling outside; even in the relative safety of the corridor outside her doorstep, I could feel the chill of winter biting through my clothes.

I didn't need to wait long. Eri emerged from the staircase, still dressed as Seishirou-sama – glasses, ponytail and all – except wearing normal clothes. At first, she didn't notice me, trudging forward without really looking ahead. Then she happened to lift her head, and our eyes met. My appearance at this hour must have surprised her, but she didn't greet me quite as warmly as she used to.

"Neku… what're you doing here?"

Her voice was a monotone that froze the pit of my stomach. But this was no time to back down.

"I want to talk to you for a bit," I said. "Is… Is that okay?"

"…If this is about why I was working today, it's because _Tea & Orange_ is holding a special promotion period. We're giving out limited-edition handkerchiefs to the first 600 customers, and things are getting busy as a result, so they need every butler in the house. I was called in to help out."

"Ah… So that's why…" Hang on, I wasn't here for small talk… My tongue became dry… real dry. "Eri, listen, I want to talk to you about this evening. You saw me dining with Shiki and her folks, and… well, I was just afraid you might have gotten the wrong idea about us."

She gave a long sigh, then removed her disguise. The glasses came off and she undid the ponytail to let her hair flow behind her back.

"That's fine," she said softly. "Really, there's nothing to worry about."

"Huh? Wait, wh-what do you mean?"

She broke eye contact with me and glanced at the cityscape. I was probably the last thing she wanted to look at right now… But the worst had yet to come.

"It's all good, isn't it, Neku? After all these years, your dream came true… Hooking up with Shiki, I mean. Isn't that just great? You could've told me about it earlier, though… Being in a relationship is something worth bragging about, after all!"

Gah, she really bought the whole act, didn't she? ! Why couldn't she have been as sharp as Derpboy? ! I had to sort this out now!

"Eri, wait. Hear me out… This is all a big misundersta– "

"Neku, I said it before, didn't I? It's alright." When she turned back to me, she had a forced smile for me, the kind that you show in an attempt to hide your discontent. "I should – no, rather, I'm happy for you. Ever since high school, people have been saying that you two should just go out already since you match, you know?"

"H-Hold the phone!" I yelped. "You're not listening! Shiki and I aren't going out… What makes you think so, anyway? !"

She glared at me. "Hey, anyone who saw you two linking arms would be hard-pressed to think otherwise… Plus there were a bunch of other telltale signs…"

Ah crud, I forgot about that. But that was all part of the act. This wasn't good… She totally believed it. Our unrefined, haphazardly carried out plan to stop Derpboy… she believed all sixty thousand percent of it! Oh boy, now she wanted to end the conversation already and just go back inside her apartment to stew over what I imagined must be unfair to her. I decided to do away with the gradual explanations, and just dumped everything I wanted to say over her head like a pail of water.

"Give me a chance to fully explain myself, will you?" I was more worried than impatient. She wore the look of a person who had stopped listening, so I had to talk fast. "Shiki asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend so we could fool her cousin into thinking she's unavailable. 'Cause, see, that cousin of hers has this huge crush on her! And she doesn't want that."

No chance. Nothing I said could register in her head. Her mind was too clouded by her own jealousy. And when she next spoke up, it was with some soul-crushing words.

"We've had some good times… you and me. But the time has come for me to step aside and forget them, I think. I shan't get in the way anymore."

What the heck? Refusing to believe me was one thing, but throwing away our special relationship just like that… How could she even bring herself to discard everything that we'd ever done together? All the dates, cooking lessons, heartfelt conversations… even the pranks she's played on me and the weird jokes she's cracked… They were all so precious to me. Did she not feel the same way? She had to! So I knew she wouldn't just toss them out the window!

I grew irritated with her and snapped, "You can't just erase the memories we've forged together! Because… Because…"

She narrowed her eyes. "…Because?"

It took me a few seconds to wrestle for the most appropriate way to deliver my answer. "…Because I know that deep down inside, you don't want to. Not when your feelings for me are, uh, you know…" I couldn't put it in words. I didn't know how to… Either that, or I was afraid she might lash out at me if I said it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she grumbled. "Look, I've had quite the busy night, so can we just drop this? I'm awfully sleepy."

Dammit, I wasn't getting through to her one bit. But I had to, by hook or by crook. One way or another, she had to know. Before she could take a single step towards her door, I quickly stood in front of it, barring her way.

"Move," she said, frowning. "I don't have time for this."

"Well, you'd better," I countered firmly. "You have no idea just how serious I am about you. I'm not pulling any mind tricks here, Eri. What I feel about you… is not one big lie. If you think I'm just going to cast you aside for Shiki, you're dead wrong. I mean, I even confessed to you! Doesn't that mean _something?_"

"But I haven't given you my answer yet. Not since last month. I guess that's all it took, huh? You don't hear from me for a month and then you set your sights on another girl. Is that it? Haven't you ever heard of waiting?"

"Eri!" I seethed, getting frustrated. "That's not how it is at all! I've been waiting patiently for you! I've – "

"Sorry, Neku." She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I could feel her trying to push me out of the way. "I'm through listening to you for today. You know what? Maybe Rhyme's right. Shiki would suit you better. Now please, just move. I'm tired."

"…No."

"I said move."

"Not until I'm sure that you even understand the whole situation."

She gave an exasperated grumble and let go of my shoulder. I thought she was going to finally willing to let it all sink in her head, but I was wrong.

Without warning, I felt such a great crushing pain in between my legs that I fell to my knees and crumpled right on her doormat like a pack of cards. She… She kicked me in the groin! As I groaned in agony, helpless to do anything for myself, she simply unlocked the front door and stepped over my prostrate body. The last thing she had to say for tonight was a very indignant "Hmph!" before the door slammed shut behind me.

So this was the ultimate result of my efforts, huh… I lay huddled on the floor, wondering if I might have been made a eunuch. I really did my best to convince her, but it wasn't enough and she hardly listened to begin with.

At this rate, would we be able to patch up and return to the way we were? I had more than enough reasons to be worried about our future…

…

**Author's note:**

**This chapter was rather challenging to write, maybe even a little problematic. In trying to make the plot sequence realistic, I've had to cut out some ideas and incorporate others. Just when I thought scenario A might go well, a minor detail would crop up and I'd have to chuck the idea into KIV for further viewing/review. And then I'd have to think of scenario B, which might be less than perfect, so then it'd be onto scenario C and so on.**

**At least three major edits were necessary for this chapter. At first, the big dinner was supposed to take place a week later, but then that would give Neku and Shiki a lot of time to practice their act. However, I wanted things to be tenser by making them go unprepared, and that's obviously not going to happen if you've got a whole week's worth of time. So I switched it to Sunday. But Eri needed to be there to witness Neku 'going out' with Shiki, and her butler shift goes from Wednesdays to Saturdays, so I created the scenario where she had to be called in to help on Sunday. There was a great deal more editing in this chapter than any other, so I took a lot longer to release it – terribly sorry about that! But on the plus side, I'm satisfied with how it turned out.**

**I don't want to ramble on and on so I'll stop here. Until the next chapter, it's cliffhanger time. Yay! Everyone enjoys cliffhangers! Oh wait, not everyone. Not even myself. Anyway, I'll try to release the next chapter sooner so please stay tuned!**


	29. Together

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 29)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

What are the chances that Eri would be present in my home on any morning?

Ninety-nine percent. She always came over to play with me. Otherwise she was already in the house from staying over the previous night. Either way, she's been a regular customer.

Today fell under the remaining one percent.

No sign of her. I once contemplated calling her up to see if she was alright, but knew better not to prod a brooding lioness.

Getting involved in Shiki's little bomb of a plan didn't do me any good. Eri saw everything; all the things I did with Shiki were out in the open. She saw our arms linked together, amongst other stuff. The sight of us being physically close must have made her uneasy, to say the least. And it wasn't even my doing! Shiki took the lead pretty much the whole time.

Eri didn't even give me half a chance to explain myself. Instead she blew me off and gave me a kick to the groin for good measure. It didn't sting that much anymore, and walking was no longer a problem, thankfully… but could I father kids in the future? I was just glad she didn't wear steel-tipped boots…

The fate of our relationship was a real cause for concern. I'd tried everything in my power to start the healing process, but it wouldn't take off in the first place. None of the text messages I sent got a single reply. The same could be said for all of my phone calls and e-mails. And when I went to her place one more time, she was either not in or couldn't be bothered to see me. Nothing.

In need of a cool head, I wound up milling the streets of Shibuya, hoping to find some sense of solitude in aimless wandering. From Scramble Crossing to Dogenzaka and back again… I was fresh out of ideas. With no way to contact her, I was left high and dry. However, there's no use worrying about it if I couldn't do anything in the meantime, so I might as well do something else to take my mind off of it. Who knows… maybe by the time I'm done touring the whole of Shibuya on foot, I'd have thought of a plan.

Let's try a different location this time… AMX might have some new CDs out. _Copper Apple_ just released their latest album, or so I've heard. Worth a look-see.

Where was it, where was it… It's around here somewhere… And there! I found it! _Copper Apple_'s newest album. Just in luck too. It was the only copy left! Sure goes to show how popular they were.

I reached out to grab it, but someone snatched it from right under my nose. Maybe too popular.

The person who had beaten me to it squealed, "Oh my god! It really is _Copper Apple_? ! How could I have missed this? Lucky!"

I could've cursed, right there in the shop. But when I got a good look at the face of the thief, I nearly fell over instead and gasped her name.

"Eri? !"

Startled, she suddenly saw I was next to her, and her expression changed from the joy of finding a good buy to the loathing of seeing someone you wanted nothing with. Like an ex-boyfriend. Or something.

"Ugh, you? !" she spat. "What're you doing here?"

"I could ask you that myself. I've been trying to reach you, but you never took any of my calls or messages."

"Look, what's a girl got to do to get some space? I'm still trying to clear my head from last night. Will you please not be around me for a while?"

"Wait, see… Last night, it… it really isn't what you think it is."

Eri was exasperated and she let me know from that long grumble of hers. The last thing she wanted was for us to go round in circles again. So she nipped it in the bud.

"If you're going to explain yourself again," she said, "then no, I'm not listening. I have a fairly good idea of what you're trying to say anyway so let's all give repetition a rest, okay? Plus I've come out here for the sake of my tired brain and I will be darned if you're going to take the simple privilege of personal privacy away from me. I know my brain wouldn't be happy, and neither will I."

Beneath her sunny exterior lay a tongue made of razors. She only used it when she was angry though, so as long as you didn't spoil her day, you wouldn't have to endure her long sarcastic speeches. I knew about this side of her when she jilted her last boyfriend with a scathing list of reasons of why she hated his control freak tendencies. Boy, did he wilt like a dead plant… And now, I got to experience what it was like being said dead plant.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a purchase to make." And as she left for the counter, she waved the _Copper Apple_ album in front of me in a show of hard-earned victory. It was the last copy, she took it, and she rubbed it in my face! Talk about spite…

Then she left the store without so much of a glance towards me. I scampered after her, hoping to catch up. But the streets were awfully congested around AMX and I soon lost her. I was so close!

Giving up was not even a course of action I intended to take. I needed to press on. At least I saw the general direction she went, so I knew she'd either be going straight at the next fork to the Shibu-Q Heads department store, or to the right towards Molco, where another store awaits. There was a 50/50 chance that I'd go down the wrong road and waste my time searching for someone who wasn't even there, but hey… Wouldn't be any fun otherwise, right?

…I kid. This was nuts.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Oh my god, this skirt is to die for! And the best part is, it's on sale! How many levels of awesome is that?"

Eri twirled a little, and the salesman tending to her praised her with a wide grin. "That skirt is so you, miss. You'd set trends walking down the streets."

"Really? Hee hee… okay, I'm going to try another one."

Two minutes later, the curtains of the fitting room whooshed open and, like magic, she was completely transformed.

"Whatcha think of this now?" she asked next.

The salesman nodded. "I like how the shorts accentuate the shape of your legs. Paired up with that top you've got a getup that's perfect for beating the summer heat. Trust me, I know these things."

"You've got a good eye, I can see!" She was soaking up his compliments like a sponge. Like an idiot. It was time to set her straight.

She ducked into the fitting room again and while she was busy changing, I emerged from my hiding spot a few aisles away and politely coaxed the salesman to step aside. Confused, he scuttled away at my insistence and went to serve another customer.

"You're such a darling," she cooed, thinking she was still talking to him. "How nice of you to go out of your way to help me choose clothes! You're no slouch in the fashion department either, but then that should come as no surprise! This guy friend of mine, on the other hand… He's a total idiot when it comes to attire. I mean, ugh! Seriously, how can people get _sooo_ dumb?"

Uh-huh. You just keep talking, Eri. Just keep talking…

And talk she did. "He could be so much cooler, you know. All of that potential… wasted, just because he wouldn't try on anything outside of his usual wardrobe. You know what turns him on? T-shirts and baggy trousers! Can you _believe_ that? ! And oh, get this. He thinks having a spiky carrot salad on his head is all it takes to be fashionable. Ha! Fat lot he knows!"

…I was looking forward to giving her a piece of my mind soon.

Finally satisfied with how she turned out, she cut her tirade short and whistled to herself. "Ooh, hello girl! You are H-O-T hot! Yes, this will do!"

The curtains slashed open and out she stepped with head held high and eyes blissfully closed. Then she struck a pose. Despite her vanity, she was a sweet person at heart. But she still loved being vain. Hence the pose. If there was music and dramatic lighting it'd be perfect.

"Now, what do you think of this? Tell me I look fabulous? Ha ha! Just kidding. No, seriously, gimme your opinion."

"I'd feel more at ease," I replied flatly, "if that skirt was a bit longer."

"Eh?"

That wasn't quite the flattery she was expecting to get high on. And when her eyes snapped open, she saw why.

"Gah!" She recoiled like a frightened horse, seeing that I had taken the salesman's place. Her arms and legs were flinging all over the place; not quite the hilarious pretzel pose that Beat was famous for, but an admirable imitation of it nonetheless.

I continued, "If you were more lenient with your criticisms of me, that'd be great too."

"Neku!" The girl had her hands balled up into fists and fumed like a chimney. "What one earth are you doing here – wait, before all that! How did you follow me here? ! I could've sworn I lost you way back at AMX."

"Uh, I actually followed the smell – "

"Wh-Wha…? !" She screwed up her face to show her disgust. "Eew! Are you for real? ! Pervert, pervert! You're a lowly, despicable bug! Someone get me my insecticide!"

"– of your perfume, Eri. You're very picky when it comes to perfume, and I know you like that particular one. _Vanilla Splash_, if I recall correctly."

"How do you know so much about me? Are you a stalker?"

Arguing with her wouldn't do us any good, so I ignored her instead and chided her for asking for a salesperson's opinion. "You know they're going to say you look good no matter what. They're running a business and they want you to keep coming back to the store, so they'll never tell you the truth, even if you look terrible."

"I don't need your lectures, Neku."

Her appetite for good clothes had dissolved thanks to me, so after she was done getting back into her usual clothes, she stomped out of the store without making a single purchase. Although she tried to keep her distance, I managed to catch up with her, grabbing onto her arm for dear life.

"Let go!" she growled. "Or I'll have you on a restraining order so fast, it'll make your head swim!"

"T-Ten minutes!"

"What?"

"Ten minutes of your time!" I pleaded. "Just… Just gimme ten, so that we can talk. It's all I ask. Please. I… I never got a chance to really explain everything. I just need you to understand me."

I could see her hesitating. For that one brief moment I had disarmed her, taken away her sword and shield. Now's my chance to press forward!

"Please, Eri. Please… listen to me, just for a while. I wouldn't be long if… if you really can't stand me. Really, I can make it short. Kinda."

For the next five seconds we just gazed at each other, lost in the moment. However, she recovered from her stupor in a flash and yanked her arm free from my grasp. I thought she'd yell at me to get lost, but her tone was genuinely apologetic.

"I-I'm sorry, Neku… But please, you have to leave me alone. I… I just…"

Her hair swished like a length of silk as she turned on her heel and started walking, leaving her sentence unfinished. She didn't know how to end it, I suppose. Two steps later, she stopped in her tracks, much to my curiosity. Then she threw these words over her shoulder:

"Maybe… we can talk later. But not now. I'm not ready to listen. And don't call me. I'll call you."

Huh? Was this a good sign or bad? She said we could sort things out at a later time. If all went well, we could be friends again… As long as there was hope for us, I should cling onto it!

That was all I would hear from her before she melted into the throng of shoppers. If she stated so clearly that she didn't want to be disturbed, then there was nothing I could do. But if her word could be counted on, then I could see her again on better terms. Hopefully.

Reluctantly, I went in the opposite direction.

XOXOXOXOXO

What's a guy got to do when he is at his wit's end? I kept telling myself how I shouldn't waste time trying to make sense of Eri's words because it'd all become clear in time, but in a corner of my head I kept _wanting_ to analyse the situation over and over. I always came up with nothing useful.

No! I was thinking too much. I should take my mind off of this. As luck would have it, I chanced upon the local arcade. I wasn't a hardcore gamer by any means, but heck, why not give this a try… Surely there'd be something that I was a natural in.

The last time I came here was years ago when I was still a kid. Coming back to this place gave me an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. I remembered how I used to play _Alley Brawler_, and how I would shake my fists in frustration at the screen because I could never beat the last boss. And I was the reigning champ in _Zombie Shredder 2_ for at least a week until someone else came along and beat my high score. I had fond memories of the arcade, which was why I was a bit sad looking at it now.

Many of the older machines, which I had played to death, had been removed and replaced with more advanced ones. Looking around, I was disappointed to see that _Psionic_ _the Warthog_ was gone. And when did they install this new dance game? I lingered around within a small crowd that had gathered to watch this guy pull off wicked moves on a dance pad.

The arcade certainly was very different than before. Ten years was more than enough time for it to undergo a major facelift. Could I even find anything I might like?

Then I saw it. The latest installment of the _Alley Brawler_ series. Finally, a game I could familiarize myself with! It was nestled within an aisle of similar fighting games. The machines were placed back-to-back and you could set them up to challenge whichever worthy rival might be in the vicinity. But as I was here to blow off steam, I elected to play on my own.

As I sat down to start it up, my thoughts suddenly shifted for a second and Eri materialized in my mind's eye. What was she doing now? Did she still not like me? What should I say to her when we next met? All these questions and many more bogged me down so much that I almost completely forgot about the game. The heavy stuff could wait. I needed to give my head a break.

To my chagrin I discovered that one of my favourite characters wasn't in the lineup. Where was Yatagarasu? ! He and I went a long way back and I'd practically memorized his entire move set! Just my luck to have to make do with a fighter I wasn't fluent with. At least Underdogma had a cool name. My skills weren't what they used to be anymore, and I barely scraped through the first few opponents. Man, my fingers were blistering from the workout, but it was still thrilling!

Then my screen started to flash. In large letters it shouted, "Challenger appeared! ! !" Huh? Someone wanted to challenge me to a battle? A quick check revealed that my opponent was sitting at the machine opposite mine. Curious, I peered around the corner to catch a glimpse of him. He did the same, and our eyes met. Except… it wasn't a he. It was a she, and not only that, it was…

"Eri!" I gasped. "What are you doing here? !"

"That's my line," she said, wearing her 'You again? !' face. "By the way, we have got to stop saying 'What are you doing here? !' so much. It got old several paragraphs ago, you know."

"S-Sorry. I'll try to keep that in mind the next time we, uh, accidentally bump into each other again."

"Whatever. Why do you keep following me? I told you to keep out of my hair until I'm ready to talk. I said I'd call you, didn't I?"

"D-Don't make it sound like I'm some creepy old man… We just happened to be in the same place at the same time, that's all. So, uh, why are you here again? You don't seem the type to play video games."

"Yeah, I'm not. I came here on a whim. Thought that if I tried a game or two I might feel better. I don't know the first thing about _Alley Brawler_… Heck, all I did was press buttons at random and now I'm off to fight you."

Without much hesitation, my instinct kicked in and I invited her to undertake a crash course. A magazine I had ever read had this article that said games are one way for couples to bond, so I figured, well, perhaps this might also help to mend our relationship.

"Uh… if you're interested, I can teach you the basic moves, Eri. It's nothing that'll help you win against a pro, but you gotta start somewhere."

Eri was about to oppose the very idea, but stopped herself before she could unleash another verbal lashing at me. Instead, she glanced to the side, considering whether to accept my offer or not. She probably wasn't going to say yes…

Very meekly, she mumbled, "I… I could really learn how to throw a punch, at least… My money would go to waste otherwise."

Whoa, she said yes? I sat on an empty seat next to her; side by side we went through her first gaming lesson. "Alright, Eri, the first thing you need to know is…"

Every one of us is born differently. What one might have a natural affinity for would prove difficult for another. Video games were not her forte. Even the simplest of button commands was a headache for her to follow.

"I can't do this!" she wailed. "Why is the input sequence for Spinning Bird's Nest Kick so long? !"

"Y-You don't have to try and pull off such a complex move so early… Stick to simple combos until you're ready for the real thing."

"But I wanna do it. You're going to be my opponent later, so I want to be able to kick your butt with it! That'd be stylish, no?"

"Sure, I guess… Your call."

She never did manage to get it right, but was impatient to crack some skulls (mine specifically), so our long-awaited match began right away. A rusty gamer and a total newbie… We were hardly the most graceful of sparring partners. But I had more experience under my belt, so I fared better. Actually, I held back for her sake; even then, she performed about as well as a dead horse. I won both rounds. Underdogma went wild with his victory dance while Eri's character lay shamed and unconscious on the floor.

Come to think of it, there was another part to that magazine article. It said that the best games for couples and couples-to-be involved cooperation, not competition. Role-playing games were in, while fighting games were out. Whoops! No wonder the frustration wouldn't leave Eri's face.

"Um…" I was as tactful as I could possibly get. "I-If you want a rematch…"

"Nah, I'm good." Eri rose from her seat. "I'm not cut out for fighting games. Everything's too fast."

"Well, I saw a crane game somewhere… Wanna give it a shot?"

"Oh, that sounds more like it!" Her defeated slouch disappeared and she cheered up. "Maybe I can find a companion for my teddy – hey, hold it!"

"Huh?"

"I'm supposed to hate you right now! We can't get all chummy at a time like this!" And she crossed her arms to show that she wasn't receptive to my friendliness. Was it possible for a person to forget to show hostility towards another?

"Y-You're still going on about that? C'mon, stop that… Besides, do you really hate me that much?"

"That's… That's not the point. I'm just saying that we need some distance between us, at least until we can put an end to this nicely. It's not right to get back together so early."

Dear, dear… Back to square one. Luckily or unluckily, someone came along and swung our conversation in another direction.

"Oi," said the surprise guest, coming over. "Phones, Eri… You two on a date, yo?"

Beat. The arcade was one of his favourite hangouts, so it was easy to see why he was here.

"A date?" Eri cleared her throat uneasily. "No, we just met by chance, is all."

"Huh… If I didn't know better, I'da thought you doin' sexy time by playing games!" He fell into a series of loud guffaws, blind to the tensions brewing between me and my lady friend. "Phones, yo… You ain't gonna get anywhere having dates in the arcade! Where's your sense of romance, man?"

I scratched my head. "Didn't she make it clear we just bumped into each other? It's not a date. I was just – "

Eri suddenly lunged at Beat's arm and hooked hers around it. While Beat almost jumped, I was immediately filled with outrage. Only lovers and very close friends should be able to enjoy the benefit of physical contact of the superglue kind. Beat may be a good pal, but she didn't need to do that to _him_. What was she doing? !

With a sickly friendly face pasted on, she giggled, "Ooh, Beat! You came at just the right time! I was wondering who I could get to accompany me round town. I'm sure we'll have lots of fun together!"

"Huh?" Her behaviour confused him, prompting him to say, "But Phones is right here, yo… Why not get him instead?" Yes, that's right! You go, Beat. Slap some sense into that pretty little head of hers and maybe she'd see the error of her ways, and then we could reconcile or something. Dude, you really are my frie–

"I'll treat you to as many chili dogs as you can handle."

He gasped. "At M-Mexican Dog? ! Your treat? Fo' real? !"

"Yeppers! I'm feeling generous today. Hey, there are people out there who _betray_ their own _friends_ but I know _I'm_ not one of them! It's a promise! So how about it? Hungry?"

The saliva dribbled down the side of his mouth like an avalanche. No, Beat, resist the temptations of your stomach! Eri's just seducing you for her own personal gain! You're my friend, right? You wouldn't go out with my love interest, right? You promised to give me your absolute unwavering support, ri–

"Aight, let's go! I'ma eat a whole dozen 'a them, yo!"

"Then off we be!" The two of them sped off, arm in arm, leaving me choking in a cloud of dust.

What the… What the… Beat, you…

I screamed the arcade into a pile of rubble. "YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND! ! !"

XOXOXOXOXO

Call me clingy and possessive, but I couldn't help what I just did, okay?

I secretly followed Beat and Eri all the way to the Mexican Dog fast food restaurant. I didn't enter, though, electing to stay hidden within the crowds and watch from a distance. Eri may have eloped with my supposed ally Beat, but I wasn't about to cause a scene by getting in their way.

Just look at them. They were all smiles and having fun. I didn't know what they were saying, but they were happy. Whoa, Beat was really taking her up on her offer of free food! He had whipped himself up into a feeding frenzy. How many dogs was that? At this rate he was going to grow even rounder…

Eri wiped his cheek with a tissue whenever a blot of ketchup appeared on his face. The nerve of – That's what she normally does with me! Was she trying to flirt with him? After all that we'd done together, she's fine with playing with another guy like she's forgotten all about me? !

Was… Was this how she's able to switch boyfriends so quickly? Did being with so many boyfriends increase her resistance to the sting of heartbreaks and make it easy for her to dump people?

Was the real reason something else? I thought back to what Rhyme said.

_Don't you think it'd be a more likely scenario if she just plain gets fed up with guys too quickly? Even you have to see that something's wrong here._

Yeah, well, maybe that could be it…

No, the vector of my thoughts was way off! Eri's dotty. She's an incurable pervert. She loves to make fun of me. But was she promiscuous? Never! She wouldn't go out with one guy only to turn her back on him the next day and swing with another. She's only doing this because she was mad with me. Maybe she wanted to get back at me, give me a taste of my own medicine…

Huh? 'Taste of my own medicine'?

The churning, bubbling sensation inside me now… Jealousy. Eri kept it bottled up inside her, all while Shiki pretended to get touchy-feely with me. I see… So that's why she did what she did with Beat.

She simply wanted me to know what it was like to watch the person you love go out with someone else. Of course, that would mean she was in love with me… I never doubted my hunch about that. And while that made me happy, I also recognized the burden I had to carry for my actions. This was all partly my fault; I'd have to make it up to her somehow.

I let Eri be and left the area. I'd see her again soon, but until then, it was back to trawling the streets again. I should get a side job as a vagabond.

Seeing Beat enjoy himself as he engorged himself stupid gave me a sudden craving for noodles. So now here I was at Ramen Don enjoying a bowl of shio ramen. The simple taste of soy sauce broth was refreshing. Not exactly warm chicken soup on a cold winter day but it comes close. I won't be ordering seconds though. One serving's enough for me.

Halfway through my meal, a customer came over to take the seat next to me. I didn't take much notice at first, but when she greeted me and I saw her up close, I almost choked.

"Neku!" she cried. "Fancy seeing you here!"

"Shiki? !"

Yup, it was her. The source of all my troubles and worries was right here in the flesh. Oh boy, why did she have to show up now… Not that I hated her. Nothing like that. I still liked her as a friend, but… how was I supposed to catch my breath from all the mounting stress?

"Shibuya sure is a small place," she chuckled. "Ain't nowhere we can go without bumping into someone. Hey, I'll treat you!"

"Oh, th-that's not necessary, thank you."

"No, I insist. I'll pay. It's not much, but it's the least I can do to thank you for helping me out last night."

"Ah, okay, th-thanks, Shiki." I made small talk with her. "How's it going with your relatives?"

"Good. They plan to go shopping this afternoon, and my parents and I are joining them."

"And your cousin, by the way?"

Talking about him used to give her split hairs but not anymore now that the problem had been cleanly resolved. In fact, she was looking mighty cheery. "He's a lot more reasonable now. He's no longer the clingy guy he used to be. He still has some kinks to his personality that need ironing out, but at least he's not coming after me anymore."

"Heh… Finally got that cloud off your mind, huh?"

"You bet!"

I spent a long time chatting with her, partly because I was entertaining a friend, and partly because there was nothing else to do at the moment. After we were done with ramen we wandered around the city and presently found ourselves standing in front of the entrance of an amusement park. From here we could catch a glimpse of a merry-go-round and the Ferris wheel – or simply The Wheel as many of us liked to call it. We heard the screams of people who were brave – or foolish – enough to ride the roller coaster. I glanced over at Shiki, and she had this nervous smile on her face.

Absentmindedly I strung words together. "So… the amusement park, huh."

"Yeah, brings back memories."

"Childhood memories?"

"It's nice to see that this place is still standing," she sighed dreamily. "Last time I was here, I was still in high school. We went on The Wheel."

"Was it fun? Wait… 'We'?"

"Huh? Oh, you don't remember, do you…" With a deepening red tint on her cheeks, she said, "Beat, Rhyme and Eri bundled the two of us into one of the cars on The Wheel. It was really embarrassing, but the ride was still cool… and… yeah."

No, I do remember… When we were hoisted high up in the air, I was happy, and so was she. That's all in the past now though. If being here was going to brighten the spark of hope she was holding onto, then I'd rather be somewhere else. There's a certain other girl I was better off hitting on.

"Hey, Shiki," I said, "down the streets there's a really good bookstore… I bet you can find some books about fashion. Let's go check them out!"

The tone in her voice showed that she wasn't eager, and her hesitance made it clear that she wanted to stay. And true enough… "W-Wouldn't you like to try out the hoop toss, at least?"

"Um, but…"

"Y-You used to be on the baseball team, so I thought these kinds of games should be a piece of cake to you."

She was still talking as I stared at her.

"And… I mean, uh… I really liked how you pitched in all those matches back in school! So I was hoping to see if your skills are still in tip-top shape. Th-That, and, um…"

What would she say next?

"…I'll pay! I'll pay for the two of us!"

Getting desperate now? Oh, brother.

"Shiki," I said, defeated, "if you want to spend time at the amusement park, just say so. And don't worry, _I'll_ pay."

She perked up at once, like a dog being given a treat. "Really? So… we can check it out?"

"Sure. I haven't touched baseball for a long time, though. There's no guarantee I'll ace the hoop toss."

"Oh, it doesn't matter! So long as we have fun, right? Hee hee!"

There was a skip in her step as we walked in through the main gate, and she was as happy as a clam. I didn't intend to spend so much time with her, but it couldn't be helped.

Between her natural bashfulness and my own reluctance to go too far with her, we made our visit to the park a relatively safe and placid one. We didn't do any of the rides because they were the type to make you dizzy and we didn't want to risk showing the whole world what we ate minutes ago (hopefully you get my drift…), so we lingered around the game stands instead.

_Clunk._

In it went. The old geezer manning the hoop toss stand let out a cheerful cry, and with a few congratulatory words he handed me my prize, a stuffed toy in the form of a… uh… I didn't even know what to call this thing. We examined it from all angles, but we still couldn't identify the sort of creature this winged eyeball was supposed to be.

"Wh-What's this?" I asked, giving up.

"An ahriman," chuckled the stallholder. "Cute, innit?"

I took a sweeping glance at all the prizes lined up against the wall – horned devils and otherworldly monsters that were all cute in their grotesque ways. It wasn't the stuff that could give children nightmares, but…

"Your taste in stuffed toys," I said, "is… unique."

He just laughed it off. "I get told that a lot."

The ahriman in my hands stared back at me with its one great eye, fangs bared in a toothy grin.

I turned to Shiki. "Here, this is for you."

"Whuh? B-But… you won it… I couldn't possibly – "

"Nah, it's fine." I pressed it into her hands gently. "Mr Mew won't be so lonely with this little guy around. I just hope he's not allergic to monsters."

She giggled at my thoughtfulness and graciously accepted the ahriman as part of her family. Nestled in her arms, it was the very picture of contentedness… maybe. Something about its fuzzy appeal made it ripe for petting, and before I could stop myself, I actually reached out with one hand and patted it on the head. Anyone might find my behaviour strange but she thought it was amusing and broke out into a grin.

"Never thought you had a soft spot for soft toys. Cat's out of the bag now, it seems."

Only then did I see how weird I was and this hasty explanation was all I had to offer, "Ah, no, it's just… Eri has this teddy bear, see, and she's so attached to it that she's even taken to giving it a name… And she always makes me pet it. It's really silly."

"Ahaha… That's Eri for you."

I laughed. "I know, right? She's a treasure trove of eccentricities."

"Mm-hmm, yeah…"

Did the atmosphere thicken a little? It felt that way the moment I mentioned Eri. But Shiki seemingly didn't think anything of it, and her usual nice self prevailed.

"Oh, um… Neku, let's try that one next!"

"Shiki? Ow! I'm coming… You don't have to pull so hard!"

Whether I liked it or not, this was turning into a full-fledged date pretty fast. First ramen and now an outing at the local amusement park? I was drifting further and further away from Eri… and I was helpless to stop the wheel of fate. It was going on autopilot, and the speed was stuck at fast.

There had to be a way out of this vicious cycle. But I had to find it quickly.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Sh-Shiki, why'd we have to end up in here?"

"Oh, c'mon," she pouted, "the Haunted House is one of the best attractions! It never gets old! You wouldn't have lived if you haven't gone through it at least once in your life."

"I wouldn't have _lived_ otherwise? I'm about to _die_ from fright!"

Jump scares and horror movies were my greatest weaknesses. Whenever a decayed ghoul appeared onscreen, I would immediately shrink into a fetal position and pray that everything would be alright. It's a bit more tolerable in a cineplex, because at least the horrors were restricted to a screen. But here in the Haunted House those same creepy somethings were right in my face like the real deal and I was screaming louder than even Shiki. Actually, much as I hated to admit, she was holding up better than me.

An arm shot out at me from a hole in the wall. Rotten flesh hung limp from it in strips and pieces. That in particular gave me a huge fright.

"Gah! Get away from me! Get off get off get off get off…!"

"Neku, Neku! Calm down! It's just a – "

"I know, Shiki. I-It's all artificial… But, well… It was a gut reaction…"

"Pretty explosive for a gut – "

"AAAAAARRGGHH! ! !" There was a corpse pinned to the ceiling!

"– reaction."

"S-Sorry. I'm no good with these things. Really, it just freaks the heck out of me."

"No, no, I'm sorry for dragging you here. I didn't think you'd be so scared. But don't worry! The exit is just a little farther from here. You just need to calm down and take deep breaths. We'll be out in no time at all, trust me!"

My shoulders slumped in shame.

She cocked her head to one side in puzzlement. "What's the matter, Neku?"

"Being comforted by a girl," I mumbled sadly, "is just so uncool. I'm hardly a man anymore…"

She laughed softly. "As long as we stick together, we'll be alright!"

I didn't look where I was going and walked right into another rotting arm. This time the shock was so bad that I thought the whole world heard me.

"AAAAAIIIEEE! ! !"

Shiki tried in vain to calm me down again. "We're getting outta here soon! You just have to relax! When you think about it, this whole place is just cardboard props and fake blood! Nothing's real! There's no need to be so scared, really!"

"J-Just tell me when the whole thing is over."

There was a light at the end of the twisted corridor, in both the literal and figurative sense. I just needed to follow it, and try not to bump into anything unsavory, and I'd be out of that hellhole. That's right… Just a few meters more…

I might have tripped over a few things here and there, but eventually, to my relief and delight, we were standing right in front of the exit. Freedom was just a curtain away! Without wasting a second more, I grabbed it and whisked it aside with a vengeance. No more scary stuff for me, thank you very much. I've already shaved enough years off of my lifespan watching horror flicks with Eri!

Speaking of which, when we emerged into friendlier surroundings again, she was right outside. I almost wanted to dive back into the Haunted House. Almost.

Eri was milling around the place nibbling on a crepe, with Beat in tow. How many times did our 'chance' encounters have to happen in one day? When she saw me, she looked startled for a moment – she even nearly dropped her crepe – and then she tried to veer her poor chaperone in the opposite direction. Curiously, she didn't seem in such a bad mood anymore, but more like she was desperate to stay away for the time being. Poor Shiki wanted to call out to her buddy, but stopped, confused at her arctic-cold attitude.

Beat, however, refused to budge (and with that heavy body of his, it wasn't at all difficult). He bellowed my name with a wave of his hand. "Oi, Phones! Nice timing. Get o'er here, man! …You too, Eri."

She shrunk behind his back, muttering uneasily, "D-Do I have to – "

There was a serious edge in his voice. "Girl… Even you gotta know you can't keep bein' like this. He's hurtin' too, yo. As much as you, maybe more."

This exchange puzzled Shiki, who was more of a bystander than anything since she didn't understand the whole story. As for Beat, well… He must have asked to know everything from Eri. Whether he really got the gist of the situation or not I couldn't tell, but he knew for sure that I had a thing for her and that the vice versa was probably true, so when he saw that we weren't on good terms, he must have taken it upon himself to get us to make peace.

"C'mon, Eri," he pleaded. "You ain't gonna know till you listen."

It was an eternity of five or so seconds before she reluctantly approached me at a snail's pace. Way to go, Beat! Maybe I could finally say something to her. Just when I thought the ice queen was starting to thaw, the sight of me together with Shiki caught her attention and she backed away again in dismay.

She shook her head. "I-I'm sorry… There's… There's stuff I gotta do. I have to go."

And then, like a frightened horse, she bolted. Damn, did she have super powers or something? One moment she was here, the next she was nowhere to be seen. This was getting so tiring. It'd be nice to just go home right now and take a much-needed nap, but how could I possibly do that when I had unfinished business to take care of?

"Um, guys?" began Shiki. "What's going on? Mind telling me?" She was wading in the dark and would appreciate it if I told her the truth.

"Huh? Um, well… How should I put – "

My eyes were darting this way and that trying to put together a solid explanation. That's when I saw that Eri was back and right beside us. All three of us saw her. And we freaked out. Especially Beat. Wasn't she miles away just seconds earlier? ! She had to be Wally West's long-lost cousin to make it back _this_ fast!

I didn't stay dumbfounded for too long, but was too slow to call out to her again.

"Here." She hurriedly pressed her half-eaten crepe into Beat's hands. "And thanks for coming with me today."

He glanced at his impromptu present but wasn't thrilled to receive it. "Girl, I'm all for not wastin' food, but I don't like crepes – "

But Eri had long gone. All that was left… was the wind. Done like a true ninja.

She didn't even look my way. I thought for one painfully brief moment that she did, but I guess it was just my imagination. I was probably the last thing she wanted to look at.

Beat was most sympathetic. "Sorry about everything, yo. Sorry it didn't work out. I'da made good things happen if I's a bit more… uh… perchansive?"

"You meant persuasive, I'm guessing," I said. "But nah, don't sweat it, man. It's fine. I'll find a way."

Shiki piped up, tired of being left out of the loop. "Um, can anyone tell me what's happening? Eri didn't seem her usual cheery self, and that makes me worried." Indeed, she deserved an explanation, and about time too. Because she was a key player in this matter.

"Aight, man. I gotta dash, yo. Slide me some good news later." Then my gallant skater friend left and it was up to my lonesome self to put a lid to this fiasco.

Shiki tugged at my sleeve, seeing that I was in a dazed state. "Neku… Hey, are you here with me?"

She was the first obstacle that I needed to clear. The first hurdle I had to jump over. …It was a pretty high hurdle. But if I didn't do this, I couldn't pave the path to better things.

"Shiki, can we talk for a bit?"

XOXOXOXOXO

We left the amusement park and retired to the roof of a three-storey building. Getting here required going out of our way a little, but here we could have all the privacy we wanted. As an added bonus, the city scenery was a feast for the eyes and helped me to relax.

Shiki let her breath out slowly through her teeth, producing a hissing noise. Maybe she knew that she was destined to hear about something that wasn't all milk and sunshine, and was bracing herself for it. "I'm ready to listen," she said at last. "What's the story? Surely you must know what's up her butt…"

I laid down the brief foundation of facts that made my explanation easier to understand. The first thing I told her was that Eri made a living masquerading as Seishirou-sama, which totally took her by surprise.

"Eri is…? !" She couldn't even finish what she was saying, dumbstruck as she was.

"You've got to keep it a secret. I was made to promise not to tell anyone. Don't ask her about it, okay?"

"Alright, I'll keep mum. But… Eri really is Seishirou-sama? ! I couldn't tell at all!" Then she had a weird thought. "Wait, I used to be a big fan. D-Does this mean that at some point, I was gushing over a _girl?_"

"Uh, I'll leave the heavy thinking up to you…"

"So… it was her who served us during last night's dinner. Gosh! Hang on, I get that she's a part-time butler but what's this got to do with anything, Neku?"

This was the squeamish part. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my head as clear as possible, bracing myself for any undesirable reactions from her.

"When she saw us at dinner like that, she had no idea we were just pretending to be a couple, and, well… she got kinda jealous."

"J-Jealous?"

"Eri and I have been real close as of late. We're quite attached to each other. But it's because of this that she isn't too hot on the idea of me going out with someone else, and for that matter… neither am I."

Shiki's facial expression didn't change much, but I could see the inner conflicts raging in her soul. I was being awfully subtle so I was afraid she might not get my drift yet, but it appeared that she was slowly beginning to understand how things really worked between myself and our bubblegum-haired friend.

"I've tried countless times today," I said, "to explain to her what she saw, and to… um, clear my name, so to speak. But she's being awfully stubborn and wouldn't listen to me. So we're in a bad way now."

Images of a certain previous event started to play inside my head; months ago when I found out Shiki had a boyfriend, the whole world crumbled around me. I no longer had a chance with the girl I liked back then. My soul was crushed down to the size of a pinhead… Was this the exact feeling she must be suffering now? It took a few stagnant seconds for her to think of the right words to say. Her voice came out in starts and stops and it was clear the revelation was something she'd rather not hear.

"Y-You sound like you guys are in a serious relationship. Even if nothing's official, it seems that way already. That's… That's how much you like her, huh?"

My stomach lurched with every word I uttered but I persevered for the sake of a future with the girl I loved.

"Eri's a bit of a mixed bag," I said. "On one hand, she has all these crazy traits that might put a normal person off. She's eccentric… always gets these weird ideas in her head and then expects me to play along with them, even if it'd land us in trouble or put us in clunky situations. In that regard, she's also very unreasonable." I chuckled a little, thinking back to all the things she made me do. "And she's a big pervert on top of that. Got no real shame to speak of.

"On the other hand, however, she's not so bad once you get to know her. Sure, she can be a real pain in the butt if she feels like it, but she's got her good points too. For one thing, she's a hard worker. Eri couldn't cook a single thing before, but ever since she's started taking cooking lessons from me, she hasn't stopped practicing in the kitchen. That proactive attitude of hers… I initially thought she used it only for her stupid ideas, but I stand corrected now. Plus she has a good heart. There were times when I felt down, and she was there to lift my chin up. I'm grateful that she really cares about me.

"What I just said merely scratches the surface of how much good I see in her. All I can say is she's a great person. That's why… That's why I…" The words had some sort of inertia to them. The more I spoke the harder it became. Just a bit more… I had to say this and say it I did.

"That's why I love Eri! I want to be the man by her side. No matter how much she may hate me now, I've got to go after her."

In a wistful dreamy sort of way, I leaned against the railing and looked out over the city. The sky was painted with the golden hue of a late afternoon. Give it another hour, and it'd be dark.

"She's waiting for me," I said. "I'm positive she is. I'm confident we can make things right again, and then maybe… just maybe…"

I struggled for a second and glanced at Shiki.

"…And then maybe we wouldn't need to pretend anymore the next time we go on a date."

What went on through her mind? There were neither tears nor any indication that she was tragically sad, only the deflation of defeat. Could she return to her usual self? She was a strong girl, right? She'd been through thick and thin with me and I had seen her determination. Luckily, my faith in her wasn't misplaced.

"Neku," she said, "are you certain?"

"I'm… I'm certain."

"For sure? You really do love Eri?"

"Yes. I need her."

She joined me to lean with her back against the railing, and let out a sigh. "Whew! Well, at least now I know where I'm headed."

"Huh?"

All the way up. Her neck was craned all the way up to look at the amber sky, and there was a small smile to go with her face, like she was trying her best to push forward to better things. "You know, Neku… back in the autumn when you rejected my confession, I thought that was it. I tried to get over it and treat you as a friend again, but no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking of you.

"'One more time!' That's what I told myself. I made a promise… to try my very best to get you to see me in a different way. If there was even the slightest chance for romance between us, I should grab it. Ahaha… Ironically, that's something Eri would say to me, isn't it?" Realising it could be taken in offense, she said hastily, "Sorry, that came out wrong. I didn't mean to make it sound in poor taste."

"No, that's fine, Shiki. It's alright."

"So, um, I wanted to have another shot with you. I kinda figured you and Eri had a thing going on… I could tell from the way you keep talking about her. But I decided to take the plunge anyway, even though that meant she'd become my rival. And I made it clear to myself that if I couldn't make you my boyfriend this time, then I'd accept this as my loss and move on."

"Shiki…" The girl's determination was something…

"And now that I know who you're gunning for, I think I can finally relax!" She stretched out her tired arms. "I don't need to feel so tense or envious anymore, because I don't need to keep going down this path. This is not where my destiny lies, so I'll just choose another path… seek out a new relationship."

I nodded approvingly. "That's… good to hear. Don't worry, I know you'll do fine."

Shiki faced me and bowed slightly. "Thanks for everything, Neku. Thanks for putting my heart at ease. Like I said, I know where I'm headed in life now. But before that…" Now she wore a firm expression. "…I have a favour to ask of you. Please… allow me to be a bit selfish. It wouldn't take two seconds."

"Wha…?"

Suddenly the winter wind kicked up and slammed me in the chest. The chill caused me to instinctively squeeze my eyes shut. When I pried them open again, she was right in front of me. I could have jumped back in shock, but she was faster. Her lips pressed against my cheek where they stayed for a few seconds, and then it was over.

Of course I was stunned. As I reached up to touch the part where she had kissed me, she proclaimed, "Now, I can finally let go of the past. Sorry for all the trouble I've caused you and Eri, and thank you… again. Oh! And thanks for Mr Eye too!" She gave her ahriman a loving squeeze. So it already got a name…

"Ah, um… You're welcome, I guess?"

In an instant, she was back to being the usual Shiki with a smidge of playfulness. "And that's that! We're still friends. That'll never change. Oh, by the way, it probably wouldn't be anytime soon, but somewhere down the line when I snag myself a boyfriend, I'll make sure he's tons better than you!" She even gave me a feather-light punch to the chest.

I laughed, relieved that everything had resolved in the best possible way. "Heh, that's the spirit. Good luck."

"Um… one more thing, Neku."

"Yeah?"

"Don't you need to chase after someone?"

My mind leapt into overdrive in a millisecond. In the midst of the drama I had totally forgotten about Eri! I had to find her and clarify things by today.

"I gotta go, Shiki. Take care!" But before I could take a running start, she stopped me with a rational thought.

"Hang on, you don't even know where she is! You can't expect to dive into a haystack and find that needle."

Dammit… That's true.

Twice she pressed her cell phone to her ear, and twice she got no answer. She had tried calling her friend, but just as I guessed, it was of no use. Shiki shook her head sadly. "I'm not getting anything from her. Neku, I… I'm so sorry. It's because of me that this happened. I shouldn't have asked you to help me with my cousin."

"No!" I corrected her. "No, it's not your fault. Everyone was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. No one could have predicted she'd be working on a day that's not normally covered by her shift."

"She'd have to go home eventually. Maybe you could try checking out her place?"

"But she might decide to stay over at a friend's house…"

"Y-You have a point there."

We went through all the possible methods to tackle my dilemma, but each potential solution failed to make the cut. I was a man working on borrowed time. And it was going to get dark soon too, which made me even more worried. Not just for myself but for her too. Just when it seemed like all was lost, however, I had a brainwave. As though some higher being had put the spark back in my light bulb, I knew just what to do.

"Actually," I said, "I think I have an idea where Eri might be."

XOXOXOXOXO

It was a long shot. Like, Great-Wall-of-China-long. I hoped to find Eri where I was going, but there's no telling if I'd even be remotely correct with my gut. It's just something I put my trust in, something I had to try.

So down the streets I ran, a lone man on a mission. My lungs were aching. Pain gripped my leg muscles. Body turning to jelly. And the sky had turned quite black already. Nothing could stop me though. I went back to the residential area where we were neighbours, but my destination was not her house. No, there was another place I had in mind. It's just around the corner… Almost there…

I found myself in a public playground. As I tried to calm my laboured breathing, I scanned the place. A slide here, a seesaw there, monkey ladders on the far side… On a fine day there'd be children playing and having fun, but at this time of the evening it was deserted.

The street lamps shone like oases in the blackness. And within one of those oases was a set of swings.

Sitting in one of the seats was Eri, looking so lost in thought she didn't notice me until I was mere feet away from her. That's when she lifted her head and saw me. She was visibly surprised. As for me? I was just too relieved for words. Relieved and exhausted. I was nearly doubled over, panting terribly.

"H-How did you manage to find me?" was the first thing she said. And she really wanted to know.

I needed a while to get my breathing under control before I could explain myself. "Ever since high school, whenever you were especially angry or depressed or you simply wanted to think, you'd come here to clear your head."

She was mumbling half to herself. "Then I need to stop being so predictable. Oh well, why don't you have a seat?"

"Only if you don't run away again." I plopped down on the seat next to hers, grateful for a chance to rest my legs. "I've had enough of marathons."

"_I'm_ tired of running myself." In small slow arcs she let her feet dangle, and occasionally her boots would scrape the ground. "You know, during my 'date' with Beat, he asked what was wrong, and I didn't tell him. He didn't push the matter any further, which was good, but he did say that even if I was displeased with you, I shouldn't ignore you like I did."

Beat said that? Was it because of him that she was finally ready to calm down? Dude, you truly are a friend after all! Never mind that you ran off with her to have chili dogs; you probably did that for the benefit of your stomach anyway, so I'll forgive you.

"Sorry, Neku… I was out of line being so harsh to you. I refused to listen to you because I was scared."

"Scared?" I didn't understand. "Why? What do you mean?"

"Over the years our friendship has deepened to something more, something far richer. As this was happening, I… well, I'm not sure if this is the right way to put it, but… I started to grow selfish."

"Huh?"

"You're a pretty cool guy, you know, despite all of your obvious faults. And even with how different we are, we get along fine like peanut butter and jelly – no, much more than just fine. So you see, what we have forged together is really special, and I don't want to give it up. I quickly came to a point where I can't even bear the thought of handing you over to anyone, not even Shiki."

This told me an important fact: Eri didn't really see me as only a friend anymore, but as someone much closer. Close enough to be possessive. I could understand though. There were times when I too thought she belonged to me and no one else, and I would feel stressed whenever someone or something came along to disrupt the everyday routine of good times that we shared. We're in the same boat.

"You must think I get jealous easily, and you know what? On any other day, that might very well be true, but right now I'm just afraid I'll lose a good pal and then the special bond we have will disappear. I don't want that."

I thought hard about what she just said and chose my words with care. "Eri, there's nothing wrong with selfishness."

"Eh?"

"If you feel that strongly for someone, it's perfectly fine to be uneasy when, you know, a rival shows up."

She dipped her head ever so slightly, trying to hide the glow of her cheeks under the shadow of her cap.

"Back when we went on that onsen date," I said, "I was outraged that you seemed to contemplate hanging out with other guys when you already had, um, me. And we weren't even going out for real at the time." Making up with her was starting to sound strangely like I was revealing my feelings for her, but there was no better way I could think of to rephrase it. "I think what you're feeling now is the same as what I felt back then, so I can empathise. It's no fun, so I'm sorry I made you feel this way."

Her breath came out in a tongue of fog as she exhaled. "Glad to know you understand what I've been going through. But you still haven't told me why you were having dinner with Shiki in the first place."

Finally, a chance to clear up the misunderstanding! "I've been trying to tell you why ever since last night."

When the entire truth was fleshed out, she realized – belatedly – that she had been wrong, and lost no time dishing out the apologies at a rapid-fire pace. "Sorry, Neku," she gulped. "You were only helping a friend in need, so that's quite alright! That cousin of her was really pushy though." As relief washed over her in waves, her smile began to widen.

I suddenly remembered that she saw me with Shiki at the amusement park, and decided it'd be best to clarify this matter too while I was at it. If you have to do something, you have to do it properly, so they say. "Um, Eri… About this afternoon at the amusement park, actually I was…"

Her finger reached up and pressed on my lips gently; whenever she wanted me to be quiet for a bit, she'd do this suggestive little action, usually accompanying it with a wink and a knowing smile like now.

"Don't worry too much about it, Neku. I know the whole story now, so I can guess how things played out. 'Cause if I know Shiki, she only 'went out' with you today because she wanted to thank you for your help. That's how she works, you see? As her best friend for years, I should know this much."

"Oh, um, y-yeah, that's pretty spot-on…" Sort of. She got the gist of things quickly enough… Maybe there's no need to elaborate further on all the piddling details like the ramen meal or even Shiki openly giving up on me.

"Sorry, I should trust you more. Deep inside I know you're trustworthy, but I kept thinking otherwise. So… that's not nice of me."

"Don't worry about it. If I was in your shoes, I'd feel the same way. Anyway, that's over now." The sooner we got this over with the better it was for us. "And we're both cool again. That's what matters."

"Yeah!" And she was back to her preppy self. All of a sudden she perked up like she had recalled something. "H-Hey, wait a minute!"

"Huh? Wh-What is it?"

"I totally forgot that I kicked you in the groin! Sorry about that… Is it okay? Does it still hurt?"

"Um, no permanent damage as far as I can tell…"

"Hey, can't hurt to be sure. Right, shall we have a look?"

"D-Don't wiggle your fingers like that, man." My shoulders shuddered uneasily. "Freaks the heck out of me. And no, I can do it by myself."

"You sure? I wouldn't be long…"

"I insist you lay off my zipper!" And she laughed at that.

Eri was swinging to and fro gently all this time and now she dug her heels into the ground to stop. Then, when she rose from her seat, it was with a hop in her step like a bunny, only livelier. The Eri I knew and loved was back. This was more than good news to me.

And this was a sentiment she seconded fully. "All's well that ends well!" She twirled round on one foot and had a big smile for me. "We're still the most awesome team, right?"

"You don't even need to ask."

As soon as I got up she closed the distance and buried her head into my chest. I panicked a little, thinking she might be crying again, but I was thankfully mistaken. She just wanted a good hug. So that's exactly what I gave her. I could feel our relationship healing as the warmth of our bodies enveloped us from the cold. I knew no better bliss.

"Hey, is there anything special I can do to make it up to you?"

"Y-You don't need to go that far, Eri. Don't sweat it, really. That we're back together is enough for me."

"Yeah, I knew you'd say that," she said, lifting her face to look at me, "but I don't want to just do nothing when you've been through so much trouble because of me. There's got to be something. Think of something, please? Um, no sex though. We're both open-minded people here, and I think you're plenty cute, but – "

I spluttered, "We don't go that far yet!"

"'Yet'…?"

"Uh, no, I didn't mean anything by that! Nope. It's just your regular old slip of the tongue, ahaha! Silly me, right?"

Her eyes narrowed in exaggerated suspicion, though I could see the ghost of a mischievous smile. Whenever she gets wind of a mistake you made, she'd never let you go. And here it was just one word!

Ah, hang on, she was ready to do anything for me, right? In that case, I had an idea. The perfect chore for her, whether she was willing or not. No, she _had_ to be willing. I just knew.

"Okay, Eri. I have something that's right up your alley."

The glint in her eye shone so brightly I wished I had brought my sunglasses along. "Alright, let's hear it! Whatever it is, I can do it in any costume you desire!"

"I'm not that kind of fetishist," I chuckled. "You just need to tell me your answer."

"My… answer?"

I hardened the grip of my arms on her back, and I could feel her slender frame stiffen up as she waited, puzzled and curious to know the meaning of my request.

"Eri, when I confessed to you, you couldn't give me a reply right away, though you promised to tell me in time. For the past one or two months I have been waiting patiently…"

She fidgeted slightly, but my arms held her firmly in place. Admittedly, she didn't try to run. Taken in by the rosy atmosphere that was brewing like a broth, she clung closer until I could feel the crest of her bust pressing against my chest. Our hearts were pounding in unison. The sensation left me at a loss for words. But I couldn't very well stay in silent awe. I kept talking.

"I've just about reached my limit, however. That's why I would like – no, I _need_ to hear it from you. Please, Eri?"

There was a delay of a few moments when she wrestled for the right things to say. But she knew what I wanted.

"Say it again, Neku."

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Confess to me again," she whispered. "I want to hear it."

My insides lurched, but I'd been through this before. After all the hardships I'd endured, this should be a pushover.

"Eri, I love you."

She gulped. I could almost hear it.

"Do you really mean what you say, Neku?"

"Of course I mean it. I'm serious about you. I could even go into one of those long-drawn speeches about how you make me the happiest person in the world, but that's not my style and I'll just bore the pants off of you anyway. You just need to know that I want to be the man by your side."

Silence.

"Again, Neku. Say it one more time."

"Huh? Um…" I cleared my throat. "I love you."

"Again."

"I love you, Eri."

"Once more… P-Please, I need to hear this."

The girl was quivering. Finally her armour was crumbling away and I was getting through to her. But she needed that last push, so once I was done weighing my options, I fueled myself with a surge of courage… I didn't know what caused me to become so brave. Maybe it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Or maybe I was just sick of being so passive while she made all sorts of moves on me without any fear or shame. Yeah, I was envious of her. I secretly wanted to be as bold as she was, but fear always held me back. No more. With my confidence cranked up to eleven, I went and did it.

I dove in like a hawk, our mouths connecting. The whole world went psychedelic when I touched those amazingly tender lips of hers. Her voice tried to fight its way out, but was reduced to a mere mumble. It was cute how she couldn't speak at all. She went ramrod straight and I was afraid she might shove me away in disgust, but as five seconds turned into ten and then twenty and beyond, it was clear that she was here to stay.

She pulled away slowly, her face flushed, totally out of breath. It would be a while before she could talk again.

"Y-You dummy," she chided weakly. "The kiss comes _after_ the girl says yes to your confession, not the other way around. Way to mess up the whole procedure, Neku."

"Sorry, my bad." There was a stupid grin on my face and I couldn't wipe it off. "So… um, what's your answer?"

Her entire body bristled with the eagerness to continue where we had left off, and on any other day, she might have told me to shut up and keep kissing. Today, however, she finally put me out of my misery. I almost couldn't hear her over the sounds of the night; it was so soft.

"I… I love you too… Neku."

I gasped in delight. She said it! She actually felt the same way towards me as I did her, just as I thought. But it was a great relief to hear her say it out loud instead of dropping hints here and there and expecting me to get the idea. You have no clue how happy I was! I had half a mind to jump for joy and do a victory dance and shave my hair off in celebration and everything, but Eri wanted me to say something in reply. In fact she was waiting.

"Hello? Neku? …Oi."

"Ah, s-sorry… I've always been single, so my mind just kinda shut down thinking about all the changes that are bound to happen in my life from here on out. Wait, we _are_ going out now, right? As in you and me? Just wanna make sure."

She giggled. "What else would you be doing together with me?"

"Huh… Let's see. If I'm not being forced to watch horror films with you, or accompanying you to the nearest lingerie store, or getting embarrassed being spoon-fed by you in public, or scrubbing your back in the bathroom, or putting up with you going about your business in my house _naked_, or cleaning up the floor because I dirtied it with my nosebleeds… then yeah, I guess I'd be happily going out with you."

"Ha ha ha ha…! Oh, Neku, you really know how to make a girl laugh. More importantly…" She looked up at the skies, and I followed suit. "…it's starting to snow. Looks like it'll be a heavy one too."

"Ah…"

I had been so absorbed in the whole affair that I didn't even notice the snow that was drifting down on us. How… mesmerising. This really was the picture of beauty that I wanted. But she was right. Any longer out here, and we'd be a pair of soaked mice.

"Let's head back, Eri. It's getting late. Are you… um, staying over?"

"I sure am. You know my habits by now, Neku!"

"True that. Then let's talk some more later!"

We spent the walk back home arm in arm. This was the best day ever. My life of loneliness was finally over after twenty long years.

XOXOXOXOXO

A confession can be resolved in a few minutes. Yet, within the span of so little time, a whole world of possibilities can unfold. There were things that I wouldn't even think of doing with (or to) Eri before this, but now I was more or less free to do them with impunity. She was in the shower at the moment, and if I really wanted to, I could barge into the bathroom right now and say hi while she's in the middle of lathering herself up, but being naturally shameless she'd be all fine and dandy with it. But that didn't mean I had to do it! That wasn't my style.

Well, getting all hot and bothered waiting for her wasn't going to do me any good. No, I should meditate. Yes, my soul was like a meadow… My soul was like the wind on a cool, calm day. My soul was –

"Um, what're you up to, Neku?"

"Waagh!"

Eri's voice cut into my dream-like state. If that didn't already jolt me back into the real world, then the sight of her kneeling half-naked right in my face would. And it did. God, that lace was dynamite!

"Whoa, don't do that!" I said. "You gave me quite a shock there."

"Sorry. You looked so constipated I wondered what's up."

"How does meditation make it look like I've got a bowel problem? ! …Anyway, you're done with your shower, huh."

"Nothing like a hot bath on a cold day!" She stopped toweling her hair dry momentarily to do some quick stretches, which arched her body in suggestive ways. "Don't you want to take one too? You must be all sticky and sweaty after running so much today."

"I-I'll take one later."

"Then I'll join you! I can scrub your back."

My whole frame shuddered with mounting arousal. "Thanks, but I'll pass this time. It's kind of dangerous, frankly."

She fixed me with a puzzled gaze but was quick to toss the matter out of the way to focus on more important things. Being an uncompromising skinship lover, she had a habit of getting physically close to people whom she liked. And with me, whom she was in love with, she didn't even need to think twice about being even closer. She dispensed with my little bubble of privacy and proceeded to sit on my lap with a giggle and a wiggle of her butt. I was powerless to stop her. I probably didn't want to anyway.

"You're my favourite seat!" she said with that impish grin.

I faked disappointment. "So I'm just a chair to you?"

"Don't be silly. We all know chairs can't be as cute as you are."

"Well, I can't argue with that."

"Hee hee."

We stayed silent for a while, losing ourselves in the romance of the moment as we gradually explored the boundaries of our relationship on a physical level. Now, I swear, there was nothing particularly lewd going on between us. At the very most, she was pawing my chest gently while my hands took a liking to the small of her back. Simply touching that sweet spot was enough to send my heart into loop-de-loops. Eri and I never really touched each other like this before we started going out, so this was very refreshing, not to mention exciting.

"It's been a long winding road for both of us, huh?" she said at last.

I nodded. "…Yeah. We definitely had our ups and downs. But I'm glad everything worked out in the end."

"And now we're a couple. I've waited too long for this." A slight pause fell over us before she carried on. "I'm glad I met you, Neku. There may be no doubt that you're a living bundle of awkwardness…"

"Gee, thanks, Eri."

"…but even then, you have a lot of strong points. As blunt and brusque as you may be, you're probably the kindest person I've ever seen. And I know you can be trusted. Among other things."

"Th-That's how I am, yeah…"

"And that's what I like about you."

Now she clung so close our bodies were pressing into each other. Our foreheads were touching and her damp hair fell over my face like a curtain. The smell of shampoo was awfully refreshing. I wrapped my arms around her waist, cautious as ever because I still wasn't sure if I would be branded as a pervert otherwise, but when she purred her contentedness I squeezed her tighter. It's so awesome to be in love! I could say that sentence a hundred times and not get tired of it!

Eri continued in whispers, her breath tickling my cheeks. "I've been going out with guys left and right, hunting for my Prince Charming, but it's so ironic that it's hilarious… The perfect person you devote years to searching for is usually right beside you. It's only until fairly recently that I began to see you for the gem you truly are… Ha. Was that clichéd or what?"

I snorted, amused. "Damn right it is. But it works; that's all that matters. Besides, it's the same story for me."

"I know."

A warm sappy mood was quickly building up and there was an itch we were dying to satisfy… with our lips. No words needed to be spoken. It's like an unspoken rule that even I knew: when two people in love give each other _the_ look, kissing was bound to follow. Nearer and nearer our faces drew…

…but at the last moment, before it could be done, Eri gasped. "Ah! Hold on!"

Slight disappointment marred my evening when she bounced off of me to go over to the windows where she drew the curtains fully. I hurried to turn off the lights because she was still in a very indecently-dressed state and I was afraid she would be the target of roving eyes. When the room was sufficiently dimmed I felt better, but insisted on draping a dress shirt over her shoulders, an act she took to kindly.

"Thanks," she said. "That's nice of you."

"Don't just stand in front of the window like that," I pleaded. "Think about what you're wearing… or not wearing, for that matter."

"But Neku, look!" She ignored my argument and jabbed her finger towards the scenery outside. "It's still snowing! Isn't it beautiful?"

I saw no way to disagree with her. The neighbourhood was awash with a splash of white. The snowfall was somewhat thick and it was hard to see much of anything through it, making it feel like we were in a blizzard. But in my home, not only were we safe and warm, we also had each other for company. Our current circumstances moved me so much that I went ahead and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and I was glad to feel her snuggling up to me in response. We watched, trapped in a trance, as the snow came down.

My insides were bursting with joy and I couldn't contain myself any longer. I whispered the three magic words to her again.

"I love you."

Eri looked at me with a smile that could melt ice. "I love you too, Neku. But now… I want my revenge."

"Huh? What do you – _durff!_"

Eri was too fast for me. She didn't waste a second more and flung me onto the bed. The breath was knocked clean out of my lungs and as I lay dazed and recovering, she shrugged the dress shirt off her shoulders and clambered on all fours above me, causing some serious palpitations in my ribcage.

"Neku," she snarled tigress-like, "it seems I have to teach you a lesson."

"Wh-What lesson? Please tell me you're not going to take my virginity. My heart isn't – "

"Ooh, I like the sound of that." That sounded like bad news to me, and I began inching backwards out of fear for my own safety – hey, you can't blame me; she really looked like she wanted to get inside my pants! As she slunk after me, even the smallest and most insignificant of movements – like the feline sway of her hips – carried a strong sexual connotation. So here's a pearl of wisdom from me: if you're weak against flirtatious girls, don't give them any ideas!

When she started tugging at her bra straps provocatively, that was when the alarm bells in my head started ringing in overdrive. "Hey, hey, Eri! _Hey!_ No! We are not going there! We just started dating! There's no reason to – blargah!"

…Ugh, fell off the edge of the bed. And the first thing that connected with the floor… was my head. It hurt bad. My limbs were suspended in mid-air, giving me the appearance of a helpless beetle that had been flipped onto its back. Eri peered at me and gave a wry sigh.

"Neku, what the heck are you doing? For goodness' sake, I'm just kidding like usual."

"Are… Are you sure?"

"Sure I am! Trust me. I'm not gonna go that far! Do you think I'm going to attack you in the middle of the night, pluck off your jammies and chain you up? I don't think I'm so terrible a person, uh-uh!"

"When you talk in such a graphic manner, it doesn't sound very convincing, Eri…"

"No, really! Alright, fine. Let's rephrase things. Do I look that untrustworthy to you?"

"Well… you're kinda drooling…"

"Eh? No way! Come on, I wasn't – _*slurp*_ – drooling."

"You slurped."

"For real? …Ahahaha!" She burst into laughter, realizing her many slip-ups too late. "Ah, well, never mind about all that. How's your head? Sorry about that, by the way."

"I'll be fine. Can you help me up, though? …And no tickling."

"Aww, you saw through me. You're no fun!" And she laughed some more before getting me back on my feet.

Our comedy routine came to an end eventually; it was way past bedtime thanks to her antics. We shared one last glance at the snow outside, then it was time to close the curtains and settle under the covers. Using whatever little effort we had left to stay awake, we made small talk interspersed with occasional sweet nothings. It was plenty of fun flirting with each other so freely, but alas, fighting against our drooping eyelids did little good. Before sleep overcame us, I suddenly recalled that Eri had mentioned something about teaching me a lesson. Seeing as she was mostly docile from drowsiness, I figured now was a good time to ask. Figured she wouldn't try anything funny.

"Oh, that?" she mumbled. "I just wanted to enforce that you simply do not kiss the girl before she answers to your confession. You deserve a hundred – no, a thousand demerits for breaking that taboo! You hear me? You can't mess up like that ever again!"

"Bit late for that, isn't it?"

"Doesn't matter. Confessions come but only once. You can't botch 'em."

I chuckled. "I didn't botch this one. It's called 'creativity'."

"Ha! Says you." She curled up close. "I suppose a goodnight kiss will have to suffice for revenge… for now."

"H-How is a goodnight kiss revenge anyhow?"

"You ask too many questions," she laughed. "C'mere already."

Our happiness was complete. But this wasn't the end of the tale. The moment a relationship is forged between a boy and girl, that's when the story truly begins.

There would be times both good and bad in store for us. Things weren't going to be rosy all the time, but half the fun is seeing how well you can overcome the worst of situations with a smile on your face. And facing the odds with a lover by your side makes the going a lot easier. Some mistakes were bound to be unavoidable, but that's life. We just needed to stand up and walk side by side again.

Over the years I had come to take Eri's friendship for granted. No more. From now on, I promised myself, I would cherish her as a whole. I was going to make her happy. Every day would be a challenge in itself, but I was ready. And one day, should we take things further… I'd make sure we could do it with no regrets.

Taking things further, huh… Ha ha ha… That's just my man-brain at work again. But… let's be frank here: when we're dead serious about each other, it might just happen… You never know.

Just then, Eri – who had long dozed off – began to mumble in her sleep. Even for sleep talk, however, it was awfully strange.

"The tempura… has the same colour… as your hair… Neku."

Yeah… weird. Just like her.

But I was in love. And that's cool.

...

**Author's note:  
>Neku and Eri are together at last! But the story is not over yet. I have some ideas in my head that I simply must write down, so please continue to watch this space. I know it's not much of an author's note, but thanks to everyone who's been following this story! In the meantime, look out for chapter 30! See you soon!<strong>


	30. Anecdotes of an Odd Couple

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 30)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

_Ding-dong._

"Coming!"

_Ding-dong._

So early in the morning and already things were getting too hectic for their own good. I was zipping around my home getting ready and dressed for classes, but the doorbell wouldn't quit ringing and it was getting on my nerves. The person at my doorstep was probably Eri, waiting for me so we could walk to the bus stop together. And she didn't like to wait.

"I'll be there," I shouted at the front door, "in no time at all! Just hang on, will you? !"

_Ding-dong ding-dong ding-dong dingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdong…_

Yup. Definitely Eri.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" I whisked the door open. "Can't you be a bit more – "

She stabbed me in the nose with her finger, like my face was one giant button, and chirped mischievously:

"Ding-dong!"

"…Good morning to you too, Eri."

"I got tired of waiting," she said, taking her finger away, "so I decided to give you a speed boost."

"It can't kill you to be a bit more patient."

"But Neku, you have no idea how long I've been waiting. Ten! _That's_ how long! _Ten!_"

"Ten what? Minutes?"

"_Nanoseconds._"

"Oh boy."

The door was locked behind me and we were ready to set off for the day. "Neku, don't sigh like that so early in the morning! You've got the start the day with a smile!" She stretched my cheeks to create a grotesque mockery of one.

"That hurts."

"Now that's just uncooperative. What's a girl got to do to put a smile to a guy's face?" Shortly after she relieved my cheeks of further torment, she had a brainwave and grew a cunning smirk. "Oh well, if all else fails, there's always the age-old trick…"

Her hands reached behind my neck and interlocked to form a mesh. I knew what this meant.

"This is more like it," I said smilingly.

My hands found their way to her waist and our bodies pressed together. I leaned with my back against the nearby railing and she came even closer. In front of my door we lingered, chewing each other's lips into mush. It's always a great feeling. We could never bring ourselves to stop. Later, we kept telling ourselves. We'll stop, but a little later. Anyone who's procrastinated before will tell you though: put aside the important stuff for too long, and you'll suffer.

Eri was moaning quite heavily. "Mmmh… Neku, mmm – huh?"

"Wh-What's up, Eri?"

"Pardon me if I'm wrong, but… isn't that the bus we're supposed to catch?"

I followed her line of sight and watched in horror as the bus chugged off down the road without us. My eyes went as wide as dinner plates and – I know it's a nice quiet morning, okay? But I had to scream. After all, it was completely our fault that this blunder had to happen.

"AAAH! THE BUS! ! !"

XOXOXOXOXO

I still remember the taste of Eri's lips when we kissed for the first time as a genuine couple. That was a week ago. It would mark the beginning of what I knew would be a beautiful relationship. It's not the stuff of fairy tales, but they did always say there's beauty in imperfection.

The funny thing about us being in a relationship was that, save for the flighty happiness we often got high on, little had changed. Eri was still the bolder half of this odd couple and would regularly make me fodder for her nonstop teasing. As the saner one, I was often charged with calming her down and throwing some sensibility into her crazy ideas. There was, however, a pleasant equilibrium to be had with our everyday straight man-funny man comedy act. You know how, when you're with a bunch of good friends chowing down on snacks late at night, even the most mundane objects and situations turn into a source of laughter and it's a lot of fun? It's hard to explain, but our relationship was something like that but on more or less a 24-hour basis. There's not a boring moment to be had.

It's only fair that I share a few of our lighter moments together, so let's begin.

"Neku!" she chimed. "I love you!"

"Er… um… I… I love you too."

"What's with that husky voice, hon? Did I stir up the feelings in your heart that much? Oh my…!"

I didn't make my voice purposely husky… I was just whispering. "L-Look, Eri? I'm just as happy as you are that we're in love…"

"Ooh, so great minds do think alike after all!"

"But… you could have left the fluffy stuff for later."

"Well… No time like the present, right?"

"Not when I'm having classes!" That's right… I was in the middle of a lecture, and she called me up just to exchange sweet nothings with me. That's just how batty she was! Then I remembered something. "Wait. Don't you have classes now too?"

"Yup! But it's fine!"

I couldn't slap myself in the forehead. It was suspicious enough that I was hunched over behind my desk trying to hide while talking on the phone (luckily I had chosen a seat at the back of the classroom). Some of my classmates were already staring. And I bet it was only a matter of time before the lecturer noticed too.

"Ugh. Eri…"

"Don't worry. I'm very good at talking stealthily!"

"That's not it…"

"When you get back home, want me to help you set up a bubble bath?"

"…I don't have a bathtub, Eri."

"I know. I just wanted to try saying it. Hee hee." For what purpose exactly? "What would you like for dinner this evening? I can whip something up for you, as long as we've covered it in our cooking lessons."

"Listen to me!" I snapped, exasperated. "I've got a class now. It's very important so I'm afraid I have to hang up. We'll talk later!"

"At least tell me what to cook," she pleaded. "Come on, please?"

More eyes were starting to look my way. That meant more ears to eavesdrop on me. Our hushed conversation was like a gravity well, gradually sucking in the attention of the class. I tried to lower my voice as much as I could, but it was to no avail. Nothing I did could save me at this point.

I scrambled to end the call as fast as I could. "O-Okay, fine, curry it is."

"Beef or chicken?"

"Chicken."

"You want it hot or – "

"Your call."

"Would you like me to wear the pink apron or the blue – "

Stop it! Just stop! "Uh, um… blue, uh, wait… pink. No, I mean, blue. Blue."

"Alright! I gotcha! Come over to my place after your classes and I'll have dinner ready for you. I'll be waiting for you in my cutest blue apron so watch out for that!"

"Th-Thank you. Bye."

"Later!"

The line went dead and I thought I was finally free, but fate had one last knife to stick into my butt.

"Sakuraba," bellowed the lecturer. He was understandably cross. Kuh…! "Keep the romance out of my classroom. I'm conducting a lesson here."

The whole class tittered. Well, when your girlfriend's slightly insane, this is stuff you can expect to see on pretty much a daily basis. No rest for the weary, huh…

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri placed great emphasis on participation in our relationship. If at all possible, we'd try to do stuff together, because everything's a lot more fun with two people. Some activities, like cooking and going on shopping trips to the supermarket, were a mutual effort both of us were fond of. Others, though…

"No, Eri! Like heck I'm gonna sit through another one of your horror movies. We've watched two in this afternoon alone, and that's quite enough!"

"But today's Horror Movie Marathon Day!" she protested. "It's customary to watch scary films in succession on this day. Besides, you've yet to experience the goodness that is the director's cut of _Bloodbath Mansion_… Neku, we aren't even started. We're looking at _three_ more movies at the very least!"

"Three? ! No way. My voice is hoarse from screaming!"

"But that's part of the fun!"

"Why don't we watch a movie that _I_ want to watch instead? It's not fair for you to hog the TV all to yourself."

The novelty of a fresh idea wowed her. With an almighty gasp, she gushed, "Ooh, I like it when we mix up our routine a bit! Alright, what've you got? What horror film do you recommend?"

"We're not watching any scary movies."

"What? Why? !"

"Period."

"Like I said, why? ! It's a real thrill! Why do you think the horror genre even exists? It's to tap into people's innate desire to be frightened out of their wits! Trust me, deep down everyone – no exception! – loves to be scared."

"Sounds fishy, that claim… Let's go with something happier, shall we? All those cheap deaths and supernatural stuff really suck the life out of me."

A disappointed Eri groaned like a buffalo, but she laughed it off quickly.

"You're no fun." She poked me in the cheek. "So what are you looking to tickle my fancy with?"

"I was thinking of this." I fished out a DVD from the TV cabinet and jumped back to the couch. "_Shibuya Sentinel_! It's one of my favourites. Let's watch this one!"

Eri examined the DVD case and glided through the synopsis printed on the back cover. "Isn't this the one about robots and stuff?"

Being a hot-blooded fan of the film, I sought to correct her, hoping to ignite interest in her in the process.

"It's not just about 'robots and stuff'!" I said dramatically. "It's about friendship and cooperation and fighting spirit! What I like is how, even when the setting of the film isn't realistic, the relationships between the heroes are. For example, Tetsuya and Sanada hate each other's guts from the get-go, but over time they learn to work together and eventually achieve a true – "

"Whoa, time out." She held up her hands. "I don't need to know all the details. I don't want to know either."

"And you say I'm no fun…" Then I realized something. "Hey, side question… I noticed you've been coming in sober more often these days… What's up?"

Her face lit up like she had been waiting to pounce on the right moment to tell me something amazing. "Oh, did I not tell you, Neku? I've quit drinking."

I was completely taken by surprise. Eri's the type of person who wouldn't leave a can of beer at peace for more than five seconds, and here she was telling me that she had kicked the habit? I could scarcely believe it. In fact, I was unsure whether she was joking or not.

"So you quit, Eri? Just up and quit? I dunno about that… You've always struck me as a hardcore drinker."

She smiled. "True, my beer-guzzling ways are pretty infamous. But I swear I'm a teetotaler now. I tossed out my last beers four days ago."

"Really? No cold turkey?"

"I do get cravings now and again," she admitted, "but all I need to do is think about you, and I never need to take a single drop!"

"M-Me?" I pointed at myself with a faltering finger. "What do you mean by that?"

"I did some thinking," she said softly. "Whenever I get drunk and stagger back here to sleep, I cause you an awful lot of trouble afterwards, don't I? You've done so much for me… dealing with my impromptu stripteases, dragging me to bed, even washing my dirty clothes while I was asleep. And… um, I just realized that all this time I took you for granted."

"Eh?"

"The more I got to know you, the more my trust in you grew. But I came to want you to provide me with the same hospitality you showed on the very first night I stayed over. Even though I never asked you to do all those things for me, you still went ahead and did, and after a while of the princess treatment it felt odd for me if you left me to sleep on the couch or forgot to do my laundry. I'd wake up the next morning expecting everything to be nicely done and in the right places…

"Ahahaha… But I'm different now. I want to change. I'm _changing_. I want you to be able to look at me and see a good girlfriend whom you can love and be proud of and, well, brag about to the rest of your friends! If you can see me that way, nothing would make me happier. That's why I've set my foot down and decided never to cause you any unnecessary headaches again, and the first step to that is to banish alcohol from my life forever."

If her determination was the real thing, then that's a swell thing. But I never thought I would have such a huge impact on her. It felt twelve kinds of good to know I was indirectly helping another person to improve.

"What you're doing is great, Eri. But tell me something… What do you drink nowadays, in place of booze? Surely you must have found yourself a new poison."

She gave me a cheery wink. "Well, I've taken a liking to yeast extract soup. It's got a rich, soothing and sexy taste."

S-Sexy? "O-Oh, right. That dark salty stuff. Yeah, I gotta say it's pretty good on a cold day."

"I know, right? Best part is, I can drink all I want, and not get anymore hangovers!"

Eri was doing her best. I should at least give her my support for being a hard worker… Before I could praise her, however, she shamelessly asked for it. Her behaviour reminded me of a toddler, thirsting for attention. "Well? Well? I'm a good girl, aren't I? I'm pretty awesome when it comes to personal development. Don't you think? What do you think?"

"I was about to commend you on how much you've grown, but you kinda ruined the momentum of things…"

"Oh, psh!" Just like her to shrug off such important things. "Neku, you can't go too slow in life sometimes! You get bored waiting! But I am doing well, aren't I? Neku?"

"Of course you are. If you really mean it, that is."

"Hmph. If I'm serious, I'm serious! You're looking at the new, reborn Eri Tanikawa! Now come on, while the iron is hot!" Her hand disappeared inside her tote bag and when it emerged, a sizable cylindrical tin dangled from her fingers. "Let's you and me hop on the good mood bandwagon and have a whale of a time scarfing these chocolates! 'Cause when we have fun, we do it together!"

I took a closer look at the tin that she was proudly holding. "Hmmm… _Passion Bursts_…" – that's the name of the product – "…velvety milk chocolate with a hint of peppermint, encased in a delicate spherical wafer shell. That's what it says. I don't really have a sweet tooth, but I have to say that sounds delicious."

"It _is_ delicious!" she snapped excitedly. Chocolate was her greatest weakness after fashion. "This will send you off to heaven with one bite! So what better way to celebrate my ascension as a better human being than with this?"

"Y-You bought this especially for this purpose?" I grew slightly uneasy. "Isn't this pricey? You don't need to blow a hole in your purse just to celebrate…"

Eri waved it off. "Don't mind, don't mind! It wouldn't hurt if I splurge every now and then!"

"…But you splurge all the time… on clothes and stuff…"

"H-Hey now! That's not splurging! That's called… uh…"

"Called what?"

Part of me was waiting to see what nonsense she could come up with. She had to take a while for that, though. In fact, she was stalling for time, clearing her throat and tucking away the odd strand of hair. And then…

"Neku," she said with a firm face, "what I do… is called _mandatory beautification_."

"What the heck does that even mean? !"

Oh, she wasn't done. That face still had that hard edge. "It means that, as a _responsibly attractive individual_, I am obligated to spend a portion of my funds to both _maintain my outer appearance_ and _ensure a steady influx of dopamine_ so that a _nervous breakdown_ will not be very likely in the near future."

I stared at her, stupefied.

"Uh, correct me if my aim is off? But you're basically saying that you're a fashion junkie… is that it?"

"My dear Sakuraba," she said, wagging her finger like a fussy school teacher, "such terms are unnecessarily derisive. The point is, I'm just – "

"Stop!" I yelped. "Enough with the horribly mangled expressions! You're not a lawyer!"

Her broad grin returned and so did her cheeky girl persona. "That's why we should talk less and indulge ourselves more! Come on, open that trap and eat one. Go on, say 'Ahhh'…"

I shrugged and pried my jaws ajar and she popped one of the chocolate spheres in. To be honest, I was slightly skeptical. I preferred salty foods, so I wasn't sure I could give this my love. Then, suddenly…! Suddenly I was besieged by a tidal wave of impossible sensations on my taste buds! The crunch of the wafer, the smoothness of the chocolate within as it melted on my tongue, and the refreshing peppermint breeze that filled my lungs and nostrils… Ah… No wonder Eri said this was amazing. It truly was a bite-sized stairway to heaven.

She dragged out each word, "So…? Is… it… good?"

"…This is the best chocolate ever."

"Hee hee… Told ya."

It was heaps of fun to chat about life over snacks. We even forgot all about her horror flicks. I knew how much she liked chcocolate, so I ate slowly and modestly, leaving the lion's portion for her. But she noticed eventually and urged me not to be shy and just eat to my heart's content.

"Good stuff is meant to be shared," she claimed. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah. Gee, Eri, you're blushing. What's with that?"

"I'm not blushing. It's just hot in here. Neku, turn on the air-conditioning, will you?"

"Whoa, not during the winter. I'll turn down the heating a bit instead, if that helps."

"Neku!" she grumbled. "I'm tellin' you. It's hot as heck!"

I pressed the palm of my hand on her forehead to gauge her body temperature. It was a bit warm, but hardly a pressing cause for concern. She's fine. Definitely not a fever. I shouldn't need to chill the place when it's already cold enough as it was.

But the funny thing was, I was starting to feel warm myself. Under my collar I was starting to get sweaty. Not only that, I was growing a bit dizzy. What's going on?

Eri's body was swaying like a tree. Her face was now totally flushed, and her eyes were glazed over, staring at nothing. Was she sick? Caught the flu bug somewhere? This _was_ the season to get colds…

"Eri, you okay?"

"Ehehe…!"

"Huh?"

"What're you sayin'? I'm as fit as a fibber!"

"…Fiddle."

"Middle? Middle what? Ahaha… Neku, you're funny, even if I don't get your joke. But whatever, eat up! These chocolates don't last long, boy!"

"H-Hang on…" I gulped. Ugh… My head was getting worse. "Hey, Eri! Uh…"

"Wha…? What'd you say?"

She lunged at me for no reason, almost knocking our heads together. Taken by surprise, I stumbled backwards, the small of my back hitting against the armrest of the couch. The impact rattled my brain inside the skull and it hurt. The pain wasn't severe but it felt like somebody bouncing a basketball inside my head, over and over. Definitely wasn't nice. And my vision shouldn't be this hazy either…

"Eri, I'm – _waagh? !_"

Why was she undoing the buttons on her shirt? ! She was having trouble too. Her fingers kept twisting her shirt in the wrong places. Was she _that_ dozy?

"Oi," she mumbled, "can't you see I'm trying to take off my clothes? Help me out here!"

"What? No! Stop – eh?"

The tin of chocolates was resting against her leg. The pretty packaging was blurring because of my increasingly fuzzy vision, so it was hard to focus much on anything. There was one thing that really caught my attention. In a corner of the main photograph was a text bubble… I tried to make out what those words were. I blinked a few times, hoping to clear out the fog and eventually I was granted a brief opportunity to see clearly.

In capital letters, they read, "CONTAINS 2% ALCOHOL".

These chocolates… that we'd been so happily eating… and bonding over… were laced with booze? !

No wonder… It explained everything! Why we felt strange… We ate a whole bunch too. Was this what it was like to be drunk? Slowly and surely I was losing my grip on sanity. Eri was completely gone as far as I could tell, and if I didn't do something while I still had my head together, I might join her into oblivion and the two of us would wind up doing something like…

_Eri licked my ear, taking great pains to trace the rim of my lobe. I moaned and tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn't let up._

"_Hold it, please!" I cried._

"_Neku," she whispered devilishly. "We've come this far already… We're not kids anymore."_

"_E-Eri…?"_

"_I don't want to wait any longer. Tonight, let's become one."_

Not happening! Not on my watch!

Okay, time was running out for me, but let's calm down and be rational. What were my options? I couldn't overpower her into submission; not only was that brutally uncouth, my muscles were too soggy to do much of anything anyway. Trying to reason with a drunkard was a waste of time, while playing along was a death sentence waiting to happen. I could call for help, but I'm not sure I wanted any of my friends to see us in this state. More importantly, though, my phone was all the way in my room, and Eri was sitting on me, refusing to budge. I couldn't get it even if I wanted to.

So I was stuck. In more ways than one.

While I was busy racking my brains, Eri had stripped off not only her shirt but her pants as well. I just never noticed the whole thing happening, I guess.

"Whew! Ha ha ha! I feel a lot better now! Thanks a bunch, Neku!" She fanned herself with one hand, her laughter heady and sounding very silly.

"I should've known. You're… wasted, huh…"

"No, I'm not," she huffed. "Look, I can even count to ten, no problem. A, B, C, D, ten! See? !"

"Definitely wasted." And it's only from these stupid chocolates!

"Oi, Neku… You don't look too good yourself. Don't you worry… I'll help you get all nice and cool in a sec!"

"Huh? Hey, w-wait! Don't take off my – !"

Eri was a self-proclaimed pro at speed-stripping. Five seconds flat, she once boasted. That was the time she needed to strip anyone down to their underwear. Today I witnessed first-hand the wonders of her dexterity. I remembered struggling a little as her fingers went to work. Then suddenly it was over… and all I had on was my boxers. I swore.

"Oh my," slurped Eri. "You're lean, but tasty… spring chicken-style."

"Gimme my… ugh… You can't just… eugh." No good. Getting dizzier. Getting harder to string proper sentences together.

"What did you say?"

My brain was melting. I desperately plucked at random words in hopes of saying something that made sense. In the end, I came up with:

"…Your bra… is very sexy."

What… What did I just say? !

Ack, too late. She heard that. And it was making her act even stranger. She trained her unsteady eye at me, before her lips stretched into a goofy (if slightly twisted) grin.

"Ooh, interested? This is the latest entry in the Super V series. Cute, eh? Everyone should wear it. You should try it too!"

"Why not." Huh? !

"So brave!" she giggled. "Yeah, that's right. Set your mind free and everything will follow… I think it goes like that, or… eh."

It was like someone had taken over my body and was spouting all sorts of nonsense in my stead. I listened in horror to the things that were coming out of my mouth. I was a hapless spectator to my own body. Never mess with alcohol, ever!

I willed my remaining strength to squeeze out a few last words which I wished would be the saviors to pull me out of this nightmare.

"Please be gentle…"

That's not what I wanted to say! Was I that hopeless? !

That was the final nail in my coffin. Eri's grin already looked worrying enough before. Now it widened to epic proportions and it was quite unsettling seeing her lick her chops.

"Hee hee hee… Oh, don't you worry one bit. I'm not going to let you sleep tonight though… It'll be awesome. So now… it's dinner time!"

Gah! This was the end!

My strength gave out. My mind was going. And Eri took her sweet time, savouring me like a giant stick of ice-cream. Her tongue was lapping all over my face in quick cat-like licks.

"Exquisite," she drawled dementedly. Then she moved further up to the bridge of my nose.

At that moment, a wave of acute pain seized my groin. No… It's easy to mistake this as us consummating our relationship, but the truth was a lot less glamorous.

Eri had tried to get into a better position to lick my forehead, and while she was moving around, she accidentally sank her knee into my groin and crushed it. The entirety of her body weight was pressed down on my precious area. The pain was unbelievable. I had pancakes down below!

I screamed. So loudly, in fact, that even the muddleheaded Eri was startled.

"Whuh? Neku? Whassamatter? !"

She unintentionally shifted her leg away and left my groin at peace but it was still on fire. I was this close to killing myself. Why did I have to suffer this fate just barely a week after she kicked me in the same area? !

On the plus side, it had the unexpected side effect of sobering me up. If there was still alcohol in my bloodstream, I definitely didn't feel it now.

As for Eri, well… she didn't stick around for too long. The girl fell asleep swiftly. Her tired body flopped on top of mine. I waited for something else to happen but fortunately I was in the clear. She was out cold.

That was too close.

The whole episode got me wondering if she really got over drinking for good.

Fast forward to next morning. I was on the couch, sitting very gingerly with a cup of cocoa in hand, making sure not to make any sudden movements to hurt my sensitive parts even more. Eri, all groggy and zombie-like, came out of the spare bedroom where I had carried her to last night. When she shuffled into the living room she was just in time to witness a peculiar sight.

"Neku? Wh-What's that bag of ice doing on your junk?"

I heaved a sigh.

"It's a long story."

After she knew the truth, she apologized profusely and promised to be more careful in the future and not buy anymore liquor-filled chocolates, though she did make it clear that she still had no intention to drink again. Only time would tell if her words could stay true in the long term.

XOXOXOXOXO

Despite her quirks, Eri's no different from the average human being, really. She's not some all-forgiving god. Say the wrong things and she could get hurt, so she's awfully sensitive too. I was usually very careful with everything in general, but… sometimes when she freaks out, it's not even my fault.

"And welcome to the Special Winter Collection Swimwear Show… courtesy of yours truly, the relentlessly amazing Eri Tanikawa! Round of applause, please!"

She struck a haughty pose, head held high. Her body language demanded a show of appreciation which I was only too happy to oblige with. I clapped for her, but it wasn't enough to satisfy her lust for attention.

"Ahem! Some vocal gratitude would be nice."

"Using that scarf as a makeshift bikini top is a clever touch, Eri."

"Well now, that's more like it! Ohohoho!"

Our plans to go out on a date today were derailed by the bad weather. It was cold and blustery outside. No one would be out and about on the streets. Eri's resourcefulness led to the outlandish idea of holding an improvised fashion show in my living room to weather the storm. The bikini she was wearing would be one of many.

"You look fantastic," I said approvingly. "Just be careful not to inflate that ego too much. I can't help you if your head explodes."

"I can't help you if your nose explodes," she retorted with a laugh.

She got me there… It was straining indeed but I bravely fought it down. "Alright, that's your win."

"Got this baby down at Molco, by the way." She twirled round, eager to gave me an eyeful of her perky behind. "It was super-cheap too so that makes me doubly lucky. Ha! When it comes to sniffing out the best bargains, you can't stand up to the smarts of me!"

"I'll be sure to take you along with me next time I go shopping for clothes. Maybe your bloodhound senses could help me snag a solid deal."

"Good thinking. I can get you a mean bikini if you just let me." More girlish laughter. "Or at least a frilly bra to go with your manliness."

"Stop. You're going to give us both nightmares."

"Ha ha…! You're probably right. Alright, ready for the next one? I got a whole bunch of swimsuits that I want you to see. Give me your honest opinion too, okay? I need a guy's perspective to know which ones really leave a lasting impression."

"That's all I need to do so I can sit back and enjoy the show? I'm in."

"Groovy!" She was in high spirits. "Oh, before I forget… Here, put this on first."

Eri slipped a blindfold over my eyes and the world around me went dark.

"You'll want that while I'm changing," she said, "though if you don't want to use it, I'm not going to stop you… hee hee. It's nice to have choices in life, isn't it?"

Amidst her perverted giggles, I was firm in voicing my decision. "I-I'll stick with the safer way for now, thank you very much."

Really? Was it really that much safer? The average person views the surroundings with five senses – sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. Lose one of them, and the others become heightened in sensitivity to compensate. My blindness caused me to grow even more aware of everything. I could hear what little of her clothes rustling as she took them off, and that's just the start!

But that wasn't the hardest of my trials. What was the use of a blindfold if I could still see her in my mind's eye? You could slap down a brick wall two feet thick in between us, but it wouldn't stop me from imagining what she was doing. The subtle movements of her fingers as they undid the knots on her swimsuit… the serenity with which they peeled off of her body… I could see it all. Whoa. This was one of those times when a creative mind was more curse than gift (or was it the other way around?).

I tried to rein it all in by reminding myself that it was high time I was past nosebleeds and nervousness, but the kittens I was having litters of wouldn't leave!

All of these factors combined left me fidgeting uncontrollably and I had a difficult time sitting still. More than anything, I wanted to just rip off my blindfold, pounce on Eri, and have her for supper. It's only because I held the utmost care and respect for her as my girlfriend that I held back. But I was still a ticking time bomb and my fuse was short.

"Okay Neku!" chirped Eri. "Take a look!"

I was only too glad to lift the blindfold off. That was torture in its own right! Now that my sight was restored I was able to calm down. More or less, for what it was worth.

"Does this work for me?"

"It's on the gaudy side, Eri. Just slightly… But I guess it doesn't matter, so yeah, it's good."

I found myself on the receiving end of a blank stare.

"Wh-What?" I gulped. "Eri, did… did I say something wrong?"

Her reply was stilted and unsure. "Is… Is this one _that_ bad?"

"Eh? I never said it was bad… In fact, it's good."

"But see!" She jabbed a finger at me. "You said 'good'! In my book, 'good' isn't enough! It's the kind of adjective people use when they're too lazy to provide a better description. Either that or they don't want to hurt your feelings… Neku, which is it? !"

The sweat started to trickle down my neck. What had I gotten myself into?

"Uh, calm down, Eri… It's nothing like that… I really think you look goo– I mean, amazing in it."

With arms crossed she confronted me with a huff, and it was obvious my explanation couldn't reach her. "I thought you're better than that, Neku. It's all about the breasts, isn't it? I bet you think my chest is no good."

My vision immediately snapped there… you know, to see if, um, anything was out of place. No ulterior motives, naturally! But that it looked fine made her accusations all the more bizarre.

"Wh-Where did this come from, Eri? ! I never once implied – "

"It's the sad truth, isn't it?" she sighed. "The woes of a woman destined to live the rest of her miserable existence with a pair of B cups… Modest at best, confidence-crushing at worst."

"Whoa, whoa, hold the phone. That's crazy talk." I stood up at once and grabbed both of her hands, promising her reassurance and sincerity. "Your chest looks alright to me! Really, it's a… it's a great chest!" What the heck was I saying…

"Is that so? B-But… when I groped Rhyme that time…" – I must guiltily admit I overheard the whole thing taking place back then – "…I kinda weighed them in my hands, and they're nice and heavy, see? And they've got a pleasant bouncy feel to them too… I've always wanted my own to look like that… Let's just say it's a girl thing, and – uh, Neku, your nose is – "

"I… I know. L-Let me get a tissue."

Knowing Eri, this probably wasn't going to bode well…

In a mixture of irritation and distress, she hurled even more baseless accusations at me. "See! You said you like my chest, but it's so obvious you like Rhyme's a lot better! Why else would you get a nosebleed when I talked about her? !"

"Th-This isn't because of her," I tried to explain. "I just got a little excited listening to how you felt her up – ah! When I say I got excited it's not because of her getting felt up, it's just…!"

My throat seized up when I saw the shadowy aura gathering around her. Not even the cheery floral prints of her bikini could dispel the darkness. She's getting deathly jealous. Jealousy is a normal feeling to have, but all this fuss over bust sizes? Gimme a break! I didn't care about those things, but then again, I wasn't a woman to begin with. I was more than satisfied that hers were normal. It'd be messed up if they were cube-shaped. That's reason enough to be happy, right? !

"Ohohoho…" Whoa, creepy girl alert! Her eyes were hidden within the shadow of her hair and her lips were twisted into an angry smirk. Uh-oh. "So as long as a girl's cup size isn't up to your unreasonably lofty standards, she has about as much worth as a wad of chewed-up gum. To think you'd go that far…"

I called out urgently to her. "Eri! Wait, wait. Please wait and listen to me. I-I'm just gonna ask you some simple questions so you don't misunderstand me. Okay?"

"Your sweet talk isn't going to work this time. But you can always try."

Damn, she's scary… "R-Right… Uh, okay. Who's your boyfriend?"

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "…It's you. But why are you – "

"Who cares about you the most? Apart from your mum and dad."

"Uh… you."

"Good. Now tell me who is in love with you."

"…You. Look, can we dispense with the silly pop quizzes and get back to – "

"No, not yet. Last one! You already know who would give anything to love you, Eri. So you should know there's only one girl's figure I'm interested in. Quickly now! Who is this girl?"

"…Uh, Rhyme?"

I let out a grumble and punished her with a flick to the forehead. "Wrong answer."

"Ow!" she yelped, rubbing the spot where I had hit her. "Neku, you jerk! That hurt! Besides, I kinda know you're talking about me…"

"Th-Then why didn't you just say so…"

"I… I was just – "

I didn't wait for her to finish. I planted a brief peck on her forehead where it must sting, and she went "eep" – insanely adorable, by the way. Dazed into a state of paralysis, she just stayed stock still. I used the ensuing lapse of time to reiterate my feelings for her in the kindest way I could handle without sounding too hammy.

"Eri, listen to me," I said, our eyes connecting. "Things like looks and bust size are unimportant to me. I only care about what's over here!" And I pointed.

She frowned, unimpressed. "Neku, don't be a hypocrite. You're still pointing at my chest."

Argh. That's true, but…! "No! I'm talking about what's _behind_ it! Your heart!"

"My… ah."

"I love you for who you are, Eri. Shouldn't you know this by now?"

She bit her lip, realizing she might have been too theatrical. Her voice went soft. "I… I actually know that very well. But I get self-conscious sometimes, especially when I see girls out there who have bigger busts or can do things that I can't. I can't help how I feel. You're my boyfriend, so I don't want you to be taken away by anyone else. To stay on a competitive level, I've been improving myself – I practice my cooking often, gave up on alcohol, and look after my figure. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to know your girlfriend's capable of a lot of things?"

I gave her a gentle smile to try and calm her aching heart. "You're more than capable already, Eri. But thank you… You've been working hard. However, you have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to go after anyone else, and that's a promise. Because I love you, simple as that."

Her face went beet red but I could see a smile creeping along her lips slowly. It was a sign that she was finally getting the message.

"Y-You don't mind me," she said meekly, "even when I'm not as busty as the next girl?"

I chuckled, pointing at her chest. "Hey, does this look small to you?"

_Poink._

Huh? Poink?

What in the world was that? …Oh, maybe that's the sound effect that you hear when you accidentally touch a girl's breasts… _because that's exactly what I just did!_

I hurriedly pulled away, going into a total fit over the sensation I just felt in my index finger. Up until this day I had never before touched a girl's breasts with my hands. It was usually other parts of my anatomy that got the doughy treatment, for example my back when she hugged me from behind, or my arm when she used me as a bolster. So what happened was a first for me and I was freaking out big time.

"What did I just touch? !" I squawked. "Aahhh! ! !"

"Whoa, get a hold of yourself!"

"I'm sorry! It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose… I didn't mean to – !"

Eri had to calm me down. "Neku, Neku! Chill! It's alright… I'm not offended at all!"

"R-Really? Y-You're okay with that? Wait, why are you okay with that?"

She grasped my arm gently. "This was bound to happen sooner or later anyway… And I really don't mind if it's you. I'd hate it though, if some other guy groped me." Her eyes flashed dangerously for a second. "I'd probably castrate him in a half-second… Anyway, you're okay in my book so there's no problem, ahaha!"

"O-Ooh… uh… G-Good to know you're so open-minded…" Lucky for me I wasn't 'some other guy'!

Eri continued to caress my arm, and the threatening atmosphere that lingered around her earlier was now gone. Thanks to her, I began to relax. "I'm like this with you because I trust you."

"Um, thanks. I… uh… I trust you…" – as an afterthought I added, "…too?"

"Smooth."

"Ahaha…" I had a long way to go before I could be comfortably suave. "Um… I'm just gonna get something off my mind. What is with this amazing feeling in my fingertips?"

"What's this again?"

"For someone who claims to have an unimpressive bust, you're…" – my face grew deep red as I said this – "…pretty well-endowed, you know."

This was a revelation that surprised her to no end (obvious as it may have been from the start). Her eyes were spread wide open and the mouth was ajar. Apparently insanity was contagious, so now she was the one freaking out.

"Neku!" she stammered. "You're not smoking anything, are you? Do you really mean it? Do you really mean what you just said?"

"Wh-What I said?" The feeling lingered on my finger. "About your chest?"

"Yeah! That it's… uh, sizable?"

I steeled myself to tell her the truth. This stuff was embarrassing to talk about openly, even when we weren't in public and it was just the two of us. "Uh-huh… I never thought there was any kind of issue at all. Seriously, you belittle yourself too much."

A stunned Eri could only continue to gape. I poked her in the head lightly to see if she was still with me on earth.

"Eri… wake up. You're absolutely fine – _durff!_"

Without warning, she tackled me. One moment she was dumbstruck, the next she had pounced on me. Time seemed to grind to a halt, everything was in slow motion. I could feel my ribcage imploding spectacularly as she hugged me. I also lost my balance, steadily falling backwards. Hang on, wasn't the coffee table right behind me?

…This couldn't be good.

"Neku!" she squealed, super-happy. "Thank you so much! I knew you wouldn't let me down!"

Gravity dealt its cruel hand on me and I felt the rock-hard edge of the coffee table wedge right into my spinal cord as I fell. The pain was excruciating. My… My spine didn't bend that way! It's at a freaking ninety degree angle!

"Neku? Neku! You're foaming at the mouth! Wh-What's the matter? !"

My vision was getting blacker by the second but I had just enough energy to say a few last words.

"A-Are you… an angel?"

"Wha…? ! Neku, wait! Don't die on me! You still owe me a trip to the family restaurant down the street!"

I survived, but spent the next few days completely bedridden, nursing my poor spine. It would be a while before I could straighten it out and the agony would be incredible, but if there's anything good out of this, it's that I had the fortune of being taken care of by Eri. She makes good porridge, by the way.

All things considered, it's not so bad… Ouch.

XOXOXOXOXO

Eri's sense of humour was outrageous. The problem? Sometimes it didn't work. I think the next anecdote should suffice nicely to reinforce this fact.

There was this one day when I paid Eri a visit, hoping to spend a little time with her before my afternoon classes began. As usual, she was more than happy to welcome me into her house. My presence always put her in high spirits.

"Make yourself comfortable, okay?" she chirped, nudging me into her bedroom. "I'll get you a drink."

"Are you really okay with me sitting on your bed?"

"It's fine, it's fine! Don't be so rigid."

She came back soon with my cup of tea but apologized that she couldn't entertain me immediately. "I just came back from running some errands so I'm all sweaty. I absolutely have to take a shower, but I wouldn't be long. Just wait for me a bit."

Her bathroom was connected to the bedroom, so I could hear it. Just barely, but I definitely picked it up. The hiss of the shower, the splashes of water… and Eri, singing a silly song to herself as she bathed. These sounds came through faint and muffled, but I _heard_ them, and that's the most important detail here. I was playing a video game on my phone in an attempt to calm myself, but it was to no avail. Inside my head there was an image of her in her birthday suit, soaping herself up in various places. And no matter what I did, I couldn't yank it out of my mind for long enough to concentrate on the game. I kept dying.

The game didn't keep me occupied for long. The bathroom door opened, almost causing me to twist my phone in surprise. She strode in, fresh out of the shower and tousling her hair dry. The towel she was using hid most of her face but I could see her naughty smile as she nudged the door closed with her butt.

She clambered onto the bed and sat ridiculously close to me, until she was touching me with her hip. My whole frame went stiff. At such close proximity I could see everything in meticulous detail. The game I was playing was just camouflage now; peeking discreetly at her body became my secret motive. Nice tube top… a bit smaller than her usual one, but… _nice_. She looked fantastic. And she smelled good too.

"So what brings you here again, Mr Sakuraba?"

Her question jolted me back to reality. "O-Oh! I was just… I just wanted to see you for a while. But I only got an hour's… well, slightly less than an hour's worth of free time. Gotta head back to college at three."

My hands were still mindlessly jabbing at my phone the whole time. She peered at the screen curiously.

"What game is that?" she asked. "It looks… complicated."

"It's _Heroes of Ziodim_… arguably the hottest action game on smartphones."

"Can't say I've heard of it." And who could blame her; she wasn't a gamer. "Your character keeps falling into that chasm. Is that normal?"

Unable to focus properly, my thumb was firmly pressed down on the virtual D-pad, sending my hero repeatedly on a suicide mission over the edge of a nearby cliff. I regained my senses in a panic, but by then, my in-game funds had been completely wiped out from the cost of resurrecting him over and over. All of my hard-earned gold… gone except for a few measly slivers. Never play hardcore games when you're distracted. Never!

The crushing feeling of having your hard work go down the drain would have to take a backseat for now. I came here for Eri.

With a goodnatured tone, I said, "You aren't going to pick up gaming anytime soon? It's a good way to pass the time."

"No way. I'm terrible at it. You've seen how badly I got trounced at the arcade the other day."

"Ahaha… Yeah, that's true."

Purely out of my absentmindedness, I unpaused the game and started jabbing mindlessly at the screen of my phone again, doing nothing useful for my character. Eri noticed. Having had enough, she whisked it away from my hands.

"What the – Eri! A-At least let me save! You have no idea how – "

I watched in a blend of disbelief and arousal as she wedged my phone into her tube top, where it nestled deep within her cleavage. All I could make out was the top part of the phone, peeking out like a periscope amidst a sea of flesh. My protests stopped abruptly and my eyes were riveted to that one spot.

Now in an even naughtier mood, she snarled, "Don't you know you should limit your gaming to an hour a day?"

I squawked like a total idiot, "B-But it's not even been ten minutes?"

"No excuses. You want this back?" I could feel the blood seeping out of my nose as she pushed the phone even deeper inside until it vanished from sight. Holy smoke! My cell's being violated! "Then there's something you ought to do fi– "

The unthinkable happened. My phone rang!

Both of us were startled. I jumped. She jumped. Even higher than me too.

"Someone's calling me!" I gulped. "And what's more, it's my aunt… I can tell from the pre-programmed ringtone. Oh god, give it back quick, Eri! Before she raises a – "

"_Aaaah…!"_

Whuh – what in the world was with that voice? ! Did she just moan like some actress in a porno film? !

"Eri? !"

"I-I'm sorry," she quivered. "Your phone is vibrating in my tube top… I-I-It feels good somehow… I can't…"

My jaw dislocated by itself. "What? !"

Good grief! How did things get so tense in a matter of seconds? Everything was so normal just moments earlier! And now she had a ringing phone stuck in between her breasts giving her shivers of the stimulating kind! No matter how dire the situation, however, any and all calls made by my aunt were to be answered without fail. She's a strict one, to be sure. I learnt my lesson ages ago… It's a long story. But yeah, I needed that phone now.

"Stop messing around, Eri!" I was getting twitchy. "Hurry and give it back!"

She had one hand plunged down her top and rummaging around but was so weak from the phone's constant vibrations that she couldn't find the strength to pull it out.

"Eri!"

"I'm try-try-trying – _hyaaah!_" That just about broke a few more blood vessels in my nose!

The phone was ringing too long. I could count my aunt's remaining patience in milliseconds. And then… the end would come. But Eri was in quite the bind herself… How was I supposed to solve this dilemma? !

"N-Neku," she stammered, "you do it."

"Huh?"

"I… I can't get it myself – _nnh!_ Y-You'll have to grab – "

"Wh-What? ! Why can't you – "

"_Aaangh!_"

"O-Okay! I got it! I freaking got it! I'll do it!"

This made me recall a similar incident that Eri and I had been put through in the past (see Part 5). We were scrunched together in the cramped fitting room of a boutique. Her phone started ringing and she needed to answer it, but the space we were cooped up in was too small for even her flexible arms to reach round to her pants pocket where her phone was causing a riot. So she asked me to get it for her. Those pants, by the way, were skin-tight… as in it-almost-feels-like-she's-not-wearing-anything-tight.

And now I had to deal with an equally skin-tight tube top. I had the benefit of past experience, so this should be no problem… yeah, right! I couldn't just dive in and –

Wait a minute… Didn't she say it? That we're lovers now? Shouldn't I be able to help myself to however many servings of Eri as I liked? And if she didn't mind either, what's the harm?

At that precise moment, my imagination went berserk and the word 'serving' took on a whole new meaning altogether. In my head, I saw Eri laid out on a jumbo-sized platter, wearing nothing but lettuce leaves and slathered in lemon dressing. She tore a frighteningly large piece from the leaf that covered her left breast and started nibbling on it. Any larger and I would have seen… something.

"Oh, Neku," she breathed, "your dinner's not going to eat herself. Come on, have a bite already."

Another nosebleed. Please stop, nose! Enough blood had been shed in one day already!

Back to the problem at hand, though. I needed to take that call now. But how? !

Eri looked like she was going into a seizure. "N-Neku," she pleaded, "hey, I'm dying here!"

"I know! But I can't possibly…!"

Her frame gave an especially violent shudder that sent shockwaves rippling through her torso. And that scream was crazy. "_Hnnngah!_"

_Beep._

Huh? Beep? Wait… there's a serious case of déjà vu going on here…

Both of us froze. And then, like a scene from a horror movie… we heard a disembodied voice… coming from her chest.

"Neku? Are you there?"

Oh snap, that's my aunt! Did the call get answered somehow? ! Maybe Eri's boobs squished against the 'answer' button when she jostled just now. How's that make sense? !

"Neku! Can you hear me?"

My reply was hasty and unprepared. "Uh, I… I can hear you, yes!"

During the conversation I tried desperately to sound normal and not at all distracted by the fact that I was forced to talk to my aunt through Eri's top. We couldn't do anything about the phone now. We might end the call accidentally if we started looking for it. But it's like I was talking to her boobs!

"How are your studies coming along?"

"F-Fine! All good! N-Never… been better!"

"That's nice to know. By the way, is there something wrong with the connection? Your voice is too soft. Can you speak up?"

Eri and I swapped weird glances. Then, purely out of necessity, she beckoned me to come closer, which was exactly my plan, except that I stopped when my ear was a hair's breadth away from her bust. Even then, she still urged me to keep going, getting annoyed that I wasn't complying with her instructions. I was close enough already!

"How's this, auntie?"

"Better, but not by much. Can't you do anything about it?"

"I'm sorry, this is the best we got. There's nothing more I can do. So, what's this again about you coming over – "

Without warning, an indescribably soft sensation enveloped my head. Wh-What's this? Such a comfortable feeling… So warm… It's like I was resting on a cloud of cotton candy.

Wait… Eri was hugging my head! Half of my face was lodged in the valley of her chest and I couldn't even break free because her fingers had an iron grip on my scalp. Gah!

At least my aunt could hear me clearer now. Silver linings, you know. "Oh, there we go. Much better. Anyway, back to what I was saying. Your uncle and I are at Odaiba now. Anything you want from there?"

"Nah, I'm good." Oxygen running low…

"Are you sure? If we see the latest volume of _Petalchaser Chronicles_, would you like us to get it for you? We can drop it off at – "

"It's… okay. Can buy it… here. Myself."

"You seem awfully distracted, Neku. Is something wrong? I'm not calling you at a bad time, am I?"

Yes, you were! "N-No, auntie. I'm… fine. Don't worry too much about me. I'm A-OK! Ha ha ha!"

"What's the matter, Neku? Seriously."

"Um, well…"

Things obviously weren't awkward enough, because she jabbed out of the blue, "You never did tell us much about what goes on outside of your college life. Are you having someone over?"

My heart jumped in tandem with Eri's. "Y-Yeah… w-well, no, more like I'm at that person's place…"

"Visiting a friend? Is it a girl?"

"Wh-What… Why do you ask? !"

She didn't take too kindly to that and scolded me. Ooh, this… was going to take a while.

"Hey, I may not be your mother," she grumbled, "but as your aunt, I still have the right to know about your welfare. Your uncle and I are the ones who brought you up, and you're like our son so I'd be darned if you can't even do something as simple as providing us with details of your life. You don't stay at our home, so frankly, we do get worried. The least you can do is tell us that you're okay! You don't even call us that often these days and that makes us doubly worried. I don't think it'd be that much trouble for you to just talk about yourself as compared to the two of us who have been working hard for your blah blah blah…"

That's my aunt for you. My uncle was mercifully less verbose, but I didn't have the fortune of talking to him this time round.

Please don't forget I was still suffocating within Eri's bosom.

"Auntie, auntie!" I gasped in desperation. "Time out! Okay, I'll tell you, alright? The truth is, it's a girl. Yeah."

All traces of annoyance in my aunt's voice disappeared. She was absolutely ecstatic. She, along with my uncle, had always been going on about how nice it would be for me to get a girlfriend, and while I was glad they were on my side, the questions they blasted me with were incessant if not outright grating. I knew she'd be glad to hear about it. Just the mention of me being in the same room with a girl and she gets completely hyper. I didn't want to find out just yet what would happen if she knew I was already hooked up.

"How close are you two?" And the prodding began…

"R-Real close." In both the literal and figurative sense. "Look, auntie, uh… I kinda got my head… I mean, my hands tied up at the moment."

"Is that so? Then I shan't intrude on you for too long then. Anyway, just know that we're in Odaiba. You need anything, just let us know."

"Cool. You two have fun."

The call ended and when I finally extracted myself free I could breathe again. I took the deepest breath ever. It was a five-minute call and I was trapped in there the whole time! Was that hell or heaven?

Sadly, my nose didn't leave me a lot of time to ponder which it was. While I busied myself plugging it up, Eri redoubled her efforts to pull my phone out, which she eventually did. Both of us survived this ordeal very, very tired.

"Sorry, Neku," she muttered, handing it back to me. "I was just playing around, but I didn't think it'd go out of hand. Um, sorry!"

"Nah, don't worry about it," I sighed. "It's my fault for trying to play the game while chatting with you."

"Oh man, still… my boobs have been all over your phone… Can I ask a stupid question?"

"Hmm?"

"If there are fingerprints and footprints, does this count as a breastprint?"

How should I even start to answer something like this?

"I… I wouldn't know about that, Eri."

"That's your aunt on the phone just now, huh?"

"Yeah." I scratched the back of my neck. "You already know this, but she and my uncle took me in after my parents passed away, so they treat me like their son. Sorry, by the way. She's really long-winded. Once she starts rambling, the only way she'll stop is when she goes to sleep."

Eri laughed. "Wow, she's a great conversationist, then."

"She's stern, too. She can feel like a real dictator at times. If I so much as annoy her a little, I can say goodbye to all of my free time that day."

"I feel that she's a nice person, though… I'm sure she'll be delighted to know we're going out. You should've just told her right off the bat instead of being so _shy_." The last word she uttered with a purposely big smile.

"Uh, hello? I told you… Auntie is long-winded? She wouldn't let me go if I told her. I'd have to shoot her with a tranquiliser to get some peace of mind."

More laughter from Eri was followed by a light slap on my arm. "I gotta admit, I'd love to see that."

"Heh. Actually, so do I."

Eri went silent for a spell, looking like she had something on her mind. Very softly she muttered, "I wonder if your foster parents would like me. I'm not quite the girl next door they might be looking for, so…"

She's getting unsure of herself again… I clutched her hands affectionately, saying, "Don't worry. They're not that old-fashioned. All they want for me is a girl whom I can love and love me back. That's all there is to it. Since you fit the bill, they'll like you for sure!"

"Hee hee… I hope so."

"By the way, you said you wanted me to do something? That's why you took away my phone in the first place."

"Ah, that's right! I… um…" She bashfully twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "I just wanted us to kiss. We don't have a lot of time, so really, that's all I wanted. Eheh!"

"That's all? You could've told me from the start instead of dancing around riddles."

"But it's more fun that way…"

"Hmmm. True that. Well, I don't like unfinished business lying around, and we have approximately half an hour left, so… what would you like to do with me?"

She chuckled some more.

"Lots."

XOXOXOXOXO

Alright, I gotta finish up for today. Hopefully that gave you a glimpse of what our relationship was like. If I were to condense its essence and sum it all up in one word? Crazy. That'd be the word. But then you'd have guessed that by now.

Every day's an adventure. I got to see or do something new all the time. The future would have even more fun for us, I could foresee. All I needed to do was to survive each nosebleed as they came along! Simple, right?

"Neku! Wait!"

"Wh-What is it, Eri? I'm kinda busy with this assignment…"

She hobbled to my side, half-naked and looking rather distressed. "I'm about to take a bath, but the clasp on my bra is stuck! C-Could you help undo it?"

"Huh? ! Me? !"

As I reeled in shock, she spun round to show me her luscious back and pointed towards the offending thing. "See? I've been trying to open it, but it's been five minutes and no dice. Help a girl out?"

"Wh-Why can't… Aren't you girls supposed to be pros at taking off your own underwear?"

"Please, Neku! It'll be easier if you do it! You just need to – "

Suddenly, the clasp broke by itself. With a loud snap, it burst open. Now, I didn't know how this was even possible, but… it was in a bad state to begin with. Well, it must have been an old bra past its expiry date (if bras have expiry dates), just waiting to spoil and disintegrate.

Now topless, Eri groaned and held up her ruined bra with a look of exasperation on her face. "Aww, that was one of my favourites. They don't sell this model anymore. What am I going to do with a pair of panties that I can't match anything with?"

I spilt blood all over my laptop.

Survive each nosebleed, I said… Yeah, thought so. Easier said than done.

...

**Author's note: Sorry I took so long to release this. The first draft looked fine, but after reading through it there were some parts I wasn't satisfied with so I had to rewrite those. Took a good while. I had to make several edits for this chapter, but I'm glad I did because now it reads alright to me.**

**Also, I drew a new cover image to celebrate Neku and Eri becoming a couple, so that's sort of a mini update, I guess... The image should be up by the time you read this. Anyway, that's all I gotta say for now; I'll see you in Chapter 31. Bye!**


	31. A Hot Bath Gets Hotter

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 31)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

The front door clicked shut behind us. Safely back in the comfort of my home, we were filled with a sense of relief.

"Whew!" Eri passed a hand over her forehead. "That went well, considering."

"Sorry I made us miss that bus," I muttered. "There was that manga I simply had to find."

Maybe it was because she had been used to dragging me around for too long during her shopping trips, but she didn't mind that it was my fault. Chipper as usual, she said, "You got what you wanted, so if you're happy then so am I. But more importantly! We're quite wet at the moment, aren't we?"

Eri and I had been hanging out as usual today. When we chanced upon a bookstore I thought I'd hunt down the latest volume of _Petalchaser Chronicles_, but took a longer amount of time than usual (Eri was browsing the magazine section in the meantime). I found my prize, but we missed the bus as a result. Not keen on waiting for the next one to roll around, however, we started walking back but ended up smack dab in the middle of a snowstorm. We made like sprinters, all the way here.

And that's how we became soaked.

"Oh well," she shrugged, "there's no going around it, eh? We're going to have to take a bath together."

"For someone who says there's no choice, you're awfully happy about it."

"Come on now!" She glomped me from the side, filling the room with her infectious laugh. "You're happy too, that much I can tell! You're just not honest with your feelings."

"I'm what now?" I snorted.

"Let's go, let's go already! You can read your _Petalchaser Testicles_ later!"

"I-It's _Chronicles_! Geez!"

"Yeah, what you said. Seriously, what a perverted name for a manga. Do you like these sorts of things, Neku? I get that we all have our fetishes, but…"

"Eri, I told you… it's – ah, I give up."

"Get a move on, man!" Squealing with excitement, she pulled at my arm, leading me to the bathroom. "Hurry… our naked paradise awaits us!"

"'Naked paradise'? ! And you're the one who calls me perverted!"

XOXOXOXOXO

Against her insistence, I declined to join Eri in the shower. She kept saying we could save water by going in together, and while that's true, I'd rather not take the risk.

She helped herself to the shower, while I made do with a pan and basin. If we bathed together, this was how we did it. Then once we were done with the initial cleanup we'd scrub each other's backs, which was already exciting enough in itself without me having to share the shower with a girl in the buff.

Hot baths always kept her spirits high and peppy, and she would tend to break into song. Today looked to be another performance. Her humming was nice in its own laid-back kind of way. I sat back and listened to her, enjoying every second of it while it lasted.

Because once she opened her mouth…

"Flowers in the dusk," she squawked, "they sparkle like the stars… Oooh yeah yeah!"

I'd been with Eri to the karaoke bar on several occasions to understand the level of her singing ability. She generally sings decently… if decent means alright, and if alright means… tone deaf. As the lyrics of her favourite song became mangled beyond recognition, I just cringed in agony and plugged up my ears.

She continued with wild abandon, "Oh, you understand this darkness in my heart… It's like a whirlwind, a whirlwind, a whirl-wiiiiiiiiiiiind…!"

Oh my goodness! If songs could kill, then her singing talent was the end of the world! My ears were melting. I would have to ask her to tone her idol talents – or lack thereof – down a notch.

"Eri. Whoa, Eri, whoa!"

She whisked the shower curtain wide open to talk to me, exposing herself and that luscious soap-covered body of hers. "'Sup?"

The fingers I used to plug my ears now went into my nostrils to keep from making a bloody mess. "Uh, not trying to be a dog in the manger here? But… might you consider taking up… air vocals?"

"Air… vocals?"

She didn't get it at first. But when she did…

"Are you implying," she seethed, "that I sing like a hippopotamus? !"

"I never said you did. I was thinking of some other animal, actually – gyaah!" The sudden chill of a cold water spray on my back took me by surprise. My body was seized with shivers. "S-Sorry! Sorry! S-Stop it please!"

"I may not be the best singer around," she grumbled, brandishing the shower head, "but it wouldn't kill you to use some tact and discretion. At least say I'm like a nightingale or something."

A nightingale… with a sore throat. But I didn't dare to say that.

Eri's razor-sharp voice snapped at me, "Did you say something, Neku?"

"N-No, of course not. Um, sorry. By all means, please keep singing to your heart's content."

"Another time," she sighed. "I'm done with my shower, so I'll scrub your back for you."

"Ah! I can get behind that!"

"I get the feeling you're happy not particularly because you're getting your back scrubbed…"

I just stayed silent, knowing fully well that I was glad to be relieved of her horrendous singing. Some truths are best kept under wraps. That's one of the secrets to keeping friendships afloat.

Partway through my exfoliation treatment, she piped up, "Neku, can we talk about something a little serious?"

"I… I already said I was sorry… Even at your worst, you're no hippo."

"…I'm not sure what to make of that, but I'll leave it. That's not what I had in mind. I was thinking, well, since we're going out, we should lay down some rules."

I caught on quickly. "Kind of like, the Ten Commandments All Couples Should Follow?"

"Exactly! Except it's only _three_, and they're simple too, so it's flexible like that. Wanna hear it?"

"Sure. Shoot."

"Right then! You'd better listen up!" She cleared her throat and spoke with the very important air of a president. "Rule #1: We must provide each other with unconditional love. Obvious, no?"

"Obvious enough," I snorted. "Where would we be without it?"

"You'd be surprised how often people forget about the simplest things. They take each other for granted. I'm not saying that we're going to get adult-onset dementia soon and forget that we're joined at the hip. It's just… a basic principle we have to keep in mind."

"No harm repeating the 'obvious', right? Ahaha."

"Neku, that's really corny."

"Sorry."

"Cute though. So I'll forgive you."

Her hand was slithering all over my shoulder and I took the opportunity to touch it with mine. "Don't worry, Eri. You and I are going to be just fine in the romance department."

"It's so you to put a girl's heart at ease," she said with a smile in her voice. "Well then, onward! Rule #2 is that we must support one another at all times. That's simple enough."

"Yeah, isn't that a no-brainer? You and I have been in the business of helping each other out for years and that's never gonna change. Didn't you say something to that effect yourself? How's it go again… 'You scrub my back and I'll scrub yours'?"

"It's along those lines, yup."

She hugged me from behind… threw her arms around my neck without even bothering to rinse away the soap first. I could feel the warm, motherly softness of her chest on my skin and I was too taken in by the bliss to take a single breath. I thought she was being playful, but when her tone took on a mature glaze I knew she did it out of the need to be reassured that I still loved and understood her.

"Neku," she breathed, our damp cheeks touching, "I really love you. I want to be worthy of your affections. Maybe I'm young and I still don't know many things, but at the very least, I want you to be proud of me as your girlfriend. So if there's anything you need help with, or even anything you want to see in me, tell me."

Eri was gearing up for her role as my girlfriend and she meant business. Her confidence and outer appearance may suggest that she was a woman who had everything, but she wasn't perfect – same went for me – and that was the truth. She was aware that she still had a great distance to cover, and wasn't ready to fail miserably when she had already landed who she claimed on many occasions to be the best boyfriend ever. That's me by the way, I dare to gloat.

But I reminded her, "Eri, I do notice all the little things you've been doing, like you ditching your drinking habit, for example. No need to push yourself too far though. You're fine the way you are. So don't fret about it too much."

"I knew you'd say that. Alright, wanna do this last bit together?"

"You're done scrubbing?"

"Yeah! Can we do that, please?"

"Huh? _That?_ W-Well, now's not exactly the best – "

"Pretty please? I'll be a good girl this time, I promise."

I muttered half to myself, "'This time'…?"

"Make it a good one! _Alllll_ the way to absolute zero!"

"Hey, do you even know what time of the year it is now? We'll get ourselves killed doing this! Are you out of your mind? !"

"I don't care if I _am_ out of my mind. It'll be fun! C'mon!"

"Er… ungh… ah, heck. Let's just do it. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Alright!"

The time had come for us to participate in a slightly bizarre bathtime ritual that Eri was adamant about the two of us following. I grabbed the pan lying at my feet and filled it to the brim with water. That was Eri's cue to cling onto my back from behind, and once she was in position and I was ready to initiate the final act, she shrilled:

"Say 'cheese'!"

I hoisted the pan all the way up and brought ice-cold water crashing onto both of our heads. An overwhelming arctic sensation engulfed our bodies. It was like we had brought the entire freaking North Pole into our bathroom! And she made me do it during _winter!_

Her three-second brush with frigid death left her squealing and laughing like a child who had just found a new way to pass the time, which was almost exactly what she was now. Till this day I have no idea where she picked up this strange hobby of dumping cold water onto herself. She would do it during her baths, and if I was with her, she always got me to join her. I was always a reluctant participant.

"Eek! W-Was that a-awesome, or what? !" She rubbed against my body to warm herself up. The goosebumps broke out all over my skin like a sci-fi virus and I curled up as best as I could. My teeth chattered so much as I talked.

"N-Not c-c-cool, Eri!"

"Hee hee! N-Nice pun, N-Neku."

"No! Th-That's not wh-what I meant! I'm just s-saying it's crazy to d-do ice bucket challenges in the c-coldest season of the year! I wouldn't mind if… if it's h-hot, but-but-but you've got to have y-your brain looked at if you w-want to do it now!"

But it was just like her to forgo logic for fun and she still thought it was a heck of a rush.

"W-Won't be any f-fun otherwise, right?"

"N-N-Not really!"

I snatched up the shower head and once I was able to will my frozen muscles to move, I wasted no time dousing us both with warm water. Eri drank up the warmth with her body, letting loose a prolonged "aahhh" from her lips, her breath raking the nape of my neck. Listening to the hiss of the shower while watching the place get smothered in steam had a calming effect. Eri snuggled up from behind, touching me so firmly I could feel her own heartbeat. We stayed silent, savouring the moment. I could stay like this with Eri for hours.

"You know," she said at last, "what we just did, Neku… It's not the same as spraying each other with water hoses, but it comes close. Me and the kids in my hometown… We used to play like that."

"Was it fun?"

"Yessiree! Ooh, I know! We should give it a try too, you and me. It's great to just let your hair down and get wet like the world doesn't even matter!"

"Hmmm… I have to admit, it does sound like a good time…"

A very clear picture of that scene materialized inside my head: the two of us on a sweltering summer day, chasing and ambushing each other with water hoses and laughing a lot. Of course, it'd be fitting for her to be decked out in a T-shirt and little else. It wouldn't be long before she got so soaked, however, that she'd become rightly fed up with the shirt and whip it off… but then hey, it's cool if she wanted to horse around in a swimsuit! Oh god, I must sound like a perverted old codger. But imagination truly is a blessing sent from heaven.

"It's the best way to let yourself go on a hot afternoon," she gushed, then with a tinge of regret, she added, "but my parents always get cross when they see me come home drenched from head to toe."

I chuckled. "Too excited to play that you forgot to bring a change of clothes? Even a towel to dry yourself off would be better than nothing…"

"I never remember. So once we're all done with our war, I simply make a quick dash back home and then my mum and dad would scold me for looking like a floozy."

"Heh… That's not surprising."

"But I'm not totally defenseless," she protested. "I mean, I always make sure I've got at least a bikini underneath my shirt, you know!" Wow, that's exactly like my image of her!

We had made the mother of all detours and now it was time to get back to the original topic.

"So," she said, "I don't think we need to worry too much about Rule #2…"

"…seeing as we've already been actively scrubbing each other's backs in both the literal and figurative sense."

"I always did love a good scrub," she wisecracked. "Speaking of which, let's switch places. It's my turn."

"Okay."

"Oh, and Neku?"

"Hmm?"

"Try not to bleed too much," she sniggered.

I couldn't start right away. She sat on the stool, waiting to get washed up, but I was too distracted by the sight of her luscious back to do anything. Her ultra-smooth skin stretched on for miles and miles. Her beauty never failed to leave me at a loss for words. With clothes or without, she was a pro at being fresh and easy on the eyes. I'll be honest here: as a healthy young man, it's only natural for me to love looking at beautiful girls. And when there's one completely bare right in front of me – and she's my wonderful girlfriend at that! – I'm gripped with a sense of satisfaction I can't quite describe.

There's that old side-effect I could never do away with, though.

"Um, Neku?"

"Huh?"

"Ever heard of Elizabeth Bathory? She was a European countess – lived around the nineteenth century, I think – who murdered girls and bathed in their blood, hoping to stay young that way… I kinda feel like her now. Um, see what I'm getting at?"

"Uh, y-yeah. Sorry, this nosebleed wouldn't stop." I cringed at the sight of my own blood splattered all over Eri's back. That nose of mine never functions the way I want it to, I swear. "L-Let me wash that off for you."

"Please do." With a hint of wryness, she added, "And don't worry, Neku. I'll still love you."

"Th-Thanks."

"That's another one of your more endearing points, just so you know. Take your time! No rush. Um… carpe diem?"

"…I'd feel better if you didn't say that."

Soon enough I was done with both her back and my own nose, and now I could finally roll up my imaginary sleeves for the task at hand. "I'm going to start now, Eri. Let's hear it for Rule #3."

I traced the outline of her shoulder blades with my sponge. She hesitated to speak. Initially I shrugged it off, thinking she was getting absorbed in the moment, but when the silence dragged on for too long, I knew something wasn't right.

"Eri," I called, touching her arm lightly. "Are you awake?"

"I'm still here," she replied meekly. "I just realized Rule #3 is _really_ embarrassing, even for me… um… Do you still wanna hear it?"

"'Even for me'?" That amused me somehow. "If you're so shameless normally and you put it that way, it must be a real blush fest. In that case, I want to hear it even more! Then I might finally find your weakness."

Eri glanced over her shoulder to look at me from the corner of her eye. "Y-You don't understand. It's really – like, really truly absolutely – embarrassing. Are you sure you want to hear about it? No matter what?"

"Yes. C'mon, it can't be that bad."

"Hmm… well… alright, I'll just keep it nice and simple so there won't be any misunderstandings."

What was it about Rule #3 that made it so hard for even Ms Shameless to say?

Eri was blushing. Even when her face wasn't in full view, I could see her ears in full bloom. There was quite the pause too… was she trying to think of the right words? But I got my answer eventually. Just as she promised, it was short and to the point, spoken with whispers that were barely audible.

"Rule #3: We're… um… We're not having sex until we're both ready."

I nearly lost my balance. Had I been more careless, I'd have toppled onto the floor. That was the craziest thing I'd heard from her in a while! I had half a mind to get my ears checked, but I knew I wasn't hearing things.

"Eri, c-cut it out with the jokes… I thought we're supposed to be serious here!"

"We are!"

I was taken aback by her raised voice, which was a clear indicator that she wasn't playing around. But did she truly mean what she said? Because if she did… then… um… she had plans to… with me… Huh? ! What was with this development? !

"Neku," she muttered, "I need to tell you… how I feel. Promise me you'll listen without freaking out? And don't worry. I'm not going to make fun of you. 'Cause we're in the same boat."

Very cautiously – and stupidly – I nodded, only to remember too late that I was behind her and she couldn't see me.

"O-Okay. I'll be calm."

To facilitate a smoother discussion, she made it a point to be brutally frank. Make no mistake, I appreciated that we were being truthful with each other, even as things grew increasingly squeamish between us. Honesty can get you places where beating about the bush can't. I just never thought I'd see the day when Eri and I would be talking about the birds and bees. And all while we were both in our birthday suits. Talk about dangerous…

Eri was fidgeting slightly and it would have been cute if I wasn't so hopelessly distracted. "We love and trust each other, so that's why I don't mind telling you the truth, Neku… And the truth is… I do think about _that_, and I want to give it a go with you at some point in the near future… It's just not going to happen now, though."

The butterflies fluttered in my stomach by the dozens. It wouldn't be fair if she was the only one dishing out the confessions.

With my throat box shaking like a rickety wooden bridge, I admitted, "I… I fantasize about the two of us on a number of occasions myself. D-Does that put you off, by the way?"

"No, not at all. I told you, we're both the same. Just to really drive home the point, though: my heart isn't ready for me to take the big leap yet."

I gulped hard. "Yeah, I know… Me too. We need more time to sort it all out before we make it happen. I'd hate to wind up with regrets."

"Mm-hmm."

Nothing was spoken for the next minute or two. Her words wouldn't leave the confines of my skull. I processed them again and again, merging them with my own understanding of the matter, and what I got as the end result of all that thinking was always the same. The one undeniable fact remained: Eri and I were interested, and were it not for a general sense of responsibility – and unpreparedness – I imagine we'd have gone at it five minutes ago.

Whenever she cavorts all over the place wearing little or less, it's already jarring enough, but in light of the current circumstances, her nudity took on a whole new meaning altogether. Just think! It would be a piece of cake to push her down and take her… Half the work's done already: we're dressed for the occasion! But I didn't. I wouldn't! It's against my moral principles. I wanted to treat Eri the right way. She's my precious girlfriend!

The nervousness made me feel like a fool. The stutters that I tried to pass off as human speech were laughably bad, and it was after a lot of corrected attempts – she said "Come again?" one too many times – did I manage to say something that finally made sense.

"Eri, I'm… honoured. Honoured that you want me to be your first…"

"My first _and only_," she corrected.

"Yeah. I'll do my best. I… I don't know how it's going to play out, and it's daunting thinking about it, but I know we can work something out so that when it's time, we can… well… have a lot of fun!"

Eri gave an enthusiastic nod. "Yeah! I'll be looking forward to – _wachoo!_"

"Huh? Feeling cold, Eri?"

"Not exactly… But you're pretty much finished with my back already, so let's get out."

Once the suds were washed off, she stood up but something went wrong right away. The bathroom floor was wet, and the moment she took one step, her foot slipped and she teetered like a cartoon character – quite funny, actually, if it weren't for the fact that her head was poised to slam into the nearby wall like scrambled eggs.

My reflexes kicked in like lightning. I wrapped my arms around her as she pirouetted and she hit her head on my chest. Well, that's not so bad. Better than a rock-hard wall any day of the week. Success! She was safe! …If a little on the giddy side.

"N-Nice save," she squeaked, clinging onto me for dear life. "Thanks."

"Any… Anytime."

I suddenly realized that I was hugging her, and while that in itself was fine, you have to remember we weren't wearing anything. She was the one who initiated all the naked hugs and it was always from behind. But we were face-to-face this time and suddenly everything about each other's bodies became a source of perverse wonder and curiosity. The two of us were hopelessly dumbstruck. Our eyes were travelling. The blood was getting to our heads fast. And somewhere inside of me a strange feeling was about to awaken.

Then _I_ started to lose my balance.

The two of us instinctively clung tighter to each other, like in those dreams where you're dangling from a lone twig with a ravine dozens of feet below you. But it's no use. We still crumpled to the floor and ended up in a heap of arms and legs.

The impact made me dizzy but I did my best to disentangle myself. My muscles felt like sludge as I tried to force my brain to work again.

"Eri," I groaned, "you okay?"

My vision cleared up just in time to see that I had wound up on all fours on top of her. There she lay, sprawled on the bathroom floor, limbs splayed every which way. When she got her bearings and saw what had become of us, her face glowed – slowly but surely – to frighteningly reddish proportions. She stared at me with the eyes of a frightened deer. I could see the shivers in her body, and it wasn't from cold. She was afraid. She was filled with trepidation. But at the same time, there was that hint of anticipation.

Would we do it? Wouldn't we? Yes? No? Now? Later?

As I remained perched in that precarious position, a million thoughts went through my head like gnats. I was like every other guy: I do dream about my first time with the girl I love. And when we both entertained that idea with an honest open attitude, it did give me the impression that we were growing as a couple. It made me happy. But then we found ourselves faced with this situation all of a sudden. Eri and I had seen each other in the buff plenty of times, but the weight of our prior conversation left us so shocked and embarrassed we didn't quite know what the next step should be.

We were lovers. We were naked. Deep inside we wanted to put rabbits to shame! A lesser man might seize the opportunity quicker than you could say "family planning", and I was tempted to do the same, but there's that part of me – my integrity struck again – that gnawed at me and screamed, "No! Don't do it!" Which was why I was hesitating. However, the longer I waited, the harder it became to resist the temptation. If I didn't do something quickly…

Luckily for both of us, Eri snapped out of her reverie.

"No!" She scrunched her legs up and crossed her arms over her chest protectively. "H-Hold your horses, Neku. And keep that six-shooter holstered, 'cause we're _not_ doing it."

Thanks to her, I was brought back to reality and I winced at how close we were to going past the point of no return. I scrambled away, steadying myself into a clumsy squatting position, waving my hands like a windmill.

"I… I'm sorry!" I stammered. "It was an accident! And y-yeah, we're not doing that. I'm just not ready for it either!"

"Good."

She picked herself off the floor slowly, but I noticed she wasn't even looking at me. Was she mad? Mortified? I had no idea. The confusion worsened when she grabbed the shower head and gave herself a quick rinse all over with the obvious intention of ending the bath soon.

My heart was on the edge of a knife, unsure of what she was thinking. I watched uneasily as she grabbed her towel and zipped out of the bathroom door without even bothering to dry herself, much less put on any clothes. Eri seemed to be in a hurry to get away from me… Did I put her out that much? I could see why she wanted to put some distance between us though. We almost did it. We promised ourselves not to, yet for that brief fleeting moment, both of us didn't care anymore. I was glad she intervened, but did she hate me? I nearly broke Rule #3…

Man… I felt like the worst kind of guy.

Once I was dressed and ready to face Eri again, I went back to my bedroom where she must presumably be waiting. Hoo boy, she couldn't be very pleased at all, so I had to be extra careful tip-toeing around the lioness.

Eri was sitting on my bed, drying her hair. She had magically changed back to her clothes instead of going half-naked and free like she was so fond of doing. Granted, she doesn't walk around the house in her underwear all the time, but it's been a long while since she wore much of anything, so for her to actually put on a shirt for once must mean she was taking precautions around me. Had I become a criminal?

I didn't know whether to join her on the bed or play safe and take my seat on the chair. Seeing my hesitation, Eri beckoned me over, but her usual happy-go-lucky attitude was missing.

"C'mere," she said simply. "We need to talk."

Oh no, I didn't like the sound of those words! She was going to reprimand me for making an oaf of myself… I took care not to make any sudden movements around her for fear that she might whip out a stun gun from within her bra and use it to zap the bejesus out of me. One can never be too cautious as they say.

We sat facing each other in bed, and I could feel her eyeing me down. I thought she was ready to give me a tongue-lashing, but when she spoke she was surprisingly meek.

"Neku," she muttered, "sorry for being so… tough on you earlier. I got scared."

"Eri?" I was about to wait for her to explain but decided to dish out the apologies first. "No wait, before all that! I'm sorry. Although what happened in the bathroom was an accident, it was still my blunder."

"Well, yeah, that's that. We're cool. But I just want to say… Regarding our standing on the whole sex issue, just because I say no doesn't mean I don't want to do it."

The sweat collected in beads on my neck. She just said something very important for the future of our relationship. I knew what she was getting at, but a part of me could scarcely believe it. As though in answer to my thoughts, she repeated what she said but with simpler words, putting my doubts to rest for good.

Firmly and without a single shred of hesitation, she said, "Straight up from me, Neku: I want to do it with you. I want you to give me my first night… and, w-well, all the other nights after that."

Such boldness deserved credit. Our own faces were growing quite red. If I squinted, I might just be able to make out the columns of steam pouring out of her ears. Her forthrightness was refreshing in a sense though, because I know I'd rather not approach serious topics in a roundabout way.

She continued, "B-But we're not doing it now! Or even anytime soon, but… it'll happen. I promise. W-We just started dating, and, um, I'm sorry… But until the time is right, can you… wait for me?"

So adorable… She's like a lamb, getting all shy like that.

I flashed her a kind smile. "Sure, I'll wait."

"Thank you… I'm glad you understand. Now that this is out of the way, I hope we can continue being how we are with the skinship and stuff. We may have plans for you-know-what, but that doesn't mean it has to be all icky and weird every time we're naked in the bath. Right?"

"Um, y-yeah… Right on, Eri. Right on."

That night, she lay sound asleep but I spent hours awake, mulling over the latest developments, specifically _those_ words…

"_I want to do it with you. I want you to give me my first night… and, well, all the other nights after that."_

What is usually the next step for a couple that's real close? When kissing and necking isn't enough and taking baths together comes as second nature, is it natural to want to take it a step further and make love? Lots of couples go all the way even before marriage. Is this acceptable? What's right and what's wrong? There were so many things to think about.

We'd long retired as teenagers and have come to recognize that we weren't kids anymore, and now even she was getting serious. To be honest, it's quite scary having to properly grow up.

XOXOXOXOXO

Whether in love or at war, there's no such thing as being too prepared! So the next day I made a trip to the local pharmacy Nishimura Drugs to get… supplies. You know… _those_ kinds of supplies.

When I entered, the first thing I did was take a good look around to see how many people there were. Luck shone upon me. There were only a few souls, and the pharmacist was busy explaining to one of them about vitamins and stuff. That gave me the perfect opportunity to make like a ninja and sneak over to the forbidden section.

My eyes were greeted with rows upon rows of condoms. There were so many kinds! With shaking hands I picked a box and gulped when I read the words emblazoned across the front: "Feather-light, super-thin for maximum sensation". I saw many others that boasted different features, of which I shan't describe here (who the heck needs mango-flavoured condoms? !), and while it's good to be spoilt for choice, I now had no idea anymore which one I should buy!

Suddenly I became aware of another customer standing beside me. To my surprise she peered over my shoulder and started reading the text on my box of condoms – aloud, much to my horror.

"'…micro-thin layer for enhanced comfort while ensuring amazing tear-free durability.' Wow… I don't really get what that means, but…"

"E-Eri…" I had been caught red-handed by the last person I wanted to see! "Keep your voice down, please."

"Fate is a funny thing, Neku. If I were to take a guess… we're both here for the same reason."

"A-And what's that?"

She edged closer until our shoulders were touching, and then, apparently as embarrassed as I was to be in this section of the pharmacy, whispered in my ear, "What else can it be? I'm talking about _that_."

I had little reason to lie to her. My reply was equally quiet. "Condoms?"

"…Well? Are you? Getting them, I mean?" At first glance it would seem like she was probing for answers, but I knew she was just concerned.

"Yeah. I'm… I'm gonna buy myself a box."

"Ah… th-thought so." A comical little quiver was starting to develop in her throat.

"And you?"

"And me what?"

"What're _you_ getting for yourself?"

Reluctantly, she squeezed the words out, "Birth control pills."

"O-Oh, okay."

The two of us stood there side by side, faces glowing with a resplendent barbecue-red hue. When it hit upon us that we were both here to prepare ourselves for future shenanigans, we immediately leapt into a series of hurried explanations to show that stuff like this was normal and that this was no indication of anything whatsoever.

"There's nothing wrong with it!" I stammered with a crooked smile. "Right? !"

Eri nodded too vigorously; any more and her head would fall off. "Yes and yes! We're just being responsible individuals in our society!"

"No one can really blame us. We don't want to become another statistic in the 'unwanted teen births' category after all!"

"Absolutely! …Although we're not teenagers anymore."

"What does it matter? The main principle remains the same. We've got to be careful!"

"Y-Yes! Careful and same… Something like that anyway! Hee hee!"

"Ha ha ha!"

We stopped abruptly, having run of things to say. Boy, did we feel like teenagers all over again… waddling in the awkward years of puberty when boys and girls were taking painful notice of each other's bodily changes… Ooh, his voice is cracking, that's hilarious! And is it just me or is her shirt getting tighter around the chest area?

Good times, eh?

But I digress.

Desperate to end the silence, Eri started commenting on the shelf of medical books laid out nearby. "I had no idea they had so many interesting books here. High time I took a peek myself!"

She swiped one at random and froze when she laid eyes on the cover. When I followed her gaze, I saw why and made like an ice lolly myself.

The book was the highly-acclaimed, award-winning "How to Have Safe and Fun Sex".

The illustrations inside were touted to be quite tasteful, by the way.

We half-giggled uneasily and ambiguously, wondering how we had gotten ourselves into this predicament. We wanted to escape, but we dug our own graves when she unknowingly flipped some pages open. What we saw in the middle of the book was… uh…

"Wh-What?" gulped Eri. "Th-This kind of position… Is it even possible for humans to do?"

"You _would_ need a fair amount of flexibility for – "

She slammed the book shut, causing the resulting snapping noise to reverberate throughout the pharmacy. "Ahaha! That's just ridiculous! We're not going to attempt something like that!"

"Not that we're trying to do anything at this point in time, of course!"

"Yeah! Hee hee!"

"Ha ha ha!"

The pharmacist, Dr Fumiko herself, demanded silence from us with a finger to her lips, but was very kind not to tell us off sternly. Maybe she understood that we were going through a phase of unquenchable curiosity.

We apologized and promptly shoved the book back onto the shelf.

"Ahem," coughed Eri. "I believe we have some shopping to do, so let's hop to it."

"Y-Yes, let's."

Eventually we got what we came here for, so mission accomplished, I guess. There's just one thing.

It's okay to wait…

…but could we?

We'd have to watch ourselves from now on…

…

**Author's note: The story touches on a mature topic this time. Hope it didn't creep anyone out…**

**Got another mini-update for you. All chapters now have titles. To see them, check out the chapter list drop-down menu. If there's something you'd like to look back on and refer to then hopefully the titles will help you a bit.**

**Not much to say here, so I'll see you again in this space with Chapter 32. That's all for now… bye!**


	32. To Become A Better Boyfriend, Part 1

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 32)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Neku, Neku, look at this!"

Eri excitedly waved her cell phone in my face. I peered closer at the screen and found an advertisement which I read out loud.

"'Winter Indie Music Festival 20XX… Feast your ears on the biggest blowout event to cap off a stellar year! Featuring the hottest stars from the indie music industry: Masahito Iwaizumi, 3Team, Ryoko*L and more!'"

I skimmed the rest of the ad and gave her my thoughts.

"So there's that special concert thing they hold around the end of every year… And this time, it's gone indie."

"I love what's going on over in the indie scene!" she gushed. "I'm an especially big fan of Ryoko*L!"

"Your doppelganger is performing too, huh?" Ryoko*L, the famous singer, bore an uncanny resemblance to my girlfriend, you see.

"Heck yes! It's real cool to be mistaken for her. But that aside, I really want to hear her sing. She's got that carefree soulful attitude that really reaches out to you when she sings, and it's awesome! I have _got_ to attend this event!"

"Then why don't we go together? I've been meaning to check out the _Concrete Guys_ myself."

"Exactly what I was thinking!" she squealed. "Let's do that!"

And so we were set for another date. The concert would be held on a Saturday two weeks from now, and I was both excited and apprehensive. So far, the things I'd done with her on dates included having lunch or going to the movies or cooking together, but nothing so adventurous as taking her to a bustling concert. Actually, this would be the first time I'd ever attended one! I wondered how it'd be like.

That afternoon when I was at WildKat for a bowl of pumpkin soup, Kariya became my chatting partner. Mr H was too busy to entertain me, and Uzuki wasn't around. My newfound status as a guy in an official relationship inflated my ego to pufferfish levels and drove me to boast about the good times I was sharing with Eri.

"We've been getting along real well," I said proudly. "Almost feels like a dream."

Kariya nodded his way politely through my incessant chatter.

"And now, we're going to a concert! Things have been getting better and better. The harsh times of being single are over. I feel like I can tackle anything now!"

A chuckle hummed in his throat. He nudged his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

"The fallacies of youth," he began dreamily. "How quaint."

"Huh?"

"Heh heh…" He wagged his finger like a fussy schoolteacher. "Phones, you're too naïve to think that everything will be fine and dandy once you've crossed the finish line. Getting the girl is half the battle. The other half is being able to keep her!"

I was getting confused. Very cautiously I prodded him. "I… But I'm her boyfriend…"

"You're on the right track, but you need to put in even more effort!" He placed a hand on my shoulder in a brotherly manner. "Listen, romance is a cruel, competitive world. It doesn't mean you're safe just because Eri's your girlfriend. If another guy comes around who's cooler than you, her eyes may wander…"

I didn't even want to entertain the possibility. How could this even happen? Kariya ate the full brunt of my disbelief.

"Eri won't do such a thing!" I protested, quite taken aback. "She loves me the most out of everyone."

"If that's the truth, well and good. But just bear with me for the time being. Tell me… do you have a part-time job?"

"Uh, no…"

"What about her?"

"Yeah, Eri's working as…" I stopped myself before I could blurt out her secret. "…she's got a job, yes."

_Sip, sip, sip_ he went with the latte. Then he said, "And you don't. Bit odd, don't you think? The girl can make some money on her own, but the guy doesn't do anything. You can't very well keep relying on your family to cough up dough for you to spend. You've got to show some initiative and make that cash yourself!"

His words stung but I couldn't argue. The truth was plain and simple: Eri had work, I didn't. She was making good yen and having fun at it. On the other hand, taking up a part-time job never occurred to me. Underneath my orange hairdo, was I actually a lazy bum?

"And I'm not trying to be mean," he continued, "but have you looked at yourself in the mirror and seen how thin you are? Sorry, I know I'm saying some things that are hard to swallow, but as her boyfriend, you ought to make yourself a little more presentable. Shallow as it may sound, I know I won't like to be paired up with someone who doesn't even bother to look good!"

That's another point there. Eri took pains to maintain her svelte figure. It's not fair if I didn't do the same. Would it look right if a hot girl like her was holding hands with a toothpick like me?

Suddenly I felt very inferior, but Kariya wasn't done yet. He dropped the final bomb on me.

"If you don't keep improving yourself," he said grimly, "sooner or later someone better than you is going to come along and take her away from under your nose! And she'll gladly leave you, once she realizes she's been working hard for someone who wouldn't even lift a finger!"

I never thought about it that way. Well, it's not like I was planning to be lazy and do nothing, but now I saw just how lacking as a person I really was. It's almost like… I still didn't deserve to have Eri. Today's meeting with Kariya was an eye-opener.

"Heck," he continued, "you keep this up and maybe even I might have a chance with her."

"I-Is that something you should be saying to a friend? !"

"I'm just giving you food for thought, Phones. Relax, I'm not going to go after her cute little behind, I promise. But that's as real a scenario as it can get!"

"Cute little – never mind. What is it I need to do?" I felt quite lost.

"There's still hope for you, Phones. But I'm not you, so I don't know what your weaknesses are. You've got to sit down and do some thinking. Ask yourself some tough questions and be honest. What could you do better about yourself? Could you find a part-time job? Could you build yourself up and look more buff? In what ways could you make yourself smarter and sharper?

"Oh, regarding appearance though," he added, "I'm not telling you to go for a nip and tuck down at the local plastic surgeon's. And I'm not saying you should get all bulked up like some Arnold Schwarzenegger wannabe… I'm just saying you should try to look nicer for Eri. She already likes you, so if she sees you're making an effort to look more attractive, even if only a little, then she'll really appreciate it."

Why not? Which girl wouldn't like a few more muscles in a guy?

"Alright," I said quietly, "I got your drift, Kariya. I can't be complacent, is what you're saying. I gotta remain on a competitive level with all the potentially better guys out there."

"Damn straight. You're thick in the middle of a jungle, and you've got to strive to be king!"

"I-I'll give it some thought."

Eri's mine. I couldn't afford to lose her to someone else whom I couldn't compare to. How would this affect my life from here on out? I didn't know and it made me worried thinking about it. Time to buckle down and get my figurative makeover on.

"By the way," I pointed out, "you're pretty knowledgeable about this."

"But of course!" He puffed his chest out and looked very proud of himself. If he had one of those springy handlebar moustaches he'd be twiddling it in his fingers now. "I may not look like it, but I've had several girlfriends in the past. I was totally popular!"

"R-Really?" Kariya, the Casanova? This was news to me.

A third, female voice cut in just as he was about to really start showing off. "In the virtual world, yes. Total chick magnet."

The rudely surprised Kariya whipped round to face the gatecrasher to our conversation and gave a defeated sigh. "Oh fine, give a guy a cold shower. No, seriously, Uzuki, did you have to reveal my secret? That's not cool."

Seeing that I was confused, she sought to enlighten me, totally ignoring him.

"He's been single all his life. Never once had a girlfriend. But if you're talking about the ones from his numerous dating sims, then yeah, he's got too many to count."

"Now that's just mean," he laughed. "You keep looking down on these games, but you have no idea how difficult they can be. For example, can you believe how hard it is to approach Momoka? I have to see her during lunchtime for four consecutive days, giving her a different gift each day, and then on the fifth day I need to give her the elusive [Expensive Bouquet] but my character stats have to be pretty much maxed out before then or else she wouldn't even give a hoot about me!"

"They're just bloody scripted events, idiot!"

I gaped at Kariya as he admitted the truth, "You guys got me. I did have girlfriends… They're just the ones from my dating sims… but! Momoka is really great once you max out her friendship level – ow!"

His head became the unwilling recipient of a half-hearted karate chop from Uzuki. "You harp on about working hard but you're too lazy to even iron your clothes among other simple things."

"Wrinkled is in, woman. Don't you dare diss – oof!"

Another chop. By now it was clear that he had been giving me advice that he didn't even bother to follow himself. Have you ever shelled out money to watch a movie, or buy a video game, or have lunch at that spanking new family restaurant down the street, only to be utterly and totally disappointed? That's what I felt now. Like I had been ripped off.

"Kariya, what the heck… Did you just tell me a load of bull?"

"No, I didn't. It's perfectly applicable in real life! Phones, I just don't want you to experience the heartbreak of losing your girl to another guy. That's why I told you to keep improving yourself. Trust me… You don't want to go through what I felt when Narumi got stolen by my rival just because I didn't level up my charisma enough. It's a crushing feeling that won't quit for days!"

Uzuki buried her face in one hand. "Just shut up already."

I tried to filter out the obvious gaming nonsense to see whatever pearls of wisdom may be lying beneath the surface. What I saw could be used by anyone, really, so it was valid. It was up to me to do my best so Eri wouldn't think I was some slacker with neither drive nor ambition.

Yup… Gotta work hard!

But before I could thank him, he was dragged off by the collar by his impatient friend. "Come on. We have work."

"Five more minutes, Uzuki!" he pleaded. "I need to enjoy my latte a little longer. Um, please?"

"You can always buy another one later. Now stop struggling and let's go."

"But they cost 980 yen now… The price went up – ow! Quit pulling! I can walk just fine!"

Kariya didn't get a lot of breaks, did he?

XOXOXOXOXO

I went to the canteen at college to brainstorm about my self-improvement plan. As far as I could tell, there were a lot of things I needed to fix about myself and it was hard to get started, but I eventually got the ball rolling.

So, right off the bat… I was unemployed. It _would_ be nice if I could fatten up my wallet a little. The allowance I received from my aunt and uncle showed no signs of increasing, and while it had allowed me to live comfortably so far, some extra pocket money would be welcome. Eri wasn't a particularly high-maintenance girlfriend (she's surprisingly down-to-earth if you can look past her spending habits), but I could feel the pinches in my cash stash already. Dating wasn't free.

Better go look in the classified ads afterwards. Until then…

…I had bodily appearance to worry about. How should I best describe my face? You could say I was neither ugly nor handsome. But Eri's fine with it the way it was, so that's that. The real issue here was that I was as thin as a scarecrow. Maybe she hardly minded, but I was sure she'd love it if I was a little more muscular.

My eating habits were relatively normal and balanced, but my stick figure skinniness could be attributed to an absurdly high metabolic rate; I simply digest food too fast for it to feed my muscle mass. I also didn't exercise. Gym? What gym? Never even set foot in there once. About time I did.

There's probably a few more faults I had to rectify here and there, but that's all I could think of at the moment. For now I had to immediately address the two most glaring deficiencies on my list: money and fitness. Compared to the latter, money was a more pressing matter. I decided to do something about finance first.

If I was going to work under someone, it'd be preferable to have a nice boss. It sounds like I was asking a lot, and it probably was, but I had heard lots of horror stories about part-timers being given a hard time by harsh, unreasonable employers. I didn't want to add to the stress I already got from coursework and my other responsibilities. That's why my thoughts turned to WildKat. Mr H was a great fellow if you didn't call him old (the truth hurts), so here's hoping I could get a job with him as a chef's assistant, since I was confident with my cooking.

Without wasting a second more, I dialed Mr H and asked him, "Do you have any job vacancies?"

He nursed an extended "hmmm" in his throat, and I could imagine him scratching his stubbly chin. Why did it take him so long to give me an answer? I had a bad feeling about this… Please! Give me a chance!

"At the moment," came his reply, "I'm afraid I'm not hiring anyone. Sorry."

My heart sank. I'd love to work with him… He must treat his employees well, even if he's bad at remembering names. I might even learn a few useful things along the way. With other employers who didn't bother with the niceties, I wasn't sure I could reap the same benefits.

"Oh, uh… I see… Thanks anyway, Mr H."

"What's the great rush? You strapped for cash?"

"No, not exactly. But I've got a girlfriend now, so I need more moolah."

"You sound like you've got some big plans up your sleeve."

Not only was Mr H trustworthy, he was also an excellent listener. If something's bothering you and you needed to lighten the load, he's one guy you could turn to. Why else did I seek advice from him multiple times in the past? I felt that I should give him the whole story.

"Well, actually…"

It took me a few minutes to explain my situation.

"So," he said at last, "that's what Lollipop Boy said, huh?"

"Yeah. Even though he gleaned it all from his video games, I think his advice is not completely stupid, so I'm gonna put it to practice and see how it holds up. It can't be that bad."

I thought he would agree more enthusiastically and send some words of encouragement my way, but his reaction was unexpectedly muted. "That's a good plan and all, but don't overexert yourself. If you do too many things in one go, it wouldn't really be a balanced lifestyle anymore."

"I'll be fine! It's something I need to do to strengthen my relationship with Eri. There'll be hurdles along the way. I just need to learn to adapt and deal with them!"

"Your attitude is in the right direction, Phones, but you still shouldn't overdo it."

"Even if you say that, I can't just sit back and do nothing… I need to earn a comfortable amount of money, make myself look better, and other stuff. I've got my work cut out for me, not that I'm complaining. Anything for better security."

I heard a chuckle on the other end of the line, but it was filled with kindness, not mockery.

"Phones, listen. You don't need to be rich and strong to protect your loved ones."

I scratched my head. "What does that mean? You need money to maintain the relationship, and you ought to beef up a bit to look good, right? You can't say you don't need them. They're practically essential in a world like today's."

He simply laughed. "You'll get it in time, son."

Never mind about that. Gotta look around for alternative options. Since I was in the area, I felt that the next best thing would be to ask around and see if anyone was hiring. As luck would have it, no one was interested in me. The ways in which they refused me were varied as they colourful. I'll share with you some prime examples:

"Hire you? Sorry, money's tight this month… You know how it's like, spending too much on lottery tickets and such. Ha ha ha!" …Then stop spending already.

"Where are your credentials? Show them to me. …You got none? Then git." I don't think you need qualifications to do part-time work…

"Sure, you can work in my restaurant. But first you must bring me five cartons of eggs, ten whole chickens, one kilogram of ginger, nine bundles of scallions, three boxes of soda, thirty packets of – " What the heck was this, a fetch quest in an RPG? !

"I only accept sweet, succulent boys. Come back when you're juicier." Creepy old cannibal lady alert! Good thing I hadn't started on fitness yet…

"Oi, don't expect to just barge in here and think you can have your way. If you're not already earning 600,000 yen a month, then forget it!"

In response to that I fumed, "I'm not here to marry your daughter!"

The economy's bad as it was, so people were less willing to rope in new help. I was prepared for rejection, but it still felt like a slap to the face whenever I was turned down. However, as bleak as my chances were, I told myself not to give up. I remembered Kariya's words to reinvigorate my spirits. This was no time to surrender. Self-sacrifice was a common aspect of relationships. Over the course of your life you gradually acquire a state of comfort, but to acquire better privileges you have to do away with some of the things you have come to enjoy, like free time in my case. Less time for myself, more happiness for the two of us. It's a fair trade-off.

It took a long time of searching and many more rejections before I found a ramen shack that was willing to take me in. Tucked away in a corner of Udagawa, it was a rickety, barely noticeable family restaurant that had seen better days. Maintenance was either kept at a minimum or downright neglected, and it showed. The paint on the walls was grimy and peeling, the air-conditioning thundered till I was deaf, and the plants they grew for indoor decoration were mostly yellowed and dead. The shop owner was grumpy too. Maybe all these factors combined was the reason there were so few customers. Or it could be the food. The place gave off the feeling that anyone in their right mind would be better off going somewhere else to have lunch. But hey, they hired me. It's a start.

They offered me 1500 yen for each shift – from 6 to 9 pm – and I was to work on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. That's a total of 4500 yen that I could make in a typical week. This kind of pay was peanuts, and it probably wasn't worth the trouble, but I was afraid I couldn't get another job offer elsewhere if I chose not to take this. I just told myself to grin and bear it until I found greener grass.

The shop owner was a middle-aged man with the temperament of a vat of boiling acid. He's exactly the type of employer I'd rather not deal with, but beggars can't be choosers. Even though I introduced myself properly to him, he never bothered with my name, instead calling me…

"Boy," he barked, "I'm gonna tell you what you need to know, but don't expect me to repeat it for you."

Making a nice first impression, sir! Please excuse the spoken-behind-the-back sarcasm.

"You're basically on waiter duty. Your job is to take the customers' orders and serve them their food. Clearing and cleaning the tables is also your job. Plus doing the dishes."

"Sure, I can do that."

"And don't think of slacking off. We may not look like much but we're still a legitimate business, so we've got to work hard. I won't tolerate a lot of mistakes either, so don't become one big screw-up in the making."

I gulped at the thought of being kept on a tight leash from now on. Sir Grouch wasn't going to ease up on me, I knew that for a fact.

Since today was Tuesday, my shift would start tomorrow. Finally I was gainfully employed! I scrambled to tell Eri the good news.

"Ooh, bully for you, Neku!" She sounded delighted over the phone. "That makes two of us! Except you don't cross-dress like I do."

"It's an ordinary restaurant, nothing flashy or gimmicky. But I'm getting paid at least; that's what matters. 1500 yen a night isn't a lot but hey, it's better than nothing… for now. By the way, Eri… How much does _Tea & Orange_ pay you? Just asking."

"I get 12000 yen per shift."

"Wh-What? That's a lot more than mine!" In one night she made more than double of what I could in a week! _Tea & Orange_ really paid their employees well. Butler cafés were something else…

"Yeah, well, we're a specialized establishment that caters to a niche audience, so our services are expensive. We net better pay, but things can get really demanding on our end. You have no idea how much our female customers can ask for! Some even wanted to be my wife and were willing to pay for it."

"Sounds like a rollercoaster ride masquerading as Shibuya's sexiest gentleman. Try not to get jumped, Eri."

She laughed. "I'll be fine. I love my job. Good luck on yours! And congrats again! Oh, I got to meet up with some friends. Catch you later, 'kay?"

Awesome. Not only was she happy for me, I've also got her support! That's great incentive! Nothing could get in my way, right?

…Right?

XOXOXOXOXO

Wednesday night. I started work today, but…

"What're you doing, boy? That's not how you bow to the customers! You look like a chicken pecking at the ground."

"Move faster, boy! Can't you see everyone's waiting?"

"No, no, no! You don't fill glasses to the brim! How do you expect to hold it without spilling anything? !"

My lack of work experience gave me problems right from the outset. I'd never worked before – period – so there were a lot of things I didn't know. I mean, we're all newbies once, but it's a bit discouraging when you keep messing up and your boss isn't the forgiving type.

"Here's your order," I said to one customer, "of shoyu ramen."

"Uh… I didn't order that."

I broke out into a cold sweat, realizing that I had just brought the wrong dish. Mistakes like this were fairly common in eateries, but later when the mix-up was settled and I returned to the kitchen, Sir Grumpy was waiting for me.

"I told you the shoyu ramen goes to the gentleman with spectacles! What's your problem, boy? !"

"B-But there are at least two guys like that…"

He chided me so strongly I winced from his sharp words. "Dammit, you have to at least remember who ordered what! Didn't I tell you not to be so useless? !"

Needless to say, it was a rough night with many blunders to my credit. By the end of the shift I was completely knackered and more than ready to go home.

"Here," said my boss, handing me my salary. "See you tomorrow night, boy."

"Th-Thank you, sir."

While I was working I didn't think I'd be able to survive the night, but somehow a miracle happened and I did. Now I had money that I made with my own two hands. Even though it was a paltry amount, I still felt a sense of achievement I had never felt before. Supposing that salary was five or six hundred yen higher and my boss a little nicer, this would be just fine. But I guess I couldn't complain.

In fact, I could probably get used to this. "Probably" being the affirmative word.

Now I could put my financial worries out of the way for a while. So the next thing I had to look into was fitness, or my lack thereof.

XOXOXOXOXO

Back in high school, I used to be one of the best pitchers on the school's baseball team. My throwing arm had power and accuracy to match, and my tricky curve shots were the source of many a player's woes. I was a demon out on the diamond.

Unfortunately, I broke my arm, and although it healed up nicely, it's never been the same ever since. I could still throw things and hit my mark, but only over considerably shorter distances. Any further than that, and my performance could see a noticeable dip, which became a problem real fast on the field. Nothing I threw ended up where I wanted it to go, and my strength simply wasn't up to par. No matter how hard I practiced to get myself back in shape, it was to no avail and I eventually dropped out of the team. My pitcher career was over. These days, I fare better tossing wads of paper into the wastepaper basket.

You're probably wondering by now how baseball had anything to do with my fitness issue. Well, when I quit, I didn't join any other sports clubs and exercised so little – close to nothing, in fact – that my stamina and overall hardiness took a massive plunge. As a baseball player I could run quite a bit with no problems. Now I couldn't walk around the city for too long without tiring out. This was something I had to change if I was going to keep up with Eri on her many lengthy shopping adventures.

The next day, I looked up the neighbourhood gym, hoping to gain some muscle and leverage over potential rivals in what I thought was the ever-present competition for Eri's attention. On hindsight, she felt so strongly for me that there was probably never any danger of her swaying towards another guy, but Kariya's warnings that she might had made me paranoid. Fear was a powerful driving force.

I went to work right away, starting with the weights, and amazingly…

…I understood just how far I'd fallen. Right from the beginning I never had an amazing physique to speak of, but I distinctly remember being much stronger. My arm was trembling as I tried to lift the lightest dumbbell, which by the way clocked in at a mere 1.25 kg.

The trainer who attended to me said encouragingly, "Try to do ten reps with that."

"It's hard… I thought this was the lightest one."

"It is, but you've got to start somewhere!"

"Is it okay if I start like this instead?"

I slipped the weighted discs off the dumbbell, leaving me with just the handle. Even it had some heft to it but it was more manageable this way. The trainer was flabbergasted at my utter lack of upper body strength.

"Uh…"

"Sorry," I said, feeling bashful. "That's my limit for now."

I must have looked like a clown pumping iron with a dinky metal bar and sheepishly asked if there were any lighter discs I could attach to it. There were none.

Before I resumed my suffering, we were interrupted by the presence of another person.

"Working hard, are you?" he said majestically. "Ha ha ha! That's the Phones I want to see!"

His sudden appearance caught me by surprise and caused me to let go of the handle and it narrowly missed my foot as it fell. I nearly went overboard being surprised.

"Don't do that, Kariya!" I yelped. "It's not safe to do jump scares on someone who's using weights! What if it dropped on my foot? I could break it!"

"Eh, I wouldn't worry. You can't break the handle just from that."

"It's my _foot_ we're talking about!"

"Ha ha! Take a joke, will you? Though I'm sure even if you did break it, you'll do just fine. If you broke your arm once then you could do it with your foot. It's like riding a bike."

"Kariya… Your morbid sense of humour has left me quite disturbed."

Kariya relieved the trainer of his duty and took it upon himself to become my personal coach. He revealed that he actually worked out regularly, albeit on a light easygoing regimen, so he knew what he was doing. However, I couldn't shake off the feeling that his offer to help me out was dubious to a fault.

"What's in it for you?" I quizzed. "You're not plotting my downfall, are you?"

He feigned shock, slapping his hand over his heart dramatically. "Phones, after all the good things I've done for you, is it so hard to believe that I'm willing to help a friend in need?"

"I don't distrust you at all, it's just… if you're planning to give me a hand, then stop winking at the girls."

"But those chicks over by the treadmills are my type…" He wrapped an arm around my shoulder like we were brothers and nodded pointedly towards them. "What about you, Phones? Which one of them turns you on? I bet it's the one with the red track suit since she looks like Eri."

I peered surreptitiously at her face and found myself mumbling, "She does look like her, kinda… although the nose is a bit – hey, wait a minute! We're supposed to be exercising!"

"Now, now… A few minutes of people-watching isn't gonna kill you. Besides, if you see an attractive woman, wouldn't you want to at least take a second glance? The drive to reproduce is imprinted in all of us, after all!"

"The heck are you going on about? ! I don't need – "

The key phrase 'drive to reproduce' suddenly stirred up weird feelings inside my gut and a fond memory to boot.

"_I want you to give me my first night,_" breathed Eri the other day, "_and, well, all the other nights after that._"

"Like I said," I stammered, "I don't need that right this moment. I'm here to lift weights, for goodness' sake!"

"Dude, you've got a nosebleed… Are you that hopeless?"

"C-Can it…"

And so Kariya spent the next hour teaching me the path to becoming a man. Warm-ups were followed by dumbbells and then sitting down with one of those Frankenstein torture racks (also known as multigyms). Even though I was startlingly poor at everything he threw at me, he was kind enough to understand that I was just a beginner and that one shouldn't expect too much out of me yet. Whenever I faltered, he let me rest and never once did he laugh at me. He's a good person. If he wasn't such a lazy bum maybe Uzuki could actually take a break from breathing down his neck the whole damn time.

However, even he had to point out that I was faltering too much. "Phones, this is the sixth break you've taken and it's not even twenty minutes yet! You can't make much progress like this…"

"I know," I panted, stretching my hurting arms, "but I really am crazy weak, it seems!"

"That negative mindset will get you nowhere. But fear not. This is where positive affirmations can make a difference."

"'Positive affirmations'? What, you mean like saying to yourself how you can do anything and that nothing can stop you?"

"No, even better! Just imagine… Humour me just this once, okay? If Eri saw you all nice and sturdy, how would she behave around you? I'd be hard-pressed to think she can keep her hands off of you for two seconds!" His voice dropped to a whisper, one of devilish joy. "Sounds tantalizing, doesn't it?"

Hmmm… She _would_ see me in a different light. Maybe like this…

"Shaping up pretty well, aren't you, Neku!" she might say. "I absolutely _adore_ these biceps of yours. Can I touch them? Feel them a bit? …Eee! You're hot! You're a smoking piece of firewood, yessiree! Light-years better than all of the other guys out there… Say, Neku, why don't we dispense with all the waiting and tie the knot already? I don't think we need to wait any longer."

I straightened out of my tired slump in an instant and every muscle in my body was completely refreshed and free from pain.

"Kariya, I can keep going for another six hours."

"No one works out for half that long," he laughed. "But wow, I didn't think it'd be that effective. Well then, if you're up for it, then let's not dawdle any longer!"

Whenever I felt like slacking off, Eri would pop up in my head slathering me with words of encouragement and promises of better things for us in the near future. Believe it or not, she kept me going for the one hour I was in the gym, and I took fewer long breaks than I thought I would take. I ended my training exhausted and I could really use a shower, but the sense of accomplishment was very real and very rewarding.

"You did well," the imaginary Eri beamed. "Rest up. You earned it."

"Don't worry about me," I panted in between heavy breaths. "You wouldn't be disappointed. Just you wait… I'll be so ripped you wouldn't believe your eyes!"

Kariya knitted his brows. "Phones… Who are you talking to? Good work, by the way."

Time to leave. Before we parted ways, he had one last thing to say.

"Listen, Phones, I can't coach you on a regular basis because of my day job, so you're on your own from now on. You've got the basic idea of a weightlifting regimen, so all you need to do is to stick to it and build upon it when you feel like you're up to the challenge."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Oh goodness, my arms are killing me. Nothing I can't handle though! I'll just come back here again tomorrow and – "

"Uh, no. Actually, don't."

"Huh? Why?"

"That was your first time in the gym… Looks like it took a huge toll on you. I suggest giving it a rest for at least a day until your muscles don't ache anymore. You'll do more harm than good if you keep going like this. Take a day off. You need it, trust me."

"If you say so. Thanks again, man."

He heartily waved off my gratitude, telling me not to mind. "Buy me a double espresso and we're even."

Whew! What a day. To say that I was totally drained was an understatement. All I could think of was to go home and sleep. I didn't want to do anything. Every part of my body was telling me in a unanimous voice, "Get rest." The evening was rolling in, so I decided I might as well call it a night. A quick shower and a cup of instant noodles and I was ready to hit the sack.

My thoughts lingered on all the progress I had been making as of late, and came to realize that all this would not have happened if it weren't for the people around me. Of course I was grateful to Eri and Mr H and even the ever-abrasive Uzuki to veer me onto the right path in life – indirectly or otherwise with a poke in the forehead – but I had to give Kariya special credit for not only giving me the wake-up call I needed to become a more decent person, but also actively supporting me during my time in the gym. He wasn't a professional trainer and he wasn't paid to do what he did so he didn't need to. But he did anyway. Was this what they called comradeship?

I'd be sure to return the favour someday. Many thanks, Lollipop!

I felt great about myself and looked forward to a good night's rest. But just as I was nicely settled in bed and my eyelids were starting to droop, I happened to glance towards the wall clock, which read 5.45 pm. It's not the right time for sleep but I guess you could call it a very long nap. Nothing particularly wrong with that, mind you, it's just –

"AAAAHH!"

I sprang out of bed, completely awake. That was me who screamed, by the way. Not the neighbours.

"I forgot about my shift!" I yelped. "Holy crud! I've got barely fifteen minutes before I'm late!"

It's amazing what the human body is capable of in dire times. I would normally need thirty minutes to walk to my workplace, but the adrenaline in my body pumped so hard I practically flew down the streets, and what do you know, I was just in time when I arrived, give or take a few moments. Close shave at any rate.

"Second day on the job," grumbled the shop owner ever so sunnily, "and you're already cutting it close. Get your act together, boy."

Taking a flight like that when I was already so tired couldn't be good for my system, and I had three hours' worth of work to do on top of that! And the worst part was, this suffering was wrought by my own hands. If I hadn't forgotten about my shift I'd be better prepared for the night. Well, rather, if I had taken it easy at the gym instead of going gung-ho, then things would have turned out favourably. What was this, Black Friday? ! Oh wait, it's Thursday…

I could scarcely talk because of my ridiculous panting. It took every ounce of effort to force the words out. "Terribly… sorry… sir. Actually, I was – "

But my boss couldn't care less. Without hearing me out, he snapped, "Forget it. Least you're not late, that's all that matters. Now get dressed and do the dishes."

"Got it… sir…"

I could barely lift my arms and now I had to help out with cleaning a mountain of dishes in the kitchen. Just my luck. Was this the part where I would be told to pace myself? But I thought it was because I hadn't gotten into the swing of things that I was so unorganized. Everything would sort itself out in time as long as I could rework my biological clock. Then even the most physically demanding activities would be a cakewalk.

The road ahead would be a tough, rocky one. The challenges would be both many and relentless.

"Faster, boy!" scolded my boss. "We need them clean… and now!"

And the dishes would keep piling up together with my trials.

XOXOXOXOXO

Yesterday's fatigue left me so drained that I decided to skip my morning classes altogether to give myself a breather at home. I went for the two-hour late afternoon lecture instead, thinking that I wouldn't need to do so much catching up afterwards if I did.

However, even though you don't miss out on everything, you could still miss out on a lot. And I did. It turned out to be the figurative party I should have attended.

During the short break in the middle of the lecture, I asked my classmates. "We've got a report to write up by next Monday," they revealed, "and then we need to get into groups of three to do this one project… That means another shorter report and a ten-minute presentation in front of the class on Thursday on top of that. Next Friday we got a test too, and…"

I started to panic at the thought of having to bury myself in coursework when I already had less free time to myself from my other commitments. "Whoa, hold up! What's with the sudden increase in workload?"

"'Tis the season for assignments, dude. Our senpais tell us that the lecturers always pile on the work just before the Christmas break."

Oh boy. I thought my part-time job and my gym regimen were enough to keep me occupied. But I was a fool to forget to take my college life into account. Now my schedule was even more packed and the deadlines were a little too close for comfort.

Fine. I'd find a way, no problem. I always did. Worse scenarios have played out and I survived them. Hmph… Homework? That, I could handle!

"Oh, right!" I said. "About that group project! Anyone wanna partner up with me?"

Everyone shook their heads sympathetically. "Sorry, Neku… We already formed our groups this morning!"

Wh-What? ! Dammit, that's all the more reason that I should have gone to college! I didn't know everyone in class, so it's going to be super hard to get myself into a group I was comfortable with. How I wanted to kick myself!

"Th-There has to be someone still looking around for group members! Do you know any takers?"

They exchanged glances at each other, hesitating and giving off a general feeling of uncertainty, as though they had something to tell me but weren't sure whether it was a good idea.

Voicing everyone's thoughts on their behalf, one classmate spoke up very reluctantly, "There's no one else as far as we can tell, except…"

So there _was_ hope after all! I would have liked it better if I was paired up with Sato or Nimura or Yukari; I've worked with them before on earlier projects and they were reliable people who have yet to let me down. But they weren't up for grabs anymore so I had to take what I had for now. I just hoped I wouldn't regret it.

"Who?" I pressed.

Someone jerked a thumb towards a couple of classmates who were lazily perched around the back of the classroom. One was a fellow with baggy clothes and an equally saggy posture, twiddling with his phone. He wore the look of a person who couldn't be bothered with the world as long as he could chill in peace. Must be one of those emo guys. The other one was a girl with frizzy long hair – a fashionable sort much like Eri – talking endlessly on the phone with who I could only imagine was her boyfriend, judging from the cringe-inducing sweet nothings that came out of her mouth.

They didn't make a very promising first impression of themselves. Were these the only ones left? Was there no second opinion?

I swallowed my pride and approached them, hoping that they might actually be wunderkinds in disguise. Lots of geniuses tended to border on the less-than-normal side, right? They took notice of me as I went over. The guy swiped droopy eyes at me, while the girl was just finishing up with her phone call.

"Um, excuse me," I said, "have you guys found a group for our class project yet?"

"No, we haven't," the girl replied. "What's up?"

"My name is Neku Sakuraba and I haven't had any luck finding anyone to form a group with. Uh… you two wanna get together with me?"

The girl, obviously a ditz and not the lovable kind, fiddled with her curly locks. "Huh? I already have a boyfriend…"

With a yawn, the guy added, "Forget it, dude. I don't swing that way."

Their inappropriate responses left me exasperated. I prayed that they were just very good at deadpan humour. But seriously, that's hardly the kind of thing to say to someone you've just met… Let me give this another go.

"No, look, I'm talking about the class project. According to what I know, we have to get into groups of three and come up with a report and presentation and stuff. I was hoping we could do something about it since none of us is in a group already. So… how about it?"

The saggy guy perked up, if only slightly, eyes largely hidden within the shadow of his cap. "…We got a project, dude?"

"Ah, um, yeah. I just found out today too… I was absent this morning, you see. And the deadline's next Thursday so we actually have less than a week to pull it off."

"…There's a deadline, dude?"

"Next Thursday? ! Oh my god!" The girl realized the gravity of our situation, or so I thought. "That's me and my boyfriend's two-month anniversary! We're slated for a hot date that day with a trip to a mountain hot spring resort! This is a real pickle I'm in!"

As she worked herself up into an unnecessary fit, the guy she was hanging out with took no more notice of me and turned his attention back to his phone. My view of these two idiots quickly deteriorated to the point of nothingness. I looked back over my shoulder at my classmates who were watching, and all they could do was offer me a thumbs-up for good luck before they vanished and left me to my fate. …You know what they say: there's nothing like good friends.

This was going to be a long week.

XOXOXOXOXO

My college buddies enlightened me with some background information on my newest group members. Apparently these two were the laziest, most unmotivated students of our class. Classmates and senpais who have had the misfortune of working with them before had warnings for me. Their lack of academic dedication showed: they often cut classes, their grades were poor, and the worst part was that they had actually been held back a semester. Why were they even in college anyway? They must be such good friends to fail and underachieve together.

I didn't even need chicken brains to know they weren't going to shoulder any leadership responsibilities if they could help it, so it was by default that I was to be in charge of the team. I didn't mind being a leader, but wasn't thrilled with having to work with these nutcases. Time was running short, so I decided it would be best to hold a meeting with them today after class. With barely an hour to myself before I had to hurry back for work, I grabbed hold of the lazy guy and dragged him to the cafeteria. The girl was nowhere to be seen though.

"Relax," he yawned. "I already messaged her to come. She'll be here in a bit."

"Where did she go anyway? Did she not come back to class after the break?"

"Guess not. If this is her we're talking about, I think she's busy again."

"Busy? Busy with what?"

"Eh, details."

He spoke no more, staring into his phone. I decided that the best nickname for him would be Burnout, for his sleepy attitude. I mean, seriously. Best conversation ever.

I shuddered to think that years ago I was like him: heavily anti-social and uninterested in the world. It's only thanks to the people I had met that I grew into a much better person. I definitely had no wish to return to those dull dreary days.

The girl came over soon enough, face flushed from running. Where studies were concerned, she was probably no better than Burnout but at least she added a lot more cheer to the stifling air. That didn't mean I had to be happy with her being late!

"Hey," I grumbled, "you're half an hour late. I may not look like it, but I have a schedule to keep, you know."

She attempted to drown my frustrations in a sea of giggles and sugar-coated liveliness. When she took her seat I noticed that Burnout didn't look her way even when she greeted him. Was he actually an unfriendly person, or was he the type to lose himself in his own world?

"Sorry, sorry!" she laughed. "I, uh… I was caught up in some very important business earlier. Believe me, I wanted to get off sooner but it just wasn't possible. Didn't mean to keep you waiting, honest!"

"What could be so 'important'," I asked carelessly, "that you'd wind up thirty minutes late?"

There's a limit to how much shamelessness a person can have. While I was accustomed to Eri's teasing and stripping, even she was no match for the boldness this girl had. All while she explained herself, she still had her bright and peppy mood in place to prop up whatever sense of normality was left of the awkward atmosphere. It helped little.

"Ahahaha… The truth is, I sneaked off during the break…"

"Y-You were skiving? !"

"…and went to my boyfriend's room at the campus hostel. It was worth missing the lecture, though. You wouldn't believe what an amazing threesome I just had!"

The soda spurted out of my mouth in a geyser. Say WHAT? !

She tried to elaborate further but only made my aching head worse. "So… me, my boyfriend and one of my girlfriends, right? We had a lot of fun, but I guess we took longer than I expected. These things generally take a while and I had to wait for my turn, so in the meantime I was playing with – "

"Hoi! Enough! Stop grossing me out more than is necessary!"

…I think I should call her Lusty. Suits her to a tee. What a bimbo! Eri may be gutter-minded much of the time but at least she had a lot more integrity and intelligence to match.

Amidst the nonsense, Burnout didn't flinch one bit. He must be used to hearing her talk about her 'adventures'. Either that or he didn't care.

I was out of time, so I dispensed with the talk about the importance of punctuality and just went ahead without it.

"Alright, guys," I said, "we're here to talk about what we need to do for that group project. It needs to be completed by Thursday, and we have both a report and presentation to do. Our topic is 'The positive and negative impacts of advertising on our society'. Let's think about what we need to look for. For starters – "

Burnout stopped me, mumbling with an almighty yawn. "Dude, I don't see why we need to be so fussy about this whole thing."

"What're you talking about?"

"We know what the project topic is… All we need to do is to find an article about it on the internet and then copy it into our report."

Lusty nodded her head in agreement. "Exactly what I was thinking! We'll do the same for the presentation. Just fit the article into the slides, make it all nice and pretty and we're done! Easy, right?"

"What? !" I gasped. "Are you saying… the _whole_ article? !"

"Just the paragraphs that look important." She sniggered in a furtive way, like she was letting me in on a secret trick that few people were aware of. "They don't need to read the whole thing."

"They don't need to read walls of text either," I retorted. "And just so you know, what you two are suggesting is plagiarism. We can't do that!"

"Why not? We've done it lots of times. It's a great tactic that saves you time and effort!"

Meanwhile, Burnout had the gall to play a video game on his phone while our meeting was underway. As he swiped furiously on the screen slicing up virtual fruits, it occurred to me that his index finger was actually livelier than his brain. He did manage to offer some of his more coherent thoughts, however.

"No one cares, dude. What she said, man – just whip up something that looks good and they wouldn't know the difference. So, like, stop being a fusspot already."

"Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V," chanted Lusty. "It's as simple as that!"

What in the world was their problem? ! These two really were the laziest students on campus! When my classmates said no one wanted to work with them, they sure weren't joking. What was I going to do with them?

I stood my ground and reiterated that it was wrong. "Even if you're okay with it, I'm not, and neither is our lecturer. We are going to do this project the proper way, that is to say we do research, gather our material, and then extract the main facts from it. It's not that I want a challenge, it's just that this is the right way to do things!"

They didn't like the sound of that. Apparently they would get away with anything if they could help it. …Not this time.

Lusty had her cheek puffed out like a spoilt child. "…Boo."

Her perpetually sleepy friend wasn't thrilled at having to exercise his brain cells. "You mean we actually gotta _think_ for this crud, dude? …Dammit."

Seeing how bad their sloth could go, I had my suspicions that they wouldn't be able – and couldn't be bothered – to deliver the results I was looking for. Forget about cooperation. If these two wouldn't have any of it, I'd be wasting my time getting them to handle tasks that were more complex than the average essay. It was because of this that I made the very hard decision to do the majority of the report and presentation, and while this was probably a bad move, leaving it to them was far worse!

"Try to think," I said to Lusty, "about how advertising has a positive impact on society. And as for you…" – now I turned to Burnout – "…you need to focus about the negative ones." I figured that what they were researching should fit their personalities – lively and half-dead, respectively. So here you go. "I'll think of some of the impacts too, but don't count on me too much. I need you to do your bit. Get your stuff done by Tuesday and then e-mail it to me. Got it?"

The meeting was over and we all got up to leave.

"Hmm. Ciao, dude."

"If you need me," said Lusty, "I'll be at my boyfriend's place, continuing where I left off. Can't waste a good evening doing nothing." Do your homework instead, woman!

A bloke who was bored at everything. A girl with an X-rated brain. And the hapless guy who was stupid enough to take them in. We must be the saddest group on campus ever. I told myself to stay strong and that I only needed to be with them until next Thursday, but until then the days ahead of me would be very, very dark with no hope of respite.

XOXOXOXOXO

_Ding-dong._

Who could that be at this hour? It was – whoa, it's morning already? ! And what's more, it's eight! To top it all off, I was still seated at my desk with my saliva-coated chin plastered onto the laptop I had being using since last night. After work, I pulled an all-nighter at home doing research for that group project… Goodness, it felt like there was someone using a pneumatic drill on my brain! My head hurt like the dickens.

Now, about the visitor currently wreaking havoc on my doorbell… Let's see who it was.

"Good morning, Neku!"

"Oh, Eri… It's you!"

As I did my best to rub the fuzz out of my eyes, a quick thought occurred to me: this whole week, I had been so busy I didn't get to see her much. There were maybe a couple of times when we'd get to talk on the morning bus to college, but that was all there was to it. After the burning muscles, cranky bosses and useless teammates, it was nice to be bathed in the warmth of the ray of sunshine that was her.

"Ready to hit the road?"

"Huh? Where are we going?"

She blinked owlishly at me in confusion. "Eh? It's Saturday. We're going to the supermarket, of course! To buy ingredients and stuff!"

"Supermarket? Ingredients?" I didn't quite understand her yet because of my grogginess… and it earned me a light bop to the head from a slightly exasperated Eri.

"Rise and shine already, will you? It's time for our cooking lesson! You said we were going to cook radish soup!"

"Whuh…? Cooking le– "

Oh, crud! That's right… Our cooking lessons were on Saturdays. As much as I loved our interactions in the kitchen, I felt that I wasn't up to holding one today. But Eri looked so eager to get our adventure started. I didn't want to deny her the pleasure of learning a new dish. However, it would be worse for both of us if I tried to work up the energy only to fail.

I didn't want to do this, but…

"Uh, Eri," I muttered, biting my lip, "is it okay if we postpone today's lesson to next week?"

The look of excitement gave way to puzzlement followed by disappointment. "But why?"

"I've been involved in a lot of things these past few days, and I've yet to get any sort of rest. Terribly sorry, Eri… but I'm very tired… If I do anything more on top of what I already have on my hands, I think I could just collapse from the exhaustion!"

She stroked my cheek to gauge my healthiness. "You haven't been very lively these days, I noticed. Not that you've always been a bouncing ball of energy, but still…"

I reached up to touch her hand, grateful that she cared. I enlightened her on the things that kept me on my toes: the part-time work, the gym, the college assignments… "Oh yeah, another thing," I added, "a friend of mine's got a bakery in town and they've started this 'Happy Hour' gimmick where everything is half price for a specific hour on Sundays, so things are sure to get hectic. He said he could really use some extra hands so I'm gonna go help him out…"

"You sure have your hands full, Neku."

"Isn't it great, though? He's paying me 1600 yen for this gig. That's an additional 1600 yen I can make in a week! You can't go wrong with more pocket money."

Now she understood my situation better. She must surely be impressed, seeing that I was taking the initiative in life, right? So then why didn't she display the enthusiasm that she showed when I first told her I got a job? Where's the praise and the smile that went with it? Something wasn't right. But… why? Shouldn't she be glad her boyfriend was being so proactive?

"Why are you doing so many things at a time?" she asked finally. "It's all a bit much, don't you think? You'll tire yourself out."

Her words surprised me, and not in a good way. What was with this reaction? I didn't understand why she was like this. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. I tried once more to get through to her. "Eri, I know you're worried about me but it'll seem like a lot only in the initial stages. Once I get the hang of it I'll be a pro at this multitasking business! I might get promoted too, and – "

"Neku, listen." Eri held up her hand to stop me. "I can see you're doing good things for yourself. You're working two jobs, you're pumping iron every day, you're the leader in a group project, and who knows what else. But I'm concerned that you may be piling on responsibilities without even thinking whether you can handle them adequately or not."

Did she have that little confidence in me? No, no, come on, man. That can't be it. She's just anxious about my stamina.

"You're also going to lose a lot of your free time," she added. "Is this really what you want?"

Despite the uneasiness growing in my gut, I braved a smile and reassured her that I was alright. "There's not much I can do about that, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I'll have everything down pat in no time! I just need to make a few adjustments to my schedule… Then all that's left is to get used to it and once _that's_ done I can expect to see better things down the line. And don't you worry… I'm not gonna be the weakling I used to be. You're looking at a brand new Neku!"

"I never once thought of you as a weakling," she said, "but I'm not sure that what you're doing now is really the right thing."

She had yet to be fully convinced, that much I could tell. But changing her outlook on me to an even more positive note was the challenge I was looking forward to. It's lost on her now but she'll get the message in time.

Until then, I hoped to alleviate some of her disappointment. "It'll be fine, Eri. Everything will work out. Um, so anyway… I'm sorry I can't do today's lesson… But I promise we'll do it next Saturday."

If there's one thing Eri was averse to, it was procrastination. She preferred to get things done on the spot when the time came instead of putting them off for another day. "Live in the now," she once put it. "Why wait till later?"

Faced with a set of undeniable reasons, however, she backed off when she might have already expressed her chagrin by now. Even better, she was slowly cheering up again.

"It's a promise, then. And Neku, I'm not sure where you're going to end up with your schedule as packed as it is, so… just don't go nuts."

"Thanks, Eri. I'll be careful."

Her lips moved slightly in a murmur that I couldn't hear. I thought it was her saying goodbye, but I saw her mouth form too many syllables.

"Eri? Did you say something?"

"Huh? I-It's nothing. I'll catch you later!" In a second, she snapped back to her usual happy-go-lucky ways and beamed at me one last time before excusing herself and leaving me to rest undisturbed for the rest of the day.

While I was preparing breakfast, I pondered over the morning's events and kept trying to make sense of her strange behaviour. What was it about what I did that she didn't agree with? Did I mess up somewhere? But no matter from whichever angle I viewed it, I could see nothing wrong. I was just being a hardworking person… just like the youths I kept hearing about in real-life stories where they toil and sweat blood for a good cause. Or it may not necessarily be for a good cause, even. They simply do a lot of things that they could add to their resume in the future.

Still, she didn't seem too happy, so there must be a reason behind it… Maybe it might have something to do with the silent words she muttered under her breath earlier. Hmmm… What was it she was trying to say? It wasn't very audible at all, but…

…it sounded like, "I kinda prefer the old Neku."

…

…

**Author's note:**

**Hello again everyone! Before I get on with the usual ramble, I just need to say this. The chapter I originally meant to upload was much longer. But because it was too long, I split it into two, so the first half is what we get for now. The second half will become Chapter 33 and it will be out soon, once I'm done with further editing and proof-reading. Seriously, if I release it all as a single chapter, you'll have at least 24000 words to read through, and that's a bit too much.**

**Now, on with the ramble. Once again we have a chapter that contains the all-important aspect of character development. Upon realizing that he lives in a world where the fittest survive – and I don't just mean fittest in a physical sense – Neku strives to become the perfect man for Eri. I wanted to show that he is an active participant in the relationship, not a bum who just sits there, contented that he's got a girlfriend. Once he knows how serious his situation can be, he doesn't wait. He does everything in his power to ensure that he is worthy of her affections. But how will it all turn out in the end? Only Chapter 33 will tell.**

**I'm concerned that the tone of this chapter turned out to be less comedic than I hoped. I just wanted to show a more serious side to the story, but I wonder if I may have jeopardized some of the humour.**

**I wanted to finish this by Xmas Eve 2014 but couldn't. I could have rushed, but wasn't willing to sacrifice quality. So this update was super-slow – sorry about that! – but at least I was satisfied with it. On the bright side, Chapter 33 is pretty much completed at this point so I will release that soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Watch this space… Bye!**


	33. To Become A Better Boyfriend, Part 2

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 33)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

As the new week unfolded, I began to feel the burn of my overly tight schedule. It's not so much about keeping things afloat anymore as it was about keeping _myself_ afloat.

My being at the gym nearly every day gave my limbs a constant, numbing sense of pain; it'll be a while before I could shrug it off handily. It's nice to get paid for my work at the ramen joint, but my boss' incessant complaints made it difficult to enjoy my job, and every shift ended on a slightly demoralizing note. Let's not forget coursework and the throwaway rejects I had as teammates. Working with them was frustrating at best; at worst, I wanted to murder them.

Due to time constraints, I was forced to hold regular meetings with them to gather all the material we had researched together and decide how best to put it all in a single informative presentation, plus the accompanying report. But their lackadaisical approach made it difficult to get things done. Whatever I told them to do, they always did it poorly and it was clear they didn't put in much effort. Fearing that we wouldn't be able to make it in time for Judgment Day (that's our Thursday deadline), I gave them only minor duties and did the lion's share of the work. It's not teamwork, I know… But that's the best course of action for now. The only course.

I was hopelessly busy… and whenever Eri popped by to crash over at my place, there was little I could do to attend to her. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday… She came every one of these days but it was the same story. I hated to see her bored, but I was sure she would understand my plight.

It's late into Tuesday night now, but I wasn't sleeping yet. I _should_ be, but I had to put in the finishing touches to our assignment. Once that's done, I need only wait for Lusty and Burnout to submit their stuff to me so I could add them in. Perhaps some editing here and there was necessary but hopefully I could be done with this by tonight.

The laptop pinged. That meant a new e-mail, hopefully from… alright! It's Burnout's. Let's take a look at his slides and –

Ugh! What on earth was this? !

The guy didn't even bother to spell his words correctly! There were at least three things wrong I could see here. The punctuation was all over the place. Some words were shortened like he was writing a message on his cell phone, so there were several glaring usages of '2' when he meant 'to', for example. Worse, everything was written in an 8 point-sized font! You could hardly see the bullet points, actually. How's anyone supposed to read this?

His partial report was no better. There's a limit to how much shoddiness I could tolerate. Here's looking at maybe another hour to sort this trash out.

Another ping? Oh, Lusty's stuff was in my mail this time… Huh? Why were there so many files? There should be just one partial report and a set of presentation slides… More importantly, what's up with that file extension? Those were photos! Wh-What had she been doing? !

Panicking, I clicked one of them open. When the image loaded onto the screen, I exclaimed in utter shock and nearly fell off my chair. Really took me by surprise. Never saw it coming.

I didn't think Lusty was the type of girl who would send naked photos of herself to classmates she barely knew.

Half of the photos were taken together with her equally naked boyfriend. They must have snapped themselves while they were being frantic in bed. Was she trying to make some sort of amateur porn album? !

The evening took a turn for the worse when Eri barged into my room.

"Neku, what's wrong? ! I heard you shouting just n–"

She charged right in, thinking that I was in trouble, but paused in her tracks when she laid eyes on the obscene photo sitting on my screen in all its HD glory. There followed an awkward pause of epic proportions during which she just gaped in horror and I sat there wondering how to explain myself and survive the lashing I would soon get.

"Um, Eri… This… uh… It's not, like…"

To my extreme discomfort, she started to chuckle. I recognized that laugh. It's not the happy one people use when they see something funny. It's the type you hear when someone's about to kill you. Her mouth stretched into a sadistic grin. And… whoa, I didn't know she could pop her knuckles like that! Somebody save me!

"Oh my," she said with a creepy drawl. "Drooling over another girl's nude photographs behind your girlfriend's back… It takes lots of guts to do that. I gotta hand it to you. But that's essentially the same as cheating… Are you aware of that… honey?"

"P-Please don't call me 'honey' when you're angry like that… It just makes it sound horrifying – uh, w-wait, hold on!" Suddenly, my brain clicked into action and I had a great idea on how to diffuse the tense situation. "I… I need to make a quick phone call, Eri. Just listen, then you'll understand! So, uh… I'm… I'm going to… call, um, now."

"Take your time… It could be your last." Yikes!

I grabbed my phone and dialed Lusty, making sure to turn the speaker on at full volume so that Eri could listen in on the conversation.

Lusty answered. "Um, h-hello?"

"Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you, but I really need to ask you about – wh-what is going on back there? !" In the background was a whole cacophony of noises… the kind humans make when they're… procreating. Eri's unhappy expression quickly turned into bewilderment.

As usual, my loopy teammate was very nonchalant about it. "Oh, that? Ahahaha! Please don't mind them. I'm taking part in another ménage a trois… It's my girlfriend's turn now, actually, and…"

I cleared my throat one too many times, and Eri was now totally red in the face. Who wouldn't? We were actually listening in on… on this… I didn't even know what to call it! So all the while I was talking to Lusty, we had to contend with all the muffled noises and the occasional scream. It was hell.

"Where is the project stuff you promised me?" I demanded. "All you mailed me was a bunch of dirty photos!"

She gasped. "What? Oh, I must have sent them to you by mistake! Hee hee… sorry about that! I meant to send them to my boyfriend."

"P-Please be a bit more responsible next time! I've got a girlfriend, you know. It's already caused a misunderstanding when she saw your photos."

"Ooh, really? I'm so sorry! I'll be more careful next time! Anyway, don't worry, I've completed everything. I'll send them to you once I'm done over – hey, hey! Shhh!" She addressed the two very busy friends in the background. "I'm trying to talk here, guys!"

I heard a word or two of "sorry" being muttered carelessly, but nothing changed. The other girl was starting to really scream the place down now. It was even harder to make out what Lusty was trying to say now. The sweat gushed down my face and neck. Eri didn't know quite where to look, even when there's nothing to see in a phone call. I turned off speaker mode. She'd heard enough by now. Gotta end it as quickly as possible. God… I couldn't take anymore of this myself.

"L-Look," I said. "Just send them over by tonight. And make sure you prepare your part of the speech. Do you hear me? You've got to practice for Thursday!"

"Okay! By the way, before I forget…"

"Yeah?"

"Those photos you got… They wouldn't happen to be yesterday's, would they?"

"H-How should I know? !"

And that's that. In the aftermath of the sleaze we had just bore witness to, the silence that returned to the room was welcome and serene. Eri was so mortified by what she had heard that her legs went weak and she had to sit down on my bed, clutching her forehead.

"That girl you were talking to," she groaned. "Who… Who is she again?"

"That's my teammate in that group project I was telling you about. Sorry you had to hear that. I meant for you to hear her words from her mouth so you would understand the whole story, but I guess we got more than we bargained for."

"I-Is she always like this?"

"Yeah," I grumbled. "There's no time when she doesn't think of _that_. One hundred percent bimbo, total nymphomaniac. Those photos you saw were not meant for me. I was waiting for her to send me the things I need to finish our assignment. It's all a big mistake. I'm sorry, Eri."

She shook her head, showing that she was no longer mad. "No, no! It's alright, I got it now! _I_ should be sorry instead."

I sat beside her. "Glad that's all cleared up then."

Eri leaned against my frame, breathing a sigh of relief. "Good to know that my faith in you hasn't been misplaced. You couldn't be the sort of guy who'd surf porn sites behind my back, that's for sure."

"Yeah, it's not really my thing. Besides, I don't need to. Not when you're always around anyway."

"Hee hee. Nice solid point you made there, Neku. …Jokes aside, can I just get something off my chest?"

"H-Huh? What do you – "

"Just so there're no misunderstandings, Neku, that's just a metaphor. I'm not going to take off my shirt. I _did_ say 'jokes aside'."

"R-Right…! So what did you want to talk about?"

"Your health. Among other things."

I could guess where she wanted to go with this but wasn't keen on giving her a repeat performance of last Saturday's 'reassurance speech'. Ten yen told me it wouldn't be as effective this time around.

"Eri, I'll be fine," I said, patting her on the knee. "I'm still here, see?"

"But you're not taking care of yourself. Do you know why I've been visiting you these past few evenings? No, it's not because I want to goof off. Your behaviour has been worrying me, so I wanted to check up on you to see how you're faring."

"That's why you've been coming in every day? I… I had no idea…"

"Look, it's nice to be invested in all sorts of activities, but let's face it, Neku: you haven't been coping very well. I don't know if it's because you're tired or pressed for time, but you've been doing things differently, skipping important steps. You don't cook dinner anymore, for instance. You just boil a packet of instant noodles and that's it."

That's true. I haven't been paying attention to my diet lately. Dinnertime always ended up late nowadays, so I had to resort to shortcuts – canned food and instant meals. But I tried to laugh it off and make it sound less serious than she had implied. The last thing I wanted was for her to worry further.

"My project deadline is coming up real soon, and I still have a lot to cover, so I really haven't found a lot of time on my hands to prepare my meals…"

"That's still no reason for you to eat like a slob. What's more, _you_ were the one who told me to eat more healthily. 'Do away with those TV dinners', you once said. Or something."

"Ah… er, point taken! B-But it's only temporary, I swear… Once the project is done, I'll be a free man!"

"You know, if our shifts didn't overlap I could cook you dinner on the days when you have work. That'd help reduce your workload."

Her generosity was the real thing and it was heartening to hear her words of kindness, but I declined her offer. "Whoa, I couldn't get you to do that for me… That's asking too much. Thanks though."

She started to adopt a slightly harsher tone to really drive home the point that she was worried. "Neku, you can't go on like this. You'll only get worse, in more ways than one. There are some things you can't really neglect. I'm not just talking about your own health, either. There are… others."

"Others? L-Like what?" What did I miss?

"Hmmm, you know what? I think I'll let you figure out that one yourself. If you're able to look at the big picture, then you should know what I'm talking about. Of course, you may not immediately understand, but I hope you do soon."

It's not like her to be so cryptic. She usually told me things straight and to the point. I wanted to put my questions to rest; coaxed by the urgency of my assignment, however, I eventually chucked the matter aside. There was little time I could spare for mind games.

Dismissing the issue as gently as I could, I said with a smile, "I'd love to take guesses, Eri, but I still have work to do. I'll think about it more when I'm free."

"You'd better do that," she said with unnecessary emphasis. "But in the meantime, there's something else you can do."

"What's that?"

The 'cruel' grin returned to her face, although it had been watered down to look less frightening. This could only mean she had something else on her mind, one final axe to grind with me.

"Delete those photos, Neku. Actually, do that now, please."

I laughed nervously, knowing that they left a bad taste in her mouth. "Ha ha ha… Eri, I'm not going to keep – "

"I know that," she said more menacingly. She peered into my face with a stern look that meant business, though the smile remained which made her appear even more disconcerting. "I just dislike the thought of your computer being infested with that… tramp's photographs. It's quite distressing. You wouldn't like it if I hoard photos of other guys on my phone, for example… yes?"

"Uh… I… No…"

"Good. Now, if you understand where I'm coming from, please delete those photos immediately. Or… I could do that for you if you like."

"N-No, I'll get to it!"

"Be sure to empty them from your recycle bin too."

"Y-Yes!"

She hovered around my desk like a vulture, refusing to leave until she was sure that Lusty's photos were permanently removed from my system. I mean, I had no intention of keeping them at all, but it was still a useful life lesson to know about the full extent Eri's jealousy could reach. She definitely had that clingy jealous girl attribute. I guess all girls with boyfriends did.

"Done?"

"All deleted," I gulped. "Just like you asked."

Satisfied, Eri offered me a smile.

"Well then, I shan't keep you occupied any longer. 'Night!" And then she left the room, leaving me to live another day. Talk about a close call…

Anyway, what _did_ she want to tell me? As I continued to work through the night, her riddle never left the confines of my head. I couldn't solve it. What was it about me that she still found lacking? What was that other thing that she implied I had neglected? In her eyes, shouldn't I be an accomplished boyfriend with everything I had been doing?

It's a pity that I wouldn't be figuring that one out soon.

But I should have.

XOXOXOXOXO

I was gradually adjusting to my new lifestyle. Classes during the day, gym in the afternoons if time permitted, and part-time work at night on some days. I was still struggling and lethargic by the end of each day, but it's only been a week, I kept telling myself. I wasn't expecting overnight changes. However, I got the general feeling that I was getting better at juggling my tasks, if only a little and at a glacial pace.

Try as I might, though, my cantankerous boss was ever so hard to deal with and nothing I did could appease him. Somewhere along the line, he must have forgotten that his employees were still people, not mindless robots.

"Faster, move faster, boy! Do those dishes! Step on it!"

"No offence, sir," I gulped, "but I got that already… You told me the exact same lines for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes!"

He shoved his face right into the bubble of my personal space and I got a dose of cigarette smoke-laced bad breath. Must be a chain smoker.

"Don't you talk back to me, boy," he huffed. "The truth of the matter is, you're too slow. Pick up the pace. My customers are waiting."

"Y-Yes sir."

When I was done for the evening, he came to me with my pay and some news.

"A… party?"

According to him, "one of our customers has reserved the entire restaurant for a gathering he's going to hold this Saturday. It'll get really busy, so we need all the help we can get. I'll be frank here… You're not entirely reliable yet for something as important as this, but I don't have much of a choice. Think you're up for it?"

Unsure of what to expect, I simply hesitated. He wasn't wrong. I was a clumsy inexperienced college freshman who's still running around the place like a headless chicken. How many times has my boss scolded me and told me to "stop being a useless bum, boy!"? I couldn't yet reach the level of competency that the other personnel displayed, and now I was being asked if I could help out at such a big occasion? My gut feeling told me to decline, to leave the tough stuff to the pros and old-timers, but then Sir Grumpy gave me some incentive.

"I'll pay you."

Lured in by the smell of extra cash, I agreed right away. "I'll make it, sir."

"Here's tonight's salary, boy. Now shoo."

He could have shown a little more gratitude… but I guess higher-ups aren't obliged to say thanks. Either way, I was set to work an extra night this weekend. His words stung like bees, but I told myself to ignore him as long as I was getting paid. Given the chance, however, I should probably find a better job…

XOXOXOXOXO

Thursday morning. Judgment Day. Today, we hold that presentation.

The report was completed, more or less for what it was worth. I had to edit it a lot for it to even make a shred of sense. But the presentation was another matter. My optimal plan was to hold a mock presentation with those two teammates so we could practice and nail the timing. Unfortunately, there was no way I could contact either of them. Both didn't pick up the phone and they were mysteriously absent yesterday. Not keen on wasting time, my only option was to practice by myself (all through last night too, which explains the dark circles around my eyes) and hope they wouldn't make too big a mess of it. Even if they butchered everything, I was hoping to salvage whatever dignity we would have left by delivering my part properly.

There's just one problem.

Where the heck were my teammates? ! They were nowhere to be seen!

Everywhere I looked, and not even a hint of their shadows. I asked around, explaining my predicament, and no one had an answer for me. They could only shake their heads in sympathy.

This was a presentation, for goodness' sake! It's part of our curriculum! Miss it and you'll likely fail the whole subject! What kind of idiot would cut class during such an important time? Our grades were on the line here!

I had three more groups to sit through before my team was slated to strut their stuff. As the seconds ticked by and they were still a no-show, I kept sending message after message to them with swelling urgency to just haul their sorry butts over here already. But there was no reply. I tried calling them too, but it was also no use. Was Burnout in hibernation, and Lusty engaged in another tug-of-war under the covers?

Much to my extreme discomfort, everyone else seemed to be doing fine. Their presentations were very well done, and one or two even got creative, earning praises from the lecturer. That's the type of work quality my team couldn't even hope to come close to. Supposing I had been paired up with someone else – anyone else, really – I could come up with something totally revolutionary, something that everyone would have to stand up and take notice of. But no amount of diligence could save the train wreck that I was about to offer to the class. It was too far beyond help to begin with. I shuddered to think what my classmates would say about it. Better start looking for places to hide my face.

"Sakuraba," said the lecturer, "you're up."

My heart stopped beating. It's our turn, and they were still not here! This was like a mean joke.

All eyes turned to me. The attention I was getting was unbearable. I sweated buckets.

"Come on, Sakuraba, is your group ready? Come up front if you are. We don't have all day."

"Um…" I didn't want to have to say this, but… "Sir, I'm afraid my teammates… They're… Th-They're not here yet."

A soft murmur of disbelief rose from the class. The lecturer had been fed on a steady diet of cleverness and intuition thanks to the efforts of the groups before me, and was currently in high spirits as a result, but the piece of bad news I had for him soured his mood and his frown was etched very deep in his brow. He silenced the class with a raised hand and then interrogated me further.

"What do you mean, 'not here'?"

"I… see… uh, it appears, well, they're absent. I mean, I've been trying to contact them but I could never get through. So, um…"

He shook his head, cross at this display of truancy. Instead of sympathizing with me, however, he simply warned me, "You do realize that this assignment carries a good percentage of your grade, don't you?"

Worried that he might just fail me, I spluttered, "I… I understand! I'm truly sorry… I'll keep trying to contact them!"

"We can't wait for you, Sakuraba, so for now I'm making your group the last one to present. Let's hope your teammates arrive before the class is over. Otherwise I may have to just give you a very poor grade…" Oh my goodness. Anything but failure!

For now, the other guys who were supposed to go after me took their turns and the lecturer's mood began to pick up again. Dammit! They're even better than the first few ones before me. How was I going to live up to the hype? My teammates already made me look bad. When it was time for us to roll I'd look even worse. "What happened to you, Neku Sakuraba?" they might say. "We had no idea you could come up with trash this bad." Kuh… My reputation was going to take a big hit here…

I renewed my attempts to establish contact with Lusty and Burnout. I was a desperate man running on borrowed time and these idiots were taking things nice and slow! Where were they? ! I was running out of fingernails to chew on!

My mind began to wander. How did this happen? When you're in the biggest pinch of your life, it's difficult to keep your thoughts in line, and you start to think deeper into the situation you have found yourself in. Where did it all begin? Right, it wouldn't have come to this if I hadn't recruited Lusty and Burnout. I should have looked around harder for potential teammates. But it's not like I had a choice… Everyone's groups had been decided. If I had just gone to the morning lecture, I'd be in a killer team now. Long story short, I had dug my own grave. I wanted nothing better than to whack my head against the wall.

I was inclined to delve even deeper into the chain of events that led up to this, but a miracle happened… if it could really be called one. The classroom door squeaked open, and in trooped Lusty and Burnout, almost an hour late and not caring that they were. The class was in utter shock and the lecturer wasn't happy in the slightest. I was besieged by an odd concoction of relief and anger.

"What is the meaning of this? !" snapped the lecturer. "Have you any idea what time it is? !"

Lusty laughed, trying to downplay the seriousness of the situation. "Aw, come on, teach! I'm really sorry, okay? I was caught up in heavy traffic, is all." Nodding towards her half-dead friend, she added, "Same goes for him. We carpool, see? So – "

"Spare the half-baked excuses and sit down at once! And be sure you're ready for your presentation."

Clearly exasperated but unwilling to waste time, he waved them away and motioned the group up front to continue. Lusty and Burnout sat next to me, and I was positively bristling. I had half a mind to berate the living daylights out of them, but decided against it. There's no point getting worked up over them. By the time class was over, I would be free from their curse and could go on my merry way.

"You're way too late," I hissed. "What actually happened? And don't tell me it's because of traffic congestion."

"Eheh… Well, you found us out." It's amazing how she could still giggle when they were at fault. Even more amazing was that she could disclose the real reason without batting an eyelid. "I… uh, I was trying to set a new record with my boyfriend. So far we – "

"Stop. I don't wanna know." I directed a sharp glare at Burnout, forcing him to speak up.

"I was trying," he explained, "to raise my position into the rankings of _Ethuria's Legacy_. It's not easy to get into the top 50 and I had to play non-stop for the past few days."

"What the heck…" My head was spinning. "You mean you've been playing games this whole time? What about the speech you're supposed to be practicing?"

Burnout frowned slightly, suggesting that I had said something stupid. "Dude, I hardly had time to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom. Ten minutes of inactivity is all it takes to drop out of the top 50… You're saying I should waste my time practicing a speech?"

"Yes!"

It wasn't worth the time and effort trying to straighten them up. I was going to be done with them in less than an hour's time anyway, so for now all I did was give them last-minute instructions on what to do during the presentation.

It really sucked being the last group for the day. Waiting for our turn was an ordeal arguably worse than the actual presentation itself. All I could think of was how they were going to botch everything. It didn't help that the rest of the class was amazing at what they did. We were the odd ones out. I'd be a laughingstock that people would point at and say, "ooh, look, there's Neku, the hapless sap who partnered up with two of the worst dummies in college. Is he out of his mind or what? !" The worst day of my life… and I hadn't even come to the main course!

The group before us finished their presentation to a rousing round of applause. They did a great job, to say the least. If anything, they were probably the best out of the lot. Which placed even more pressure on me. But neither Lusty nor Burnout was particularly troubled by it. "Once it's over," they must be thinking, "it's over, so whatever." They couldn't understand what it's like to have pride!

We were up now. Well, this was it, huh. Fine, I'll just do my best and leave the rest to fate. At this point, there was little I could do anyway.

After I was done introducing the team to the class and giving a brief insight on the project topic, I passed the ball over to Lusty who went next as instructed and she took center stage.

"So, like, see," she began, "advertisements are all nice and glossy and stuff, right? But, like, you know, they got good and bad stuff going on for them and I'm here to give you the lowdown on all the goodies about them." She jerked her head towards Burnout and added, "He'll give you _allll_ the details about their icky dirty side, but for now you've got me. Hee hee!"

Oh god… That sickly enthusiastic manner of hers… She was like a hopping bunny on steroids. Much of what she said had plenty of fluff but little substance. Filter away the sunny nonsense and there'd be little left to chew on. She didn't put in enough research and now was just trying to scrape through with useless padding and that perpetually happy attitude of hers. I wasn't sure the class could take any more of her drivel. I wasn't sure _I_ could.

"Take a look at the advertisements of today," she rambled, "and you'll see there's plenty good for everyone all around! In fact, they're so advantageous, our lives wouldn't be the same anymore without them. They've become an inseparable part of our lives! And – "

The lecturer caught on long ago. He wasn't stupid. He raised his hand and bluntly cut her off, "Ahem. Is there _anything_ else you'd like to say?"

"Huh?"

"I had the impression we're supposed to hear about the positive impacts of advertisements on our society. Well? All you've been saying is that they're good, but we want to know the _how_. The _why_. So what have you got for us? What about those pointers you've written on your slides? Surely you can tell us something?"

Lusty had been counting on her 'foolproof' plan to get by but it wouldn't work anymore. That's what happens when you don't do your homework. You resort to stupid tactics. Then you crash and burn.

She glanced to one side, biting her lip in deep thought, with a prolonged "hmmm" to show the class that she was still here. But she was stuck, I knew. I had to come to the rescue.

"For starters," I said, "advertisements are – "

However, the lecturer stopped me brusquely. "Sakuraba, I asked her, not you." There was a snigger or two from the audience, but I was too nervous to be annoyed. Dammit, now I couldn't even help my teammates! What now?

Lusty had a simple solution.

"Well," she said, "what you see is what you get. So, uh, on with the next part?"

"Is that really all you intend to say?" grumbled the lecturer.

"Ah, yes sir!"

I could have died on the spot watching him make all those beautiful frowns on his forehead.

"We don't have time for this. Next."

He just gave up on her. That's real smart, girl! So smart even idiots would be put to shame.

Burnout's part was also poorly delivered. A plate of spaghetti would have more zest and enthusiasm than his bore fest. Unlike his airhead partner, he had his speech – no doubt culled from outside sources without bothering to edit it – prepared on a piece of paper, which was fine if you needed the occasional reminder of what to say. But he was reading directly from it, like he was reading from a textbook, which was downright uninteresting and even more unbearable to sit through. The natural monotone of his voice would be great if we needed help sleeping. But we had to be awake, so… that sucked.

"…has been shown that during a ten-year period from 2000 to 2010, at least 80% of the general population had overspent on goods that were advertised by means of applying peer pressure. In addition, 69% of…"

I took a sweeping glance at our audience, and found them to be doing all manner of things: talking softly amongst themselves, fiddling with their phones, doodling in their notebooks or staring off into space. Everything but listening. Heck, even the lecturer was spacing out.

It was an act of mercy that he stopped him too. "Okay, we've heard enough. Sakuraba, it's your turn next, isn't it? Go for it."

I sprang into action. Meanwhile, Burnout just shrugged and shuffled away, probably glad that his job was done. No kidding. Even I was glad.

With the two out of the way it was my turn to play, and damage control was the name of the game. I had confidence that my portion of the speech would raise our dwindling grades, so I didn't hold back and launched a fluent and reasonably exciting speech that worked wonders to rejuvenate the flaccid atmosphere. In just a minute the class had come alive again.

"I'm just going to touch on another quick case study," I said, getting pumped. "This time, we have the October 1998 campaign of – "

"Sakuraba."

Just when I was about to start having fun, the lecturer ground me to a halt. He tapped on his watch, giving me the awful news…

"You're out of time. Wrap it up."

In disbelief I protested, "B-But sir, I… I only just started…"

"Each group is given ten minutes to present. Your teammates spent nine out of the maximum ten, so you only had one left. I'm sorry, but time's up."

My face went blue with shock. Well, at least I think it did; I didn't have a mirror handy to see my own face. Did all the effort I had put into making my own speech a smash hit just disappear in a puff of smoke? Just like that? I was rooted to the spot, not quite ready to accept my fate. I had worked so hard for this, so where's my fat crowning moment of awesomeness, huh?

I returned to my seat in a daze. This was supposed to be a simple group project. It shouldn't go like this…

There was a general aura of sympathy for me all around. But at the same time, I got the feeling that they were glad to not be in my shoes.

Afterwards, when classes were over, Lusty and Burnout were nowhere to be seen. They had no parting words for me, didn't say anything like "it's been fun working together". No further apologies for causing me worry and making a mess of themselves. Their job was done so now it was time for them to vanish and go where the wind carried them. It's safe to say I wouldn't have anything to do with them anymore, and you know what? I bet the feeling's mutual. They only cared about their own insignificant little worlds.

The experience was so humiliating that it was hard to put it behind me during work. No wonder the boss was yelling at me so much. I couldn't concentrate well and was making mistakes left and right.

"How many times have I told you, boy? ! The three shoyu ramen go to the table on the far side, the tonkotsu ramen belongs to the elderly lady in the corner seat, and you need to give the side order of dumplings to the latest customer who came in!"

"Er… um, wh-which one is the latest customer –"

"You idiot!" he snapped. "It's the one with the blue shirt! There is only one person with a blue shirt at the moment! He came in about ten minutes ago. And it's inexcusable to make him wait that long! Now get going!"

That was the longest day of my life and I was glad for once that all things must come to an end. My brain, pushed to the limits from the trials I was forced to overcome, had all but turned to slush inside my skull. I had to hold my head steady to stop it from spilling out of my ear.

I was supposed to go to sleep and be relieved that my ordeal was over, but why couldn't I relax? Was there something I had missed? My shift for the evening was done, and I already turned in my report. Actually, all the assignments that bogged me down the past two weeks had been handed in. There couldn't be anything else…

"Oh…"

Then I remembered.

"Crud… CRUD CRUD CRUD…! ! !"

Tomorrow's test… I forgot all about it! I was so preoccupied with everything that I didn't even touch my study materials! Out of the frying pan and into the fire…

I was so screwed!

XOXOXOXOXO

Just my luck to start my Friday with the 8 am class and a head full of sleep.

I was up all of last night, cramming as much as I could. I had to turn to my entire supply of coffee and energy drinks, even ginseng… whatever that could keep me awake. As I crawled on into the wee hours of the morning, it became harder to keep my eyelids open. Not even the cheeky photos of Eri in her underwear helped anymore and I eventually dozed off at my desk. When the alarm clock rang I clocked in at a grand total of two hours of sleep.

But that's okay. I'd have to meet up with Eri at the bus-stop. I was banking on her to help wake me up with her positive energy.

"Good morning, Neku!" she chirped. "Still asleep, I see."

"Yeah," I yawned. "I pulled an all-nighter."

"An all-nighter? Again?"

"I had to burn the midnight oil for the test today. That's why I'm still half-asleep. Got any tips on how to wake up fully?"

"Hmmm…" Nonchalantly, she replied, "How about I slap you to smithereens? That should do the trick."

"Uh… no."

"Then I can give you a kick to the groin if that works."

I recoiled in fright. She'd done that to me once and I sure as heck didn't want to experience the pain again! "Th-That's even worse!"

"I brought a hardcover textbook with me today. A nice big whack in the head with it should be sufficient – "

"Are you trying to kill me? !" I spluttered. "Why are all your methods so violent? !"

She sniggered. "Don't worry, I was joking. But you're wide awake now, aren't you? The best way to rouse someone out of their sleep is to scare them. That's what I heard anyway, so I've been meaning to try that someday. I'm convinced that works now."

I sighed. "That's not good for my health, you know…"

"Then you should sleep enough in the first place," she retorted, "instead of relying on screwball methods to achieve a quick fix."

"You're the one who suggested them in the first place!"

During the bus ride, after a time, Eri claimed, "You know, this is very strange of you."

"Strange? What did I do?"

"You don't usually do all-nighters." She tilted her head to one side, with a finger pressed against her cheek. "You've always been so organized, Neku. All your life, you never needed to stay up too late to do anything, so you always began each day nice and refreshed. You're good at making time, see? I've been your friend since high school. I should know. That's what I mean by strange."

"I had a lot of coursework I needed to take care of, so I didn't get to study much. Plus I have my job, and – "

"You're taking a huge hit to your health like this. You need the proper amount of sleep. This isn't going to continue the way it is now, is it? I've seen you suffer for far too long."

There she went again. She's getting herself worked up over nothing. Didn't I tell her a million times already that everything would be fine under my watch? Why did she have to keep coming up with these doomsday scenarios? Sure, I wasn't the suavest guy in town but I was making progress. Would it kill her to notice the good things I'd been up to?

"Eri," I said wryly, "it's only been two weeks. A little bit of hard work isn't going to kill me. In fact, I've never felt more alive than before!"

"Even though you're half-dead with sleep depravity?"

"You don't need to get on my case like that," I grumbled. "I'm working my hardest here. I'm just… trying to be a responsible guy, you know? Everything I've been doing, it's all for my own good and some. Stop worrying, okay?"

Her brow scrunched up in obvious dislike of my tone, but she tried to be firm without making a scene.

"It's not up to you," she countered, "to decide whether I should be worried or not. I can't help how I am."

"Then at least try not to make a big fuss out of it…"

Her tone became firmer. This was the 'no-nonsense' mode she used whenever she had an important point to get across. "Neku, it's not just your current state of health that's gotten me in a tizzy, it's a lot of other things, really… The point is, your current lifestyle isn't very… reassuring to me. I don't think you're living life the right way."

Those words both confounded and frustrated me. I had been accomplishing so much, yet she refused to recognize the effort I had been putting in. It's like… my actions had the opposite effect of what I was hoping for. Why couldn't she see the me that was hardworking and willing to go the extra mile?

"Eri, look. Why – "

"Why? Why am I being such a pain in the behind? Is that what you're trying to say, mister?" She was so uncannily close to what I had in mind that I was surprised into silence. "Well, if I'm right, then I've got just the answer for you."

"Wha…?"

"Because I'm your girlfriend."

I didn't really get it at the time. I guess it's because of my fuzzy head. Just then, her college loomed into view and it was time for her to get off. She lingered around for a moment or two, leaving me with a few words to mull over.

"Put yourself in my shoes. That's all I ask of you."

Then she was gone and I was left to ponder the meaning of her mysterious message.

I was about to do some deep thinking just as she suggested but was quickly waylaid by urgent thoughts of my upcoming test. Goodness, I just realized there's this one chapter I hadn't covered much of!

When I arrived at college, the class was abuzz with excitement and activity. Everyone was exchanging notes and recapping on past lessons. I quickly joined a group of my closer friends and lost no time doing last-minute speed learning with them, although it unnerved me to see how much more prepared they were than me. They were ready to fight. On the other hand, I came here to get my butt whupped, pretty much.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the classroom door swung open. Actually, I think we all did. Regardless of whether you were good at studies or a total flunk, no one liked exams. They were a necessary evil. But then it was the class rep who sauntered in, not the lecturer, so thank goodness for small favours.

"Uh, I got good news and bad," he said. We were all ears and he gave us the good news first. "The lecturer is caught up in an emergency so he wouldn't be in and the test has been postponed."

Most of us whooped. Well, that's good news alright! But nothing comes without a price…

"The bad news is that it'll be held tomorrow."

Delight turned to annoyance and despair. The class was pretty vocal about it.

"Who the _hell_ holds a test on a _Saturday? !_" called out someone, to much agreement. Several other classmates joined in the outcry, leaving the poor class rep to try and calm us down.

For me, this was a godsend. An extra day for studies. Couldn't be bad. Except I found out that the test would be held in the afternoon, which made me realize that I wouldn't be able to hold that overdue cooking lesson with Eri since I needed the morning to cram. Doing it in the evening was a no-go too – I was slated to help out for the gathering at the ramen joint tomorrow night. Eri had been clamouring to learn the secrets of radish soup from me since last week and I'd promised her. She definitely wouldn't like this but if I explained myself I was sure she would understand.

Hopefully, anyway.

XOXOXOXOXO

Saturday morning began with this charming one-liner courtesy of Eri.

"Eh? ! Postponed again? !"

Well, technically, that's two lines, but you get the idea.

So it's Saturday and Eri appeared at my doorstep, eager for the cooking lesson I owed her. The news I had came as a rude surprise.

"I'm sorry, Eri!" I pressed my palms together in an apologetic fashion. "I know you've been waiting for this but I really, absolutely can't make it…"

"You've got a test today, huh, Neku? That's… hardly convenient."

"I've got to cram and stuff. It'll be a hell of a ride. Once again I'm awfully sorry… How about another time?"

Eri was quick to brush it off. "Hmmm, it can't be helped. Oh well, it's too bad about today, but you should be free for tonight at least, right?"

"…Tonight? Uh… what's happening tonight?"

What was with that blank stare she was giving me right now? Did I just say something strange, something outrageous? Her eyes suddenly lost the usual sheen and looked like two holes gaping out of her head. Creepy.

"Neku," she said in a hollow voice, "could it be… you actually forgot?"

"Wh-What?"

What was she going on about? There was nothing I could recall. I was reduced to taking random guesses, none of which made their mark.

"Did you want to have that cooking lesson tonight?" I said. "Or was there an errand I should be taking care of? But… But I've got overtime this evening. My boss needs my assistance for a party at his ramen joint…"

"You…" Her voice was even quieter. "You _did_ forget… You even agreed to take on an extra night of work."

"Huh? What… What is it?"

Her pretty face was marred by a growing sense of disappointment. I knew that look. It made me uneasy to see her shoulders slumped like that.

"E-Eri…?"

"…idiot."

She called me an idiot? Why did she call me that? What was it that she claimed slipped my mind? I wouldn't know unless she told me, but was it something I was expected to remember?

"Ah well," she sighed with a limp shrug, "maybe you'll remember along the way. That'd be great. By all means, take your time and think about it. You have one whole day, so… no rush."

"Eri, hang on… This…"

"Sorry, I shouldn't take up any more of your time. You've got to study for that test… Plus, Shiki's been pestering me to go shopping with her for clothing materials. I might as well get to that."

Completely tongue-tied, I could only call out to her in vain as she walked away. "Hey, wait!"

But she didn't linger around. I was left at the doorstep with a million questions I couldn't answer.

As far as the clues went, I must have arranged to do something together with Eri. A date, most likely. What kind, though? It couldn't be the movies. Not only was there nothing we wanted to watch, but if there was I'd have gotten the tickets way before I had the chance to forget. Seats can fill up rather quickly at the cinema, you see, and a single moment of procrastination can lead to frustration down the road. Were we going on a trip? Like, to an onsen? If so, I'd have made preparations such as making reservations and packing my luggage. I'd also have been more aware of it, so it wasn't that either. Were we simply eating out for dinner?

I didn't know anymore. The rest of the day left me constantly haunted by this chunk of doubt that wouldn't let go of my mind.

XOXOXOXOXO

After wrestling with the test, which I found to be fairly hard, I had scarcely enough time to grab a bite at WildKat's before I was due to show up at my workplace. Try as I might, I couldn't get Eri out of my head, but don't be mistaken: it was as far from a lovey-dovey daydream as it could roam.

"…idiot." Again and again it echoed in my skull. "…idiot… idiot… idiot…"

Fine, maybe I was an idiot… But why? I get that I'd been an awkward guy all my life, but anyone could see I was trying my hardest. Working out at the gym, taking on leadership duties, doing part-time work… and two jobs at that! Once or twice the thought even occurred to me that I should take up martial arts classes when things weren't so hectic. The crime rate has been pretty high as of late and I wanted to be able to protect her.

Could she really be that unobservant? That's not possible… When I told her I found a job, she was so happy for me. So then, why –

"Why the long face, boss?"

"Huh? Oh… Mr H."

"If you don't eat up," he said, with that trademark lazy grin, "your pumpkin soup's gonna grow cold. …Seriously, though, you look like you could use a facelift."

"D-Do I look that glum? Ah, sorry."

Mr Hanekoma swiped an empty cup and filled it up from the coffee machine. He took a good swig. "I don't have a lot of customers at the moment. I can spare some time to listen, if you like."

He may be an aging codger with a slightly strange outlook on life and a frightening addiction to coffee, but he's seen much of the world. Perhaps he could tell me what I should do.

"So, um… Mr H? Well, actually…"

I told him the whole story, every detail of it. There was the part where Kariya warned me to be mindful of the competition willing to take Eri away from my hands. Then I told him about all of the various things I had been doing to better myself, as well as when my new schedule started to take its toll on me.

"Eri started out okay with me," I sighed, "but lately she's been pretty harsh, saying that I'm not taking care of myself… And now she even calls me an idiot for supposedly forgetting what it is that's going down this evening. Long story short, I don't get it. She makes it seem like something's wrong with the direction my life is going, but I haven't a clue as to what."

He refilled his cup for the third time. Loved his java, that guy. "So as I see it, you've been working hard for yourself as well as for her. But somewhere along the line, it all went wrong."

"I keep telling myself it'll work out, but I'm starting to think it may not be so easy after all. If I could just figure out what the problem is, I should be able to get back on track. Mr H, what do you think?"

A fatherly smile emerged from his stubble-ridden face. But just when I thought he'd enlighten me with some hard-earned wisdom, he gave a chuckle. "I think if you don't hurry up, you'll be late for your job."

My eyes snapped to the clock hanging on the nearby wall. He was right. "Oh, crud… I didn't realize how long I took talking!" I wolfed down the remainder of my pumpkin soup with lightning speed and scrambled to leave, but he stopped me.

"Before you go, Phones, I should probably leave you with some cud to chew."

"What's that?"

"You don't need to be rich and strong to protect your loved ones."

"Um… didn't you tell me that before? Like, way back. Two weeks ago?"

"I sure did. And if you haven't worked out the meaning yourself yet, here's a big clue: you can strive to become the strongest man in town, or the richest, or the most talented, but… if you can't love your girlfriend properly, everything you've worked so hard for will have no meaning."

Those sounded like some wise words, but again to my chagrin, I couldn't understand them. First Eri, now him… Why must everyone talk to me in riddles? Sometimes all I wanted was a straightforward approach. Could I help it if I didn't want to have to think so much at times? Just give me the advice already.

"I… uh… I don't know what you mean, sorry."

"You'll get it soon enough, Phones," he said with a generous stroke of his chin. "Now hurry along. You don't want to go deaf from your boss' yelling."

I repeated what he said in my mind over and over, trying to distill it into its purest form. Most of it was simple, but the real head-scratcher was the part where "if you can't love your girlfriend properly, everything you've worked so hard for will have no meaning". But I love Eri very much. That's why I'd been keeping myself busy. Unfortunately, that much was all I could scratch off of the surface. Just what was that missing puzzle piece?

Overtime at the ramen joint was a non-stop deluge of work. Some wealthy old fellow had booked the entire place to himself and a whole entourage of his guests – businessmen and other posh-looking individuals who liked to drone on about making money. I was kept busy taking orders, serving dishes, refilling glasses of tea… and then switching places at halftime with the guys in the kitchen to wash up and prepare food. But this was nothing new; I'd been on this job for two whole weeks. The boss was still sharp-tongued as ever… He was barking at us employees so much, it almost felt like an in-joke.

Patience, I told myself. This job wasn't the best in the world, but it was a stepping stone to greater things. I intended to quit at some point once I felt I was ready to take on a more challenging – and better-paying – job. Letting my imagination loose was exciting.

I just wished I could do something about the mystery behind Eri's frustration. Asking her straight in the face would be the fastest option, but it was also the most dangerous. She might get really angry… What's a hapless guy like myself to do?

Without splurging on details, let's fast forward to the end of my night. When the shop closed up and the last table had been wiped down, my boss called me over just as the rest of the staff was leaving. When the place was quite empty, he had big news for me. Surprisingly, he wasn't as grumpy as he usually was. Not surprisingly, there was a good reason for that.

"Alright, boy, you don't need to come to work again."

I looked at him blankly. "I… I beg your pardon?"

"I said I don't require your services anymore. Here's your severance." He practically forced me to take the envelope.

I was frozen stiff with disbelief. I had only been here for two weeks, and already he didn't need me? At the very least, I ought to know why I was given the boot. As gingerly and politely as I could handle it, I asked him. But his reply was a painfully brief and inconclusive one.

"No reason. Now get out."

He must want to get rid of me that badly. Couldn't blame him, really. I had committed blunder after blunder the whole time I was employed and, frankly, this might be my comeuppance. I knew I had done lots of wrong and little right. In his eyes, I was more disposable than a wad of used tissue paper. He couldn't even be bothered to explain why he had fired me. The sooner I was gone from his life, the sooner he could celebrate.

With envelope in hand, I trudged out the back door and nearly fell over onto my face when he actually pushed me from behind, as though I was taking too long making my exit. Then the door slammed shut and it was the last time I would see him. Maybe it's for the better. That kind of working environment couldn't be good for my health.

You know, when I mentioned that I wanted to eventually quit, I didn't mean now…

I opened the envelope and leafed through my money. "Damn," I hissed, "he gave me 200 yen less."

200 yen is a paltry amount to get worked up over, but this was a matter of principle. It rightfully belonged to me, so I should get it back. Then again, let's face it. It couldn't be worth the trouble of hounding my now ex-boss for it. I gave up and made the long walk back home. If anything good came out of this, it's that I didn't need to see his ugly bulldog face again. I still had the Sunday job at my friend's bakery so it's not like I had been left completely high and dry. It only meant that I earned a little less.

Now what do I do with Eri… Still couldn't figure out what she wanted to accomplish with me tonight. Seriously, I hadn't the slightest clue! Don't tell me she… she…

"You idiot," her imaginary voice drawled, "I'm so eager to break Rule #3 with you, but you keep me waiting… There'll be no more excuses tonight."

Before my deranged mind could solidify images of her lying in bed wearing nothing but belts, I willed my free hand to smack myself upside the head. I actually did it, you know. It stung and people were staring.

Come on, man… focus! This was no time for bondage fantasies. Didn't I see how displeased she was with me? Something serious was going down tonight and I must have botched it by now, seeing how late the night had gotten. I was out of options and at my wit's end.

Alright, I'll go pay her a visit and ask her about it. She'd be very unhappy, but it's better than running around without a clue…

However, she wasn't at home. I tried calling her but she didn't answer either. Was she _that_ angry? Anyway, where could she have gone at this time of the night? Was she out with her drinking buddies again? I thought she had reformed herself into a teetotaler. She gave up on alcohol, so she had no reason to keep hanging out at bars, unless it's to socialize with her friends.

As I lingered in front of her doorstep thinking of the next best course of action, I absentmindedly browsed through my phone's contents and presently found myself looking through the list of messages exchanged between us. As per her famously sunny disposition, whatever she wrote was super-cheery and almost always with a fun emoticon slapped on, even when it was just a single sentence like "_i gotta work now honey, dun feel lonely without me XD_".

One of the latest ones was a photo of an advertisement that she sent me.

"'Winter Indie Music Festival 20XX… Feast your ears on the biggest blowout event to cap off a stellar year! Featuring the hottest stars from…'"

Hmmm… Why did that seem familiar?

Then I read the accompanying message. "_So enthused!_" she wrote. "_Cant wait! Lets b sure 2 go 2gether! :D_"

Oh no… Now I knew…

It dawned on me at last. The thing Eri claimed I forgot… I remembered what it was now. All of what had happened over the duration of the last two weeks that had any direct relation to my predicament came flooding back to me. I made a promise to go with her to this concert… and I just let it slip by like it was nothing important. Unbelievable. I actually let this happen! I even accepted an extra night's worth of work. How much of an idiot could I be?

Now that I knew what had gotten her knickers in a twist, it wasn't too hard to guess where she was right now. She wasn't at home because she had gone to watch the concert… without me. It's half past eleven now and close to wrapping up, but if I hurried I might still be able to catch her…

XOXOXOXOXO

Here I was. A-East. It should come as no surprise that the indie music festival would be held at the biggest concert stage in Shibuya. Midnight was fast approaching, and I guess the event was all but over by now, judging by the concert-goers who were pouring out in full force. They were probably hundreds… even thousands strong. It's just that many people. How was I going to find Eri? It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the needle was very small and the haystack very big.

It would be impossible to locate her in this throng. I dialed her number again, hoping to reach her this time. Come on, pick up the phone… She couldn't be far…

There was no response for a good while. Even over the murmur of the crowd, I'd have picked out her ringtone by now. It was loud, unique and stank of The Prince's sappy lyrics which I was loathe to listen to. Was her phone on silent mode? Or had she left long before I arrived? Or maybe… she wasn't even here to begin with?

It would be easy to cut off my search and contact her tomorrow. She'd _have_ to be home at some point. But I couldn't wait. I wanted to apologise to her now. I wanted her to know I was still kind and sincere and… gosh darn it, more than anything I needed to tell her that despite the mistakes I'd made I still loved her.

Just as I was about to get truly desperate – I even contemplated yelling for her at the top of my voice – I felt someone whack me softly on the top of my head with what felt like a karate chop. Nothing painful, but it startled me somewhat. I spun round to face the attacker…

…and what do you know, there she was with a wry sneer on her face.

"Well, well," she snorted, "look who decided to show up late."

"E-Eri…"

Whenever I made a promise to someone, I would keep it. I wasn't the type to break them later on and clean up my own mess apologising. If I couldn't do something, I wouldn't claim that I could and ruin everyone's expectations of me. It just wasn't my style. That's why this was a blow to my pride.

"Eri, I… I need to talk to you. About… everything."

Now with a more wistful look on her face, she said softly, "Yeah… I think we should. These days, it feels like I can't even recognize you."

Yeah… I couldn't even recognize myself.

XOXOXOXOXO

At this hour, the park centered around the Statue of Hachiko was nearly empty, but we managed to get some snacks from the adjoining Sunshine fast-food restaurant just before closing time.

Eri popped a French fry into her mouth. "Alright, Neku. If you have something to say, I'll hear you out."

I jumped at the opportunity to make amends. "I'm sorry about everything, Eri… It shames me to say it, but I totally forgot about the concert. We were supposed to go together."

"You're not usually this forgetful," she noted, surprisingly without any hint of spite. "Not when it comes to our dates and, well, everything in general. I mean, you'd been saying you wanted to watch _Concrete Guys_ in action, but you just up and missed it altogether. They were pretty good, by the way. As was Ryoko*L and the rest. So it's a huge loss that you didn't show up."

"It bothers me more that I couldn't go with you." The guilt was tremendous and ate at me from the inside. "Sorry… I just… well, messed up, I guess…"

Eri took her sweet time chewing those French fries. "Neku, is there something you're not telling me?"

Her question puzzled me. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been doing a lot of things these days and tiring yourself out in the process, so I've been wondering if there's a reason that's compelling enough for you to go through all that trouble. I'm just concerned that you may have defeated the purpose for doing them in the first place."

"But I… I'm sure that I'm – "

"In any case, I think I ought to at least have an idea of what you've been up to, wouldn't you agree? As your girlfriend, I have a right to know. So as my boyfriend, you ought to open up to me more. Talk to me. Let me in."

Let me in? Now that's nostalgic. Back when I was still an antisocial guy who hated the world, those were the exact same words Shiki said to me in a desperate effort to know me better. The barriers I used to erect around myself had all but gone now, so in a sense, it's funny to be told to tear them down again.

A fair amount of time and two packets of French fries later, I had told Eri everything.

"Kariya had a strong point to drive home," I said, "or… well, that's what I thought, anyway. So I'd been on the lookout for things to do to improve myself. I know it might sound stupid to you, but I don't really want to lose you to someone else just because I'm not as good as the rest of Shibuya's male population."

The whole time I was talking, Eri just listened and said not a single word. I have to admit I got scared at some point that she'd be bored of me, but such wasn't the case, thankfully. But now when it was her turn to talk, the first thing that came out of her mouth in a long while was…

"You really are an idiot, Neku."

"Ugh… I know…" So blunt!

"And I can think of at least two reasons."

"Two? Wh-Why two?"

"First reason!" In a dramatic fashion she whisked out her hand like a whip and speared my nose with her fingertip, pushing it upwards to fully expose the nostrils. Then, keeping it in place and ignoring my feeble protests, she spoke very seriously, "You say you've been trying hard to be a good boyfriend for me. I appreciate the effort, Neku, and for that I thank you. However, you got too adventurous for your own good and ended up shouldering too many responsibilities. You found it more and more difficult to cope with the workload, and as a result you forgot to take one thing into account. Or rather… one _person_."

"One… person?" No, wait… Could it be…? !

"Yes." A flash of sadness crossed her face. "You forgot about me."

In an instant I realized the stupidity of my actions. All this time I had been going on about constant self-improvement and ensuring my place by her side and keeping the competition at bay and all that nonsense. Although that's a reasonable path of logic to follow, there was one part where I went wrong: I spent too much time concentrating on my new schedule. Unable to handily deal with the commitments I had brought upon myself, she began to slip further and further from my mind until I had effectively neglected her. See how ironic that was? It wasn't even funny.

Bits and pieces from earlier conversations I had with various friends returned to haunt me and remind me of my failure.

"_If you do too many things in one go, it wouldn't really be a balanced lifestyle anymore."_

"_Your attitude is in the right direction, Phones, but you still shouldn't overdo it."_

"_I never once thought of you as a weakling, but I'm not sure that what you're doing now is really the right thing."_

"_If you can't love your girlfriend properly, everything you've worked so hard for will have no meaning."_

"_Neku, you can't go on like this. You'll only get worse, in more ways than one. There are some things you can't really neglect. I'm not just talking about your own health, either. There are… others."_

"So you see," said Eri, "the person you toiled for is the same person you pushed to the back of your head. That's why you forgot about our concert date. It's because you were too busy thinking of the next thing you could do to impress me."

Eri was all the things I wasn't. I guess a part of me wanted to be like her. I wanted to be her equal. Not… someone less. But in my quest for personal growth, I lost sight of the very person I was striving for.

Apologies tumbled out of my mouth in profuse streams. "Eri, I… I'm so sorry. You're right. I just never noticed until now. I was blind. Blind and… well, stupid."

"You've seen the light, finally."

"Will you forgive me?"

"Not yet." I expected her to say yes, so I was really taken aback. "I still haven't touched on the second reason. …You look like a pig, by the way. Pretty funny."

"I-It'd be nice if you could take your finger away now."

Eri ignored me and kept talking. Each word she spoke was heartfelt, rich with sincerity.

"Neku, I think you still can't grasp just how much I feel for you. I've been looking all my whole life for that one guy whom I can settle down and have a stable relationship with. In the past, I went out with lots of guys, hoping that one of them would turn out to be more than just charm and sparkles… wondering if this one guy would finally be Mr Right."

She finally let go of my nose and stood up to stretch her legs and pace about all slow and languid. And she continued, "But whenever I wanted to talk to them about heavy stuff like relationship commitments and all that, they'd just switch off and try to divert my attention to other things. 'Why worry so much?' they'd say. They couldn't understand me at all."

Now she twirled round to look my way. "You're different though. You're that perfect blend of fun and seriousness that I've been searching for. Some days you can be great to joke around with, but whenever I needed a long chat about life you'd always be there to lend an ear. …Hmmm. Did I say this before? Never mind.

"So you see!" Her finger snapped back to my nose again, just when I thought it could get some rest. "If there's one person I need, it's you. I've had enough of searching around for guys only to be disappointed. You think I'm going to go through all that trouble now that I've found someone compatible? Nah, I'll just stick with you and be happy. And if that's not a plan, I don't know what is."

You have no idea how relieved I was. My trust in her was strengthened and suddenly everything Kariya said about being competitive had no relevance anymore.

"G-Great to hear," I said quietly, "but your finger is still – "

"Sorry, I can't get enough of your piggy nose." How could she say that with a poker face? "Anyway, there's no need for you to suffer for the sake of your own betterment. Just pace yourself and you'll be fine, like me! Now, if you can tell me what your plans are from here on out, maybe I'll let go of your nose."

I didn't have much time to think it through, but I was quick to learn my lessons and already formulated more or less of an idea of what I should be doing in the very near future.

"I'll cut down on my workload," I began. "Definitely not going to juggle two jobs at the same time. For now, I'll just stick with the Sunday job at the bakery." In a self-deprecating tone, I half-joked, "Since I was fired from my last job, I already got that covered."

"Your boss sounds like a total scumbag, by the way," she spat, angry at my maltreatment. "I'm glad you got out of that circle of hell. It's not worth your time!"

"Yeah… A real jerk, that one. I don't think it's right to treat your employees the way he did."

"Forget about him. If you're up for it," she kindly offered, "I can recommend you for a position at _Tea & Orange_. It's a lot nicer over there and they pay better than the chicken feed your ex-boss called a salary. You do need to go for an interview and all but I can put in a few good words to tip the odds in your favour."

I couldn't really see myself in a tuxedo waiting on women and charming their heads off. "Um, I-I'm not cut out for butler work but I'll keep my options open… So, as for coursework, there's not much I can do on that end, but if I'm going to be in another group project, I'll make sure I'm paired up with actually competent people. It'd save me a lot of time and money."

"Money?"

"For buying aspirin."

"Ah."

"Lastly, I'm thinking of limiting gym activities to the weekends as opposed to every day. It'll be less tiring that way."

"Why don't you take up swimming instead?"

"How is swimming any better than the gym?" It was hard for me to make the comparison. "All you do is goof around in the water."

"Ha! That's where you're wrong. Swimming is actually really good exercise. It greatly improves stamina and cardiopulmonary performance, and because moving against the water resistance requires strength, it builds up muscle too. I swim at least twice a week, three times if I feel like it. That's how I keep my figure. You should give it a go."

"If it's so good as you put it, then I think I will. I'm a horrible swimmer, though. I wouldn't dare to go swimming by myself."

She chuckled. "Back in high school, you were just as famous at sinking like a rock as you were at baseball."

The repressed memories flooded back and I shuddered. "Can't remember how many times I had to be saved during PE lessons at the pool. The horror…"

"Don't you worry! I'll teach you properly!" She patted her chest with her free hand in a show of confidence. "Under my guidance, you'll be a pro. I've been skinny-dipping throughout my teens, so I'm a natural! You'll be one lucky guy to learn from m– "

What did she say? ! "S-Skinny-dipping? !"

"Oooh, yeah. Hee hee. Don't tell anyone, 'kay? It's a secret – hoi! Don't bleed all over my finger!"

She pulled it away in a hurry and immediately started wiping it clean with a napkin. My nose… free at last, and gushing like a faucet. But even when I was struggling to maintain control, I couldn't contain my own curiosity.

"Wh-Where'd you go for something like that anyway? Certainly not at the public pool? !"

"Eh? Back in my home town," she explained, "there's a forest with a small pond in it… No one goes round there, so I always went for a dip with my friends."

"Friends? ! What kind of friends did you have? !"

"Ha ha ha… Relax, Neku! They're just two or three of my gal pals and the rest of them are the neighbourhood kids. Did you seriously think I was going to invite guys to our little parties? The only boys with us were like, oh, three? What'd the young'uns know about puberty anyway?" Then she laughed some more, oblivious to my growing uneasiness. A girl, inviting her pals for a naked swim and letting kids tag along and do the same thing? ! I couldn't even start to imagine the very scenario without getting a headache. Or a nosebleed.

"Good God, what have you been corrupting the minds of today's children with?"

Still giggling, she waved it off and all talk about swimming in the buff was officially over. "Why don't we go to the pool on Sundays? Your bakery job wouldn't even last half the day, so that should leave plenty of time for us."

"Okay, that's a plan. That should work."

"It _will_ work. Cooking on Saturdays and swimming on Sundays? That's twice the fun on weekends! Don't you think it's cool to be each other's teachers?"

Eri was hyped up with our new weekend plans. Although I couldn't find the exact words to express my gratitude more precisely, I felt that for now, this one should do the trick.

"Thanks."

With a broad smile, she giggled, "Don't mention it. It's my way of repaying you for all the time you spent being my Sensei in the kitchen. I'm your pillar of support, and you mine. Rule #2, remember?"

I stood up and we were face-to-face. I grasped her by the shoulders gently and looked right into her eyes. "Eri, I'm sorry about tonight. I made a huge blunder and I want to make it up to you, but I just don't know how yet. So I guess it's your call."

"Really? I like it when I'm given such a large degree of freedom. Well then, I'll take you up on your offer and think up of something. Oh… it's already past midnight. Shall we head home?"

The hour hand of my watch was well on its way to one in the morning. I was getting sleepy too. It had been a crazy day with a test in the morning, work in the evening, and a chase after my loved one. I needed a break. Thank goodness I was able to patch things up with her. Here's my new rule of thumb: never take advice from someone who has never followed it!

Well, alright, for what it was worth, that advice still had some bite to it. But next time, I'll think through things a little more carefully. A single mistake early on could snowball into a complex situation down the road. That's a lesson well learnt.

Meanwhile, during the walk home, Eri filled me in with more stories of her teenage nudist days.

I pointed out, "You are your friends eventually stopped skinny-dipping at some point, right?"

She broke into a laugh – the kind you have when you remember a good joke. "If _that_ hadn't happened, our secret swimming club would still be alive to this very day."

"What's 'that'?"

"Just a wee incident we had… It was a normal afternoon and we were having a good time, but then ol' Kogoro had to come and spoil our fun."

"Who's Kogoro? !" I gulped. "That wouldn't be the nickname of some stalker, would it?"

"Nah. It's what we affectionately call the local brown bear."

A… A bear? ! Eri had a run-in with a _bear? !_ Well, I suppose you could expect to bump into some unsavory creature every time you venture into a forest!

But when she talked about it, she spoke with a faraway look in her eyes, like she was thinking back about an old chum. "He's usually nice and friendly," she sighed. "He leaves the townsfolk alone as long as we don't get too near to his family. As someone once learnt the hard way when he strayed too far into his cave."

"I… I'm not sure that constitutes 'nice' and 'friendly'…"

"Us lot of youngsters and Kogoro… We had this unspoken agreement where we'd take turns swimming in the forest pond. But I guess he absolutely wanted to use it that afternoon and we were in the way. We were so freaked out when he charged us that we just up and ran and almost forgot about our clothes. We never went back in there ever since, which was a pity… But on the plus side, we're all great swimmers!" She flashed a peace sign with her free hand.

"A-All's well that ends well, huh?"

"Yup! It's a bit unsafe to head back to the pond now with Kogoro guarding it so jealously, but… God as my witness, one day we'll return to being friends, him and us. And then I can take you there for a swim!"

I wasn't keen on playing with the risk of being some animal's dinner.

"Well?" she quipped energetically. "Sound good?"

"As much as I like the thought, Eri, I'll have to pass. Thanks."

…

…

**Author's note:**

**What Neku went through mirrors a similar experience I suffered during my college days. I was the leader of a group project, and one of the members didn't come at all on the very day we were going to do this presentation. I explained to the unimpressed lecturer about our situation and he grudgingly offered to set aside another day just for our presentation. None of us was happy and I really scolded the missing guy when he showed up long after the class was over. That was a terrible time. As far-fetched as it may sound, you better believe it!**

**I'm very fussy when it comes to editing my work. I take the time to go through the story a few times to make sure it reads right. For example, the scene where the sleepy Neku meets up with Eri at the bus-stop was originally supposed to go in a weirder direction: Eri offers to kiss him to wake him up, but he's so sleepy he ends up making out with the signpost by mistake. When I looked back at that scene, I was like, "The hell did I write? That's not gonna work." So I took it out. I'm glad I did.**

**I also took out this one part at the very end where Eri forces Neku to wear a series of speedos just so she could see him half-naked and stare at his butt. It didn't mesh well with the story, so out it went. In its place is the story about Kogoro the "friendly" brown bear.**

**Um, yeah, editing is very important.**

**Stand by for Chapter 34, everyone. It's on its way. Bye!**


	34. Swimming Lesson

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 34)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

This is a bit sudden, but my Christmas break had recently ended and the new year was already ushered in.

In light of the lessons I learnt from last year's blunders, I resolved not to work harder but smarter. There's a big difference, see. I also stopped going to the gym for now. Eri suggested that swimming was a better idea, and given its various health benefits, that may be true so I was all for it.

"Whoa, look at that babe!"

"Who is that girl? Check out those curves!"

"She's so hot. I bet she already has a boyfriend."

Ah, sorry. It seems my habit of leaving the details for later has created another dose of narrative inertia. But these first few minutes are so crucial in keeping you invested for the rest of the chapter.

At any rate, here's the lowdown on the story this time. It's a dreadfully cold winter afternoon outside but in here, at the local indoor pool, it's nice and warm enough that everyone's in their swimsuits. That's right, I was here to swim and Eri was going to be my instructor.

The majority of the pool's male population continued to gawk at her in wonder as she sashayed along looking absurdly good in a maroon bikini. I was a lucky man. I wanted to stare at her as hard as I could until I got a splitting headache. That's just how blessed I was.

Eri skipped over with a spring in her step. "Sorry to make you wait. I was adjusting my swimsuit."

"Whoa, Eri." Gosh… She's a work of art! "You look fantastic."

"I _always_ look fantastic," she proclaimed in a vain yet goodnatured manner, doing that little hand motion she was so fond of doing whenever she was in a playful mood. "Eri Tanikawa settles for nothing less. You should know that."

What was that strange murmur that suddenly came out of nowhere? It sounded like it was coming from… the guys? Curious, I strained my ears to try and make out what they were saying.

One of them grumbled in obvious disappointment, "She _does_ have a boyfriend! And it's this freaking stick figure!"

"The humanity!" cried another.

"Why do all the nice ones get taken – ow! I didn't mean what I said, honey… Sorry!"

Ha! How's that, fellas? One of Shibuya's most attractive women indeed has a boyfriend… and it's me! Take that, potential pursuers! You're not going anywhere with her. I was the only one she had eyes for!

"Neku?" she said, peering into my face. "Why are you chuckling to yourself? It's a bit scary."

"W-Was I actually laughing? Ah, sorry. I just had a stray thought of something funny I read recently."

She shrugged it off and joined me on the deck chair where I was sitting. There wasn't a lot of space to go round and we sat together along the longish side like a pair of sardines. She was gorgeous as usual… From the length of her willowy legs, to the smoothness of her midriff, to that flawless chest fitted so snugly in her top… From head to toe, she was truly worthy of more than just a second glance.

However, such beauty posed a slight problem. I get that bikinis were pretty much the usual attire at the pool, but if she was trying to teach me how to swim and every inch of her amazingly crafted body was right in my face, then how was I supposed to concentrate?

Suddenly, her velvety voice uttered my name. My heart bounced about all over the inside of my body. It hurt.

"Neku…"

"Whuh – um, y-y-yes?!"

My back stiffened when she ran a finger along my spine seductively. With her breath in my ear, she continued to slather every word with oodles of homebred sexiness.

"I'm so happy we get to spend time together like this. So let's make this swimming lesson a good one."

"Y-Yeah! Of… Of course!"

She tugged at one of the straps of her bikini top. Her chest… I could have sworn it jiggled slightly… very slightly. Just a tiny bounce. But I saw it. I definitely saw –

"I see you simply can't take your eyes off these puppies." Ack. I was caught ogling! Luckily she didn't mind at all. "Relax, I don't blame you. A man as healthy as yourself… It's only natural you'd get some urges around your… equally healthy girlfriend."

"Oh, um, s-sorry?"

This kind of talk was starting to sound an awful lot like we were going to swim around in bed rather than in the pool… I hoped she wasn't going to try anything funny on me… I might just lose it…

"At least I know I was right to get this hot number from 104. It was at a huge discount too."

"Uh, th-then, good for you, Eri. N-Nothing like a good buy, huh?"

"I knew you'd like it," she giggled. "No matter where you are, it's important to dress appropriately. So now tell me…"

"Eh?"

She suddenly became more vocal, destroying the sexy atmosphere entirely, "…why the heck are you dressed in that ridiculous outfit?!"

Whoa, wait, she's _annoyed_ now?! "My outfit? Wh-What's wrong with it exactly?"

"It's not sexy, that's what!"

Figured.

"Just look at yourself," she rambled. "Those long pants, that long-sleeved top… It's like one of those shark suit things! We're supposed to be swimming, Neku… not scuba diving! What age are we in, the Victorian era?! You wouldn't get arrested for flashing some skin! Where's the speedo I've been waiting for? Even a pair of ordinary swimming trunks would do!"

All I had for her was a jittery laugh and this explanation, "B-But… I haven't developed any real muscles yet. I'm not confident about how my body looks, so I'm too embarrassed to show it off."

"And _that's_ why you're covering yourself up? Phooey! We're at the pool, for goodness' sake! That kind of attire is so tacky. You look like a freakin' torpedo!"

"Eri, it's proper swimwear, made from space age materials, designed from the ground up for competitive swimming. Don't the world's swimming champions wear this?"

"They do, but that doesn't mean you have to! …Okay, fine. If you won't change, then be a man and take off that top at least!"

"N-No way!" Just because she was getting scary didn't mean I couldn't fight back! "Everyone will see my ribcage! You can freaking play the piano on my highly visible ribs! That's how thin I am! I'm keeping it on!"

"They're not _that_ visible. And when I say take it off, I mean it!"

"S-Stop pulling at my top, please!"

The two of us were now tangled in a tug-of-war where she was trying to strip me topless and I desperately clung onto both my clothes and my dignity. It was quite the battle with neither willing to give in. Unfortunately, our clashes didn't go unnoticed. We soon drew the interest of a trio of young men who approached us, or rather… her. The alarm bells went off in my head when I recognized the character archetype these guys fell into. I'd read enough manga to know the tell-tale signs that we were going to be up against some confident idiots who were trying to hit on her, and they couldn't be bothered that I was still here. It irked me even more that they looked better than me.

"Hey there," said the one with the tanned skin, "what's a babe like you doing in a place like this?" Nothing's worse than a hackneyed pickup line.

At this point, Eri noticed them, but didn't really care much for their existence despite them being right in front of us.

The second mook, sporting a seriously ripped torso, whistled, "Ooh, you sizzlin', girl. You hot, like _daaaayum_. How abou' you have fun with us, eh?"

"Come on, ditch the guy already." That was the third fellow. He had an intricate maze of tattoos where his left arm should be. "We're a lot more interesting to play around with than him. Come on!"

That was more than I could take. As calmly as I could, I tried to shoo them away. "Go away, will you? She didn't come here to waste time with you."

Three faces suddenly turned unfriendly and I did my best to brave their hostility. "Oi, you tryin' to act tough?" hissed Beefcake. "Go home, shrimp, play with your toys!" Then they laughed like a bunch of hyenas.

They had touched on the last raw nerve in my system and I was going to get right up and give them a piece of my mind, but I was surprised when Eri kept me grounded to the seat, preventing me from moving an inch. For a split second, she glanced my way, signaling me with a quick wink not to act rash and to leave it to her. So I did. I was worried, however. Should she prove unsuccessful in convincing them to leave, we'd be in big trouble.

"I'm sorry," she said with a forced smile. "But as you can see, I've already got a boyfriend." And she locked her arm firmly in the crook of mine.

Way to go, Eri. Wasn't that a bit weak, though? I hardly thought these guys would go away from just that.

True to form, they refused to back off. The tattooed guy cooed, "Aw, don't be like that, girl. We heard you talking. You like speedos, right? Well, then today's your lucky day since that's what we three kings are wearing!"

"That's right," said the musclehead. "We all cool, y'know? Not like Leotard Boy here."

"Like what you see, girl?" The first guy was leering pointedly at her cleavage and I wanted to gouge his eyes out. "We can show you more than – "

All of a sudden, the air took on a malicious quality. It was like a black hole, sucking in everything that was bright and happy and leaving an empty void in its wake. I swore the surroundings turned dark purple. Oh wait, it was emanating from Eri?! Uh-oh, I knew it. That's the infamous "scary mode" she had slipped into. When she speaks, not even the hardiest of war veterans could hold their bladders in. Her voice dropped several octaves until it sounded positively demonic, and her eyes glinted with such danger that the trio of idiots stopped yakking out of fear. The most disturbing part was that she was still _smiling_.

"Get your nuts out of my face, you disgusting apes," she threatened, "unless you want me to crush them into paste. Three seconds is all it'll take. One for each of you." She grabbed the nearest disposable cup and crumpled it in her free hand. It's just a fragile little thing, but I didn't know crinkling plastic could sound so painful. I sure didn't want to stick around myself to know what kind of noise you hear when you make _pate a groin_…

You could see the fright on their faces as they hesitated. Eventually they decided that hitting on her was not worth losing a very important body part and all three of them quickly left to seek out safer targets. I heaved a sigh, relieved they were gone. Eri calmed down but remained incensed at their behaviour.

"I really can't stand perverts like them," she growled. "They're the enemies of women everywhere!"

I was a little unsatisfied that I wasn't the one to give them the fright treatment. On the risk of sounding like a sexist, shouldn't the guy be stronger? You know, for the girl's sake? _I_ should teach them the lesson they so sorely needed, but instead it was Eri who did it and I had gladly left it to her. It shouldn't go like that.

But all's well that ends well. "You, um… did great, Eri. I've never seen anyone talk so… convincingly."

"It keeps the pesky ex-boyfriends away." The darkness had dissipated and the evil spirit that possessed her earlier was gone, thank goodness. She's most likable when she smiles. I'll agree to that any day.

"Um, you know, about that speedo thing…"

"Nah, never mind. Shark suits aren't so bad after all."

We swapped glances, and then, seeing the humour in the whole swimsuit issue, we tittered bit by bit until we were laughing.

"Okay!" She stood up with a great flourish and extended a hand towards me. "Shall we get this lesson started?"

I returned her smile wholly and took her hand, standing up myself. "Yeah. I'll be in your care."

"That's the spirit! Oh, hang on. Gotta fix this. One moment…"

Apparently her bikini bottom was getting loose, so she had to tighten it up. For her to do that though, she had to first undo the knot at the side. I felt my lungs seize up as I watched her at work. It's just a simple action, like doing up the buttons on a shirt. It shouldn't be a big deal. But when you're a guy and you bear witness to such a sight, there are certain… bodily processes you can't control.

"Neku? Why did you sit back down?"

"Ahaha… I, uh, also have something I need to fix."

XOXOXOXOXO

The first of what would be many swimming lessons officially began and Eri kicked things off with a quick briefing once warm-ups were over. Her casual, friendly nature made it easy to warm up to her as an instructor.

"So, Neku… you haven't swum once ever since we graduated from high school. I'm going to assume you're a total beginner."

"Yeah, I'm simply not good."

"Hee hee… You're in luck, then. You're a good Sensei to me, so I intend to repay you for your kindness."

Suddenly I was gripped by a wave of uncertainty. I glanced back at the pool, and all the bad memories I gathered from PE lessons at the school pool resurfaced – getting muscle cramps, nearly drowning, coming out of the pool only to realize too late that my trunks had slipped off somehow (and making the girls scream in horror in the process). Those were some good times… where good meant traumatic.

However, Eri did her best to put me at ease and I was thankful for that.

"Don't worry! It'll be alright. I've got your back covered, so you wouldn't die."

I laughed. "I kinda wish you didn't say that last part."

Eri went on to explain that the problem with most amateur swimming "instructors" is that they skip certain steps and teach wrongly in the process. To keep potential brushes with death at bay, we went over the most basic of basics, such as breathing exercises and swimming postures.

Initially I found it frightening. My previous bad experiences with water didn't give me a lot of confidence. I was very unsure of myself but Eri was always there to reassure me that I was fine. And for someone who didn't like to waste time, she was surprisingly patient today. Whenever I made a mistake, she'd point it out and show me how it was done, no matter how many times it took. That helped a lot.

We busied ourselves for the next half hour, slowly refining my technique. I made minor errors here and there, after which she'd invite me to watch her do it the correct way so I could copy her step by step. Although I was attentive for the most part, there were one or two times when my focus would drift away momentarily and my line of sight would tend to settle on the more… um, erotic parts of her anatomy.

Unfortunately, she did notice eventually this one instance where I stared for too long at her chest when I meant to sneak in a couple of seconds' worth of eye candy. I was punished with a light bop to the head.

"Neku, c'mon!" she groaned. "What's with you?"

"S-Sorry, I… I got distracted."

"Geez… pay attention! You'll have plenty of opportunities to stare later! I'll even get naked for you if that's – "

"Whoa, stop stop stop! Stop talking! I got it already! I got it!"

Oh man, she did not just say that out loud! The people around us heard her and looked at us with eyes yanked wide open. Did she forget that we were in a public place, or did she not care?

I thought that was the last heart attack I'd have, but then partway through the lesson…

"Okay, Neku, that wasn't bad at all. Now do ten reps of breathing exercises and we can take five."

"Right."

In our breathing exercises, I had to suck in air through the mouth above the surface, and then crouch to dunk my head beneath to blow it out through the nose. It's kind of like squats, but done in the water. So I was busy doing just that when suddenly – I think it was during the fourth rep – I heard her cry out.

Resurfacing, I snapped, "Eri, what's wrong?"

What's with that nervous giggle? That's the kind you hear when you've made a blunder. She nudged closer to whisper this shocking development in my ear:

"Um… my top came off."

As though guided by an unseen force, I immediately looked towards her bosom. It was true. The water was more or less at chest height where we were standing, and there wasn't much I could see of her above the surface, which was exactly our problem. She had nothing on her. The top was gone. I regressed into a spluttering fit.

"Wh-What?! Whoa, wait, how did –"

"I'm going to need it back," she squawked, "but it could have floated anywhere by now. Oh god, please hurry and help me find it before some kid snatches it up!"

"I-I'm on it!"

This was a race against time. Right away I discovered how difficult it was to maneuver around a crowded pool where people were moving about, let alone search for something as small as a bikini top. It was a slippery customer that refused to be found. I hoped to find it before it ended up in the hands of a child thinking it was a super-sized eyepatch.

Then, as I submerged taking a look around, I saw it! There it was, flapping about in the water like a strip of seaweed. I couldn't believe my luck. I rushed over, using my newly-learnt swimming techniques, and grabbed it. Safe! Things didn't usually go so well for me, and for the briefest moment, I thought I should brace myself for further surprises. But nothing happened and I waddled back to Eri with the good news.

"Found it," I called. "Got your – huh?"

What's this? Her top was back in place on her chest. She had also lost herself amid a peal of giggles.

"Eri? Um, what's going on?"

"Ha ha ha! Oh, I'm so sorry. I was in just the right mood for a little prank so I pretended to lose my top."

Hang on… Something didn't feel right. "You mean… you had it with you the whole time?"

"Sure!" She even tapped me on the head. "It's not too hard to conceal it. Simply undo the neck straps and – "

"Wait… If you never lost it, then what's this?"

I showed her the bikini top that I just salvaged, and she immediately stopped laughing in confusion. Upon closer examination, it had a different design than Eri's, and was also actually black in colour. In the water it looked maroon, and, well… for all the variations that two-piece swimsuits had, they looked alike to me…

"That's not mine," she said. "I don't have a bikini that looks like that."

Stupidly, I asked, "Then, wh-whose is this?"

I would get my answer in exactly two seconds. Someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind, and even when I didn't see who, it didn't even take chicken brains to guess that it was a woman and a highly embarrassed one at that.

What I didn't expect when I turned around was that I recognized her.

"Th-That's mine," she stammered with a red face. "Could… Could I have it back?"

I blurted out her name in surprise. "Sh-Shiki!"

Yup, it was her. It's mandatory to remove glasses and contact lenses when you go swimming, so this was one of those rare occasions where I could see her without her specs. Her myopia was a crippling handicap, however, so without them she was helpless. It got me wondering how she could recognize me in the first place.

I handed over the top immediately. "S-Sorry, my bad."

At the sight of her best gal pal, Eri greeted her with the gusto of a batch of fireworks, and for several moments after that I was effectively left out of the loop. There are some things we guys could never hope to fit into and girl talk was one of them. Not that we wanted to.

"Shiki! Wow, you're actually wearing a bikini? Finally saw the goodness in a bit of exposure, huh?"

As Shiki struggled to fix up her top, she snorted, "You going on about that again? I still stand by the elegance of one-piece swimsuits, I'll have you know!"

"A maillot does not a sexy woman make. If you really want to pack a punch at all, two-pieces are the way to go!"

"They're not my thing, Eri. Even now, I feel weird wearing this. I'm just not used to them. Plus, you need a good figure for it to work, and that's something I don't have."

"Oh, now that's just nonsense. You've got a pretty dangerous body, enough said." And then, very confidently, she added, "I've seen you naked before, so I can vouch for – "

"Eri!" screeched poor Shiki. "N-Neku is listening!"

There was a reddish cloud in the water where my nose was dripping in a steady torrent. That's what happens when girl talk gets out of hand.

"Uh… whoops."

XOXOXOXOXO

Our chance meeting with Shiki sparked forth a lively conversation between us three. It only just occurred to me that the last time I talked to her was when I told her I wanted to go out with Eri, thus indirectly turning her down as a potential girlfriend. I didn't end things off on an awkward note back then, thankfully, so her behaviour around me wasn't weird or stilted. It's nice to get back to being friends and talk like everything's normal.

Eri offered to buy takoyaki for all of us from the food stall nearby, so off she went. While waiting, Shiki and I took the opportunity to rest and share the latest updates in our lives with each other. We sat side by side, our feet dangling in the water. And we conversed freely, just the way it should be.

"No offence," she remarked, "but that outfit makes you look like a torpedo."

"Eri said the exact same thing! Do you girls all think alike? Anyway, I'm wearing this because I don't feel comfortable showing off my body."

"I know what you mean! I'm the same way. Wearing this, I feel… I dunno…" She motioned towards her swimsuit. "I wanted to go for something different so I decided to give this a try, but it took me at least forty minutes to even put it on right! Couldn't get the straps to cooperate with me, see? And yet my top still came off." With a pink tint on her cheeks, she quietly laughed at her own mistake.

"You claim to be uncomfortable with bikinis, but for what it's worth, you look good in it."

"Hee hee… Thanks, Neku. I know I look better than you at least, Torpedo Boy."

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, amused at her wit. "_Another_ nickname? Hmph, seriously? Can we talk instead about how you managed to find me without your glasses?"

"I'm not that hopeless," she huffed. And then, in a twist of hypocritical humour, she admitted, "It… It did help plenty to follow your voice, however."

"What, so you were relying on echolocation? You sure fit the idiom 'blind as a bat' to a tee, Shiki."

"Oh, you!"

Now that we were even with the jibes, we just laughed and called it a draw. Then it was on to a deeper topic.

"Say, Neku… How are you getting along with Eri?"

I could tell from the way she hesitated with her words that she was treading carefully. Our individual feelings had already been resolved, so there was no need to be so guarded, but I suppose it couldn't hurt to exercise tact.

"Whenever we get to talking," she continued with a giggle, "and you come up in our conversations, she'd become super-excited and boast about you by the bucketful. Thanks to her, I kind of understand what your relationship is like, ha ha ha… But I'm just asking because I wanted to hear your side of the story."

My nonchalant reply was, "Eh, same old, same old. Eri's still joking around, shopping for clothes, sleeping over at my house… causing me nosebleeds…"

Shiki snorted. "I can see her doing that to you _a lot_."

"But every day is fun, I'll give you that."

"Eri's totally given up on her old boy-crazy ways, hasn't she? She even serves up a mean stir-fry these days."

"Oh, she's good. Could use some polish to her cooking but she's doing well."

"Personally, I find it amazing that she's able to cook adequately now. Her tempura and beef cutlets are really good. You can tell it's still rough around the edges, but she's come a long way for someone who couldn't even boil an egg before… don't you think?"

"You bet she has."

Shiki chuckled. With fingers a-fiddling, she delivered her next few thoughts.

"Frankly, I'm envious."

"Envious? …Envious of what?"

"Of how you two can do everything together so freely and easily. Eri gets along well with both guys and girls alike, but with you she's at her most relaxed self and she can do absolutely anything without feeling awkward. I should know. She told me."

The pitter-patter of my heart went a little faster. "She… She said that, huh?"

"You two make a great team," she said approvingly. "I haven't seen any couples out there that share your synergy. It's a truly powerful relationship."

That's true. Eri and I worked together for our happiness, and our habit of creating win-win situations often yielded results that far exceeded our expectations. I guess this wasn't something she could enjoy with her previous boyfriends.

"Ahaha… We manage, somehow."

It's heartening that Shiki, who used to vie so fiercely for my heart, was now fully supportive of our relationship.

"Keep it up, Neku! You're doing great."

"Thanks. Now, enough about me. What's your story? What've you been doing these days? I mean, um… have you… uh…"

"Go on, you can say it. You wanted to know if I've got a new boyfriend, right?"

"Sorry, I… yeah. Just curious."

She pretended to be suspicious of me. "Why? Isn't Eri enough for you?"

"I… I swear I didn't mean it that way…" There were shades of Eri's playfulness in her behaviour, and it wasn't forced or anything. Being around her lovable sex maniac pal for so long must have rubbed off on her a little.

"Relax, can't you tell a joke when you see one? But anyway… I'm not looking for love at the moment."

"You're not?"

"Nah." She raised her arms out and above her head, stretching like a cat. "I just want to enjoy life for now, so I'm letting romance take a backseat. That said, if someone good comes my way, I might give him a shot. Shibuya may be a big city, but it's still a small place. There's no telling who you might end up with. In a way, it's kind of exciting."

"Yeah… I think so too."

After all, a little over half a year ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd hook up with Eri of all people. I'm just glad things turned out the way they did. She's happy, I'm happy.

Shiki excused herself to go to the bathroom. I didn't need to wait by myself long, as Eri returned soon with a big tray of takoyaki in hand.

"Let's wait for her to come back," she suggested. "Then, we can all dig in. This stuff is seriously hardcore, by the way! The taste is out of this world!"

"Alright, I'll take your word for – Eri, what's the matter?"

Her smile vanished and her face contorted with growing fury. Something was happening behind me and she didn't like it. When I looked, I saw why.

Shiki had scarcely walked five steps out of the women's bathroom when she was waylaid by some punks looking to have a good time with her. There were three of them and the distressed girl was surrounded with no hope of escape. I was already bristling with anger, but when I saw who they were, I became doubly angry.

"Those goons," I growled, as we both stood up. "They're the same ones who hit on you earlier!"

"Hmph. Neku, hold onto this. I'll be right back."

She plopped the tray of takoyaki into my hands and promptly sped off in the opposite direction. I could only react in confusion.

"Eri? Hey, where are you going? Eri?!"

But she was gone. What was she trying to do? Even if she had some kind of grand plan, however, I couldn't just stand around waiting for her. Shiki might be in shreds by the time we were ready to rock! Our friend needed help quickly!

"You pretty hot, girl," said the muscle-bound guy. "Whatchu think, guys?"

"Ooh, she's smokin'." The tattooed fellow edged closer, causing her to shrink away. Three pairs of eyes roving all over her body looked like more than enough torture for poor Shiki. I had to save her!

"L-Let me through," she squeaked. "My friends are waiting for me."

"Ha ha! Don't worry, we wouldn't take too long!"

"Hey!" I snapped. "Stop!"

The trio, not happy at being interrupted, were already scowling before they even faced me. I must have looked comical approaching them with a tray full of takoyaki, like I was some waiter at a pool party, but, well… Eri did ask me to hold onto it…

Shiki may be scared stiff, but not so stiff that she wouldn't utilize an opportunity to the fullest. While the trio was busy sizing me up, she found a gap between them and tried to weave through. Unfortunately, she didn't make it. As soon as she moved, the tanned guy noticed and stepped into her path, blocking her way and causing her to slam into him. He leered at her, as if to say, "Nice try, but you're not going anywhere." Dammit, she was still trapped!

All three of them trash-talked me one by one. The tattoo-armed youth went first. "Hey, look, it's the dude with a lame jumpsuit again."

"You already got a sweet piece of girl, man. Why you wanna mack on another chick?"

"Yeah! Leave some for us, will ya!"

A few pool-goers took notice, but not enough to deter these three. I had to step up my game and get tough.

"Let her go," I demanded. "She's my friend."

"Ooh! 'Let her go', he said! Ha ha…! Look, man. We're just gonna borrow her for a bit, is all! Nothin' wrong with that!"

"Lighten up!" scoffed another. "It's Sunday and everybody wants to have fun."

"Not with you she doesn't." I took a step closer and put on my darkest face. "Let. Her. Go!"

Tattoo Boy didn't take too kindly to my threats and stepped forth to oppose me one-on-one, while his fellow eunuchs continued to keep Shiki in place. She directed worried eyes at me and shook her head, giving me a silent message, "Don't do it, Neku! You'll get hurt!" But I had no intention of coming to blows with them. Why pick fights I couldn't win? I was going to settle this in a… well, relatively diplomatic manner. However, it didn't look like I was going to get out of this unscathed. If Tattoo Boy's wild animal grimaces were any indication, I'd be in for some pain. Or discomfort. Whichever was worse. Or even both.

"Think you're some kinda hotshot, huh?" he huffed. "News flash, pal: you're not. Now buzz off!"

"Not until you let go of her!" Defiant, I stood my ground, not moving an inch even as he drew closer.

"Ooh, so the little guy wants to be a hero. You know, you might've been a worth a laugh any other day, but we've heard enough outta you. Take a hike!"

Uh-oh. I think I might regret this.

With one swift motion, he grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me sideways. It happened too quickly for me to react. One moment I was staring him down, the next I had been swept off my feet and was sailing towards the deep end of the pool. Everything around me seemed to slow down, like I was the star in a slow-motion sequence in an action movie. The idiots were laughing, Shiki cried out my name… Their voices sounded warped and super-slow. The takoyaki flew in all directions. Eri just bought it, and I hated to see perfectly good food go to waste, but I had bigger things to worry about…

…like the fact that I didn't know how to float in water yet. I'm the rock that still sinks, remember?

I didn't want my life to end this way… If I had to go out – and I wasn't ready, just in case you're curious – I should at least be ten kinds of awesome doing it. Not like this.

Before Death could reap my soul, someone grabbed my arm and hauled me to safety. Astonishingly, the takoyaki ended up safe too, still intact on that tray, which was being held up in one hand by the mystery saviour.

I looked at the face of the person who saved me and almost recoiled in surprise.

Seishirou-sama?! Oh wait, that's Eri in disguise. Hang on, why was she in disguise? Clad in a slim hooded jacket and capris, bespectacled and with her hair done up in a ponytail, she looked absurdly handsome. She had become a completely different person altogether.

She condensed everything that was so cool about her alter ego into a single sentence.

"That behaviour was hardly appropriate, gentlemen."

Her Seishirou-sama persona was like a giant magnet for attention. The moment she made her grand entrance, every female in the vicinity took notice, and in two seconds flat about thirty girls gathered around her in a semi-circle, squealing like there was no tomorrow. In a sense, Eri was one of Shibuya's most sought-after people, whether as a girl or disguised man. It's strange of me to admit this, but she deserved credit for being able to appeal to both sexes.

"It's really Seishirou-sama!" screamed one of the fangirls. "In the flesh!"

"So this is how he looks in casual wear," gushed another. "Seishirou-sama, you're so cool!"

"Do you swim too? Come swim with us!"

Eri laughed, putting on the air of a dignified handsome boy, the kind you often see accompanied by a background full of flowers and sparkles in a romance manga.

"I'm thankful for your invitation, ladies," she said, "but I'm afraid that for now I must follow the path of justice laid before me by the forces of the universe. Let's just say… it's something a butler like myself must do."

Wh-What did she just say?

"Such deep, fascinating words!" giggled someone. "That's Seishirou-sama for you!" It was a unanimous agreement.

For real?! They just willingly lapped up whatever fantasy nonsense she came up with! What a bunch of dumb sheep!

Stunned by the entire commotion, the dumbfounded trio could only hesitate. Eri chided them in ridiculously posh Japanese, totally unlike her normal self.

"How dare you act so inhumanely towards this young man! I'll have you know he is a valued guest at my establishment! But more alarmingly, you are holding my precious customer hostage. Where is your integrity? Release her at once!"

Um, was it just me, or was Shiki blushing? She did know who Seishirou-sama was, right? She should be immune to his… uh, _her_ charms, shouldn't she?

Overwhelmed but not out, they held their ground, refusing to budge. "Scoot, man," said the musclebrain, "this is none a' yer business!"

"My customers' safety _is_ my business. No, rather… not just my customers, but _everyone_ whom I regard as a friend. And yes…" She turned back to the gaggle of girls behind her, flashing them a smile that overflowed with boyish charm. "…you're all my friends too. I wouldn't forget about you angels."

The girls had reached breaking point and could contain their excitement no longer. More crazed screaming ensued.

Eri, even if you're acting, it's a bit much…

"Quit getting on your high horse," snapped the tanned guy. "We don't give a crud who you are! If we're gonna have our way with this girl, then we will and we don't care – "

"Unforgivable," spat Eri. "Women are not playthings for you to rub your dirty hands all over! As men, it's our responsibility to uphold our morals and lead a selfless, hardworking life. It shames me to say you're not doing that!"

The girls in the crowd agreed openly. One or two began to jeer and scold, and soon the whole crowd was condemning the idiots' actions. It was a chain reaction that quickly affected everyone else in the pool. Suddenly they found themselves at a real disadvantage.

"Eew, are those molesters?!" cried out someone.

Another person, a guy, was heard saying, "I just hate these kinds of people. Makes me want to punch them in the face."

"Hey! Let her go!"

"If you insist on your perverted ways," warned Eri darkly, "I'll call the police. However, I'll give you one last chance. I suggest you think very carefully about what you want to do next."

"Dammit," gulped the tanned guy, barely audible above the booing, "dude's got himself a posse. We can't do nothin' now."

"Why is this Seishirou freak so scary?!" squawked Tattoo Boy. "He's like that pink-haired chick from earlier!" Well, yeah, that's because they're the same person…

"Maybe we should call it quits, man. This can't be worth it."

"Yeah…"

Much to Shiki's relief, they finally left her alone and slunk away without another word, dissolving out of sight. Satisfied that they were gone, Eri and I rushed over to her side, closely watched by the pool's entire patronage.

"Shiki!" I barked. "You alright? Those jerks didn't hurt you, did they?"

"I… uh… I seem to be in one piece, thanks. They didn't actually touch me at all." The poor girl was shaken, but it was good to see that she was fine.

With her "Seishirou mode" still active, Eri conversed with her like the oh-so-proper gentleman she was. Taken out of context, everything she said was harmless, but with that added layer of boyish charm, not even Shiki was safe.

"M'lady, you're not hurt anywhere, are you?" she said. "I can't bring myself to imagine what would happen if you were left to be manhandled by those lowlifes."

Shiki was steadily getting drawn in by Eri's manliness. Oh boy, she was beyond hope.

"Um, y-yeah," she stammered, "I'm alright, really. Th-Thanks for asking, though."

"Be mindful of your own safety, m'lady… That's all I ask. You can't undermine the importance of a little care and caution. Now, if I happen to be in the vicinity, you can rest a little easier but still, don't get too complacent."

"R-Right… Thanks."

Eri spoke to me now. "Your bravery earlier was most outstanding. Sticking up for your friend in times of need… Impressive. You deserve the highest of praise, Master Sakuraba."

It felt so weird being given the figurative thumbs-up by a girl who was dressed as a hot guy… and it was my girlfriend at that. No wonder Shiki's beginning to have doubts about her own sexuality. Heck, _I_ didn't know what to think anymore. I bet Eri was thinking that she'd take the opportunity to have some fun and screw with our minds. In that regard, she certainly succeeded.

"By the way, m'lady," she added, "that swimsuit looks fantastic on you. It's very… becoming."

True to Shiki's easily flustered nature, she was now spluttering and trying to return the compliment but ended up tongue-tied and waving her arms like a human hummingbird. This was the most incomprehensible farce I've ever been a part of.

The girls heard us and began going ga-ga again.

"Seishirou-sama just complimented her! How lucky!"

"I wish he could say I'm beautiful too! That'd make my day!"

"Only the most praiseworthy of us get a chance like that. That girl truly is a chosen one!"

Like I said, Eri, your acting is a bit much!

With a bow and a smile that could liquefy any fangirl's insides, she left to attend to the needs of the Dumb Sheep Club, answering their questions and giving out autographs. She's going to take a while by the looks of it.

And that's that. Thank goodness the crisis was resolved without a hitch. Heh… it may look dumb, but Eri's rescue plan was actually pretty smart. By swapping to her alter ego and using her fame to gather a large crowd of onlookers, she was able to force the perverts to leave. Thanks to this, she didn't even need to come to blows. Compared to her, all I did was rush them with a plate of takoyaki.

Meanwhile, Shiki was mumbling to herself.

"I'm not a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not – "

She was shaken loose from her train of thoughts when I patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't worry," I said. "If you're not one, then you aren't."

I couldn't be sure if she was really convinced, though…

Fifteen minutes later, Seishirou-sama vanished elsewhere, leaving the girls to gush over how lucky they were to be in the right place at the right time. When Eri returned, walking incognito through the very throng she had sweet-talked just moments before, she had a smug look on her face. Knowing her, she was probably laughing inwardly, drunk on that evil feeling of self-accomplishment. _They don't know I'm a girl too_, she must be thinking. _Bwahahaha!_

"Sorry I took long," she said innocently. "I suddenly had the urge to go to the bathroom."

Um, sure… she came from the wrong direction, though… I mean, the women's bathroom was behind us… Where did she go to change anyway?

"Um, did I miss something, guys?"

Shiki didn't know what to say. Eri thought her secret was safe from her. Keeping track of everyone's secrets… it's like an intricate spider web of lies; once you get stuck, it's hard to back out.

I spoke for everyone's sake. "Let's have that takoyaki now."

XOXOXOXOXO

So the three of us were sitting at a table munching on takoyaki and Eri continued to lie through her nose.

"Ooh, so that's what happened!" she said. "I wish I'd been there in time to stop them myself!"

"D-Don't worry about it," said Shiki with a nervous laugh. "Y-You – no, uh… Seishirou-sama, she… I mean, _he_ handled the situation deftly."

I could see the pride swelling inside our pink-haired friend as she continued to feign innocence. "Darn! Now I wish I was there to witness him in action! Defending the chastity of a helpless girl? Ah… just how much dreamier can he get? It goes without saying that he's _the_ ideal butler, the kind who goes out of his way for everyone's sake. Ohohoho!" Gah… what's with that proud-sounding laugh that didn't match with her words?! She's getting her thoughts all mixed up!

Shiki and I were straining under the clunky conversation topic… I needed to steer it in a less mentally straining direction. Honestly, I couldn't wrap my head around this stuff any longer.

I cleared my throat. "At any rate, Shiki, you're safe now. Just watch out for suspicious guys like them and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, I think I'll go back to one-piece swimsuits."

Eri was quick to oppose her decision. "I object! Whatever you wear to the pool isn't gonna change anything. You can't _help_ being sexy, right?! So man up and keep the bikini on!"

"Eri," I sighed, "you're not helping."

Shiki chose the safest reply to satisfy both of us. "I'll be okay, guys. Thanks."

It worried me that she had a meek character that would cause her to freeze up in the face of danger. I wasn't confident she'd be able to handle herself, but I had an idea to help her out. "If you want, you can come with me and Eri next time when we have our swimming lessons."

Both girls looked at me in surprise. "Huh?"

"It's much safer to do things in groups, right? We can look out for each other, and you're less likely to get harassed if you stick with us. They tend to target loners and stay away from girls who've brought along a bunch of friends. For the sake of your safety, it might be best that you accompany us when we go swimming on Sundays. It's better that way, I think."

Even as I was speaking, words of refusal were frothing in her throat and as soon as she found the chance, they tumbled out of her mouth.

"N-No, that's quite alright."

"Shiki?"

"I… I mean, yeah. It's okay, really. I don't want to be a bother to you. You guys have your swimming lessons and such, so I can't possibly take up your time. Besides, it's not like I want to swim every week, so… uh, thanks, Neku. But… I can take care of myself."

Why did she sound so uneasy?

Actually, Eri wasn't too thrilled with my suggestion either. Wasn't this the best way to go about it? Shiki would be safer if she was with us. What's wrong with it?

XOXOXOXOXO

When we were all done swimming Eri and I parted ways with Shiki. During the bus ride back to our neighbourhood, I had this one burning query.

"Do you carry that disguise with you at all times, Eri?"

"I do!" she quipped. "Anytime I need to get into my Seishirou-sama groove, I can do that easily. See, it came in handy just now, didn't it?"

"Done like a superhero with a secret identity… Do you have to pop into a phone booth every time you change?"

"That's a good one, ha ha ha! But there's only so much elbow space in a place like that."

"Or privacy."

"Ha ha! …Well, anyway, butler antics aside, there is one thing I'd like to talk about." The jokes were over and done with and now she wanted to talk serious. "I can't say I liked your plan. You know, when you said you wanted Shiki to tag along with us."

"But what seems to be the issue here?"

"I get that you're concerned about her safety, but you're saying she should accompany us both… It's an odd setup. She knows we're going out, Neku. If we really went ahead with your idea, wouldn't that make her a third wheel?"

Whoops… I didn't think about that.

"It's okay to care about your friends, Neku, and your heart may be in the right place, but sometimes you've got to give the lovebirds their space. No one likes being a third wheel. I know I'd make the same decision myself if I were in her shoes."

Eri's right. I haven't forgotten what it was like to tag along with a loving couple and be totally left out. That fateful day months ago when I found out the hard way that Shiki had a boyfriend whom she brought along, we were all on a shopping trip together and I couldn't fit in. Unable to bear the alienation, I went home prematurely.

Now I saw why Shiki did what she did.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I should have looked into it a little further. And… I'm also sorry I couldn't help much. You know, with the perverts."

"Huh… those guys?"

"When they hit on you and then Shiki, I failed to stop them. Had it not been for your quick thinking on both counts, I think the two of you would have been mincemeat by now. It's… It's frustrating for me, as a man. Protecting our friends… That's a responsibility of mine, right?"

"Sure, but you tried. That's good enough for us. Trust me, it really is. Most people wouldn't even bother because they're scared of being humiliated or beaten to a pulp. So what you did was really brave."

"Really?" I scratched the back of my neck, bashful but happy that I did indeed make a difference, even if it was a very slight one. "Eheh… If you put it that way, it makes me feel a bit better."

"Thanks, Neku." She affectionately rubbed her head against my shoulder. "You may not be the sharpest tack around, but you'll always be my hero."

The heat rushed up to my face but I was quick to play up to the warm atmosphere. Not many people were on the bus and they were all herded at the rear. No one was looking. My hand reached around to her opposite shoulder and pulled her closer. She snuggled so close there was not an inch of free space between us.

"You're my hero too, Eri. Always will be."

"Speaking of big darn heroes… what did you think of my performance as you-know-who?"

"As Seishirou-sama?"

"Shhh. Not so loud. You'll spill my secret. But yeah, how was I?" She was bubbling with eagerness to know what I had to say about her. Boy, was I going to lay the constructive criticism on her.

In typical deadpan style, I replied, "Everything was spot-on. You handled the execution well. But it's not cool to flirt with another girl, and in front of your boyfriend no less."

Soft girlish laughter filled my ears. "I wanted to mess around a little… Thought I'd have some fun while I was at it. It was hilarious watching Shiki go limp like that. Not to mention cute! That blush of hers was to die for especially!"

"You've got a weird sense of humour, Eri."

"What's the matter?" she sniggered. "Scared I'll run off with her?"

"Not particularly," I snorted. "Just… try and refrain from seducing her again."

"Ha ha ha!"

XOXOXOXOXO

My hair was in an agonizing state. I tweezed some of my locks between my fingers and they felt like wire.

"Must be the chlorine in the pool," I muttered to myself.

Ah well, hair problems aside, today's a good day! I had loads of fun at the pool. Eri was a superb instructor and I learnt plenty. Did I mention she was a total firecracker in that bikini? Huh? Oh, I did?

I already couldn't wait for next Sunday to roll around.

Now I had an idea of what Eri felt about our Saturday cooking lessons. Having cooked all my life, I had become somewhat desensitized to working in the kitchen, but looking from her viewpoint, these lessons must be a grand adventure where she was continually learning new and exciting things. I guess our positions were reversed for our swimming lessons in more ways than I thought. I resolved to put in even more effort into our weekends, as both teacher and student.

Just then my phone rang and the caller was Shiki. Now that's rare… I almost took too long to take the call. Couldn't help hesitating, you see.

"Hello?"

"Hi Neku," she chirped. "Got a sec?"

"Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"I just… um, wanted to thank you for earlier. When those guys cornered me, you tried to get me out of that jam."

A mild smile grew as I recalled what Eri told me on the bus: that even though I wasn't successful in stopping those perverts, I tried my best at least. "Don't thank me… It's Eri who was your knight in shining armour."

With a cheery tone, she said, "I know, but… I'm still happy you tried. If it weren't for you, they might have done worse things to me back then. N-Not that they actually did, by the way! They didn't even get to lay a hand on me. And… well, I'm sorry… You got dragged into it because of me."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're okay. In the end, they didn't do anything to you so that's great."

"Yeah… So, how did you find your swimming lesson?"

"Oh, it was awesome! I think I know how to swim a little better now. Maybe next week if time permits Eri will teach me how to float. I still can't get the hang of it."

"You and her sure are going all out teaching each other how to cook and swim respectively. Must be fun, huh?"

"Darn right it's fun!"

Was this envy I sensed that was so thick in her voice? It might have been a figment of my imagination, but I thought I heard her mumbling to herself over the phone.

"Eri… You're so lucky…"

Shiki and her ex-boyfriend probably didn't enjoy the kind of interactions I had with Eri. Sure, they had their share of fun for a while, but it ultimately didn't work out. People don't normally get the whole dating thing right the first time around. It can take as many as several attempts at love for soul mates to finally come by.

I really hoped Shiki would find herself a good man, but for now, I did the smart thing and pretended not to hear her.

XOXOXOXOXO

One night a couple of days later, Eri paid me a visit with the intention of – you guessed it – staying over once again. She usually came over empty-handed, that is to say she never brought along a change of clothes for use after the obligatory shower, because frankly, she didn't feel like wearing much of anything much of the time. So when she showed up toting a small luggage bag, I immediately noticed.

"Toiletries," she explained. Then, learning into my ear as she helped herself in, she snarled sexily, "And a surprise."

My gut twisted like a pretzel. What kind of surprise did she have in store for me? If she's anything to go by then it'd be a good one. Damn, I really wanted to know… But she kept me at the edge of my seat, refusing to let me in on even the tiniest hint.

She eventually relented, though. After seeing how terrible I was at containing my curiosity, I guess she took pity on me and decided to put me out of my misery. But first she told me to relax on the bed and – wait, relax on the bed?! Hey, I never said I was ready for this. Of course, there's no telling what she was going to do but if my suspicions were correct, wasn't it all a bit too soon?

"Don't worry about a thing, Neku. No peeking, 'kay?"

With eyes squeezed shut, I tried in vain to pry more information out of her. "What are you trying to do?"

Oh god, that giggle reeked of naughtiness. "I'm going to change into something a little more comfortable."

There's only one thing a girl would change into if she wanted to get any more cozy… Time for the ol' birthday suit shtick, huh? Whoa, was that the sound of clothes being stripped off? This was getting serious! Wait… This was – oh snap, she's straddling me now, sitting on my lap. She really was in a mighty fine mood tonight, wasn't she?! What brought this on? Was it mating season?! Hang on, humans are in heat all year round!

As hundreds of thoughts riddled my head, she spoke to me again.

"You kept your eyes closed the whole time, Neku. Well done! You can open them again now."

"I… I can?"

"Wow, what's with the eagerness? Ha ha ha! And yes, you may."

I didn't know why she wanted to go striptease on me, but heck if I cared. Strange as it may seem, it's one way to flirt and bond. Whatever works, right? Ah well, no time like the present. Ready or not, here I co–

Wh-What's the meaning of this? I blinked a few times to make sure my eyesight was in proper working order. Against all of my expectations, she wasn't stark naked. In fact, she was covered from head to toe in PVC. It was form-fitting and hugged her curves very nicely, but, having expected to see acres of skin, I was left high and dry.

"Ta-da! What do you think of my new shark suit, Neku?! Pretty hot, huh?"

"Firstly," I said wryly, "I don't think it's called a shark suit… Secondly, why are you wearing one?"

To that she retorted, "Firstly, I'm still going to call them 'shark suits' because it sounds cool like that. And secondly, after much thought, I've come to the conclusion that they actually boast several advantages over standard issue swimwear like bikinis."

"That's news to me coming from someone who used to hate them like the plague."

"Yeah, but then I came to realize that if you wear this, guys will want to hit on you less! This isn't very exciting to them, you know?"

"Uh… makes sense." But the same concept applied to me too…

"And you don't need to worry about it becoming loose and slipping off by itself. That's a fashion faux pas I can easily avoid now!"

But… But I was kinda looking forward to seeing that happen?

"And lastly, if you pick a really good one that fits like a second skin, it's almost like you're not wearing anything. It feels great!" This I didn't expect to hear. What was I supposed to say? "And because you're not actually naked, you can romp around the place as though you are, without fear of getting arrested! Isn't that awesome?!"

"I'm afraid I can't connect… Not everyone's a full-time nudist, Eri."

"I think I'll wear this during our next lesson. It's always good to try new things, right? As I'm going to become a fashion designer, that's practically my mantra."

Huh?! Wait… But then –

"And you can't deny the safety benefits, Neku. I've been in the same boat as Shiki before. I don't really want to lose my top and have to look for it in a crowded place ever again!"

Sometimes I let Eri do as she pleased, but this time, I felt that I should exercise assertion and speak my mind.

"Eri," I began sincerely, "I think I'd rather see you in the usual bikini getup."

Curious eyes looked my way. "Eh? I thought you like shark suits?"

"That's not it. You look really amazing in one, that much is true, but…" – _c'mon, man, you're not a lech. Never mind that your cheeks are boiling. Tell the truth, go for it!_ – "…I like to see you in bikinis. Because you… you look hot. And… stuff."

Eri just blinked, flabbergasted at my honesty. She didn't think I'd say something that might be seen in a lewd light.

I stammered, "Um, th-that's all!"

"My, that's frank of you," she said with a grin. "What you said might make you sound like a dirty old man, but never worry! As long as your interests are within acceptable limits, there's nothing wrong with having a few sexual obsessions here and there!" And she gave me a thumbs-up, happy that I was now officially a fellow pervert in her book.

That didn't mean I was particularly delighted to hear that! "H-Hey, don't pile me in the same lot as you!"

"Ha ha ha! I love that hot-cold personality of yours."

"Who you calling a _tsundere?!_"

She goodnaturedly placed a finger on my lips to put an end to my tirade.

"Neku, promise me you'll become a good swimmer."

"Huh? Uh-huh, sure… I intend to. 'Cause I'm sick of drowning."

"Now _that's_ a good reason. But what I'm really trying to say is… when you can swim well enough, let's go to the beach!"

"The beach?"

"Yeah! There's a lot more room to run around than in a stuffy indoor pool and you get to soak up the sun… You get lots of Vitamin D that way – bonus! But seriously, it's tons of fun. What do you say? Can't say no, can you? Hee hee… It's practically blasphemy to say no to the beach!" She wagged a finger in front of my face cheekily, trying to nudge me into saying the answer she was hoping to hear. But before that, there was one thing I absolutely had to confirm.

"Just the two of us?"

With a wink, she replied, "Of course! Our buddies are strictly off-limits during our 'us time'!"

My head was in danger of exploding from the myriad possibilities we could explore during a trip to the beach. Hmmm… So many things we could do… Where should we start…

"_Neku, give me a hand here."_

_Eri lay face down on the towel and loosened her bikini top, beckoning me with her luscious back._

"_I need some UV protection. Lather me up good, yeah?"_

_The simple action of applying suntan lotion onto her back suddenly became even more of an erotic affair when she purposely uttered these noises that sounded suspiciously like… something else._

"_Aah! Th-That's the stuff…" Her voice wavered uncontrollably and she sucked in air through her teeth in an apparent loss of restraint. "Yes…! A little more… Lower… Lower… Ahh yesss… mmmmh! That's a good spot… Use those fingers… Oh gracious jalapenos, Neku, you're the best! Ohhh…!"_

Suddenly, her eyes widened and her body stiffened visibly. And she had a rather loud gasp to go with it too.

"Um, Neku?"

She was like a statue, unmoving as she sat on me. Did something happen?

"Eri? Wh-What's wrong? You look like I pressed your pause button."

"Do you want to go stargazing?"

"Whuh – stargazing? I don't under– "

She paused to look away. "…You got an extended telescope."

…She's right. And what's more… she's sitting right on top of it.

As if the situation couldn't get any more embarrassing, she had this to say, "Y-You've done nothing wrong, Neku. I've seen it before lots of times when we bathe, so it's not, like, weird or anything!"

Guh… That's the one thing I'd rather not hear right now!

"Oh, and," she continued, "since I've by now even memorized the size, colour and shape, it's not like it's a huge shock to me 'cause it's nothing new!"

"H-How is that supposed to make me feel better?!" Now that's _two_ things!

"And just so we're clear…" She's still talking?! "…we haven't broken Rule #3 yet, so we are definitely safe!" The thumbs-up she gave me didn't fit into the context of the conversation well. It was almost comical.

And all this time, she never left my lap.

Talk about super-awkward!

I cleared my throat. "O-Okay, let's get back on track. So, uh, I'd love to go to the beach with you, Eri. But for that to happen, I'll need to count on you a little longer. Until I become a competent swimmer, will you continue to teach me?"

She smiled warmly.

"Is that a promise? That you'll come to the beach with me?"

"Yeah. I promise."

Her smile grew wider. "Sweet! When we get to the beach, you're gonna wear a thong, alright? I'll be waiting to see your fine, fine tush in action."

"…Now _that_, I can't promise."

She really was a bona fide pervert.

…

…

**Author's note:**

**Here's your breather chapter full of fanservice, fellas! After the heavy stuff in Chapters 32 and 33, this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Now go get yourself some nosebleeds. Hmmm, what to say. Not much to note on my end. All I can say is that Chapter 35 is work in progress, and I'm currently doing a little bit of Chapter 36 as well. Please be patient and watch out for Chapter 35! See you soon!**


	35. The Folks

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 35)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

The alarm clock jarred me out of my sleep.

6 am. Saturday… March 21.

I fixed my gaze on the calendar, lingering on today's date. A great circle was drawn around the number in bright red highlighter. This was an important day.

Yup. I knew what I had to do.

Breakfast was spent by myself solemnly as I pondered the meaning of this day. You'd be forgiven for thinking this was about Eri. I guess with everything that's been happening as of late, that would be the first thing that comes to mind, but no… this was something that went way back, long before I'd even met her.

Before I set off to meet up with her, I spent a few minutes checking that everything was in order. Then I picked up the picture frame perched on the dressing table and looked wistfully at the two smiling people in the photo.

"Alright," I said aloud, "I'm heading out now, Mum and Dad."

XOXOXOXOXO

While waiting at the bus stop, Eri and I geared ourselves for the cooking lesson afterwards by chatting about ways we could use to make our recipes more interesting. As a non-conformist, she had a lot of bizarre ideas to offer and not all of them worked, but those that did were worth a shot. That said, she did come up with some that were really stupid. There's no such thing as bad creativity, but…

"So I was thinking," she said, "that we should totally do a chocolate-themed stir-fry. Prawns and scallop braised with a milky white chocolate sauce! How's that sound?"

I laughed, making a face. "For real? You know that'd never work in a million years."

"Then we could skip the chocolate gravy and go for a spicy chocolate dipping sauce!"

"'Spicy' and 'chocolate' don't go hand in hand, Eri."

"Don't hang up yet! I've… I've got it! What about spring rolls, except we'll substitute everything with chocolate. That way, it'll be a choc-pocalypse."

"That's no different from dessert. Crepes, specifically."

"Aww, so none of my suggestions even make it past the drawing board?" She was reduced to a mess of chuckles.

"You just want to eat chocolate. Fine then, I'll treat you to choco bananas later. But only after our lesson!"

With a playful energetic salute, she said, "Sir yes sir! Eri Tanikawa is very happy and sends her thanks!"

"You're doing a good job brightening up the neighbourhood, Eri. Keep it up."

"Eheh."

Our Saturday morning routine went like clockwork, and we had a plate of spicy fried tofu to show for our efforts. As promised, I took Eri to the nearest confectionery stall for dessert, and chocolate bananas it was. She was ecstatic.

The park nearby was a quiet spot which made it the perfect place to sit down and eat. Another reason I was grateful for the quietness was… um…

"Eri, c-calm down. No one's hurrying you."

"I can't… fit it all in…"

As the banana slipped into her mouth, she made moaning noises in delight. I almost forgot to eat as I watched her in action.

"Scrumptious," she gushed, wiping a sliver of saliva from her lips. "An absolute treat."

"Uh… yeah… G-Great stuff."

Without thinking, I took a bite off of my banana and she immediately reacted in horror.

"No, Neku!" she gasped. "Don't do that! That's not the way to eat a chocolate banana!"

"Th-Then how?"

"These things are meant to be enjoyed thoroughly! That's why you must lick off the chocolate before you go for the rest! Now watch how a pro does it."

In went the banana once more, and once her lips were clamped around it in an airtight seal, she proceeded to suck the chocolate off, moaning even louder this time. Even more alarmingly, she was starting to squirm from what I imagine must be the irresistible goodness of chocolate. I did say it was a good thing no one was around.

Her banana emerged with half of its chocolate coating vacuumed up into oblivion. She had quite literally fallen to pieces, so infatuated was she with the taste.

"Ahhh, now this is more like it!" she said. "Nothing like a nice, long, thick, _delicious_…" – she paused for a deep breath of satisfaction – "…chocolate banana. Now! You try it, Neku."

"I-I'll eat it the way a normal person would, thank you very much."

"This _is_ normal! You're just the one who wouldn't go with the flow. You're going to miss out on a world of good like this. So sad."

Some idle banter about life and fun stuff followed before she decided to swing things into a more somber direction.

Out of the blue she asked me, "Hey, Neku, do you love me?"

Her question was abrupt. I didn't think she'd ask me that.

"Where did that come from?" I asked.

"Just answer me." Her eyes were slightly dulled form melancholy. Then, when she apparently realized how sudden she must have sounded, she gave me an explanation. "The truth is… I've been feeling a bit insecure these days."

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

She nibbled her banana bit by bit, giving herself time to think. "Apparently some of the people who know we're going out have been saying that we don't match."

"They… They said that?"

Eri sighed. She felt deflated about the inability of her peers to accept her and myself as lovers. Were we so different that it was worth having tongues going round wagging?

"I shouldn't care about what others think. You've told me before a million times by now, I'm aware of that. It's just… while I normally wouldn't agonize over such small matters, so many people have been telling me that we're totally incompatible with each other. I don't want to doubt myself, but…"

"Eri…"

She squeezed my arm, in need of reassurance. "We're okay, right? As a couple, I mean. We can make this work… right?"

I circled my free arm around her shoulder and squeezed her closer to me, making sure I said the right stuff. "I love you, Eri. And I want the best for you, so you can be damn well sure I'm gonna make this relationship work." Then, self-deprecatingly I added, "Sorry if that sounded less than stellar. I'm no motivational speaker."

"You're right," she giggled. "You really aren't the best with words."

"I… I did say I was sorry."

"But thanks, Neku. Now I know that even when I'm at my craziest, you'll still love me."

"Your craziness is a part of what makes you so refreshing. No one in their right mind would do the things you do."

Amused, she looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Are you seriously saying that as a compliment?"

"Definitely."

"Ha ha ha! I'll give you points for being funny, Neku. And that's that!" And she finished off her banana with a quick chomp. "It's settled!"

I was about done with snack time myself so I gave her some final words for dessert.

"Eri, promise me you'll keep your self-esteem up in the clouds where it belongs. You know you and I are going to keep being fantastic together, so forget about all the crud everyone says about us."

"If that's all you need me to do, it's a done deal!"

"That's a girl."

Hmmm… She's in a swell mood. Perhaps now's the best time to ask her about it… I didn't know if this was going to turn out awkward or anything but I had to try. Chances like these came but once a year. Why once a year? You'll find out soon.

"Eri, I have a favour to ask of you."

"Mmm? Sure, what's it gonna be?"

"The truth is, today's a very important day for me, and I'd like you to be a part of it. And I know we just settled the matter of your not being sure if we deserve to be a couple and all, but… I figured I'd take this opportunity to prove to you once and for all that you're alright in my book."

She scratched the nape of her neck. "Uh… okay? I don't get it though."

"Never mind," I said kindly, getting up. "Come with me, Eri. Then you'll know what I mean."

"Where are we going?"

I paused two seconds. "…A special place."

XOXOXOXOXO

"Neku, I know you're fond of keeping people guessing till the last moment – a lot of good movies use this tactic – but don't you think leaving me in the dark for the entirety of that 30-minute bus ride was going a bit overboard?"

I laughed as we alighted. "Sorry, I always loved myself a good surprise. Just a little longer now!"

Eri continued to froth in impatience. I promised to solve this grand mystery for her soon, but for now there was another place I was headed. The florist's was just a minute's walk from the bus-stop, and it was there that I bought a small bouquet of chrysanthemums. Her curiosity grew even more, but I declined to lavish on details. Even as we continued down the road on foot, she never did let up with the questions.

"I'm about ready to explode!" she huffed. "Wouldn't you at least give me a hint?"

"…Doesn't look like I need to. We're here."

When she saw where we were, she sobered up completely.

"Neku, this is… the local cemetery?"

From the entrance we could see rows upon rows of Japanese tombstones as tall as a grown man. The smell of incense was wafting in the breeze, strong and pungent. Several people had come to mourn, bringing flowers for the dearly departed.

"Hey Neku," she said quietly, "those flowers you just bought… Are they for…"

I gave a small, slow nod. "Today… is the anniversary of my parents' passing."

Eri knew I was an orphan, but didn't know how I became one. As we strode inside I elaborated on the tale of my late parents.

"I had just turned two when they died," I said. "The night of that fateful day, there was a function they had to attend, so they placed me in the care of my aunt and uncle. But on the way back home, they got into a car accident. They were rushed to the hospital, but they didn't make it."

"That's terrible," she said sadly. "I'm sorry, Neku."

"Nah, don't worry about me, I'm fine. I was really young when they passed on, so I don't remember anything about them when they were still alive. When I was old enough for my aunt and uncle to tell me the truth, I couldn't even feel sad, cruel as that may sound. It's like… I grew up not knowing they even existed at all. Uh… no, that sounds wrong no matter how you slice it…"

"You did say you were a little tyke at the time. I can kind of understand where you're coming from."

"However, my uncle told me that even though I may not remember anything about them, I should never forget that they were once a part of my life. He said they're the ones who brought me into this world, so I should always be thankful. That's why, every year, I come here to pay my respects."

"I think what you're doing is great," she said, before chiding me mildly. "You should have told me earlier though. I'd be more than happy to tag along. Are you so scared that I would retch at the thought of visiting a cemetery?"

"Ahahaha… Just a tiny bit. See, whenever I come here I'd update my parents on what's new in my life, and this time I was hoping to introduce you to them, but I couldn't be sure if you'd be okay with it, or think it's creepy, or – "

"And that's why you've been trying to keep it all a 'surprise'?" A slightly wry smile spread across her face. "Neku, you have a weird way of doing things."

"S-Sorry."

"Hee hee… Now, aren't you gonna do some introductions?"

Once I had laid down the flowers at the foot of my parents' grave and lit some incense, the two of us offered a minute-long silent prayer. Then it was time for me to talk.

"Mum, Dad," I said softly, "it's me, your son Neku. …How are you? I hope you're doing okay. I'm doing good myself so don't worry too much."

I half-expected Eri to pipe up in the middle of my speech with an inappropriate comment, but she didn't interject even once. No giggling, no joking around. I thought she'd make fun of me for talking at length to seemingly no one, but she didn't. Then again, I guess nobody would… With this tidbit of knowledge in mind, I slowly began to relax and carried on talking with impunity.

"So, uh, I'm in my first year at college now, taking up graphics design. There have been ups and downs for me, but it's been a fun six months so far."

The one piece of news I was more eager to convey than anything else, however, was this:

"Oh, right! I've got a girlfriend now! I'm sure it must come as a surprise to you, but we hit it off pretty well from the start and… well, we're together now." I snuck a quick look at her. She was smiling. "I brought her along too, thought you might want to at least know what she looks like. And… uh…"

What should I say next? It suddenly occurred to me that I've never officially introduced my girlfriend to anyone. My friends just kinda found out eventually via word of mouth. I never actually went out of my way to tell them the good news. So my tongue was tied.

Fortunately, Eri was there to pick up where I left off. She tugged at my sleeve lightly and whispered, "Shall I take over from here?"

"Uh… hmmm, you know what? That's not a bad idea at all. Sure, go ahead."

Eri was more eloquent than I was and had little trouble talking, although it was evident she was a bit shy. Perhaps this was the first time she'd met the parents of a boyfriend and she wanted to make a good impression.

"Hi, um… Mr and Mrs Sakuraba. My name is Eri Tanikawa… I'm from Fukushima, but I stay in Shibuya. I'm Neku's girlfriend."

She hid her hands behind her back but I could see her fingers fiddling with one another.

"Neku and I started dating about three months ago, but we'd known each other for much longer. He's kind and genuinely cares about me, even teaches me how to cook. But best of all, he loves me for who I am… not for my appearance, or wealth, or social status. Really, I could go on and on about why he's so cool, but I just want to say I'm super-glad to be the girl by his side right now. Thank you for bringing him into my life. Please continue to watch over us!"

Hey now, that wasn't bad at all. We bowed one more time. Then she beamed at me, saying, "How did I do?"

"Splendidly. Couldn't have said it better myself."

"Heh… I spoke from the heart, Neku. That's all I did."

I clutched her hands gently. "Do you see where I'm going with this now, Eri? If I wasn't serious about you, I wouldn't bother bringing you here in the first place to tell my folks about you. I don't claim to know what my parents think, but if they're the nice kind souls my aunt and uncle have been telling me about all my life, then I'm sure they'll give you their blessings. So if anyone says we don't match, just ignore them. You know better."

Eri grew a smile on her lips, my reward for being a good boyfriend. She clung onto me gently; I could feel her heartbeat on my chest. I panicked for a second, scared that we might get reprimanded for engaging in a little romantic closeness in public. However, seeing that the few people around weren't looking our way, I slowly relaxed and eased myself into the warm atmosphere.

Her breath tickled my ear lobe as she whispered in my ear. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

"You're a strong girl," I said, hugging her back. "Don't get so easily swayed by others. What matters most is your own happiness."

"_Our_ happiness," she corrected cheerily.

"Heh. True that."

We finished up with our prayers and said goodbye to my parents. Then I nudged Eri, hurrying her to take our leave. There was a reason I didn't want us to stick around for too long…

"What's the rush?" she asked, puzzled. "Is there someplace you need to be? Some TV show you need to catch?"

"Ah, um… n-not exactly. It's just…"

Just then, someone called out to me from behind.

"Neku, there you are! It's been a long time. Really… Is it so hard to come back home once in a while?"

The sound of a familiar voice pierced my eardrums. Gah… I was too slow! And now I'd have to pay for it. I swiveled round slowly, hoping against hope it wasn't _them_. It was.

"Oh hey," I gulped, "Auntie, Uncle."

That's my aunt and uncle. They had also come to pay their respects so it's only natural I'd bump into them. They took it upon themselves to bring me up when my parents died, and while they were generally great at filling in the role of foster parents, they had some personality quirks that would embarrass me to no end whenever we were in public.

"Your aunt is right," said Uncle in his signature raspy voice. He was about to go on about the values of family relations and togetherness when they became aware of Eri's presence. With clothes as loud and eye-catching as hers, it's only a matter of time before someone noticed. That's when he dropped the lecture and eyed her curiously. "Friend of yours, Neku?"

"Y-Yeah. This is my… uh, girl. Friend."

They didn't know much about Eri. I haven't filled them in with any substantial details yet, and they practically craved it. All they knew was that I had been getting "real close" to a girl as of late but that was it. So now that Eri had met the parents… uh, foster parents, and vice versa, the questions would be sure to follow. They could be so nosy… What if she was put off? Things would be quite bad…

My aunt was quick to put two and two together and figure out the story. Beaming from ear to ear, she was more jumpy with excitement than a bunny on steroids. "So you're Neku's girlfriend? Splendid! I've long been waiting for this day to come! What's your name?"

Eri wasn't the least perturbed by their enthusiasm and answered with grace. "I'm Eri Tanikawa. Nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs – "

Much to the surprise of both of us, my aunt waved off the formalities. "Call us Auntie and Uncle. That'll do."

"A-Are you sure? We only just met…"

"I've been around for a long time and I know a good girl when I see one. We are going to get along just fine, I can be sure of that!"

Auntie must be too happy to think clearly. The lifelong desire to see her adopted son in a relationship must have overridden all form of common sense. My uncle was no better. He looked like he was ready to leap into space. So there's one personality quirk of theirs for you: while my foster parents were generally of sound mind, there's nothing in the world that gets them quite so madly excited as entertaining the thought that I might have a girlfriend of my own. So you could imagine just how far over the edge they had been driven now that the news was out that I was going out with Eri for real. They could think of nothing else but welcoming her into the Sakuraba household already.

Curious to a fault, they took turns bombarding her with questions but left her with no chance to reply in full.

"How did you two meet?" asked Uncle.

"Well, Neku and I used to – "

Auntie sprang forth with a burning query, "How long have you been dating?"

"It's… It's been about – "

"What are you long-term commitments for your relationship? Plans for the future?"

"Um… uh…"

Before things could get to a head, I stepped in and chided them, saying, "Hey, at least let her talk, will you? Also, aren't you guys here for a reason?"

"Ah, of course." They simply laughed it off. "We'll get back to you in a minute, Eri."

I stood alongside her as my aunt and uncle prayed in front of the grave. This was my opportunity to fill her in on their strangeness and we were whispering to each other like spies.

"They're a lively pair, eh, Neku?"

"Oh god, I hope they don't make a fool of themselves again. They have a tendency to say and do stupid things."

"I distinctly remember you saying they're strict, but they seem like nice people, even if they're a little… overexcited."

"They're equal measures of strict and loopy. It's a weird combination and I can't ever catch a break."

She chuckled. "At least their loopy side makes life interesting! My parents aren't nearly as fun. They're more like dictators."

"I'm sure they've got their good side, Eri…"

"Hey, when you wanted us to leave quickly, was it because you didn't want to meet them?"

"Heh, you're quick on the uptake. I've been meaning to get you to meet my folks someday, but they're so full of nasty surprises, you totally need a strategy to deal with them. I thought I should warn you beforehand about the inappropriate things they can say sometimes."

She cocked her head to one side, remaining cheerful. "Come on, they can't be all that bad. Besides, I say lots of inappropriate things myself too!"

"Eri… that's not something you should be proud of."

When prayers were done, the grand battle of wits continued in full force. But first…

"Why don't you have lunch with us, you two?" suggested Uncle. "We'd very much like to know all the juicy details about your relationship."

Ready for anything, Eri agreed with a big smile. "Sounds like a plan. Free meals for the win!"

Her little joke worked nicely with them and they fell into a hearty chuckle. Uncle was especially delighted, as he was a man who loved a good laugh. "Looks like you're a natural comedian on top of being cute, lass! If half of your sense of humour rubbed off on Neku here, that'd be great!"

I reacted awkwardly, "I'm working on it… kinda…"

XOXOXOXOXO

We were whisked away to a family restaurant nearby to dine with my folks. She was the guest of honour and the questions still descended upon her like an endless shower of meteors. I was really worried she might crack under the weight of their "friendly interrogation" session, but she was able to keep up and didn't get overwhelmed at all. Uncle was no slouch in the embarrassing question department, with Auntie being even more proficient at it. To cite a good example…

"Neku's always so hush-hush," she said, "when it comes to his private life…"

"To be fair," I interjected, "there's a reason it's called 'private'."

My comment ended up on deaf ears. "…so we never get to hear much from him. I'll cut to the chase, Eri: how far have you two gone?"

"A-Auntie?!"

Auntie was a sucker for tabloids and my love life with Eri was to be the next big thing since the UFO that supposedly landed in Scramble Crossing two years ago. There was no stone she wanted to leave unturned. "Specifics! Forgive my probing but as his guardian I need details. Just to know he's been playing nice, you know?"

"What the heck… What do you mean by – "

There was nothing I could do but bury my face as she asked Eri at a breakneck pace about many things, each more mortifying than the last. And yet, despite how intrusive she obviously was, she still managed to maintain a friendly disposition, something I knew was part of her plan to lower Eri's guard and get the goods to spill quicker.

"Now then! Just a wee bit curious, Eri… but for starters, have you two gone shopping before? If you go to a lingerie store, do you take him with you? Have you ever been to an onsen with him, and if so, bathed together and washed each other's backs? Speaking of baths, since you two are close, am I right to assume that you regularly take baths at his house? Do you use your tongues when you kiss? What about – "

Oh my god… We'd done nearly all of those things! My aunt and uncle would have a fit if they knew the truth. A fit of joy. Trust me, it's worse than you think.

Bemused by all the attention she was getting, Eri glanced my way momentarily, as if to ask, "What's the plan, Neku?" I signaled "don't tell" with a quick furrow of my brows. I didn't know if she got the message, though.

"Don't be shy," Uncle said persuasively. "We don't mind the truth, even if it's a little smutty."

I stiffened like a statue when Eri broke into a girlish laugh and spoke up.

"Oh come now!" she giggled, making that little waving hand motion of hers. "You make it sound like we're up to our throats in all sorts of shenanigans. Neku and I are not like that at all…"

Okay, she lied. Whew, good! That's one bullet dodged –

"…We may have done all the things you mentioned, Auntie, but French kisses we haven't even tried once!"

Eri… Why did you have to ruin my day with such a wide grin on your face…

Auntie was so delighted to hear that I was making progress in with my love life that she nudged me in the arm repeatedly with her rock-hard elbow, hitting my funny bone without fail and sending my nerves into a fit. And the wink of approval she gave me was a gigantic one that got me all uncomfortable.

"That's music to my ears!" she chortled. "Your parents would be proud, Neku. Proud, I tell you!"

My five-watt reply to that was, "Y-Yeah. I guess so." Now nothing could save me…

Uncle had some grim advice that he felt would be useful to us. "It's nice that you're in love and all, kids, but when you're ready to take the plunge you must always remember to wear protection."

I felt the hairs on my neck stand on end. "Uncle?! Now it's _your_ turn to jump into the crazy bandwagon?!"

He turned to me, cross that I wasn't buying his words of wisdom. "Neku, it's ignorance like yours that will lead you into trouble one day."

"Don't worry!" chirped Eri. "Neku and I have got it down pat. We bought some about a couple of months ago, so we're set!"

Gah! Everybody stop talking! Ow! Auntie was literally whacking my elbow this time and with more gusto than before!

"You should learn from her, Neku," added Uncle. What? Was I being chided?! "You can be far too careless for your own good sometimes, but that's bad if you're going to remain as her boyfriend."

"Look, Uncle, I'm not – ow!"

"Neku's a grown man now!" Even more nudging courtesy of my aunt followed. My poor arm would be paralysed before long. "I always knew you'd pull through somehow!"

Stop talking, I said! Ugh, getting tired of talking in exclamation marks.

We weren't even halfway through lunch and, despite my protests, my aunt and uncle already had a thorough idea of Eri's personality and habits. It's nice that they didn't go ballistic at all, so it's as good a sign as any, I guess…

When Auntie spoke up again I thought she was going to bring up some weird story from my childhood so I was more than ready to bolt for the exit. Luckily it wasn't the case. But I'd have preferred if she kept quiet all the same.

"Seriously though, I'm glad he's made a friend in you, Eri. He's always been the type to go it alone, so we were worried he'd go through life without a single friend."

"Why'd you say that?" I grumbled. "You're making me look bad."

"But it's true, isn't it, Neku?" she countered matter-of-factly. "There was a time during your youth when you were loath to make friends. No matter what your uncle and I said, you couldn't bring yourself to socialize."

"A… A lot of things happened." I thought back to my experiences during a certain Game years ago. "And I'm better now, so… that's all that matters, right?"

Instead of probing further like my foster parents were prone to do, Eri was smart enough to walk the sincere path.

"I'm sure he had his reasons for being that way before," she said, "so it might be hard to blame him for it. But whatever the case, he's been working hard all these years to become a better person and is doing a fine job at it. I can certainly vouch for that!"

Her words moved me incredibly, but I didn't have time to let it really tug at my heartstrings because my aunt and uncle got overwhelmed first. They promptly showered her with thanks and praise for being such a good girl.

"That is so sweet of you!" squealed my ever-insufferable aunt. "You really are a perfect match for him!"

Uncle had a grin three feet wide. "You're an angel, that's for sure!"

Auntie clasped Eri's hands tightly. "So, when are you two having kids?"

I choked on my food. "H-Hey?!"

"It'll be nice to become grandparents," mused Uncle, "although we'll be more like a grand-uncle and grand-aunt…"

"H-Hold up! You can't just say whatever you like – "

Eri didn't make things any easier for me. Startled by their fervent gestures, she blurted absentmindedly, "Um, uh… w-we're working on that?"

For once, I didn't mind getting killed.

And then of course Uncle had to be helpful again.

"There's no rush, but if you two are up for it, they say the best time to conceive is on a full moon."

Yeah. Just kill me now.

XOXOXOXOXO

I didn't know how Eri did it. How could she survive their incessant questions and downright crazy behaviour and still look so chipper? She was all smiles and sunshine when I would have long shot myself. Then again, this could be a case of birds of a feather flocking together.

We got a free ride home in Uncle's aging sedan and they dropped us off at my apartment. Auntie poked her head out of the passenger seat window, trying to squeeze in a few final minutes' worth of conversation with who they already liked to regard as their adopted son's future wife. Don't get me wrong, it's great that they were so accepting of her, but they might be rushing it a little…

"Are you staying over at Neku's place again tonight?"

"Yup!"

"I like how the two of you are practically living under the same roof. It's very… encouraging."

"Auntie," I groaned, "cut it out already. You're making me blush, and not in a good way."

"Get used to it," she retorted. "We're going to be keeping tabs on you even more closely from now on to see how you're holding up. Relationships must never be taken lightly, so if you make any mistakes, you can count on us to give you the talking-to you need to straighten you out."

I could never win against my aunt. She may not have made it to college, but she's acquired a lot of life experience so she was a smart woman in her own right. I usually ceded whatever battles of wit we had to her.

"Okay, fine," I sighed. "It's nothing new anyway."

"Good. And, Eri?"

"Yes, Auntie?"

"You certainly have a wild and carefree outlook on life," said Auntie in a sincere tone, "but you're not a bad girl at all. No offense, but we were honestly surprised when Neku picked a girl with a personality that's vastly different from his. We thought he'd have chosen someone more… subdued. But it looks like you two are getting along well so we have no need to worry. So what I'm saying, Eri… is that I think we can trust you. Will you continue to stay by his side?"

Eri gasped. The look on her face screamed, "Whoa! Am I even hearing things right?!" She had to double-check.

"A-Are you sure you're okay with me?"

Uncle craned his neck so he could see her from the driver's seat. "Why wouldn't we? If you love each other, that's all that matters to us. Compatibility with your partner may be important, but in the end happiness is all the counts. Are you happy being with him?"

"Yes…"

Now the same question was directed towards me. "Neku, what about you? How do you feel about the little lady? You happy being with her?"

"Um, yeah, of… of course I love her. What else could it be?"

He smiled at her, showing off his pearly whites. "There you go! You love each other. That's what we want to know. Really, that's all there is to it!"

Auntie picked up where she had left off. "So I'll ask you again: will you continue to stay by his side?"

Eri's eyes were shining with delight and I could have sworn they were getting a little misty at that. But she composed herself in a flash before things got too mushy and, with a firm nod, her reply was firm and confident:

"You bet I will!"

"Glad to hear it!" approved Uncle.

"Th-Thank you very much!"

"You've got a good girl in your life, Neku," said Auntie. "Take care of her just as she does you."

I chose not to saturate the already saccharine atmosphere by getting too hyper like the other three were. "That's what I promised her."

"And that's what I like to hear! Keep at it!"

XOXOXOXOXO

That evening, as we cuddled up on the sofa in a romantically dimmed living room, we went over the day's events together.

"Sorry about my aunt and uncle," I said, bashful over their outrageous behaviour. "They're not famous for subtlety."

"Don't worry," she giggled. "I kinda like them. They're easy to talk to. Also, thanks for today." She ground her head into my shoulder, which reminded me of a cat rubbing against its owner's leg. "Not only did you help me feel more confident about us as a couple, I also had the opportunity to meet with your family and get their blessings to boot. I didn't think they'd approve of me so quickly. We both know I'm the silly mischievous one of us two, so I felt that they'd play the 'wait and see if she's right for him' game instead. Anyway, I sure ain't complaining!"

"Me neither. We ought to thank our lucky stars. We sure had it easy, considering."

Then, with another giggle, she added, "I gotta admit I was caught off guard when they asked me when we'd have children."

"Oh god, don't remind me." Hours after that fateful meeting, I hadn't forgotten the embarrassment. My face simmered to boiling point again. "What is it about being old and wrinkly that makes you push your own kids to have _their_ own kids?"

"Ha ha ha… You're asking the wrong person, Neku."

We stayed still and quiet, resting in each other's warmth. It had been a very hectic day and the best way for my brain to rest was to spend it in relative silence. I closed my eyes, feeling thankful for simply being with Eri and extending my thanks to the people who helped to support me. Mr H, Kariya, Uzuki… They were just some of the good souls in my life who put up with me and my dorky ways. But the biggest share of my gratitude had to go to one person.

Eri herself. We're together not just because she loved me, but because she also _believed_ in me, both as a person and a friend.

Out of the blue, I muttered her name aloud. She looked at me curiously.

"Neku?"

Our gazes connecting, I whispered, "Stay with me, Eri. Forever."

"I'm a woman of my word," she chirped. "You betcha I'll be at your side. Didn't I just promise your folks?"

"I know, thank you."

"Thank _you_."

"Heh… Well, that makes us even."

…

…

**Author's note:**

**The reason I took longer with this chapter is because I was writing another TWEWY story at the same time and I intended to release both simultaneously. So if you're free, please do take a look at The Loner's Birthday Bash. It's a story about Neku celebrating his birthday all by himself. It's not happy, but hopefully it'll entertain your… dark side.**

**This chapter introduces Neku's folks, whom I've included to establish one of the more important junctures of a couple's life: meeting the (foster) parents. You may be wondering why I don't name his guardians. That's because I don't like including original characters in fanfiction; they tend to dilute the presence of the main characters. If I have to rope them in for a specific purpose (in this case, helping Eri to get to know Neku's family better), then I wouldn't keep them around for too long. Maybe they will appear in two chapters at most, but never more than that if I can help it. So this may or may not be the last time we'll ever see Neku's foster parents.**

**You'll notice the same pattern with the other original characters in this story. Eri and Shiki's last boyfriends, Derpboy, Lusty and Burnout to name but a few. All of them were quickly written out of the main plot, never to return. This story is about Neku and Eri, so I intend to keep it that way.**

**Alright, hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will see you again in Chapter 36… bye!**


	36. Under One Roof, Part 1

**She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 36)  
><strong>by BrDPirateMan

"Hey, Neku, you up for a round of karaoke?"

Classes were over and we had the rest of the evening free. Apparently these guys were raring for a good song and were trying to rope me in, but I had other plans.

"Sorry," I said smilingly, "maybe another time. I'm taking my girlfriend out to see a movie tonight."

"Well, _someone's_ a busy little bee," sneered one classmate.

Someone else grabbed me from behind and placed me in a friendly headlock, nothing that would kill me though. "You're just twistin' the knife in the wounds of us single folk, aren'tcha?! Gettin' all nice and lovey-dovey with your girl while we drown our frustrations in karaoke!"

In playful defiance, I said, "Hey, to be fair, I worked real hard to get myself a girlfriend. I deserve that much happiness at least."

"Ooh, you're asking for it, Neku. Then you deserve _this_ too!"

The group laughed as my captor ground his fist into my hair in a vicious noogie. Even I got caught up in the mirth.

Another person asked, "Well then, is there anyone else who can make it? What about you, Kenji? Are you free? Oh wait, don't tell us you – "

He slapped his hands together and was most apologetic, for what it's worth. "Sorry, guys. Keiko absolutely needs me to be home tonight. She's got a little surprise for me."

"Yeah," snorted the first guy. "Herself, I'll bet."

The classmate who was holding me hostage piped up, "Do you want me to give you a headlock, Kenji? I got a free arm."

Amidst a slew of renewed laughter and jeering from a bunch of jealous guys, something he had said caught my attention and didn't let go. Tired of smelling my friend's armpit, I managed to free myself. "Kenji? Are you staying over at your girlfriend's place or something?"

"Not quite," answered Kenji slyly. "Actually, I'm living together with her."

"Really? First I heard of it."

"Been this way for half a year now!"

Cohabitation… It's when an unmarried couple decides to stay together under the same roof for mutual reasons. Although I'd certainly heard of it, I didn't know much about it and haven't seen the concept at work in real life.

"Is that really okay?" I asked cautiously.

Kenji chuckled. "Why not? Maybe ten or twenty years ago it'd have been scandalous, but it's the 21st century now. It's not weird anymore, it's chic and modern! It has various benefits too, and not just because you get to spend more time together."

The rest of Singles Anonymous openly bemoaned their lack of a love life and began labeling him as a traitor.

"Not cool, bro," laughed this one fellow. "I thought we're friends."

"Heh, sure we are. The gods just don't love you as much."

"Of all the…! Get him!"

Everyone then pretended to pummel him into paste, laughing a great deal in the process. I left them be and went out with Eri. All the while, I couldn't stop thinking about cohabitation and how it would work if she and I did it. It was a tantalizing idea, but sounded like there would be a lot of commitments. Definitely not something to jump into without a lot of thought at any rate.

The movie we watched tonight was a romantic comedy that Eri had been clamouring to see – chick flicks weren't my thing but at least it wasn't another horror film, so I was all for it. Then the film took on an interesting turn when it introduced a shining moment of plot development – the protagonist and his best gal pal decide to move into the same apartment. Almost immediately they were forced to deal with various accidental hijinks all the way to the conclusion. Although it wasn't an accurate representation of a real-life scenario, it was nonetheless fascinating.

Eri emerged feeling very contented with the film and shared her opinions with me over sundaes at the nearest ice-cream parlor.

"That was fun," she said. "I liked that the characters had some depth to them. Take the girl, for example. Beneath her playful exterior, all she wants is for the guy she loves to notice her, so she plays pranks on him in a desperate bid for his attention."

"I'll give you that the movie was entertaining but the plot was kinda 'been there, done that'…"

"Yeah, but it still works. Its charm definitely showed through. The guy seemed like the cool guy at first but when the girl figured out his weaknesses and started pushing his buttons it was so cute! The part where she teased him into playing strip Snakes and Ladders was my favourite!"

"That reminds me of you. Actually, the whole movie reminds me of us."

"Exactly what I was thinking!" she giggled. "The savvy guy and the lively girl… I could totally relate to it in a lot of ways!"

Staying together ought to be a lot of fun, if that movie was any indication. I wasn't specifically talking about the stripping games, of course, or even the increased likelihood of walking in on your partner while she's in the midst of changing and catching an eyeful of skin. But looking at it as a whole it seemed like a workable plan. There were still some creases that needed ironing and it was up to me to do that. I had to know more. Time to do some homework…

Underneath the table I felt Eri's foot nudge against my leg. She was in a good mood – that lovably crazy mood – and teased me, saying, "So… how about you and me do a round of strip Snakes and Ladders? I'll give you a handicap."

I didn't answer to that and simply laughed it off. I knew better than to dig my own grave. She was fantastic at manipulating people.

Instead I asked her, "Do you have any friends who live in the same house with others?"

"Hmmm? Um, I've got a quartet of girlfriends who stay in the same apartment."

"No, that's not quite what I'm looking for. I mean do you have any friends who are in a relationship and are staying with their boyfriends?"

"There are one or two I know of. Why?"

"Just asking. I think the whole cohabitation thing is interesting somehow."

"Are you thinking of trying it out? With me?"

That was both fast and accurate for a wild guess! I graced her with an honest reply. "I've been toying with the idea, yeah. But I haven't thought about it that deeply yet. I mean, there's got to be all sorts of factors to consider, right?"

It was here that the conversation shifted to a more philosophical tone and she had a few meaty thoughts for me to chew on.

"Mm-hmm. The most important thing is that both of you have to be close. If you've only just started dating, then it's best to wait until the relationship is stable before even considering it at all. At least, that's what an article I read in a magazine told me…"

"How long would that be?"

"Hmmm… When two of my buddies started sharing this one nice place, they had been dating for about half a year. I'd say that's fair enough."

I stroked my chin. "Six months, huh? If the relationship doesn't work, it'd probably fall apart well before then. That's a good yardstick."

"Precisely."

Using extreme subtlety, I put forth a possible scenario for her to think about. "But it's still just a yardstick, an approximation at best. Sometimes it can't really be applied if the circumstances are different. Take this for example: let's say the boy and girl have known each other for a long time, and done lots of things together like going out for burgers and movies before actually dating for real… In that case they could start living together earlier, right? Especially if, you know, the girl has stayed over at the boy's house… like, a few times… and – "

Eri peered into my face with a sly, knowing grin. "Gosh, that's awfully specific… You couldn't possibly be talking about _us_, could you now?"

"Huh? How did – ack, I didn't mean…!"

So much for "extreme subtlety". I _was_ referring to the two of us. She got me good!

And she burst into a lighthearted laugh, rapidly slapping my leg with her foot while I just gulped and blushed.

"Next time, just come right out and say what you feel, okay?"

"Um, right." I coughed hard to try and force all the heat and redness out of my face (didn't work, by the way). "So… what do you think of us sharing the same apartment? Is it… possible at this stage?"

Eri was very careful to weigh all the important factors at hand. "Like I said, with most couples, they'd tend to wait a while to test the water before moving in together. About six months' wait is ideal, but it's quite a different story for us. I've stayed over at your place so many times I'm practically a tenant. Even before we're living together, we're already living together! See what I'm getting at?"

"More or less, yeah. Weird way to put it, though."

"Therefore, we're used to being under the same roof. Theoretically, we could shack up now and it wouldn't even be a big deal."

I latched onto her words, thrilled to hear that it might be possible. "Then if we gave it a shot, would it work out?"

"I don't know… Not to burst your bubble or anything, but I did say 'theoretically'. You said it yourself, Neku: there are all sorts of things to take into account before we can even begin to make the big move. All I know is, even with our routine the way it currently is, it wouldn't be that easy. That's just how I feel anyway."

Her response deflated my spirit a little, but I knew she was simply being careful. Somewhere deep in my psyche, however, I had my hunches that we could make it work.

Before I knew it, a spoonful of ice-cream was thrust in front of my face.

"We can think about the heavy stuff later," she chirped. "But for now, you need a helping of chocolatey goodness. Here, say 'Ahhh'…"

"…You know I'm still not comfortable with being fed in public."

"Oh, c'mon, we'll be fine! We're at a barely noticeable corner table."

"Which is also conveniently right next to the window. Where passersby can easily see us."

She _tched_ lightly. "How long do you intend to make me hold up this darn spoon? Suck it up and eat it already."

Reluctantly, I opened my trap and in it went. I bet people nearby were cringing…

"That's more like it," she chuckled. "The joys of mutual understanding, see?"

Mutual understanding? Ah, that's right, the success rate of cohabitation depends largely on that. Since Eri and I were strong in that department, the prospects of staying under the same rood were as feasible as they were tempting.

But she's right. It's not something to jump into without a lot of thought. Best to wait a little longer and see.

XOXOXOXOXO

Over the next several weeks, the amount of coursework would reach an all-time high. With assignment deadlines thrown every which way, there was seldom a break to be had. Eri had her butler job too, so that made her even busier than me.

The upshot of this was that we couldn't see each other much, save for our weekend lessons. She didn't stay over as much as I hoped, and I really looked forward to her visits.

I worried that our relationship might go on the decline if this continued, but I also reminded myself not to be too clingy and to maintain a healthy balance of "me time" and "us time". Eri was a total live wire, but much like everyone else, she had her downtime when she'd rather relax by herself.

Still, I couldn't help that our daily routine was slowly turning upside-down. The cracks were starting to show. Give it time and they'd just expand. I had to do something.

The real kicker came on this one particular Sunday. We were supposed to go swimming as usual and throughout the day I was bubbling with excitement, trying to guess what sort of swimsuit she'd wear this week. Once or twice during my job at the bakery, I almost spaced out to thoughts of her in her favourite bikini, running up to me in slow-motion and waving hi with gusto. Ah… imagination is one of life's greatest things. But I had to slap myself at some point to get my concentration back.

Halfway through my shift I received a text message, which I read when I found a break.

_Hi Neku, sry I cant make it 4 swimming lessons 2day, I hv to finish my assignment for tmrw… I'm busy like craaaaazy! D: Sorry x9000! Will make it up 2 u soon, catch u l8r xoxo_

My bubble of fantasies popped in an instant. I was so disappointed! Weekends were supposed to be our most sacred time together… the time when a boy and girl could be even more madly in love than they usually were! But she was in a rush, so it couldn't be helped.

This was the catalyst that would spark off a chain of important events. Having endured weeks of minimal contact, I was already on edge, even when I repeatedly told myself not to be so spoilt. But the postponement of our swimming lesson caused me to wonder about the long-term consequences of a fragmented relationship. Of course, I may be blowing things out of proportion, but I knew that I was at least partly right. We just weren't seeing each other that often, and it worried me.

We didn't see any immediate conclusion to our workloads in the near future. There must be a way to deal with our coursework and still be able to see each other on a healthy, regular basis.

"Damn," I muttered to myself, "this is getting serious."

For a while, no viable solutions came to mind. Then one day, on a dumb stroke of luck, I chanced upon a magazine with an interesting headline in the campus library:

"_Cohabitation: How to Stay Efficiently with a Partner"_

That's it! This was just the thing we needed! I couldn't believe I had actually forgotten about it completely. Supposing we started living together, we wouldn't have to worry about not seeing each other. Even at our busiest, both of us would have to be home at some point. We might not be able to spend as much time indulging in each other's company as we did before the Great Coursework Rush (as I liked to call it), but a little cuddling and joking around here and there would go a long way.

There were various advantages and disadvantages to cohabitation as I found out from the magazine, and because it's a big commitment, it's absolutely crucial to make sure you're staying with someone whom you're comfortable with and vice versa. Now that's something Eri and I could tick off of our checklist! We got that covered!

After much thought over several more days, weighing the good against the bad, I became convinced that we had to give it a shot in order to beef up our relationship. I decided to pose the big question to her during lunch on Saturday.

"Eri, will you… be my roommate?"

She blinked at me, unsure what to make of it.

"This is very sudden of you, Neku. What brought this up? Did something happen?"

"Well, see…"

I explained everything to her.

"Ooh, so that's why," she said at last. "It's true we haven't been meeting up much. My schedule's been filled to the brim as of late. I wish I could etch out an hour or two of free time, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen…"

"Not much luck on my end either. But with this setup I suggested, we don't need to worry anymore. Plus, there are other benefits."

"Oh? Like what?"

The fruits of my research were beginning to show. I looked into this very carefully so I had a strong case to put forward.

"We'll be safer together," I reasoned. "The crime rate worries me. It hasn't been dropping, and the latest burglary happened in this neighbourhood…"

"I read about that one, yeah," said Eri, folding her arms. "The poor guy's place was cleaned out. Not only that, he was also attacked by the burglar. Slashed across the arm with a pocket knife. He had to be sent to hospital to get stitches."

"These are dangerous times," I shuddered. "It's a bad idea to stay alone, and that's exactly what we're doing. We'll stand a better chance if we stick together."

"You really are my knight in shining armour. Sappy theatrics aside though, are there any other advantages?"

"Well, it also ensures that someone is always nearby if either of us falls sick. And simply being together gives us a huge morale boost that not only makes us happier, but improves the quality of whatever we do, be it work, or cooking, or… or…"

"Sex?"

"Huh?!" I almost spilled my glass of water!

Even though she tried to sound nonchalant, it wasn't hard to make out the reddish tint on her face. "Th-That's only natural, isn't it? A couple living together is bound to have plenty of… opportunities… Not to mention ideas… and… positions – "

"Whoa, stop!" I waved my hands frantically. "Too much information!"

"S-Sorry. Ahem!"

"Yeah, anyway, um… I've pretty much told you what you need to know. What do you think?"

I waited for her to pounce at the idea like a panther and say, "Alright! Let's get to it!" However, against my expectations, she actually kept a level head and maintained a good half minute in silence, thinking deeply and twisting a lock of pink hair in her fingers.

"You've got a few good points there," she said, "and I'm happy you thought it through instead of just deciding this on a whim. Now, I won't dispute what you just said, and thanks to you I'm starting to get really interested in shacking up, but I'd like you to hear me out on maybe a couple of things."

Uh-oh… Don't tell me there was something I'd missed? What could that be? I had looked at it from all angles…

"Neku, who's gonna move into whose house?"

Huh? Oh, I'll admit I didn't think about that one. However, the answer was still as clear as day.

"Seeing as you've been crashing at my place a lot, I think it's only natural for you to move in with me. You're quite comfortable staying here, actually. It's like a second home for you, right?"

"True," she said with a nod. "I've gotten so used to things around here, and I'd gladly stay here for the long haul… if it weren't for one nagging problem."

"Wh-What's that?"

"Space. Or lack thereof."

I took a glance all around my apartment. This was a place I had stayed in comfortably for the past one or two years – how long, I don't exactly remember – but it wasn't big. The spare bedroom was good for accommodating a certain surprise guest and letting her stay the night, but then that's because she didn't bring all of her stuff with her.

"Your apartment is nice and cozy, Neku. Thing is, there's hardly enough space to keep all of my belongings. My clothes alone would take up half of your bedroom, and it's bigger than mine."

"That _would_ be a bit of a problem alright. I've seen how packed your closets are."

"It's not getting any better these days either," she sighed. "My wardrobe keeps expanding at an exponential rate. I'm going to have some real issues sooner or later…"

"Th-That's because you can't stop buying stuff…"

She went on the defensive. "Look, I can't help it, alright? If there's a good deal in town, I gotta cinch it before it's too late. How else am I survive their cutthroat prices? You should know it's even worse for – "

If I didn't stop her, she'd go on and on. "Okay, I got it already! Neither my place nor yours has enough space for your stuff, so neither of us can move into the other's."

"Actually, if it weren't for the lack of space, it'd be peanuts to live together. But our problem with space takes on many forms, so that makes it hard to ignore."

"Many forms? You mean it's not just closet space that we have to take care of?"

She nodded and pointed at the refrigerator. "Case in point: with the two of us, we'd need twice as much food. But you've just got a tiny fridge. It won't be enough. And don't think of buying a new fridge; it'll be too large for this place, and they're not cheap either."

I couldn't deny that. It was a small thing, good enough to hold only my own food supply, and even then I often had headaches trying to jam new food inside.

Without sufficient space for both of us, living together would be quite uncomfortable. My heart plummeted ten feet. Did we have no chance at all?

"Are there no other alternatives?" I asked. "Isn't there something we can do?"

"Wow, you're awfully desperate," she teased. "But I can totally understand. We're a couple of hot young things about to embark on another leg of our journey of love and discovery. I'm curious too, you know? I've never lived with anyone before, let alone a boy, so I really want to know what it's like… and what we can get away with."

"Do I sense a whole slew of crazy new ideas in the making?"

"Maaaaaybe." She just left it at that with a seductive giggle and a nudge of my leg with her foot – playing footsie with me was her newest hobby, see. "Anyway, I've got an idea…"

"Uh… renovation?"

A kind smile graced her lips. "No, silly. _Relocation._ We just need to find a bigger apartment. Nice try though. I'll give you a gold star for your efforts."

Ooh, that's right! Why didn't I think of that? That would solve our problems nicely. But, having gotten used to unexpected disappointments, I was slightly skeptical. Life was never easy. The forces of the universe seldom gave us a break. So I knew… I just knew there had to be a catch.

"Wait a minute," I said, putting up my hand. "Isn't it hard to find apartments these days? I mean, ones that are vacant. They keep getting snapped up."

"Yeah, that's true," she said sadly. "We'll have to keep an eye out for any that become available for rent, and it wouldn't be easy."

"And supposing we do find one, we need to think about whether it's worth the trouble of staying there at all. For example, is it closer to college, or farther?"

Eri picked up from there. "How long does it take to reach the nearest bus stop or train station?"

"Is it gonna be in a safe neighbourhood? I sure don't want to stay thick in the middle of a yakuza nest…"

"Most importantly!" she piped up urgently. "There has to be good boutiques nearby. Some accessory shops would be nice too. That's absolutely crucial without a shadow of a doubt."

"…Eri, you've got some skewed priorities there."

"Hey come on! I'm a fashion designer in the making! Clothes are practically my lifeline. You can't take me away from my one true love! Don't… Don't you understand that at least?"

"This is why you're running out of closet space in the first place…"

"What do you expect me to do, toss out all of my favourite clothes? They're like my babies, every single one of them! And then expect me to go naked all the time? No way!"

"That's _exactly_ what you do all the time!"

Eri wanted to pursue her argument to the finish – whether she really meant what she said or was faking it for kicks, I didn't know anymore – but again I stopped her.

"For the record, you _would_ like to live together with me… right, Eri?"

"I'd love to," she replied, "but not with the circumstances as they are. We need a bigger place."

"I know. We should start looking. If you come across anything good, let me know. I'll sniff around myself too, ask my friends and stuff."

"Cool."

"One more thing. We've got cost to look at too. If the rent is too high, we're not taking it no matter how great the place is."

"Oh, darn!" she huffed, crossing her arms. "I guess the penthouse suite at the top of Pork City is out of the question, huh."

"I hope you weren't seriously eyeing that…"

XOXOXOXOXO

Finding the apartment of our dreams was a task easier said than done. It's just as I suspected: here in crowded Japan where space was at a premium, vacant apartments were a rarity. We'd catch wind of a suitable-sounding place, but we'd be invariably disappointed when we actually went to take a look ourselves. Sometimes it was smaller than what Eri would like it to be. Other times, the facilities weren't to our liking.

I'll never forget this one place that we checked out last week. Eri was all excited when she handed me the details, hastily written on a scrap of paper.

"It's really cheap!" she said, with emphasis on the last word. "Friend of mine introduced this to me. The specs don't look too bad either… Shall we take a gander, Neku?"

Something about it felt off. The rent was the first thing that got my attention, but not in a good way. It was too cheap. Normally the rent for apartments of this type is many yen higher, so unless this was a real bargain, we were looking at a disaster in disguise. You can't trust things that are too good to be true.

Nevertheless, at her insistence, we arranged for a look-see. Frankly, I was curious myself, but only to see how bad it'd turn out to be. I was sure there'd be a leaky faucet here, a faulty electrical socket there… that sort of thing.

Nothing could prepare me for the shock that lay in wait, though.

We now stood at the front door of No. 44, which the estate agent had some trouble unlocking. Judging by the angry blotches of rust on the doorknob, it must have been – oh, months? – since the last occupant moved out. That's a horrible first impression if I ever saw one. Eri, however, was still hopeful.

The door was finally pried open, and the air from inside that blew into our faces stank of mould. The agent even remarked that we should open the windows to let fresh air in, which we were more than happy to do. I couldn't believe the extent of neglect that this place had gone through. The bad feeling I already had grew tenfold.

The agent was very enthusiastic in giving us the tour. Beneath his zesty talk, however, I could sense a hint of desperation, like he was compensating for something. Eri couldn't really sense anything wrong, but I had my guard up. There had to be something that wasn't right about this place…

…and there it was!

"The closets in the master bedroom are large and should cater to all of your needs," simpered the agent, "and over here, we have – "

"Hold up," I said. "I've been bothered about this one thing…"

"Sure, just say it."

I led the two of them back into the living room and pointed at the farthest and darkest corner, where a human-sized figurine stood almost completely obscured in the shadows. It looked like one of those oversized mascot suits one would wear during a promotional event, or during a stint at the amusement park having photos taken with children. Modeled after a bear, it was basically a giant teddy. The design was anything but kid-friendly, though. The thing's grin was too wide, giving it an unsettling appearance. I couldn't imagine anyone in their right mind wanting to go near it.

"What in the world," I asked, "is that supposed to be? And why is it here?"

I must have struck a weak point asking the agent about it because his composure seemed to erode a bit. Clearing his throat a tad too long, he reluctantly answered, "Ah… that. That's something the last tenant left behind."

"Huh. Well, I certainly don't want it, if I decide to stay here…"

"Er, uh… I'm afraid it's not possible to remove it, sir."

Now Eri was curious. "Why not?"

"Every time we tried to dispose it, it'd just – uh, no, it just… never… uh…"

The agent struggled for an answer, doing nothing to ease my suspicions. This was a surefire indication that he was hiding something important. He tried to wave it off like everything was nice and dandy, but he only dug himself deeper into his own grave.

"Ha ha ha… Don't worry, you two. As long as you're careful, nothing will happen!"

"What do you mean, 'nothing will happen'?!" I jabbed. "Nothing's _supposed_ to happen!"

"I-It's harmless! Believe me, as long as you get things down pat in here, you can live happily and that thing will become a non-issue."

"Exactly what are we supposed to get down pat?! What _is_ that thing?!"

While I was trying to crowbar the truth out of him, Eri interrupted us, "Um, guys? Didn't Teddy used to be over there?"

We looked over at the corner where the accursed figurine was standing, only to find that its position had shifted by about two feet. I was sure there were only three of us in here at the moment… and none of us did anything…

With alarm bells blaring in my head, I was all stammers and nonsense. "Hey, did that thing just move?!"

The agent, struggling to maintain his crumbling façade of innocence, attempted to force-feed us with more of his sweet talk, but he was starting to become freaked out not just from that whatchamacallit, but also from us losing interest in the apartment. He launched a last-ditch effort to convince us, but it hardly worked.

"No, wait! It's perfectly fine! Okay, you two, please come with me. There's something really _really_ important I need to show you. We actually have a state-of-the-art surveillance system that you can control all from the safety of your master bedroom. The power needed to run it is limited, but with this you can monitor that thing's movements and – "

Eri was less spooked than me, perhaps due to her exposure to numerous horror movies, but she was just as unwilling as I was to stick around. At least she was nicer to the agent, in stark contrast to my harshness.

"Um, sorry, but I think we'll pass after all. Right, Neku?"

"Y-Yeah, I don't think I can stay one night here… let alone five."

As we made for the front door, the agent scrambled to his feet to chase after us but was stopped short by a rather inconvenient detail that we too noticed…

"Neku?"

"Y-Yes, Eri?"

My gaze followed the direction of her extended index finger – the agent himself. Or rather, what's behind him. That bear!

"Oh god, it's _there_ now?!" I grabbed Eri by the wrist and pulled. "We're outta here!"

As we hightailed it out the front door, she slammed it shut behind her out of instinct, leaving the poor wretch to his fate with Teddy. We didn't stop running until the apartment was completely out of sight. The two of us practically collapsed at the nearest bus stop, out of breath. It would be a good two minutes before we could even bring ourselves to say anything.

Eri spoke up first. "I thought I had stumbled upon a good deal. I'm terribly sorry."

"There's no way you would have known beforehand," I panted. "Though here's a rule of thumb: if the rent's absurdly low, you should suspect that the place stinks."

"Sorry… I was working with the mindset I take to clothing sales. 'The cheaper, the better!' 'Get 'em while you can!' …Guess it doesn't really apply to houses, huh."

"Not at all. Damn, though…" I passed my hand across my forehead, wiping off sweat. "Who'd have thought we'd come across a haunted house right here!"

"You could say it's… alternatively occupied."

"Eri… if I wasn't panting so hard… I might appreciate that joke…"

XOXOXOXOXO

All was not lost, however. Although our big break would come along a little belatedly, it was still the break we needed nonetheless.

It was a sweltering afternoon, unusual in spring. Unwilling to stand the heat any longer, Eri dragged me into the bathroom with her.

As she diligently scrubbed my back, she yakked non-stop. "So like I was saying… our new home has got to have a bathtub. It's been so long since I had my last good soak in a bubble bath."

"Why a bathtub?" Then I joked dryly, "You could do just fine in a kitchen sink, I bet."

"Maybe I'll be fine but two people in a sink isn't going to be very comfortable at all. We'd have to get real close and… you know, squeeze in."

"Whuh?!" Did she just say something outrageous again?! "S-Squeeze in?!"

"What're you getting all worked up over?" she laughed. "You're the one who brought it up. But seriously, I so want a bathtub. After a long hard day at college or work, I want nothing more than to sit in the tub and relax!"

I was still reeling from the image of the two of us crammed in dangerous ways in the sink, but did away with it quickly. "I dunno, Eri. If it's me, I'd probably just take a shower and be done with it. I don't have all the time in the world."

"So unromantic!" she scoffed good-naturedly. Playful as ever, she wrapped her arms around my neck in a hug, and her damp cheek pressed onto my own. "Not even going to consider the refreshing goodness of a little skin-to-skin contact? Not to mention the things we can do? Hee hee…"

Fighting hard against her feminine wiles – and a very tender chest to my back – I tried to calm myself down by playing it cool. "That's nice, but I'd rather not have one thing lead to another. Not yet, anyway."

"Ooh… 'not yet', you said. 'Not yet'! Now what does _that_ mean…" The giggles wouldn't stop and she hugged me even tighter.

"You can figure it out yourself."

"Ha ha ha! Oh, Neku… Have I told you how lucky I am to have met you? You're such a fun guy! And now I'm even going to shack up with you so that makes me doubly lucky."

"Hey, it's the same for me." I reached up to caress her arm.

We just stayed like that, Eri clinging onto me from behind, our heads rubbing together softly and affectionately… and the slight embarrassment from being hugged and touched in the buff gradually subsided, replaced by a feeling of warmth and security. It's not just any kind of skinship. Ours is something truly special.

"Neku…"

"Yes?"

The air was peppered with a light giggle. "Either you're really happy to see me, or you've got a telescope under your towel."

It took me a while to catch that hidden meaning – I guess her eyes leering at my crotch helped me to piece the clues together. "Wh-Where are you looking?!"

"Don't worry. In the bath, there's nothing to be ashamed of, hee hee!"

Just then, my cell phone rang. It's a habit of mine to bring it into the bathroom with me just in case there's a call I needed to take, like now.

"Eri, if you'll excuse me…"

"Aww, so much for my spot of fun. Oh well, I'll be in the shower if you need me." She released me and popped back into the cubicle. I glanced back over my shoulder at her and caught her wiggling her butt suggestively. She must know I was going to look back at her. That's how well we knew each other, I guess. She's a real tease, that one…

The person at the other end of the line was very cheery and I recognized his voice.

"Phones!" he said. "I've got great news for you."

"For real? Cool. Don't keep me waiting, Kariya." He, along with Uzuki, had promised to help me source out some good apartments. Here's hoping he was calling up about that.

"Um, before that… is that a shower I'm hearing in the background? Don't tell me you're taking a bath with your lady friend?"

"H-How did you – gah!" I've got to learn to stop giving myself away!

He broke into an envious chuckle. "Damn, I knew it! You are one lucky dog, you know that? Hey, any chance I can join – OW! What the hell! That was just a joke – "

A couple of seconds of confusion ensued. Then when I next spoke, it was to a slightly disgruntled Uzuki.

"Sorry about earlier," she grunted. "Don't worry, he wouldn't be awake for a while."

"Oh, um… okay." I shuddered to think what she did to him… "So what's up?"

"We came across this apartment that we thought you might like. Got any paper? I'll hook you up with all the details, so go get something to write it all down."

"Uh… hang on. I'm kinda in the bath."

"With Eri no less? I know you two are a couple, but since when did you guys become so shameless? Especially you, Neku. It's a far cry from your previous timid self."

"I-Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"No. Now get that piece of paper."

XOXOXOXOXO

The next day, following Uzuki's directions, we found ourselves standing at the foot of a massive condominium. Being taller than the other surrounding buildings, it kind of stood out like a sore thumb so it was difficult to miss.

"How many floors does it go?" gushed Eri, who started counting. "Eight, nine, ten… at least fourteen floors! Wow."

"Hope you don't have acrophobia. We're checking out a corner unit on the fifth floor." Corner units aren't boxed in between other units, so they boast better natural lighting and privacy, though the upshot is that the rent is slightly higher than normal.

We'd seen so many apartments that failed to meet our tastes and demands. I was growing tired and nearly lost all hope of finding the perfect home. Might this finally be the one sent from the heavens?

Our worries quickly disappeared as we looked around inside. Unit 5-D didn't appear all that big from the outside, but every room turned out to be quite spacious. The kitchen in particular caught my eye. There was more than enough space if we wanted to work with a half dozen bowls of ingredients, which was saying a lot. And that refrigerator completely dwarfed my miniature one. We'd have no problems with food storage.

"Eee!" squealed Eri. "This is great! There's a bathtub, and it can fit two people _juuuust_ nice! It's exactly what we need!"

The estate agent who accompanied us coughed slightly and a flash of colour appeared on his cheeks. Sometimes I wished she had an inner voice.

"Um, yeah. That's nice and all, Eri, but what about the bedrooms? Are they big enough for you?"

She seemed satisfied. "Yup. The closets are spacious too. They'll be able to hold all of my stuff."

There should be no issues with space as far as I could tell. As a matter of fact, there didn't seem to be any issues with anything. Everything was in working order. The furniture they supplied was simple but sturdy. It's not five- or even four-star material, but compared to the other apartments we had seen, this was about as good as it got. And that's fine with us.

Eri and I huddled together for a quick discussion.

"I think this is the one for us," she said.

I nodded. "No kidding. If we don't take this apartment, there's no telling if we'll ever find another one as good as this. You know how hard it can be to land the perfect home."

"It's a bit farther from our colleges but there are a lot more pros than cons the way I look at it. We can't pass up a chance like this, Neku."

"What do you say, Eri? Are you happy with it?"

"Happy? I'm totally ecstatic! It's got a bathtub!"

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. She gave me a rough pat on the back, accompanied by a short bark of laughter.

"Relax, Neku! The bathtub is nice, but that's not the only reason I want this place."

"I sure hope you aren't getting your priorities mixed up…"

Another quick once-over of the place, and we were more than convinced we had to secure it for ourselves. We told the estate agent posthaste we'd take it, and once he got our contact details he promised to get all the paperwork ready. I couldn't believe it. Me and her… we could finally enjoy a life together and put an end to most of the worries and inconveniences we used to have. This was shaping up to be a fantastic development indeed!

Eri returned home with me to celebrate over drinks and more skinship than usual. I guess most people would pop open a sixpack of beer and drink up a storm. This was the exact same concept, except we used OJ since she was a teetotaler now.

"Once again," she shrilled, "cheers!"

"Cheers!"

And we clinked our cans together.

"It's a bit early to hoist the victory flag," I admitted. "I mean, we haven't even signed the tenancy agreement, let alone moved in. But I'm just so excited right now."

"Me too!" She sidled up to me on the couch suggestively. "You and I are going to have a lot more fun from now on… and some."

Uplifted by the good mood, I joked, "Yeah, I'll be looking forward to that last bit especially."

"Ha ha ha! You're funny."

I looped my free arm around her waist and coaxed her closer, to which she reciprocated wholeheartedly. Together with her I took a long look around the living room and it made me recall all the memories we made here.

"I still remember," I began, "when you first barged in here. You were totally plastered and couldn't even stand properly."

"Ever since then I've been staying over at least once or twice a week for the past, oh… I don't even remember. It's been a long time."

"Yeah." I took a swig of juice. "Even when I was always on the receiving end of your pranks."

"You're practically ripe for teasing," she chuckled. "Girls can't resist a guy like that, you know?"

I snorted, amused. "If you say so." Then, gripped by a certain thought, I spoke with a more somber tone, "Seriously though, we're going to have to say goodbye to our houses. It's a weird feeling."

If she caught a whiff of the melancholy, she sure didn't show it. "We had lots of fun times here. It's sad to part with a place that has a lot of sentimental value to us, but… this is for the better, isn't it?"

"Damn right it is. This is our next big stepping stone."

"I'm going to miss sneaking into your bedroom while you're sleeping."

"Well, now you can do that even more at our new home."

She smiled mischievously. "It's refreshing to see you so open and receptive to your girlfriend's… advances."

I mirrored her smile, to a lesser extent.

"I try."

...

...

**Author's notes:**  
><strong>Sorry I took long to release this chapter. I was actually working on this and Chapter 37 at the same time. I know it was a long wait, but the good news is that with Chapter 37 almost complete, I need only do editing and I should be able to upload it real soon! Look out for that!<strong>


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